#HEADCANON. ███ 夜曲 ⋮ character development.

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❚ ⋮ ☆ 015 ー Enneagram.

⊰ LINK! ⊱

★ Type 8: The Challenger

Challengers are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

★  How to Get Along With Me

Stand up for yourself... and me.

Be confident, strong, and direct.

Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.

Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.

Give me space to be alone.

Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.

I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.

When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

★   What I Like About Being an Eight

Being independent and self-reliant.

Being able to take charge and meet challenges head on.

Being courageous, straightforward, and honest.

Getting all the enjoyment I can out of life.

Supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me.

Upholding just causes.

★   What's Hard About Being a Eight

Overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to.

Being restless and impatient with others' incompetence.

Sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it.

Never forgetting injuries or injustices.

Putting too much pressure on myself.

Getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right.

Tagged by: @sailorrmood​ <3 thank yew Tagging: @uchjha​ @divergentdisparity​ @escapedartgeek​ @the27percent​ @spcgrl​ @roskaarotta​ and whoever else! I tag all of my mutuals so pls let me see... 

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❚ ⋮ ☆ 013

TWs include: abuse (psychological and physical), particularly from a mother, internalised ableism and ableist abuse.

Due to Nocturne’s deafness in one ear, and her half-blindedness, her natural center of balance is affectedーespecially when we consider her dyspraxia (due to her Autism Spectrum Disorder), which essentially affects her spatial awareness, resulting in what appears to be clumsinessーbut, at this point she’s been half deaf-and-blind since she was nine years old. Before that, she had already begun rigorous training; it began as ballet and ballet-adjacent methods, with occasional sword-fighting. After her injury, which simultaneously damaged her eye and the nerve in her ear (hence why any sort of hearing aid won’t help), her studies and training were set back severely. She had already had difficulties learning how to dance, struggling to emulate physical instructions due to her dyspraxia, and had faced a lot of shame and punishment because of her apparent clumsiness and slowness. Her intelligence was berated often. All of her progress seemingly became undone by her injury, and ironically the person who inflicted it on her punished her for supposedly becoming weaker.

Due to Kazumi’s extremist, unforgiving natureーand her repeated dehumanisation of Nocturneーthis only made her training for the next nine years even more brutal. It implemented more combat techniques, including sparring (which, considering Kazumi’s unrivalled strength, was more of just a Curbstomp Battle), including a far, far more rigorous dance routine. Nocturne is an incredible dancer, and due to that she does have a better sense of balance and spatial awareness than she would have naturally. But she earned it through blood, and tears, and years of unrelenting abuse disguised poorly as ❛training❜. Many people might not even assume that Nocturne is deaf, or dyspraxic, or otherwise affected by her disabilities, and even though she’s visibly blind, people can take for granted just how much has went behind being able to ❛pass❜. Where most people are doing the bare minimum every day, Nocturne is always, always using 100% of her energy just to survive ❛normally❜. She has, due to her mother’s influence, internalised this idea of always having to seem powerful, in control, never weak, and so she is rigid and highly critical of how she appears. But it’s exhausting. It’s exhausting, because she’s always in pain (due to her back), she’s always focused on two things at once, she’s always enduring. To get her to admit this is a Herculean task. 

Of course, in the line of invisible disabilities, it is not just her dyspraxia (which isn’t so much a disability as it is attached to a disability) that affects herー her ASD impacts her understanding of social systems, severely impacts her energy in social situations, and has a negative impact on her general mental health due to a constant feeling of alienation, of separation. I personally refer to this as the Changeling Syndrome, wherein that she feels, always, out of touch with everything and everyone around her, as if she’s functioning on a different wavelength from even her most intimate companions, and that she is always on bated breath waiting for someone to bring her out of the world she so clearly doesn’t belong in, and bring her to a place where she can relax and feel normal. She rarely sleeps, but when she does, it’s usually brought on by social exhaustionー spending hours around people, trying to maintain the performance of the unflinching Captain, stoic and strong, around everyone. Her loved onesーparticularly Amandine, Orun and Chamーdo get to see a softer version of herself, but even that can feel a performance, because there is always some aspect of herself she’s keeping quiet. Whether it’s the pain (physical or otherwise) she’s enduring, the exhaustion she feels, the constant balance she is enforcing on her physique, the hyper-vigilance of her surroundings and the philosophical/psychological weight of everything she’s doing and what it can amount to, the ever-present fear that her mother will come back for her... it’s all internal. How would she even begin to put it into words? 

