#Gremlin x Ken

[goddessofwaifus]

Double trouble

After lots of thinking and some brainstorming, I'm making another fic here. I need something to do.

The following fic contains: Black air force energy menaces (you and Mikey duh) , throwing hands, reader uses they/them pronouns, Draken is definitely getting double the headaches after this one. Give this poor guy a break.

Trigger warning ⚠️

Mentions of stabbing, and s3xual assault 😥

Edit: both dividers by @benkeibear

If having one dangerous delinquent leader with equally threatening gang members wasn't enough, try giving this little shit an equally dangerous partner in crime besides Draken.

It's a given that Draken and Mikey are Toman's Captain and vice Captain as well as their danger duo. More often than not, Draken has to babysit Mikey and he's a headache on his own when the trump card of Toman decides to be a brat. Sure, they're all crazy and a gang to be fucked with. But then you come along and now Draken has two menaces to Shibuya to deal with. This is where the headaches and irritation begin.

It all began when you were working part-time at a diner in Shibuya. You only took the job because you needed money to pay for food and the basic necessities back at home and the pay was decent enough. Maybe you could save enough to buy a bike so you could finally stop taking the bus and have transportation of your own to get to school. Annoying as the customers were... Especially the ones with the rowdy kids who fling food everywhere, scream at the top of their lungs, run around the small building and nearly trip the staff with their playing, and just overall cause a disturbance in an otherwise nice homey establishment... You put up with it when your coworkers couldn't. You needed to get the bag, your bike was riding on this so you swallowed any irritated thoughts and choice words you had for the careless parents and their equally carefree children to get your paycheck. Then they come in.

A pair of blonde boys your age came in and were guided to a booth by the window. A tall boy with most of his hair tied back in a single braid, both sides of his head shaved with a dragon tattoo on his left temple that reached down towards his neck. He was wearing a black jacket with white and black diamonds adorning the front and back,a white button up shirt and baggy black pants. With him,he brought his shorter blond friend in a green jinbei. <- (Notes at the bottom of this fic) The former wore boots while the latter wore sandals.

You lost count of how many customers you served that day, but you did serve the two blonde middle school boys their food. You were stopped by the short boy before you could leave.

"I can't eat this without the flag! It's not a meal without the flag! It won't be fun to eat!"

He whined, pouting like a petulant child while the taller braided teen across from him sighed in annoyance. You found the pout on his face to be adorable and couldn't help but heed to his childish request for a flag, putting a red flag in the kid's meal for the boy. The pouting turned into child-like excitement as his naturally cold black eyes sparkled with exuberance. The dragon tatted male raised an eyebrow and opened his eyes to see there was a flag now in the meal for his childish friend, one he didn't have to fish in his jacket to stick in it to quiet him down. He didn't know why he was so adamant about a flimsy little flag in his meal, but whatever shut him up would do.

He couldn't deal with the tantrum... Not when he already knew the routine for every visit to the place. He'd order the same kid's meal, demand a flag if they forgot, he'd put one in to shut down the pouting, his friend would eat, and finally fall asleep right after to leave the aggravated teen with no choice but to carry him out piggyback style after paying for the food.

"Thank you so much...Y/n!"

The now sated little menace grinned as he dug into the meal, messy as he ate. You simply giggled to yourself, noticing as the taller one of the two nodded a thank you in your direction. Apparently this was something his friend did often if there wasn't a flag in his kid's meal here. It didn't bother you as long as he didn't fling the food in his fit or start causing too much of a scene. If he did that, there would definitely be a problem and you'd most likely fight the little shit.

"I'm Draken btw. This little hellspawn is Mikey and I apologize if he causes any more trouble with you and anyone else who works here. Why are you working here anyway?"

You needed the money for a bike. You were tired of taking the crowded bus to and from school, giving perverted boys ample opportunities to grope or pinch you with the excuse of "trying to reach for their bag" or "picking a speck of dirt or debris from your uniform" in the little space there was available on the vehicle. You had enough and you'd be damned if it happened again because if it did... Someone was gonna get put in an ambulance and there was no damn way it would be you. Draken shook his head as Mikey wasn't fast asleep for once after eating and perked his head up to listen.

"You look familiar... You sit 2 seats ahead of me on the right! You're working here for a bike? What kind? A regular manual bike? A motorcycle?"

Hearing the name Mikey had widened your eyes a bit. The invincible Mikey? The Mikey with a roundhouse kick so nasty you'll definitely be comatose if he kicked hard enough? Leader of the up and coming Tokyo Manji Gang? Why would he recognize you though? It hit you then that you went to school with him and he was often fast asleep in class. You admit you're slightly jealous he can act the way he does with teachers and get away with it when they wake him up. The perks of being a delinquent you guess. You wanted to be one too but you're a bit indecisive about fully committing to the lifestyle.

Something light but fast enough to get you from the complex you live in to the campus quicker than the crappy bus was the motorcycle you were looking for. Mikey nodded in thought and snapped his fingers at the perfect bike for you.

"My big bro owns a bike shop! It's called S.S. motors. I could ask him if he could make a bike for you with the parts he has on hand if you'd like?"

You didn't think your eyes could get any wider before you nodded in agreement to the suggestion. If it were possible for him to do that, you could pay for it and finally have transportation of your own.

"Do you know how to ride?"

Draken watched you nod your head to his question. When the two left, Mikey was sure to keep his eyes open for you at school to discuss everything he'd need to tell his brother at the shop. This would soon turn into eating lunch together, studying together, hanging out after school, and even riding on the back of his CB250T wherever you guys were going. In no time, you two were just as close as he and Draken were when they were younger. You found yourself interested whenever Mikey talked about all the bikes Shin had in his shop and passing on his knowledge of motorcycles to you.

It was when your birthday rolled around (Mikey wanted it to be a surprise) that you finally got your bike and what a beauty it was. All shiny and new, polished and sleek in (f/c) with (hl/c) [highlight color] along the sides. You looked at Mikey who only gave you a big ol grin as he wished you happy birthday. Shinichiro gestured for you to get on and try it out for the first time. In the time Shinichiro took to fix it up and put the finishing touches to your ride, Mikey introduced you to all of Toman and the remaining founding members of the crew. He helped train you to fight and with enough honing your fighting skills, you became part of Toman too. Not just as a friend but as an official member with your very own uniform.

You would be Mikey's partner in crime and every delinquent gang that came face to face with Toman, they would soon learn that you and Mikey are a danger combo. Where Mikey has his lethal roundhouse kicks, you have deadly punches and equally devastating force to kick someone out of commission. The invincible Mikey and the merciless Y/N. The judge and the executioner.

Mikey had rode in the back of your new bike with you, guiding you between cars as you zoomed down the road. When everyone saw your new ride, they cheered and praised your new set of wheels. Whooping and checking out your bike as you sat at the front,proud to finally have a motorcycle of your own instead of back seating with Mikey or anyone else. To celebrate your birthday and your new wheels, you rode down the streets of Shibuya with Toman in tow. Shinichiro and his buddies; Wakasa, Takeomi, and Benkei joined the birthday ride along with the rest of Toman. You could truly call that night the best time you've ever had. All thanks to a coincidental meeting at your part-time job with your classmate and him volunteering to ask his big brother to make a bike for you. You're glad you complied with his childish request for a flag in his omurice otherwise you wouldn't be where you are now.

However,with the power dynamic between you and Mikey, it posed another headache for poor Draken. Not only did he have to look after his child of a commander, he also had to rein you in too. Most times, you were completely under control and needed no supervision or intervention from him, but with time in Toman, that slowly changed. Now fully committed to the delinquent lifestyle, no longer needing as much help to kick ass alongside your gang mates in your goal to create a new age for delinquents and gangs alike, you had become an absolute menace just like your captain. If you weren't murder walking <- (note 2) beside Mikey, you were often beating the shit out of a bully picking on someone or fighting alongside the other captains when a rival gang tried to intimidate your gang members into submitting defeat.

Absolute demons, Draken would say as he's dragging you and Mikey away from some kid who thought it would be funny to test his luck because you were harmless and Mikey was below average height. The boy wasn't laughing after Mikey kicked him to his knees and you knocked him out cold with a ruthless knee to the head. Let it be known that you hated being seen as weak and Mikey had an honest to God hatred for being looked down on for his height in both the literal sense and in terms of everyone's "Height= strength" argument. He's not called The Invincible Mikey for nothing. You didn't gain your title out of nowhere just the same. You both earned the names other gangs labeled you two under. It was proof of your rep and his in the era of delinquents Mikey wished to create. It wasn't something for other kids to scoff at or look down at either of you for. Draken however had to step in to keep the both of you from killing the kid or putting him in the ER at least.

While you two were struggling to get free from his grasp, he hit you both over the top of the head to shut you up. He was not having it and Mitsuya could tell when he spotted the two of you giving the angry grumble and the death stare. Not just babysitting one rowdy little demon but a second one who seemed just as aggressive. This would become more apparent after the leader of Moebius barged into the warehouse with 50 other members coming in behind him in their cherry red jumpsuits.

"Moebius this, Moebius that. I'd much prefer if you kept our name outta your mouths... You little rats."

Their leader smirked as he combed his hair back with a lit cigarette between his cocky lips. You couldn't help but visibly cringe at his attitude and face. How was a dude like that cool? Then you remembered what Haruki said at the meeting the other night. This cocky ass clown was the guy who beat pah's friend and then proceeded to defile his girlfriend in front of him as well as letting his men have turns... Then ,to rub salt and lemon juice into an already open wound, they went and beat his family. Suddenly the cringe boiled into rage and disgust towards the blonde in the jumpsuit in front of you. Osanai then turned his head your way and smirked while his men were taunting the boys and wolf-whistling at you also.

"See somethin' ya like~? That little feisty look in your eyes is adorable! Ya gonna bite me?"

You only scoffed and then proceeded to laugh in his face at his attempt to show off in front of his crew. You'd snap your own neck before you gave this guy even a millisecond of your time. You didn't like guys like him, they made you sick and you personally wished that all men like him would just die. The world would be slightly better with less garbage taking up space. Mikey however didn't like the fact that their leader even tried to shoot his shot with you, but he did have a smile of satisfaction when you threw a laugh of disgust in response.

"They don't go for guys like you. The matter isn't needing someone more mature. You can't even make that argument with what you've done with your guys. So, much like you want us to keep your name outta our mouths... Why don't ya do the same and keep your comments to yourself?"

You then doubled down and spat near Osanai's boot, sneering at him when he frowned at the response. Apparently Takemichi was looking at him wrong which provoked Osanai to boxing him until Pah blocked his next punch and pushed the barely conscious Hanagaki aside. This was his fight after all and he'd be damned if this bastard got away with what he had done to his friend. You, Draken, Takemichi, and Ryohei were ordered to sit back and watch a losing fight between Pah and Osanai who was clearly playing with his food. When Pah finally went down and Mikey caught him, you gently set Pah on the ground with your jacket as a pillow for his head. Mikey couldn't corral you in a situation like this so he didn't tell you to stay back when you walked beside him towards Osanai. Words were spoken but they didn't matter since you and Mikey took turns kicking the arrogant ignoramus in the head until his face was black and blue.

You glared and the new recruits under Moebius were shaking as you smirked. You looked like the devil and Draken had to smack you upside the head to settle you before you both heard the once downed Osanai running at you and Mikey. You were quick to shield him, Draken being quick to his feet to catch and disarm Osanai who dropped his broken beer bottle weapon after being introduced to Draken's knee in the gut.

"The only reason why you guys lost to us was because you strayed from the true delinquent's path...We know you molested a young woman and went on to attack her boyfriend's family. You're nothing but a piece of shit. If any of you do anything fucked up like that again, we'll hunt you down and kill you ourselves! Your leader is done because Mikey and Y/N kicked his ass! Any of you got a problem with that?! "

Your face morphed into that of a sadistic sociopath. Truly befitting of the executioner. If they had a problem with Draken or Mikey, they'd answer to you and your curb stomping boots. You giggled with sadistic glee as you grinned at the now terrified men of the newbies joining Toman.

"If you give my captain or his number 2 any issues, you'll be answering to me~ I have no qualms with rearranging your faces with my boot... It surely won't be the first time I stomped someone's face in with my heel. So make no mistake, don't underestimate me, my captain or his second in command. I'll make you regret it, got it?"

The once cocky boys trailing behind Osanai were now shitting bricks. They couldn't argue with Draken and they certainly wouldn't argue with you either. You nodded to Draken with a satisfied look on your face as he proceeded to speak while holding Osanai by the arm.

"In that case, Moebius will now belong to the Tokyo Manji Gang!"

You stretched as you popped your back, ready to get out of this dusty ass warehouse until you noticed that Pah was missing from the spot you and Mikey had laid him in. You looked around, but were a second too late to warn Draken as Pah drove his hidden switchblade into Osanai's side. The situation had went from a sweet victory to a bitter one as the result of the conflict ended with some of the men from Moebius being caught by the police as everyone began to scatter per protocol for gang brawls. Pah owned up to his mistake made in blind rage and vengeance to turn himself in much to Mikey's and Peh's disapproval. You didn't like the idea much either,but better he realizes the consequences of his actions than run from them like a coward.

Your group ran with a bitter taste in your mouths,unable to savor the victory of gaining more men in Toman. The next guy down was Takemichi and you were quick to run to retrieve his now unconscious body with Mikey following right behind. Today went from 0 to 100 way too fast for you to catch it and you wish you could have to stop the shit storm that would soon take form...

What was the point of celebrating if there was gonna be a divide in the group behind Pah's choice to turn himself in over keeping the gang together?

Notes

Jinbei- A traditional set of Japanese clothing worn by men, women, and children during the summer. It consists of a jacket like top with a rope to tie it closed and slits along the sleeves for ventilation as well as matching shorts or pants based on preference. They're usually worn for summer festivals like the festival they had the night of the Moebius v Toman brawl on August 3rd. It's the outfit that Mikey was wearing and it's traditionally paired with geta sandals. They can also be worn as pajamas.

Murder walking- If anyone is familiar with the Tumblr post, this is basically a reference to that. Walk like you've been sent to murder Captain America is the walk that the reader can usually be seen doing beside Mikey. They're feral just like us.

