#Guys it's not Ella's fault her mother died you guys (at least the older ones) burned her

[cinderellaenjoyer]

Ella for like 14 years of her life

[ellana-ravenwood]

There is nothing left of him - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : Batmom is Harvey Dent’s sister, and she...isn’t dealing very well with his Two-Face transformation. Fortunately, her Bruce is here to help...

Hey guys ! So here’s a little story that is...a bit different than what I write usually ? I don’t know if I make sense....It’s also way too fucking long sorry ‘bout that.  Oh and if you guys don’t know much about Two-Face, the “fictional biography” on his wikipedia page will tell you everything you need to know for this story. Written in basically twenty minutes, while watching a film. Anyway, hope you’ll like it : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

________________________________________________

-Oh leave us alone (Y/N) ! 

-It’s ok Harv’, she’s not doing any harm, she just want to spend time with us.

-But Bruce, she’s a baby !! 

You weren’t very tall for your age, and your brother and his best friend were definitely taller than average but...You’d be damn if you were going to let your older brother call you “a baby” ! Outraged by his words, you say : 

-I’m not a baby ! I’m six years old ! 

-And we’re ten, you’re a baby to us !! 

-Hu hu I’m noooot ! 

-You’re acting like one for sure ! 

-No I don’t ! I’m not the one that wet the bed ! 

Harvey gives a worried look at his friend but...of course he should know Bruce wasn’t the kind to mock others. Or, he wasn’t that kind of person anymore. Since his parents died, he changed. He laughed less, he smiled less, and he never teased him anymore. He was...different. But still his best friend. 

-You can stay with us if you want (Y/N). 

Harvey gasps at his friend’s words. Maybe it’s in that moment, that you started to have a crush on him ? Right there and then, as he was about to defend you ? You don’t even remember. It felt like he was always the one that held your heart, even when you didn’t even know what romantic love was yet (and any mention of kissing a boy would gross you out). 

-Come on Harvey, your little sister is nice ! If I had a sister, I’d let her hang out with us...

There’s an indescribable sadness in his friend’s eyes, and Harvey stops himself before he can say : “it’s not the same, you would do that because your parents are dead”...He doesn’t say it because he knows how insensitive and mean it is. But he’s not about to let this pass without a fight, they couldn’t hang out with you, you were such a baby !

But he never has the occasion to protest, because his sweet lil’ sis’, you, takes his hand in yours and...His friend is smiling. 

Bruce Wayne, whom he almost never saw smiling in those past two years since his parents’ death, that Bruce Wayne...has the widest smile as he looks at you. 

In this moment, it was just children sympathy. It was a cute act from a six years old who realized that her brother’s best friend, who was always nice to her, was sad. And so you took his hand, and squeezed it. And he smiled at you because the gesture somehow soothed him. 

In this moment, neither you nor Bruce, being kids, felt this particular love that would slowly grow between the two of you...But in this moment, your hand in his was the most comforting thing that ever happened to him since his parents’ death (that and Alfred’s hugs). 

************

There’s a darkness in your father, that no one knows but you, your mom and your brother. 

You know he doesn’t mean it. You know he’s sick. There’s something wrong in his head. But it still hurts when he yells at you, when he beats you and when he...You have nightmares about it. About that damn coin. 

He takes it out whenever he’s in one of “those moods”, which is almost every night. “Tail I win, head you loose” he says, and of course, you have no chance to ever win. Harvey often takes your place. Takes the beating instead of you. 

He protects you. In a way, he’s the father you deserve really. 

You know it’s not entirely your father’s fault. You know he’s sick. There’s something wrong in his head and...But your brother is always here to protect you. To protect you and your mother. And he’s getting stronger. Though for some reasons, he lets your dad hit him...

It’s because he knows too, that he has a problem. He knows too he’s sick, that something is wrong in his head and...as the years go by, your older brother, Harvey Dent, feels and understands more and more his father, and it terrifies him. 

And so he hides it. He hides the fact that he isn’t alright either. That he might be sick too, that something is wrong in his head as well. He hides the fact that he suspects himself to be bipolar and/or schizophrenic. He hides it because...he doesn’t want you to look at him the way you look at your father. 

************

8 years later : 

They didn’t get murder like his parents, and it wasn’t in front of their eyes but...Bruce understands. Oh he understands them. 

He understands that Harvey doesn’t want to speak to him, and he understands the way you’re trying to hide your tears. 

He understands how angry your brother is, and how lost you are. 

He wishes he could help you, he wishes he could have had stopped that drunk driver who crashed into your parents’ car but...it’s impossible. 

Maybe one day he’ll be able to truly help people, to save lives but...Yes. He has to do it. He had planned it for years, but now, it seems to difficult to leave. How can he abandon his best friend and you in this awful moments ? 

You just lost your parents. He knows how it feels. He knows you need support, even if you guys might not admit it. And Hell, Harvey and you were there for him all those years, was it right to leave now ? 

But he has to. He has a mission. He promised his parents and he knows...He knows it will require sacrifices. But as the funerals end, and Harvey walks past him without even talking to him, he finds it extremely difficult. 

And when he sees everyone leaving one by one and you staying behind, like he did at his parents’ funerals...It’s almost impossible for him to just leave. 

He approaches you, and you jump as his hand lay on your shoulder. It’s impressive, really, how you manage to smile at him (though there’s a certain sadness in your eyes, that Bruce knows oh too well), even in this moment. 

It’s his time now. His time to comfort you, to help you like you helped him all those years. The worst was that you didn't even know you were helping him. You had no idea that only your jokes made him laugh, only your hand squeezing his made him feel better, and only your presence calmed him down. It was all very platonic really (at least at the time, as you were just fourteen and he couldn’t see you as more than a friend yet). He just needed you and this aura surrounding you, that made everyone feel better whenever you opened your mouth. 

Your wits and sarcasms were always a sure way to have fun, and you were so damn wise for such a young child, you didn’t know it, but you helped Bruce so much coping with his parents’ death, with your kind words and sayings that just made so much sense...And so it’s his time to help you as you helped him. 

He slips his hand in yours, and squeezes it. As you did years before. And he doesn't let go. Oh he doesn’t let go for so long. 

By this point, you know you’re doom. Why did this have to happen though ? Why did you have to fall in love with your brother’s best friend ? You know you have no chance. He’s too old for you. He would never look at you that way. But...it’s ok. If you can just enjoy his presence and support, it’s still good, you know ? And so, you squeeze his hand back, and you let yourself go. 

It’s the first time he sees you cry. He hopes it’s the last time too. 

You don’t see Bruce for almost six years after that. 

************

-Drop it (Y/N) ! 

-I won’t drop it H ! I WON’T ! You know you’re not alright and you need to...

-I DON’T NEED TO DO ANYTHING ! 

He never screamed at you before. It stops you dead in your tracks. And it makes his heart bleed. No. Not that. He can’t be like that with you out of everyone. But there’s a spark in your eyes. You’re not afraid of him (not yet), you’ll fight for him if need be. And relief washes over him for a split second, until he hears your words : 

-Since mom and dad died, you haven’t been the same. Now I saw how Bruce...

