#HAPPY THAT THERES INTEREST AND THEY’re liked and im grateful for it daily

[cozymochi]

I mean can't we give Ollie some sliver coins or silver spoons and forks to befriend him? If I'm not wrong ravens love silver objects but does apply to him? But he looks like a special and prideful bird so maybe no? 🤔

Well since I got spammed in quick succession, I feel inclined to address this point for point.

🌿 Corvids being attracted to silver/shiny objects is a myth. TL;DR: repeated anecdotes (not hard data) and confirmation bias perpetuate the myth further.

🌿 Oleander likes Pokeberries and he also likes Dazeberries from Briar Valley

🌿 He is a familiar, not a pet. There is no befriending, period.

🌿 ALSO!! Relax 😭😭🙏I tell everyone this all the time but please don’t overthink or worry about really esoteric stuff too much. That’s my job and sometimes @/oddberryshortcake’s job. At the end of the day, they’re just additional drawings in a fictional fantasy setting, and most of the time it’s really straightforward.

[cata-strophes]

oh man, i just saw your recent post about shark prince shiro and i am so full of giddiness right now! do you have any headcanons about his and lance’s future together, or maybe how they get together?

hi!! im so glad you liked it!

this is an au i created with a friend, miguel, and it basically starts with lance, who is a marine biologist/diver, enjoying some time diving around. there is a shark that is really scarred that always follows lance around like a puppy, and since lance finds it cute, he gives it a kiss, and voilà! it turns into a handsome fish(shark)-man!! the typical true-love-kiss-breaks-curse story (i actually drew that scene!)

theres a bit of nsfw talk under the cut!!

lance almost passes out when he sees the man in front of him, and shiro carries him to a cove where he explains he is a prince that was put under a spell by an evil wizard (i know, i know, cliche) named zarkon, and since lance is his true love he turned back to normal!

shiro decides that his people would be truly grateful at him for rescuing their prince and invites him to his kingdom. lance, who is still dazed and confused by all of this, agrees, and shiro takes him to meet his people. (he kisses lance again bc of some magic stuff to give him the ability to breathe underwater, since the entrance to their kingdom is through some underwater tunnels (kinda like atlantis, the city itself isnt underwater))

when they reach the kingdom and explain the situation, the mer(shark?)people are trully grateful! and the king decides his son and the hero are to be married immediately. lance freaks out at this, and shiro intervenes. the king recedes only when lance agrees to at least be engaged to their prince (shiro still insists to lance that he can refuse if he wants, but lance wants the fish booty).

anyways, shiro returns lance to the beach, and they agree to meet every day at the cove shiro first took him. one day tho, lance falls sick and his friends wont let him go to the beach, so when he returns he has a worried shiro all over him giving him smooches bc he was concerned something happened to him. (also nsfw warning but shiro has two dicques (and lance takes both)(later on tho, on another cove visit))

so, after some time of these dates, lance decides to explain to his family why he has been going to the beach daily no matter time or weather, and introduces shiro to them. they obviously freak out, bc shiro is a huge man with grey and smooth skin in most of his body, really weird eyes, pointy ears, gills, fins, claws and fangs (he is a shark afterall), but they calm down after a long while of lance coersing them into understanding.

after a bit they end up marrying! and lance’s family is invited bc shiro’s people know no limits and somehow manage to bring them all to their kingdom. its a happy ending after that because miguel wouldnt allow me to add angst to the story :(

there is like a tiny bit of angst when mating season arrives and lance is down since he feels shiro is limited to his fragile body and cant do much (did you know female sharks end up really bruised when they mate since male sharks have to bite them to hold on to them? and also they give tiny nips to demonstrate they’re interested in the female? so shiro is always containing himself since his fangs are Sharp and he might hurt lance because lance’s human body is much more fragile than other shark people (and also, two dicks)), and tells shiro he can like, go have sex with other shark person so he doesnt have to worry about lance all the time. shiro tells lance that he’d rather make love to him that any other and blah blah sentimentality they do the do

after a while of spending time in their kingdom tho, lance starts getting more shark person characteristics! he grows a bit (still small for a shark person, but tall for a human), his skin gets tougher, and grows gills. all thanks to ~the magic~

here is a doodle i made of him when that happens

he is a whale shark!