[ragecndybars]

Akimina or ryuken for the ship thing? Ryuken is ryuji x Ken but only when Ken is 18 not a literal child (it started as a joke and now I'm invested. I'm sorry 😔)

starting out with akimina because AAAAAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE MY EVERYTHINGGGGG i love them together so muchhh, they're both very calm-seeming and very competent, but while minato's calm and collected facade hides a mean little gremlin, akihiko's facade hides a chaotic himbo with no self preservation skills... like they're both genuinely very intelligent and sensible but they're also both capable of being complete and utter idiots and i love that in a couple.

i hadn't really considered ryuken before but i think its cute af! the way i'm imagining it, ryuji would have a very obvious crush on ken, and ken's a little better at hiding it but he gets flustered about how obvious ryuji is lmao, meanwhile the older members of SEES are all lining up to give poor ryuij the shovel talk...

[flowerbarrel-art]

~ Puffballs United, InnerSloth, The Henry Stickmin Collection

~ Day 23 of Stickmintober: Shipping

~~~~~~~~~~

“So, this place is haunted?” Gremlin asked, glancing up at the haunted house ride.

“Yeah, but only after eight,” Ken responded with a nod.

“Why not earlier?” Gremlin asked, moving up in line when the two people ahead got into a car.

“I think just so they don’t scare any kids,” Ken said.

“Oh…yeah,” Gremlin murmured.

“And it wouldn’t be as scary if a bunch of people dressed as ghosts were walking around in broad daylight,” Ken went on. “Even though some visitors were wearing costumes.”

“What?” Gremlin asked. “You mean those weren’t real werewolves and zombies?”

“Well…probably not,” Ken chuckled.

“Isn’t it weird Reg wanted everybody to have time off for Halloween?” Gremlin remarked, folding her arms. “I didn’t think he was into it at all.”

“Me neither,” Ken said with a laugh. “Maybe he had a date.”

“Probably,” Gremlin said.

“Right?” Ken asked.

“Yup,” Gremlin said.

The two got into a car when the line attendant gestured to them. He quickly buckled them in and the car rolled forward.

“You want to stay til it gets dark?” Ken asked as the car headed down into a sloped part of the ride.

“Hmm…yeah, sure,” Gremlin said.

“My parents and I used to come here every Halloween,” Ken said.

The car turned a corner and a pair of headlights blared, causing him to jump and lean into Gremlin.

“Uh…sorry,” Ken mumbled sheepishly, and Gremlin shrugged.

“Two years ago I was the one scared of rides like this,” she said, glowering at the strobe lights overhead that made it look like bats were flying by.

“That was only because you’d never been to a theme park before,” Ken said, grinning and elbowing her lightly in the side. “You wouldn’t have been scared otherwise. You don’t get scared of anything.”

Gremlin looked away, then back with a smirk.

“And I haven’t barked at anything yet,” she said, lightly elbowing Ken back.

The car began to roll past walls painted to look like a graveyard full of bare, moonlit trees.

Gremlin felt Ken shaking slightly and glanced at him.

“I think it’s almost over,” she said, just as a train horn blared loudly. Ken jumped and grabbed Gremlin’s hand.

She looked at him, then glanced back ahead and squeezed his hand once.

The car stopped, and the two unbuckled and hopped out.

“That always gets me,” Ken said, rubbing his arm.

“They wouldn’t have put it in there if they didn’t think it would scare people,” Gremlin said. “But we don’t have to go on anything like it again. How about another roller coaster?”

Ken nodded, brightening.

“Same one as last time?” he asked, and Gremlin nodded.

They made their way towards the double-loop rollercoaster.

“Let’s get something to eat after this,” Gremlin said.

“If we don’t get sick,” Ken said, sliding into a seat near the front of the coaster, Gremlin quickly sitting next to him.

The ride attendee walked briskly past, securing everyone into their seats.

“We won’t,” Gremlin said as the attendee double-checked the seats restraints. “We haven’t even…oh, no…”

“What?” Ken asked, giving her a worried look.

Gremlin nodded at the people in front; Ken looked discreetly to see a person with bright red hair and another with bright red headphones. A third person with short brown hair was sitting between them.

“Let’s get off,” Gremlin hissed quietly.

The roller coaster lurched and began to inch forward.

“Oooh, here we go, you guys!”

“I thought you were scared, Charles.”

“When did I say that, Ellie? I love roller coasters!”

“They’re only a bit crazier than Charles driving.”

“Heh, come on, Henry!”

“What a damn coincidence,” Gremlin sighed as the rollercoaster neared the top.

“It’s okay,” Ken whispered. “Let’s just get off quickly when it stops.”

“First time?” Charles asked cheerfully, looking back. Ken and Gremlin froze. “Don’t worry! It’s always hard the first time, but you’ll love it!”

Gremlin and Ken nodded stiffly, then sank back against the seats when Charles quickly turned around again.

The rollercoaster reached the top, then shot down the track, picking up speed for a bit before hitting the first loop, then the second, and continued along a spiraling track before going up and back to the beginning.

The coaster came to a stop. Ken and Gremlin pushed their safety bars up the instant they unlocked, then ran down the ramp and away from the rollercoaster.

“What the hell are they doing here?” Gremlin huffed after they’d ducked behind a sign. “Were they on a date?”

“Maybe,” Ken sighed.

“Remember that ball game we passed a while ago?” Gremlin asked, tightly crossing her arms. “Let’s go win some masks. I don’t want them getting another look at us.”

“Huh?” Ken asked, but had to jog when Gremlin took his hand and pulled him along. “We could just buy some.”

“They’re too expensive,” Gremlin said. “Don’t worry.”

They stopped at the ball game, and Gremlin paid for two rounds.

“Whenever you’re ready,” the man said, stepping out of the way.

“Yup,” Gremlin said, aiming for a moment before throwing the balls, getting each one in the middle hole.

“Whoa, good job,” the employee said, and Gremlin played the last round, getting another high score.

“You wanna go again?” the employee asked, and Gremlin shook her head.

“Nice work. You’ve got good aim.”

Gremlin turned slowly to see Charles, Ellie and Henry standing there.

“Been wondering where you were,” Ellie said calmly. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat.”

Ken and Gremlin looked at each other, then followed after the three.

“Hey, you forgot your prizes!”

Gremlin waved a hand at the man.

“It’s alright, it was just for fun.”

Once they’d walked a fair distance away, Gremlin glared at the trio.

“What do you want?” she demanded.

“Just to tell you that you don’t have to run,” Charles sighed. “You haven’t done anything, and we’re off-duty. We are going to have to mention we saw you, though.”

“Of course,” Ken muttered.

“It was just a coincidence that we were here too,” Ellie said.

“Fine,” Gremlin hissed. “If that’s all, then goodbye.”

Ken and Gremlin quickly walked off, not looking back.

“Jeez,” Gremlin said. “Finally. Where do you want to go next?”

“You want to stay?” Ken asked.

“I’m not letting them chase us away,” Gremlin huffed.

“Alright,” Ken said. “Where do you want to eat?”

“Let’s stay in the park,” Gremlin said. “Why don’t we wait until it gets haunted?”

“Alright!” Ken said, smiling. “Thanks, Grim.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That was a lot of fun,” Ellie chimed as they walked out of the walk-through haunted house. “We should do this again next year!”

“Definitely,” Charles agreed brightly, and Henry nodded with a smile. “So, you two ready for dinner?”

Ellie and Henry nodded enthusiastically.

“Me too,” Charles said. “Let’s get going, then!”

Ellie put her arms around Charles and Henry, hugging them tightly.

“I’m paying,” Ellie said.

“No you’re not,” Charles huffed.

“I could pay,” Henry said. “I’d switch your cards out for mine no problem.”

“Don’t you dare!” Ellie and Charles exclaimed, and Ellie ruffled Henry’s hair.

“We’d better go before it gets too crowded,” Charles said.

“I’m gonna pay,” Ellie said, and Charles sighed, while Henry laughed.

“You two are goofs,” Charles said, hugging them close.

“You love us though,” Ellie cooed.

“Well, yeah, I do,” Charles said, grinning. “That was my point. Now we really better get going.”

The three of them strode off, chatting happily along the way.

[thesoulesscollection]

I’m sending some ships for brutally honest opinions. Don’t hold back! 😆 (if that’s too many just pick whichever ones you want to talk about)

Lucas Broomhandle x Calvin Bukowski

Victoria Grit x Amelia Esteban

Ken Janpon x Gremlin

Victoria Grit x Rupert Price

Heya, thank you again for the task. As well, I just picked two because I don't know all the characters in full detail just yet and I didn't want to half ass it. Besides that I did try to be brutally or just honest with it to the best of my ability. Ask box is always open for anyone to flood it with anything 

Victoria x Rupert: At first, I didn't know this was a ship (I was new to the fandom so that's one reason why & it wasn't super common), then simply I was just not too interested in it. But after seeing some lovely ship art, I started to think it was cute. Not one of my favorites or one I'll go out of my way for usually unless I have an interest kicked in for it though I wouldn't mind experimenting with it every so often. 

Lucas x Calvin: This one is new to me and the character, Lucas as well so this may be a short reply here. Similar to the last one up above, it's a ship I haven't seen before however unlike that, I may be a little more open/interested since I can see a unique dynamic between them. Like two pranksters or hyperactive young men getting into shenanigans together. 

[felixiicon]

you x kenma <3

Warnings: Swearing, ooc Kenma who hates kids, my first haikyuu fic

Note: it’s bad and kind wack

Kenma had never once considered himself to be a family kinda guy. He loved his parents and his friends, sure, and he loved you. But beyond that, he’d never felt any kind of overly compassionate feelings towards the idea of having a family. It wasn't something he saw in his future, nor was it something he looked forward to. However, as with anyone, his life had a habit of taking unexpected turns.

He'd always known you wanted kids. It was one of the first things you told him when the pair of you first got together. However Kenma being Kenma hadn't thought much of it then - to be honest, he hadn't thought much of your relationship in general, expecting it to be a quick affair before you got bored of him and left.

Surprisingly, you hadn't, however, and before Kenma really had time to think, he'd settled into a nice homely life in a penthouse in Tokyo with his video games and you as his wife. And this time when you brought up the idea of kids again, Kenma, bound by a vow he'd made to himself to always provide you with what you wanted, had obliged.

At first, he’d genuinely hated being a father. The crying, the late nights, the not having time for anything other than the screaming, wrinkled brat - he’d hated it. Especially when the loud wailing that rang through the hallways of your expensive penthouse tugged you from his arms and left him cursing the day he ever agreed to create another spawn with you.

There were some mornings, however, that weren’t so bad. Mornings where he was allowed to wake up naturally, after having a full night’s rest. Mornings when his now ten-month-old son had been able to sleep through the whole night and then some, and he was able to roll over across his Alaskan King-sized bed and bury his face into your collarbone without any kind of interruptions.

Today was one of those mornings. Kenma’s eyes blinked open to the sounds of early morning Meguro. Light was just beginning to pierce through the bedroom windows, casting a warm glow across his sleepy face. It was summer and Kenma could already feel the heat of the day beginning to rise, even tucked away as he was in the air-conditioned bedroom.

He rolled over to look at you properly. You were asleep on your stomach, arms gripping your pillow loosely and face buried in the covers. You were wearing one of his Kodzuken merch hoodies and the thick, black material seemed to swallow up your body until only your face could be seen.

Kenma couldn’t help it - he smiled. He had never been the kind of person to get sentimental but seeing you here, still by his side even after almost seven years, had his heart racing. Scooching his way across the bed, he slipped an arm across your waist and pulled you into his chest.

You sighed contentedly as your body heat mixed with his and snuggled closer, seeking his presence even in your sleep. Kenma felt his heart do a flip and he raised one hand slowly to gently stroke over your head. “Morning, pretty girl.”

You stirred at the sound of his voice, blinking sleepily in the dull light of the morning. Once your eyes had gradually come into focus, you offered Kenma a sleepy smile. “G’morning.”

“How’d you sleep?”

You rolled onto your back and stretched, face scrunching in satisfaction. “Pretty good. You?”

“Better than usual,” Kenma mumbled. He frowned. “The gremlin slept through the night.”

You swatted lightly at his chest. “Don’t call your son a gremlin.” He could see in your eyes, however, that you agreed with him.

“He is a gremlin,” Kenma mumbled, smothering his words in his pillow. “I can’t remember the last time I got a full night’s sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes at his complaints. Worming your way out of his arms, you sat up and blinked sleepily around at your bedroom. “I should probably go check on him, though.”

“Noooo,” Kenma whined. You turned back to see him making grabby hands in your direction. “He gets you all the time. I wanna spend time with you now.”

You stared at his upset pout for a few seconds before laughing. Reaching out, you ruffled up his long hair. “Damn, anyone would think you were the baby, Ken.”

“Shut up,” Kenma mumbled sullenly, still pouting. “I just miss you, is all.”

“I miss you too.” You leaned down to press a sweet kiss to his cheek before getting to your feet properly. “But, unfortunately, if I don’t deal with the gremlin soon, he’s probably gonna start crying. Do you want to deal with a crying baby right now?”

Kenma made a face. Eventually, he mumbled out, “No.” You smiled triumphantly.

“That’s what I thought. Now come on, we can spend time together while I check on him.”

Kenma’s grumbling was audible as he swung his own long legs out of bed and heaved himself to his feet to follow after you. You walked in front of him, a spring in your step despite the early hour. Kenma shuffled behind, hands buried deep in the pockets of his hoodie that matched yours, eyes fixed on your back as you rounded the corner and stepped through the door of your baby’s room.

“See, he’s hogging all your attention.”

The room was silent, save only for the occasional gurgle or sigh coming from the crib. Kenma blinked in surprise when he realised his son was awake and staring with wide eyes up at him. The baby’s legs kicked a little when he saw his parents and then a bright, lopsided smile spread across his small face. One of his chubby arms flailed and then he let out a small squeak, obviously wanting to be picked up.

You rushed to him immediately, cooing in a decidedly motherly way as you reached down into the crib to lift him into your arms. Kenma stood watching from the door, trying desperately not to allow the fondness he was feeling in his chest to show in his expression. Instead, he scowled.

You turned to frown at your husband. "Oh shush, you’re just being salty.” Then you turned back to your son, a welcoming smile immediately lighting up your expression. “Good morning, Souta.”

Souta blinked at you, his catlike eyes wide and curious. Then he reached out to grab the collar of your hoodie and shrieked something unintelligible. You turned him so he was facing Kenma and gently held his chubby arm between two of your fingers so you could wave his hand. Then you grinned up at your husband. “Look, he’s waving at you, Ken.”

