#Goss - Thank God For Fitness
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atlasradioclub · 2 years ago
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DENMARK I
SOUNDCLOUD          MIXCLOUD  
First Hate - Meditation Interlude Lueenas, Ida Duelund, Maria Jagd - Loro Astrid Sonne - How Far Suzanne Menzel - Summer Rain Goss - Thank God For Fitness CTM - The Way A Mouth Is A Mouth Loke Rahbek, Frederik Valentin - You Everything Kasper Marott - Mosens Tone School Of X - Mi Sueño Favorito Synd og Skam, Jonas Okholm - Interlude GENTS - Essential Oils Anders Rhedin - Equilibrium Atlantis Transit Project - Bird Perspective Dinner - Copenhagen First Hate - A Girl Called Friday
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peppermintbuttlemon · 10 months ago
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i gotta add to the discourse bc you keep taking the literal thoughts from my brain and i love it (same soho anon from yesterday getting my unmoderated goss fix in since ive gone off the grid online - so this is long)
i literally only like him bc i think he’s cute imma be so real w you. (he is mid i know my friends dog on my terrible taste all the time and he fits my tragic pattern) i saw him in game of thrones in 2019 and was like hello and wanted to slide into his dms but was not possible bc no ig (that we knew of lol) and it became a whole joke with my friends that my celeb crush was some rando who was in game of thrones for 3 mins and then when he was in ST it just became a whole bit. when he did a con by me it was a literal 2 minute walk from my house so my friend and i went just for the plot and he was actually nice when i took my photo. idk it also might have just been early so he maybe had pep in his step but i was going to leave and he stopped me mid walk and said “thanks for coming” (obvi the standard to be polite) and i literally just said “ok” bc i was hungover and that dystopian ass JC Penny portraits curtain cubicle was disorienting me LMAO. i will never ever go to one of those things ever again. then like an hour later saw his big head active on raya.
re: weirdo fans
i have literally talked about this on other goss blogs bc it rubbed me SO WEIRD and everyone dogged on me for saying it/it was mentioned/denied in some twt thread but one of the weird fans mentioned before was hanging out with a girl that literally jogged after someone on his team and was like “what i don’t get a hug???” like you’re so bizarre but okay. they can deny it all they want but i literally watched it sitting on that musty ass convention center floor. y’all ain’t gonna gaslight me w that!!! i literally could give you a police sketch description of them if i had to💀
i feel bad for ppl that had bad experiences when they pay for it (and i know he made BANDS on those cons. like a ridiculous amount) bc clearly it means more to them than it did for me but in regards to like in public or on the street meeting him and being upset - yall gotta realize that ppl don’t you shit just bc of what they do for a living. i’d be too embarrassed to go up to someone and be like “yeo love your work” while they’re just trying to get from point a to point b or eat dinner
re the reminder that he’s just a south london dude:
there is a type!!!! they all act the same as someone who’s dated 3 of them (i have no self control and clearly do not learn from my own horror stories) they have the same attitude, ego, mindset, etc. and i have come to the conclusion that if i actually knew him irl id probably hate him or try to argue with him for fun because of it. i live to humble men and at the end of the day he is just a man!!!! a man who is basically a glorified theatre kid when you think about it
re: https://www.tumblr.com/peppermintbuttlemon/741588680956952576/httpswwwtumblrcompeppermintbuttlemon74157782
can say i do not recall what he smells like but my friend always says he looks damp so we do call him a name about it (i don’t wanna add just in case someone on twitter recognizes that it’s me lmao)
DAMP 💀💀💀😂😂 oh my god I love it!!
So what’s the south London guy thing? What are the symptoms of this disease? 😂
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punkscowardschampions · 2 years ago
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Mafi First Convo
Fi: Official welcome committee duties dictate I send this, but be aware I would anyway
Mattie: Oh my, well, officially and unofficially, thank you!
Mattie: Tiresome as the committee sounds for you, I can assure you it is appreciated by me and I hope that helps somewhat 😊
Fi: with me at it’s head, absolutely not 😉 rest assured everyone is 🥳 myself included
Mattie: It is truly admirable you have any 🥳 left in you for first day back
Mattie: though perhaps I shouldn’t make too much of a thing about it, as a teacher who is thrilled to be here and so should ALL pupils, of course 😏
Fi: thrilled as I am to be admired, I’m also raring to go with this term in or out of the new teacher’s inbox 
Mattie: Ah yes, of course, just this year to go
Mattie: I remember that euphoria well
Fi: you can call it just yesterday without the horror of nobody around you keeping a remotely straight face, so few other staff members are getting away with such a thing
Mattie: Oh Lord, is there anything more 👩‍🦳 than how wistful I sounded there ?!!
Fi: No, don’t worry, it’s the ‘when I was your age’ sized baggage [her mother’s name, whether that’s mrs whatever or her actual, depending what the students call her because say you’ve got mummy issues without saying you’ve got mummy issues lol] is helping me carry into said school year, she should be feeling her age and I, apparently, should be acting it, in spite of mine not being [however old her mum is]
Mattie: I was… shall we say forewarned, that I had [likewise however we’re rolling which I imagine is Mrs surname because not claiming to know your mother any better than that yet]’s daughter in my form
Fi: 😆 I love when my reputation correctly precedes me, I’ve worked hard to cultivate it from age 11, what a waste if you heard wrong
Mattie: If anyone should know you, it would be your mother 😅
Fi: imagine if she was privy to the top-notch school goss! But we’ve gotta keep the 🍇 vine withered and dead or I can kiss goodbye to Head Girl 🤫🔒
Mattie: I’m certain it’s a case of what a mother/teacher doesn’t know, can’t hurt her, yes?
Fi: maybe but /teacher feels cruel in present company
Mattie: As you pointed out, it hasn’t been that many years for me, I know how these things work and I’d not ask you to deviate on my behalf, Head Girl or otherwise
Fi: you know how to play the game
Fi: you’ll fit in amazingly
Mattie: I hope I won’t be offending if I take that as a compliment and it was intended as a dig? My ego doesn’t feel entirely 🏹 but I’m sure those older teachers may see me as green
Mattie: but, speaking of fitting in, you can recall the new girl from form time in 5th form, Dolly?
Fi: I take archery too seriously to pick such an easy 🎯
Fi: would be what I would say, if I was making an intentional dig, miss
Fi: And yep, I make a point of introducing myself to all the new girls
Mattie: Your sporting prowess was another topic of conversation, of course
Mattie: and please, feel free to call me Mattie
Mattie: we’re practically on an even keel and honestly, I am at a deficit in comparison to your knowledge about this place
Mattie: hence I was wondering if you could show Dolly the ropes and keep a general eye on her? She’s quiet but easygoing… I don’t think it should be too taxing a job 🤞
Fi: the 🏆🥇🥈 filing the cabinet speak for themselves, thank god, what a boring conversation otherwise 🥱 I prefer a humbler brag if needs seriously must
Fi: no fear, Mattie, new girls of any age get mentored like the year 7s do, until they show us they’re old hats, it’s part of my role here
Mattie: Actions and wins speak for themselves, eh 
Mattie: I just know she has come here after a bit of a tough time so a friendly face if she needs any assistance will be greatly appreciated
Fi: my face is the friendliest 😁 but if I had any deficit, to borrow your vocab from you, my dog would pick up the slack
Mattie: Oh my Gosh, what’s his name? 🤭
Fi: Guess, you won’t be able to ever!
Mattie: This is when I expose myself for having lacking general knowledge and quizzing skills too, oh no!
Mattie: Does it match your name, the energy, origin…? 🤔
Fi: I’ll give you a single clue, he’s named for my love of history
Mattie: Ooh, well he’s surely much too big to be a Napoleon
Mattie: I can’t claim a comprehensive knowledge of his love life but Henry doesn’t feel right either… What about a… Winston?
Fi: nope, you’re thinking too contemporary
Mattie: Caesar?
Mattie: And I will only do one more guess before I give up, to be a good sport!
Fi: 🥶
Mattie: 😨
Mattie: Umm, Aristotle? I know it isn’t but a good guess is truly alluding me
Fi: you were closest with Henry, or should I say his love life
Mattie: Not me misgendering this poor creature too! 😣
Fi: 😅 not at all, that you got right
Mattie: Is he a poet, perhaps a playwright?
Fi: I’ll help you, he’s named for the pet of a historical figure
Mattie: Gosh, please tell me you plan to study history next year, I couldn’t bear for this knowledge to go to waste
Fi: If they’ll have me
Mattie: This feels like an education in itself, I will definitely be looking up historical figures and their pets later
Mattie: currently, it would be cheating
Fi: good thinking, you do some homework and get back to me, miss
Mattie: You have to set a hand-in date, Fi
Fi: by the end of the day, I don’t have the patience for a longer deadline than that, neither does my dog, who you’re bound to hear somebody calling if I leave it and leave it
Mattie: True, I shall see what I can do, given it will only be a one-word answer, that seems like a fair deadline
Fi: no help from your brand new colleagues, [the history teacher] in particular, I’ll know 
Mattie: I would never
Mattie: It would be the hollowest of victories
Fi: I’d be most upset at having to deny you 🏆🥇 on your first day here, it’s too unsporting
Mattie: They’ll never have me on any team if I prove to be such a cheat, you’re adhering to the rules to a T 🏆🥇👱🏻‍♀️
Fi: What clubs are you signed up for?
Mattie: I’m definitely going to help out with Drama, myself and miss [the drama teacher] did our training together so whenever she needs a spare stagehand
Mattie: Apparently the running club would benefit from a member of staff too and I’m a keen runner so that’s another one for the list but I am open to your suggestions or any hot goss on that front
Mattie: the list is endless!
Fi: I’ll see you at 🏃🏼‍♀️ without having to cheat, but I’ve only been allowed in one play, my first and last, which to a newbie could be classed as hot goss I suppose
Fi: who knew it’s the worst form and frowned upon to close a trap door on your scene partner rather than continue? Not me
Mattie: I mean, I do consider that quite titillating information
Mattie: working trap doors mixed with teenagers is perhaps an oversight on the school’s behalf 
Fi: in my humble opinion I saved the play, and de-escalated what would have otherwise become a real life sword fight, but opinions differ 
Mattie: As [this drama teacher] is also a newbie, I’m sure she’d have no qualms in letting you take another, figurative, stab at it, if you wanted
Mattie: but it’ll be good to hit the track with you
Fi: to level with you, I was only interested in the ⚔️ this was my pre-fencing days
Fi: have you ever tried fencing? I’m obsessed
Mattie: I haven’t but I would love to!
Mattie: I was a ballet girl, in my youth, that took up almost all my energy and focus in terms of sport
Fi: ballet was fun too, my father used to take me, that was pre-divorce days
Mattie: At the risk of sounding like a 👩‍🦳 again, your energy must be boundless
Fi: I’ve been tested, but whatever my deficits, they aren’t officially in attention or called a disorder
Mattie: I didn’t think that, and even if they were, it seems like you make the most out of all the gifts you’ve been given
Mattie: You’d get on well with my older sister, she’s super sporty, HATED ballet though
Fi: he wanted a daughter who was 😊🩰🎀 but I don’t like to box myself in
Mattie: Sensible, no one thrives in a box
Mattie: which is very much the same reason my sister was put into ballet, that was pre-divorce too
Fi: it makes sense, as much as it can, with already having a son pre-marriage, parents are stereotypically fixed in their wants
Mattie: I think all parents have expectations
Mattie: it’s no child’s obligation to meet them all, if that is even possible
Mattie: but I try to have sympathy for a parent when things go entirely the opposite way to their imaginings 
Mattie: not to say I’m talking about you there, gosh, please do not think that
Fi: hilarious if she’s opened up to you about me that much on your first day, also alarming, I’d be forced to check her water bottle hasn’t been spiked
Mattie: That was wholly unprofessional of me 😶 I was truly thinking about my sister but that isn’t much better of me, sorry
Fi: I’m joking, she’d never be unprofessional, it’s all she cares about, you’ll be pushing it to get a ‘how was your evening?’
Fi: but your poor sister, no wonder it’s on your mind
Mattie: Oh she’s fine now, honest
Mattie: but we’ve all had our own boxes to fight against, I think
Fi: you said she’s older, is she the oldest?
Fi: as Allegra’s oldest, I relate to how small the box often feels 
Mattie: She is, yes
Mattie: I have heard that, especially for eldest girls
Fi: it does feel like you can’t win
Mattie: You give her so much to be proud of, surely
Fi: I give her a headache, above all
Mattie: She has a stressful job, I bet the other girls in her charge also have a lot to do with it
Fi: You’re gonna be an excellent form teacher for all the girls they’ve given you
Mattie: I really hope so, I will try to be
Mattie: it’s sweet of you to say
Fi: you’re sweet, and a good listener, like my fave bartender
Fi: not that I have one of those while it’s still technically illegal 😶
Mattie: 🙉 currently, though
Mattie: it would be awful form to have to tell you off right now, I *think* what you do outside of school hours is technically your business but I’d have to add that re-read of the rules to my homework pile
Fi: I think you should give me a practise telling off, being too sweet in your classes might cause you your own headache
Mattie: You’d die laughing
Mattie: if I’m 😁 they’ll all want to behave and do their work… right ?!! 😅
Fi: not to your face
Fi: play along, Mattie, be a sport
Mattie: 😬 Gah, alright then, tell me again and I’ll respond in the textbook stern fashion
Fi: [tell her a story she did not ask for about your antics at your fave bar, being scandalous so she’ll ‘tell you off’ haha]
Mattie: … What gave you the impression that was a suitable story to tell?
Fi: I knew it wasn’t which is why I told it
Mattie: No one here is impressed, in fact, I have a headache about the paperwork already
Mattie: not only have you ensured a stop is put to your own ‘good time’ but I have to take appropriate measures to make sure you’re suitably punished, at the expense of my own free time
Fi: amazing
Mattie: 💐 are acceptable or 👏 at a pinch
Mattie: I don’t think they would have passed me if I couldn’t fake it
Fi: what flowers do you like? school grounds will limit my 💐 making but if you promise not to tell me off I’ll go further afield as needed
Mattie: I do adore sweet peas 
Mattie: and I did spy some on the grounds
Fi: oh miss, you really wanna keep me caged, you are well trained
Mattie: I don’t know if we go with the word ‘caged’
Mattie: keeping you here between the hours of [a school day] is at least partially what they’re paying me for, I grant you
Fi: Where did you study? I remember you telling us when you were here on placement but I’ve forgotten the specifics, it’s local, London, but otherwise I’m lost and I’d have to use a fair few guesses
Mattie: Greenwich, my dad went there and loved it, it’s also not too far from home, which I still needed at that time
Fi: you probably don’t know how it’s ranked for history, do you?
Fi: I’m not sure where to go
Mattie: I don’t think it ranks highly, it’s not a prestigious Uni, in particular 
Mattie: Are you thinking you want to stay local or go further afield?
Fi: as usual I’m torn, my dad would like me local to him in [whatever foreign country he lives in] but I’d like to stay here, or closer than that, anyway
Mattie: That is a tough decision, a real grass is always greener conundrum too, potentially
Mattie: I know people who stayed home and wish they hadn’t and people who found being too far very difficult and regretted it
Mattie: You still have ‘til [the UCAS deadline] thank goodness, I used every day I had to make my choices 😅
Fi: time to pick sweet peas and count the petals to make a decision without sacrificing your entire bouquet supply to my ??!
Mattie: I should allow it but I’d be a little gutted 🤏
Mattie: I’d smell the indecision in the air with every petal
Fi: I can’t allow it, upsetting teachers is only fun when it’s [and list the ones who you don’t like/don’t like you]
Mattie: That isn’t a list I want to join, must be said
Mattie: not just because I’ve been told of the archery and fencing skills, as well as the trapdoor incident 
Fi: please don’t, I had the worst form tutor in [pick a year, it doesn’t matter] 
Mattie: I think we’ll get along just fine
Mattie: as one of my 6th and Head Girl to boot, we’re a team more than I’m an adversary
Fi: I get the feeling you wouldn’t make me cry, unlike she who must not be named, because she still works here
Mattie: That’s awful, I’m so sorry
Fi: I don’t do that anymore, she killed the urge after a solid fortnight
Mattie: Did you speak to anyone else, like another member of staff, I mean?
Fi: I tried but she thought I was being overdramatic, I don’t know if she didn’t believe I was actually crying or just didn’t believe why warranted it
Mattie: That shouldn’t have been allowed to stand, whether someone else feels the situation requires any level of upset is so irrelevant, you were and feelings are meant to be respected for what they are, not forced into rationality
Fi: I warned the other girls about her, it’s my yearly crusade
Fi: hopefully it’s established lore by the time I leave
Mattie: it’s very apparent, how much you truly care about the others
Mattie: I see why you made Head Girl
Fi: We have to look out for each other, particularly if some of the people whose job it is aren’t going to do it
Mattie: It’s one of the things I admired about this place, the genuine closeness
Fi: it is genuine, not in a ‘run, Mattie, you’ve joined a cult’ way, I promise
Mattie: 😌 a lot of these kids need that second family, that belonging and support
Mattie: I’m looking forward to being part of it, however small
Fi: I’ll miss being part of it
Mattie: I bet, it’s been an even bigger part of your life than most
Fi: I’d come back and teach here but Allegra and I might kill each other
Mattie: You’d make an excellent teacher
Fi: I know, but she’d snap at having to be professional towards me
Mattie: There are lots of schools and lots of opportunities for you both, see what the future brings, Fi
Fi: you didn’t go to boarding school, did you?
Mattie: No, I didn’t
Fi: thank god, I pride myself on being able to tell and I’m yet to be wrong, you could’ve ruined my streak, Mattie
Mattie: 😮‍💨 collective sigh of that that didn’t happen
Mattie: I do want to know what the tells are, however
Fi: see if you can figure them out based on the list I’m about to give you of have and have nots
Fi: [drop that list, all the tea and shade lol]
Mattie: I can tell you’ve been here for the duration
Mattie: comprehensive and accurate on all counts 🤭
Fi: it’s like those relatives you don’t see often but when you do they hardcore overstay and share and you find out more than you bargained, is the closest comparison to coin for my insider knowledge
Fi: but you’re welcome to practise grade me
Mattie: I *could*
Mattie: but I don’t know if I qualify as the expert for the flip side of this school experience coin
Fi: this could be your first and last opportunity, not teaching me, to award me a [the equivalent of an A cos grades are different now and idk], live a little 
Mattie: If my 6th formers aren’t getting [the equivalent of A and A*s] then I’ve not done my job well enough, obviously 😏
Mattie: I can’t hand them out like 🍬 or ⭐️ but you’re certainly working towards
Fi: I won’t tell your 6th formers anything 🤫🔒
Mattie: A box of for a 💐 is standard payment, what’s your favourite?
Fi: if you hand me a box of ⭐️ nowhere and no one in school is safe
Fi: 🍬? [why has my mind gone blank on every chocolate or sweet that exists, I will come back and put one when I think lol]
Mattie: No amount of 🤫🔒 will stop that sticker outbreak from getting back to my endless supply of ⭐️!
Mattie: I’ve had an idea though, I’ll surprise you
Fi: cool, I’m looking forward to seeing if you can
Mattie: As subpar as my detective skills have proved, I’d be surprised myself if yours were that keen
Fi: but what if they are? 
Fi: we’ll soon run out of surprises for each other
Mattie: Wait and see ✨
Mattie: If I surprise you this time, then my track record stands us in good stead 
Fi: an exciting prospect for any teacher to have a top-notch track record
Fi: it’ll be great fun having you here
Mattie: Thanks, I’m hoping so too
Mattie: I had a lot of fun on my placement, hence the return
Fi: I did my fair share of welcome wagon-ing that first day too, it’d be hard to live down if I scared you off with it, my own track record would be at stake
Mattie: You’re not scary, not a challenge to prove me wrong 😅
Mattie: there’s absolutely nothing wrong in knowing how to have fun, I’d count it in your favour
Fi: which is why you’ll get surprises and [teachers we love to shade] shan’t! 
