#H.G. Stratmann

[tediousreviews]

Analog (July/August 1999)

Minus last week but one's novella, it's time for the Analog double issue.

We have one more novella, a trio of novelettes, and a trio of short stories. Plus, we have the conclusion to the Quantum Rose serial.

Please accept my thoroughly insincere apology for the delay in this review, and proceed beyond the cut.

Serial

The Quantum Rose, Catherine Asaro

Ok, so over the last two episodes our heroine avoided being forced into a marriage by being forced into another marriage, learned her new husband was a telepath with a drinking problem, and also learned that she was part of a genetically engineered slave-race. Fun stuff.

This time she gets kidnapped, forced back into the original marriage, raped repeatedly, and then stuck in the middle of a really obnoxious trial centered around coercing her into talking about who exactly is coercing her more.

Cheery.

Novella

Emperor Penguins, Joseph Manzione

As far as reasons for advanced cultures initiating first contact go, using us as an excuse to advance legislation allowing males to sue for custody of their children in a divorce is... well the particulars are a bit rare but the general tone is about average I'd say.

Novelettes

As Time Goes By, Amy Bechtel

More in the ongoing adventures of a vet, some sea monsters, and a few other people.

Eh, it was a nice little bit of weirdness.

Live Bait, Shane Tourtellotte

In the future, people will entertain themselves by passing through living not-whales the long way. Some other people with have problems with this. Also murder.

Because of course the environmentalists have to be murderers.

E-Mage, Rajnar Vajra

Ugh. Why do so many hacking stories inexplicably involve VR and bizarre metaphors?

Don't answer that.

Short Stories

Tempora Mutantur, H.G. Stratmann

Time travel, a stupid hoax that wouldn't work, and the world's worst brother.

You lost me at time travel.

Out of Warranty, Gordon Gross

Nanites and evil corporations.

I'm pretty sure I've reviewed an almost identical and clearly superior story, although whether it was in Analog or Asimov's I couldn't tell you and I'm not willing to go looking.

GCEA, Laurence M. Janifer

It's a carnival mystery story with like two throw away lines to make it SF. Also random ukelele references that I had to look up and be disappointed by.

The whole "I forgot this story was supposed to be SF, better make it IN SPACE." thing keeps almost getting me in trouble with my fake advice column. So I sympathize.

Final Thoughts

I mean, I guess I could with this one, but let's just let it slide.

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[tediousreviews]

Analog (April 1999)

A novella, two novelettes, and three short stories.

Novella

Seed of Reason, Daniel Hatch

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. In particular it's dangerous to influence world politics when you only have a little knowledge.

Somehow I have a hard time caring about some idiot keeping his grant when there's a genocidal war going on.

Novelettes

The Company Man, Kent Johnson

Corporations suck, and they don’t really have any loyalty towards their very important management types.

I mean, yeah. They also don’t have any loyalty towards their regular workers, their executives, the overwhelming majority of their shareholders, their nation, society at large, or any abstract philosophical ideas such as morality.

Prudence and Fortitude, Michael F. Flynn

Paramilitary-esque training programs for space flight, a random plane crash, and a group of people who don't actually like or care about each other even though circumstances have conspired to make them pretend that they do.

Short Stories

Democritus' Violin, G. David Nordley

Is a perfect copy really different than the thing it's a copy of?

I don't have any better idea after reading this story than I did before, because if you can use carbon dating to differentiate between two copies they aren't perfect copies.

The Dashing About Flying Box People, Uncle River

First contact is an interesting and well explored contact. Second contact hasn't been covered as deeply. That doesn't mean that having second contact fall to a tourist group is anything resembling a reasonable idea.

Remembrance of Things to Come, Lawrence Watt-Evans

Time travel is, as I've said before, one of my pet peeves. This story didn't do anything to soothe my hatred of its premise.

Going Home, H.G. Stratmann

Avoiding time travel is usually a good thing. Doing it in the single most annoying way possible is not.

Final Thoughts

So so very tired tonight.

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[tediousreviews]

Analog (February 1998)

Three Novelettes, three short stories, and a clickbait essay. Why should you read the rest of the review? Because the power of rock compels you!

Novelettes

Olympus Mons!, Bud Sparhawk

I think it's pretty obvious that most authors who write about races, of any sort, don't actually like racing. There's not much reason otherwise for every science fiction race story to include attempted murder by sabotage, attempted vehicular manslaughter, and absurdly, life-threateningly, reckless on the part of their racers.

Anyway, this one's an endurance/orienteering race of sorts on Mars that has a somewhat romantic ending.

It's a pretty decent example of the sub-genre, but it's doesn't quite rise to the level of pod-racing.

The Orchard, Paul Levinson

In the search for non-human intelligence, sometimes there's no way to look directly. I suppose, in a way, an obvious lack of OSHA compliance is a sign of a very specific kind of intelligence.

I'm not actually a fan of stories where the mission is treated as more important than the lives of the people performing that mission. There are exceptions, like when the mission is to save large numbers of other lives, but 'I need those samples to finish my thesis' isn't a good reason to risk your life in my book.

I guess my perspective's just a bit skewed that way.

Roll Over Vivaldi, Stephen L. Burns

This story has everything. An incompetent and imperialistic ambassador. A concert to help civilize the natives. Hilariously bad taste in classical music. And most of all, rock with the power to move the hearts and shake the souls  of a rampaging horde of lobster-bear people.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story, and it was exactly what I remembered reading from the first time.

Science Fact

Sex in Space: The Fantasy and the Reality, H.G. Stratmann

The problem with serious articles about sex in space is that we don't actually know anything interesting. So we get the 'well even though NASA won't admit anything, we think the hardware all works in microgravity' bit. We also get a bit of embarrassed mumbling about positions and stability. And then we get a decent, but dry essay on reproductive health and radiation.

This article is useless without pics.

Short Stories

What's it Like?, Jerry Oltion

I guess it's not surprising that shortly after discovering a way to use technology for body-swapping, the research team would start screwing around just for the fun of it. Nor is it too surprising, once it's revealed that being pretty much anything other than human is amazing by comparison, when the viewpoint character opts for a permanent upgrade.

Shitty thing to do to the caterpillar though.

Mortal Instruments, Shane Tourtellotte

A violinist pays a fortune and burns several relationships to be the first person to undergo an operation to improve his hearing the way he thinks he needs to improve his playing. It goes not-so-very-but-still-somewhat-horribly right.

The Tale of the Cat, Poul Anderson

Interstellar travel is slow, and mostly only done by a people apart. Joining them isn't easy. But that still doesn't justify stealing a cat and nearly traumatizing a child.

Final Thoughts

Not bad all around.