Kenma flipped Souta off, still salty. You gave an exaggerated gasp and made to cover your baby's eyes while glaring at him.

“Kozume! That’s rude!’

Kenma shrugged and pushed himself up from where he had been leaning against the doorframe. “He’s rude,” he mumbled in response as he made his way over to you. There was no malice in his eyes as he stared down at Souta however, and as Souta stared back up at him, you could see the hostility Kenma was putting up beginning to melt away. Eventually, he abandoned the act altogether and leaned down to drop a begrudged kiss on the top of Souta’s head.

Souta, who seemed overjoyed by his father’s affection, reached out to yank at one of the ties on Kenma’s hoodie and you took it as an opportunity to bundle the baby into his father’s arms. Kenma pouted yet again as he was forced to hold Souta, giving you a pleading look.

“See, he’s fine. Now can we go cuddle?”

“No.” You were already making your way towards the kitchen. “I’m hungry. Plus, it’s too late to go back to bed. The sun’s already up.”

Kenma, who would very happily have stayed in bed until well past noon, sighed audibly. Then he looked down at Souta. The baby stared back up at him, smiling when he met his father’s eyes.

“This is all your fault,” Kenma told him sullenly. “You’re stealing all mommy’s love. I was here first.”

Souta, oblivious to what his father was saying, kept smiling.

“You know what I think?” Kenma continued as he began to walk out of the room, following the path you’d made to the kitchen. He was still staring down at his child. “I think you should go visit Uncle Kuroo today. Then mommy and I can have the whole day to ourselves.”

Souta didn’t seem to like this idea. His smile began to turn downwards and before Kenma even had a second to think, fat salty tears were beginning to brim in his wide eyes.

You stuck your head out of the kitchen at the sound of Souta’s first loud wail, and almost laughed at the sight of Kenma’s distraught face. Pointing in your husband’s direction, you gave him a stern look. “Stop being mean to your kid, Kenma. He knows what you’re saying.”

“I wasn’t being mean!” Kenma retorted, trying his best to comfort the wailing baby in his arms. “How was I supposed to know he doesn’t like Kuroo?”

You shook your head, fighting a smile. “Just be nice to him. Sheesh.”

Kenma bounced Souta lightly up and down, looking more and more distressed the longer the baby cried. Eventually, he held the child out towards you. “Here, you take him.”

“Nope.” You disappeared back inside the kitchen. “You need to learn how to handle him. He’s your son too, silly.”

Kenma stared after you in dismay. Then he looked back down at Souta. The baby seemed to be watching Kenma as he cried, almost as if he was testing his father. Kenma gave him a dirty look before tucking him back into his chest and heading towards the living room.

‘It’s okay,’ he thought as he moved, continually stroking the wispy hairs on Souta's head. ‘It’s just like a game. I just need to gain friendship points and then he’ll like me again.’

Sitting down cross-legged on the large couch in the living room, Kenma settled Souta in his lap. For a moment, he stared down at his son, wondering what on earth he should do to get him to stop crying. Kenma had never particularly liked children - he’d always preferred cats. But as he stared down at his son now, he realised it was a skill he needed to learn, especially now that you were practically leaving him out to dry.

What would Y/N do?

He tried to remember your order of business when it came to tending to your son.

Step One - check if he needs his nappy changed.

Kenma checked. All was well.

Step Two - check if he has a fever or seems sick at all.

Kenma pressed a hand to Souta’s forehead. All was well.

Step three - check if he's hungry.

Kenma stared down at Souta. Then he leaned backward slightly to yell in the direction of the kitchen. “Hey, Y/N-!”

You seemed to already know what he was going to ask as a bottle came flying through the air towards him. By some miracle of life (most likely his volleyball instincts) Kenma snatched it right before it smacked him right in the side of the head. Then he held it out in front of Souta.

“You want this?’

The baby didn’t reply.

Kenma held the bottle towards him again, being careful to hold the baby up with his other hand. Souta watched as his breakfast moved closer and closer before eventually opening his mouth.

Kenma smiled triumphantly as Souta began to drink from the bottle, his wailing cutting off suddenly as he sucked happily at the formula inside. Lifting the baby into his arms once again, he held him close against his chest and leaned back against the back of the couch. Souta rested his head against his father's shoulder, slurping happily at his bottle, any trace of his tears now gone.

Kenma looked up when he heard your soft footsteps against the cold wood floor. You draped yourself over the couch, a smug grin on your face as you observed your husband and now visibly content son.

"See, I told you you two could get along."

Kenma glowered at you for a second before looking down at Souta too. His expression softened. "He's whatever."

You gave him a light slap upside the head before rounding the couch. After scooping Souta from his arms, you took the spot where the baby had been for yourself and settled down with your back against Kenma’s chest. Your husband immediately slung his arms around your waist and hooked his chin on your shoulder, so he could watch quietly as you rocked Souta back and forth.

A peaceful silence fell for a moment as you fed Souta, watching as his eyes began to droop. Eventually, he stopped sucking at his bottle and you slowly pulled it away, making sure to hold Souta carefully while you leaned over to put the bottle on the table. Kenma reached around you and used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe at a dribble of formula that had made its way down Souta’s chin. Then he reached up to gently smooth one of Souta’s dark curls down.

You watched slyly, a small smile tugging at your lips as Kenma’s subtle show of affection. Leaning back, you allowed your head to rest back on your husband’s shoulder, cuddling your baby closer at the same time. With a glance upwards, you met Kenma’s gaze out of the corner of your eye.

“You know, you’re better with him than you think.”

Kenma blushed and looked away from you. “Shut up. I don’t like kids.”

“I know you don’t.” You leaned up to press a gentle kiss to the underside of his jaw. “But you can tolerate this one… right?’

Kenma was silent for a moment, torn between preserving his pride and speaking the truth. Eventually, the latter won him over and he mumbled, “I guess.”

You smiled broadly and gave him another kiss. “There you go.” Then you turned back to your son, who was now asleep with his head tucked neatly against your chest.

Kenma followed his son’s example and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, allowing his eyes to fall closed. His grip on your waist remained firm, giving you nowhere to go as he held you in a moment of silent appreciation.

You were the first to break the silence. “Thank you.”

Kenma looked up. “What for?”

You shifted Souta in your arm just slightly before looking back up at your husband, “For this. For everything. I know this probably wasn't the life you wanted but-”

“Hey,” Kenma mumbled, blushing hard now. “Who said this wasn’t the life I wanted?’

“Well, you just said yourself that you don’t like children.”

Kenma sighed and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your shoulder. “Well,” he started slowly, trying to find a way to word his thoughts that wouldn’t be embarrassing as all hell. “I may not like kids, but I like you. And if having kids is what makes you happy, then I’m happy with that. Plus…” he glanced down at Souta again. “When the gremlin isn’t hogging your attention, he isn’t so bad.”

You gave him a half-smile. “Aw, Ken. That was almost romantic.”

“Shut up,” Kenma mumbled, hiding his burning cheeks in your shoulder. Before you could speak again, he bundled you close to him and closed his eyes. “Now let me cuddle you before it wakes up.”

You smiled softly and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “Okay.” For the first time that morning, you had nothing to say in protest to the idea of cuddling.

image

#kenma x reader#kenma kozume x reader#kozume x reader#kozume kenma x reader#kenma#anime#haikyuu#kenma kozume#kozume kenma#haikyuu x reader#kenam x y/n#haikyuu fanfic#lianawrites#kenma fanfic#kenma kozume fanfic#haikyuu x y/n#fluff#kenma x you#haikyuu x you#haikyuu!!… See all

[greatvanheflinkennethtobeypie]

The Man of the Ferry (1943, Short)

Dangerous Venture (1947) - Red

This Time for Keeps (1948) - Redheaded Soldier at Pool (uncredited)

Beyond Glory (1948) - Bit Role (uncredited)

He Walked by Night (1948) - Detective Questioning Pete (uncredited)

The Stratton Story (1949) - Detroit Player (uncredited)

Illegal Entry (1949) - Dave (uncredited)

The Great Sinner (1949) - Cabbie (uncredited)

I Was a Male War Bride (1949) - Red - Seaman (uncredited)

The Stratton Story (1949)

Task Force (1949) - Capt. Ken Williamson (uncredited)

The Doctor and the Girl (1949) - Surgeon at Bellevue (uncredited)

Free for All (1949) - Pilot

Twelve O'Clock High (1949) - Sgt. Keller - Guard at Gate (uncredited)

The File on Thelma Jordon (1950) - Police Photographer (uncredited)

When Willie Comes Marching Home(1950) - Lt. K. Geiger (uncredited)

One Way Street (1950) - Cop at Second Accident (uncredited)

Love That Brute (1950) - Henchman #1 in Cigar Store (uncredited)

The Gunfighter (1950) - Swede (uncredited)

My Friend Irma Goes West (1950) - Pilot

Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye (1950) - Det. Fowler

Right Cross (1950) - Ken, the Third Reporter

Three Secrets (1950) - Officer (uncredited)

The Flying Missile (1950) - Crewman Pete McEvoy

The Company She Keeps (1951) - Rex Fisher (uncredited)

Up Front (1951) - Cooper (uncredited)

Rawhide (1951) - Lt. Wingate (uncredited)

The Thing from Another World (1951) - Captain Patrick Hendry

Angel Face (1952) - Bill Crompton

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms(1953) - Col. Jack Evans

Fighter Attack (1953) - George

The Bigamist (1953) - Tom Morgan, Defense Attorney

Ring of Fear (1954) - Shreveport

Down Three Dark Streets (1954) - FBI Agent Zack Stewart

The Steel Cage (1954) - Steinberg, Convict Painter (segment "The Face")

Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier(1955) - Colonel Jim Bowie

Rage at Dawn (1955) - Monk Claxton

It Came from Beneath the Sea (1955) - Cmdr. Pete Mathews

Davy Crockett and the River Pirates(1956) - Jocko

The Steel Jungle (1956) - Dr. Lewy

The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit(1956) - Lt. Hank Mahoney (uncredited)

The Great Locomotive Chase (1956) - Anthony Murphy

The Search For Bridey Murphy (1956) - Rex Simmons

The Wings of Eagles (1957) - Capt. Herbert Allen Hazard

Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957) - Bat Masterson

The Vampire (1957) - Sheriff Buck Donnelly

Jet Pilot (1957) - Sergeant (uncredited)

Cry Terror! (1958) - Agent Frank Cole

uncredited)

Bat Masterson! (1960) - Reed Amherst (diamond con man)

Seven Ways from Sundown (1960) - Texas Ranger Lieutenant Herly

Perry Mason (1960) - Deputy D.A. Jack Alvin - S4 E3, the I'll Fated Faker

X-15 (1961) - Col. Craig Brewster

Sea Hunt (1961), Season 4, Episode 33

Stark Fear (1962) - Cliff Kane

40 Guns to Apache Pass (1966) - Corporal Bodine

A Man Called Adam (1966) - Club Owner

A Time for Killing (1967) - Sgt. Cleehan

Marlowe (1969) - Sgt. Fred Beifus

Billy Jack (1971) - Deputy Mike

Terror in the Sky (1971) - Capt. Wilson

Ben (1972) - Engineer

The Candidate (1972) - Floyd J. Starkey

Rage (1972) - Col. Alan A. Nickerson

Walking Tall (1973) - Augie McCullah

Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry (1974) - Sheriff Carl Donahue

Homebodies (1974) - Construction Boss

The Missiles of October (1974) - Adm. George W. Anderson Jr., Chief of Naval Operations

The Wild McCullochs (1975) - Larry Carpenter

W.C. Fields and Me (1976) - Parker

Baby Blue Marine (1976) - Buick Driver

Gus (1976) - Asst. Warden

MacArthur (1977) - Admiral Halsey

Goodbye, Franklin High (1978) - Police Captain

Hero at Large (1980) - Firechief

Airplane! (1980) - Air Controller Neubauer

The Howling (1981) - Older Cop

Strange Invaders (1983) - Arthur Newman

Gremlins (1984) - Mobil Gas Station Attendant (uncredited)

The Lost Empire (1984) - Capt. Hendry

Innerspace (1987) - Man in Restroom

Big Top Pee-wee (1988) - Sheriff

Freeway (1988) - Monsignor Kavanaugh

Ghost Writer (1989) - Cop #2

Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) - Projectionist

Desire and Hell at Sunset Motel (1991) - Capt. Holiday

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) - Smitty

Single White Female (1992) - Desk Clerk

Body Shot (1994) - Arthur Lassen

Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996) - Hologram-Priest (uncredited)

The Naked Monster (2005) - Col. Patrick Hendry (final film role)

[guardians-of-exo]

bias tag game <3

I was tagged by @bacon-notbaekhyun-jaehyun-mingyu and @starchild--27 thank you both ❤️ 

rules: list 9 of your biases - and let your mutuals decide if you have a type!

Oh I already know that I have a type 😂 My type is usually the one you hear first, meaning they’re often loud and annoying as fuck - aka the moodmakers of each group.

Like @starchild--27 I’m not sure I can even list 9 biases from groups I know really well, so I’m gonna have to pull from groups that I kinda know

- groups I know best: 

EXO: Chanyeol and Baekhyun - and yes, both of them, I literally have stopped trying to choose. It’s impossible and I’ve accepted my fate

Monsta X: Minhyuk - his smile is my literal everything 🥰

Ateez: I usually go with Yunho, but the whole group is basically one single braincell and I’m finding it hard to choose lately 😂

- groups i know quite well:

BTS: Jungkook - idk he just catches my eye everytime I watch something with them. Though V is coming a pretty close second

VIXX: Ken was on my radar for a while, then I saw him cover the song from Frozen dressed like Elsa and I just knew 😂

Oneus: Hwanwoong charmed his way right into my heart

- groups i kind of know but don't keep up with too much:

SF9: Inseong I think, but I haven’t really seen much with them, I just really like his voice

NCT: Ten - his awful humour is right up my alley. I watched the ‘john’s banana’ clip and I just kinda knew from his gremlin face that it was going to be him 😂

SHInee: Key’s sass is everything 😂  

I tag: @baekinmylife @softly-savage-mint-yoongi @amyeonzing @hawkswildfireheart

[nauseateddrive]

I ALMOST KILLED MY FURBY by Kristine Brown

"One day, you'll say, 'I want kids.'"

Surely. Pfft.

"...so keep in mind that when you do have children, you know that..."

I find that when it comes to offspring, precedents are implausible. But, go on.

"When are you having kids?"

Thanks for your concerns, people older than myself. By the way, I'm twenty and I just moved in with the guy.

* * *

Many of these discussions took place in 2012. Today, I'm twenty-eight. A generous plenty say I look seventeen, twelve on days speckled with sunshine and free of humidity. I have not seriously dated a man in more than two years. Silence is joyful, and my bank account is calm. I should also mention that my vocal chords are so much less strained because I've hardly engaged in another argument about when to get pregnant, how many times, and who would perform tasks of necessity while the other did all the indoctrination. My first relationship - the only serious one I've had - was outwardly quirky in that Wall-E and EVE sort of way, but if anyone was our neighbor, he or she would tell a different story. My live-in boyfriend had a dogged coldness resembling Kevin Lomax from The Devil's Advocate, and my meltdowns were just as grating as Mrs. Lomax's pleas to just "make a baby." Oddly enough, he was the one proposing plans for The Spawning. I just wanted him to spend time with me more.