Her ASD, in part, is why she bonded so quickly to Orunー as opposed to Amandine, whose friendship with her took several years to feel comfortable inー because he was aware of his own ASD and far more eloquent in its symptoms. He recognised Nocturne immediately, and he helped put a name to at least one of her experiences. Amandine is incredibly intelligent, but she never got as much exposure to the mental diversity of people, instead she was taught only what was ❛relevant❜ to her careerーfor example, she knew about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and could, in a sense, diagnose Nocturne with it (even just from the incident that happened when they met)ーso she never learned much about ASD. Orun's lack of prying, but also his ability to give her some sort of sanctum in a diagnosis, made her feel... close to safe. 

I won’t always refer to each and every one of Nocturne’s internal machinations in a threadーbecause it would become repetitive, or it would make them very text-heavyーbut understand that these are at all times something she has to consider. Nocturne is convinced that, if she slips up, even once, she will be destroyedー and, in doing so, everything else will be too. 

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❚ ⋮ ☆ 011.

trigger warnings for:  death, sacrifices, reproduction. this headcanon details, loosely, how breeding and reproduction works with nocturne’s species.

On the topic of Father’s Day, it should be noted that Nocturne does not have a fatherー that, actually, due to the way her unique body is composed (and unique in this case refers to her entire species and not a lone abnormality), she does not need one. However, there is a need for two (or more) parties to be involved in ❛breeding❜ー due to the fact the Umushi are energy-based life-forms (as we all are, perhaps, in some abstract sense; I am not going to pretend that my understanding of physics is at all well-developed), that is lacking in the composition of human (or human-like) bodies. Everything is an illusion, to some extent, but it is actually physicalー however, it is based off of the Living Sea’s perception of what human and human-like forms are. Which is why the Umushi are such a ravenous species; they do not feed to bring nutrients into their bodies, but rather to recycle energy and continually uphold their bodies. If starved, the first thing to go is their glamour, and lastly their original body withers away, decaying. However, due to this energy-based existence, and an ode to the way the Umushi were originally brought into existence, to bring a new Umushi into life requires a sacrifice.

However, as society demands (appropriately so!), these sacrifices are willingー of course, this isn’t necessary, but it is socially appropriate, and all existing Umushi have been conceived consensually. What this means is a donor, or multiple donors, elect to become a sacrificeーyou’d be surprised, but there is a waiting listーwhich, in short and simple terms, requires that they and the “parent” Umushi enter the Living Sea in order to break down the sacrifice into their core, fundamental energy... stripping them of their mortal body, and leaving only the Soul. (For, and I will eventually elaborate on this further, the Soul is indeed a real and physical thing in Quadracosm.) This Soul is then recycled, and combined with a donation of energy from both the Living Sea and the parent Umushi, in order to create a new life form. Due to the fact they mimic Mundanes (humans, essentially), they do have infant years, and a progression of growthー they become children, teenagers, adults. Aging is different in the sense that, much like lobsters, they do not die of ageー once they reach maturity, their aging can drastically slow (and due to the empathic nature of the Glamour, signs of aging can largely depend on the Umushi’s preferenceーKazumi, for instance, while being 70 at the genesis of Quadracosm, has the appearance of a woman in her fifties), but their appetites become greater, requiring a much grander source of energy in order to sustain their bodies. Due to the fact this appetite becomes increasingly difficult to sustainーand has a rather negative effect on the local food and donor economyーmost choose to end their lives willingly and gracefully by reuniting with their ancestors in the Living Sea, rather than suffer the pathetic decay of hunger. 

Umushi children thus inherit some traits from both parents, physically, but the Umushi trait far dominatesー Hitomi, for example, is technically half-extraterrestrial due to one of her parents being from Ecferve, but she does not appear as such aside from being taller, having longer limbs, and a slight... “insectoid” appearance. Consider the more extravagant form of the Other Mother in Coraline: elongated, gaunt, vaguely insect-like while still appearing relatively mundane. This is because her dominant gene is Umushi; it cancels out mostly every genetic attribute, par slight psychological and physical imprints inherited from the other parent. It is most likely due to the fact Umushi are an amalgamation of several creatures already, which is a lot to pass on. 

