#HAPPY 12:30 FUCKI GN AM LOL
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transphilza · 3 years ago
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hey cia, do you think cwilbur's story will follow eight by sleeping at last? i always thought it ended in a positive note, the person being able to open themselves up to others and finally healing. as of now i feel like we're in the middle-ish part of the song? when they start to recognize they wanna be seen, be vulnerable and let their guard down, be understood, but don't know how to get there. idk what'd you think?
oh nonnie you are…. poking the bear with this question /pos. i was actually just thinking about this song the other day, i was gonna post about how “you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong, my healing needed more than time.” is now ringing more true than ever. i see a lot of similarities with his potential story outcomes and how Eight goes!
that line i mentioned stuck out in particular because i think reality is really starting to sink in, for him, and he’s realizing things won’t be as straightforward (“you were wrong”) as he anticipated. the reality of not being forgiven, no matter how hard he tries.
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also, this is part ^ is just so him about cfundy this past stream, isn’t it? hell, the eret stream too. seeing the worst and most broken parts of himself reflected in others…
i agree we’re about halfway through the song, now, hesitantly jittering in the void between getting close and then pulling away from others. i think in order for the vulnerability the song talks about to be fully realized there must be a shift from the cagey, avoidant honesty he’s been practicing as a means to pitch himself best and be as passive to others’ perceptions of him as possible, to true openness. this openness requiring him first being open with Himself, which he’s struggled with, but the line, “because i was sad.” last stream is a HUGE leap forward in this regard. so… the rhythm is not faltering and we are making leaps and bounds, even if we aren’t quite sure in what direction yet
my favorite line in this song has always been “here i am, pry me open — what do you want to know?” …like, baring himself.. not taking himself apart and showing off the pieces to people in a (distinctly self-flagellating) attempt to explain himself in some shattered disconnected way, but rather letting someone else see him in his entirety for who he really is. at THEIR mercy… which is difficult and would not necessarily be the healthiest option depending on who he grants that power over him. no surprise here that i imagine this part of the song will require a really intense conversation with someone who is truly Willing to Understand him to make happen…… c!tommy, anyone?
also random thing i’m just noticing but um actually the line “i’m all in” is making me go kind of insane cause. you know. all of the blackjack shit (hitting on 16 -> bust). dear god
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so. okay. here’s the thing about the end of Eight, and the turn to vulnerability, and what that means if we wanna project that onto c!wilbur’s character outcomes. i think Eight itself can be a self-contained ballad of cwilbur and his entire history, OR we can follow the line of reasoning that wilbur himself has used when explaining that the smithereens ending was an ending in of itself, and an ending that will stand alone and tall as an Ending no matter how differently revivebur’s story ends up. so, like, in that regard, Eight is about both the l’manberg storyline AND the revival storyline simultaneously and then you have two parallel interpretations which is. AN ENTIRE THING I COULD GET INTO. for example, being at someone else’s mercy can be about being at the Physical mercy of another (a la giving the sword to phil.) ORRR of course mental and emotional mercy. which is what we hope for This time around.
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the imagery of handing someone a shovel and a map after the “bury my innocence line” can be like. of course, giving someone the instructions to unearth those tender parts of yourself. ….or, if we look at the pogtopia storyline, it can be instructions to bury it themselves. Sorry i’m insane
but okay i bring this up bc like. look at these last few bits.
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it’s really bittersweet? really… violent and intense? i mean, fucking, shaking the ground, showing up on the front lines, blood and sweat, feeling Shattered — battlefields and explosions, anyone? there’s huge dual meaning in this, huge opportunity for interpretation about either a tragic ending (smithereens) or a hopeful one (the one we are currently looking forward to). and also, Eight ends really fucking abruptly. like, mid-crescendo, the song just Stops, which is very fitting for Nov. 16 but trying to interpret that for a positive ending is admittedly difficult. i could stretch and say something about him not having peaked yet as he thought he had, perhaps an open-ended kind of happy ending, if we wanna get real literal
but, hell. i think this just tells us that it’ll take something violent and intense for wilbur to ever be that open with someone. very reminiscent of what i said about things getting worse before they get better, yeah? i anticipate a similar intensity, to answer your question in the most deranged way possible. i expect the vulnerability to come but i don’t expect it to come easily or even in good circumstances. the last line, “invincible like i’ve never been,” is kind of fucking insane to me, although also it just reminds me of ever-indestructible ctubbo, but. yeah. yeah, i do think/hope he will get there. to the point where he allows himself to be broken and fucked up and accepts those parts of himself and of his past and finds strength in them. right now he finds weakness in them, is ashamed of them, and i don’t anticipate a full fucking self-esteem turnaround at all, because there’s just too much to unpack in so little time
but the vulnerability, yes! the putting himself on the line, yes! the intensity and the way everything feels like it will break apart all over again before it gets close to being mended, yes! yes yes yes! i think once the story is over, Eight will be. Beautiful.
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