My opinion on kids? I would make for an unfit mother. Possibly because of maladaptive behaviors, my urge to crush Pepsi cans to bite-sized accordions, a desensitization to insults my friends would classify as "bullying." I couldn't possibly impart a set of ethics to foster happiness and prosperity in the life of a child. "Oh, but that would be my job, love bug." Let's assume that besides diapering, clothing, breastfeeding, and these advanced duties to follow, I couldn't possibly have any sort of influence on my child. Doubtful.

Sometimes, whether at work or in a doctor's office, I witness an angry child thrashing a baby doll, or a careless, soporific child who drags the tiny mannequin by the hair. The parent may reprimand the child, and might even say: "Look what you did to your baby. No, don't do that!"

I can't say I've had these experiences, at least at a very young age. I never took an interest in baby dolls. Now, I do remember having multiple miniature dolls either given to me by older children or found in the clamor of Saturday swap meets. I do remember the Ken and Barbie, not genuinely Mattel but sufficiently humanoid to warrant their being called such. And with the screech of cheap Velcro, their garments were gone, and Ken slept on top. Well, I thought they were sleeping, but adults were displeased with my mission in choreography. I never saw those miniature knockoffs again. Predictably, I was supervised as I played with the Native American doll set. The male was removed, and eventually, so was the horse.

The clarity of my childhood memories astounds a handful of people, partly because of my current tendency to gloss over details and fail to follow directions. I could readily retell the plots and messages of numerous commercials in the mid-to-late '90s, the older Generation X-ers nodding and smirking in a way that asks, "Why do you know all this?" I was especially terrified of public safety announcements. "Only you can prevent forest fires" disconcerts me as much as "Hi, I'm Chucky. Wanna play?” But one campaign I couldn't tolerate was the one with the shaken baby. The teddy bear etched in stone, the infant's screams in the background, a camera in a dance of epilepsy. Then you see the whole tombstone and something along the lines of "Our Beloved Child." I think I was five or six at the time, but that was quite a horror flick.

What the frustrated adult committed against the baby, I would replicate three years later. To my Furby.

We were better off then and at this point my parents had learned the rules of Keeping Up with the Joneses. But they didn't buy the Furby. Even now, I question the merits by which he entered our home. Oreo. That's what my babysitter's older sister introduced him as, placing the box in my twiggy little arms, pinching my cheeks because that's what people do to you when you're eight, chubby, and loudly pretentious. She was fired the week after. I still remember being asked if the Furby was supposed to be paid for.

So consensus states that Furbies are Satan's little mercenaries. Infantilized Gremlins, wingless bats with beaks, sorely mutated flying monkeys. Whatever they may be, and in whatever year they were manufactured and marketed, we know that each and every Furby could use obedience classes with S.T.F.U. Consulting (I suppose we should add "LLC" to this, protecting the venture from lawsuits should the classes not work). That little gem plastered onto their foreheads? I don't believe it was ever a sophisticated camera, or a recording device. I couldn't teach Oreo anything. If I couldn't make him dance like my friends could with theirs, how could my children follow simple rules? Not that I was making this irrational connection in 1998, but my friends often joked that as much as I carried that loudmouth around, he was "kinda" my baby.

Furbies have this creepy voice a bit too similar to that of an aggressive cougar you've either known or heard of with a burgeoning case of emphysema. Yes, I also remember some graphic anti-smoking ads. I think above all demands, mine's signature croon was "Hungry." I'd press my finger on its plastic red tongue to hear those simpering "Mmmm"s and so many "Hungry"s that wouldn't cease no matter how often I fed the damn thing. Frustrated, I'd bury Oreo beneath layers of blankets, chuck him in multiple pillowcases, wedge him beneath the wall and my mattress. His nighttime cravings annoyed us all. 

There was a point where I was reprimanded harshly for walking by Oreo during his "naps." We had had it with his shit.

We couldn't figure out how to turn the fucker off. Honestly, I don't remember anyone even taking steps to activate the Furby. He came into the world as is. It's eerily similar to those robotic babies they hoist onto high school freshmen in state-mandated health class. Abstinence only, this will teach you. And in those health classes I do remember some frustrated girls perpetrating acts of legitimate mannequin abuse. Kind of like those angry toddlers in doctors' offices. Oreo once again begged for food. I couldn't quite teach him to dance on cue. He never did anything other Furbies did in all the commercials. I knew you could rub them on the tummy and all, but I thought, "What if I turn him upside down?"

And he hung from my grasp, looking very much like an obese bat that lost its wings long atrophied. Characteristically, he screamed, "Weeeeee. Fun!"

My intention was to punish him. So I shook him.

"Weeeee. Fun! Tuba, woah! Do do do do do dooooo..."

(Oreo uttered this phrase multiple times. I could never really make out exactly what he was saying, but I am certain that he did say "Tuba.")

As my hands were too tiny for one to do all the handling, I tried to spin him around. Really, I churned the animatronic butterball in multiple directions, my arms growing tired, my frustrations projected.

"Woahhh! Woahhh!"

I continued with this odd punishment.

"Woaaaahhhh! Me scared!"

The cry was loud. But that "Me scared" was a bit unsettling. It was a mix between a coo and a gasp, like he knew what I was trying to do. But I continued in my campaign to silence Oreo.

"Whooopeeeee! Fuuuunnnn!"

Blatantly contradicting the sentiments expressed immediately prior. I continued.

"Woaaahhh! Me scared! Heeeee."

That "heeee" actually sounded remorseful. I felt a twinge of remorse. But it wasn't enough, as I did continue.

Repeatedly, he would cry about being scared. And suddenly, a snorting sound. And while he hung upside down, the base of his odd little person in the clutches of my white-knuckled hands, he spoke the awaited mantra.

"Wooooo. Wooooo. Wooooo. Something something. Cocoa."

(Again, it's often hard for me to properly recall exactly what that thing said. I'm pretty confident he said "cocoa." He had some decent taste.)

And silence. For a good two years. Despite several jabs and pinches in evenings to follow, Oreo persisted in his slumber. Or coma.

Twenty years later, and I'm ordering books on Amazon to better address my anger, impatience, and tendency to seethe. Babies, and children in general, stay absent in my plans. But really, no one would take the story of Oreo seriously enough in reviewing my constant fears. That day, I became a little scared of myself.

Kristine Brown shuffles between poetry, prose, data entry, and wishing she could properly fly a kite. She photographs strangers' cats and writes poems for them. You can find these poems on her blog, Crumpled Paper Cranes (https://crumpledpapercranes.com). Her writing appears in Hobart, Philosophical Idiot, Burningword Literary Journal, among others. Her novel, Connie Undone, will be released on March 1st, 2020.

[chaoxfix]

ok since a few ppl have asked (i forgot about this post for like 12 hours sorry)

using main characters from the games, archie, and idw, and like 2 from sonic x.

s tier: sonic. rouge. when i see them in fics together and they interact and theyre well written i lose my shit. tails.

a tier: knuckles. bunnie. amy. these are my emotional support characters. sally would be s tier if she was in my hands more often but i characterize her so differently to most fanon (and canon considering penders had her for so long...) that she might as well be a blorbo. the entire team chaotix including mighty and ray (i will not separate any of them.)

b tier: eggman bc hes interesting. tangle because i want good things for her and she reminds me of me when im not experiencing burnout and mental dis-health. whisper because i wont separate them. fiona. julie-su. enerjak knuckles bc that arc was sick. nicole. kit and surge with surge being closer to a tier because shes a gremlin<3 . scourge. blaze. shahra. big i guess i like his vibe.

c tier: villains other than eggman. i just dont care. they allow for conflict though so thats. fine. shadow but he'd be a tier material if he was still written well. metal sonic. cream. emerl. gemerl. silver. all of these can become a tier material when well written but otherwise i just dont care much and am not invested in their stories. antoine. elise. cosmo though ill admit her ending was cool af. babylon rogues.

d tier: belle. any of ken penders characters i havent already named. chris. i KNOW people are starting to double back and like him. i know. i dont though <3

shit tier: the whatever six. zavok and whatever. hate them. personally offends me. mello the bee. sonia and manic. fleetway sonic.

i wanna make a tier list of my fav characters but some of you would burn me at the stake

[jacksonhenry297]

What Happened on “The Masked Singer” Premiere?

The show “The Masked Singer” returned for its fourth instalment on Fox on Wednesday night with celebrity panelists consisting of Ken Jeong, Nicole Scherzinger, Jenny McCarthy, and Robin Thicke (all of them would be competing for a golden trophy of their own) practicing social distancing. The contestants have the Golden Mask Trophy to worry about, but the panel will set their sights on the newly created Golden Ear trophy.

To win the Golden Ear trophy, all the panelists have to do is write their first impressions of the contestants. The one whose impressions will match up correctly with the facts will be the winner.

On Wednesday, the Groups A, B, and C were introduced with A having the masked singers with code names The Sun, Giraffe, Popcorn, Dragon, and Snow Owls (the first costume featured two celebrities).

Group B had nicknames Crocodile, Gremlin, Seahorse, Whatchamacallit, Serpent and Baby Alien.

Group C who debuted later had nicknames Broccoli, Squiggly Monster, Mushroom, Jellyfish, and Lips.

The host Nick Cannon dropped a bombshell on viewers and said that if the achievements of Masked celebrities are combined, they have 46 Grammy awards, an Oscar nomination, and an Olympic Gold Medal.

The Sun performed the Lizzo’s melody “Cuz I love You,” which threw the panelists into confusion as all three of them guessed different names with the likes of star singers like Demi Lovato, McPhee, and Madonna being thrown into the mix.

The Giraffe performed Mamacita star The Black Eyed Peas’ other hit song “Let’s Get It Started.” The judges pinned their hopes on Blink 182-drummer Travis Barker, Garth Brooks, “Ice Ice Baby” rapper Vanilla Ice.

Code name Popcorn renditioned “So What” singer Alecia Beth Moore’s (commonly known as Pink) song “What About Us?” The judges suspected that she could even be pop culture icons like Tina Turner and Mary J. Blige. Jeong was more grounded and went with an obvious choice of Baskin.

The Dragon was the most interesting of all as he exposed his vocal talent with LL Cool J’s song “Mama Said Knock You Out.”

The clue that was associated with the masked celebrity could very well be pointed out towards Olympic multiple gold medalist Michael Phelps (Swimming), and Jeong thought precisely that. McCarthy went with DMX of “X Gon Give It to Ya” fame. Both Thicke and Scherzinger were imagining TechN9ne “Worldwide Choppers” rapper Busta Rhymes.

Snow Owls had a celebrity couple masked behind it. The female one gave a clue that it has been a while since the duo had been seen together on screen and this might be the time when they make an appearance together. The celebrity couples that were speculated by the judges included the likes of fresh Emmy winners Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara (Schitt’s Creek), Donny and Marie Osmond, and musical artists Amy Grant and Vince Gill.

The Dragon was guessed correctly by Thicke and Scherzinger as neither Phelps nor DMX came out of the costume, but it was the rapper himself “Busta Rhymes.”

The Masked Singer airs every Wednesday on Fox at 8 PM Eastern Time.

Source-What Happened on “The Masked Singer” Premiere

[the-master-cylinder]

The rise of Empire as a low budget producer with their “Beyond Infinity” video line resembles the start-up of AIP during the drive-in boom of the late ’50s, when a definite market existed for a certain product: films for the teenage audience, the wilder and more outrageous the better. The drive-ins “made” American-International Pictures, and like AIP, the VCR spurred Empire and other companies to produce films for a new market. But-having seen most of Empire’s Beyond Infinity offerings to date-one thing is obvious: unlike AIP, Empire lacks the creative genius of a low-budget auteur like Roger Corman. Imagination is not necessarily related to a film’s budget; low-budget films could be original, entertaining, and thought-provoking. But, Beyond Infinity’s releases thus far have proved to be inane, routine, and boring.

The Empire films follow a standard pattern: an exploitative, campy title; garish ad art; scripts which slavishly follow tried-and true formulas; varying amounts of nudity, gore effects, and juvenile humor. Of course, these traits apply equally well to the offerings of Empire’s competitors, particularly Troma Pictures, although Beyond Infinity product has a California pastel plasticity as opposed to Troma’s sleazy New York sheen. The fact that there is little of real interest to be found in any Beyond Infinity film certainly contributed to the commercial downfall of Empire and its video arm. Though the films themselves may not be completely devoid of entertainment value, most of the creativity seems to have gone into dreaming up the exploitable titles.

Dave DeCoteau, director of several projects released by Empire’s “Beyond Infinity” video label, pegged the fall of Band’s Empire to “the market place. It’s changed,” said DeCoteau. “There was a time that horror and fantasy fans saw just about anything that was made available on video. These days, quality prevails among genre movies, including films that are squarely made for direct-to-video release. You have to make the best movie you can and spend the money to do it right. If someone tries to pawn off a piece of shit, they’re shown the door.”

Reflecting on his three picture stint at Empire, DeCoteau said, “Charlie Band’s company was the young filmmaker’s first stop after college. There was a lot of experimentation as young people learned to work with low budgets. As a result, Empire wound up with a lot of product that was not all that wonderful. The company has been called the Sausage Factory of the Cinema. But you can’t keep making sausages, one after the other, sometimes a steak falls off the conveyor belt. Sometimes that steak is a picture like Stuart Gordon’s RE-ANIMATOR. There’s also a lot of sausages. Creepozoids is one of those sausages … but I’m learning.”