Mattie: 🥳🥳
Mattie: I am in this job for the surprises, honestly
Fi: oh how easily I could make those words your famous last if I wasn’t bound by my honour as Head Girl
Mattie: heavy is the head atop the blazer with the special badge 🤷‍♀️
Fi: you would think you’d joined a cult if I stole your flowers to fashion into a crown
Mattie: My love for a flower crown would get me into that kind of mess… I used to steal my poor neighbour's flowers from her hanging baskets 😱
Fi: We’d get along so famously, I have so many childhood anecdotes about getting in trouble, and having, shall we say, niche interests I’d go above and beyond for 😄
Fi: when my friends were in their disney princess era, I named all of my fave toys for Henry VIII’s wives and reenacted their grizzly fates accordingly
Fi: on another occasion I insisted we turned the garden into a plague pit and they all lie there, in what was essentially a child labour dug mass grave, until I was bored of the game
Mattie: You can’t beat the storylines Henry gave us, rivals any disney film by a longshot, as well as the [kardashians of this era]
Mattie: That’s amazing though, history in action, I loved dragging my family around many a palace or castle to play at princess warrior knight
Fi: Allegra and her husband would have been delighted to drag and lock me into a castle when they found my baby brother wrapped up like a mummy and me in the midst of trying to stick a spoon and straw up his nose 😆
Mattie: 😲🤭 two pairs of eyes is not enough to watch little kids, I have no idea how anyone has their own or works with them
Fi: it’s a miracle he survived my curiosity into childhood, poor thing
Mattie: I saw him running off to his school this AM, he seems robust, a big sister will do that to you
Fi: I have to try, his parents will baby him horribly if left to their own devices
Mattie: I think when there’s a gap like that, that can be the impulse sometimes
Fi: and he is their pre-menopause miracle, I guess
Fi: but I didn’t say that because it’s not kind to discuss 👩‍🦳 
Mattie: 🤐 from me
Fi: personally, if I had an on tap excuse to hand out for why I was being a grump to everyone I’d shout about it, but maybe that’s just me
Mattie: I suppose if you can’t help but be a grump and you’d really like not to be, it’s a bit sensitive 
Fi: would she like not to be? is that your true first impression?
Mattie: I can’t imagine a world where anyone wants to be anything other than happy, really
Mattie: some people just struggle
Fi: I like the sound of your imagination
Mattie: I know it’s naive but I have to believe that 
Mattie: or there’s no hope for certain people
Fi: sometimes I feel jaded, I’d rather naive if there’s an option
Mattie: there’s a whole 🌈 out there
Mattie: isn’t jaded just another box?
Fi: a box made of jade, perhaps, one for the dressing table
Mattie: You don’t strike me as ornamental
Fi: ouch, I don’t think I’ve ever been called ugly in such a pretty way
Mattie: That is not what I meant!
Mattie: I meant you’re not going to just sit on any shelf to be admired, it was very much a compliment of your character
Fi: okay, we can avoid two form tutors making me cry
Mattie: I would never say such a thing and you’d do well to never believe it from anyone, such a clear falsehood
Fi: I’ll do my best not to give in to the teenage urge while I still am one, it wouldn’t set the right example to the younger girls
Mattie: That’s the spirit 🌷🐇🧁💙
Fi: You pull me in different directions, on the one hand I wish you had been here to teach for my more formative years, but on the other you should’ve been here for yours as a pupil
Mattie: I would have loved it here, I wanted constant sleepovers, always having my friends with me, boarding, in that sense, would be ideal
Mattie: I dread to think the bad influence I would have been on poor 11-year-old you, being, what, 15, 16 myself?
Fi: I’d still have been the bad influence, I think we both know that
Mattie: 😋
Mattie: How rude of you to doubt my bad girl era
Fi: I have to doubt the unknown, a little
Mattie: There is such thing as a healthy dose of scepticism, true
Fi: and if I dwell on your bad girl era I’ll have to know everything, which goes against my self made promise not to get you into trouble quite yet
Mattie: My lips are sealed 🤐 
Fi: it’s hard work being good, I may be on the wrong track imagining I can make a career out of it too
Mattie: The nunnery or the law?
Mattie: but tell me about it, I’m keenly aware there are [however many girls are in this house, I’m sure it’s not exactly 50 every time but around that] of you that I have to keep on a good path, somehow
Fi: I’ll help you, nobody has demanded it has to be an entirely boring straight and narrow all the time
Mattie: And there’s the rest of the staff too, it isn’t solely on my shoulders to be 😇
Mattie: I don’t think anyone truly connects with that but maybe connection isn’t as important as I think it is in this role
Fi: trust yourself, connection is very important
Mattie: seeing your teacher is just as human as you, with their own life outside of the lessons too, surely that would lead you to want to see learning as collaborative, rather than me reeling off facts from a PowerPoint
Mattie: and hopefully, anyone with a problem would be more inclined to reach out if they know I’ve not got the room to be a judgmental cow about it 
Mattie: that’s just my soapbox, though
Fi: it’s a box we can make an exception for
Mattie: And your surprise, I hope
Fi: I’d almost forgotten my surprise is a real thing you’re organising, as something else not to dwell on because it’s too exciting
Mattie: ⏲
Mattie: Are you studying in a friend’s dormie, where would you like me to leave said surprise? 
Fi: [drop the deets because I’m sure you are]
Fi: yours will be in your room
Fi: [letting you know here and now that she’s obvs left the flowers looking cute af in some bottle or jar but also she will have drawn this gal a map, that unlike the functional one Lulu drew for her first day begrudgingly to help her get around, is a literal work of art and not actually functional, like those old ones with insane scale and pics of sea monsters and mermaids like we want but of parts of this school as different countries, you know the vibe, it’ll definitely take her ages to do] 
Mattie: [I LOVE everything about that boo, she will be obsessed, don’t mind us, being very gay from the off here]
Fi: [nothing platonic about the amount of work you’ve shamelessly put into drawing that to balance out how quickly you picked the flowers and the fact they weren’t a surprise]
Mattie: [there isn’t anything platonic about any of this, I’m sorry, like will we bake for other gals, of course, but did we rush to do it on our first day and get magic stars to make it an in-joke? No hun]
Fi: [which is why I already love y’all and cannot wait for you to see each other at this engagement party, lord knows the happy couple are too dry to be having any fun]
Mattie: [and there isn’t a power dynamic because she isn’t her teacher and there’s barely an age gap, soz haters, fight with the wall, jemily does as they please]
Fi: [they are similar to Java in that way which I love because they are your parents, soz that you’re literally encouraged to be besties with your form tutor and confide in them about shit, which is all y’all are doing til she leaves]
Mattie: [also in this particular scenario, Mattie is the newbie, Fi has the experience and the power behind her, she could get Mattie fired if she wanted, it isn’t all age]
Fi: [agreed, oh the many places we could bebop to, do you wanna keep doing school or skip, what are you feeling gal?]
Mattie: [I think it might be fun to skip to engagement, as long as we’re both firm on the vibe of this school year, there’s no reason we can’t… we may come back and commit ourselves to stuff in said year later but as a first write and toe dip, I wouldn’t mind]
Fi: [I’m down too, as Winnie had the idea and it’s fresh in our minds + lowkey the era we properly wanna set y’all I think we can, we love to hop around with everybody so we can always come back at any point but I think this first day sets the vibe and tone of how y’all were during school well enough we both know what’s up]
Mattie: [agreed girly pops, I will post this so we can re-read the first convo separately later if we wanna]
Fi: [good thinking, me like it’s not very long and then remembering it’s literally set over a school day so it is pretty long actually lol]
Mattie: [like we could say our thank yous for the respective gifts here too but might die from how gay it is lmao]
Fi: [my boo says we gotta pace ourselves haha, I’m sure this bitch will say it in person when she sees her next like the AM after anyway so, purely to be more extra about it]
Mattie: [me like thank the lord Lulu is not in your form, be trying to poison your next batch casually]
Fi: [we did you a real favour there ladies, you don’t even know]
Mattie: [her at this engagement ignoring Gabe on all counts, very funny]
Fi: [again y’all are welcome Sekhmet is there being the most distracting or Fi you’d be in danger, girl]
Mattie: [it’ll keep her off your trail whilst we need her to be aka so Mattie doesn’t choke immediately and can’t go through with it]
Fi: [we’ve been smart, have you got an outfit already done from before? Cos maybe you could post one of these hoes together now, but anyway I’ll shh and let you post this]
1 note · View note
finelinevogue · 3 years ago
Text
he’s so vogue
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Description - you are the journalist for the new Harry Styles December Vogue Issue
A/N - how is everyone doing? hope you enjoy! if you have any requests please feel free to ask. love you all and have a lovely rest of the week!
warnings: swearing
[masterlist]
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Being a journalist for Vogue was probably the biggest flex you could ever make.
After 3 years of studying English Literature at Surrey University, you never thought, only a year after, you'd be working as an apprentice at Vogue UK. If it weren't for your Aunty, who worked in the fashion design section at Vogue HQ, then you'd no doubt still be a broke-ass, single, lonely student. Ok, lonely you still were but your job was so full-on that you didn't have time for a relationship.
Two years into your apprenticeship you were promoted to an official member of the team, and then another two years later you got promoted to team leader in your department of journalism, and editing; The Media - or as you like to call it - "The Celeb Goss". You were beyond happy with your job and found such passion in every article your wrote. Whether it be about a new celebrity romance or the collapse of one, you found a way to story-tell in such a meditated way that everyone loved your pieces.
That's why the Harry Styles had requested you to be the one to interview him.
Of course you'd written about A-list celebrities in the past, producing articles on pregnancy rumours, or engagements, or breakups, but you'd never met them before authoring an article. You'd met plenty of D-list celebrities who thought they were mega famous, but if you mentioned their names people would turn around and ask "who?".
This is why interviewing Harry Styles was a massive thing for you.
Not very often did you get to do work out in the field, especially in these covid infested days, but nevertheless it was your favourite part of the job. Getting to meet the people you were writing about was completely refreshing, allowing you to obtain a clearer outlook on which direction to take on your journal piece.
You were asked to go to Stonehenge, where the photoshoot was being filmed, as your office of interview. Even though you'd lived in the UK all your life, you'd never actually been to Stonehenge. It wasn't really on your bucket-list, but it was a pleasure to get to see it all the same.
Being the prepared interviewer you were, you'd prepared an array of questions that you were set on asking Harry. You'd never met him before, but after much googling and youtubing of him prior to meeting him today you would already be confident in saying he's the most brilliant man to ever exist. You were really nervous that you were going to screw this interview up and make a terrible mess in front of Harry Styles.
"Lisa! What if I accidentally say something I shouldn't?" You ran your stressed hands through your hair.
This whole morning had been frantic. It had started off by you waking up late, no thanks to Lisa, your best-friend and co-worker, pressing snooze on the alarm. You wanted to look professional today so you'd put on your best shirt - only to spill coffee down it ten minutes later. So now, you smelt of coffee and were wearing what was left in your wardrobe - and it wasn't much. The only things left clean were a pair of pink corduroy flares and some, pastel coloured, graphic t-shirt to go with it.    
"You won't. Stop being so negative." Lisa rolled her eyes, probably fed up with the amount of winging she'd heard from you this morning - and you'd only been awake an hour.
"My outfit is hardly professional either." You huffed, pouring the rest of your, second, coffee down the drain.
"Well I think you look gorgeous." Lisa stated, whilst putting her breakfast bar wrapper in the bin.
You and Lisa were back and forth about you stressing, and such, for about half an hour before you had to leave. You had a great panic about losing your glasses too. You could see without them up close, but for long distance viewing and reading you were practically blind. You were taking Lisa's car, since she didn't think you were emotionally stable enough to drive. Lisa was the creative director on the set, and thank goodness she was so you could at least ramble to someone.
After a two hour drive up from London, you arrived at Stonehenge and it was freezing. Although the sun was out, it did nothing to keep your body heated. The journey up had been nice because you sat in your nicely heated car, chatting away with Lisa and blasting some Harry Styles out of the speaker. You'd made it through the first album, and the second one up to Canyon Moon before reaching your destination.
Upon arriving you could just about, without glasses, make out about 15 other cars, arranged at the bottom of a hill. There was an array of Audis and BMWs, a few Range Rovers, which you placed your bets on one was Harrys, and a green, vintage, Jaguar which was most likely belonging to the fashion editor or something. There was also a modern barn, perched at the foot of the hill, which was where Harry would be getting changed in to his various different outfits.
It took you a moment to register that Lisa had parked and was already clambering out of the car, making you look a little idiotic still blankly staring at the beautiful scenes in front, and around, of you.
But it was still bloody freezing.
You jogged a little to the boot and whipped out your white cardigan. Originally you'd thought that this would've been enough to keep you warm, but now you were starting to think otherwise.
The atmosphere here was amazing. People were rushing around left, right and centre loading, and unloading, various pieces of equipment and clothes. You caught sight of brightly coloured fabrics being carried to and from various places. There were the camera crew, and presumably director, all chatting amongst themselves. The smell of the very fresh air was so lush that you'd forgotten what it smelt like - especially after years in London.
You grabbed your bag from the boot, which had your notes, recording kit and laptop stuffed inside, before locking the car and following Lisa in to the barn.
It was lovely and warm inside - a completely different climate to than the outside. It was as if it was Bali inside and Antarctica outside. Better Bali than Antarctica though.
"Ok. Let's put our stuff down over here and then go find people we need to meet and such." Lisa instructed, you still too in awe of the place to fully comprehend what was going on.
You followed Lisa and you two ended up dropping off your stuff next to some other bags. You took a liking to the purse next to your stuff. Next to your bag, it made yours seem ancient - like it was worth nothing more than a penny. It was luscious and a beautiful baby blue colour. You softly ran your hands over it, finding satisfaction in how smooth and subtle it was.
"Hope you're not planning on stealing that, love." A manly voice appeared from behind you. You whipped around to see who's bag you'd been messing with, and it was just your luck that it was to be Harry Styles'. Of all the people's it could've been it had to be his. 
Perfect.
He looked dashing. He was in black flares and his iconic 'But daddy i love him', t-shirt, along with a huge green anorak. His hair was prettily clipped back with a pink clip, presumably placed there to gave his curls greater volume. In his hand he had a pink toothbrush and you guessed he'd come back over to put it away in his bag - only to find you caressing it instead.
"Oh - no, no. Not at all. I - uh - I just thought it was beautiful." You stammered over your words, choosing them carefully to try and make you look less like an active criminal.
"Mhm." Harry nodded whilst looking you up and down, most likely judging why a peasant like you, in comparison to him, was touching his expensive property. "Well, I love your flares darlin'." Harry looked down at your trousers, his compliment making you blush a little.
"Thank you. That wasn't professional, and neither is my outfit, I know, and I apologise." You added, because you knew that if your boss knew you turned up today the way you did she would give you a right bollocking - and potentially even fire you.
"Never apologise for flares. You look amazing." Gemma perked up, making you feel more self conscious surrounded by all these other beautiful women. Gemma was in a slouchy, knitted, jumper and basic jeans - no doubt all from shops beyond your budget - and yet she looked like a model fit for the runway for Vogue.
"Okay, sorry." You apologised again, to which you, creepily, got the exact same, stern, look from the Styles siblings at the same time.
"My stylist, Harry, introduced me to big pants. He offered whether I wanted to try a pair of flares, and I was like, 'Flares? That's fucking crazy'!" Harry laughed as he told his story, earning a laugh out of you too. "Now they're my favourite item of clothing. Have a whole wardrobe dedicated to them."
"I wish he was joking." Gemma laughed at her brother and his flare obsession.
"Well you do look handsome in them, so I understand why." Your words rolls off your tongue before you could even comprehend what you were saying. Only after you finished your sentence did you completely intake what you'd just said.
"Good start." Lisa giggled to you, before turning to walk over to the coffee station. It was a help-yourself coffee bar and you knew that you were going to bed at least five cups to get over the last five minutes alone. You'd probably drain the station before letting anyone else have any.
"Oh god." You awkwardly mumbled, not daring to see how weirdly Harry would be looking at you, before walking off outside.
You had spent less than 10 minutes here and yet you'd never felt like a bigger clown. Joining the circus had never been so easy.
The outside wind hit you like a powerful leaf blower, and your hair blew around like crazy - most likely compiling into a birds nest on the top of your head.
Today was supposed to be the start of something great. Your hopes were set on a promotion from your written masterpiece, whilst enjoying the company of one of the most handsome, most lovely, most talented men of this century. Those hopes seemed a little too distant now. They seemed to mock you, as if to laugh at how you ever thought you were going to be any more successful. You'd completely, in more ways than one, made a fool of yourself in front of your interviewee, you were so underdressed, you were caught fondling his Gucci purse and you were still bloody cold.
It all felt too unprofessional for a job where professional was practically the driving force of the company.
You leaned against the barn, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself. You were a master in over-thinking, but unfortunately that wasn't something you could add to your resumé. You let your eyes close and the other senses come alive for a few moments. The sounds of distant sheep and the smell of the cold wind were just two of the senses that allowed you to take a step back for a minute, and breathe.
"Thank you." A voice interrupted you from your attempt of quick meditation. You looked to your left and noticed Harry standing there, still in the same outfit as before.
"I'm sorry?" You asked confused, taking a step away from the barn to considerately pay more attention to him.
"Thank you - for saying I look handsome in flares." He repeated, smirking when he added the second part.
"Oh." Was all you could respond, feeling too embarrassed to take the conversation any further. "I should—" You pointed back to the barn, using it as an excuse to leave before yet screwed up anymore.
"Lisa told me you're the interviewer." Harry added, and it only occurred to you that you'd never actually introduced yourself. "So it's lovely to finally meet you Y/N." He stuck out his hand for your to shake, which you did willingly. His hands were a lot softer than you'd expected.
"Ho... You know my name?" You asked surprised.
"Of course. I also know you're the best writer in Vogue right now." He flattered you, which made you blush. You had a feeling he'd make you do that a lot today.
"Sure." You rolled your eyes as you spoke sarcastically.
"Well I chose you for a reason, didn't I?" He rhetorically asked.
"I mean.. I, well.. I don't know?" You stumbled over your words, making yourself look like a larger fool than you did already. Today was just turning out to be exactly what you didn't want it to be. "Sorry."
"Stop apologising. You do it too often." He told you, nearly making you apologise again but he gave you a jokingly stern look, as if he knew what you were going to say, and so you decided otherwise.
"Harry!" You both turned to see there was a man waving towards you both, but specifically to Harry. "Come get changed!" The same man shouted. Harry lifted his thumbs up, as if to signal he'd be there shortly.
Harry turned back to you and noticed you shiver a little.
"I'll start the interview after I come back from the dressing rooms, yeah?" Harry asked, taking off his, khaki green, trench-coat in the process. He handed it to you before you could oblige against it.
"Wait what?" You confusedly looked down at the coat and back up to Harry.
"Gives me a piece of mind knowing my interviewer isn't going to die of hypothermia before actually interviewing me." He smiled, obviously attempting to crack a joke and you have to admit you did laugh.
"Thank you." You say, before he runs off to where he's being called to.
                                                            ••••
You'd been sat inside for a little while, waiting for Harry to come back. It gave you time to perfect your questions though.
Thinking up questions to ask Harry had been a challenging task, but one that you'd been fully invested in. You loved creating questions to ask him that were going to get to understand him on a deeper level. He was a very private man, and you completely respected that. If you crossed any boundaries, with the questions you'd ask, you would write them out of the interview. You liked to think you hadn't thought up a question that would make him feel uncomfortable though.
Pissing off Harry would be on another level of shame.
"Coat kept you warm?" Harrys voice disengaged you from your notebook.
"Hm?" You asked then replayed what he'd just asked in your mind. "Oh, yes. Thank you very much." You stood up, from where you'd been perched on the floor, picking up your nearly finished green tea as you did so.
Only when you stood up did it come to your realisation that Harry was now in costume. He was dressed in luxury. Each item looked like it cost more than your rent, and that was saddening. He looked rich and luxurious. To be quite honest, you were finding it rather difficult to take your eyes off him.
"You think the outfit is Vogue enough?" Harry asked, striking a few poses, which made you laugh. It was refreshing to see him act so relaxed and carefree, rather than a stuck-up-prick you knew some celebrities to be.
"Completely. I love it!" You exclaimed, appreciating the twirl he did for you.
He was wearing a kilt-like skirt and he looked beyond beautiful in it. Fuck toxic masculinity. Fuck being a manly man - like what does that even mean? Harry was embracing gender fluidity and experimenting the ways in which there was no definitive line between men and women's clothes anymore, and you thought it was marvellous. Revolutionary, for times as politically and socially troubled as these.
You started removing the coat in attempt to give it back to him, but he refrained you from doing so by holding on to your forearm.
"Keep it. I thought we could go outside to start the interview, so you'll be needing that." Harry told you, and you agreed - however reluctantly that was. You couldn't really complain though, because the coat did kept you warm and, what's better, it smelt divine - just like you'd imagine Harry to smell.
"Okay. Thank you. Do you want to go now?" You asked hesitantly, not knowing whether he was busy for someone else right now.
"Whenever you're ready, love." He answered, making you feel more relaxed. He was going at your pace and was making you feel settled - he was even more of a gentleman than people described him to be.
The two of you had walked around the backside of the barn in silence, enjoying the comfort of each other's presence. Well, at least you were. It was a blessing no one was back here. It was just you, Harry and the scenery that surrounded Stonehenge.
You approached a bench and you plopped yourself down on one end, whilst Harry sat on the other. He respected the fact that there was a pandemic going on, and didn't want to make you uncomfortable in any way. You still had your mask on, so Harry had taken that as you were very conscious about the virus - which he admired.
You pulled out your glasses, from the depths of one of the coat pockets, and placed them on your face, probably making yourself look even geekier than you already felt. Today was just one of those days you wished you had good eyes...
You opened your spent notebook, musty pages practically falling apart, and turned to the section of questions you needed for that interview. You were so nervous already and you hadn't even asked anything yet, all because of the previous interactions with Harry today. Your shaky hands shuffled through the pages and you cursed under your breath when you struggled to find what you needed.