-Bruce is gone ! He left years ago and won’t ever come back ! He’s probably dead too ! 

-Don’t say that, we don’t know what...

-He left without a word at a moment I needed him. He didn’t even say goodbye. And no one knows where he went. And before you say something else, the subject is closed. Mom’s death did change me however. Not dad’s. 

-What...What do you mean ? 

-I mean he was an abusive cunt. And I don’t miss him. In fact, if I was so angry for months after their funerals, it’s because I never got the chance to be the one that killed him. 

There’s a shift in the way he’s standing. As if he’s suddenly a different person. His shoulders hunch slightly, and he stands closer to the shadows in the poorly lighted room you’re both in. And his voice ? It’s lower than usual, and rougher, when he adds : 

-I wish I was the one that ran into his car. Better. I wish I was the one to pull the trigger and blow his brain out. I wish..Oh I wish I did so many thing to him. Use his damn coin against him. “Tail I win, head you loose”. Blam Blam. Two shots. 

His back is turned away from you. And for the first time in your life, you’re scared of him. As if it’s not him anymore, as if it’s not your loving brother at all...With a shaky voice you try to keep still you say : 

-Harvey...This doesn’t sound like you, he was our dad...And he was...he was sick, you know that and...

-It doesn’t excuse everything (Y/N). And I wish you could see that. You’re...Too pure for this world little sis’...

He’s Harvey again. His voice is back to normal, and he’s standing the same way he always has. He smiles at you, of this smile that always meant : “I’ll protect you to death” and he says : 

-But don’t worry (Y/N). I’ll always be there for you.

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know if you want to say anything. 

You don’t know what to feel. You know in a way he’s right, your father was an abusive cunt but...He was sick. Oh so sick. And not always a terrible man. He had his moment of clarity. Of love. And as your brother approaches you and takes you in his arms, you can't help but recall the way your father used to take you in his arms after one of his fit. To apologize without ever saying there were an actual problem with him. It was both reassuring and terrifying. 

It’s the exact same hug Harvey is giving you, as you know the topic of his mental health is closed forever. And you almost regret ever talking about how he needed to take a break, how he needed to open up to you more, how he needed to not overwork himself with college and such. Law school was so demanding, and you could see it take its toll on his mind...You only said that. 

And he yelled at you. He never yelled at you before. 

And he said those...Things about killing your dad himself. 

His grip on you tightens a bit and you take a decision. He doesn’t want to talk about the state of his mind ? Fine. But you’ll make sure to always be there for him, to look out for him, as he did for you all those years. 

You’ll never give up on him. 

************

Your brother became a district attorney. The youngest one Gotham ever knew. How fitting. 

But you never doubt his capacity. He’s always been a genius. 

The day he wins his first case, you celebrate it in your favorite coffee shop with all your friends. Or rather, his friends. You became somewhat of a loner, and it was fine by you. You didn’t really need anyone but your brother did you ? 

...That was a lie. There was someone you needed. Someone who always knew how to cheer you up. Someone you haven’t seen in years. Someone that was right there, behind the window of the coffee shop. Wait...What ?! 

Bruce. 

It’s him, there’s no doubt about it. He’s way taller than in your souvenirs, and larger too like damn, when and how did he got so muscular ?

You don’t really know how you got outside but here you are, in his arms, and...yes. It’s Bruce. Most definitely. 

Your brother cast him away from his birthday, not ready yet to forgive him. And you follow after him, too curious about what happened all those years...

************

Eventually, Harvey comes around, and invites Bruce out to dinner. They talk. For hours. About what happened all those years. About Harvey’s cases, and Bruce’s need to get away from everything. 

He talks about his travels, how it changed him and toughened him up. And you can only agree. He does look changed. For the better or not ? You’re not sure yet. 

It’s good, to catch up. Oh you missed him. 

And as he looks at you, all grown up now, he realizes that...he missed a lot too. He missed you. And he missed that part where, somewhere along the years, something changed in his heart. He missed that part where his feelings toward you changed...Or maybe it’s because it just happened and he didn’t have time to register it yet ? 

What’s sure is that something changed. In a good way, he knows. And the way your smile makes his heart beat faster confirms it...

************

Of course you’d be the target of ill intentioned people. 

You were the most prolific district attorney in Gotham’s city history’s sister. You were the closest person from him and a perfect leverage for any case that would happen. 

You’re 22 when you’re “finally” kidnapped. You’re walking home, thinking about the last time you saw him...Bruce. It’ll always blow your mind, how, more often than not, he would ignore models just to speak to you. How he’d genuinely smile only to you. Were your brother right ? Did he have a crush on you too ? But that was impossible. He was THE Bruce Wayne. How could he like a plain girl like you ? Right ? ...

It’s the Maroni family, as the trial of one of his bosses arrives : Sal Maroni. He’s charged with many things, and risks life in prison. He can’t allow that. And if he gotta kidnap a kid to blackmail the district attorney ? He’ll do it. He’ve done worst. Way worst. It’s what landed him behind bars really. 

And here you are, walking home, when all of a sudden, everything goes black...And you wake up in a warehouse, tied up tight. 

Your head hurts so much. Your temples are burning. A gun. The cold barrel of a gun is against your head, and someone says something you can’t understand. 

Everything is black again but...You’re not dead. You know that because you can still feel the ropes digging into your skin, and your headache getting worst. When the lights are back again all the men that were around are on the floor, blood smeared on their faces. And a figure. A huge and dark figure approaches you...Somehow, you know you don’t have to be scared. 

He cuts the ropes with a bat shaped knife, and you finally get a look at his face when he helps you up and...

-Bruce ? 

He freezes as his arms are around you, and slowly turns his head to look at you...

-H...How ? 

You just smile and shake your head, before adding : 

-But of course. It makes sense. You have the money, a motive and...I’m guessing this six years trip that changed your life was the training ? Of course...it makes sense...You’re the Batman. 

Even with his mask, and his eyes hidden, you can decrypt his surprised, stunned expression and you say : 

-I’d recognize your jaw anywhere Bruce. 

-...My jaw ? 

-Yup. Stared at it enough time to...

It’s your turn to freeze, as you realize what you just said. Your cheeks turn a cute shade of red and Bruce...chuckles ? 

-Stare uh ? Is that so ? It’s funny, I’m not much of a jaw person...More...lips...Oh my God could you please explain to me (Y/N) how whenever I’m around you, I turn into a total idiot ? How I can be smooth with any women but you ? How my brain turns to mush and...How ? 

What was he saying ? It couldn’t be. It was impossible. And yet...It’s true, that the link between you and him always been strong, ever since you were young children. It’s true you’ve always been able to comfort perfectly each other. It’s true...he whips you away, brings you back to the bat cave. 

Takes care of your wounds and...your hand is in his. And he squeezes it. It brings up so many pent up feelings, things you hid away in fear of rejection. 

Bruce has been home for two years, two years where you spend a lot of times together and...Could it be ? 

His lips on yours are an answer enough. 

************

Harvey doesn’t take it well. 

His BEST friend ? HOW COULD HE ? 

How could he takes away his sister’s purity like that ? You were the purest of them all, and he was soiling you by daring to date you. YOU ! 