DeCoteau tied Empire’s loss of revenue to an aborted video output deal with New World Pictures, announced in August 1987, as the event which triggered Empire’s collapse. Over a two-year period, New World Video was to release five Empire titles, including Prison (1987), Cellar Dweller (1988), Buy & Cell (1988), Pulse Pounders (1988), and APPARATUS. “Empire made four of the pictures back to back,” said DeCoteau. “But because of the 1987 stock market crash, the deal between Empire and New World seemed to change; New World refused to pick up all of the Empire films as quickly as planned. They eventually released two of the films: PRISON, which had a limited theatrical run, and also CELLAR DWELLER, but the others are still being worked on.” Empire was purchased last May by Epic Pictures, a European financial consortium supervised by Eduard Sarlui, owner of Transworld Entertainment. “Basically, Empire and Transworld are owned by the same company,” said DeCoteau of the Epic umbrella. “Epic Pictures is finishing all the movies that Charlie [Band] started, which is a good dozen … ARENA, CATACOMBS, DOWN UNDER, SPELLCASTER, ROBOJOX.

DeCoteau, trained as a production assistant on films as diverse as ANGEL and Ken Russell’s CRIMES OF PASSION, made his debut as a producer-director with Empire on DREAMANIAC (1986), released on the company’s Wizard video label, distributed by Vestron. “I started pre-producing it as a picture called SUCCUBUS,” said DeCoteau. “Helen Robinson, who wrote the script knew the head of creative development at Empire Pictures, Debra Dion. Helen mentioned to Debi that she’d like to write a movie for Empire. Debi asked for a sample of her work and Helen gave her the SUCCUBUS script.” Empire, impressed with Robinson’s work, offered to purchase the screenplay; Robinson declined, insisting that De Coteau already owned it.

“Empire reacted by wanting to get involved in the production,” said DeCoteau. “Only four days before we were scheduled to start principal photography, I met Charlie Band, president of Empire Pictures.” Band not only doubled the movie’s original budget to $60,000, but vowed to reimburse DeCoteau for his personal investment “upon completion of principal photography.”

Wrapped in 15 days, the $70,000 movie was filmed in the abandoned studio of Hustler photographer Suze Randall. The film a blend of critters, slime and skin reunited DeCoteau with Kim McKamy, who made her film debut in DREAMANIAC. “Ironically,” remembers the director, “Kim refused to do any nudity. She was very shy and an all around sweet person.” McKamy later transformed herself into X-rated starlet Ashlyn Gere (aka Kim Patton), whose films-SORORITY SEX KITTENS, BUSH PILOTS, LAID IN HEAVEN—were about as demure as their titles.

“During a screening of the dailies,” recalls DeCoteau, “Charlie Band looked at me and held up ten fingers. I asked what it meant and he said, ‘Ten picture deal.’ I nearly fell out of my chair. We went upstairs, he drew up a contract and opened a $100 bottle of Dom Perignon champagne and we drank it out of Dixie cups. The next day, the cover of Daily Variety read in big bold letters, ‘CHV 10 PIC PACK DEAL WITH EMPIRE.’ [Cinema Home Video partner] John Schouweiler and I went crazy. I was only 25 years-old!

“Whenever Charles had big picture deals, I would be the slave to the market and make the smaller horror, erotic, high concept T&A movies…whatever was hot. I rarely did an ‘A’ movie for him, but I was constantly working.”

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DeCoteau’s subsequent project for Empire was CREEPOZOIDS, produced as a Beyond Infinity release for $169,000. “We wanted to do our own version of ALIENS,” said DeCoteau. “So we put together a picture called MUTANT SPAWN 2000 and I was developing a picture called CREEPOZOIDS, which was actually a hybrid of GREMLINS and GHOULIES. We just flip flopped the titles, referring to the ALIENS rip-off as CREEPOZOIDS.”

“I first met David when he worked as a caterer on a short film called THE CAYTONSVILLE ELEVEN,” says Linnea Quigley. “I was excited to work with him. There’s no huge ‘I’m a director’ ego. He’s not into himself. He’s a good businessman and he talks about stuff besides movies. He even had vegetarian food for me every day, and warm Sparklett’s water for my lusty shower scene in CREEPOZOIDS.”

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DeCoteau not only directed, but also functioned as the movie’s co producer and co writer. In spite of its diminutive budget, CREEPOZOIDS was theatrically released on a double-bill with SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY. The twin bill was released by Urban Classics, the theatrical arm of Empire’s Beyond Infinity video line. CREEPOZOIDS made the transition to video a few months later in January ’88, selling 15,000 tapes for Empire, according to DeCoteau.

DeCoteau’s next film for Empire, THE IMP, was limited to a shooting schedule of two weeks. Budgeted at $190,000, with ten per cent in above the line costs for DeCoteau’s expenses as director and co-producer, locations were selected outside of Los Angeles to conserve funds. “Los Angeles is the most expensive city in the world to make a movie,” said DeCoteau, “because of the permits, location costs, and everything like that. It’s hard to rent a basic middle-class tract house in the Valley for less than a grand a day. You have to go to places like San Marcos two hours south of Los Angeles–and you can get those same locations for $100 or $200. We found all of the cooperation there we really wanted.”

A moral (“be careful what you wish for, you may get it”) is extrapolated from the film’s title character, a mean-spirited genie. Since DeCoteau was not budgeted for elaborate special effects, he settled for a cable operated puppet to play the imp, preferring Grimm’s Fairy Tale simplicity to a “realistic” interpretation. Nevertheless, the movie proved to be so ambitious that the production exceeded its budget; extra expenses came out of DeCoteau’s own pocket.

“If we went over budget, our salaries were on the line,” said DeCoteau of Empire’s modus operandi. “So I walked away from THE IMP with very little money because I ended up spending some of my own salary on pick-up shots and things like that. Charlie (Band) isn’t the type to write you a check if you go over budget; you decide on a budget, you shake his hand, and either bring it in on budget or you don’t work anymore. I didn’t make much on that film, but such is life.”

In the film. Michelle Bauer, acquitted herself not only as a B-movie sex kitten but as a thoroughly credible actress and sterling comedienne. “David has a keen sense for people,” says Bauer. “There’s a side of him which is completely understanding. He’s more relaxed than most directors, and likes to have fun. When he was under pressure, it didn’t seem to affect the cast. He kept it under control. We were having fun as friends. It never seemed like we were working at all.”

Nevertheless, production of SORORITY BABES shot during evenings in a San Diego mall and adjacent bowling alley-was sometimes grueling. “There were personal conflicts among, some of the cast,” recalls Stevens. “The late Robin Rochelle Stille drank way too much on the set, and was always beating the crap out of Linnea in their fight scenes. Poor Linnea was constantly applying muscle rub to her many livid bruises. And she had to deal with the teenage angst of young co-star Andras Jones in the room next door. He even dumped his mattress over the hotel balcony, irrationally screaming, ‘I’m in my sexual prime!’ Andras went on to become a rather famous folk singer.”

Stevens experienced her own trauma, “dealing with another actress who clearly felt threatened by me and spared no punches while shooting our fight scenes. She pushed me down so hard, I dislocated my knee, which I had to pop back into place myself.” DeCoteau recounts, “It wasn’t pretty. She had to take four days off, but was a trouper…did her job without complaint.”

Flying furniture and torn ligaments notwithstanding, the set was infused with a party panache. “It’s the only film I’ve directed where I was continuously drunk,” chuckles DeCoteau, “— many people were! It had an open bar that we put to good use.”

“It’s one of my favorite films,” says Quigley, “because I played a tough girl and kept my clothes on. It’s fun to be mean.”

Charlie’s father, Albert Band, head of production at Empire, startled DeCoteau by insisting that nudity, playfully performed for slapstick scenes, “must” be trimmed from the director’s cut of the movie. DeCoteau, realizing nudity is a commercial exponent of the exploitation formula, appealed to Charles Band. Band inquired about the running time that was assembled for the movie’s rough cut. “I told him we were well under 80 minutes,” said DeCoteau, “When I shoot a picture, rarely does the final footage pass the 80-minute length. So they can’t do much editing because a feature-length film shouldn’t run that short. As a result, Charlie told me to put the nude scenes back in.”

Band retitled the picture SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA (according to DeCoteau, Band had wanted to make it BITCHIN’ SORORITY BABES … ) and released it theatrically through Urban Classics on a double bill with GALACTIC GIGOLO (originally titled CLUB EARTH), directed by Gorman Bechard.

Like DeCoteau, Bechard was another Band discovery whose independently financed feature PSYCHOS IN LOVE was picked up by Empire for release. Unlike DeCoteau, Bechard had nothing good to say about his stint at Band’s company. “I know what it’s like to be raped, “said Bechard about producing and directing two other features for Empire.

For his next feature, PSYCHOS IN LOVE, a black comedy (a “working woman” addresses the camera with “I guess I thought me being both a manicurist and a psychotic killer would, well, turn a guy off”), Bechard chose to ally himself with Empire.

“They offered me what I thought at the time was a good advance for PSYCHOS IN LOVE,” said Bechard. “I didn’t know better. And they offered me a four-picture deal with it, as an enticement to give them PSYCHOS IN LOVE. When you’re an independent filmmaker, finding the money is the worst thing in the world, and here I was able to do four pictures and pretty much have control. Charlie Band gave me tons of wonderful promises, saying, “Well, you can come up here, assist in the editing …,’ and all these other lines of bullshit. Being basically a fellow who wanted this very badly, I believed everything he said.”

CLUB EARTH, the first of Bechard’s four-picture deal with Empire, was an omen of the discord and mistrust that would sour the relationship. Bechard conceived the movie as a social satire involving an intergalactic tourist. Empire preferred to push CLUB EARTH as GALACTIC GIGOLO, and re-edited Bechard’s original cut into their concept of a more exploitable product.

“When I gave them PSYCHOS IN LOVE, I had it in writing that they wouldn’t change it at all,” said Bechard. “If I had not done that, they probably would have raped that film and it would have never been a film that I’m proud of. I am proud of PSYCHOS IN LOVE. But I think GALACTIC GIGOLO was sodomized by Charlie Band. We filmed it as a non-animated adult cartoon. That was my concept. We used the brightest colors … I mean, every different set looked like a color cartoon frame from the Sunday paper. In [color] timing the film, [Empire] took out all of the colors and left it really flat and ugly. Their editing and pacing is nothing short of pathetic; they left out some wonderfully funny stuff, and they left in all of the shit. Their motto is ‘when in doubt, cut to a pair of tits.’ I found out that CLUB EARTH was retitled GALACTIC GIGOLO through a brochure from Empire’s Urban Classics; they never had the decency to tell me they were changing the name of my movie.”

Bechard’s next film for Empire, a black comedy titled TEENAGE SLASHER SLUTS, was presold by the company in foreign markets as Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988). “They found the word ‘sluts’ to be offensive,” said Bechard of Empire’s logic behind the title change. “And then they go and propose two other movies with the word ‘sluts’ in the title!” Empire eventually completed Bechard’s movie under the title HACK ‘EM HIGH, turning over the ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS title to DeCoteau.

“That title presold so well, at [1987’s] American Film Market, it actually scored better than the movies in Empire’s bigger budgeted, non-Infinity division,” said DeCoteau. “Gorman Bechard completed the movie and set up a screening for Empire. It turned out to be a disappointment. Let’s just say that Gorman’s movie did not justify all of the enthusiasm. ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS had to be brilliant, or close to it, considering the enormous presales money that was attracted from its title.”

Bechard said he deserves some of the credit for the title’s fabulous presales at the AFM, having instigated an eye-catching spread on the film in People magazine which featured Ruth Collins and Debi Thibeault, the actresses in his version. Bechard laid the blame for Empire’s dissatisfaction with the final film to the manner in which Band ran his company.

Charlie [Band] never read the script,” said Bechard. “I had the script approved by David Ross, who used to be in Empire’s development department, and by Debra Dion, who is now Charlie’s wife. I have a written letter from David Ross which says, ‘Yeh, we like the script. Just make a couple of little changes here and there.’ Basically, we agreed that it was good. Afterwards, I started filming and almost two or three weeks after we wrapped, Charlie calls me up and said he finally read the script. He said he didn’t like it. I don’t know how you run a company and allow someone to use your money to make a film without ever having read the script. That, to me, is not really the way to do business but, again, Empire is not the way to do business. When it became HACK EM HIGH, I said, ‘Wait a minute, there’s no hacking and there’s no high school.’ Of course, they came up with some new scenes that we had to reshoot which were along the lines of the usual Empire quality.”

While Empire fobbed off Bechard’s film as HACK ‘EM HIGH to foreign buyers at Milan’s Mifed Film Market, ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS, scheduled for imminent release and eagerly awaited by distributors, existed as nothing more than a concept. Empire frantically searched for an existing script that would qualify as an adaptation of their most exploitable title.

Charles Band gave up WIZARD VIDEO after he ended his deal with VESTRON. WIZARD was distributed by LIGHTENING which was owned by VESTRON and when he left that deal and went over to NEW WORLD VIDEO which then he only released one movie with them, he started a new label called URBAN CLASSICS which he would handle the physical distribution eternally. He wouldn’t do a label deal and the first released was SLAVEGIRLS and that was doing pretty well and CREEPZOIDS was doing pretty well. And they were doing okay and then they started to make these movies back in Connecticut and they were making them cheaper in Connecticut than they were here in LA. They even had a guy out in New York, Tim Kincaid, who was making movies and those weren’t that bad. But there was a guy in Connecticut named Gorman Bechard who I guess was not only producing, writing, and directing, he was the cameraman and he did lights. And he was making these 35mm movies for only $30,000. Charlie was going wow, I got this great deal. And I was saying, Charlie if you want to give me $30,000 I’ll give you $30,000 but it’s going to look like $30,000. But give me $75,000 – $90,000 and you’ll get better movies. But anyway. Gorman did his first movie and what happened was this major snafu with ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS. It was pre-sold with huge amounts of numbers and the URBAN CLASSICS films were presented to foreign buyers as pictures made between $1-2 million. He was showing these films to people overseas after he made them to the movie here and I brought in another director, Anita Rosenberg, who at the time didn’t think she knew what she was doing. But it ended up being the best of the URBAN CLASSICS movies. – Director Dave DeCoteau on the start of URBAN CLASSICS

