#HAIRCHADS RISE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

[seakicker]

as a certified hairy pussy enjoyer, i am obligated to share my hairy pussy enjoyer genshin headcanons because i am objectively correct 110% of the time. i have never shared an incorrect take in my entire life.

i (self-indulgently) consider childe a hairy pussy lover because i’ve always been obsessed with the idea of snezhnayan men valuing fertility and comfort in a partner over all else given how uninviting and uncomfortable the snezhnayan landscape is. soft bodies that suggest luxury, a comfortable lifestyle, and fertility are the apex of snezhnayan beauty standards because the ability to successfully birth, care for, and raise a child is so important in a place where the elements act against you the entire year. you know how humans don’t have a designated mating season because we’re the one species able to consistently mate indoors and don’t have to worry about “surviving the winter” as much as other non-human animals do? childe didn’t get the memo. he needs a thick, soft wife to get him through the winter, and a soft bush of pubes suggests fertility like absolutely nothing else. this applies to any other snezhnayan character btw childe’s just my fave hairy pussy enjoyer LMAO

tighnari and gorou both love hairy pussy for the same reason— as fox and dog hybrids, they have finely-tuned senses of smell and hair tends to hold onto a body’s scent more intensely than smooth, shaved skin does. you know that inner-thigh sweat that builds up on a hot day underneath the legholes of your shorts? consider that the appetizer before the feast for tighnari and gorou because they go ham on your body’s natural scent like absolutely nothing else. the chemically, artificial smells of perfumes and ointments? no thanks, those irritate their sensitive noses— you smell loveliest with your natural scent.

i like to imagine that albedo and scaramouche don’t grow body hair below the nose because they’re not human and mammals are partially characterized by having body hair. i also have the headcanon that scara and albedo’s head hair never grows and they were just created with the exact hair + eyelashes eyebrows they have now and nothing ever grows naturally, but that’s not really the point here. anyways, i like to imagine that they take some sort of fascination with your body’s hair because it’s something they don’t experience and don’t know too much about. it’s a lot of fun. you’ll have to ask very nicely for scaramouche to not tug on your hair because he doesn’t really care if it hurts you or not— it’s just another way he can make things miserable for you since pubes are unique to you and not him LMAO