He dated so many women, he broke the heart of more than one girl...how dare he try that on you ? 

Harvey felt betrayed. 

Bruce was taking you away from him, and he couldn’t be trusted because...What proved him that you weren’t just another one of his toy ?! 

His fist was bleeding from breaking a window with it. His forearm was in a pretty bad shape too. 

Harvey forgave Bruce for abandoning him all those years ago but could he forgive this ? Treason. That’s what it was. 

The living room table broke as he hit it repeatedly with all of his chairs...those broke too. As he was thinking about how his best friend’s arm was around you, earlier in the day, as you guys told him you were seeing each others...There goes the fridge, thrown down with all his might. He can hears everything in it breaking and shattering. Good. 

The toilet seat gets torn off, and the ceramic explodes as he got hold of a hammer and is beating the material with it. 

How dare he ? HOW DARE HE ?! 

His parents chest of drawers in his bedroom ? His hammer hits it violently, over and over and over again. 

How could he do that to him ? How could he take away his precious sister ? 

The chest of drawers is nothing but broken pieces of wood and splinters...

He’s about to attack the TV when his doorbell rings. 

Who could it be ? His shoulders are slightly hunched and his eyes have this dangerous air to them as he goes to open his door and...As he puts his head through the crack, hiding the battlefield that was his apartment, his features immediately soften.

You. It’s you. And without Bruce. And you’re asking him if he wants to come and grab a cup of coffee. You’re not gone yet, you’re still here...You’re still here. 

************

Bruce holds your hand, squeezing it lightly, and you squeeze back. It’s “your thing”. In tough times. Right before the hugs and kisses. The hand squeeze. It reminds you of better times. 

And oh you need it more than ever now. 

You just lost the one you always thought would be there for you. 

Besides Bruce of course, with whom you always had a special and unexplainable connection. But Bruce ? It almost does’t count, because what links the both of you is unbreakable. Between you and Bruce, as cheesy as it sounds, it’s true love. And nothing could ever alter that. 

But that other person, that other one you thought would always look over your shoulder ? He was gone now. 

Harvey wasn’t Harvey anymore. 

And the worst of it all ? You knew this would come one day or another. You knew that by penting up all his emotions inside him it would happen. That without help it would happen. And yet, you did nothing, just like nobody ever did anything for your father...

And he was gone. Harvey wasn’t Harvey anymore. 

He was Two-Face. 

************

It happened too fast, Bruce couldn’t be on time. He couldn’t. 

He tried to save him, but he was too late. 

Fields is the one that gave Sal Maroni the acid. Goddamn corrupted attorney. Now that Harvey was out of the picture, there would be more and more of those...But Bruce would be here. 

However, he wasn’t there for Harvey. Again. Too late...

His screams are piercing, gut wrenching. And your face..Bruce spots it amongst the crowd. You always came to all of Harvey’s important cases, to support him. You were always there, somewhere, so that in moments of doubts, he just had to turn around, look at you, and know that he was going to win this thing. 

Like today. He needed this strength. He turned towards you and...Burn. Everything burns. Maroni threw something on him. And Bruce was too late, again. He screams. 

Your fiancé (he proposed just over a few months ago, and Harvey was finally starting to be OK with this relationship...) spots you in the crowd. And your face makes him want to rush toward you, squeeze your hand, and hold you against his heart. 

Horror. Sadness. Distress. Terror. There’s so many feelings in your eyes. And your brother won't stop screaming...

Bruce doesn’t think, and takes Harvey to the nearest hospital. 

But it’s too late. He doesn’t know this yet, but his friend is long gone by now...

************

He wakes up the next day, in pain, and he already looks so different. He barely looks at you, though he reacts when you come close to him. He squeezes your hand...but not like Bruce. 

It’s not reassuring. It’s not nice. It’s rough and he puts something cold between your fingers...”Tail I win, Head you loose”. 

Your father’s coin. 

And when he slowly turns his head towards you...

************

It tears your heart apart to have to do such a thing but...it’s for his own good. 

You can’t have him turn into your dad. You can’t. After he came home from the hospital, it took you only two visits to his flat to know you had to do it. 

He yelled at you. He even slapped you...He regretted it right after, and hugged you but...He slapped you...for no reason but the fact that you came because you were worried, and he didn’t believe you. 

How could you be worried about him ? He was a monster now. 

You were glad you didn’t bring Bruce along, this too didn’t need to fight more...and you know Bruce would have punched him for even daring to raise his voice at you. 

You hug him back, though your cheek is burning, and you caress his back soothingly. 

It’s your brother. You’ll always be there for him. 

************

You don’t believe your now husband when he tells you but...the facts are in front of your eyes. There’s video evidence. 

It’s him. 

But it’s not at the same time. 

His shoulders are hunched, and though you can’t hear him speak, you know his voice is lower and rougher than it usually is...

Your brother, isn’t quite your brother anymore. 

************

You understand that Bruce has to catch him. But you convince him to let you try to convince him...which goes horribly. 

And it’s only there, in this moment, that you start to realize it. 

To realize he’s not himself at all. 

“Tail I win, head you loose”. That’s what he tells you. 

You told Bruce the stories, after he asked about the scars that littered your body. You told him about your father and his sickness. The “games” he’d play with you and your brother. And your husband doesn’t let it happen. 

As soon as he hears this words, he knows it’ll go wrong. 

“Head, you loose”. 

A knife. It’s a knife he has in his hand. And it’s heading toward your throat, even though you can see in his eyes a remnant of what he used to be and...he hesitates, right in front of your jugular. 

He looks at you. At how terrified you look. That’s how you used to gaze at your father...But, he wasn’t like him was he ? 

Pain. That’s all he feels now, and as the charred part of his face reminds him of that, he loose himself again and his knife is ready to hit you...But Bruce saves you.

It’s enough. It’s enough. He’s not him anymore. 

But you still have hopes. You still do. You will always have hope...

************

He was suppose to always have your back. And you his. 

And in a sense, you still do...but not in the way you wished. 

It’s all over the news. “Harvey Dent, famed and respected district attorney turns crazy, robs every bank in Gotham and kills dozens”. 

It’s often followed by : “His sister, (Y/N) Wayne, devastated”...You hate it. But they’re right. You are devastated. 

You have his back today, only, not like you wished. You’re sitting in the “public” area of Gotham’s court, witnessing your brother being accused of all the crimes he committed, each new accusations digging a knife deeper inside your heart.

His eyes lock on yours. And it’s not the love you’re used to see in them that you see right now, it’s not the benevolence and affection, his smile isn’t wide and true...It’s wicked, crooked, half. And his eyes are full of...You can’t even think about it. You can’t believe your brother feels that way about you...And yet. 

It is. It is hatred. Bruce would recognize this feeling anywhere. And today, his hand squeezing yours can’t do much for you. 

And as somehow, Harvey manages to gets free of his guardians and runs towards you, staring into your eyes, grabbing your shirt and just utters : 

-WHy did you left me (Y/N) ? Why did you abandon me ? Are you scared (Y/N) ? Do you want to put two bullets through my brain, like I wanted to do to dad ? Are you scared of me (Y/N) ? Are you ? ...Who are you ? WHO ARE YOU ?! 