[missjackil]

My Season 13 Opinion

I loved it! It’s in my top 5 seasons, along with 4,5 11 and 12. S12 is my favorite, having the least amount of episodes I skip on rewatch, the rest all share about 4 or 5 episodes not worth more of my time.  The Season in Review I remember the teaser before the season started said “Season 13 is their Lucky Number” And Im thinking OK lets do this! Lets see some positives for The Winchesters!! Lets see if we got them :)

Character Arcs Sam- Sam has definite changes from season to season. This one was no different. We had Sam last season being heavy on the confident badassery, while pining for a relationship with his mother, to Sam jumping automatically into a fatherly/mentor role for Jack. Meanwhile he’s troubled. suffering great loss, worrying about Dean, the fate of their mother, and his own struggles with his time in Hell and Lucifer.  I read a lot about you nay sayers, who think Jared has had enough, is ready to hang it up, but I have to say Jared nailed every facet of Sam’s life. His relationship with Jack, has been the single most precious storyline the show has come up with, IMO. The chemistry was there immediately, and Sam knew right away that Jack was worth saving. In the episode Patience, we see this relationship take root. Not long after, Dean warms up to Jack, and then Cas comes back and tries to slip into Father mode because he promised Kelly, and then Jack goes missing into the AU. and comes out with Lucifer bent on taking Jack from Sam ... but Sam kept it together.  Through all this, Sam deals with Dean’s depression, fails at trying to cheer him up, nearly loses Dean for good, because nothing Sam can do for Dean, gives him what he needs... which is a win.  In the 2nd half of the season, Sam falls into his own depression. He lost Jack, his mother, Lucifer is back around and causing trouble. We finally learn what keeps messing with Sam since Hell, and what causes his sleeplessness, fear and helplessness, and it’s Lucifers true face, which he discovers he shares with Rowena. (more on that in S14 I hope) we discover also, late in the season, that Sam would like to have revenge on Lucifer, but hes also seeing that revenge doesnt fix anything. Sam ends his season being brutally killed by vampires, resurrected by Lucifer who doesnt waste time with the taunts and threats, being regected again by his mother, who he should have told to go pound sand up her ass, but tookthe high road to come up with a solution. He could have spent the last 3 episodes fighting and arguing with Lucifer but he didnt. He swallowed it all and then forcefully left him behind in the AU. Here, is probably where Sam thought he got revenge. He looked happy and wonderfully content back atthe bunker. It was short lived because Luci was out in no time, with Michael in tow and now determined to take Jack.  Sam didnt go on a rampage to destroy Lucifer, but he called Jack to come back, and then stepped into protector role. What this got him, was Lucifer kicking him around, ad threatening his life once more... but when Jack tried to take his own life for Sam’s and told Sam he loves him. We know Sam won, that was best revenge he could have gotten. So when Dean came around, with Michael wearing him, Lucifer could get whats coming to him... in typical winchester fashion, Sam tosses the blade up to Dean that Dean catches no problem, and finally kills the devil!  Sam’s arc, as I saw it from beginning to end, was a lessen in patience. Dont rush, dont act on impulse too much, dont take everything personal. Stay focused and keep your head. As Axle Rose told us “Take it slow, it will work itself out fine, all we need is just a little patience” Dean: Our Dean started this season out in the deepest pit of dispair. This didnt start at the end of S12 but in the beginning when Mary walked out. This started Dean on a spiral downward, that gained momentum in spots. Once he killed Hitler, Dean didnt get anymore big kills, too much of the time he was the one being rescued. At the end of S12, he was nearly killed by Ketch, and Mom saved him. He got a win by curing mom of the brainwashing, but it was very short lived by her being lost in the AU. Dean suffered the biggest handful of loss he ever had. He lost mom, cas, crowley, and rowena, he fortunately still had Sam but he was preoccupied with Jack, who Dean saw as the main reason everyone was lost.  Dean lost hope in everything, and though Im of the belief that he wasnt trying to kill himself forever in Advanced Thanatology, as he had full intentions of coming back when Billie said “it depends on you” he wasnt in the mindset to argue with her if she wasnt going to let him go. But Billie told him to live, because he and Sam are important. (my theory on that later) so Dean comes back, and soon after, Cas comes back.  Dean is immediately upbeat because now he knows there is hope. It wasnt because he loves Cas more than Sam as some may assume, but Sam couldnt give Dean the win he needed to regain his hope.  Deans good mood went south once he learned Mom was still alive and being tortured in the AU. He was now a man on a mission and he was going to save her no matter what. But then they lost Jack too, and Sam went into his own depression and Dean was there for hm too. He wanted Sam to come out of the dark place he was in, but he knew that darkness was justified. But they both pressed on and kept at it... risking life and limb on the daily, Dean felt extra need to protect Sam so he side lined him in hopes to keep him safe. Sam wasnt gonna have that, they’re gonna live, work, suffer and die together, and thats all there is to it.  However when the vampire killed Sam before Deans eyes, and there was nothing he could do to save him, I have never seen Dean in a deeper pit. He was literally a walking corpse. I can only imagine Dean having less hope at that time, because they were in the AU, where the laws of their world dont apply. Maybe Winchesters dont have a reset button in a world they were never born in. Im fully convinced Dean was going back to the cave to lay down and die next to Sam, when Sam came walking in. Dean was so grateful to see his brother walking, that he didnt care Lucifer came too....” no need to be sorry Sammy... now hug me you little shit!” (paraphrased ;))  Things look up now, Sam comes up with a good plan for the survivors in the Au, and most are now safe and sound in the bunker. Jack is a good little hunter, Dean gets hope that maybe someday the world will be safe enough that they can retire. But thats short lived as well when Lucifer comes back and brings good ole Michael and all Hell breaks loose. When Sam gets blasted away with Jack and Lucifer, Dean’s self destructive co dependence comes out and theres just no other choice but to let Michael use his vessel to take out Lucifer. The fight ensues, Lucifer is too strong, and is about to kill Dean, but Sam comes through by tossing the blade to him perfectly.... and he kills the SOB.  Dean’s arc this season was a lessen in Faith. Faith in God, faith in Sam, faith in love and faith in whats right. It can get better Dean.... every day can get better.  Now we can go on to more fun things -

