#Got some lovely responses planned today but might dust off that tablet and draw the squick

[oculusxcaro]

That feel when I'm getting some replies banged out today but I also have a mad urge to draw the body horror. ✨

[groovy-hottub-llama]

Cure for the itch...

...or, when trying new products, consult your partner.

Pairing: Kakasaku Rating: Teen +?, with 1 bottom patted and casual nudity. Honest. (language and implications) Warnings: Nudity, medicy-happenings and domesticity, the worst one of them all!

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"Mmmm!"

"Sorry," he mumbled as he slid into bed, "Team five made it back and Tenten gave their report in. It was a D class that went B. Nothing she couldn't handle. Her Genin are all safe."

Sakura made a pleased noise then prodded him into a position that was more comfortable. He wrapped his arms around her and she pulled him close. She tucked her head under his chin and hummed again.

"Night Sakura." He whispered fondly.

"Nigh' Kakash-" She replied drowsily.

Except sleep was elusive when Kakashi felt his eyes begin to itch. At first he tried to ignore it, it wasn't unheard of when he was this tired. However, the itchiness persisted and against his better judgement he lifted his arm gently from around his partner and squeezed the bridge of his nose, hoping the pressure would ease the irritating tickle that seemed to actually be inside his eyeballs.

It was no use.

He tugged his other arm out from underneath Sakura and made a noise of apology as she squeaked at the loss of contact. He rubbed his eyes, only for the itching sensation to triple in intensity. Sakura grumbled at his fidgeting but Kakashi was suddenly incensed by the need to stop the itching. He just couldn't help it, he rubbed his eyes again and growled in frustration.

Finally the movement dragged his bed mate from her rest.

"What's wrong?" She yawned, watching bemusedly in his direction within the darkness of their room.

"Eyes itch."

"Maybe don't try and scratch them out?" She muttered unhelpfully. He snarled in irritation and Sakura huffed in response. "Here, let me have a look."

She lifted a hand and summoned chakra to it, illuminating them in the dark. Kakashi hissed as the light reached his eyes and Sakura blinked in shock.

"This isn't normal," he growled again, "it's like I'm allergic to something, but it can't be hayfever, I don't get that."

Sakura sat up fully and moved towards him with concern. "Your eyes are really red, hold still so I can get a better look-" but before she could reach out he'd kicked off the covers with another snarl and practically fled from the bed to dart into the bathroom.

She heard the tap turn on and frowned, then pulled the sheets from around herself. He was obviously flushing his eyes. She got up to have a look, curiosity and concern warring as she approached the bathroom where curses were intermittently emerging.

"Is it that- woah. Your eyes are really blood shot!" She called from the doorway.

He made a noncommittal grunt and then a sigh of relief as he dropped a sodden flannel over his eyes. He'd parked himself on the edge of the bath and had tipped his head back to keep the flannel on his face. His arms rested over his thighs and he absently formed and half formed seals.

She watched him for a moment, half expecting him to come out with a jutsu that dealt with allergies but there was no reaction. He was just keeping his hands busy, she supposed, to resist the urge to rub his eyes.

"What could have set that off?" She wondered. "I've not changed the detergent for our sheets. I've dusted. I decontaminated after work in the labs today…could it have been something Team 5 brought back?"

He sat silently for a moment in thought, then tilted his head towards her and replied.

"I don't think so. This literally just happened when I joined you in bed." He cautiously peeled away the edge of the flannel to peer at her out of the corner of one bloodshot eye.

Sakura frowned in thought and stepped towards him to get a better look at his symptoms. He gave her a reassuring smile, but it was cut off with a grimace as she reached his side. He looked skywards and plopped the wet cloth against his eyes again with a snarl.

"Sakura, you smell different." He stated bluntly.

Sakura's eyes widened. He couldn't possibly mean…

"Oh no." She whispered. Kakashi caught it and turned towards her. He placed a hand on the flannel to keep it from slipping off.

"Ino had me try one of her new floral perfumes…you don't think…" She hesitated, but Kakashi filled in the rest for her.

"That would be it. What was in it? Napalm?" He added snidely. She looked up at him surprised. It wasn't like him to be so sharp with her, but his eyes must have been burning for him to be like that.

She fisted her hands in her hair and stepped away from him and back out to the bedroom. Dread and realization filled her, she needed to decontaminate herself, their bed, everything! She took a deep breath to calm herself and then spoke to him firmly, the Medic in her having reared it's fearsome head.

"Give me a moment! I'll change the bed. Then shower."

He grunted assent but then called out to her as she fussed with the sheets.

'I'll just sleep on the sofa Sakura, don't worry about it." He seemed somewhat remorseful for his earlier tone, the flannel now soothing the worst of his reaction. He slipped it off, soaked it again and put it back over his eyes with a relieved sigh.

"No, you will not sleep on the sofa." Sakura stated with no room for argument in her tone.  She wrenched the sheets and pillowcases free and dragged them off to the kitchen to stuff unceremoniously into the machine. She also stripped fully and stuffed her pyjamas in for good measure.

"This isn't your fault, it's mine. And besides, the last time you slept on the sofa I had to untwist you in the morning."

As she returned to the bathroom she saw he'd taken up a spot on the toilet, having closed the lid and parked himself down. She nudged his foot with her toe. He turned unseeing towards her and quirked his shoulders in question. Kakashi hummed absently and then chuckled quietly. She frowned at the sounds and reached over and tucked a finger quickly into the waistband of his pyjamas and released it with a snap. Though she couldn't see his eyes, she could definitely see the pout that resulted.

"What?"

"You're going to need to strip too. There might be traces of the perfume on those."

He dropped his head instinctively to look at his night clothes, lips quirking when he realised he couldn't see.