With Bruce’s help, the guards get hold of him again, and take him away as his trial is over...But his screams will haunt you forever. “Who are you ?”, “you gave up on me”...It was a mix of him not even knowing who you were, and him only remembering you because you gave up on him. 

************

The ride back home to Wayne Manor was silent. Heavy. 

Until you say : 

-There’s nothing left of him, Bruce. Nothing. 

And he can only reach for the hand that is on your thigh, and squeeze it...You squeeze back, and look at him, surprised, as he obviously isn’t taking the road toward the mansion. 

************

Bruce parks the car on an almost empty parking lot. 

The docks. 

You’re on the docks. 

A place you, Bruce and your brother always loved to hang out (or rather, Bruce and Harvey hung out around, and you followed admiring their every move). 

Bruce takes your hand and leads you to one of your favorite place in Gotham. You’re weak in his arms as he wraps them around you, and you snuggle closer to him. Feeling his soothing warmth. 

You don’t exchange a word. You just stay together, there, in a place full of good memories, in each other’s arms, the wind masking your cries. 

-My brother is gone. There’s nothing left of him... 

Bruce keeps you in his arms. Tight. His face buried in your hair. Because he knows that, now, he’s the only one left that have your back. 

The only one left to support your every step. 

The only one left to love you...

The only one that would always be there, no matter what, and that by a single squeeze of his hand could make you feel better. 

Your brother was indeed no more. Nothing was left of his past self, but fleeting and terrible moments of clarity. The worst times of them all, when you went and visited him and he remembered...he remembered who he was. 

He remembered Harvey Dent, for a minute maximum usually. For a few seconds more often than not, and rarely nowadays, he would remember. He would know which one he was, not Two-Face, but Harvey Dent. He would ask for you, and most of the time, you wouldn’t be there because...You finally gave up. 

It was only a few seconds each time. And it happened so rarely. It was torture to witness those moments of clarity. He would ask you to kill him, to end his misery, to...And then he wouldn’t be himself again, and would either attack you or : “Tail I win, head you loose”. 

Arkham Asylum became a place where you never went anymore. Your husband did, to check on your brother, and your sons too, later...But you ? You couldn’t. 

You couldn’t handle it. He would never be back. No amount of medicine and support could bring him back. The day Sal Maroni threw acid on him was the end. It threw him over the edge, without one chance of getting back. It took you years to realize that and...eventually the promise you mad to each others was broken. 

It wasn’t his fault, he was sick, he wasn’t right in the head...He didn’t meant to give up on you. And you ? Who could blame you ? You couldn’t see him like this, you couldn’t see your beloved brother in such a state...

No one blamed you. Not even him, in his moment of clarity. Because he knew. He knew that most of the times : he was no more. 

There was nothing left of him. 

************

Years later, when Jason arrives in your home, you make sure to make him and Dick understand that brotherly love is important. That it means you always have someone to have your back. You make sure to teach your sons, all four of them, that they need each other, that they are stronger all together. 

Sure it wasn’t always easy, especially between your youngest, Tim and Damian but...ultimately, you knew they understood. You knew they knew you were right, and were proven so every night out there. It was such a comfort, to know that there would always be someone for them. 

You make sure they know how important this is, and you hope to every higher power in existence that they’ll never have to go through what you went through. To see one of the strongest and most important person in your life breaking. To look into their eyes and to find...nothing left of what they used to be. To realize half of the time they don’t even remember who you are. To know they’ll never be the same. They changed. Forever.

There is nothing left of the brother you once knew. Nothing. 

_____________________________

I fear this doesn’t make sense ? I had no idea where I was going with this initially, just kinda had the idea of Batmom being Harvey’s sister and...improvised...badly. Uh *resisting the urge to make a negative critic of her own work*. Realized it’s probably more about Harvey and reader than Bruce and reader and I’m sorry. 

[ellana-ravenwood]

Eighth time’s the charm - Clark Kent x Reader

Because I never can keep away from writing for long, even when I want a break, instead of posting something this week-end like I initially wanted, posting this today because it’s written now so...why not ? Erf, I’m resisting saying it’s “meh”, but it’s...Hum. Hope you’ll like it : 

Summary : Clark tries to propose to you. Turns out, proposing isn’t his forte.

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

________________________________________________

Turning and turning the ring between his fingers, he could almost feel it burning holes in his skin. His heart couldn’t stop from beating wildly in his chest, and he found himself, for the first time in his life, having trouble breathing properly. 

He could hear your heartbeat, amongst all the busy Metropolis’ city sounds, he could detect your particular heartbeat he loved so much, as you were coming home...And while your vital organ was pulsating calmly, his was throbbing crazily. 

It was all very silly really. He was the mighty Superman ! He protected the Earth from powerful threats. He already battled enemies that were stronger than him and pulled through. Hell he even held Batman’s glare once, until Bruce looked away, and that was a difficult task...So why was he so nervous right now ? 

Maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe you weren’t ready. Maybe it was just too big of a commitment but...Clark shook his head at his own “stupidity”. 

You’ve been together for almost ten years, you were living with each for over seven years. Hell, you even bought a house in the calm suburb of Metropolis ! Even bigger,  you were pregnant with his child, which was really the ultimate commitment right ? 

So why was he so afraid to just...pop the question to you ?

As he was trying to collect himself, trying to un-fog his mind, the answer came to him naturally. 

If he was that nervous right now, about asking you to marry him, it’s because all his previous attempt ended up in a big disaster. 

Five times, he counted. 

He tried to ask you five times before, without much success. 

*************

The first time was on your first year anniversary. Yeah ok, a year together wasn’t that long, but it was his longest relationship ever and, more importantly...He was in love with you. He loved you like he never loved anyone before. So of course asking you to marry him was just the natural thing to do. 

But then Bruce happened. 

Bruce Wayne, aka the Batman. Your older brother. It had already been super difficult to convince him to not intervene in your relationship with Clark. 

Because he was over-protective of you. You were so young when your parents died, you didn’t even remember them, and he became your role model instead of it being your father or mother. He vowed to always be there for you, to never let anyone hurt you, so of course, when you started dating his best friend...

At first, he tried to forbid you to see Clark, but you just laughed in his face and made out with Superman right in front of him. Damn you, your wits, and your stubbornness. 

Then he tried to separate you by inventing clever plans but...Dick ratted him out, and when you heard that all the problems you have had with your boyfriend lately, while so far it had been perfect, were your brother’s fault...Oh, all hell broke loose at Wayne’s Manor. You were scary when angry. 

That day, Clark made a mental note to never ever anger you. And Bruce decided that maybe it was ok for you and his best friend to be together. At least, he knew you were dating a good man. Bruce would never admit it, but the reason he gave up trying to break you and Clark up was because you scared him to death, when you got angry at him...

So he let it go. Didn’t mean he didn’t make a speech to Clark about breaking your heart. You know, the good old : “If you break her heart, I’ll break your neck after beating you to near-death with brass knuckles made out of kryptonite...Kryptonite knuckles”. 