A serviceable script, described by DeCoteau as a “generic but cute girls-on-the run” adventure, was considered from screenwriter Anita Rosenberg, who had previously written MODERN GIRLS for Atlantic Pictures. DeCoteau postponed his preparation of Beyond Infinity’s SPACE SLUTS IN THE SLAMMER to direct the movie. Rosenberg, however, demanded complete autonomy.

Anita Rosenberg

According to DeCoteau, “Rosenberg told Empire, ‘Sure, I’ll sell you the script for 100 grand.’ I said, ‘What do you mean, 100 grand? We pay five grand per script!’ She said, “I’ll sell it to you for five grand if you let me direct it.’ I said, “What other films have you done?’ She said, ‘Nothing, though I have done a short film.’ Empire looked at her short film, thought it was adequate enough, and agreed to let Rosenberg direct it.” DeCoteau was hired as producer for “double the usual budget and triple his customary salary.

Though he was reimbursed for services rendered on GALACTIC GIGOLO and HACK ‘EM HIGH, Bechard claims he was shortchanged on the proceeds from PSYCHOS IN LOVE. “We were promised wonderful percentages of the gross, not of the net, on the film,” said Bechard. “I made sure they couldn’t pull any accounting tricks. But they did pull a great accounting trick; they just never bothered reporting to us. We were supposed to be getting quarterly statements and checks. We never got anything. My letters to Charlie Band, complaining about this situation, and the shabby treatment of my films, were ignored.”

A forthcoming documentary by Kathy Milani, B-MOVIE, traces the production of HACK ‘EM HIGH from the film’s preproduction phase to Band’s phone call alerting Bechard of Empire’s resistance to his adaptation of “a script that Band, up to that point, had not read.” Bechard promises B-MOVIE will enlighten prospective filmmakers to the hazards of low-budget filmmaking. (Milani is currently seeking completion funds and or grants.)

Meanwhile, Bechard is also exorcising his frustrations with Empire through a manual titled “Assault of the Independent Filmmaker;” as the book’s author, Bechard vowed to “paint a no holds-barred picture of the making of each of my films, from the detailed budgets to the whole filming process, to dealing with not-always reputable distributors and investors. Filmmaking is, unfortunately, the sleaziest business in the world, and it bothers me that I can’t picture myself doing anything else.”

When Empire hit the financial skids last year, some theatrical projects like GHOULIES II and CELLAR DWELLER went straight to home video while others were shelved as incomplete. For a company that in the past boasted production agendas cluttered with a dozen titles pegged as either in production “or” in preparation,” in 1988 Empire launched only one-Dave DeCoteau’s Dr. Alien (1989) (I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant), started on a budget of $400.000. The company folded before production was finished.

But Band opened up shop again late last year, calling his new operation the Bandcompany, like Empire specializing in international sales, with a video line dubbed Phantom Home Video, and a production arm called Full Moon Productions. Band’s first announced project was Edgar Allan Poe’s THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, to be directed by Stuart Gordon. “He’s back into making pictures,” said DeCoteau. “He won’t be making as many and they won’t be as cheap.”

When Band jumped ship from Empire, his deal to sell the company gave him ownership of a trio of productions, according to DeCoteau. Band used the films, including DeCoteau’s I WAS A TEENAGE SEX MUTANT, THE INTRUDER (formerly NIGHT CREW), and JUNGLE HEAT (formerly PIRANHA WOMEN) to form his new company and subsequently negotiated a contract with Paramount Home Video for their release. I WAS A TEENAGE SEX MUTANT, now retitled DR. ALIEN!, was scheduled to be released in November.

Interview with Dave DeCoteau

Looking back on the beginning of your career, how would you appraise Dreamaniac? Dave DeCoteau: Dreamaniac was an experiment; it was my little film school project, wrapped up in ten days. It was like learning how to do it, and learning how do it quickly, because I only had ten days to learn a career’s worth of information and make a decent movie. It was made on a $60,000 budget.

The ending of Dreamaniac-with the abrupt disclosure of a succubus as a mental patient-seems like a postproduction afterthought. Who was responsible for the cop-out compromise? Dave DeCoteau: Me. I decided to go with kind of a triple-twist ending, just for the hell of it, since the film had nothing else to offer.

Your films have gotten even more exposure on cable TV, what with broadcasts on USA, Pay-Per-View… Dave DeCoteau: But, you know, Creepozoids and Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl A-Rama did better, during their original release, in foreign territories than domestically. We were well received in Britain. Creepozoids was number seven on the Top Ten Selling-Rental charts during the month of its release; The Untouchables was number eight! Sorority Babes, released in the United Kingdom as The Imp, did almost as good business as Creepozoids.

What’s the background of Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama, your most unique movie? Dave DeCoteau: Charlie (Band) wanted, a “little genie” movie to be called The Imp. I came in the next day, and read off five story lines. The fifth one was a joke, never intended to be taken seriously, about a little genie that was squished inside a bowling trophy back in the 50s and unleashed upon some sorority babes and fraternity initiates on Hell Night. Charlie liked that concept more than any of the other ones, and we decided to go with it.

There’s a frantic chase scene, near the conclusion of Sorority Babes, without music on the soundtrack. Was this intentional or an accidental omission? Dave DeCoteau: The music channel of the entire Reel Seven did not make it to the one inch video master. When you do a final mix on a picture, you mix sound on three stripes-the dialogue, the music, and a (sound) effects track. You do the video mastering by taking your film, and your three channels of sound, and putting them onto broadcast-quality one-inch video tape for half-inch duplication. When they transferred the entire show, they accidentally forgot to drop the music channel from Reel Seven; they only transferred two channels, the dialogue and effects. The music’s omission marred the film. Fifteen or twenty-thousand copies of the tape went out without the musical channel on Reel Seven, which is the climax of the film and (originally) had an incredible musical score. I was very upset because Empire, at the time, did not let me quality control the one-inch masters. First-time viewers of Sorority Babes may prefer to hum their own theme.

Tell me where did you come up with the title SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIME BOWL-O-RAMA? Dave DeCoteau: I didn’t come up with the title. It was shot as THE IMP and Charlie Band came up with the title. He had a little I fun to watch. The experience was a lot of fun, Making movies is never really been that much fun. The two best days of making a movie is the day you get the financing and the rap party. And everything between is a pain in the fucking ass. You always have to compromise, you can’t do exactly what you want to do. Because the budgets are so low the schedules are tight and you can’t always get the actors you want and you get the actor, you could only use him for a couple days and you can’t use him for any overtime. The process is real tough. And I think PUPPETMASTER III as being my best film in most people’s eyes but just had a horrendous time making that film.

Which of your pre-Doctor Alien (1989) films is your favorite? Dave DeCoteau: I have to admit I have this bizarre affection for Creepozoids, I don’t know what it is, but when I was making that film I really took it deadly serious and expected it to be a lot better than it was. The reviews have been horrible, but-God!-every time I show it to somebody, they kind of, like, smile. It’s actually a serious attempt, whereas all the other films we’ve been doing seem to be a little campy or silly.

Didn’t Creepozoids get positive reviews in Europe? Dave DeCoteau: Excellent reviews! The United Kingdom is asking for a sequel and they’re ready to cut a check to finance it. Unfortunately, I don’t have the sequel rights to that film, so I probably won’t do it.

You made some of your past films for under $200,000. What was the budget on Doctor Alien? Dave DeCoteau: About $400,000. It’s a home video, a damn good example of direct-to-video product. I love it. It’s a very entertain. ing film for me, and everyone seems to enjoy it. The only problem about not releasing it theatrically is that it is a comedy, and comedies work very well with large audiences. I’m going to screen it for the Science Fiction Academy here, and for a few other people.

Why did you choose a more mainstream celebrity-Judy Landers-for Doctor Alien and Ghost Writer? Dave DeCoteau: When we were casting for the Doctor Alien role of Ms. Xenobia, we wanted to go with a Mary Woronov type. Well, we auditioned hundreds of Mary Woronov, Barbara Steele and Caroline Munroe types, and we realized it just didn’t work the way it was written… it wasn’t funny. So I said, “Let’s bring Judy in for a hoot.” I just wanted to meet the girl. She came in with the scenes memorized and gave us a reading, and we were falling on the floor laughing our heads off. She played it so wonderful, and so funny, that she was perfect for the part.

With the exception of your first film, Dreamaniac, your movies have avoided the “sex begets violence” syndrome. Did you consciously reject this routine premise? Dave DeCoteau: Yeah… women are not victims in my films. A female victim in my films is very, very rare. Women are the aggressors in my movies, they’re the ones who save the day. Look at Linnea Quigley in Sorority Babes: she never showed a nipple and she kicked ass, and she saved the day…

The History of Empire Films Part Five The rise of Empire as a low budget producer with their “Beyond Infinity” video line resembles the start-up of AIP during the drive-in boom of the late '50s, when a definite market existed for a certain product: films for the teenage audience, the wilder and more outrageous the better.

[itsworn]

10th Anniversary Muscle Car and Corvette Nationals: Greatest Muscle Car Show on the Planet

The Muscle Car and Corvette Nationals (MCACN) has become a dynasty in automotive entertainment. No other muscle car show comes close to the annual gathering of the faithful in Chicago on that crisp weekend just prior to Thanksgiving. The rise to glory could not have been scripted better, with a cast as colorful and charismatic as any Hollywood blockbuster. It’s been my privilege to attend every one of the MCACN shows, and the 10th Anniversary MCACN gives rise to a few subjective observations that might translate to significant life lessons.

First: Success takes hard work and commitment to goals and objectives that you believe to be worthwhile. MCACN show manager Bob Ashton, his wonderful wife Vicki, and the MCACN Board believed that they could build the greatest muscle car show on the planet. Ten years after, the thousands of people who have now included MCACN on their yearly calendar of events have proved the Ashtons and the MCACN partners correct.

The spotlight of MCACN X was on the Scat Pack and Rapid Transit System Invitational Showcase that featured the Dodge Scat Pack cars from 1968 to 1971, and the Plymouth Rapid Transit System cars from 1970 to 1972. The foreground shows Ricky Greer’s 1971 Road Runner equipped with the 440+6 engine, A34 Super Track Pack, and N96 Fresh Air Package. The Scat Pack/RTS showcase was bolstered by an incredible art display presented by Jim Secreto and Ken Hanna.

Three of the four Rapid Transit System Caravan cars were together for the Scat Pack/RTS Invitational. These three cars were sourced from the late Steven Juliano collection. (See our Feb. 2019 issue for complete coverage of this landmark display of historic Mopar cars and memorabilia; bit.ly/2LkIDHq)

MUSCLE CAR REVIEW editor Drew Hardin was among the journalists and other guests asked to award a pick from the show. Impressed by Jim Kramer’s 1968 BO29 and LO23 Hemi Super Stock Cars Invitational, Hardin gave his award to Pete and Jack Toms’ 1968 Hemi Dart called That Dart. The two brothers are the original owners of this highly original car, which has never been tubbed, still wears its first paint job from 1968, and sports a working emergency brake and emergency flashers. Bucky Hess and his son, Travis, brought the car to MCACN for the Toms and accepted his award on their behalf.

Second: One can never rest on one’s laurels. The show began with the priority that no muscle car, no matter how awesome, would be in the show more than two consecutive years. The MCACN partners knew that “same as last year” reviews would bring certain death to the venture. In some respects, bringing back some of the muscle cars presented in the first few years of MCACN could be justified. But Ashton and the MCACN partners have never faltered in presenting fresh offerings to keep the show from getting stale. Ten years after, muscle car enthusiasts anxiously await what next year’s MCACN will produce.

Third: You can always do better than your best effort. When the 27 of the 42 Hemi E-Body convertibles showed up at MCACN VII, the conventional wisdom was that there was no way MCACN could ever be better (“MCACN Resets Perfection,” Mar. 2016; bit.ly/2BoAg9k). The thought was Ashton had made the show so good that the following year would certainly be a letdown. But MCACN VIII was even better (“Great at 8,” Mar. 2017; bit.ly/2QYhlMk). When I would ask Bob how he could top the 27 Hemi E-Body convertibles, he was genuinely convinced that the next MCACN would be better, and it was. Ten years after, MCACN continues to reach for the better show.

An overarching 10th Anniversary observation boils down to MCACN’s formula for success: It has always been about the people. MCACN breathes life into the simple philosophy that, while on the surface this muscle car obsession is about the cars, it’s really about the people. There were so many times over the 10 years that Ashton would describe an incredible muscle car find, and then quickly brag up how great the owner was. Ten years after, that genuine friendship and respect continue to be infectious.

Yours truly was also given the privilege of awarding a MCACN pick. I chose John Kennealy’s 1970 F-85 W-31 Oldsmobile. The car was fresh from restoration, shod with Motor Wheel Spyders and Firestone Drag 500s out back, and dressed in Sherwood Green, the best 1970 Oldsmobile color ever offered.

MCACN was abuzz with the unveiling of this 1969 Hurst/Olds prototype. The proposed rear wing and the gold stripe continuation over the backlight never made production. The “Forced Air” hood was familiar, but also unique. As a featured Premiere Unveiling, this car was the talk of the show.

The crowds stormed the highly anticipated unveiling of the Shelby double-prototype 1968 EXP 500 Green Hornet, owned by Craig Jackson. Painstakingly restored to be as authentic as possible, down to the fuel injection and independent rear suspension, the Hornet will be featured in an upcoming issue.

The formula for creating the world’s greatest muscle car show is simple. Get about half a dozen brilliant business professionals who are passionate about muscle cars, who are never satisfied with their past achievements, who never lose focus, who never stop reaching, and who know the importance of treating people with respect and friendship. Then you can also have the most successful muscle car show in history, even 10 years after.

MCACN Decade One is in the can. It’s been a good start. Prepare for MCACN Decade Two.

Editor’s note: You can start preparation by marking November 23-24, 2019, in your calendar as the dates for the next MCACN show. Visit mcacn.com for full results of the 10th Anniversary show and information on the 11th.