"Maaah Sakura, this has got to be the most violent plan you've enacted to get me naked."

Sakura snorted at the accusation, but was glad that his sense of humour had returned. Granted, when she wasn't feeling up to snuff, she could be pretty snippy too.

"You love getting naked for me, so don't tell me I have to contrive ways to take your clothes off. I've got this, you aren't the first allergy case I've dealt with, and you certainly won't be the last. Just keep those eyes covered."

"Can do." He replied, though his smirk showed no repentance for his accusations, nor her reprimand. He did obey and shed his clothes, which she took and returned to the kitchen to stuff in the washing machine with the rest of what she'd classified as 'contaminated articles'.

She returned and stepped into the tub and snapped on the shower, then she turned the dials to her preference and picked out a bottle of his shampoo to remove the perfume. It wasn't her favourite, but the least she could do was humour him.

It didn't take her long to clean off the remains of the scent and she scrubbed herself again for good measure. He listened as she grabbed a towel as she stepped out and leaned over to the sink to soak his flannel again. Sakura walked out of the bathroom, towel now wrapped around her head and rummaged in a draw for a clean set of pyjamas.

"I've just got to make the bed, you can shower too, then we can sleep." She called as she pulled her shorts up. "Are your eyes better? I've got some anti-histamine in the cupboard?"

'Yes please." He answered.

She went back into the kitchen and closed the washing machine door with a cautious toe, then opened the draw, poured in the detergent and set the machine to blast its contents as high as it would go. The first aid kit was in the cupboard under the sink, luckily segregated from the cleaning detergents. She clicked open the case, checked the date on the outer packet and pulled out a sheet of anti-histamine tablets. She closed everything up and then busied herself with remaking the bed, a little irritated that she'd only just changed them a few nights before.

With a hand she smoothed out and then tucked in the last corner with a satisfied nod. As she turned back to the bathroom she noticed Kakashi had yet to get in the shower himself. She walked back in and took the towel off of her head and hung it below his dry one on the rack.

"Bed is done, let me look at those eyes."

Kakashi snorted in amusement.

"They used to be my best feature. Whatever will you love me for now?" He quipped as he lifted the flannel up so that she could inspect his puffy red eyes. She made a thoughtful sound and stepped back as he rose, careful to keep her distance lest any of the perfume still on him got back onto her.

"Ok, it's not as bad as it could be. Here," she took the sheet of pills in her hand and pushed one out of it's foil bubble, "this should help. Luckily you don't need something more vigourous."

He grumbled good naturally as she dropped the pill into his open hand. He downed the pill dry, made a show of grimacing around it and then removed the flannel completely and tipped his head towards her so she could take another look at his eyes. She tsk'd at the redness but appeared to be pleased with what she saw. He dropped the flannel into the sink and Sakura silently berated herself for forgetting to put it in the machine with the rest of the washing. She resolved to empty a kettle over it in the morning before he ended up getting exposed to the perfume again.

"What was in that perfume?" He asked as he leaned into the tub to adjust the taps back to his preferred temperature. She leaned on the doorway and watched him as he made his way into the shower and navigated with surprising ease despite his compromised vision.

"It was a type of orchid. Something new Ino had in. I really liked the scent, so she gave me a trial run."

The shower rumbled to life and the sound of running water filled the room. Kakashi hopped in the tub and Sakura rolled her eyes at the gesture, hiding a smirk behind her hand. When she realised he couldn't see her as his face was directly under the flow of the shower head she grinned broadly and appraised him openly. At least there was a highlight to this fiasco. He hadn't been entirely wrong about her plans to see him naked, even though this had been entirely accidental.

"You should probably turn up the heat on that shower. If there are any traces on you, that should clear it up." She said over the water.

"Understood Haruno-Sensei." He ducked his head out to answer her.

She finally pulled herself away to find him a clean pair of pyjama bottoms. She deliberately picked out the pair she'd bought him but he refused to wear.

Seriously Sakura? Dog treats? On pyjamas?

Sakura smirked as she returned to the bathroom to find that he, like herself, had finished up quickly and was drying himself off with his towel. He snagged the pro-offered night clothes and turned a questioning red eye at her. He shook his head and resignedly pulled them on.

"That could have been much worse Kakashi." Sakura said as she pulled him back into their bed.

"Well, I do have private medical care, so I'm not too concerned." He grinned and she pushed him in retaliation.

"Even if that medic is causing the symptoms?" She replied with a frown. He leaned over and licked her. She squawked and tried to pull away but he'd caught her against him. He licked her again for good measure.

"Ugh! Why would you do that!?"

"Because vengeance is sweet, because you tried to blind me and because you've got me wearing this fashion disaster." He stated.

"They're charming. Unlike you." Sakura sniffed and turned her head away, cheeks puffed up in offence. He tugged her closer, nuzzled into her damp hair and hummed appreciatively when he recognised his own shampoo on her.

"How dare you," he whispered against her ear, "I am a prince I'll have you know." She shivered then poked him in the gut to fend him off. It was unsuccessful, but then again, she hadn't been trying very hard. Sakura glanced over to the clock on their bedside table and moaned.

"It's two in the morning! I have three hours until my shift!" She dropped her head onto her pillow and then prodded him again with conviction. He wriggled away but she caught him and tugged him into her so she could get comfortable.

"Must you insist on nesting in such a fashion?" He mumbled into the darkness, fond, despite the words.

"Mmhmm. I'm an excellent medic," she snuggled further into him and grinned when he patted her bottom affectionately, "this is but a small price to pay for your private medical care."

For a moment she'd thought he'd dropped off, but then, from the darkness came a quiet promise.

"I'll see you for my checkup in the morning, Dr. Haruno."