Clark agreed to let him beat him near-death if he ever broke your heart, because it meant he wasn’t himself anymore, and that’d be dangerous. Because damn, he loved you too damn much to ever break your heart, and if he did one day, then it would probably under the influence of red kryptonite or something, and therefor, yes Bats, beat him to a pulp to knock some sense back in his head. 

However, it’s not because Bruce more or less accepted your relationship getting serious with his best friend, that he wouldn’t say what he thought about it. 

And so, when Clark arrived at Wayne’s Manor, well dressed, with flowers and all...Your brother immediately understood his intentions and simply said : 

-Really ? You’re going to ask her to marry you ? After barely a year ? You guys never even lived with each other yet. How do you know it’ll work once you’ll move in together ? Maybe you won’t stand each other. Besides, have you ever talked marriage with her ? Maybe she’s against it ! 

Even stoic and harsh Bruce felt guilty after saying that, and seeing his friend’s face drop. It went from the brightest smile, to a beyond sad look. But before he could apologize, you arrived, and took him away with you, smiling and laughing. 

Bruce still felt guilty about that day, remembering seeing his best friend hiding hurriedly the beautiful ring he picked up for you in his pocket, and fake smiling at your arrival. Remembering the way he looked at you with deep love, and sadness because of what he told him. And most of all, remembering the way even then, when your relationship was serious not since a long time, you were already way happier around him...

Because you were orphaned early on, your childhood hasn't always been happy. You didn’t take well the years Bruce spent training abroad, even if Alfred always been there to take care of you. And you hated, sometimes, his Batman persona, afraid he’d end up dead in a gutter one day. Besides, being a Wayne was a constant stress, as you always had to watch what you were doing and everyone had such high expectations of you ! There was often some kind of sadness and nostalgia about you, because of all of that. 

Always, but when you were with Clark. Oh when you were with him, Bruce almost had the impression you were a child again, before your parents died, before you started to understand they died, that you’d never see mommy and daddy ever again. Yes, when you were with Clark, Bruce could see your cheery four years old self again, and oh he missed that part of you...So yeah, he still felt guilty about scaring his friend that day. 

************

The second time Clark tried to ask you, it was a few weeks after you moved in together. Your house got blown out by Doomsday, and so did the ring he had hold on to for the past three years...he took it as a sign that maybe, he shouldn’t ask you to marry him just yet. 

Besides, he almost broke up with you that day, because he got afraid that he was putting your life in danger...Almost. Bruce brought him back to his senses. But the thought of marriage vanished for a while. 

*************

The third time, he took you out to a fancy place, planned everything, it was going to be so romantic ! But you got sick the day before and ended up in bed for two weeks straight with a bad case of pneumonia who almost killed you.

He got so afraid to loose you he simply forgot anything about marriage ! All that counted was you, being here, with him. He almost lost you, and to a stupid sickness at that...That would have been the worst. 

Oh he couldn’t loose you. He loved you too much. It’d tear him apart to loose you. And so, because his thoughts were plagued by that (especially after it was the second time he almost lost you !), marriage was out. 

**************

The fourth time, the League ruined it. 

Green Arrow and Black Canary were getting married, and everyone was so happy for them ! It made Clark want more than ever to marry you too, but of course, someone had to go ahead an ruin it. 

And for once, it wasn’t Bruce. 

Nope, it was J’onn J’onzz, aka The Martian Manhunter. Him and his stupid friendly question to you : 

-What do you think of marriage (Y/N) ? After all, you’re in a serious relationship too...

You just chuckled awkwardly, giving Clark a side glance, and said : 

-Hum...No. No I never thought of marriage. 

That was a lie. You often thought of marriage. Of hitching yourself forever to someone. More precisely, to a certain Clark Kent, that your guts were telling you was the love of your life. But unfortunately, he misunderstood what you said, thinking you didn’t wanna get married, and for the fourth time, he hid the ring he bought you at the bottom of his pocket. 

He couldn’t risk loosing you by asking you to marry him. What if you said no ? And left ? More in love with your liberty than with him ? No. He couldn’t risk it. 

**************

The fifth time, it should have had happened. 

It was your tenth years anniversary, and since his fourth attempt, you two had talked about marriage. He now knew you wanted it too. 

It was actually the cutest thing ever, when you told him, shyly, that you had thought often about marriage since you were with him. You were so afraid he would think you were silly...The sigh of relief you let out when he told you he thought about it too was the best sound he ever heard before. Well, right after your moans when he was making sweet love to you. 

Speaking of making love...The reason he never got to ask you this fifth time, was because another announcement made him forget everything. 

Pregnant. 

That’s what you told him you were. 

You were pregnant, and of course, it was his. 

The surge of happiness Clark felt  annihilated every idea of proposing to you that night. It just completely went out of his mind, as you two started to talk about your future baby ! It was a good thing that you bought a house with two extra bedrooms...

*****************

And so here he was, after five failed attempt at asking you to marry him, nervous as hell that something would come again and ruin everything. 

It had been almost nine months since his last attempt, and he just never got the chance or the time to propose again. Also, he kept chickening out because...Well five failed attempts ! That meant something right ? 

No, he thought. No it didn’t mean anything. He was just trying to find excuses because he was terrified to ask you a simple question. A question he was almost sure you were gonna say yes to ! 

He had to ask you. Tonight. 

And as he heard your key turn into the lock of the front door, his resolve was bigger than it ever had been. He stood up, and joined you to the entrance.

You were coming back, belly as swollen as ever as you were almost due, from a trip to town where you met with your brother for a lunch date. Clark was against it at first, wanting you to rest because, well, you were about to give birth to a baby ! But you and Bruce were always so damn convincing. 

And so you went. Alone. Though he kept an ear out for the two of you, just in case. 

Bruce took a helicopter back to Gotham, and you just arrived home. Perfect. It was time to finally ask you to marry him. But...Something was wrong. 

You almost collapsed in his arms when you entered your house, and Clark’s heart drop. You said weakly : 

-You were right about the lunch date. It was a bad idea. I...I think I’m in labor. 

***************

Damn you and your self-control. If he didn’t hear a change in your heartbeat, it’s because you put in practice years of training with your brother, and were able to have almost total control over your body. So when your water broke, while you were almost home, and you realized you were going to have a baby right now...you didn’t panic. Relaxed, you walked the few meters that separated you from your house and...Yeah, that was already enough. 

Clark, panicking, almost flew the two of you to the nearest hospital. But a very calm you told him it was probably a terrible idea to arrive flying to the hospital...and so you took the car. 

The twenty minutes separating you from the clinic were agonizing for Clark. He was so afraid for you and his baby...Even though you were the most relax woman about to give birth ever. You breathed evenly, and your face was almost emotionless. 

Almost, because you were smiling to your Clark to reassure him, and sometimes, the pain was too intense even for you, to hold back. Your grimace of pain made him so distressed...He was sure glad when you finally arrived to the hospital. 

***************

They didn’t let him go with you in the hospital room. They didn’t let him go with you in the hospital room ! WHY ?! Was something wrong ? Usually, dads could see their child being born right ? Be with their significant other to give them their support, a hand to crush because of the pain ? So why didn’t they let him go with you in the hospital room ? 