Best episodes IMO Im going to give that to Scooby for being the most fun and most original. But there were so many really good episodes, Patience, (Sams side of that) Advanced Thanatology, Breakdown, The Scorpion and the Frog, Varuius and Sundary Villians, A Most Holy Man,Funerella, Beat The Devil, Exodus and Let the Good times Roll.  Worst Episodes : By far was Wayward Sisters. The only one I couldnt bring myself to watch a 2nd time. Other’s werent bad, but boring, such as Tombstone, A Devils Bargain, and Good Intentions.  Best Sam Lines - “I know what its like to feel likeyou dont fit, to be afraid of who you are, and what you can do... but my family helped me through that, and now Im gonna help you, You’re not evil Jack”  “We are going to go to this place together.... and if anything happens, we’ll deal with it it together.... and if we die? We’ll dothat together too”  Best Dean lines : “Its a lizard Sam, it tastes like Lizard” “They took my brother, now Im gonna get him back”  “Im never gonna appologize for protecting you. Do you remember the last time we had front row seats to the Lucifer Michael fight? Because I do. You died Sam, and went to Hell! Now I dont care much about what happens to me, never did... but I do care about what happens to my brother” Saddest moments: When Sam couldnt bring himself to tell Dean about why he’s hopeless.  Dean’s dead mans walk to the camp and his tears when Mary asked where Sam was.  Jack crying and punching himself wondering why he hurts people. Happiest Moments: The brohug and the tension melting from Sam’s face Sam and Dean getting a toast in their honor. Jack telling Sam he loves him Sams face when he realizes Lucifer is dead Worst moments: Dean popping a cork when he found outbthere was no more grace.  Sam’s death... all of it Worst Storylines: Wayward Sisters, Asmodeus, Sister Jo (not Danneel hate, it just wasnt a good story)  Best Storyline: Sam and Jack  Interesting things we learned. Sam hates strip clubs, Dean buys Sam a lap dance, Sam has extensive hair care products, and Dean likes tentical porn Stuff I want to see more of next season: Michael!Dean but not for too long... we need real Dean.  Why does Sam have to kill Rowena? What did seeing Lucifer’s face entail? The Man Cave Daddy Sam!!!!!!! Lowkey predictions fro S14 We get a frantic Sam looking for Dean, not unlike S10 but he has help this time . The Angels die and all souls come to earth as ghosts and wreak havok. This along with Lucifer being dead, open the door for the boys to work towards retirement. Get heaven reopened, and the souls back in, maybe by draining the empty of angels, wth Luci dead, no need for Hell, close it up, everyone goes to Heaven. Start eliminating all the bad monsters from the world, sending good ones to Heaven and sending the bad ones to Purgatory where they came from. This wouldnt need to be a quick thing, it could take years to do it, or clean it up in one season, but it provides an end goal. The boys find out theyre important because theyre the only ones who can accomplish this.  In the end, Season 13 was their lucky one. Lucifer is dead. Now they can work towards a future. :)