"Shoot. Come on." You mumbled quietly under your breath, hoping it would make this terrible situation end faster. You mustn't have been as quiet as you thought though.
"Y/N." Harry's name broke through your clouded mind of self-disappointment.
You looked up at him to see him softly smiling at you, blowing all worries away from you away with the wind. "Yes?" You timidly asked, pushing your wind-swept hair out of glasses - where it'd gotten caught.
"You’re alright, love. You don't have to be professional around me, alright? We're just two strangers having a conversation, to get to know each other, okay?" If his words didn't calm you enough, the soothing sound of his husky voice certainly did.
"But that would mean you asking me stuff too?" You replied, confused at his implications of the phrasing 'getting to know each other'.
"Mhm." Harry nodded his head.
"Oh I don't know Mr Styles, i'm not a very interesting person." You answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, pushing your glasses back up the bridge of your nose from where they'd fallen.
"I refuse to believe that." Harry chuckled, making a quick smile appear on your face. "And please call me Harry. Just Harry." He begged, obviously finding it weird you calling him by his professional title. All you wanted, ever, was for your interviewee's to feel comfortable and safe, so if Harry wanted you to call him Harry then so be it.
"Ok, Harry," you sarcastically said, earning a shake of the head on his behalf, "you can ask me a few questions throughout the day." You told him, but you knew he'd struggle to find even two questions when he realises how bland you are.
"Does that mean you only get to ask me a few as well?" Harry smirked, already knowing the answer to that question. Unlike Harry, you had to write an article about today when you got home and so he knew that you'd have to dig as much dirt as possible from him.
"No, sorry. I don't particularly want to lose my job." You paused to look down at your notes, squinting a little as you did to see better. "Okay. Tell me your experience with corona virus."
"Sorry I didn't quite catch that, love." Harry apologised, leaning in slightly to see if he could hear you a second time around.
"Sorry." You looked down to fiddle with your fingers - a habit you'd undertaken when you're embarrassed. "Um..," you cleared your throat, "would you mind if I took off my mask?"
Your timid voice sent tingle down Harrys spine. He didn't think anyone could ever be this sweet. "Not at all, ‘course you can." He replied, again, wanting to make you feel as comfortable as possible.
You hesitantly took off your face mask, feeling like you were in some dramatic movie where they face revealed someone. You kind of liked having the mask on, because, for one, it kept you warm, and for two, you were a little self conscious with how you looked compared to all the other women here today. You shoved the mask in your pocket, with trembling fingers, before looking back down to your notes.
"Woah." You heard Harrys voice being mumbled under the wind. You eyes shot up to his and you noticed him staring right back at you.
"W-what? Is my acne playing up? I knew I should've—" You self-consciously run your hands over the areas you know you got acne. The masks really didn't help when it came to skin care.
"Hey, stop. No. You just... You look beautiful." Harry complimented you, and a roaring blush arose on to your cheeks. You'd never been called beautiful before, and so you were taking the compliment like such a 13-year old.
"Oh, uh, thank you." You awkwardly answered, not really having any other words come to mind in that moment. Harry chuckled under his breath, still keeping eyes on you for some reason.
"Would you mind repeating your last question, I didn't quite catch it?" Harry asked politely.
"Sure. Um, tell me how you've experienced corona virus." You repeated for him, gripping ahold of your pen to start copying what he says and pressing start on your recording device in case you needed it later.
"Well, it's been tedious that's for sure. However, I just want people to be safe and for life to return back to normal, so therefore i've been very MIA for a lot of the time. Keeping to myself mostly. I only went out for hikes or bike rides. All my meetings were online, so it's been very lonely." Harry kept eye contact with your figure the entire time, and if it weren't for you concentrating on writing what he was saying then you'd probably melt away under his gaze.
For such soft eyes he sure was intimidating.
"I presume the loneliness sent you crazy at times." You laughed, because you sure felt that way through lockdown. Curse being single.
"You have no idea." Harry laughed along with you, making you, slowly, feel more at ease.
"Actually, you'd be surprised." You looked at him unsure, before returning down to your notebook.
"Okay then, first question from me," Harrys words made your head shoot up, "How can someone as amazing as yourself be lonely?" He asked and you made a mental tally of how many questions he'd asked.
"Could ask you the very same question, Harry." You slyly replied, avoiding the question by answering with another question. It was a tactic you'd learnt, throughout your years of journalism, when you wanted to dismiss something .
"That's cheating." Harry pointed at you and raised his eyebrows, but you couldn't take your eyes off the big, cheeky, smile perched on his face. You shrugged you're shoulders in defence and returned to your questions. "But you did just call me amazing, so I think i'll let it slide this one time." You blushed, again, when you understood what he meant.
He was amazing though - that was the truth.
"You were in L.A. for the majority of quarantine, am I right to say?" You already knew the answer but your manager had just wanted confirmation.
"Yeah, but L.A. feels like holiday, whereas London feels like home." He answered, which you appreciated. He hasn't got lost in the way that Hollywood could let people. He'd stayed grounded.
"So what did you entertain yourself with during quarantine?" You asked curiously, slightly side-tracking from your pre-written questions - just because you were intrigued (nosey).
"Not much, not to be boring. I ate a lot of bread. I worked out pretty much every day. I wrote quite a bit actually." He used his fingers to pinch his bottom lip, something you'd noticed he did in interviews.
"Does that mean a new album on the way?" Your inner fangirl was screaming at the thought of HS3.
"Can neither confirm nor deny." Harry smirked to himself, like the cheeky bugger he is.
"That's a yes then." You joked, pretending to write it down in your notes.
"You're impossible, you." Harry laughed and shook his head. It made you feel all funny the way you could make him smile like that. You were the source of his happiness for just that moment, and that was enough to make you feel happy for a lifetime - not that he felt the same.
"Next question," you stated, moving swiftly on because you knew you had limited time, "How's your experience with Vogue been so far?"
"Wonderful. Everyone has been so welcoming and that makes it so much easier for me to have fun. It's daunting going at things alone, but i'm getting slowly used to it now." Harry sniffled a little, probably due to the freezing cold weather here.
"Must be strange, not having four best friends around you, all the time, anymore." You stated rather than asked him, sure that he was missing his bandmates. I mean, you were - so he definitely would be.
"Brothers." Harry replied, making you look up at him confused.
"I'm sorry?" You asked, giving him your full attention.
"You said four best friends. Well, actually they're my brothers." His words actually caused a rift in your heart. You could feel it being pulled apart and torn in to two. If you wrote this in to the magazine the fans would have a worldwide passing-away-party.
"Harry." You said softly, slightly tearing up at his words. "God, I swear i'm not normally this emotional." You chest your throat and try to establish your dignity - however there wasn't that much left anymore.
"Oh shut up." Harry looked away obviously trying to hide the fact that he was tearing up too. You laughed at him but didn't draw any more attention to it than you guessed he would've wanted.
"They mean a lot to you then?" You asked, hopefully not treading on any unwanted territories.
"Much more than a lot, yeah." Harry nodded his head, turning it back to face you. He could tell this conversation was now off-the-record because of your closed notebook, your undivided attention towards him and the fact you’d turned off the recording device. He liked being able to look at you, rather than the top of your head. He swore you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.
"You still see them often?" 
"Not as often as i'd like. Niall did come around the other week to drop off some old guitars he didn't want anymore, and then we ended up playing around with some music for a bit." He admitted, which stitched your heart back together.
"So does that mean a Narry collab?" You teased, biting your bottom lip in anticipation.
"Narry? You so are a directioner." He laughed along with you.
"And you just avoided my question, therefore there is a song out there written only by you and Niall." You concluded, which shut him up.
This conversation was going a lot better than expected. Certainly a lot better than earlier. You will be permanently scarred by the way you spoke to him and handled his belongings. It was going to haunt you forever - and yet he'd forget about it by tomorrow. Or maybe he wouldn't, which is why you felt the need to apologise.
"Harry?" You asked, clearly indicating this was still a conversation away from the interview.
"Yes Y/N?" He watched you intently, listening to your every word.
"I, um, just wanted to apologise for my behaviour earlier. I was just really nervous to meet you, and to be honest still am. I didn't mean to touch your stuff without your consent and I certainly didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with any of my comments. So, i'm sorry. I can only imagine the awful, yet true, things you must think of me." You rambled really quickly, that you were uncertain whether Harry even caught one word of what you'd says.
"Do you know why I asked for you to interview me Y/N?" Harry asked, which wasn't the first thing you expected him to say after your apology.
"No. I...well Lisa told me it was because I can write well or something." You suggested, not wanting to sound egotistical.
"I mean you do write perfectly, but no." You were intrigued now. "I asked for you because I, and this is not for your magazine, have a secret - but not-so-secret - crush on you." This time it was Harrys turn to blush.
"Harry... you don't have to say that to—"
"I'm not saying it for anything. I sincerely think you are the most delightful, most prettiest, most fucking sweetest person i've ever met." Harry exclaimed, which you were taken aback by. Never, ever, did you think that Harry Styles would proclaim his likeness towards you. Ever.
"Harry don't mess with me, please." You shyly spoke, tilting your head down in disbelief that the Harry Styles was smitten about you.
He shuffled along the bench, stopping a little way from you but close enough to reach out for you. Your heartbeat increased when you noticed his hand move closer towards you. It didn't stop till he reached your face. He took his time, courteously, pushing your hair behind your ear before removing you of your glasses. He held the right-eye frame and slowly pulled the glasses off your face.
Once he'd successfully taken them off he folded them up and placed them alongside your closed notebook.
"Can see those pretty eyes now." He whispered quietly, but loud enough for you to hear.
"Don't lie. They're so dull." You mumbled, lifting your head up slightly. His face was still away from you.
"Not to me they're not." He retaliated, looking deep into your eyes as you did his. "I hate this corona virus."
"Why?" His words were so out of the blue sometimes, it gave you whiplash.
"Because I can't be as near to you as I want to be." Harry told you. And yeah, you hated corona too. It was getting a little laborious now.
"Smooth, Styles." You chuckled. You wondered how many new and weird pick-up lines could be made from covid. 
"I know." He winked, which honestly would have made you throw up if it were any other man on the planet. Somehow, though, Harry just made it seem attractive - along with every other thing that man ever did. "After this, would you like to come back to my house for a cuppa tea?" He asked sweetly, like a five year old asking whether you wanted to play together.
"Okay. Lisa was my ride though." You said more to yourself than anything else, debating on how you'd even get to Harrys. Uber? Taxi? Lisa? Walk?
"I'll drive us, it's fine. I have to drop Gem off, but i'd be more than happy to chauffeur you." Harry kindly offered, to which you were internally screaming about. You were literally, and metaphorically, having a field-day with all this Harry content and interview.
"Are you sure? I don't want to be a burden." You question politely, not wanting to overstep any boundaries - especially in these covid infested times.
"Of course. I wouldn't have offered otherwise." He protested, waving his hand at if to say it was no bother. You were already trying to work out, in your head, how much petrol money you were going to owe him.
"Then i'd be honoured to have a brew with you Harry." You giggled at how cringe you were being, even if this was just your normal self speaking.
"Great." Harry genuinely smiled, teeth and all. "My shoot should take a couple of hours, but feel free to continue to write and journal. I'm looking forward to reading this particular article." He winked at you before standing up.
"Wonder why?" You sarcastically asked, knowing full-well it was due to his exposure of his own feelings towards you. Even though you'd never says anything back you were quite in agreement on how you felt about him, like he did you. He would be a narcissist to say he knew you liked him the same, out loud, but he knew. And you knew that he knew.
"Wonder why indeed." He gave you one last smile before he'd disappeared for the rest of the afternoon, leaving you to digest and relive the past half an hour or so.
Being Harry Styles' crush was probably the biggest flex you could ever make.
                                                          ••••
After Harry had finished up his shoot he was quick to come find you again.
You'd watched parts of his shoot and he looked magnificent. There wasn't a good enough word to describe how amazing he looked. Harry, his stylist, was probably the best stylist out there. His fashion choices were unmatched and you wanted him to be yours. You were not rich enough nor fashionable enough, ironic for working in a a fashion company, to hire a stylist, but you would if you could.
You were so proud to see what he was achieving now as the person that he was. Harry was just being Harry, without the devilish control of shitty managements or ridiculous amounts of PR stunts. Harry was more free than ever, and it definitely showed just how much he was enjoying it.
You were certain that this Vogue magazine would break the internet - his fans were good at doing that. This could be a turning point for many people, with their outdated and ignorant views. There was no room for people with racist or homophobic or transphobic or xenophobic - and the list does go on - views anymore.
You were waiting by the front door of the barn, to catch Harry as he walked past. You caught sight of him in a white robe, presumably to get changed back into his everyday clothes. He looked really pretty in the robe - very domestic actually.
Today had been a good day.
Harry asked you to send over the more specific Vogue questions to him via email, so he could devote more time in to answering them in a lot more depth. You thought he meant you'd be sending them to some PA in his team, but you were shocked to understand he'd given you his personal email.
People were walking back to their cars and packing away the filming kit. You saw Lisa and the director talking to one another, no doubt discussing some in-work gossip.
"You ready?" Harrys voice reminded you that you'd been waiting for him. You looked to see he was back in the same clothes as this morning, only this time without his coat.
"Here?" You offered, having him over the coat once again but he declined.
"Looks better on you anyways." He winked at you, before walking through the car park and to his car. You were very surprised when you found out Harry was the one to own the green Jaguar. You assumed all celebrities drove the Range Rover, but no. The vintage car added to Harrys immaculate vibe and just made him that little bit more hot.
Harry properly introduced you to Gemma, who was equally as lovely as Harry. They were both amazing people and they were crazily alike. From the way they looked, down to the way they phrased their words, they were mistakingly twins. Gemma explained how Anne, their mum, didn't know they were doing this photoshoot and that it was going to be a surprise, which you thought was so cute.
Gemma spilt a lot of gossip on Harry, to which he got very embarrassed over. You learnt that Harrys first word was Cat. You learnt that Harry is godfather to multiple children, which you found heartwarming. You learnt Harry used to be a baker - which was something he elaborated on for a good half an hour. Harry was just a fountain of memories and Gemma was the one sharing them all with you.
The drive back to London was relaxed. You sat in the back, listening to Harry and Gemma pointlessly argue whilst an Arctic Monkeys album played in the background. You forgot that people like Harry drove, and listened to music, just like other regular people. You often misplaced celebrities in society, thinking they had everything done for them but in reality that (often) wasn't the case - at least not for Harry.
Gemma was dropped off quickly before Harry drove to his. It was no surprise that the Styles siblings didn't live too far away from each other. Harrys house was beautiful. Bigger than anything you could ever dream of buying. It was a palace compared to your cupboard-sized house. You were unbelievably jealous. He gave you the tour of the house, showing you where the toilets were, and even his panic room if necessary.
You migrated to the kitchen for a bit, talking about anything and everything. Getting to know the minuscule pieces of information that no-one else was trusted with, made you feel special. Harry made you feel special - even if he weren't meaning to.
Every moment held a spark. Every touch set off a firework. Every laugh was an electric burst. He made you feel so alive.
"We can go to the living room after this has boiled." Harry said, pointing towards the streaming kettle. He wanted to show off his fancy tea collection he had, and let you have a try if you wanted to. Harry was boring and chose the basic green tea, but, after much deliberation, you chose the cranberry green tea. It intrigued you and it sounded delicious.
"Why the extensive tea collection?" Not even you, a certified caffeine addict, had this much tea in your house. Coffee was a different story and one in which you didn't want to talk about.
"They help me with my meditation." He took the teabags and placed them in his glass mugs. They had a delicate Gucci stamp on them, and you just imagined that they probably worth the same amount as your daily salary.
"You meditate?" You were slightly surprised that he did.
"I try to yeah." Harry nodded, focusing on pouring in the boiling water into the mugs. "I've got very tight hamstrings and so it helps if I meditate twice a day."
Harry finished making the tea, in the light-filled kitchen, before showing you around to the open-lounge area. Everything was modern and chic. It was exactly how you imagined it, but better. The open, red-brick, wall was a beautiful feature and one that you were a whore for! It reminded you of New York and the memories you'd made there one summer.
The sofa was a beautiful velvet, green, sofa. It was soft and gentle, a lot like Harry when you thought about it. The whole house was an architectural masterpiece and you'd be lying if you said you weren't jealous. You sat on one end and Harry went to go and sit on the other end.
"I don't bite you know?" You joked, self-consciously wondering whether he didn't want to be sat near you.
"I know, I just don't want to step on any of your covid boundaries - which is perfectly fine by the way." He added, apprehensively taking the spot next to you.
"No, not at all." You ushered him to sit next to you, as you took a sip from your steaming hot cup of fruity tea. "If I smell though, do tell me!"
"Yeah, you smell bloody awful!" Harry sarcastically remarked, but laughing afterwards to assure you he was joking. The atmosphere went quiet for a minute, only the sounds of passing cars and deep breaths being heard.
"Y/N can I ask you something?" Harry turned the tone of the conversation. It sounded like he wanted to be more serious than you two were being beforehand.
"Anything." You encouraged him to continue. You placed the cup of tea down on the table, deciding it was too hot to drink right now, and gave him your full attention.
"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Harry questioned. You didn't think you'd be having a conversation this intense - especially if you had different opinions - on your first day of knowing each other, but here you were.
"I believe you can love someone at first sight. I don't believe you can be in love with someone at first sight. Why?" You were curious as to how his brain had journeyed to this particular topic. You'd never really had this conversation with anyone before, mainly because you were unaware of the true power, and meaning, of love.
"It uh... It doesn't matter." Harry shook his head and you could tell by his body language that he was shutting you out. Maybe you'd made him uncomfortable.
"Sorry I didn't mean to—"
"No, no. Please don't apologise. It's just - I like you a lot more than you may think." Harry shyly told you, which made you all soft inside. He was being vulnerable and that was something you admired in a partner. You didn't just need love, affection and trust in a relationship. No. You needed vulnerability and heartbreak too, and Harry was revealing that part of him to you.
"I like you a lot more than you think too." You repeated, not because you felt bad for him but because you truly did like him a whole lot. Love was a weird yet wonderful thing, and if you were to hazard a guess you'd say you loved Harry. 
You couldn't wait to be in love with him.
"Does that mean I get to crown you my girlfriend?" Harry excitedly asked. Harry happy was something that should be made a constant, and you were more than happy to be in control of that.
"At least take me out first." You bargained, wishing for nothing more than to go on a date with Harry. Where you'd go, you had no idea. Everything was closed right now and there was still the chance of becoming sick with corona, but no doubt Harry would think of something not only clever, but special.
Of course you'd love to be Harrys girlfriend. However, you wanted one more, official, opportunity to really get to know him - unprofessionally. You wanted to make sure that you knew, and he knew, that you wanted to be with him because he was the charming Harry you've come to love, not because he was Harry Styles.
"So you're allowing me to take you on a date?" Harry smirked like a little child, your heart fluttering at how excited he was to be able to treat you to dinner.
"Yes, Harry. Yes I am." You answered sweetly, offering him the cutest smile you could.
You can't believe what a turn of events today has been. You've gone from nearly writing yourself on Harrys enemy list to writing yourself on to his 'people he's dated' list. Who knows what the future would offer you. At the start of the day you had wished this whole day to end and for the ground to just swallow you up, now you never wanted it to end. It was too perfect to be true and yet it was.
Harry was the most wonderful human to exist and you were beyond surprised to be the one to catch his attention. You didn't understand why you were so special, but it was nice to feel like this for a change. It was nice to feel wanted.
                                                             ••••
A few months later and you were officially Harrys girlfriend.
It had been such a crazy few months. Harry religiously took you out on dates every week. Whether it be to grab a hotdog at a local diner, a coffee from a quaint cafe, a walk in Hyde Park or a late-night drive around London - which normally ended up with you falling asleep before you could make it back to yours. On sleepless jet-lagged nights he'll still drive through London's quiet streets, seeing neighborhoods in a new way, just as an excuse to spend time with you.
Harry often stayed over at yours. Even though you looked like you lived in a shoebox compared to Harry, he liked it. He liked the subtly and normality of it all. He wanted your life to remain as normal as possible and, apart from the occasional paparazzi incident, it did. You never had anything to complain about. Of course the online bullying created emotional wounds, at the start of your relationship, but it was nothing that Harry couldn't repair with a bit of love.
Lisa has nominated herself to be maid-of-honour when the day comes - if the day comes. Harry has already pinky sworn that you are it for him. The one, as some may say. You were utterly flattered, but you certainly unsure of what the future help for you both.
You loved Harry, you do love Harry and you will forever always love Harry.
It was ridiculous to think that all this stemmed from you working at Vogue. From you studying English Literature in a city away from London. From you dedicating you extra hours gaining work experience and money to be able get in and afford university. So many moments in life have you stopped and said 'i wish i hadn't have done that', but now you were convinced that they were the best things to have happened to you - because they lead you, all, to Harry.