Bruce arrived shortly after you two. Of course, he knew. He was probably watching everything you did...But Clark would worry about that later. He was too worried about you right now !

For the first time since he started to date you, Clark got support from Bruce. 

Your brother stayed with him through the hours of your labor. Reassured him. Sometimes, everything was good and the father wasn’t allowed in the room. It happened. Some hospital didn’t allow them in the room, so it was probably alright. Yes. It was. Ok, some of Bruce’s words were also to reassure himself. 

He couldn’t loose his precious little sister, the only ray of sunshine in his dark life. 

If you died giving birth, two of the most famous superheroes would be too broken to save the World, that was something sure...

************

Four hours of agonizing wait. Four hours of insufferable doubts. 

When finally, a nurse came out. 

Clark was the father of a healthy baby boy, and he could come in. Bruce too, because he was close family. 

It didn’t take long for your hospital room to be swarmed with close friends and family. Clark’s mother, your (loud and excited) nephews, your brother, so many League members...You were exhausted, but the hospital people didn’t dare to tell your close friends and all to leave because they just learned you were the famous (Y/N) Wayne. They’d do whatever you wanted. especially since your very handsome brother, Bruce Wayne, one of the most powerful man in the USA, was also there. 

You were glad when they all left. All but Clark. 

The ring in his pocket was heavy, but he was ready to finally ask you. It was the perfect moment, with his son, Jonathan Thomas Kent, in his arms, and you looking lovingly at the both of them...But you fell asleep. 

Seven. That was his seventh attempts. 

*************

You woke up late the next morning. Clark was there, his baby son in his arms, melting for the small boy. 

The sound your son made, the way he already cooed at his father even though he was just a few hours old...Oh man, you already loved him so much. You were about to say something, but Clark, who didn’t notice your eyes were open, talked to little Jon : 

-I didn’t realise it would be like this. You know what kid I love your mother like I never thought it was possible to love another person, but hell we’ve not even known you longer than 24 hours and I know I’d give up the world for you...Even though you ruined my attempt at proposing to your mother. I tried seven times you know, it’s getting old ! 

-Wh...What did you say ? 

Your still tired voice startles your boyfriend, and he looks at you almost as if you were the most powerful threat he ever faced. 

-Hum...That I loved you more than I ever loved anyone. 

-After that. 

-That I love our son to death. 

-After that. 

-...That I was about to propose to you ?

-For the...seventh time ? 

-It’s a long story. 

-You’ll tell me after. 

-After what ?

-After you properly propose, you big idiot. 

Your smile, though still a bit weak because you were quite exhausted, made his heart flutter. And in a perfect timing, your son made the cutest noise ever, and it was enough to fill Clark Kent with happiness. More than he ever felt.

He went to put baby Jon carefully in his crib, and, with a last kiss to his forehead, went to you. 

He reached down in his pocket, and put a knee on the floor...

Your nephews bursting out in the room, followed by your brother who was scolding them about being loud, stops him before he can ask. Oh he has enough. He turns around, and the glare he gives your family members is so frightening that they cower backward a little bit. 

Wow, what got into sweet uncle Clark right ? 

Even Damian got afraid. Hell, even Bruce ! 

You chuckle lowly, and turn his head back to look at you. His features soften, and, caressing his cheek lovingly, you say : 

-Eighth time’s a charm. 

He laughs, and under the very confused gaze of your nephews and brother, after seven damn failed attempt, Superman finally asks : 

-(Y/N) Wayne, would you marry me ? ...Please. 

You leave a dramatic pause that’s killing him. Your family hold their breath. Until finally...

-Yes. 

And with that, they all burst out in cheers...But silently, as they realized Jonathan was asleep. It was very funny, to see even your brother hug your future husband, in utter silence, trying to not make any noise though they were all so happy. 

You looked down in the crib where your son was deeply and peacefully asleep and...yes. Yes this moment was definitely ranking at best moment in your life ever. 

Looking at the sky, you thought about your parents for a bit. You then looked at your brother, and his genuine happiness for you made your heart sing. You wished you could see him like that every day. The hug your nephews gave you were the warmest ever, especially Dick’s. 

And your Clark. Oh your Clark. The joy shining on his face, the pride he had whenever he looked at his son etc etc...You could never regretting telling him “yes”. 

The end ? 

Erf. MEEEEH. Could have been better. Damn. 

[ellana-ravenwood]

Like Father, Like Daughter - Kakashi Hatake x Reader

Summary : The death of your father hits you full force right in the face, and you don’t think you’ll ever be able to feel ok again...Fortunately for you, a certain Copy Ninja is here to try and cheer you up the best he can. 

Well, I thought I’d just jump into it. Something completely unrelated to DC/Mavel, a bit of love for Kakashi from the anime “Naruto”...I just really wanted to write this piece with the scarecrow. Tell me if you want more of those (I’ve been binge watching Naruto, One Piece and Full  Metal Alchemist particularly lately so...send request about that if you wanna) I’m really REALLY unsure about that one...But hey, I’m posting it anyway. Hope you’ll like it : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

________________________________________________

-Go fuck yourself you fucking stale baguette !!

...Stale baguette ? Where were you even finding your insults ? How was he suppose to punish you for using bad words when you were being so damn hilarious ? Stale baguette. He had to remember that one. 

Jiraiya looked at you tenderly. You. His daughter. A daughter he never even should have had. His daughter than never let anyone walk on her feet. His small little baby girl...who was already sixteen. Where have the years gone ? 

He was staring at you, his eyes full of awe and love, as usual, and couldn’t help but think you looked a lot like your mother right now, mad as Hell and ready to kick some ass. 

Your mother. Tsunade. The only woman he ever truly loved (though he’d never admit it, as the love was unrequited...or so he thought). Most people were quite...surprised to say the least, when they learned that you were the biological daughter of the two famous sennin, Jiraiya, and Konoha’s fifth Hokage, Tsunade Senju. 

You were the result of a very drunken night of passion, the only one they shared...It was Dan’s (your mother “only love”) anniversary of death, and she felt particularly bad. So she went out to drink her sorrow away, and your father went with...The rest is history. 

Nine months later, you were there, a surprised to both of them, but one they gladly accepted. They had a lot of flaws, those two, but being bad parents wasn’t one of them. 

You lived in Konoha until you were six, until your “Uncle” Orochimaru turned dark, betrayed the village, and your parents’ were too heartbroken to stay. Your life was shared between them. A few months with your dad, a few months with your mom...And you loved it. 

Ruffling your hair mischievously, your father lets out a loud laugh and says : 

-You’re a terrible flirt. Not as in you do it too often, as in, you’re bad. Like, really bad. Soooooooo bad.

-Yeah I know ! Like father, like daughter right ? 

-I don’t think I ever called anyone a “fucking stale baguette” while trying to flirt with them...How did that even come up ?

You shake your head vigorously, you have no idea how you ended up insulting the guy you were flirting with...Was it because he kept making stupid remarks about your boobs ? Or maybe your ass ? You couldn’t even remember, that’s how important to you it was. Yeah, you definitely couldn’t care less.

-No, but remember that time you waited an entire day in the public onsen just to see naked women ? 