Thanks to Brian Henderson of the Super Car Workshop (for bringing Rick Thayer’s Chevy II Nova), and car owners Jim Kramer (Hemi Barracuda) and David Garton (Cobra Jet Mustang), our Nov. 2018 cover story came to life at MCACN (“1968 Super Stock Cars”; bit.ly/2S7mUVU).

This 1969 Ford Boss 429 (Kar Kraft No. 1225) was the first Maroon Boss 429 produced by Kar Kraft, and the 10th car invoiced in the Kar Kraft production line. The Boss 429 was restored by Dave Riley at Vintage 60’s Restoration, with body and paint work handled by Nyle Wing at Wings Auto Art. Ed Meyer and Bob Perkins contributed technical support during the restoration. The Boss 429 retains its born-with drivetrain.

The Class of 1968 Invitational Showcase included Tom Mackey’s stellar 1968 Hemi GTX convertible. It is one of 36 produced for U.S. distribution, and one of eight known to exist today. It comes complete with all original body panels and floors, and is dressed in the original color combination with blackout hood treatment.

Dave Heilala from Brighton, Michigan, is the original owner of this 1968 W-31 Ram Rod. In 1968, he worked in engineering for Oldsmobile. He was able to supervise the production of this Ocean Turquoise car, and then drive it off the assembly line. His Olds is equipped with a Muncie M20 four-speed transmission and 3.91 gears. He drag raced the car for 20 years in the Pure Stock Muscle Car Drags, where his best e.t. was 13.40 at 105.11 mph.

The MASCAR 1970 Sunflower Yellow Yenko Deuce shop car is slated for a concours day-two restoration this coming year, and will debut at the 2019 MCACN show. Plans call for a vintage all-aluminum 427 ZL1 motor that would put the Deuce in the 9s without tubbing the car.

The 1968 Hurst/Olds Invitational Showcase was highlighted by Joe Spagnoli’s incredible Hurst/Olds Demonstrator four-speed convertible. This car was often used at motorsports events, with Linda Vaughn riding out back on a platform that transported the enormous and iconic Hurst Shifter display.

Brian Henderson from Super Car Workshop organized the 1968 Chevy II Nova Super Sport Invitational MCACN Showcase that had included Rick Thayer’s Fred Gibb/Dick Harrell Chevy II until we stole it for the MCR “Cover Come to Life” Showcase. Super Car Workshop restored the beautiful red Chevy II Nova Super Sport 427 conversion car. Super Car Restoration perfected the body, with metal work performed by Joe Griffith and paint by Jamie Cooper.

Ajesh Parikh assembled the Buick GSX-tasy Invitational Showcase. Examples of the 1970 GSX in the two colors offered that year, Apollo White and Saturn Yellow, were displayed, as were cars wearing five of the six colors available in 1971. One of the 44 GSX cars built in 1972 was on hand, as was the 1970 Buick GSX prototype that had been displayed in various exhibits in 1969.

According to owner Darryl Wischnewsky, Plymouth made 108 440 Six Barrel ’Cuda cars with the D21 A833 four-speed transmission, and his is one of them. The B2 Glacial Blue ’Cuda is equipped with a number of desirable options, including the A34 Super Track Pack, N96 Shaker hood, and Backlight Louvers. Apex Autosports restored the never-rusted E-Body in 2017.

In 1972, Randall Motors in Mesa, Arizona, built 12 or 13 Gremlins with an AMC 401 V-8 transplant. Bob and Denise Hoogstra had Scott Tiemann at Supercar Specialties restore their Randall Gremlin X. Speed parts include an Edelbrock intake, 750-cfm Holley carburetor, Hooker headers, and 4.10 Sure Grip axle. Stewart-Warner gauges keep the driver informed. If AMC had built Gremlins like this one, it would still be in business today.

That is original owner George Krem standing by the “Plain Brown Wrapper” 1964 Studebaker Lark Challenger. Krem’s car has competed at The Pure Stock Muscle Car Drag Race 18 times from 1998 through 2018. Best-ever elapsed time is a 12.61 at 114.03 mph. The Studebaker is powered by a supercharged R3 304ci/335hp engine mated to a T10 close-ratio four-speed transmission and 4.27 Twin Traction differential.

Gobi Beige never looked better than on Mick Price’s 1970 Yenko Deuce. The Deuce was sold new through the legendary Yenko Chevrolet dealership in Canonsburg, Pennsylvania. It is one of only 176 produced in 1970. Power comes from a 350ci/360hp LT-1 small-block featuring an 11:1 compression ratio, a solid-lifter camshaft, and a 780-cfm Holley carburetor. A close-ratio M21 four-speed manual transmission made for fun times with this small-block screamer.

Justin Hargrave restored the 1969 Plymouth GTX that his dad owned before he passed in 2012. He said that his dad was his best friend and instilled in him a love for muscle cars. The GTX impeccable, powered by a 440 four-barrel that spins the A833 four-speed transmission. The Track Pack option includes the Dana 60 with 3.54 gears, while the heavy-duty suspension helps plant power to the road. His dad would have been proud.

As we were producing the Feb. 2019 issue, which included John Chencharick’s 1970 Torino Cobra SportsRoof (“Ford’s Better Idea”; bit.ly/2GlwaEF), we spotted the 429 Cobra Jet-powered Ford at MCACN. The bright yellow and black Torino Cobra is set up for the open road with a C6 automatic transmission and a Traction-Lok 9-inch rearend with 3.00 gears.

Troy Angelly brought an unrestored original 1966 Coronet 440 with the optional 426 Hemi engine and TorqueFlite automatic transmission. The car was purchased at Andis Motors Inc. in Greenfield, Indiana. It was equipped with the Sure Grip differential and padded visors.

Brad VanHemert brought out the Malibeater MCR project car. Midwest Muscle Cars built the car, complete with a Chevrolet Performance ZZ427 with relic detailing, an M22 Muncie four-speed transmission, and a 4.10 12-Bolt Positraction rear. It was good to see an old friend. The car. I can call Brad any time.

Bill Jelinek from Rt. 66 Motorsports in New Lenox, Illinois, brought out Wally Staszko’s 1966 Chevy II Nova L79 four-speed Sport Coupe. The L79 car was raced at US 30, and was exercised on the street until 1973. It went into hibernation, and was just recently brought back to life by Jelinek and the crew at Rt. 66 Motorsports. The exterior and interior are 95 percent original, with a touch of day-two speed parts to keep things interesting.

Everyone who attends MCACN should play the what-one-car-would-I-want-to-drive-home game. My choice would be this 1968 Tuxedo Black L72 Biscayne. This incredible factory sleeper is unrestored, with 720 actual miles on the clock. It is powered by the 427-inch, 425hp L72 engine backed by a Muncie four-speed transmission and 3.55 Positraction rear.

1970 Superbird, Mike Fitzgerald The Chrysler wing cars, the 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona and the 1970 Plymouth Superbird, have long piqued the interest of many. They recall a day of stock car racing when games were played and deception was employed to gain advantage. Unearthing mysteries and rumors about these cars has been sport for many racing fans.

For example, the scoops on the front fenders were not functional on the street car. They were functional on the race cars, though, with holes cut open underneath reportedly for tire clearance. But Chrysler had found that the scoops served as air extractors that reduced drag by 3 percent. Altering a fender for tire clearance was legal in NASCAR, but creating an air extractor in a fender was not.

Many people have theorized that the crazy rear wing was high in order to clear the trunk opening. However, John Pointer, the Chrysler engineer who conceived the wing and the nosecone, did not care about the trunk opening. He put the wing up high in order to get it into clean air. By doing so, racers could make proper adjustments for effective downforce at high speeds without having to deal with the turbulence coming off the roof.

The 1970 Plymouth Superbird owned by Mike Fitzgerald is a recent acquisition for him. Previously it belonged to the owner of a pizzeria in New Lenox, Illinois, who had stuffed it away for a future restoration. Unfortunately, he passed away before realizing that goal, and Fitzgerald bought the car. He then sent it to Magnum Auto Restoration in LaSalle, Illinois. I had seen the car while it was undergoing metal surgery, and, to put it mildly, it was not an easy task. But it was one of the Premiere Unveilings at MCACN this year, to the delight of Mopar wing car fans from all over the world.

The signature front nosecone and huge rear wing were installed on the 1970 Road Runner to woo Richard Petty back to Plymouth. It worked.

Mark Sekula and his crew at Magnum Auto Restoration did a magnificent job restoring this Corporate Blue Superbird. The car required a good deal of metalwork, but Magnum is no stranger to a challenge.

Mike Fitzgerald’s wing car is powered by a 440 Six Barrel engine that was rated at 390 hp. A 727 TorqueFlite transmission and an 8 3/4 rear with 3.55 gears complete the drivetrain.

Interior is the basic Road Runner, with console, 150-mph speedometer, 8,000-rpm Tic Toc Tach, and floor shifter.

Of the 1,920 Superbirds built, fewer than 50 were painted Corporate Blue, and only 30 are known to exist. The street cars had the scoops installed like the race cars, but they were not functional.

1970 ’Cuda 440 Six Barrel, Darryl Wischnewski Apex Autosports presented Darryl Wischnewski’s 1970 ’Cuda as one of the 2018 MCACN Premier Unveilings. The Apex Autosports team performed the complete rotisserie restoration in 2017 and 2018, under the watchful eye of owner Andrew White. Apex is a rising star in Midwest, having presented high-quality restoration work on very special Mopars in the past few years at MCACN.

Power for Wischnewski’s 1970 ’Cuda comes from the E87 440 Six Barrel 390hp engine. The ’Cuda had spent some time at the dragstrip, so part of the restoration included returning the car to OE standards. Having seen the Apex facility firsthand, it is immediately evident that its cars are right. The Black Velvet paint on this ’Cuda is hypnotic.

Speaking of commitment to excellence in restoration, many might be concerned about the roadworthiness of a newly restored muscle car. Apex is a shop that cares about the details. It has a chassis dyno that helps the crew dial in all the powertrain systems. The attention to detail and care for the final drivable product is something that speaks of a commitment to excellence.

The laser-straight TX9 Black Velvet paint on the 1970 ’Cuda is better that what Ma Mopar ever produced. But because the paint is a single-stage enamel, it does appear to be closer to factory appearance than the modern two-stage process.

Darryl Wischnewski’s ’Cuda is equipped with the highly desirable A34 Super Track Pack with 4.10 gears. The D21 A833 HD four-speed transmission makes for fun gear-banging acceleration tests.

The 440 Six Barrel engine in the black engine compartment, highlighted by the big Shaker hood, is sheer artwork. Once the Shaker is removed, it reveals the beautiful three-two-barrel induction system. The entire presentation is spotless, and dialed in prior to final delivery to the customer.

The striking H6XW high-grade white vinyl interior with the C55 white front bucket seats provides a stark contrast to the Black Velvet paint. Options include the R22 AM/eight-track radio, J25 three-speed wipers, and four-speed Pistol Grip shifter with no console.

Exterior features include dog dish hubcaps, W25 HD stamped-steel wheels, U82 Goodyear Polyglas GT E60-15 tires, M26 wheel-lip moldings, and gold Pentastar emblem.

1962 Catalina Super Duty, Duane Strohschein If one were to open the annals of automotive history in the 1950s and 1960s, there would be a record of economy runs or performance trials among oil companies and auto manufacturers. Economy runs would be organized typically by oil companies to offer objective information on a vehicle’s performance, fuel economy, and braking ability. The automotive manufacturers competed to rise above other brands.

The Mobilgas Economy Run was probably the most famous, though other companies certainly were involved. Not surprisingly, the long game for the oil companies was the promotion of their products to a car-crazy generation. Automotive manufacturers would benefit when their particular model outperformed the competition.

Economy runs and performance trials might involve a long road trip to gather data on a vehicle’s capabilities, or it might be hosted at a particular race track for various tests and trials. The Pure Oil Performance Trials of 1962 were held at Daytona International Speedway. Pontiac sent the featured 1962 Pontiac Catalina Super Duty to compete. The Super Duty Pontiac did very well, scoring the highest percentage of potential points for all classes and events.

Duane Strohschein was thrilled to discover the history of his 1962 Catalina, which he had found in a Michigan junkyard. He concluded that only the very best restoration would do for this very special Pontiac. He enlisted the services of Scott Tiemann and the team at Supercar Specialties. The Pontiac was restored to as-participated condition at the Performance and Economy Trials at Daytona.

Duane Strohschein had Scott Tiemann perform a “no compromise” restoration on this one-of-24 1962 Catalina Super Duty sedan. Strohschein participated in the process, sourcing the best parts and components that could be found.

Though large by today’s standards, the big Catalina fared well when it participated in competition. The Super Duty Catalina was equipped with special aluminum front brake drums and a 4.30 Traction Lock axle.

The 1962 Pontiac Super Duty 421 engine was conservatively rated at 405 hp at 5,600 rpm and 425 lb-ft of torque at 4,400 rpm. The four-bolt-main block was equipped with a forged-steel crankshaft, forged-steel connecting rods, a solid-lifter cam, and forged pistons that produced a healthy 11:1 compression ratio. Twin 625-cfm carburetors fed the beast. Note the heat block-off panel on the firewall.

Bench seats, a steering-column-mounted tachometer, and the four-speed shifter lend an all-business feel to the interior.

Strohschein found the Catalina in a junkyard in Michigan in August 2011. Upon its discovery, he and Scott Tiemann embarked on the hunt for genuine parts and equipment to bring the Pontiac back to life.

1971 Mustang Mach 1 429 Super Cobra Jet, Stefano Bimbi The majority of automotive enthusiasts will cite the 1971 Mustang, with its longer and more portly dimensions, as a tragic redesign. I call it Mustang’s best year. Radical styling cues, including the almost-flat backlight, turned off many customers. Others believe the 1971 Mustang, especially when equipped with the 429 Super Cobra Jet engine, was pure big-block Pony perfection. Growing popularity among collectors seems to indicate that the 1971 Mustang has gotten better with age.

The 1971 Mustang offered the best performance selections ever available. True, the Boss 429 was gone, but in its place the customer who knew his way around the order sheet could be driving the potent Boss 351 with factory-rated 330 hp. The new-for-1971 429 Super Cobra Jet, even in the heftier Mustang, was an impressive performer. As an aside, no car wears a set of Magnum 500s better than a 1971 Mustang fastback.

Stefano Bimbi of Nickey Performance heard that the second owner of this factory black 1971 Mustang Mach 1 429 SCJ was interested in selling. The 429 SCJ car came with a numbers-matching drivetrain, Drag Pack option, and all original metal. Bimbi had a friend check the car out, and ran the Marti report for verification. He discovered the car was one of 531 equipped with the 429 SCJ engine/Drag Pack option, and one of only 351 four-speed versions.

Stefano Bimbi of Nickey Performance discovered this two-owner 1971 429 Super Cobra Jet Mach 1 in California. Upon purchase, he immediately sent it over to MASCAR Classics in Costa Mesa, California, for a complete concours restoration.