And, being Harry Styles girlfriend was probably the biggest flex you could ever make.
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bylertruther · 2 years ago
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random will-centric headcanons: he knows how to make sugar cookies from scratch!
jonathan got the recipe from joyce. she worked a lot so he was the one that would always make them. will insisted on helping, but that always made such a big mess and produced such uneven cookies that jonathan eventually learned to let him help only by sprinkling the dyed sugar on top afterward, which was good enough for will lol.
it's a super simple recipe, so will learns it really quickly.
he and mike have made them a handful of times in the dead of night during sleepovers. they're trying their hardest to be quiet, shushing each other and giggling like the little rascals that they are. will insists that he take care of the flour despite mike telling him he can do it, which of course leads to will dropping or knocking over the sack and generally making a mess. mike tries to wipe some off of will's cheek and just makes it worse so will retaliates by booping some onto mike's nose and so on n so forth. they wrap themselves in blankets, huddled together on the couch afterward, and eat one-too-many before trudging off to bed. it gives them a tummy ache, but the giggles n sugar were worth it. mike takes some home after in a brown paper bag that will decorated for him.
will teaches el how to make them in lenora! it's in the beginning, when they're both grieving and trying to get to know each other, all while adjusting to a new environment. it's late, they have nothing to do, and el says she's craving something sweet. they have no waffles, will's pancakes are atrocious, and they already ate all the ice cream. thus, it's sugar cookie time. he writes down the ingredients and when they get to it, el takes to baking rather naturally. she's more precise than will is, more uniform and careful. they don't have anything to decorate or top them with, but he vows to mention something to mom for when she goes grocery shopping. they eat some together, thank each other for their company, and go to bed later that night feeling like something between them just changed for the better.
when he's older and living with mike, he finds himself making them sometimes when he feels especially homesick. he knows he could always call any of them and they'd pick up and talk his ear off, but sometimes... that just feels like too much. he knows that if his mom asks him how he is a second time, he'll just burst open and it'll all come pouring out. so.. he turns to the pantry and starts getting out the ingredients. he's better at this now. he likes making them into cool shapes. he could probably whip up some kind of icing to really decorate if he wanted to, but he just wants something sweet, warm, and soft to make him feel better. it doesn't have to be pretty—nothing in his life or about his home ever was—it just has to be made with love. mike comes home to their apartment smelling of sugar and vanilla and immediately knows why. he has one, then two, and eventually will has to put them away or else mike won't have any room left for dinner lmao. mike calls joyce later that evening for a quick chat and fills will in on the "hot goss" that is never actually hot (thank god).
will also learns to decorate and shape the cookies into whatever he feels like, mostly star wars characters / objects or whatever fits the season.
he becomes a more graceful baker as he gets older lol, but mike still watches him and the flour out of the corner of his eye 👀. (which will HATES because THAT WAS LITERALLY ONE TIMEEEEEE WE WERE TWELVE AND IT WAS DARK AND I WOULDN'T HAVE KNOCKED IT OVER IF YOU'D JUST GIVEN ME SPACEEEEEE) (to which mike goes hey. 🤨 bc he doesn't quite like the implication that he has always been this clingy thank u) (and ofc will just gives him the most unimpressed look Ever bc please be serious, michael. please be fucking serious rn)
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domsaysstuff · 2 years ago
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BL Tag Game
Thank you @kpdeek for tagging me!!
Oh god fair warning not only have I not watched a lot of bls, my mind is full of Kinnporsche so it might show up a lot ssksnsk
All time favorite BL character and why:
So it's definitely a tie between Porsche and Kinn, because both of them have a special place in my heart but in so many different ways? Like I once said it before that loving Porsche came naturally like I saw him in the first scene and said "this is my emotional support disaster bisexual and i will love him till i die" but Kinn? The way the show made me fall in love with Kinn alongside Porsche was just ahh, like I love what they did with his character and how soft and caring and goofy he also gets to be with people he cares abt. So yeah it's def between them two.
What's your one character from a BL you wanted to punt into the stratosphere?
That bitch Khai from "Theory of Love" and also Gene from "Lovely Writer"
Like Khai is just walking red flag on its own and through the first half i screamed how i hated him and through the second half of the show i just screamed "YEAH AND THAT'S ON CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR OWN ACTIONS" so like even if there were moments i felt bad for him, like truly he doesn't deserve my sympathy
And Gene oh god I was just so irritated with his character? And idk he just seemed so useless to everything and he was the main character, I don't know he just annoyed me because sometimes the potential was there and then suddenly he was just?? So stripped of his own agency by the plot that it frustrated me
Best music moment from a BL:
Definitely the beach episode one from Bad Buddy, I cried when Pran was singing that song to Pat and it was just overall lovely and bittersweet and everything I needed
A popular het text you'd like to see adapted into a BL:
Ohhh, that's a nice question. I feel like to All the Boys I've loved before would be actually a fun mindless watch bl
A scene from a BL that always makes you laugh:
Definitely the one where Pete, Arm and Pol are gossiping and Arm says that Kinn and Porsche are definitely a thing and Pete gets that look™ on his face, my poor boi
Biggest disappointment:
Lovely Writer. I think the potential was there and it wanted to bring up so many interesting discussions but idk the romance felt kinda flat most of the time for me (except the piano scene at the end, god that piano scene was so lovely and nice??) And some issues that were brought in lacked nuance in how they were represented?? At least I felt like that
What 2 random BL characters would make hilarious exes?
I'm honestly blank at that
Who would be the funniest person to watch a BL in its entirety and which one would you make them watch?
Okay so I can't really settle on like one definite person bc I think it depends on like funny as watch their reaction (bad) vs hear their commentary
Bc if the second then it must be my sister and I would have her sit with me through the whole of "Cutie Pie" because I think the amount of rich people bullshit that is happening there would throw us in laughing fits by itself but even more so when we will add our jokes
Best wardrobe moment or character wardrobe from a BL:
Okay listen I love Tankhun and his outfits, I love the red suit Kinn, I love them, I adore them
But
Vegas and his fucking red velvet shirt own me, LIKE WHERE DID HE FUCKING GET IT, SPILL THE WARDROBE GOSS PLEASE
Like look at him
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I don't care abt the rest, like that shirt with that chain keeps me up at night. I want it.
I'm tagging @layvendar @yilingbee and @i-am-church-the-cat
Have fun xx
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favouriteentertainer-blog · 6 years ago
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Chapter 4 - And I Can't Tell You Why, Because My Brain Can't Equate It
“lost in the moment, with no words to speak” 
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 
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“Um Kali—�� Zayn had been pumping for at least 5 minutes but the mattress refused to inflate. “There’s definitely a puncture in this.” He held up the tattered mattress and shoved his fist inside the giant hole I’d clearly had no idea about.
“Oh—“ I bit my lip, “so that’s what my brother meant when he said it was slightly damaged.” I slapped my hand to my forehead in frustration—I’d paid him 25 pound for the stupid thing.
“Yeah,” he continued to fiddle with the hole, “just slightly—“ he managed to shove his whole arm up there.
The two of us burst into a fit of laughter as he lobbed it across the room. As we laughed, I noticed that when he smiled—genuinely smiled, his eyes crinkled by their sides, it was a small detail, but I loved it.
“Fuck,” he spoke as we settled down, “what are we gonna do?” He leaned back on his forearms, showing off the waist I’d been enamoured with earlier.
I grabbed my water bottle from beside me and stared down at my tiny bed as I unscrewed the lid.
“You know I won’t do any weird shit if you let me up there right.” He was talking about my bed. I did know he wouldn’t, I trusted him. In the short time I’d known him, he’d been nothing but good and genuine.
“I dunno—“ I bit at my lip nervously, before remembering that there was nothing going on between us, and it would be fine because he didn’t like me the way I liked him. “I guess I could tolerate it, but the fact that I’ll be shit scared tonight cause of the movie we watched does contribute.”
“I’ll protect you don’t worry,” he winked before pulling his shirt off. He was already in a tattered pair of football shorts so I guessed he was fine to sleep in those. I could never understand how boys slept in so little clothing.
“Thank you I’ll need it.” I was dead serious, if he wasn’t staying the night I 500% already would’ve been in Hailee’s bed, or AJ’s if he was home. “You have to take the wall side.” I got out of the bed so he could jump in.
“Thanks, I’m gonna suffocate and die.” He spoke sarcastically as he jumped in.
“Wonderful, that’s just what I wanted.” I tried to put myself in a position where we weren’t touching, but it was impossible—my single bed was too tiny.
“I won’t bite,” he whispered, “you can come closer—“ his arm snaked around my waist as he tried to pull me in.
“Shut up.” I slapped his hand away. My body was giddy. I hated him. I readjusted myself so that I was actually in a comfortable position, but not too touchy.
There was an awkward silence for about 5 seconds before he said goodnight.
My head was turned away from his, so he couldn’t the look of utter confusion on my face as I pondered what to do—and then I decided, in what can only be described as a bold choice of movements to grab his arm and wrap it around me. “Goodnight,” I whispered back, he shuffled lightly and I could almost feel the smile creep onto his face as he pulled me closer.
I couldn’t help but feel guilty when I woke up. What the fuck was I doing? Was I really that disjointed after my breakup that I was losing my mind? The thought didn’t surpass me. I had let the beautiful specimen spoon me, but he had wanted to spoon me? Was it a platonic spoon? I had no idea, everything was too much for me to think about. I wished the earth would swallow me whole so I could avoid overthinking it.
I grabbed my phone to check the time—it was only 8:30am, I hadn’t even had a full 8 hours. My body 100% had noted the awkward thoughts inside my head and instead of letting me avoid them by dreaming of sunshine and happiness, my brain woke me up.
I scrolled through the messages I’d received whilst I was asleep—and almost choked when I saw one from Dan.
“Can’t stop thinking about us and what happened, please meet me, you’ve avoided my calls all week. I don’t know what else to do.”
I was ready to gag—after hearing about all my friends’ deep-rooted hatred for him I couldn’t even stand the sight of his name. I had been doing so well at avoiding him, but that was because he’d only called me twice and I knew his class schedule, so it was easy to make sure I wasn’t in the same place at the same time—when I really thought about it, I was actually surprised he hadn’t messaged me earlier.
“Go back to sleep,” Zayn grumbled from beside me, his arm moving me lightly so he could get his message across.
“Sorry,” I whispered as I wriggled back into position. My heart didn’t even backflip—I mentally patted myself on the back. Who would’ve thought that it’d take one night in bed and an annoying text from Dan to get me out of my funk.
I knew I had time, so I slowly let myself drift back to sleep—I told myself that I was going to enjoy the moment—not spend it thinking about why it was wrong or weird, I was doing that far too often when all I needed to do was appreciate what was happening.
The alarm that I’d set the night before for 10:30am blared through my room and I almost punched myself in the face—except I couldn’t because I tangled between Zayn’s limbs. I had latched on—more than latched—I was holding on for dear life.
“Why god?” He muttered to himself as the sound of my alarm assaulted his ears—he was still half asleep.
I quickly detached myself from him, hoping he’d be so thick with sleep he’d think it was just a dream. When I’d allowed my brain to detach from awkward thoughts at 8am it must’ve gone straight back to “boyfriend in my bed mode” and just done whatever it damn felt like.
I sat up and grabbed my water bottle from the bedside table.
“You are so cute when you sleep.” He slowly moved to sit up, grabbing the bottle from me in the process.
“Many would say the same.” I rolled my eyes.
“Many?” He raised an eyebrow, “you’ve had one vanilla boyfriend for the past three years.” It was an attack that I did not need to hear.
“Wow,” I narrowed my eyes as I watched him gulp down MY water, whilst he insulted me “savage.”
“So, I’m right?” He smirked. He was right, the facts were too real, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him.
“Shut up.” I snatched the bottle back.
“You were 100% scared last night.” He grinned as if it were something to be excited about.
“No, I wasn’t.” I wasn’t lying, I had no recollection of what I’d dreamt about—which in my eyes was a great thing, because if I had been scared, I didn’t have to re-live the terrifying scenes.
“Uhhhh, you definitely were, you spent the whole night holding onto me the way you had been just then.” Dammit, I mentally cursed—he had realised. “I’d say you let go for maybe two hours.” He was loving the fact that me in my dream state needed him. “I’m pretty sure you were like crying at one stage too.”
I wanted to let out a loud groan internally, but my body wasn’t functioning properly, so I let it out externally. I was embarrassed, so, so, so embarrassed. How could my brain have let me down like that? Sometimes I was my own worst enemy.
“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.” He smiled the smile that told me he was genuine, but I just couldn’t smile back—I was the fucking worst.
A knock on my door, startled me—my brain went to push Zayn off the bed, but there was nowhere to push him off, instead, I pushed him straight into the wall.
“Owwww,” he groaned as he rubbed his shoulder. The knock came again—his eyes darted between me, the door and his shoulder. “Come in” he called out without warning, as if he were trying to punish me for hurting him.
I gasped in horror as my door creaked opened—I didn’t know what to do so I flung myself off my bed and onto the floor. Hailee stood in my doorway eyeing me down, she then looked towards my bed where Zayn was waving at her like the little demon he was.
“What are you doing on the floor?” She questioned.
“Um, nothing.” I patted the carpet, “I slept here.” I was not being convincing, especially because she’d probably heard me hit the damn floor with a ‘thud’.
“Right, Okay. Well—I heard your alarm and wanted to know if you guys wanted to get breakfast.” She was watching me carefully, I was still stroking the carpet. “Will you get up.” She scolded me.
I pouted as I rose to my feet and sat myself on the edge of the bed, making sure to also elbow Zayn in the ribs. He let out a grunt in pain and I smiled in satisfaction—that would teach him not to play games with me.
“Yes we can go for breakfast.” I agreed, I turned to Zayn, “Do you wanna come?” I was inviting him out of courtosey, but deep down I wanted a little break so that I could get my thoughts assembled.
“I can’t,” he said regretfully, “I gotta get to work at 12.” He was still holding onto his rib.
“That’s a shame,” Hailee lied. She loved that he wouldn’t be attending, because she wanted to milk me for goss. “I’ll ask Lily and AJ if they wanna join.” When she said that I knew she was really assembling the gang for a big, fat gossip.
“Do you know if he’s home?” Zayn asked, “cause if he isn’t I’m wearing Kali’s clothes to work.” He was joking, I hoped—I wouldn’t put something like that past him. He would also 100% fit in my clothes, if anyone fit the saying “snap like a twig” it was him.
“He’s home,” she laughed lightly.
“Wonderful,” he shuffled past me to hop off the bed. “See you girls later, thanks for letting me crash.” He pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his phone before sauntering out like a nobody.
As soon as I heard my front door close I let out the loudest groan of frustration and feel back onto my bed.
“Okay,” Hailee took a seat beside me, “are you gonna tell me what the fuck I just witnessed? I know you didn’t sleep on this bloody floor.” I knew I hadn’t convinced her.
“Ohhhhhhh, I’m so done for.” I clapped my hands to my face. “Nothing happened, promise, we just slept in the same bed cause the fucking mattress had a hole in it.” I was honestly going to kill my brother, but also send him a thank you letter.
“Then why are you done for?!” She asked as if it weren’t blatantly obvious.
“Because I think I REALLY like him, and we’re out here sharing a bed platonically and I was latched onto him for the whole damn night.” I was just spouting words, I didn’t even know if they made sense. “And he held my handdddddd—“ I whined, “he held my hand in the scary parts—Dan never did that. AND DAN,” I’d forgotten about Daniel completely. “DAN SENT ME A MESSAGE THIS MORNING SAYING HE WANTS TO TALK.” I was almost on the verge of tears, I was having a nervous breakdown. It was warranted, but unexpected all the same.
“I don’t know how you think he doesn’t like you.” She shook her head, “I think he likes you as much as you like him.”
“OR—“ I stopped her, “he’s just a really great friend.” I nervously played with the hem of my PJ top. The whole situation was making me feel sick.
“I dunno,” she sighed, both were pretty valid and I was 100% leaning towards my option.
I knew that I caught feelings too easily, someone could hold the door open for me and I’d fall in love—which explained why I’d dated Dan for three years, cause he was the only one who was interested. Zayn has only known me for approximately 5 days, there was no way he was feeling what I was feeling, I knew he was purely in it for friendship.
“Let’s just go eat,” I cried, “I need an eggs benny to cheer me up.” There were few things that could cheer me up, but food and friendship were definitely certain to make me feel better.
“Soooo,” AJ smirked as soon as he sat down at the table—he was staring directly at me.
“What?” Lily asked him, she had no idea what was going on.
“You and my cousin huh?” He was still talking directly at me, a stupid smile etched on his face.
“Your cousin and my foot up his ass.” I replied, “he’s so annoying.” I was worried, because I didn’t know if Zayn had said anything to him. If he had told him we’d slept in the same bed I’d be done for, but Zayn seemed pretty private.
“Oh cmon,” AJ waved off my comment, “you guys, so cute.” He was joking, but I wished he wasn’t. “You know he’s single right?
“Am I missing something here?” Lily continued to question us.
“Zayn is AJ’s cousin, but other than that nothing else.” Hailee informed her. I was glad she hadn’t brought up what had happened in the morning, I would’ve died if she had.
“Wow.” Lily shook her head, “small world.”
“Indeed,” AJ agreed. “And what about you Hailee, what’s new? Give us an update on your love life.” He flipped through the menu as he interrogated her.
“My love life is a shit hole, honestly just don’t know what’s going on—men are trash.” She sighed heavily and picked up her phone to scroll through messages.
“Amen.” I agreed, “Dan wants me to meet up with him.” I informed Lily and AJ.
“You should go,” AJ said.
“What?! Why?!” I was completely stumped, “you hate him.”
“You should go and tell him why you don’t want to be with him anymore, remind him how shit he is and crush his heart into tiny little pieces.” He spoke the words nonchalantly as he sipped on his water.
“Harsh,” Hailee commented, she hated conflict and being overly mean.
“I like it,” Lily nodded, “break him down.” She made a fist with her hand and squeezed.
“I wouldn’t even know what to say?!” I picked at my sweater. The polyester was starting to bead and I really needed a new one, but I was having trouble finding ones that fit me as nicely as the one I was wearing did.  
“How about, why didn’t you ever hold my hand during scary movies?” Hailee suggested—my leg moved to kick her so quickly it was unbelievable. She let out a small chuckle and I shook my head. The other two didn’t even pretend to figure out what she was trying to say.
“We should go to this event tomorrow night—“ AJ completely changed the topic, “I wanna take Zayn out.”
“Surely he’s been out on campus?” I raised an eyebrow. There was so much to do and I was pretty sure he’d been around longer than us.
“Nah, he’s been cuffed up for the past 3 years, hasn’t gotten out much. She was very controlling.” AJ waved the waiter over, and we all pretended like we didn’t see what he was doing—He was very impatient when it came to restaurants, the type of impatient that made you uncomfortable.
“Jheeze, I wonder who else has been living that way?” Hailee murmured as they all looked towards me.
“Lies!” I disagreed, “I used to come out with you guys.” I never missed any of their parties or events. I may not have gone out excessively when I was dating Dan, but I made sure I was always there for them.
“Not often.” Aj fired back. “Which is why we should push you two fresh singles out into the open.” He loved playing love guru and it killed me.
“I’m down for going out, I was never opposed to this idea—“ I had no idea why the plan was falling back on me.
“Then it’s settled, we go out.” He winked. “I’ll buy the tickets, you guys can just give me the cash.” I could see him opening up the facebook page to make the purchase—the devil worked hard, but he worked harder. The boy knew what he wanted in life and I did admire it. -
“Hey K—“ my room door was left slightly ajar, leaving room for my flatmate Kathy to pop her head in. “Ooooooooo,” she stared at me from head to toe, “you look lovely, haven’t seen you dressed up in a long time.” She shimmied into my room, a bottle of wine in her hand.
I let out a light laugh as I continued to swipe powder across my face. “Thank you, what’s up?” She never came to see me unless she needed to borrow something.
“Do you have any nice perfume I can borrow, I’m out?” She was surveying herself in my mirror and I watched on curiously as she pulled down on her eyelid and stared at it—I had no idea what she was doing but didn’t question it. I could also smell her red wine breath from where she was standing and it made me feel slightly sick.
“Mmmmmmm, yeah—“ I handed her a bottle of Victoria’s Secret body spray that had been laying in my cupboard for a year and a half. I was never going to use it so I was fine with letting her go for it. “Here you go, use as much as you want.”
“Thanks! You’re a legend. Will return it later—“ She waltzed out of my room, I knew she wasn’t going to return it. She never returned my stuff, and if she did it was weirdly disfigured—hence why I’d gotten into the habit of giving her stuff I didn’t use.
I stared at myself in the mirror—I looked good, I really did, but I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that it just wasn’t good enough. I really wanted to look amazing, but I felt like my whole look had turned out average.