-...Point taken. 

-Aren’t you suppose to scold me for using bad words anyway ?

-...If I buy you your favorite flavored popsicle, will you shut up and not tell anything to your mother ? 

-Buy me two and we have a deal.  

-Deal.

You nod, and he puts a protective arm around your shoulder (as a reflex, because if he was honest with himself, he knew you didn’t need protection...You were your parents’ daughter, a very powerful kunoichi, bound to even surpass them one day), his giant frame dwarfing your small one...That, you took from your mother. 

It was moments like that that you loved the most with your father. Just silly time with your big idiot of a dad. You two had always been close, ever since the moment you were born. He swore, the first time he held you in his arms, that he would never let anything happen to you...He just didn’t plan on leaving you so soon...

*****************

You woke up from this pleasant dream with a start...And wished you could go back to sleep and dream some more about good times you spent with your dad. You wished you could just control your dreams, and see him whenever you wanted when you were asleep...Damn you missed the fool so much.

You would give anything to be sixteen again, to be back those eight years ago, in a random city you forgot the name off, eating two popsicle on a bench near a river, looking at the sun going down, talking with him about anything. He always was a good listener, and the conversations you shared were always the best.

Was. Using the past tense to speak about him tore a whole in your chest. 

Your father was dead. 

Killed by an ex-student of his, that was now dead..and that you couldn’t blame because you understood his pain. Besides, he amended himself, bringing back to life many people from Konoha (including a certain copy ninja on which you had a massive crush since you were a child). 

And you couldn’t help but think it was your fault. Because you weren’t with him. Maybe with your added force, he could have survived...or you could have died instead of him. But he refused for you to come with him. 

You think he knew. He knew he wouldn’t come back. It was in the way he said goodbye to you, in the way he bid his farewell to your mother...it was different than usual. He knew he wouldn’t come back...

After a week of his absence (you moved back to Konoha when you were 18, and were so glad your mother became Hokage, like that you could see her often...and your father also came home more often because of it), you felt your heart ripped apart and just knew what happened instantly...

The bond that linked you to him was broken. Your father was dead. 

Your mother felt it too, and you fell in her arms, crying for hours...She held you against her heart, and you knew she suffered as much as you. Because you knew since you were a chid that they were both in love with each other, but were too damn proud to ever admit it. Such a shame...Because now, he was gone. 

You would never see him again. Talk to him, about anything and everything. Joke with him. Scold him for his inappropriate behaviors. He would never again buy you a popsicle so you wouldn’t tell something bad he did (or made you do) to your mom. You would never hear his laugh again. His hand would never go through your hair, ruffling them lovingly again...Your father was dead. 

Lost forever. 

You couldn’t sleep anymore, even with the prospect of a possible pleasant dream about a memory with your father, you simply couldn’t sleep.

You checked your alarm clock. 4 am. You had to wake up in two hours to go on a mission...no point in trying to fall back asleep. 

You decided to go see your dad. You slipped some close on, and left, your thought unable to detached themselves from the man you lost...

******************

The stone of heroes. 

Where the name of everyone who fell in combat was carved in. It was a lot of people. Your father’s name was on it, carved bigger than a lot of the other names...Of course it would be carved bigger. He was awesome. 

You sad down on the cold floor in front of it, and caressed the stone lightly. 

-I miss you so much dad...

A twig cracking behind you startles you, and as fast as lightning, you turn around, kunai out, ready to fight. 

Kakashi. It’s only Kakashi. As your gaze meet his only visible eye, you realize he’s exactly the person you want to see right now...

Kakashi was older than you. Eight years your senior. The fact that you were close from Jiraiya, meant that you became close from Minato as well, the famous Yondaime Hokage...which in consequence, also meant you ended up seeing Kakashi a lot. Not that you minded. At all. 

You always had a huge crush on him. How could you not ? He was brilliant, both in combat and intelligence, funny, witty, mysterious, compassionate...He went through a lot. His father’s suicide, his best friends’ death (feeling guilty forever because of it) etc etc...He suffered from a lot of mental pain, and the only thing you wanted to do was to hold him in your arm and tell him everything will be ok. But he only saw you as a little sister. 

You were sure of it. After all, eight years was quite a gap, and most of all, he rarely let anyone come close to him ever since Rin died. Especially not relationship was. The man had a lot of flings, one night stands...but an actual relationship ? No. Because he still felt guilty about the fact that he did not return Rin’s feelings. And he couldn’t handle the pain of loosing someone else...he told you himself. You became friends, against his better judgment, hell, best friends, but it never went further...He wouldn’t allow it. 

-Hey. 

His voice. You always found his deep low voice soothing. He could read something stupid (like one of your father’s awful smutty book) and you’d still think it’s the best thing ever. 

-Hey Kakashi-kun...

-You’re up early.

-So are you. 

-I didn’t went to bed yet. 

-Ah. 

There a silence. Not an awkward one, not at all. He approaches you, and you stand up, turning your body to face him. You’re close, but not as close as you with and...you feel guilty. Thinking about that in front of the stone of heroes. How disrespectful. 

So you look away from him, turn away from him, making the distance between the two of you bigger and...Was it a hint of disappointment and hurt you saw in his eyes as you were doing so ? No. No more wishful thinking about him seeing you in any other way than a friend. Especially not here, not now. 

-How...How are you holding up ? 

He asks shyly, unsure of your reaction. 

-I’m...alright. It’s...It’s how life goes I guess.

-Doesn’t make things any less painful. 

-No, it doesn't right ? 

Kakashi always found the right words to make you feel better. Always. Or maybe it was because you liked his voice so much... 

-I know how it feels. Believe me (Y/N), I do. If I can do anything for you I...

-No Kakashi, you don’t. You don’t know. 

He’s about to retorque something, to tell you his father too died, but you don’t let him speak.

-You don’t, because your case was much worst. You were a child. Whose father...decided to end his own life. Everyone was telling you that your dad was a scumbag...It’s completely different. You suffered much more. My dad died “a hero”, if that means anything...Everyone gave me their condolences and shit like that...While you ? You just suffered way more Kakashi. You shouldn’t feel bad for me. 

At your words, you can see conflicted feelings going through his eyes, the only part of his face you could see (the other hidden behind his famous mask). Pain, relief, gratefulness, sadness, love...love ? Uh. Don’t get your hopes high. Love for his father, probably. 

He close the gap between you two and...Take you in his arms. 

You are stunned. It’s the first time he does that...Well, that’s not really true. There was once, on a mission long ago, where you got hurt pretty badly, where he carried you in his arms all the way to Konohagure. But it was different. He was trying to save your life. While here...His soft voice brings you back to reality : 

-It’s not because my pain seems greater that you cannot feel any. It’s not because you think I suffered more that I can’t feel bad for you. Please, stop. It’s not the first time you say something like that. You always put your own suffering away, because you think I had it worst than you and...

-But you had it worst than me. 

-Let me finish please (Y/N). Let me finish. 

His embrace tighten around you, and because of the height difference, your head buries itself in his chest. You can feel one of his hand caressing your back up and down soothingly...and your heart drop. Not because of the affectionate gesture from the man you loved, but because your father used to do that to you whenever you had a nightmare, or whenever you felt bad...You feel your tears welling up in your eyes, but resist. 