[imanameture]

I think I am going to kill myself

This seems like the best place to leave it. nobody follows me here so nobody will try and stop me. It is friday, october 6th 2017 at 1:16 PM. and i think im going to kill myself.... hopefully today. hopefully before my roommate gets back. I might attempt to hide myself... just, go someplace else. 

im tired of trying to talk to people, therapy is only making it worse. i think i would just rather die

now before someone tells me that its a “permanent solution to a temporary problem” might i remind you that in death... I wont care. i’ll be dead, I cant be missing life or regret what i did. If i am already dead.  I’ve wanted to for years

people just always insist on stopping me why though

everyone says all these great things about me but how many of them truly know me

how many of them know my favorite color or why i liked photography

who knows what it is that makes me a BAD person

people always try to convince me i’m good. 

im not good

I like to look at both sides of the spectrum

I like picking the bad guy

because i see why they did it, 

i can easily side with your standard disney villans, like scar and gaston (sort of, he was an arrogant dick i know, but so were most men back then and frankly most continue to be) 

I can remain neutral on things like mass shootings

I dont stand for hate crimes. that i cant do, people suck, we are all temporary, mortal, but honestly the same, we can be boiled down to the same basics, human beings, coming from different places results in variations in appearance and beliefs, culture, food, anything really...

i believe there are no good guys, or bad guys. people make choices based off of where theyve been and what theyve been through. and while it might not be whats good for you, it could be whats good for them. I mean really. out of everyone in this world. you’re probably thinking about whats best for you before you think of whats best for anyone else.

Which brings me back to my point

I think im going to kill myself

this is the decision that is best for me. 

In 19 years, I have never enjoyed confrontation, it makes me anxious, it makes me angry, it makes me scared and confused. I dont like it. I can not stand it.

So i never tell people whats going on thats bothering me or hurting me or impacting me negatively

I never told my parents that their constant punishing me for my grades, made having friends and a social life hard, I couldnt go to birthday parties or movies or the mall, because i struggled to get good grades. I couldnt do school, So i couldnt have many friends, that was fair, thats a productive punishment.

I never tell my boyfriend when his constant insecurity and bellyaching about things bothers me, Because i love him, I want to help him, i do, but i want him to remember that because we’re doing life together. it doesnt mean every aspect of our lives need to involve each other, I made plans with friends,you should too. I love him. and thats what makes doing this so hard, the one heart i cant bring myself to break is his. he only wanted to love and support me this whole time, he just wants to give me the life i dream of. he wants to give me the world. and i know he’s trying. and im so grateful that i got to spend these last four years with him. but i dont think i can do life any longer. I dont have the fighting spirit he fell in love with anymore. its not your fault, you did everything right. i just cant do it anymore. You are so deserving of love babe, you have so much to give, even if you cant see it. you do. thats what makes you a good friend, a good listener. an amazing boyfriend and an even better fiancé. Im sorry for taking me away from you, but someone who can love you better. who can make you happier will come around, she will give you the life you deserve. 