My mind always seemed to remind me that there would be someone skinnier or prettier—someone who people would look at and their jaws would drop—I wasn’t that person, I bloody tried my best to be her, but my inner demons didn’t let me forget that I wasn’t enough. Things had been easier when I was with Dan, he was always there to remind me that I was okay enough to be with. He didn’t boost my morale much with his words, but his presence had helped. Ever since I had admitted to myself and Hailee that I did like Zayn, things were a bit harder for me. It was going to be much harder to try and make him like me, especially because he was significantly better looking than Dan and there was no doubt that girls would be throwing themselves at him.
I felt dejected as I ruffled my through my hair one more time—it was way too thin and made my head look rounder than it was, purely because it was so flat. I touched up my eyeliner before stepping back—it was the last time I was going to look at myself. I wasn’t going to think about changing, even though the thought had run through my mind 500 times. I swept over my bodysuit where some stray power had fallen and hiked up my jeans—I reminded myself that I was fine, grabbed my purse, made my bed and headed into the lounge.
“Fuck meeeeee,” Lily called as I stepped into the lounge area, “you look fit as hell! Loving the titties.” She was referring to the plunge in my bodysuit. I looked down and smiled, she’d already made me feel ten times better than I had when I’d left my room.
“Agree.” Hailee nodded, passing me my bottle of wine as I took a seat next to AJ.
“I mean, I’d say the hair needs work, but other than that you look fine.” He tried to reach for my hair but I swatted his hand away. That was as close to a compliment as I’d ever get.
“Thank you, I love you all.” My friends knew how to ease my mind when I was my own worst enemy.
“See this is so nice,” Hailee said intently as she watched me unscrew the lid on my bottle. “We haven’t gotten drunk like this in so long!” They were more than ready for me to break my sobriety.
I took a sip of my wine and gagged—the first sip was always the worst. “Hopefully I do not vomit tonight.” I hadn’t been drunk in so long, my tolerance was at an all-time low and the danger levels were high.
“Remember when you vomited in your own hair and asked whose vomit it was? Classic!” Hailee had cracked herself up and almost spilt her drink as she rocked back in laughter.
“Ha ha ha,” I tried not to laugh, but it was so hard to hold it in—I really did the most to embarrass myself.
“Where’s Zayn?” I turned to ask AJ who was scrolling through the playlist he’d curated. I had expected him to be out in the lounge already and had mentally prepared myself to see him.
“Having a fag.” His eyes didn’t budge from the screen.
I nodded, despite the fact that he wasn’t looking at me and took another swig of my wine. I was terrified to see him, I knew that in the back of my mind I just wanted him to think I looked good and I hated myself for it. I wasn’t supposed to be dressing for someone else, I was supposed to be living my life for me and me only.
As if right on cue the front door opened and I suddenly glued my eyes to my phone. I didn’t want to look at him, but it was inevitable when he sat himself right next to me.
“Alright?” He smiled, he stank of fresh air and stale cigarette smoke. I wished it would’ve made him look more putrid, but it didn’t, it made him look ten times better.
“Good, you?” I panicked and drank more wine. He looked effortlessly good in his skinny jeans, black t-shirt and leather jacket—I was so weak it was sad, I didn’t want to stop looking at him. He wore the same thing to work, but there was something so different about it in the damn setting we were in.
“Yeah fine,” he ran a hand through his hair and picked up a beer from the table. “You look nice by the way, is this a post break-up revenge look?” he leaned forward to grab the bottle opener. His eyes floated to my boobs as he moved  and I pretended not to notice.
“No, I have no need for that.” I scrolled through my Instagram feed. I could feel my face heating up and I was hoping with everything I had that I wasn’t turning even slightly pink.
“Don’t lie,” AJ finally set his phone down. “Dan texted her this morning saying he wants to talk, and she knows he’s going to be there tonight, hence the look.” He hit Zayn upside the head and from the corner of my eyes I watched him signal that his eyes needed to be up not down. Zayn didn’t even respond, he just shook his head and returned back to his phone.
“Are we forgetting that I broke up with him?” I threw my hands into the air, “I have nothing to prove to that loser!” I didn’t even know Dan was going to be in attendance. He could suck my big toe for all I cared—as the days went by I was realising how much better life was without him beside me. When I was in “love” I mistook his controlling ways as affection.
“But you’re gonna crush his soul with the way you look tonight.” Lily nodded, my gal was always in support of everything I did.
Zayn chuckled as he took a sip, “I’ve opened a can of worms.”
“Like always.” I rolled my eyes and chugged down more wine—I was definitely in for a long night. “You all look great tonight by the way, I’m so glad to have such an attractive group of best friends.” It wasn’t even a compliment for the sake of friendship, I really meant what I said.
“I always look good.” Zayn smirked.
“I said best friends.” I took another sip of wine. “You’re not.” I patted him on the back and got back to what I was doing, pretending like I didn’t care when I really did.
“So you don’t wanna be friends?” He asked, running a finger over my knee.
“I didn’t say that.” I grabbed his hand and moved it away.
“Okay little miss goddess, we’ll see.”
I hadn’t been out in so long that I’d actually forgotten how to conduct myself in a club. I just stood in the middle of the dance floor for a second, a bit dazed and confused. I was still with Lily and Hailee, AJ had gone for a cigarette and Zayn had disappeared.
I was bobbing my head to what I assumed was EDM music and just tried my best to vibe with it. I was drunk, real drunk, but it was a good buzz that I hadn’t felt in a while. It didn’t however stop me from being pissed off that Zayn had practically run away. We’d been at the club for 2 hours and he hadn’t come back once, my feelings were hurt—but I wasn’t surprised, I knew my efforts to look good had been in vain.
I wondered a little away from the girls for a second, wanting to head over to the bar to get myself another drink—but before I could even move 10 steps a hand grabbed my wrist from behind. I spiralled around to see who it was and almost fell straight onto my arse.
“Hey babe,” Dan tried to pull me in for a hug, but I backed away. I had no idea why he thought he had permission to hug me.
“Hey,” I shouted over the music as I wriggled my wrist free. “You alright?” I asked out of common courtesy—I didn’t really care how he was.
“Yeah,” he leaned in to speak to me so he didn’t have to shout, “can we go out into the smokers area to have a chat?” He was disgustingly close, and it made my skin crawl. I honestly did not know how I’d coped when he was around me 24/7.
I thought about his proposition for a second and was about to say no—but I also knew that if I didn’t say yes, he’d keep annoying me, so I nodded and began to lead the way. It wasn’t going to kill me to try and have a chat with him, but I also knew deep down that I probably wouldn’t listen to a word he was going to say. I loved myself for the ability to tune him out.
As we walked, I made sure to maintain my distance, I did not want him getting any sort of impression. When we hit the corner I had to stop in my tracks—my feet rooted themselves into the ground and I honestly felt like someone had slapped me straight on the face. I was being confronted by Zayn with his tongue down someone else’s throat and all I could do was stare. I wasn’t even subtly staring, I was stood there, my mouth wide open and my heart pounding in my chest as I watched him snog the pink haired beauty. All I could see was her side profile, but I knew she’d have to be out of this world beautiful if she was kissing him.
My heart didn’t know how to feel—part of me said “I told you, you weren’t good enough” and the other part said “you’re actually crazy, the two of you are just friends.” My chest felt heavy, the weight could not be described. I could feel the lump in my throat begin to rise, and I couldn’t do anything except continue to watch.
“Why have you stopped—“ Dan continued to push me forward. Zayn stayed in his spot, not even noticing me. “C’mon,” he leaped in front of me and pulled me forward.
“No,” I groaned as I pulled back. I didn’t want to talk to anyone in that moment, let alone to him. “I don’t want to talk to you, just fuck off and leave me alone.” I knew I was snapping and was slightly out of line, but I didn’t care. “Just get over it, you treated me like shit and you were fucking boring—I don’t want to be with you Dan, get over it.” I balled my hands into fists and stormed off—I’d left him standing there gobsmacked—he was too shocked to even chase after me.
I rounded the corner and found my way back to Hailee and Lily, I bounced my way back to beside them and tried my best to pretend nothing was wrong. “I’m gonna get a drink,” I told them, “does anyone want one?” I was moving into damage control and I didn’t even care—situations like the one I was in could only be fixed by alcohol.
They both shook their heads and I nodded. I stormed towards the bar and bitterly ordered myself a vodka red bull. As soon as I got it I almost chugged it down.
“Fuck it all.” I mumbled to myself, “just fuck it all.” There was honestly nothing worth looking forward to. I had ruined everything.
“Finally!” AJ grabbed my arm, “where were you?!” He’d emerged from the smoking area and had the audacity to ask where I’d been.
“No where,” I slurred, “I’ve been right here.”
“Okay, well I’m pissed,” he confessed.
“Me too—“ I held up my glass to show off the already half emptied drink.
“No—“ he snatched it from me to take a sip “like I’m livid.”
“Oh?!” I clicked that he was mad and grabbed my drink back, “Why?” I didn’t really care, I was more worried about myself, but I still listened.
“Cause Zayn’s getting with his fucking ex, and we came here to get him away from her.” I could see his jaw clench as he said the words.
“Not my problem.” I shrugged, “sounds like a him problem.”
“What’s with you?” He raised an eyebrow.” You don’t know her and how she embarrassed me and my family.”
“I just told Dan to get fucked and that he was boring.” I completely ignored what AJ had to say.
“Oh.” He screwed up his face, “I mean, yeah true, but also a bit too harsh.”
“What?!” He had specifically told me to be harsh. “Get out.” I rolled my eyes.
“Anyway, let’s find Zayn.” He grabbed onto my hand and tried to lead the way.
“No.” I pulled my hand away, “I don’t care about Zayn, I looked nice for him tonight and he went and got with his ex, so no, I’m not helping you help him, I hate him.” I slapped my hands to my mouth as soon as the words came tumbling out.
“Oh my god.” He stood there with his hands on his hips. “You like him?!” His eyes widened in delight, “you like my cousin.”
“Shut the fuck up!” I covered his mouth with my hand. “Stop, stop.” I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes and the lump in my throat started to rise once more. “I don’t like him.” I was never supposed to tell AJ, I couldn’t believe I’d played myself.
“It’s okay.” He held onto my shoulders. I think he had noticed that I was going to cry, “I won’t say anything.” He meant it sincerely.
“Thank you,” I stared down at my boots.
“Now will you help me find him pleaseeeeee?” he was practically begging.
“No,” I was standing my ground. “But I’ll be right here when you find him.”
“Fine!” He rolled his eyes, “but stay put.” He knew I had a habit of wondering off when I was drunk.
“No, I’m going back to the girls, just come find us when you find him.” I took another sip of my drink. I didn’t wanna wait for him all by my lonesome at the bar. At least if I went to find the girls I could have people to complain to.
“Okay,” he nodded, “I’ll see you in a bit.”
I gave him a thumbs up and stumbled off. I was so glad I’d chosen to wear boots instead of heels because my feet were killing me, I couldn’t imagine the pain I’d have been in if I chose the latter.
--
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kaiju-z · 6 years ago
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Seon Adventures Episode 13: Cloak and Swagger
Cloak and Swagger, Whisper and Japes~
Following the confrontation in The Venomous Row, the subsequent death and resurrection of one young adventurer, Danton, and the flaring emotions regarding his dillema, our party took to a rest, under the roof of the Temple of Bellinas, the current home of one specific cleric and hero in returning Danton back to life - Nash.
As the party wakes from the straigneous morning activity, they plan on what to do next, following a check up between each other to make sure everyone’s well. They are, as can be. Burk’s wounds, aside, Amelia’s mental state aside (she holds a strong poker face regarding how she feels on the subject), they agree that things must be done.
Mournimar presents the idea of them sneaking back at the Row and searching for clues... If nothing can be found, the party of seven takes to leaving town.
On the other end of the planning spectrum is Luctan, who gives off the plan for a Whisper Campaign:
While the rest of the party stick to the temple of Bellinas, Luck and Belli go back to the Tavern where the fight happened and clear the party of wrongdoings.
Together, as the most charismatic of the lot, they’ll weave a story of what had actually happened.  With the help of a disguise, Luctan’ll present himself as Danton’s brother, who was supposed to meet up with him here today, after they talked the other night over a wild situation that transpired.
The idea is to make it known to anyone there that Danton is fine and that the party that he got “attacked by” cleared things with him and explained that there was cult activity there.
Should it come to a fight, Luctan will take to running away with Belli, to the guards and give them a similar spiel.
The plan gets modified, with suggestions from the party:
- First, they look and find Ficus and Kit, bring them in on the campaign. Then, they spread around town and start whispering into every open ear, regarding the battle between The Cultbusters and Potencia’s Cultists. They make it known that the cultists were at fault, that an innocent was hurt, but rescued by the Busters and that the leader of this cell was on the run with her son.
- Second, they investigate the tavern and if it comes down to it, then they talk to the guards... However, they should take heed, in case they are under cultist employ.
As further additions are made to the plan, they check with how Nash is doing, who presents herself in a good standing. She’s got things covered. As she kicks ass for The Lady.
Disguises get prepared, with Luctan giving a quick spiel as “Vergis, brother of Danton.”
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One final modification to the scheme is to check with Pete for a potion that could change someone’s appearance. For Mournimar. The goal being to change him into a half-orc, so maybe he could join in on spreading the word. To prepare for that, Belli gives the ranger her “Busty Wench” outfit, from back when they were in Victrum (session 5) and thus, Mournimar becomes the thottiest thot to have ever thotted.
This sparks a reminder and Belli has Luck tell them that they will be sponsored by Pete, to take part in the tournament in Crystalgate.
As they head for Pete’s, they can see a strong plume of smoke come off from the shady part of town, where The Venomous Row was situated and they get the immediate idea that the place was set aflame to hide evidence.
They get to Pete’s and check for a potion. He doesn’t have it. Alternatively, Luctan makes a request for his Evenchord Greatsword to get enchanted, but the price of 3,500 is too great for Luctan and his low recources. He refuses to accept Belli’s offer to pay for the sword’s enchantment, swearing to raise the money on his own. He is, dare I say it, Re-Luctan-t about it.
Before they leave, they give Pete an update on what happened in Sa Doma and he tells the two that he’ll give a word out to other locations about Kah’lia and her son.
They next head to Ficus’ hideout, which they had been to previously, so it takes them less time to get there, maneuvering around and entering, where they indeed find the two rogues.
A conversation is had, wherein Luctan convinces them of partaking in the plan, impressing Ficus with how well he had thought things out, by suggesting he should get into politics (Luctan winks in turn).
Before anything else can be done, Luctan brings to note the problem of Burk’s tiefling enemy, who was surely still in The Scattered Heart tavern. Luctan gets Ficus to go and find the man, bring him out of town and then some.
Before Ficus and Kit leave, disguised (as a Average Joe human and a Fire Genasi lady respectiely) and all that, we get to also learn that apparently Ficus has stolen from Nash before. Much to Belli’s chagrin.
Going on their seperate, yet tied together quests, the rumors get spread around and with high charisma rolls, the most charismatic in the party start a fire of gossip. Some  Hot Goss is spreading like nothing else.
With that done, they move to check the situation with that tavern. The actual fire’s died down by this point. The ceiling’s caved in a few places. Stonework around the base of the building has started melting. There they meed Gorzo, the Half-Orc and Grandle, of the Darksbane army, guards, who are tasked with investigating the remains.
Belli and Luctan each take a person and get in conversations with them, Belli charming the hell out of Gorzo, while Luctan persuades Grandle. By the end, they believe them that Danton wasn’t among the bodies (since he wasn’t) and that he was alive and walking (since he was). “The rumors of my brother’s death were greatly exagerated.”
They leave to make a report and Luctan checks for any remaining things that could have been left in tact. Sadly, however, they don’t find anything of use, as it’s been either taken already or set aflame.
As a last resort, Luctan starts scribbling something into the ground, but with Belli snooping, it doesn’t come off right. She believes he was trying to draw dicks in the ground and he doesn’t dissuade that statement. They head back, trying to be stealthy, as they return to Nash’s place and with Belli’s help, they make it look like Luctan’s Belli’s awkward boyfriend.
WHILE ALL THIS WAS HAPPENING, back with the majority of the party, each of the members have a seperate conversation with Nash and mostly between each other: 
- Burk asks about Qo’rin, the God of Revenge, to mixed results and considers his conversation useless. We get a nugget of wisdom from the Barbarian Goblin in the words: “You are embracing life as it is meant to be lived.”
-- Mournimar and Amelia talk, with Mournimar dropping some sadness on the Air Genasi, regarding recent developements. Trying not to cry, he talks about being distraught that his mother is not only alive, but doing the same things and is leading the child, his brother, the same path.
For all he knows the kid’ll end up being what Mournimar would have been like if he didn’t leave.  He feels remorse that he dragged everyone in their drama.
Amelia, in turn, assures him that he didn’t drag everyone into anything.  Amelia knows abandonment. And she tells him that they’re here, because they want to be. They talk a bit about Amelia’s family and what had transpired there. About the sister that she misses greatly and wants to revisit.
“Family isn’t always the people you were born into. Sometimes it’s the people you find along the way.” Her birth family wasn’t the greatest, but she found family at sea.
Mournimar expresses his fear of the voice he heard in his head, back in the day. How it called for him to do something. He believes it was to black out and attack again.  What if a day comes and he can’t fight it off?! He’s scared. Scared of lashing out and hurting the party.
Amelia gives him encouragement that everything will go well. Time is a valuable thing and they need to live in the moment. Though bad with words, she tries her best here and assures him.
“If anything happens, I promise you this: I won’t hesitate, if I feel anything’s wrong. You’re not gonna hurt anyone, I can guarantee that.”
Mournimar is shook. He considers the party his family. Amelia does as well.
The conversation ends well for the two and further in, Mournimar asks Nash, regarding Lazarus. But she has never met anyone fitting his description. Followers of Bellinas generally don’t go to drink with Potentialists.
She is, frankly a little distraught that shes’beign asked so much at once by the Cultbusters, regarding relationships with Forbidden deities. But half the party does tend to overshare a lot.
Ultimately, Nash does say that If the party’s heading out of town, there’s rumors of a cult of Qo’rin, northwest of the city. On the way to the rest of the world.
Thankful and apologetic, Mournimar asks if there is anything he can do for Nash, in turn for her help. She begs him to please clean after Rimefang.
We cut to the baby white dragon pooping everywhere.
While Mournimar panics and cleans after the eager little bugger, Amelia asks Nash about how priesthood works, whether they get to leave or not. Bellinas worship had declined, after all.  Nash knows a worshiper, who’s been at it.
Amelia feels bad for all this and wants to ask her out for a drink. Please don’t get the wrong idea. She wants to pay her back for all this after this is over with. She’s definitely not interested in Nash. Nash agrees with a grin.
The Air Genasi Monk learns a bit more about Nash. For 20 years, she was a soldier, who fought in the war that took place not too long before the campaign had started. She had seen death many a times, more often on her hands. 
Her kill count in the hundreds and some innocents were in that list, unfortunately. She councils Amelia, regarding what happened with Danton, giving her a few pointers.
Back in the day, here in the temple, there were up to 30 vets that stuck to the building... But times change and people go.
By this point, Belli and Luck walk in and Amelia successfully bluffs them into believing that Mournimar shat everywhere.
Luctan is, frankly, disgusted by this revelation. “MOURNIMAR! HOW COULD YOU?!” To said ranger’s protests, Burk adds to the con as comedy ensues.
They finally update the party on what had happened and at first agree to collectively visit the bathhouse in the morning, to get some rest and relaxation.
Until then, Luck lends Amelia his ring, so she can go to Keemis’ temple and other stuff, if it comes up. He does so, in hiding, so as not to be noticed by Nash.
As he waits for Amelia to come back, he gives the tome on deities to Mournimar, offering him to do some reading on the gods, since he is having a crisis, regarding them. While Luctan, himself goes back to reading “Handerstaad” all over again.
Amelia’s time at Keemis’ temple is short and quiet. She leaves 16 gold as an offering. In turn, she feels a warm feeling in her chest, while kneeling. It’s comforting for a while, before returning back to the Bellinas place of worship and returns the ring to Luctan.
Some shenanigans ensue, where Belli tries to prank Mournimar, to no aveil.
Once properly awake, Mournimar gets some help from Belli to get nice and dressed in a fabulous dress, potion be damned (sadly we couldn’t find a potion per requirements). Much to Belli and Luck’s approval.
One way or another, they devolve into talking about Mournimar’s “shit” behavior in this temple and the poor ranger tries to talk Nash into helping him out. Nash, who had been trying to get some sleep, just grins at him, before shutting the door in his face.
It becomes quickly revealed that she used Prestidigitation to make his pants appear soiled. Thus strengthening the belief in Luctan that he did, indeed, poop all around.
A frustrated Mournimar goes outside and Ficus meets him. “Did she accuse you of shitting yourself?” Mournimar nods and Ficus suggests that he use spiders on Belli at some point as payback.
He walks in and updates the Cultbusters on how things had gone and vice versa. The tiefling had been disposed of, Belli and Luck did a great job spreading the word, now it’s Ficus and Kit’s turn to add to that. Kit not being with Ficus right now as she had work to do.