Nocturne’s “father” may not even be a “father”ーthey may be nonbinary, or a woman, or multiple people. She will never truly know what her entire parentage is, nor does she particularly care; there is no extended family beyond the Ametsuchi, not only due to the fact there is an unspoken knowledge that the Ametsuchi keep to themselves and do not care to consider others “family”, but also that to willingly submit yourself and your Soul to such a fate requires such a character (usually) that their family backgrounds are not particularly friendly, anyway. 

However, Umushi can bear children in a more “traditional” wayー that is, by not essentially killing someone to bring someone else. However, this lack of unity with the Living Sea renders the child “null”, no longer part of the Ametsuchi family branch. They do have certain abilities, but things such as “Glamours” are not part-and-parcel, since that depends on the Living Sea being involved. Mostly, abilities such as sonokinesis remainー but at a far weaker standard than is normal. They can essentially pass as Mundane, and do not have the same appetite for energy. They inherit equally from their parents, and their abilities do not pass on to their children. However, reproduction in this fashion is way less successful than even the average fertility rate, compared to the standard Umushi “fertility” which is 100%. Due to the way "standard” reproduction functions, there is no “biological clock” (for DFAB Umushi) nor is there any difference based on their anatomy. 

Children are usually had for tactical purposes, but not alwaysー an Umushi is capable of the same wants as any of us, and some of them do just want large families. Kazumi, however, was entirely detached when having childrenー even her eldest, Hitomi, was purely to get rid of someone else (Hitomi’s father) and to give her an Oracle purely under her control.

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❚ ⋮ ☆ 004: Theistic Beliefs

@divergentdisparity asked: II. The High Priestess (How does she feel about religion?

Whether the concept of God is applicable to any entity in the Cosmos is intentionally left vague (on a role-play basis) for now, there are religious factions and units within the scope of the Cosmos. One of the most prominent religious forces is that of The Holy Order of Saint Genevieve, and this is one of Nocturne’s antagonists; not-so-much that there is all out vitriol between each side, but that they are rivals in their purposes in seeking out and containing ATROSS. Nocturne’s approach is to contain and comprehend, theirs is to search and destroy. This brutalist approach does not soften Nocturne’s understanding of religion (that is to say, organized religion, not the presence of faithーalbeit, her opinion of faith was much harsher when she was younger, and has warmed with time) which had already been mutilated by her experiences with her mother, Kazumi.

Nocturne understands organized religion to be precisely that: an organization, upheld by rigid law that is fueled by a borderline delusional reliance on the abstract, which gives way to manipulate the vulnerable and be capable of unimaginable extremity. She rejects the concept, and though she is not atheistic (she doesn’t reject the idea of there being a God, more-so that many religious factions are not founded on genuine belief, but are founded on manipulation and power, and take advantage of the needy’s desire to be safe), she does hold some scorn for those who are outwardly and intensely religious. There are a few she respectsーthe Theomancers of Apotelesma, who worship and study the Stars, as a whole, and she does have friends who practise some form of spiritual faith or beliefーbut as a whole, she is wary of those who seem utterly and completely moved by their connection to God, combined with a relentlessness to push that faith onto others. A large part of her animosity with her crewmate, Ser Olga-Marya Petrovna of Belogvardeyski, is due to the fact she is a deserter of the Holy Order of Saint Genevieve, and she is hesitant to believe that said desertion is genuine, instead holding onto the suspicion that it is an infiltration of rank to somehow decode her (her being Nocturne) or to incapacitate her, and eliminate the Order’s most prominent and successful rival. 

However, it is not purely the Order’s fault for her rejection of religion. As I mentioned before, Kazumi, her mother and the current High king of Izanami, was a particularly negative influence. Nocturne lived in total and utter isolation with her mother, and was raised to understand that Mother was equal to God, and her relationship was less mother-daughter and more God-worshipper, although Kazumi was ❝kind enough❞ to convince her of Prophethood. That Nocturne was to be Kazumi’s divine agency among the world, but to lack any autonomy of herself. This was a successful indoctrination into what would become a cult-like fascination with the Unrending of the world, but it did not last longーat age nine, Nocturne’s delusional adoration of her mother was shattered just as her perception of the world was shattered, and this is what resulted in the loss of both her eye and hearing. Since then, the heart of a rebel had begun to beat within her chest, which was why as soon as she had the opportunity to, she ran, rejecting both her title of Prophet and her title as Heir. 