-I never saw you cry. Not even when you lost your friends, just like I did. Not even when you got tortured for months by a hostile village that wanted informations on Konoha. Not even when Minato-sensei, whom I know you considered your big brother died. Not even whenever your parents left Konoha, and you stayed behind. Not even in plenty of other occasions that should have take a toll on your mind. You never allow yourself to cry, because you think other people have it worst than you. I heard you that time, telling Naruto nothing in your life compared to his miserable childhood, though plenty of things do. You always think you’re not allowed to be sad...But you’re wrong. You went through a lot too. And even if you didn’t, you’re allowed to feel sorrow. It’s not because people suffered more, than your sufferings mean nothing. I wish you would understand that...Because seeing you swallowing all of your feelings down is killing me slowly. And please, please believe me, because you can’t even imagine how hard it is right now to tell you all of that. I’m not good with words...Never been. But for you, I’ll always make the effort...

What ? What was he saying ? You pull away from his embrace, so you could see his face, but he doesn’t let go off you completely. In the only eye you can see, there is so many different emotions...it makes your heart swell. 

-You just lost your father. I know how it feels. So let it go...let it all go...

Kakashi. He always had the right words to make you feel better. People thought he was just a nonchalant guy and all, but he was...Oh he was so much more. He was compassionate, nice, hilarious, passionate, faithful, he had principals that he’d never betray...He was the best. 

And as you thought about the fact that you would never see your father again, as everything truly sinked in, his arms around you gave you the opportunity, for the first time in your life, to weep. To truly cry, as you rarely did. Actually, the only time you did was with your mother, when you both felt your dad die...

Here, in your best friend’s arms, in the man you loves’ arms, you finally let go. 

You don’t know how long you two stay like that, in each others’ arms. You don’t know for how long you ball your fist in his shirt, wetting it with your tears, your face buried on his chest...Until finally, you calm down. 

****************

-Are you feeling better ?

-Yes Kakashi. Thank you. 

-It’s ok. Anything for the one I love. 

-...Uh ? What did you just say ? 

-Anything for the ones I love. 

-Oh...

Short silence. Your both sitting in front of the stone of heroes, your head on his shoulder, one of his arm around yours. He breaks the silence : 

-I lied. 

-Mm ? 

-I lied. Just now. I didn’t say for the oneS. I said for the one. 

Your heart skip a beat. What ? You find yourself speechless, for the first time in your life. You usually always have a witty or sarcastic answer (you got that from your wonderful mother). His arm around your shoulder twitch a bit, and you can hear his breathing stopping.  

-I...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so forward. You must think I’m a dirty old man, after all you’re young and...Hum. I’m sorry. I just...I just want you to feel better. God. Sorry I’m such a fool. I...when you’re around it seems I can’t formulate coherent thoughts. 

What was he saying ? You were confused. How could it be ? Was he...Was he in love with you ? The loss of his warmth alarm you, and you realize he’s slipping away from you. He’s already on his feet apologizing profusely to you, about to leave...but you’re not about to let him. You raise too. 

-Wait ! Don’t be sorry. 

-No really, I am. I...I don’t know what got into me I...

-Don’t be sorry, because I want the one I love too feel good too...

-Uh ? 

-...I...I always kinda had a crush on you, Kakashi. I guess in recent years, it turned into...more than that. 

In an instant, all trace of worry disappear from his face, to be replaced by relief. And something else. Love. Love, for you. Not for his father. 

He brush a few fingers on your cheek, awkwardly, and you both just stand there, in front of each other, not really knowing what to do next...You decide to take the first step. Just like your dad would. Like Father, like Daughter...you just hoped that your first step wouldn’t end up being like his : with you being slapped by Kakashi. 

Slowly, making sure he can stop you whenever he wants, you raise a slightly shaky hand to his mask...You saw his face once, a long time ago, when you got badly hurt and he did CPR on you, but it was all blurry...Your heart raced at the mere thought of finally seeing what he looked like. 

He doesn’t stop you when you slip two fingers inside the mask, and slowly pull it down. 

His nose, his mouth, the little beauty mark he has bellow his lower lip...He’s handsomer than you imagined. 

He lets you do it. He even lets you take his headband off too, so that you could see his entire face. His eye holding the sharingan is close, and...It’s instinctive. You don’t think. You just do it. You feel the urge to kiss it. His scar. 

You go on your tip-toes, because he’s quite taller than you, and, hands on each side of his face, he bends his head slightly, automatically as well. 

Your lips on the side of his forehead, where the scar begins, make him shiver. Your second kiss, a bit more down the scar sent his arms to wrap themselves around you. The third time your lips comes in contact with his scar, it’s on his eyes, and he sighs contentedly. The fourth is on his cheek...the fifth dangerously close from his mouth...

He cannot stop himself. His arms are around you and bring you flushed against his body, as his mouth find yours. 

The kiss is sweet and full of promises. He understands you, and you get him. It has always been the case. 

The kiss is passionate and full of love. If your father could see you right now, he probably wouldn’t say “you’re a bad flirt”, but “Good job my little one, good job...now Hatake, get away from my daughter”. The thought makes you smile in the kiss, and you feel suddenly better than you have in the past month since your dad passed away. 

Kakashi always had the right words to make you feel better. And apparently, his tongue wasn’t just good to speak...damn he was a good kisser. 

Finally, you pull away from each others, and he utters those three magical words you longed to hear from him : 

-I love you (Y/N), and after I kiss you again, I’ll tell you one more time, I’ll tell you how much I’ve loved you for a long time, how I feared you’d think I was too old, how I craved your presence, running “accidentally” into you often on your days off, how...how many things. I just love you. 

-I love you too Kakashi...So much...

He kisses you again, more eagerly than before if that was possible, and the way his hands caress your body makes you think of something...you blush at the thought, but you have to say it. It would be what you father wanted. Most definitely, damn that man was...well, nothing but awesome. 

You pull away from Kakashi, and he groans, trying to catch your mouth with his again, but you speak before he can : 

-Oh, which makes me think...In case anything would happen to my father he...He prepared a few things for me to take care of. 

-Uh ? 

-He...He gave me his notes for his next book. For some reasons, he wanted me to continue his work. To write the next icha-icha paradise. I said yes of course...I wasn’t really expecting him to be gone so soon though...What I mean is, now, with you, I have one more reason to continue his book. To finish it. According to him, I’m quite a decent writer...

Kakashi’s face illuminates, a large smile spreading across his features, and he takes you in his arms again, kissing you a bit roughly. When he pulls away, cupping your cheeks lovingly with his hands, it’s to say : 

-I knew you were the one. I just knew it. I love you, (Y/N). Now and forever. 

FIN. 

PS : It’s shit isn’t it ? Erf. Well I tried. Sorry it’s so long as well. I wanted to write something with Kakashi so bad that it might not be of the best quality...Well. Yeah. I tried. Sorry. As you can see, I was very unsure about that one...mainly cause I usually write about Marvel or DC characters so you know...anyway, THANK YOU FOR READING UNTIL HERE.