As Mournimar searches for spiders, Ficus has a disgussion with Belli, a wholesome one, then makes his leave again.
Belli brings the news to the two tieflings:Ficus wants Belli to come home with him. Not permanently, but to see the family. She is freaking out, regarding this scenario, but Mournimar and Luck assure her that everything will be fine. Seeing as it is close to north of Crystalgate, they definitely will visit that at some point.
Also, goes without saying, but Belli does tell Luctan that Ficus fancies him. Luctan just smiles.
As everyone sleeps, Luctan sneaks outside and writes and draws something on a wall.
Then sleep...
In the morning, Belli, Luctan and Mournimar go to the Bathhouse, Amelia and Burk deciding to stay in, until late night for the Fight Club.
Lilliana’s Bathhouse is a very quaint looking establishment. It’s name, written in Cursive, the scent of roses and lavender bombarding the trio’s nostrils as they enter.  Everything is so very aromatic and calming. Lilac purple, with blue flower pattern on the left wall.
Sat behind a counter it is a Firbolg lady. She’s clearly older as her fur is graying in some places, her eyes sunken, she’s quite gaunt. A soft and sweet lady, she brings an air of relaxation to the trio, just by being there.
They make preparations and, after some shenanigans regarding underwear, they take to the bath.
They each share some history with each other.
Belli’s dad was a barbarian, but retired. Sweetest, soft spoken man. Her mom twisted him around her finger.
Mournimar talks of his experiences, post escaping the cult for a bit...
While Luctan shares a bit about his life before the party. Reminding them he’s a tourist to the continent, he states he comes from a warm climate. He tells them a bit about his family, how he never got to meet his father. He just never was in the picture.
And he tells about his departure, how he used a scroll of teleportation to get to the continent, after things got bad...
At some point, the trio say “What’s gender, but a magic meant to be bent to the will of those, who wield it?” as Belli reveals she’s trans.
Time passes. The three get refreshed and head back, feeling like they lost a stone’s worth of weight in dirt.
On the way back, it’s about noon. A very small boy runs past them, a Halfling child. Following behind him is a taller elven girl with piles of paper. Mournimar gets one thrown at him and, upon reading it, he gathers the other two.
“ Gexum destroyed in volcanic eruption! “
“Devils were seen!”
We read the paper, telling the story of Gexum, the main source of food in the west has been completely destroyed by the volcanic eruption. Demonic creatures appearing in the chaos.
As they get supplies and run back to the temple, the session ends,
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
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oddcoupler222 · 6 years ago
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I'm in love with the little ficlet that you wrote about Ned, I wish all dads were like him... but yeah I'm kind of in love with everything you write for Sansa and Margaery, thank you for sharing! :) PS: I'm still extremely curious about Jeyne and Mya and what's their deal
Ned is very much an ideal dad. What he lacks in observance, he makes up for in heart.
OMG how could I have forgotten to share the Jya?!
Saddle up (kinda) for good old enemies to friends to lovers tale.
Of course, they met the year prior to TWW, and instantly disliked one another. Mya is a very private person - like extremely so - and very dry, low-key. Like, she would consider Sansa one of her closer friends, but even then, Sansa doesn’t know a ton about Mya’s personal life (Sansa also never pries, and Mya likes that). She enjoys a drama free existence, being organized, and values having security.
Fairly needless to say, Jeyne, right off the bat, is not her favorite person. She’s extremely nosy, decently loud, loves the hot goss, a bit unorganized, and still isn’t sure at this moment what she wants to do with her life. And honestly, Mya’s brand of exasperated condescension isn’t Jeyne’s cup of tea, either.
But - it’s fine. They’re generally, “ugh. whatever” around each other, as we all know, through TWW.
Things start to change a bit post-TWW because my god! they become roommates!
And tbh it is a bit rough at first. Because all of the things that they don’t quite agree on are right in their faces. I mean, off the bat, Mya sent Jeyne a “roommate agreement”/set of rules (to which Jeyne was like wtf, we will just live together and figure it out?) and in response, she wrote, new email who dis? … and that was about as far as their roommate agreement went (as far as Mya knows).
Jeyne doesn’t do well with not having someone around, you know. Like, she loves living with Sansa; if she had the choice to live alone in her own place or with Sansa (or like a friend in general), she would choose to live with Sansa/a friend. She likes to talk and share clothes and meals and talk and watch movies/shows together. She listens to her music loudly when she cooks/bakes, and when she showers, and when she is getting ready to go out.
Mya… is very much used to living alone. She’s been in and out of foster care since she was a child, and has been on her own since she was 17. She appreciates having quiet and her own space, and she’s worked her ass off to have moved to King’s Landing and to put herself through school – which is why it also sometimes baffles and irritates her that Jeyne’s father works closely with Sansa’s, meaning she comes from a comfortably wealthy family, and that she is just kind of flitting away her life (aka dropped out of college, just decided she was going to move to KL, working in the cafe without really thinking about what she seriously wants to do, etc)
So. It’s rough for the first couple of months while living together. Jeyne is fairly willing to put aside any issues she has with Mya in order to spend time with the person she lives with, as a social creature. As such, she also has some boundary issues (you know, all the times walking into Sansa’s room whenever she wants because that is how it is between them, etc.Not that she does it to that extent with Mya, but still. And she has some trouble seeing how she oversteps).
And Mya has very little patience for Jeyne overstepping her boundaries, and if anything, it makes her feel even more snappy/serious about maintaining her own privacy. (there may have been a Serious Argument, when Jeyne sort of went through some of her boxes to try to help unpack. Jeyne intended for it to be a good deed, but Mya walked in to Jeyne sitting in the middle of some of her stuff, including the few things she has of her mothers, which she is very protective over).
Meanwhile, Jeyne doesn’t want to tell Sansa the WHOLE of the issues she’s having in her absence, because she wants Sansa to not stress about this while she’s loving Volantis. So, this is when she and Margaery sort of start to become friends. She asks Marg, eventually, what she thinks she should do to try to bury the hatchet with Mya, because she can’t take living like this for the months to come.
And Margaery advises her to do something nice for Mya, “For the sake of the seven, don’t be wildly over-the-top. Keep it simple.”
“What, I’m supposed to not be myself?” She’s half-asking for real, half-teasing.
And Margaery smirks, “Exactly.”
So, she decides she will be simple. She will surprise Mya with dinner – cooking, another thing she misses about Sansa. Yes, she can cook. But Sansa enjoyed it, and now that she’s not around, she has to cook for herself, blah. But it’s kind of nice, because she is focusing on making food she has realized Mya likes after having shared a kitchen with her for a little while.
And she will not be loud while doing so (no singing, playing her music softly) and that she will clean as she goes, since Mya has had fits about her leaving pots and pans and silverware and food out (which, for the record, she truly was going to clean. She was just going to do so after she ate and relaxed; what is the rush). Bonus! She picked up a book-to-movie adaptation of some novel Sansa loves (and she has seen Mya reading it, too), that she is going to suggest to watch; a nice peace offering, she thought.
When she gets to the apartment - she had told Mya that she was going to be out late in order to make the dinner a surprise - she is the one who is in for a surprise when she sees a woman, wearing only Mya’s short robe, walking out of the bathroom. The woman screams. Jeyne screams and drops the bags of food she was holding.
Mya comes running out and is pissed at Jeyne because “I thought you weren’t going to be home tonight! You told me you weren’t.” And Jeyne is so, “There’s a girl in a robe??? Who is that?!”
The woman leaves in a hurry. Mya and Jeyne end up having a tense argument about Jeyne clearly lying about being out about about and for being so fucking nosy and Jeyne for being like, this is my apartment. It evolves into something bigger, about how Mya needs to loosen the stick up her ass - especially since it seems to only be there when around Jeyne - and about how Mya thinks Jeyne is far too flippant and frivolous and intrusive about everything and can’t she just take anything seriously for once, even if it’s just keeping a schedule (which hits somewhat hard, because. well, Jeyne knows she doesn’t have her life “together” and all, and it is a Big Conversation she has with her father relatively often)
It leads into a Jeyne not making dinner, tossing the ingredients into the cabinets and throwing the movie on the table, before staying in her room.
And Mya kind of cooling down in her own room for a bit before going into the kitchen and seeing everything, and sort of putting together that Jeyne meant to be doing something nice for her. Plus she thinks about the many times Sansa had told her about the good aspects of Jeyne, and she starts to feel like. Somewhat guilty. Which is a first for her when it comes to Jeyne.
Going to her room, she knocks on the door, and Jeyne has her come in. They do talk some stuff out, Jeyne apologizing for not always recognizing when she is crossing a line and Mya apologizing for being… prickly, sometimes. It makes Jeyne snort a laugh, and there’s a few moments of peace, until Mya mentions that having/keeping schedules was in her roommate agreement -
And Jeyne cuts her off, quoting back to her why the scheduling part was number 2 on the list.
Mya stares at her for a few seconds, “You… actually read it?”
“I mean, I thought it was kind of ridiculous that you were trying to map out living together before we even spoke about it face to face, but of course I read it,” Jeyne rolls her eyes.
“How was I supposed to know! You send back a ridiculous response!”
Jeyne just kind of laughs at that, and the look on Mya’s face. And for the first time, Jeyne laughing at something like this doesn’t piss her off, and she can’t help laughing a bit, too.
A little later, after they made dinner together, Jeyne - truly unable to help herself - asks, “So… who was that girl?”
And Mya sighs, and tries very much to not get prickly about Jeyne asking an understandable question, “She was a woman. That I used to date. Who is back in town for the weekend.”
Jeyne stares at her in shock, “You’re -”
“Bi. Yeah,” she knows Jeyne is staring at her and she fastidiously avoids staring back.
“But! You…” she is shouting but she can’t help it! “Sansa - does -”
“No,” she cuts her off, sighing, as she wipes her hands on her apron, “She doesn’t know.” And she leans against the counter, pouring herself another glass of the wine they’re drinking because this is personal and she doesn’t like to share personal but she knows she really isn’t getting out of it, and she doesn’t want to make anything between them worse.
She explains that sharing very personal things is… uncomfortable for her, and that Sansa had come out to her for the very reason that she knew Mya wouldn’t make any sort of deal out of it. Mya hadn’t wanted to make it about herself, either, and honestly had been a little worried that Sansa might try to lean on her a bit… and that made her nervous because she has a good amount of insecurities about her ability to really be there for someone, after having not had any serious/lasting connections in her entire adult life. (well, she doesn’t go too deeply into that personal shit, but the gist is explained)
“But when I tried to get you to go to speed dating you said it would be giving women false hope!” Jeyne insisted, her mind still spinning.
And Mya can’t even help but laugh, with the serious bafflement and outrage on Jeyne’s face, “Yeah, it was false hope because I don’t want to date anyone from lesbian speed dating.” she lifts up one finger, then adds a second as she says, “Plus, Sansa did not want either one of us there.” And a third, with a smirk, “And I had to stop you from going.”
Overall, that is a big turning point for them. Jeyne starts respecting space more (trying, anyway, she will never be great at it), and they form different schedules and roommate traditions than Jeyne had with Sansa, but it’s a nice different. She enjoys Mya’s cynicism and snarky comments - when they aren’t directed at her - and finds that she is truly, really hilarious tbh.
On the other hand, Mya learns how to share her space and open up a little bit with Jeyne - who often times doesn’t give her a choice, and weirdly, Jeyne is very good at getting her to say things that she ordinarily wouldn’t ever say to other people. She kind of, reluctantly, ends up enjoying the injection of Jeyne-drama-loudness-exuberance into her life.
They’re strangely, actually friends? It’s, weird? Friends but not like friends the way they are with Sansa (or most of their other friends). It’s a comfortable closeness that they’ve formed, and when Sansa is coming home from Volantis at the end of the seven months, they both are excited to have her back but are honestly a little sad about their roommate-ness ending.
Sansa returns (Jeyne literally tackles her to the ground in excitement at seeing her) and Mya moves into her own place. Her own place feels a little quieter, now, and it’s… weird. And Jeyne loves having Sansa back but she misses some of the stuff she did with Mya as a roommate, especially now that Sansa is with Marg and spends a good amount of time with her.
A couple of weeks after Sansa returns home, a few weeks before Christmas, Jeyne and Mya hang out. Jeyne asks Mya what she’s doing for the holidays - she knows more about Mya’s childhood than Sansa/anyone does, really, at this point, and knows she doesn’t have family to go home to.
Mya shrugs, “I have a week off from work. I’ll probably just enjoy some peace and quiet,” she jibes with a smirk.
And Jeyne just rolls her eyes, “If you have time off, you should come home with me.”
Mya is… well that isn’t something she does with anyone. Not ex-girlfriends. Not Sansa, who has invited her to her family’s place and to their NYE party. So she says no.
But Jeyne has a way of wheedling (and brow beating) and ends up getting Mya to agree to come with her.
So, she goes North with Jeyne and Sansa - who is amazed that she came - and stays with Jeyne, and feels a little off kilter at first. But then eventually, with Jeyne’s intensity and excitement and just everything feels so normal… it kind of starts to feel nice? To be there with a family rather than on her own, like she has been ever since her mom died when she was ten.
On that Christmas morning, when Jeyne is talking quickly and going over plans for the holiday and including Mya in future holidays in an off-hand comment, sitting there with wrapping paper all around her on the floor and messy hair from sleeping… it’s where Mya’s heart skips a beat and - oh. Well. Fuck.
(because Jeyne is kind of now her best friend, totally unexpected, and also very straight)
In true Mya fashion, conceal don’t feel, and never says anything, trying to live her life as normal. Even if - UGH - she lets Jeyne in so much easier than she wants to, because it’s not something she wants. But it’s fine. Jeyne doesn’t know and she’s just acting as Jeyne, and that’s - it’s scary but also not.
This continues on for another year and a half, when Sansa finally moves in with Margaery officially, and Jeyne exaggeratedly bats her eyelashes at Mya, “Gee… I wonder… who could possibly want to put up with me and move in?”
So, they end up moving in together again. Which makes Jeyne ecstatic because she’s become super close to Mya in the last couple of years, and itt’ll be nice to live with someone who isn’t staying at her girlfriend’s place for like half the week (though she IS Sansa and Margaery’s number 1 fan, make no mistake).
While they live together this time, though, they have some Moments. Jeyne has forgone the whole boundaries thing, now that they’ve come so far. There are times of cuddling. A lovely time where Jeyne (who is in the shower) calls for Mya, who thinks something is going on… and then goes in and see’s Jeyne who is like… silhouetted in the shower curtain and is also almost halfway leaning out of the shower (because she has 0 shame or inclincation to hide her body) and Mya short-circuits before spinning around and, “You’re - naked!” “Well you knew I was coming to take a shower.” “I didn’t think you… why did you call me in here?” “Oh. I wanted to ask if you would order dinner so it would be here when I’m done.”
(needless to say, living with Jeyne does not help her feelings. but she’s resigned)
Unnnntil!
The night of Sansa’s planned proposal to Margaery, where she has Jeyne and Mya both in on the plan and helping her out. When things go awry, Jeyne returns back to their place, arms full of the flowers and the champagne that she’d gotten back from Sansa and Margaery’s place.
She and Mya, instead, drink the wine together, discussing Sansa/Margaery’s proposal-that-wasn’t and the election and how Jeyne worked with Marg on her campaign and is thinking about going back to school to something she might enjoy (but she’s a little nervous).
And Mya shakes her head, tipsy, but she thinks she probably has a lot of stars in her eyes when she looks at Jeyne even sober, but she is very serious, “Jeyne, no. You would be amazing, doing anything you’re passionate about. You… you are so…” she trails off, gesturing at Jeyne, before she uses that hand to twirl some of Jeyne’s long, glossy dark hair around her fingers.
Jeyne scoffs, “So flippant? So much?” It’s a rare time for her to feel genuinely, openly insecure.
And Mya instead slides her hand down and turns to look at Jeyne completely, “No. Well, yes, you are a lot. But not… bad. You are so smart. And so unafraid to say what you want and what you feel. And so good at getting other people to do the same. You are amazing, Jeyne Poole, and don’t you dare be afraid to do anything you want.”
Jeyne turns to look at Mya, too, and realizes in that moment how absolutely close they are. Like she can see how the dim lighting of the room reflects in Mya’s vibrant blue eyes and makes them almost mystical, and she can feel her breath wash over her cheek and her hand feel so strong and warm, stroking her thumb over the back of her hand. And her words… she can feel how much Mya means them, and it makes this heavy, warm, tingling feeling shift inside of her that…
is so strange. Like almost like the feeling she’s had in the past when having interest in a guy, but like more and it’s unfamiliar and a lot and good and… she doesn’t pull back but doesn’t move forward, and squeezes her hand around Mya’s as she manages a whispered, “Thanks.”
And the next morning she wakes up with Mya curled around her (she does get amusement from the fact that everyone would assume she is the primary cuddler between them but it is in fact Mya who gets all cuddly during sleep). And it’s not like they haven’t cuddled together many times in the last couple of years (it took her TIME to knock down that wall, and she is very proud and honored to have done so).
But it’s the first time she’s ever felt like this. Like something sliding through her that feels a lot like want and maybe like more-than-like, and she doesn’t know what is happening or where it’s coming from, exactly? But like. It’s here. And Jeyne isn’t one to avoid how she feels…
So she goes to her number one trusted source, going to see Sansa the weekend after Sansa and Margaery actually got engaged. Does the genuine and appropriate squealing. Before she thinks about Mya, again, and sighs, and Sansa is like, “What was that sigh about?”
So she confesses, of course, “I think I like Mya and maybe love, in not a friend way!” she bursts out.
And Sansa is shocked, staring with her mouth open, before, “WHAT?!” comes out on a shout.
“I DON’T KNOW! WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS?!” Jeyne screams back, and they stare at each other for some long beats, before Sansa shakes her head before they calm down and have an actual talk.
Sansa is still shocked, but is always Jeyne’s best voice of reason and sounding board, and Jeyne ultimately leaves feeling convinced that she does actually like-maybe-love Mya? And she has been spending like every waking moment thinking about this, and going over all of their interactions and like. Gods. What if they’ve been basically dating for years and she hadn’t even realized it?! That’s kind of what it feels like.
And because she’s Jeyne, she goes home in a whirlwind. Sees Mya in the kitchen and marches up to her, determined.
Then kisses her because she is Jeyne and she isn’t going to not go after what she wants, even if it’s uncharted territory.
And holy fuck, was it worth it, when Mya - shocked still for a long moment - slides her hands into Jeyne’s hair and responds.
(Margaery, for the record, totally told Sansa months before that there was something between Mya and Jeyne and Sansa was like, “No way!”… she is very vindicated now)
aaaand for the record (i posted/mentioned before, but it’s been like over 2 years, so), Jeyne:
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Mya:
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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years ago
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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh
oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.
-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still
-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)
-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?
-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)
-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)
-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump
-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)
-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence
-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙
-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??
-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen
-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked
-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo
-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back
-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️
-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬
-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)
-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂
-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)
-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs
-the collector 🎵👌🏻
-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts
and lastly:
-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON
-random thoughts-
these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in
•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain
•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin
•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔
•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)
•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)
•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)
•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?
•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings
•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?
•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah
•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)
-dad talk-
•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way
•nancy + carson : suffering
"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting
•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :
•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him
•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative
•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc
*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)
•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma
•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?
•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable
okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘
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thescrewedrooger · 8 years ago
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Chapter 14
4 weeks had gone by it was July 31st. My birthday. I am now 36. The past 4 weeks Emma had not said another word about my birthday, which made me suspicious. I guess I will find out soon enough what she has planned. It's 10am, I haven't had any calls or messages wishing me a happy birthday. That's weird. Emma has something to do with this. 1 hour later, still haven't heard anything. Someone knocks at the door, I go and open it. I'm surprised to see Seth! "Hey, what's been happening?"
He said "First of all Happy Birthday! Second of all, I thought I might grace you with my presence this morning".
"Thankyou, and what exactly did you have in mind when you say grace me with your presence?". He steps in closer to me, grabbed me around the waist pulled me in and started kissing me, I was into it straight away, we both deepened the kiss. I broke the kiss, and grabbed Seth by the wrist, pulled him inside, shut the door. I lead him to the couch. I gently pushed him on the couch, and I straddle him. We go back to kissing, but this time it was intense. We break the kiss again, we both stand up to strip each other down to nothing in record time. I push him back on the lounge this time, but with a little more force than last time. I straddle him again. Straight away his hands go to massaging my breasts. I then slide myself down onto his shaft slowly. He rests his head back momentarily savouring the feeling, I whisper "Oh my God, so deep" before I start riding him. The moment of penetration was sensational for both of us. I rock my hips back and forth, making sure I keep it deep. We go back to intense kissing as I start to go faster and somehow managing to push him in deeper. Without warning an orgasm rips through my body, I yell out "Holy shit, Seth" I ride him even harder, then he starts pushing his hips in sync with the rocking of my hips, he then grabs my hips, setting the pace even faster, his hips still moving in sync, he then says in between heavy breaths "Fuck, I'm coming hard" after he comes, he lets out a low moan. We kiss again, but this time, they were much more relaxed. Seth stayed at my place all day, which he passed time with another few rounds of amazing sex. I still hadn't heard anything from anyone to wish me a happy birthday. Considering it's now 4pm, I'm positive Emma has something to do with it, I am starting to think Seth may have a small part in it as well. It was now 6pm, Seth and I were laying on my bed, he rolls onto his side facing me, he gives me a lingering kiss, then says "You better get ready"
"What for?" I ask
"It's a surprise"
"Ok.... What sort of clothes do I dress in?"