Kazumi’s God Complex was purely founded on a hunger for power and total domination, which became clear once Nocturne had been exposed to any other form of thinking, for while she was a child who had been all but brainwashed, there still remained a goodness in her. Goodness, you understand, exists in all, innately. It takes a conscious choice to remove it. Nocturne did not make that choice, and she recognizedーsubconsciouslyーthat her mother had. With her mother tarring the idea of religion, and Gods initially, she has yet to undo completely the understanding that religious factions (although not inherently religious individuals; she is not one to generalize, albeit she will be wary) are founded on similar power-seeking and dominating purposes. This belief continues to be fulfilled by the Order, whose search-and-destroy methods betray a philosophy of power and control. Nocturne is wholly an agent of Chaotic Good, and believes that freedom is essentialー it’s understandable that she rejects what she considers to be the antithesis of her very nature. 

Ultimately, though, her beliefs are rooted in something very simple: the fear of being controlled or harmedーas befitting of her Type 8 enneagramーagain, to be fully under the power of another person who had no empathy nor love for her. And, compassionate as she is, she fears that experience for any other person. It is of utmost importance that she protects all from being bound by control, victimized by others’ need for control. For her, one must decide for themselves what is Good and Right; never told, because that can be a lie. The only moral truth can be divined from the essence of yourself. 

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016.

on nocturne’s speech patterns, I wanted to make a point in that her manner of speech can be quite unpredictable. Raised by a High King, who remains incredibly and thoroughly praised for her constant and unyielding elegance and eloquence in equal measure (despite her private cruelties), Nocturne was at first exposed to language that was proper, structured and, due to the musical and artistic inclinations of her family, also affected by a flowery quality. Although not exceptionally literate (in fact, her literacy is rather poor, and has only improved due to years of arduous study) she is well-spoken and well-versed in language, especially as to the fact she can adapt and learn language very easilyーeven if said language is not her native tongueーand so, when she speaks, one can assume she received a rather high quality education, and presume her to be exceptionally literate and boasting a high intelligence.

However, likewise, although she can talk, and talk often, especially upon first meetingsーif we are to understand her through astrological purposes, which are not canonically effective due to the fact their astrological practises are entirely different, comprised of different planets and connotations, then we should consider the fact that Mercury is in her first house, which can give natives with this placement an immediate talkative air, although the nature of their talks are altered depending on the sign which Mercury calls home (in this case, Scorpio)ーshe is also of a rather stoic and private personality. She does not deign to overshare unless it’s observational or reflective of her own philosophical thought, and rarely does she actually reveal the nature of her emotions or herself unless she is in a mode of comfort to allow herself. In fact, it is this ability to be talkative that allows her some degree of privacy; people assume they know much of her character when she has in fact revealed very little. 

The intimacy she shares with her conversational partner also impacts her manner of speech, as does her experiences since her childhood, and she becomes increasingly more laconic and taciturn with growing friendships, which can be misconstrued as a growing distance between them. Rather, actually, this is a sign of closeness; she dislikes silence, so if she is accepting of it between her and a partner, then this is a sign of trust. But it is also a sign of fondness that she is so open to sit and consider another’s thoughts and speech, without feeling the need to contribute in any vocal way, because she is happy to simply bask in another’s tale. 

Also, a juxtaposition is crucial in her character; while she is perfectly capable of being florid, extensive and intellectual in her speech, which most assume to be associated with some innate understanding of social norms and politeness (at the very least), Nocturne is prone to rudeness. Her instinct is to be direct and tactless, with very little concern for the social appropriateness of her comment. She neglects to refer to others as their titles, especially if they are considered ❛Superior❜, because to her that has little impact on her perception of them. To her, respect must be earned interpersonally, rather than just assuming that they are owed it based on others’ judgements. For example, she consistently refers to her High Commander purely by their surname, which is perceived as incredibly disrespectful by some people, especially Doctor Pandora Anach���k, who finds Nocturne to be impetuous and entitled. Which, while a little harsh, isn’t all too far from the truthーas dehumanised as Nocturne was, she was also raised with an immense ego, a head filled with religious epithets and fates, and thus some degree of self-importance exists within her even despite the paradox of her immense lack of self-worth. A true-blue ❛inferiority-superiority❜ complex, one that she is not entirely aware of.

However, it should be noticed that she doesn’t always intend to be unkind or rude; as is the way with people who are autistic, Nocturne truly doesn’t understand social conventions, although she is slowly being acquainted with them over time. She really doesn’t always understand the nature of her speech is inappropriate for the context, or could lack sense and compassion for the other person. Sometimes, yes, she is being deliberately rebelliousーsometimes unnecessarily soーor rude, but sometimes she is simply speaking as she thinks. It doesn’t help that with a Mars ruled Mercuryーbeing Scorpio, as I mentioned, as well as possessing other placements in Scorpioーshe has a nature that is quite argumentative, overly passionate or intense in some way, and Scorpio is a sign of extremes. 

Speaking of extremes, my last point is, as I mentioned in the previous paragraph, Nocturne is becoming acquainted with social norms and polite manners of speech; this is largely influenced by Orun Li, one of her closest companions and another autistic person in her life, who was afforded a much kinder childhood and a much more natural way of acquainting himself with societal norms and expectations. As such, she receives his guidance much more kindly than she would others, although she also accepts guidance from Amandine (though not initially), and some other respected individuals. As such, she has ❛scripts❜ that she relates to others, which are in order to upkeep a respectable (due to the fact she does act as a Representative of Atlas, especially one of significant rank) demeanour and a diplomatic relationship with most she encounters. However, her politeness can seem stiffーshe is relating it based on stock phrases she has been told about, and lacks the nuance to acutely augment her speech depending on the situation. Sometimes, there will be significant pause between her statements (as she often speaks in absolutes, with little doubt) as she recognises afterwards that she has forgotten some sort of crucial politeness. 

She often must ❛remember her manners❜ which is a phrase I admittedly use a lot in her narrative, because she literally does have to remember her mannersー politeness is not her immediate priority. But she is not so prideful to assume that nobody deserves it. As she matures, she becomes much more naturally kind in her speech, and her true compassionate nature is revealed easier. But don’t be surprised if she is equal parts blunt and overly polite, florid and poetic and then laconic and simple; her speech is easily influenced by her company, but also is an amalgamation of several different ways of teaching. She is equal parts a fantastic speaker, and also incredibly awkward; polite, yet rude; humble and yet prideful. She is a woman of paradoxes, as are all people. 

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❚ ⋮ ☆ 006: O’ wingless bird

@the27percent asks: Death ー describe a time she felt she lost a major part of herself?

There is a scene in my mindーa trauma of the grand, theatrical and severe sortーthat played as soon as I read this prompt, but alas because it is very spoilery I can’t quite say what happens. This may change if I consider making a ‘verse dependent on it, but we’ll see. For now, just know that there are few things that make her feel loss like betrayal, for though she knows that while death is inevitable, a death brought earlier than what seems to be naturalーespecially if carried on the betrayer’s bladeーis something that devastates her. Again, it ties into her rejection of power and control, but it also strikes her as profoundly cruel, and while she is no stranger to ruthlessness, witnessing cruelty in such extremes does upset the still-present innocence within her. Cruelty hurts, and it never stops hurting herーshe never becomes desensitized to the presence of evil, rather than it seems to happen in reverse; she, at first, is convinced of only evil, and when introduced to the presence of real and genuine good, the idea of evil becomes far more abstract to her. Witnessing this betrayal, it threatens to send her back into that dark and unreachable place of worldly distrust. 