Although the Mach 1 did not have this wing on it from the factory, Bimbi was told that the original owner had the wing installed after purchase. For that reason, it remained on the car after the restoration.

The 429ci Super Cobra Jet is factory rated at 375 hp. The engine is part of the Ford 385 series engines, and is separate from the FE engines. The 429 SCJ was blessed with a solid-lifter cam, an 11.3:1 compression ratio, and a Holley 780-cfm carburetor.

When the Ram Air engine was ordered, the factory made these scoops functional by installing a vacuum-actuated door that fed air through a fiberglass underhood plenum.

The big Hurst shifter with console and the comfortable surroundings make for one awesome touring vehicle. The Ginger interior is a bit unusual, but looks fantastic in the black car and increases the rarity of the Mach 1.

The Mach 1 chin spoiler, correct F60-15 Firestone Wide Oval tires, and 15×7 Magnum 500 wheels create an aggressive front-end stance. If there had been a sequel to Bullitt, Frank Bullitt would have driven this car.

The post 10th Anniversary Muscle Car and Corvette Nationals: Greatest Muscle Car Show on the Planet appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

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[creative-salem]

Salem Horror Fest launches in fall 2017 #knowfear

#KnowFear

To overcome fear, we must first understand it. Salem Horror Fest * Sept 21 – Oct 15

Salem Horror Fest examines American fear with a month-long celebration of terror and social justice partnership with the Peabody Essex Museum

  SALEM, Ma. – Salem Horror Fest, in partnership with the Peabody Essex Museum and CinemaSalem, today announced four weeks of screenings, parties, concerts, panels and exhibits that explore societal themes of fear and anxiety in horror at the Halloween capital of the world; Salem, MassachusettsAmidst the notorious backdrop of the 1692 Witch Trials, the festival will feature a city-wide program set to kick off at the Peabody Essex Museum on Thursday, September 21 as part of the PEM/PM evening party series in conjunction with their upcoming exhibit “It’s Alive” Classic Horror and Sci-Fi Art from the Kirk Hammett Collection.

“We live in fear. Fear of failure, commitment, each other and beyond. It’s one of the few things that unites us all. Salem knows this more than most,” said festival director Kevin Lynch. “The cinema is a graveyard of cultural reflections trapped in time like a celluloid ouija board. If we are to overcome fear, we must first understand it.”

Following the Opening Night Party on Thursday, September 21, Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) will accept the first-ever Salem Horror Award on behalf of Duane Jones for his cultural contribution to the genre as one of the first positive representations of a person of color on the big screen in George A. Romero’s 1968 Night of the Living Dead.

A concert performance by queer, negro-gothic soprano M Lamar will be held at Ames Hall on Friday, September 22 featuring a program The New York Times called an “otherworldly, goth-tinged projection into the distant future of our violent, racially and sexually charged present offering a space of melancholic, alluring, ultimately stirring reflection.”

Four films will be screened in the PEM’s Morse Auditorium with panel discussions exploring subtextual themes of cultural fear found in Night of the Living Dead, Matinee, Gods & Monsters, and The Haunting.

We live in fear. Fear of failure, commitment, each other and beyond. It’s one of the few things that unites us all. Salem knows this more than mostKevin Lynch

Following the Haunted Happenings Parade on Thursday, October 5, CinemaSalem will host Wicked Shorts, a free evening of short films in consideration for the first annual Orlok Award, named in honor of Count Orlok’s Nightmare Gallery’s 10th anniversary.

The second half of the festival will screen seven double features at CinemaSalem that feature social themes such as racism, misogyny, gay panic, media manipulation, and xenophobia in films like Get Out, People Under the Stairs, Tragedy Girls, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, American Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Mist, They Live, Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, Cruising, Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, Videodrome, Let the Right One In, and Fright Night.

All these events can be found on Eventbrite and Facebook. (Creative Salem members receive $50 off a VIP all inclusive pass! Please look for an email with your special code!)

The October 7th screening of Tyler MacIntyre’s Tragedy Girls will be the New England premiere at Women With Guts, a celebration in partnership with Rue Morgue Magazine. The event will also screen Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood followed by a Q&A session with its stars Lar Park Lincoln and Kane Hodder (Jason Voorhees) moderated by The Faculty of Horror podcast.

For more information, visit salemhorror.com.

SPECIAL EVENTS

Opening Night PartySalem Horror Fest partners with the Peabody Essex Museum to bring you the ultimate kickoff to the Halloween season! Featuring PEM special exhibition It’s Alive!: Classic Horror and Sci-Fi Art from the Kirk Hammett Collection, come haunt our inaugural Horror Fest with this night of live music, and interactive programming as part of the PEM/PM evening party series.

Thursday, September 21, 6pPeabody Essex MuseumM Lamar This “otherworldly, goth-tinged projection into the distant future of our violent, racially and sexually charged present offers a space of melancholic, alluring, ultimately stirring reflection.” – New York Times

Join us for this very special performance, featuring Queer Soprano M Lamar, who will perform an assemblage of old spirituals, in the “gothic-devil-worshipping-free-black-man-blues-tradition” in recognition of the 156th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation.

Friday, September 22, 8pAmes Hall at the Salem YMCA

Wicked Shorts Wicked Shorts celebrates independent filmmakers with a timely showcase of terrifying horror shorts. Submitted films will be curated and considered for the first annual Orlok Award, named in honor of Count Orlok’s Nightmare Gallery’s 10th anniversary.

Thursday, October 5, 8pCinemaSalem

Women With GutsSalem Horror Fest partners with Rue Morgue Magazine to celebrate women in horror for the New England premiere of SXSW hit Tragedy Girls! The screening will be paired with Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood followed by a post-credit Q&A with the film’s stars Lar Park Lincoln and man behind the mask, Kane Hodder (Jason Voorhees) moderated by The Faculty of Horror.

Saturday, October 7, 6pCinemaSalemSCREENINGS

Night of the Living Dead Director: George A. Romero

America: The year is 1968. The Cold War is approaching détente, the Civil Rights Movement is winding down, Vietnam continues to escalate… And then come the zombies, creeping in through the cracks in American life. Taking shelter in an abandoned farm house, seven strangers must navigate their differences before the walls give way to a ravenous zombie horde.

Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) will accept the first-ever Salem Horror Award on behalf of Duane Jones for his cultural contribution to the cinema as one of the first positive representations of a person of color on the big screen.

Thursday, September 21, 9pMorse Auditorium at the Peabody Essex Museum

MatineeDirector: Joe Dante

The escalation of the Cuban Missile Crisis collides with the premiere of a new atomic-age monster picture, MANT. This comedic homage to legendary producer William Castle celebrates the joy of horror cinema and theatrical gimmicks in one of Joe Dante’s (Gremlins, The Burbs) most underrated films. Panel discussion to follow.

Sunday, September 24, 2pMorse Auditorium at the Peabody Essex Museum

Gods & Monsters

Director: Bill Condon

The last days and career of renown gay horror director James Whale (Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, The Invisible Man) are explored in this biographical drama set in the time following the Korean War. Panel discussion to follow.

Saturday, September 30, 2pMorse Auditorium at the Peabody Essex Museum

The HauntingDirector: Robert WiseA scientist, skeptic, psychic and lesbian question reality as they explore a large, eerie mansion with a lurid history of death and insanity in this 1963 horror classic. Panel discussion to follow.

Sunday, October 1, 2p

Morse Auditorium at the Peabody Essex Museum

Get OutDirector: Jordan Peele

Slavery is a zombie in Jordan Peele’s directorial debut Get Out, which falls somewhere between Alfred Hitchcock and Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. Chris is preparing to meet his girlfriend Rose’s Caucasian family for the first time. What could go wrong?

Friday, October 6, 7pCinemaSalem

People Under the StairsDirector: Wes CravenUS, 1991Gentrification and racism are among the topics of socioeconomics tackled by this 1991 Wes Craven offering. On his 13th birthday, young Fool attempts to burglarize the house of his family’s evil landlords, before making a horrifying discovery in a tongue-in-cheek tale set in a post-Reaganomic, urban apocalypse.

Friday, October 6, 9pCinemaSalem

Tragedy GirlsDirector: Tyler MacIntyre

Salem Horror Fest presents the New England premiere of Tyler MacIntyre’s Tragedy Girls, following the unanimously positive response at the 2017 SXSW Festival!

Named “one of the freshest, funniest horror-comedies to emerge in ‘Scream’s’ long wake,” by Variety, the film stars Alexandra Shipp (X-Men Apocalypse) and Brianna Hildebrand (Deadpool) as two social media-obsessed high school serial killers who use their online show to turn their small town into a frenzy.

Saturday, October 7, 7pCinemaSalem

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New BloodDirector: John Carl BuechlerJason Voorhees has been imprisoned at the bottom of Crystal Lake for years, until a troubled, and telekinetic teenager unwittingly sets him loose upon the camp, once more. This installment of the franchise steps away from the classic elements of gore, and takes a more supernatural turn.

Saturday, October 7, 9pCinemaSalem

American PsychoDirector: Mary HarronDo you like Huey Lewis and the News? You never know if it’ll be the last thing you hear. Grab your Walkman and unsettle yourself for this cult-classic interpretation of Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho. Patrick Bateman is an Alpha Male, CEO/psycho, whose murderous, misogynistic fantasies begin bleeding into his reality, in this dark-comedy directed by Mary Harron.

Sunday, October 8, 7p

CinemaSalemTexas Chainsaw Massacre

Director: Tobe HooperWhat you are about to see is true. Who’s to say, really? First released while America was struggling with the realities of an oil embargo, the impeachment of a president, and what seemed like endless war, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a direct response to the horrors of its time.

Sunday, October 8, 9pCinemaSalem

The Mist

Director: Frank DarabontA supermarket becomes a petri dish in this film inspired by the Stephen King novella of the same name. A group of strangers are forced to confront the unknown as a unit, as a mysterious mist rolls in around them.  Are they human enough to survive? Or are they too human for their own good?

Monday, October 9, 7pCinemaSalem

They Live

Director: John Carpenter

In a world where the media is flooded with subliminal messages constantly making demands of humanity to conform, obey, consume, and reproduce, it would seem the only thing left to do is throw on some shades, and see the true horror that is our ruling class. John Carpenter’s 1988 commentary on the state of American democracy, society, and consumerism.

Monday, October 9, 9pCinemaSalem

Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

Director: Jack SholderThis 1985 camp classic explores the homoerotic horrors of high school when the man of Jesse’s dreams, Freddy Krueger, claims his body as a portal into the world of flesh.

Friday, October 13, 7pCinemaSalem

CruisingDirector: William Friedkin

Al Pacino stars in this controversial crime thriller from 1980. When human remains begin washing up in the Hudson River, the NYPD sends an undercover officer to investigate a string of murders in the Meatpacking District, in which gay men are targeted specifically.

Friday, October 13, 9pCinemaSalem

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Director: Tommy Lee Wallace

Somewhat of a departure from the slasher genre and Halloween franchise canon, though nonetheless produced by John Carpenter and Debra Hill. Season of the Witch delves into the supernatural as terror takes root in the themes of commercialism, media manipulation, and the superstitions and traditions of All Hallows Eve.

Friday, October 14, 7pCinemaSalem

VideodromeDirector: David Cronenberg Director David Cronenberg serves up this chilling and surreal gauge at media consumption. James Woods stars as Max Renn, President of a Canadian UHF television station known for its outrageous programming. After coming across a disturbing broadcast from far away, Renn is inspired to deliver high levels of violence to his viewers in ways previously unimagined.

Saturday, October 14, 9p

CinemaSalem

Let the Right One InDirector: Tomas AlfredsonPart vampire movie, part coming-of-age film, Tomas Alfredson’s Let the Right One In is a refreshing visit to an otherwise well-trod genre. A young teen, frequently the target of schoolyard bullies, makes a new friend in a mysterious neighbor who has just moved in next door, in what Roger Ebert called “the best modern vampire movie.”

Sunday, October 15, 7pCinemaSalem

Fright Night

Director: Tom HollandCharley Brewster enjoys the rather simple life of a 17-year-old horror fan. He watches the movies, and really digs the late-nite horror show, “Fright Night.” But things start to get a little strange when two guys move in next door. They spend a lot of time alone together, and seem to be quite… close with each other.

Sunday, October 15, 9p

CinemaSalem

EXHIBITIONS“It’s Alive” Classic Horror and Sci-Fi Art From the Kirk Hammett CollectionKirk Hammett, best known as the guitarist of the rock band Metallica, is also an avid collector of classic horror and sci-fi movie posters. This exhibition features 90 works that provide insight into the evolution of horror and sci-fi films and how they have played upon contemporary societal fears. Hammett acknowledges his poster collection as a source of inspiration for his own musical creativity. The exhibition features film posters as well as collectible electric guitars, monster masks and sculptures.

Saturday, August 12 – November 26, 2017Peabody Essex Museum

Count Orlok’s Nightmare GalleryPrepare for a delightfully creepy journey down the eerie exhibit halls as you discover characters from the darker side of cinema. Vampires, werewolves, zombies, demons, madmen (and women), and all things that go bump in the night are all represented here by life-sized reproductions made by Hollywood Special Effects Artists.

Hours: 10AM – 6PM (More hours added as the season approaches!) More details here. 

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Salem Horror Fest launches in fall 2017 #knowfear

Haunted Happenings, NEWS, Haunted Happenings, Horror, Horror Movies, Peabody Essex museum, salem halloween, salem horror fest0

Salem Scene – Salem Education Foundation Education Day

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Help shape the future of 289 Derby Street (The Carnival Lot)

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Call for Art – Salem Arts Festival Juried Gallery

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Exploring the urban environment with Matthias Neumann

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“Life After Midnight: Strange History, Salem Style” Q & A: Kristin Harris and Allison French

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Salem Horror Fest launches in fall 2017 #knowfear was originally published on Creative Salem