"I would be fine if you stay naked, but you better put on a nice pair of jeans and a dressy casual shirt".
"I'm going to have a shower now, you are more than welcome to join me for one final round" I say with a hint of seduction in my voice.
"I'm there".
Our shower took way longer than expected. We got out, Seth put a towel around his waist, walked into my room, then he looked at his phone "Shit, we're late!"
"Late for what?"
"It's a surprise"
"What will it take for you to tell me?" "It's 7:30, we should have been there at 7! Please get dressed as quick as you can" meanwhile his phone is going crazy with calls and messages. First I choose out a bra and panties set, I chose out leopard print bra, with matching sheer thong, they might come in handy later! I put on a pair of dark denim skinny jeans, the top I have on is a purple fitted short sleeved shirt, it had a "V" neckline that showed off my cleavage, even though I hate make up, it was a special occasion, I done my eyes with a smoky look. My hair was pulled back tightly into a bun, the bun itself I loosened hair and gave it the messy look. The shoes I pick out, are silver strappy sandles with diamontes. I don't do heels. Seth was dressed and waiting for me in the lounge room, he was in the clothes he came here in, jeans and a black button up shirt, and black converse shoes. I got ready in half an hour, record time! I go out to Seth, he says "You look incredibly hot, if only we had time......."
I blushed "Thankyou and we could make time"
He said with a smile "I know what you are trying to do, but we have to go!"
"Where to?" Then I mock his reply "It's a surprise" Seth says while pulling a tie out of his jeans pocket "I need to put a blind fold on you" then went around behind me to put the blind fold on, I felt him tie it firmly. I then feel him kiss me deep, it was short and sweet. "I know what you are trying to do" I tell him
"Payback is a bitch"
He guides me outside, he locks up my house, then he guides me into his car. Once I'm in, I hear him get in the driver's side, I then feel another deep kiss, this one lasting longer, I start to kiss back, then the kiss stops.
I tell him "I wish you would quit that" I hear him chuckle then start the car . He gets a phone call come through the Bluetooth in his car, he answers by saying "We are about 5 minutes away" then I hear the other voice, it's Emma! She scolds Seth "Dammit Seth, you had one job, you were supposed to be here over an hour ago, why are you so late?"
Before Seth could answer I cut in "Yeah Seth, why are we so late?"
Seth hung up. He stopped the car, I heard him get out, he comes around my side, takes my seat belt off. Before he gets me out, he kisses me again and trails down my neck to my collarbone.
"Stop being an arsehole, you are enjoying this too much!"
He replies "I am enjoying it and to be honest, I'm looking forward to the payback with this one!" He grabs my hand, helps me get out of the car. He keeps hold of my hand and leads me up a few steps, through a door.
"When can I take the blind fold off" I ask. Before he gives an answer, he leads me for a few more steps, then says "Now you can take the blind fold off". I take the blind fold off and put it in my pocket.
I hear a large group of people yell "Surprise!" I was gobsmacked, Seth and Emma got all my friends from Australia here! I looked up at Seth and said "Thankyou" Seth was hosting the party in his backyard, he went all out, he had stage/dance floor set up. There was a DJ playing the music I liked, which was mainly 80's, 90's and early 00's, Even though Seth doesn't like the same music.
He said "You are most welcome" he also added "Hope you don't mind me inviting some of my friends"
"No I don't mind, I guess I will meet them later"
The next thing I do, I go and find Emma. I found her talking with a few mutual friends of ours. I thanked Emma and she said proudly "It was a pleasure!" then asks "How come you and Seth were so late?" the small group listened intently hoping to hear some goss.
I just put the whole blame on Seth "He fell asleep on my couch".
Then one of the girls, Lauren, asked "Are you and Seth together?"
I nonchalantly said, "No"
I wasn't lying at least, we weren't a couple. We were friends with benefits. I haven't even told Emma that let alone anyone else, I had no plans on telling anyone. As far as Rachael is aware, it was a once of thing.
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inexcon · 7 years ago
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RSI Comm-Link: The Cup: Part One
Writer’s Note: Part one of The Cup was published originally in Jump Point 1.8.
Hello everyone, and welcome once again to GSN Spectrum Broadcasting’s continuing coverage of the Murray Cup Race. The MCR, or The Cup as it is more commonly known, is one of the finest sporting events in the UEE. Nearly 100 racers compete in the Classic Division’s grueling 10-stage run, which winds its way through Ellis system’s many wondrous planets and dual asteroid belts. Racers compete to determine who’s the fastest and strongest, as they struggle to maintain the integrity of their racecraft amid some of the deadliest conditions in the Empire. This year’s competition promises to be one of the toughest, as the top 25 share in a meet-and-greet with media and sponsors in GSN’s sports atrium in orbit above Green. Though many come to race, only a few are considered real contenders, and those contenders are now awaiting their chance for glory and honor.
This year’s darling is Ykonde Remisk, a Human who surprised everyone by winning both the Goss Invitational and the Cassini 500. He comes into the MCR with a real chance to be the first racer to win the Triple Crown in twelve years. Then there is Nyanāl Mo’tak Xu.oa, the finest Xi’an racer in the history of the sport. If he prevails, he will be the first to ever win three MCRs in a row.
Zogat Guul, the old Tevarin warhorse, can’t be counted out, either. This legend has won the MCR more than anyone else in its history, but fate and bad luck have prevented him from winning a major event in over five years. His second place finish at the Cassini 500, however, has brought his name back to prominence. Can he win it once more before he fades away?
And finally, newcomer Hypatia Darring has turned heads by taking the pole position away from Remisk. She has never won a major racing event in her short career, but her consistent top ten showings for the last two years indicate that her pole position is no fluke. Can this youngster handle the enormous pressure placed upon her? Only time will tell . . .
Let’s throw it back to GSN reporter Mike Crenshaw, who is making his way through the reception as we speak. Who do you have for us now, Mike?
Hypatia Darring didn’t even notice the reporter’s question as she stared across the busy reception floor. The Tevarin looked lean and elegant amid a gaggle of reporters who crowded around him. Part of her felt like joining the crowd. I should feel the need to whip his ass, to blow past him on the final stage, to force his ship into an asteroid. That would be the feelings of a great racer, a great competitor, one focused and ready to win. But no. Try as she might, she could not feel that way toward this legend who stood only a few meters away. Much to her sorrow, she hadn’t had a chance to speak with him when their paths could have crossed at Cassini. Now, she had to find the time. She fought the urge to walk across the room, push past the media hounds, invite him to dinner, and ask him to sign the worn, faded, dog-eared poster of him in his youth — standing proudly next to his silver M50 — still hanging on her hab wall.
She shook her head and blinked. “I’m sorry. Say again?”
Mike Crenshaw cleared his throat. “Do you think Admiral Darring is proud of his daughter?” Darring clenched her teeth and forced a smile. “Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he be?”
“He has stated publicly, more than once, that he believes you are wasting your talents as a racer. That you should drop all this ‘nonsense’ — his word — and pursue a more fitting career in the UEE Navy.”
“My father has never been one to restrain his opinions,” she said, taking tentative steps toward Guul. “But if you really want to know the answer to that question, you should ask him yourself.”
Another reporter fought her way in. “Alice Frannif, Terra Gazette . . . taking the pole position from Ykonde Remisk was a marvelous achievement. How did you do it?”
Her smile was genuine. “Luck.”
“Oh, come now, Hypatia,” Crenshaw said, regaining the floor. “Achieving a time one point five seconds off the record is hardly luck. How’d you do it?”
She chuckled. “Patience, dedication, focus and an acute attention to detail. That, plus the fastest damned M50 on the circuit. All things I’m sure my father would appreciate.”
The reporters laughed and hastily transcribed notes. Darring made a few more steps toward Guul.
“Ms. Darring,” another reporter interceded, “how do you intend on maintaining your ‘luck,’ as you put it, through the entire race? Ten stages, all timed, many with narrow, dangerous channels, especially through the asteroid belts. You’ll be racing neck-and-neck with some of the finest racers in history. Being a relative newcomer, how do you intend on handling the pressure, maintaining your good start, and ultimately winning the cup?”
“She’s a natural!”
All turned, including Darring, and found Mo’tak Xu.oa, the Xi’an, dressed in a bright purple jumpsuit, standing among a pool of sycophants who followed him to every event. Some of them were ex-GSN reporters, now under full employment by the Xu.oa house, captured by his fame, notoriety and wealth.
Darring controlled her scowl as the stout Xi’an stopped a few feet from her. “She’s a natural,” Mo‘tak repeated, to make sure the reporters could record his reply. He was shorter than Darring by a centimeter or two — which was still unusually tall for his race — but his cool, amber eyes scanned her face carefully His powerful jaw muscles pulled back in a tight approximation of a smile. “She’ll win it by being the best racer on the circuit.”
“Do you really believe that?” Crenshaw asked. “She’s the best?”
Mo‘tak nodded slowly, diplomatically, his eyes affixed on Darring. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” He blinked. “How are you, my dear? Rested from your trials at Cassini?”
“Rested enough,” she replied, beneath her breath. The reporters leaned in to hear. “But you should know all about that.”
Mo‘tak waved her off as if she were his lesser. “The dangers of the trade, my dear. I did what I had to do to gain advantage.”
Darring nodded. “But you didn’t win, did you? Cutting me off in a move that, technically, was illegal, only gave you third place.”
“Still, a better finish than you.” Mo‘tak chuckled. His devotees did the same. “The Cassini is not all that important to me, my dear. The MCR is the crown jewel. You’ll understand that in time . . . if you last long enough.”
“Can we get a picture of the two of you side-by-side?” a reporter piped up. The rest confirmed that desire with exaggerated nodding.
Mo‘tak turned to the crowd, preening for all to see. “Of course you may have a picture,” he said, offering his hand to Darring in goodwill. “I’m honored to be a part of this great tradition. The MCR is dear to my heart, and with such brilliant competition, like Hypatia Darring here, this year’s race will be one to remember.”
Hypatia took his hand cautiously. She wrapped her fingers around his broad palm. Forcing herself to relax, she turned toward the reporters to let them take their pictures and ask their questions.
But then Mo‘tak began to squeeze, and squeeze, and squeeze until she felt the small delicate bones in her hand giving beneath the pressure. She squeezed back against it, but that didn’t provide much relief as Mo‘tak continued to grip. Don’t cringe, she said to herself. Don’t cry. Don’t give him the satisfaction. But the pain spread up her arm, into her shoulder, through her neck. God, he’s trying to break my hand. He’s . . .
He released, and the pain subsided. She sighed and wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead with her other hand.
Crenshaw was about to ask another question, but then someone spotted Ykonde Remisk, and they all scurried in his direction.
At her side, Mo‘tak chuckled. “We are only as important to them as our last quote.” The Xi’an turned to her again.
This time he didn’t offer his hand. He winked. “.athl’ē’kol to you, my zealous competitor. Safe travel. I’ll see you down the line.”
Mo‘tak disappeared into the doting arms of his fans. As he walked away, Darring caught the eye of a lean, surly-looking fellow who maintained a watchful position behind his employer. He nodded at her. She ignored him and imagined driving a knife into Mo‘tak’s back.
“Don’t let him get to you.”
The voice was soft and amiable. Darring turned to greet it.
There he stood, towering over her. In his shadow, she felt truly small, both in stature and in status. Zogat Guul radiated a kindness and a quiet experience that steadied her rage. She offered her sore hand humbly. He took it without complaint.
“Don’t let that pompous twit get under your skin. He’s infamous for his mind games.” With a quick grin, he snapped into formal posture, as if he were greeting an officer, thrusting his chest out though it was wrapped comfortably in a black-and-gold half-coat. “My name is Zogat —”
“I know who you are,” Darring interrupted, embarrassed immediately by her rudeness. “It’s an honor to meet you. It’s a dream I’ve had since I was a kid.”
“And I have been following your career with great interest.” He took her by the arm and began to lead her toward a table filled with three large punch bowls and an assortment of seafood appetizers. They walked slowly. “You are rising steadily on the circuit. Your name is on the lips of many. Your fifth place showing at Cassini was quite impressive, especially for someone so young.”
“Thank you. It would have been even more impressive had I won, if Mo‘tak hadn’t forced me back.”
“You let him get too close,” he said, with no malice or indictment in his tone. “You had the inside lane, but you slowed down to spar with him.”
“He pissed me off!”
Guul stopped, “Such behavior may be tolerated in the smaller, roundabout races like Cassini. But not here. Here, such raw emotion will get you expelled or killed. True, there are stages along the way where the racing will be tight, where you will have to maneuver for position. But speed matters the most here . . . speed and time. Remember, Hypatia Darring, the one most important fact about the Murray Cup: Speed is life.” He tilted his head to side. “Speed is life . . . or death, if you are going in the wrong direction.”
She laughed at that, letting the seriousness of his words trickle away. “We will speak no more of these things now,” he said, resuming their course toward the food table. “We will have further opportunities to talk later, when the lamprey are not so thick and hungry.” He ignored the wave of a reporter nearby. “Every word we speak here is interpreted and reinterpreted until, in the end, they will make us lovers in the eyes of the public.”
Darring forced a wry smile. “Sorry . . . you’re not my type.”
Guul let out a hearty laugh. He shook his head. “Story of my life.” He quickened his pace toward the food. “Now come, and treat me to a glass of the greatest gift Humans have bestowed upon the galaxy.”
“What’s that?” Darring asked.
Guul smacked his lips. “Lemonade.”
* * *
Mo‘tak crushed the thin shell of the jumbo shrimp in his mouth. He did not bother shucking it as a feeble Human might do. Blast this Human food anyway! What he wouldn’t give to be back at the family complex, gorging to contentment on huge handfuls of fermented needlefish. Their gallbladders had a bile that was as sweet — no, sweeter — than anything a Human might concoct. Nothing on the table before him was actually enjoyable in his superior opinion, but he tolerated it as best he could, smiling humbly as he picked at this dish or that for the benefit of the media. Mo‘tak nodded at a Human reporter as she walked by.
Humans had their uses.
And so did the one that stood now in the center of the media frenzy. Why weren’t the reporters surrounding him, asking him questions, begging him to divulge his secrets for winning the race, just as they had asked Darring? These damned Humans and their inferiority complex! So unwilling to recognize Xi’an superiority. But Mo‘tak was the best racer that had ever climbed into a cockpit, and his perfectly modified 350r, with its purple hull and reinforced golden-striped wings would do what no other racer had ever done: win the MCR three consecutive times. Neither Remisk, nor Guul, nor Darring could claim such a feat. So, why weren’t the GSN nya•osen’p.u surrounding him?
But perhaps that was best, he reconsidered, popping another shrimp in his mouth and sipping on a warm, frothless beer. Let Ykonde Remisk have his moment in the spotlight. Let the media have their favorites. For when they fall, when they fail to live up to the hype, Mo‘tak’s victory will seem that much sweeter. Yes, let them bask . . . then let them fall. And I will see that they fall hard.
“Is everything in place?” he whispered to an underling at his side.
“Yes, sir. Your maintenance crews are dispersed through the Ellis system per your specifications and per the MCR guidelines.”
Mo‘tak scratched his neck in frustration. “That’s not what I meant.”
The underling gulped and wiggled his head. “Yes, that matter we spoke of has been taken care of as well. But I would recommend against it, sir. The risk is too great, and besides, Mo‘tak does not need to rely on such things. He is the best racer on the circuit.”
“I do not pay you to give me such advice or praise. I pay you to do what you’re told. Now go, and make sure everything is ready as I have instructed.” He put his beer down. “And I will go and remind the ‘favorite’ of his obligation to me.”
The underling nodded and ran off to do his duty. Mo‘tak sighed deeply, put on his happy face, and walked confidently toward the madness surrounding Ykonde Remisk.
* * *
She loved her Origin M50 Turbo more than life. Banged up, scratched, red and white paint slopped on to cover a hull that needed an integrity sweep, but there had been no time for any of that after Cassini. Nor had she won enough credits yet for such repairs, not with having to pay for transport ships and her pit crew. But what of it? The power plant was sound, the thrusters new and top notch. In a pinch, she doubted that any racer, anywhere, could match it. Certainly, none of the other twenty-four challengers behind her — including Guul — could beat her in a straightaway. But the MCR had few straightaways. Hull integrity mattered.
As her crew chief rattled off the final systems check in her ear, Darring pulled up the map for the first stage. It appeared with a bright blink to display row after row of rings winding their way through low orbit above Ellis III. Darring studied the rings carefully, reminding herself which ones were large, which were small, where the cameras and timer buoys were located. All racers were required to stay within the “invisible” lane running through the rings; if a racer strayed outside, he or she would lose time. This first stage was both timed and awarded extra credits to first, second and third place. Having the pole position, then, gave her an advantage. But for how long? Darring leaned over in her seat and studied the course carefully.
It was not unlike one stretch of the Goss Invitational, so she had ample experience with this kind of run. Her M50 was built for strenuous zigs and zags through tight spots. But how well would she fare later on, when the courses got more deadly, more strenuous?
From Ellis III, the racers quantumed to Ellis IV where the so-called Seahorse Shuffle took place. Then on to Ellis V and the “Noble Endeavour.” After that, it was through the first of two asteroid belts, a course called The Sorrow Sea, where hulls of previous racers floated as obstacles. Then around the gas giant, Walleye, where ships could be easily ripped apart by one foolish move. A longer stage followed, across the outer asteroid belt (formerly Ellis XI) and finally to Ellis XII. Then the race turned back toward the heart of the system to finished at Ellis VIII. She had run this race before, but never as a true contender, and thus she had taken her time, flown each stage slow and steady, like a marathon runner, to learn all the ins and outs. This time, though, the pressure was on. She held the pole position, the top spot. Everything was different now.
The MCR starter’s voice crackled over the comm link. “Racers, prepare for launch.”
Darring closed the map, affirmed the standard agreement to MCR rules and regulations in unison with the other racers, strapped herself in, and gave a small prayer. She was not religious by any stretch, but figured it wouldn’t hurt. The prayer calmed her nerves as the bay doors of the starting carrier opened to space.
She could see Ellis III through the door. It was beautiful, green, its orbit peppered with corvettes and pleasure craft of the well-to-do who had come out to view the race firsthand. There would be plenty of spectators along the way, a lot of media, and Darring had to just put them all out of her mind. She focused on Zogat Guul’s words — Speed is life — and looked back through one of her cockpit panels to try to get a glimpse of the Tevarin’s upgraded Hornet. But he was too far back. All she could see was Ykonde Remisk’s M50, with its garish gold and blue trim. She noticed that he was too close to her; by rule, there was a specified distance that racers had to maintain prior to launch: the privilege of the pole position.
She gnashed her teeth and cursed beneath her breath. Someone was already violating rules.
“Hypatia Darring . . . you may launch.”
She didn’t even wait for the spokesman to finish. Darring burst out the carrier bay door at top legal speed.
Through a narrow channel flanked by media and spectators, Darring flew the ceremonial lap. The rest of the racers followed behind, releasing one after another, but maintaining their specified positions within the line. Ahead of her, the pace craft sparkled with a flashing red light. Nervous energy spotted her brow with sweat. Her crew chief gave his final comments and instructions. She signed him off and focused on the course ahead of her.
In her ear, the MCR starter counted down — ten, nine, eight . . . Darring thrust to the left, trying to keep directly behind the pace craft. Ykonde Remisk was right on her six, the nose of his racer dangerously close. Back off! Darring mouthed silently, wanting to flip on her comm link and tune to his frequency. It wasn’t strictly against MCR rules to speak to other racers, but officials discouraged it, fearing that frequent conversation during the race could produce distractions that would lead to crashes and injuries. Besides, there was enough chatter going on between racers and their crews. Still, Darring wanted to open a channel and scream into Remisk’s ear, Get off my back!
Five . . . four . . . three . . .
Now, all the racers tightened as the pacer made the last turn to set them up toward the first rings. Darring gunned it a little herself, closing in on the pacer. She put herself now just a little to the right of it, to keep Remisk from rushing past her at the last minute. Darring’s heart raced, her hands shook on her joystick. She tried concentrating on the small object that grew and grew in her viewport: The first ring, its rotating lights swirling around its virtual frame, signaling the beginning . . .
Two . . . one . . .
The red lights on the pacer flashed green, and it fell to the left quickly, breaking formation.
Darring pressed herself into her seat, gunned her thrusters, and blew through the first ring.
* * *
The flashing lights of the rings caused her eyes to ache.
