#HE LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYY WAS LIKE IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF IN FRONT OF YOU CHANGING THE TRAJECTORY OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER

[castielsupernatural]

look. jesus fucking christ. the one thing he wanted he knew he couldn’t have. and we’ve gone over this at length. why couldn’t he have it. maybe he’d let himself think, in the harder moments, that one day the nightmares would end and dean would be there, finally ready to be his. but he gave even that fantasy up, in a desperate moment to save his son’s life, and no one even knew. or maybe he figured he couldn’t have it. sorry ignore that im crying. maybe he figured he couldn’t have it because he thought dean couldn’t want him, wouldn’t have him, and the way things were just might be as good as they could get with dean. because this is dean winchester we’re talking about. oh well, it’s just in being. because he knew he was going to die without ever getting it. because he. sorry. post literally cancelled