But, in an event that has already happened at this blog’s current timeline, and one I don’t mind talking about, is the dewinging, inflicted upon her by Ryuko Ametsuchi, Kazumi’s righthand woman. This occurred when Nocturne was eighteen years old, which is the age in which she fully challenged and confronted her mother. Her mother is entirely deluded by a God Complex, as I mentioned before, and her fatal flaw is hubrisーso, when her daughter (upon whom her entire plan is orchestrated around and dependent on) challenges her, rather than nipping it in the bud and utilizing protective precautions for her grand scheme, she indulges her. Why? Because it’d be more funーnothing would amuse her more than the breaking of Nocturne’s spirit, and her worship would be inevitable due to the fact she would have no hope left. In a way, Kazumi is influenced by iconic villains such as Hannibal Lecterーparticularly Mads Mikkelsens’ portrayal, in Bryan Fuller’s Hannibalーdue to the fact her actions are often influenced by whimsy. 

So, Nocturne challenges her: she can escape, and if her mother cannot find her within the month, she has no claim over her body, her soul, her lifeー she forfeits her duty as Prophet, and in turn has freedom to do as she wishes. This, of course, negates her role as Heir, and makes her functionally a political nobody, but Nocturne has no interest in games of politics nor is she particularly interested in being a monarch, especially a monarch who is so obviously controlled. It would be a Gilded Cage situation. Kazumi laughs in the face of Nocturne’s challengeー it is so cute, how generous she is. A month, when the High King is convinced that Nocturne won’t even last an hour. Of course, there is a limitation: Kazumi cannot use her sound manipulationーher control over which is immenseーto bring Nocturne back, since the likes of which would be close to “cheating” due to the fact all Umushi under the rule of a High King are particularly susceptible to their Monarch’s song. 

This does give Nocturne a fighting chance, which is also what Kazumi wants (again, she doesn’t want an easy victoryーshe’d rather Nocturne believe she has a chance and have it ripped from her), and so she escapes. A customary hour of a head start is given, but Kazumi has a secret weapon: a [redacted] that Nocturne is entirely unaware of, who goes by the name of RYUKO AMETSUCHI, and is a relentless, brutal woman. Unbeknownst to Nocturne, this Ryuko is a pyrokinetic Umushiーa thing of which had never existed beforeーand she is unstoppable, torturous and sadistic. She intends to bring Nocturne back to Kazumi, but broken, sufficiently. 

Now, don’t get me wrongーat age eighteen, Nocturne is powerful. Her whole life has been devoted to becoming powerful, at becoming an incredible swordswoman with a fantastic grasp of aquakinesis and combat strategy, as well as her hidden ability to create a pocket dimension, but Ryuko is surprising. There’s an element about Ryuko that I can’t describe here, but know that it deeply unsettled Nocturne and threw her entirely off her game. She is still so naive, and it really was her Achilles’ heel in this battleーwhich effectively was a curbstomp battle, because had it not been intervened by the Coven of the Underbelly of the World (or just Unders), Nocturne would have been brutalised beyond belief and taken back to her mother to recuperate.

[tw for the following paragraph: mentions of graphic violence!] 

However, they did not intervene early enough to prevent Ryuko from tearing open Nocturne’s back with a blade, deep enough into the muscle and sinew to puncture through her Glamour and reach into the very essence of herself. Note that Umushi have thin, almost indetectable lines in their backs to allow wings to slide in and out of, and that these slots where what Ryuko puncturedーexceptionally vulnerable places, and it was an utter and total betrayal of their likenesses. No Umushi before had ever been violated in such a way, and the idea of it being because of each other, their family, was madnessーsacrilege! And yet, it occurred. Ryuko not only sawed off the immensity of her wings, but cauterised the wound so that no depth of healing could allow her Glamour to recover or grow againーshe only has, in her essential form, burnt, rotted stumps, from which only poor copies can grow from, rotted and mutilated and useless. 

This loss was awfulー she literally lost a part of herself, but she also went through a brutal torturous event. She fully almost died, and had she not been saved by the Unders, she would have only survived due to her mother, which would have fostered codependency (Kazumi’s modus operandi) and eliminated all of her autonomy. It was a difficult thing to process, because often it is easy to believe you still love your abuser (and they love you, even despite the cruelty), but that action was so intense that it decimated it. Nocturne believed she lived in a loveless world, and is currently still afflicted by chronic pain. Thankfully, she no longer believes in a loveless world, but she still has an intimate understanding of violence and evil. An innocence was lost, one that had survived even the loss of her eye, and it is doubtful she will ever return to that place of innocence again. 

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❚ ⋮ ☆ 008: Names & Identity

Nocturne, as I’ve written before, is an adopted name. It is inherited by her ship, the Atlas Nocturne, a cargo ship in the Atlas fleet (ultimately under the command of High Commander Clarion Crux). Referenced in that headcanon is the fact that she, prior, did not have a name. Her mother, Kazumi Ametsuchi, never gave her one; to name something, in the philosophy of the brute High King, is to give something power... to give it an identity, a direction, a path. There is a reason that everyone is inspired to search the meaning of their name, to see if it fits, or why parents are so fixated on the ‘perfect name’ for their childー they avoid names of past lovers, of high school bullies, of annoying coworkers, of abusive family members. Why some children are given names to honour their parents’ loved ones. On some subconscious level, we recognise that there is energy in a name. In Numerology, there is the belief that one can predict or decipher a soul’s purpose through the numerical value of a name. 

Kazumi did name her other children; befitting names, too: her Oracle, Hitomi, was named after the quality of her eyes (and thus, her sightー though technically, her oracular abilities are not done through literal sight, only metaphorically), and her heir was named Kimiko, noble child. Ryuko, the most unusual of Umushi, was named after her draconic features (when Umushi typically have avian attributes). Names are typically important in Umushi culture, but not overwhelmingly so; usually, they are named after some sort of musical skill, some power, or a bird. Kazumi’s own name means “beautiful melody”, and it only seems appropriate that her command over sound, including her own voice, is one of the most impressive for a long time. However, each of these had a purpose, a philosophy: Hitomi was to be her eyes, Kimiko to be her heir, and Ryuko to be her “Dragon” (a common trope archetype referring to the Villain’s right-hand). Nocturne was never to have a purpose except to be an extension of Kazumi’s own self, the equivalent of a weaponー her having an independent identity was never part of the plan. Hence why she was raised in isolation, whereas her siblings were allowed (to some extent) to socialize. Nocturne’s autonomy was robbed from her, as much as her eye, wings and name was.

But though she was hardly a Mother (more a God in her own perception), she expressed a cruel version of maternal affection through patronising nicknames: 〝little bird＂most commonly, apt considering the birdcage she was essentially raised in. At times, she referred to her as her Prophet; in Kazumi’s mind, the Prophet was an idol for a deity, a carrier and messenger of her message. That is all she intended Nocturne to be. As it was, for many yearsーQuadracosm begins its narrative when Nocturne is eighteenーNocturne is nameless, often referred to in vague terms that usually call into play the only known facet of her identity: the Prince, the Ametsuchi, the one-eyed girl... none attempt to give unto her a name, for she doesn’t take too kindly to nicknames (at least as much as she expresses). It was only when she discovered the Atlas Nocturne, and the Cthylle Captains’ philosophy, that she finally, finally had a name for herself.

But I’ll say this. Nocturne is not the last name she will ever have. 

[vantablade]

❚ ⋮ ☆ Self-Knowledge.

【　Link to the quiz!  】 

RATIONALITY 

You like clarity and intelligent simplicity and you get frustrated at messy thinking. This can make you seem unreasonably pushy to some, but it is actually a virtue: you are motivated by a horror at pointless effort and a longing for precision and insight into how things and people work. Your ability to synthesise and bring order is essential in producing thinking which is truly helpful.

INDEPENDENCE

You don’t set out to be different for its own sake; you are more easily guided by what interests and moves you. You are more concerned about what is right for you than about the pressure to fit in. In sex you are more aware than others of impulses which are not entirely conventional. You know the value of selective irresponsibility, of forgetting occasionally about being ‘good’. 

SHYNESS

Part of you is gripped by the fear that you’ll launch into something and completely mess it up. The upside of this is wise caution: people are indeed often too rash, whereas you know, by instinct, that holding back can save you. Probably, you feel shame and self-disgust a bit too much. But when you do feel in your element, you act with a wisdom and sensitivity never found in people with thicker skins.

Tagged by: @sailorrmood (ty!!) Tagging: literally all of my mutuals who see this thnk you

[vantablade]

❚ ⋮ ☆ 003: Jack of All Trades

Nocturne’s modus operandi is all about doing ❛odd jobs❜ around the Cosmosーprimarily around the Bright Star systemーthat can vary from item delivery, pest control, rescue missions, etcetera. Some are more severe than others. Her primary objective is to investigate and control the insidious problem of abnormalities ( known to some as Atross, Bedstivye, Unspeakable, etcetera ) which are causing dangerous amounts of destruction and madnessーespecially if she can do so before the Holy Order of Saint Genevieve can get there. However, as those catastrophic events are few and far inbetween, and largely didn’t reach her notice until recently, Nocturne spends the majority of her time doing these small jobs. There is no monetary requirement for her to do these jobs for her, though sometimes her patrons are liable to give her a reward purely out of the good of their heartsーshe drinks for free at Pigsty, her favourite bar. 

In many ways, she’s your typical video-game protagonist, often asked for to do missions, regardless of her apparent power or influence. These tasks are given unto her through word-of-mouth or direct signals, the latter often due to repeat-’❛customers❜ or because her Commander has given her details to someone, and usually filtered through the commanding chain. Especially as a Captain in her own right, Nocturne can be timely, efficient and easy to access. 

It’s more than acceptable to have a thread wherein Nocturne is on dutyーeither with another character serving as the quest-giver or merely tagging along due to convenience, especially if they’re familiar with the area or have an odd ability. Sometimes, Nocturne is alone, but in many cases her crewmatesーparticularly Orunーor her companionsーsuch as Amandineーare not far away. Her AI Cham is always on-hand, due to being able to be summoned by her eyepatch.

In roleplay only specifics, with Earth-based characters, since Earth does not exist within her universe, often she is there because of an anomaly or gate which has opened up, and she and her crew are investigating it. In these cases, while it’s not obvious that she’s inhuman at a glance, she does have an otherworldly vibe to her that others can detect but not put a finger on. She attempts to disguise the more unusual parts of her appearance, particularly her eyepatch, with mundane accessories, but her way of speaking is unrefinedーshe can easily let it slip that she is not from Earth, though this is particularly present with nonhuman entities. Sometimes, this is on purpose, because often the unusual species of Earth are creatures she has yet to encounter, and she wants to understand what they are, and her sly comments are a way of establishing mutual ground and recognition.

[vantablade]

🌻  Which flower is Miss Nocturne?  🌻

You are a Sunflower. You are optimistic nearly to a fault. The friend everyone goes to when they are upset, you are selfless and caring by nature. But you have likely had a hard past, and understand what it means to commit towards stretching up to the sun. You're hard working and beloved by everyone who encounters you. Extroverted, a leader, not a follower, and someone who delights in being surrounded by others. Sometimes, you struggle to speak your feelings or admit to struggles. But it's okay to say you're not okay love, it's okay to be the one who needs some comforting every now and then! Let yourself rest sweetheart.

Nocturne, despite her paranoia and pessimistic leanings, does have a heart that is wholly good. Her narrative arc is all about letting go of the need to protect yourself (due to the immense trauma she endured in the formation of her life) and embracing the love of others, and loving others in return ー with Sagittarius, the philosophical optimist being the home of her Moon ー and learning, then, that life is rich and full of goodness, more than it is of evil. She is rather reticent with her own emotions, and though she feels extremely, passionately, she either represses it, or in the case of anger, externalises it. Nocturne is an iceberg, the tip of which is a stoic, confident and “realistic” (read: pessimistic) woman, while the body is an emotional goliath whose innocent belief in good remains, and is more powerful than anything. 

[vantablade]

❚ ⋮ ☆ 002: What’s In a Name?

Nocturne’s name is the same as her ship, which upon first glance appears egocentric and self-congratulatory, but this is deceptive. Rather, it’s the inverse. Nocturne had been nameless, having been unnamed by her mother (apart from an ❝affectionate❞ nickname), until she had qualified for her own ship and crew. Upon qualification, her mentor, High Captain Y’lla, told her of a tradition among her people: to take the name of the ship you steer, and thus create a synergy between Captain and Ship. It encourages responsibility and compassion to the ship itselfーin Cthyllan superstition, they are considered to be sentient (and sometimes this is the case)ーand to its denizens. So, when Nocturne saw the ship Nocturneーa sleek but rugged dark ship, made for hosting a handful of people and primed for speedーit was an immediate click. Having no name to give up and only having a name to gain, she took on both a title and an identity.