I wish my friends could help. but they tend to make it worse on me. I know i dont talk much, but please stop saying im secretive( that goes for you too family) Im not secretive. i just dont know how to address people about my problems. and when i bring it up, and you comment on how im finally talking. it makes me regret it instantly. I know i dont talk. I KNOW. but i dont need to be reminded of it, especially when im upset,

 Thanks uncle dad.we’re very similar, you told me that at least. But the days where i’d be upset and you’d just sit there with me while i laid in bed, quietly crying to myself. not saying much. just, existing there... it helped.

Since school started, i’ve been holding out, i havent done it yet, because my roommate was not ok after losing a friend earlier this year. and it sucked to watch her be like that. but i dont want to make myself suffer anymore, i’ve suffered in silence for so long, its unfair to me to have to stick around when i’ve already been so sad for at least 11 years. i dont want a lifetime of it

theres no guarantee that it’ll be a lifetime.

but honestly. theres also no guarantee that it wont. 

my friends have been going through their own things. i worry about them, and i love them, but honestly. once i reached the point where i no longer valued my life, i stopped valuing most lives. human lives.

 I still care about animals. they’re cute and bring me calm. I would love to have my cat here, or be able to adopt a kitten or a puppy, they’re sweet and small. theyre warm and i could hug them when i’m down, but my mother says no. so i dont even bother bringing it up to a therapist. 

I wish my friends werent going through what they are, none of them deserve it. the hardships and pain of life. of growing up. of learning to adult.  I hope they live long happy fulfilling lives. They deserve it, they deserve the best.

Ive hated my life

the more i think back on it the less i feel like it matters

my life that is

look. you want to know something insane, that i still dont understand

how could someone so ugly, be molested so many times

like

wow.

kindergarden

7th grade

and one time at summer camp

i guess thats not a lot. 

but i think one time is too many,

genuinely. 

MY BODY

has been taken advantage of

by so many people, they decided, not me, that i was theirs to touch, and stroke, and grope...

i guess thats why i cant stand physical contact with strangers... or anyone who  i haven’t explicitly told they are trusted.

i’ve been writing for an hour.

WOW

this really feels like a suicide note. 

Ive been saying goodbye for an hour

My therapist said to contact him if the feeling to kill myself ever came. 

not happening

I’m not telling anyone... not even my boyfriend,

i cant tell anyone, they’ll just try and stop me.

I could point fingers and blame, but i wont.

My parents were wonderful. They made mistakes, but no parent doesnt,  life comes with no handbook, and when you have to maintain your own and build something sturdy for your children, so they can live a good life. it can not be easy. I think you guys did amazing. and i love you. even though you can drive me absolutely mad, I love you guys. my parents are my first love. theyre amazing.

My sister is my favorite person, we always had a good relationship. shes my sister, she taught me everything i know about life, She does everything in her power to help me. to fix things for me. to make me laugh and smile. Most recently her daily spoop messages. she’s the reason i maintained an interest in anything, She sends me memes, and links, and music. she shows me plays and movies. she has the best cat, both of my sisters cats have been my favorite, when we got shadow i was 6, and scared of her, I wanted a dog not a cat, but we got a cat. and after a while i warmed up to her, shadow was gentle and sweet and beautiful. she would come to drink your milk after you had cereal, and she would lay on my foot when i pet her to keep me from going away. and laf is the cutest most noodly cat i have ever met, he’s thin and floppy like cooked spaghetti. and i love him.

I wish, i could put into words. why i cared for the people i did so much, why i did everything in my power to make them happy, 

but i cant

and if you’re reading this i’m sorry.

I cant keep making up excuses to live another day.

i have shit grades, i have a shit attention span, I barely have job and i know i’m not good at it. 

i’m not good at anything, I’m not creative, i cant draw, my photography is sub par, I suck at making new friends and honestly i feel like nobody really wants to get to know me. 

I dont believe suicide is the answer

i never have

but I dont think i have any other way.

I had dreams of getting married, and starting a family. I had dreams of studying abroad with my friends. I wanted to move to california. I wanted to see every disney. I wanted to travel the world with my best friend. I wanted to freelance.

I dont want much anymore

shit. i dont even want to eat most of the time

i dont even want to finish this post.

it is now 2:36 PM

Im wary... i am unsure if i can. 

but i think i will

I THINK IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF