#HAPPY BELATED CRIMUS

[mrs-han]

Hi Mama Han! 💜 Please know my Happy Birthday wishes are meant to be sent the day of your birthday and not before 🙏 (in my country is considered bad luck to greet someone for their birthday days before 😅)

I thought of asking for something sweet like MC making Jumin sleep on her lap on the days at his penthouse when he obviously didn't sleep, but THEN I remembered this video:

https://youtu.be/d_sa4Ur04QU

And the masterpiece that was "The Trilogy of the Marias" with Thalia and I thought: Jumin's route, but as a Mexican telenovela with the funniest tropes we love from the medium (the rich boy, the poor girl, the evil stepmom, AMNESIA, lost relatives, Soraya! Pick your choice! )

Basically I hope you can write something you can have fun writing 😊 and Happy Birthday (in a few days)

Omo, hello Darling!! *huggu*

(Don’t worry, I totally understand — my family will only say it the day of, too! I got caught saying ‘Happy Birthday’ to my father the day before his birthday, and I got LOOKS.)

AND OKAY UM, MEXICAN TELENOVELAS?! Omo. Omo, I just got an idea based off of a show modeled after a telenovela 😂 if you know, you know! (My mom loves that novela, by the by 😂)

Okie!! Here goes!! And ¡¡¡Muchas gracias por tu petición!!! Siento haber tardado tanto ><

Jumin had never attended a unisex baby shower before. His father’s more lucrative partner insisted on a gender-neutral theme, something Jumin heavily admired. The colors were very pleasing to the eye.

But as the party progressed, Jumin couldn’t stop noticing the combined glow and irritability of the mother-to-be. She kept complaining of the room being too hot, or too cold. She had even thrown a gifted pair of slippers at her husband’s head at one point.

“Ah, sweet love.” Standing next to his best friend, V casually leaned against Jumin’s sturdy figure. “Take it in, Jumin. One day, that will be us. At the mercy of our dear —”

“What the hell is this?” The mother-to-be demanded, lifting up a pair of slim-fitting jeans. “Who would buy me this now?! Do I look like I can fit into jeans?!”

V awkwardly lifted his glass to his lips. Jumin bit back a laugh.

“Hey Jumin, she’d like jeans, wouldn’t she? She can wear them after she gives birth, right?”

“Honey, try to calm down —”

“How can I stay calm when some idiot thinks I can fit into a size two after this?!”

Slipping out of the room like an eel between rocks, V set his wine glass down and exhaled shakily.

“I’m not an expert, but —”

“Shut up, Jumin.”

Laughing softly, Jumin’s eyes fell to his blurry reflection echoed in the wine’s dark red color.

“Kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?” V asked.

“About?”

“Settling down. Having kids.”

Jumin was ready to object, but his best friend was right. His mind did wander to the possibilities of siring heirs one day, but that meant meeting a woman and…

Ehm.

Still. Jumin’s age combined with the lack of an heir to the Han family name got to him.

A little bit.

“I have no interest in dating anyone at the moment, much less marrying them. Children are, unfortunately, a very distant goal.”

Finishing his wine, V smacked his lips, much to Jumin’s chagrin. “Sure, if you stay in your bubble.”

“Sure, I should be just like you,” Jumin scoffed. “Rambling to the park attendant about the speeds of rollercoasters and eventually throwing up in the nearest trash can once the ride is over.”

“… You said you’d never bring that up again.”

“It’s safe to say that you and I aren’t siring any heirs anytime soon. Women repulse me, and you, well —”

“Yes, yes, I’ll probably puke all over the next woman I talk to. Right?”

“… No, but why not.” Jumin grinned.

V’s eyes grew as a thought came to mind. “Ready for a crazy idea?”

Jumin took another sip of his wine. “Why not, the night is still young.”

“Let’s donate sperm tomorrow.”

Spitting everything up, Jumin’s eyes bore into V. “Are you — what? Why?”

“Well, like you said. We aren’t having kids anytime soon, and with how much busier our lives are going to get, it’s not a bad idea.”

“V, do you really —”

“We’ll be giving the gift of life to a couple. Or a well-off single mom!”

“… I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Come on, Jumin. We both know you’re going to say yes.”

“Doesn’t it bother you? There will be a young man or woman that will one day look like you, or me. We aren’t in the private eye, Jihyun.”

“Who cares about all that. Why are you so worried?”

Jumin felt the uncomfortable churn of jealousy over V’s more carefree nature. “I… well, there’s no harm in checking it out —”

“I already made an appointment for us.”

“You wha — delete it.”

A shame V refused to listen. The following day, Jumin found himself sitting in the waiting room of a sperm donor facility.

“No, that’s literally impossible.”

“Ma’am… I’m sorry, but…” laughing nervously, the doctor looked at you, then at the paperwork in her hand. “The results prove otherwise. When was your last period?”

“Uh, a I’m a little late, but —”

“How late?”

“Two, three weeks? Look, I shouldn’t be pregnant. I can’t be pregnant, I’ve never had sex! I’m here for the results of a Pap smear, not to —!!”

You cut yourself off. You had to, or the swirling sensation you felt would eventually tip you over.

The doctor’s eyes gradually widened. “… You… were the Pap smear appointment at 0900 hours on Tuesday?”

“Yes!!”

“… Oh!” Her laughter almost calmed your nerves.

Almost.

“I confused my appointments, you see… I had an artificial insemination appointment with another client… forty-five minutes after you… I must have gotten you two mixed up…!”

“Are you kidding me?!” You yelled. “How could you confuse the two?!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t — I had a lot on my mind that day! You see, I had —”

“Oh my God, I don’t want to hear it!!” Throwing your hands up, you couldn’t stop focusing on the anxious churning in your stomach. Hell, maybe it was the seed suddenly aware that it shouldn’t be there.

“There are options for you to take —”

“You know what, you’re done. I want a new doctor.”

“Ma’am, it’s the end of the year… and if you want to schedule an appointment with a new provider, you need to wait until after New Years…”

“After New Years.”

“And our staff at the front desk is going to inform you that the wait will be about two months out…”

You had never been more furious in your life. Sliding off of the examination chair, you (tried to) take as many deep, controlling breaths as possible. You were too afraid to ask about your options, and while abortion was the most reasonable, this doctor would probably end up giving you cyanide to injest.

“If I may,” the doctor voiced timidly, raising her finger.

You shook your head, agitating the budding headache against your temples. “I really don’t want to hear any suggestions, thanks.”

“No, you see… the sperm donor asked that I inform him of when his sperm was ever used —”

“His sperm should have never been used.”

“Nevertheless… would you like to know…? Who…”

The timidity of your doctor’s voice frustrated you further. “It doesn’t matter. I doubt I’ll keep it.”

“Which is reasonable, given the circumstances! But, I’m wondering if you, too, would like to know… given you may not keep —”

“Fine. Who is it.”

She stared at you, fumbling with her fingers. “Are you familiar with Han Jumin of C&R International…?”

You stopped breathing. Your fingers tingled, your throat went dry, and your jaw clenched so tightly that you felt your teeth grinding rigidly against each other.

Han Jumin. The heir to the massive business conglomerate, C&R. Of course you knew him. Well, not personally. You were currently reading one of his books, The Successful Path of a Certain Man, for your Business Intelligence & Analytics final.

He was a business magnate, a flawless negotiator and the role model for business majors everywhere.

And you were inseminated with his seed.

“I have to go.”

“Um, wait — ma-am!”

Ignoring your doctor completely, you grabbed your coat and rushed out of the facility. It was too much for you to absorb, and you had so many questions.

Like, what was the Han Jumin doing at a sperm bank?

How would you go about suing your doctor?

Why did you schedule your first freaking Pap smear towards the end of the year?!

You wanted to go home, curl under a huge pile of blankets, and disappear from the world.

But something else captured your attention. A ping from your phone.

Unknown: … Hello…? Can you see this?

[dvskf4llz]

HELLOOO!! Cloudy here!

Could I request some HCs for some of the hermits (Maybe Ren, Etho, Grian, Scar, Mumbo, Bdubs and Xisuma?) during Christmas w the reader (GN) who is there S/O?

Merry Christmas you wonderful being! Always take care of yourself <333

-☁️

CLOUDYY!! THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS IDEA

Thank u thank u everyone aswell

Merry (belated) crimus :3

I genuinely didn't have any ideas for the others so I couldn't do all of them sorry cloudy 😭

This is going to be really short cuz I'm writing this as I'm not feeling well so I apologize

(I'm literally just going to end each one of the HCs with a mistletoe kiss cuz why not)

Christmas HCs with the Hermits

𝓢𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓵 (𝓼𝓮𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓮) 𝓗𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓲𝓽𝓼 𝔁 𝓖𝓝!𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

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(Not proofread)

Grian:

-Grian would be type of person to still pull pranks even if it's Christmas, he would try to make the pranks more festive and decrease the amount of tricks he'd pull atleast

-In the morning, you'd wake up to him standing infront of you with a mischievous grin on his face making it obvious that he had a few festive pranks up his sleeve

-When you went outside into the snow, snow immediately got dumped onto your head

-After you got most of the snow from your hair/clothes, you were immediately greeted by a bunch of snowballs in the face who were thrown by none other than Grian

-After a few light-hearted pranks, he'd stop eventually so that you could calm down

-You two of course would make a few gingerbread houses and some gingerbreadman cookies together, Grian would even sometimes throw some flour at you which ended up resulting into chaos...

-The kitchen ended up looking like it snowed inside, but you two teamed up to clean it together

-After all the gift-giving, snowball fights, the flour fights and pranks, Grian had one last trick up his sleeve

-He set up a certain something ontop of one of the doorways he was sure you would walk under, and to no surprise, you did

-You saw Grian standing right in front of you with the same mischievous grin he had earlier while pointing up, you instinctively looked up only to see a mistletoe, of course.

-In the end, Grian did get his kiss and was all happy about it as the two of you spent the rest of the day cuddling

Xisuma

-Since Xisuma was the prime admin of the server, it was a bit hard for him to get some time off to spend the holiday with you. But eventually he did end up being able to get off for a while just for his lover

-He was a bit tired but nonetheless still had the spirit

-You two would spend the day by making snowmen, attempting to bake cookies, opening gifts and cuddling

-Xisuma would definitely be making sure you were covered enough before you went into the snow so that you wouldn't get a cold, he was just concerned for you of course

-He'd let you throw some snowballs at him, eventually he would also throw some snowballs to you as well just to get back at you

-He helped you build a snowman, placing the main body of the snowman while letting you place the head and decorate it however you wanted

-With baking cookies, you both would have equally divided regular cookies so that you could decorate them

-His designs on the cookies were a bit wonky but nonetheless cute, he even tried to attempt to draw your face on the cookie with the icing but kind of failed, you still appreciated it though

-You also happened to set up a mistletoe right above one of the doorways while Xisuma wasn't looking, you lured him over to that doorway and stood underneath the mistletoe with him

-When Xisuma realized the mistletoe was there, he chuckled before lifting his helmet up slightly to give you a loving kiss

-At the end of the day, you two cuddled onto the couch and watched some Christmas movies together <3

Ren

-mans would definitely be waiting at your side for when you wake up, he was just so excited to spend the Christmas Day with his lover

-It would be 6 am in the morning and he would be absolutely energetic still (Dog thinhs /hj)

-Once you were awake he'd immediately rush you to get changed so you two could go out in the snow already, which of course you did change into some warmer clothes

-As soon as you were out on the snow, he'd pull you with him to have a playful snowball fight

-What Ren didn't know was that he underestimated just how good you were at snowball fights, he would be constantly getting hit by snowballs, only ever getting the chance to hit you with a few sometimes (or it can be the other way around if you aren't that good w snowball fights)

-You two would make a snowman together and call him "Renbob", you even got to hear a Renbob impression from Ren himself

-You two would definitely be making gingerbread houses together, Ren was trying to go for a more architectural house while you were just making a simple one

-Of course, you would also join in the fun in the Grand Prix boat race since there was no harm in doing it. Overall, you did have fun most of the day

-So by the end of the day, when you both arrived back to your shared base, you and Ren just so happened to walk under a mistletoe together

-Ren would not hesitate to make you face him and kiss you passionately, his tail wagging like crazy as soon as he felt you kiss back

-You and Ren did end up ending the day with cuddling and loving kisses <3

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Yeahhh that's it, sorry it's rlly short

Not feeling too well so I had to make this short

I'll maybe edit this and make it a bit longer (maybe even add a few more hermits) when I feel better

Again, so sorry for forgetting this and so sorry for making it short TT

Happy (Belated) Holidays everyone!!

[shy-little-gigglee-bun]

mery crimus gigglebun~!! sorry i haven't been talkative lately, october was my bday, then november i was doing life stuff, then christmas happened ^^; 🛡️

🛡 anon!!!

I missed you! Happy belated birthday and merry Christmas ^-^