They flew by her quickly and she was concentrating on them too much, too worried about her time, her position in the line. She had fallen to third place by count of the last timing ring. It had been her fault, too, worrying so much about conserving fuel, letting some pilot with a overclocked Avenger take the inside lane. Her crew chief yelled at her for it; she ignored him. The little shit was right, of course, but he was an old academy friend of her father’s, and she was in no mood to listen to him yell at her. Besides, she could overtake an Avenger at any time.
The real focus of her recovery had to be Ykonde Remisk.
The smarmy son of a bitch had forced her against the left wall of the tunnel they were speeding through. Her wing had actually broken the virtual plane, and the voice of the MCR caller came over her comm . . . “Ten seconds added to your time.” Damn! Remisk’s press was not strictly against the rules since his ship had not touched hers, but it was certainly dirty pool and against the spirit of the competition. She had no way out of the pick-and-roll either; it was as if he and the Avenger pilot were in cahoots. That wouldn’t surprise her in the least.
She refocused and thrust her M50 forward, dipping beneath the Avenger and slipping past it on the low. It tried muscling her back, pointing its right wing down to mask her view, but Darring anticipated the move, shifted in kind, and kept her position and composure. Meanwhile, the Avenger pilot had lost his focus on the lane ahead of him, and failed to notice the ring closing fast and to the left. Darring hit her thrusters hard and shifted left, at the last minute moving out of the Avenger’s path. Darring took the turn and ring perfectly; the Avenger saw it too late, tried to adjust, and clipped the ring with its left wing. It broke the invisible plane of the tunnel and then overcompensated into a spin through the void.
Eat that!
She hoped that somewhere behind her, Guul was cheering. She could almost hear his resonant voice singing her praises. She liked the thought, but the most pressing concern now was right in front of her.
Remisk had been pushing his craft at full speed the entire course. How was that possible? she wondered. Sure, he had customized his M50 like all the rest, removing everything extraneous for extra fuel and cooling equipment, but he must be running on fumes by now after boosting like that. There was no other explanation. He would have to burn out soon, and the sooner the better.
She ignored the three other racers pressing hard at her six. She took the next ring and the next, letting the strong inertia pull and propel her craft forward. That was the best way to avoid overheating, she had learned racing around Saturn. Release thrust on the turns, and let your craft drift at top speed into the vector. Then you had enough thrust to pick up the few seconds you might have lost on drift. This racing gig was a game of milliseconds, and each one counted.
She moved up behind Remisk, taking advantage of the last straightaway before the final turns through the ultimate three rings. There was not much time left, and she had to make her move now.
She tried shifting up and over his craft. He moved to block her. She shifted down; he moved again, in perfect unison, their ships equal size. She shifted left, right, and each time Remisk moved to counter. How is he doing this?
He was a great racer. There was no doubt of that. He was strong, athletic and cool-headed. Remisk had not gotten where he was on the circuit without being smart and precise. But his moves, his instincts were almost supernatural, as if his senses were enhanced. But that was impossible.
Every racer went through a rigorous medical exam to ensure that no drugs had been introduced before the race, and further testing would be conducted along the way to ensure none had been taken after the first stage. Remisk was just that good.
Then I have to be better.
She pushed her engine to its limit, exceeding safe levels, much to the ire of her crew chief. He implored her to back off, take second or third place, don’t risk blowing your ship so soon for so little reward. Little reward, my ass!
She had taken the pole position, and she was going to let everyone know that it was not some fluke, that Hypatia Darring was here to stay. She wouldn’t give her fath– the media — grist for their mill.
She barrel rolled, letting the rotation of her M50 spiral her forward like a screw. Remisk, fearing that he would be clipped himself, shifted ever so slightly to his left, and Darring pounced. She pulled alongside him, letting her craft settle. She punched her thrusters again, feeling them wail their discontent through her arms and hands. Her stick was shaking, her heat warnings blaring. She could feel it all through her body, and there was, in all the galaxy, no feeling like it. It was something her father had forgotten. He was a good fighter pilot himself, or at least he was in his youth. But he had spent too much of his life in slow giants like destroyers, cruisers and battleships. He had forgotten what it was like to feel flesh tingle as strong g-forces threatened to rip your skin from its bones. Guul understood it. Remisk most certainly did. And even that sorry son of a bitch Mo‘tak understood the ecstatic feeling of sheer speed.
She pulled ahead. She took the next ring flawlessly, shifting against inertia and rolling through the next ring, which appeared immediately after the last. The final ring loomed large in the distance. Her crew chief, his attitude suddenly changed, barked “Go! Go!” into her ear. She smiled. She’d made the right decision. She most definitely deserved to be here racing among the greats.
Remisk pulled up above her, obviously giving her first place. She kept her course forward and strong, letting her warning systems holler. She giggled like a child, accepting praise from her chief. The flashing lights of the last ring did not make her weak or sick this time. She welcomed them happily.
Then a shadow came up over her, darkening her cockpit. It was Remisk, his M50 finding new life and overtaking her ship. In her joy, Darring had not realized that her thumb had lightened its pressure on her throttle, and she had slowed just slightly. Slowed enough for Remisk to swing his craft up and over her hull and plant itself, with its main thrusters, right in front of her cockpit. Darring tried keeping her speed and course, but Remisk kicked his boost and threw a gout of yellow fire across her cockpit windows.
Darring rolled left. It was a serious mistake. She tried regaining her position, pressed her thumb deeply into the throttle, but it was too late. Ykonde Remisk passed through the final ring in first place. The Avenger and one other racer took second and third, while Darring, her ship rolling uncontrollably through the last ring, barely finished fourth.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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sad-ch1ld · 7 years ago
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Writer’s Note: Part one of The Cup was published originally in Jump Point 1.8.
Hello everyone, and welcome once again to GSN Spectrum Broadcasting’s continuing coverage of the Murray Cup Race. The MCR, or The Cup as it is more commonly known, is one of the finest sporting events in the UEE. Nearly 100 racers compete in the Classic Division’s grueling 10-stage run, which winds its way through Ellis system’s many wondrous planets and dual asteroid belts. Racers compete to determine who’s the fastest and strongest, as they struggle to maintain the integrity of their racecraft amid some of the deadliest conditions in the Empire. This year’s competition promises to be one of the toughest, as the top 25 share in a meet-and-greet with media and sponsors in GSN’s sports atrium in orbit above Green. Though many come to race, only a few are considered real contenders, and those contenders are now awaiting their chance for glory and honor.
This year’s darling is Ykonde Remisk, a Human who surprised everyone by winning both the Goss Invitational and the Cassini 500. He comes into the MCR with a real chance to be the first racer to win the Triple Crown in twelve years. Then there is Nyanāl Mo’tak Xu.oa, the finest Xi’an racer in the history of the sport. If he prevails, he will be the first to ever win three MCRs in a row.
Zogat Guul, the old Tevarin warhorse, can’t be counted out, either. This legend has won the MCR more than anyone else in its history, but fate and bad luck have prevented him from winning a major event in over five years. His second place finish at the Cassini 500, however, has brought his name back to prominence. Can he win it once more before he fades away?
And finally, newcomer Hypatia Darring has turned heads by taking the pole position away from Remisk. She has never won a major racing event in her short career, but her consistent top ten showings for the last two years indicate that her pole position is no fluke. Can this youngster handle the enormous pressure placed upon her? Only time will tell . . .
Let’s throw it back to GSN reporter Mike Crenshaw, who is making his way through the reception as we speak. Who do you have for us now, Mike?
Hypatia Darring didn’t even notice the reporter’s question as she stared across the busy reception floor. The Tevarin looked lean and elegant amid a gaggle of reporters who crowded around him. Part of her felt like joining the crowd. I should feel the need to whip his ass, to blow past him on the final stage, to force his ship into an asteroid. That would be the feelings of a great racer, a great competitor, one focused and ready to win. But no. Try as she might, she could not feel that way toward this legend who stood only a few meters away. Much to her sorrow, she hadn’t had a chance to speak with him when their paths could have crossed at Cassini. Now, she had to find the time. She fought the urge to walk across the room, push past the media hounds, invite him to dinner, and ask him to sign the worn, faded, dog-eared poster of him in his youth — standing proudly next to his silver M50 — still hanging on her hab wall.
She shook her head and blinked. “I’m sorry. Say again?”
Mike Crenshaw cleared his throat. “Do you think Admiral Darring is proud of his daughter?” Darring clenched her teeth and forced a smile. “Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he be?”
“He has stated publicly, more than once, that he believes you are wasting your talents as a racer. That you should drop all this ‘nonsense’ — his word — and pursue a more fitting career in the UEE Navy.”
“My father has never been one to restrain his opinions,” she said, taking tentative steps toward Guul. “But if you really want to know the answer to that question, you should ask him yourself.”
Another reporter fought her way in. “Alice Frannif, Terra Gazette . . . taking the pole position from Ykonde Remisk was a marvelous achievement. How did you do it?”
Her smile was genuine. “Luck.”
“Oh, come now, Hypatia,” Crenshaw said, regaining the floor. “Achieving a time one point five seconds off the record is hardly luck. How’d you do it?”
She chuckled. “Patience, dedication, focus and an acute attention to detail. That, plus the fastest damned M50 on the circuit. All things I’m sure my father would appreciate.”
The reporters laughed and hastily transcribed notes. Darring made a few more steps toward Guul.
“Ms. Darring,” another reporter interceded, “how do you intend on maintaining your ‘luck,’ as you put it, through the entire race? Ten stages, all timed, many with narrow, dangerous channels, especially through the asteroid belts. You’ll be racing neck-and-neck with some of the finest racers in history. Being a relative newcomer, how do you intend on handling the pressure, maintaining your good start, and ultimately winning the cup?”
“She’s a natural!”
All turned, including Darring, and found Mo’tak Xu.oa, the Xi’an, dressed in a bright purple jumpsuit, standing among a pool of sycophants who followed him to every event. Some of them were ex-GSN reporters, now under full employment by the Xu.oa house, captured by his fame, notoriety and wealth.
Darring controlled her scowl as the stout Xi’an stopped a few feet from her. “She’s a natural,” Mo‘tak repeated, to make sure the reporters could record his reply. He was shorter than Darring by a centimeter or two — which was still unusually tall for his race — but his cool, amber eyes scanned her face carefully His powerful jaw muscles pulled back in a tight approximation of a smile. “She’ll win it by being the best racer on the circuit.”
“Do you really believe that?” Crenshaw asked. “She’s the best?”
Mo‘tak nodded slowly, diplomatically, his eyes affixed on Darring. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” He blinked. “How are you, my dear? Rested from your trials at Cassini?”
“Rested enough,” she replied, beneath her breath. The reporters leaned in to hear. “But you should know all about that.”
Mo‘tak waved her off as if she were his lesser. “The dangers of the trade, my dear. I did what I had to do to gain advantage.”
Darring nodded. “But you didn’t win, did you? Cutting me off in a move that, technically, was illegal, only gave you third place.”
“Still, a better finish than you.” Mo‘tak chuckled. His devotees did the same. “The Cassini is not all that important to me, my dear. The MCR is the crown jewel. You’ll understand that in time . . . if you last long enough.”
“Can we get a picture of the two of you side-by-side?” a reporter piped up. The rest confirmed that desire with exaggerated nodding.
Mo‘tak turned to the crowd, preening for all to see. “Of course you may have a picture,” he said, offering his hand to Darring in goodwill. “I’m honored to be a part of this great tradition. The MCR is dear to my heart, and with such brilliant competition, like Hypatia Darring here, this year’s race will be one to remember.”
Hypatia took his hand cautiously. She wrapped her fingers around his broad palm. Forcing herself to relax, she turned toward the reporters to let them take their pictures and ask their questions.
But then Mo‘tak began to squeeze, and squeeze, and squeeze until she felt the small delicate bones in her hand giving beneath the pressure. She squeezed back against it, but that didn’t provide much relief as Mo‘tak continued to grip. Don’t cringe, she said to herself. Don’t cry. Don’t give him the satisfaction. But the pain spread up her arm, into her shoulder, through her neck. God, he’s trying to break my hand. He’s . . .
He released, and the pain subsided. She sighed and wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead with her other hand.
Crenshaw was about to ask another question, but then someone spotted Ykonde Remisk, and they all scurried in his direction.
At her side, Mo‘tak chuckled. “We are only as important to them as our last quote.” The Xi’an turned to her again.
This time he didn’t offer his hand. He winked. “.athl’ē’kol to you, my zealous competitor. Safe travel. I’ll see you down the line.”
Mo‘tak disappeared into the doting arms of his fans. As he walked away, Darring caught the eye of a lean, surly-looking fellow who maintained a watchful position behind his employer. He nodded at her. She ignored him and imagined driving a knife into Mo‘tak’s back.
“Don’t let him get to you.”
The voice was soft and amiable. Darring turned to greet it.
There he stood, towering over her. In his shadow, she felt truly small, both in stature and in status. Zogat Guul radiated a kindness and a quiet experience that steadied her rage. She offered her sore hand humbly. He took it without complaint.
“Don’t let that pompous twit get under your skin. He’s infamous for his mind games.” With a quick grin, he snapped into formal posture, as if he were greeting an officer, thrusting his chest out though it was wrapped comfortably in a black-and-gold half-coat. “My name is Zogat —”
“I know who you are,” Darring interrupted, embarrassed immediately by her rudeness. “It’s an honor to meet you. It’s a dream I’ve had since I was a kid.”
“And I have been following your career with great interest.” He took her by the arm and began to lead her toward a table filled with three large punch bowls and an assortment of seafood appetizers. They walked slowly. “You are rising steadily on the circuit. Your name is on the lips of many. Your fifth place showing at Cassini was quite impressive, especially for someone so young.”
“Thank you. It would have been even more impressive had I won, if Mo‘tak hadn’t forced me back.”
“You let him get too close,” he said, with no malice or indictment in his tone. “You had the inside lane, but you slowed down to spar with him.”
“He pissed me off!”
Guul stopped, “Such behavior may be tolerated in the smaller, roundabout races like Cassini. But not here. Here, such raw emotion will get you expelled or killed. True, there are stages along the way where the racing will be tight, where you will have to maneuver for position. But speed matters the most here . . . speed and time. Remember, Hypatia Darring, the one most important fact about the Murray Cup: Speed is life.” He tilted his head to side. “Speed is life . . . or death, if you are going in the wrong direction.”
She laughed at that, letting the seriousness of his words trickle away. “We will speak no more of these things now,” he said, resuming their course toward the food table. “We will have further opportunities to talk later, when the lamprey are not so thick and hungry.” He ignored the wave of a reporter nearby. “Every word we speak here is interpreted and reinterpreted until, in the end, they will make us lovers in the eyes of the public.”
Darring forced a wry smile. “Sorry . . . you’re not my type.”
Guul let out a hearty laugh. He shook his head. “Story of my life.” He quickened his pace toward the food. “Now come, and treat me to a glass of the greatest gift Humans have bestowed upon the galaxy.”
“What’s that?” Darring asked.
Guul smacked his lips. “Lemonade.”
* * *
Mo‘tak crushed the thin shell of the jumbo shrimp in his mouth. He did not bother shucking it as a feeble Human might do. Blast this Human food anyway! What he wouldn’t give to be back at the family complex, gorging to contentment on huge handfuls of fermented needlefish. Their gallbladders had a bile that was as sweet — no, sweeter — than anything a Human might concoct. Nothing on the table before him was actually enjoyable in his superior opinion, but he tolerated it as best he could, smiling humbly as he picked at this dish or that for the benefit of the media. Mo‘tak nodded at a Human reporter as she walked by.
Humans had their uses.
And so did the one that stood now in the center of the media frenzy. Why weren’t the reporters surrounding him, asking him questions, begging him to divulge his secrets for winning the race, just as they had asked Darring? These damned Humans and their inferiority complex! So unwilling to recognize Xi’an superiority. But Mo‘tak was the best racer that had ever climbed into a cockpit, and his perfectly modified 350r, with its purple hull and reinforced golden-striped wings would do what no other racer had ever done: win the MCR three consecutive times. Neither Remisk, nor Guul, nor Darring could claim such a feat. So, why weren’t the GSN nya•osen’p.u surrounding him?
But perhaps that was best, he reconsidered, popping another shrimp in his mouth and sipping on a warm, frothless beer. Let Ykonde Remisk have his moment in the spotlight. Let the media have their favorites. For when they fall, when they fail to live up to the hype, Mo‘tak’s victory will seem that much sweeter. Yes, let them bask . . . then let them fall. And I will see that they fall hard.
“Is everything in place?” he whispered to an underling at his side.
“Yes, sir. Your maintenance crews are dispersed through the Ellis system per your specifications and per the MCR guidelines.”
Mo‘tak scratched his neck in frustration. “That’s not what I meant.”
The underling gulped and wiggled his head. “Yes, that matter we spoke of has been taken care of as well. But I would recommend against it, sir. The risk is too great, and besides, Mo‘tak does not need to rely on such things. He is the best racer on the circuit.”
“I do not pay you to give me such advice or praise. I pay you to do what you’re told. Now go, and make sure everything is ready as I have instructed.” He put his beer down. “And I will go and remind the ‘favorite’ of his obligation to me.”
The underling nodded and ran off to do his duty. Mo‘tak sighed deeply, put on his happy face, and walked confidently toward the madness surrounding Ykonde Remisk.
* * *
She loved her Origin M50 Turbo more than life. Banged up, scratched, red and white paint slopped on to cover a hull that needed an integrity sweep, but there had been no time for any of that after Cassini. Nor had she won enough credits yet for such repairs, not with having to pay for transport ships and her pit crew. But what of it? The power plant was sound, the thrusters new and top notch. In a pinch, she doubted that any racer, anywhere, could match it. Certainly, none of the other twenty-four challengers behind her — including Guul — could beat her in a straightaway. But the MCR had few straightaways. Hull integrity mattered.
As her crew chief rattled off the final systems check in her ear, Darring pulled up the map for the first stage. It appeared with a bright blink to display row after row of rings winding their way through low orbit above Ellis III. Darring studied the rings carefully, reminding herself which ones were large, which were small, where the cameras and timer buoys were located. All racers were required to stay within the “invisible” lane running through the rings; if a racer strayed outside, he or she would lose time. This first stage was both timed and awarded extra credits to first, second and third place. Having the pole position, then, gave her an advantage. But for how long? Darring leaned over in her seat and studied the course carefully.
It was not unlike one stretch of the Goss Invitational, so she had ample experience with this kind of run. Her M50 was built for strenuous zigs and zags through tight spots. But how well would she fare later on, when the courses got more deadly, more strenuous?
From Ellis III, the racers quantumed to Ellis IV where the so-called Seahorse Shuffle took place. Then on to Ellis V and the “Noble Endeavour.” After that, it was through the first of two asteroid belts, a course called The Sorrow Sea, where hulls of previous racers floated as obstacles. Then around the gas giant, Walleye, where ships could be easily ripped apart by one foolish move. A longer stage followed, across the outer asteroid belt (formerly Ellis XI) and finally to Ellis XII. Then the race turned back toward the heart of the system to finished at Ellis VIII. She had run this race before, but never as a true contender, and thus she had taken her time, flown each stage slow and steady, like a marathon runner, to learn all the ins and outs. This time, though, the pressure was on. She held the pole position, the top spot. Everything was different now.
The MCR starter’s voice crackled over the comm link. “Racers, prepare for launch.”
Darring closed the map, affirmed the standard agreement to MCR rules and regulations in unison with the other racers, strapped herself in, and gave a small prayer. She was not religious by any stretch, but figured it wouldn’t hurt. The prayer calmed her nerves as the bay doors of the starting carrier opened to space.
She could see Ellis III through the door. It was beautiful, green, its orbit peppered with corvettes and pleasure craft of the well-to-do who had come out to view the race firsthand. There would be plenty of spectators along the way, a lot of media, and Darring had to just put them all out of her mind. She focused on Zogat Guul’s words — Speed is life — and looked back through one of her cockpit panels to try to get a glimpse of the Tevarin’s upgraded Hornet. But he was too far back. All she could see was Ykonde Remisk’s M50, with its garish gold and blue trim. She noticed that he was too close to her; by rule, there was a specified distance that racers had to maintain prior to launch: the privilege of the pole position.
She gnashed her teeth and cursed beneath her breath. Someone was already violating rules.
“Hypatia Darring . . . you may launch.”
She didn’t even wait for the spokesman to finish. Darring burst out the carrier bay door at top legal speed.
Through a narrow channel flanked by media and spectators, Darring flew the ceremonial lap. The rest of the racers followed behind, releasing one after another, but maintaining their specified positions within the line. Ahead of her, the pace craft sparkled with a flashing red light. Nervous energy spotted her brow with sweat. Her crew chief gave his final comments and instructions. She signed him off and focused on the course ahead of her.
In her ear, the MCR starter counted down — ten, nine, eight . . . Darring thrust to the left, trying to keep directly behind the pace craft. Ykonde Remisk was right on her six, the nose of his racer dangerously close. Back off! Darring mouthed silently, wanting to flip on her comm link and tune to his frequency. It wasn’t strictly against MCR rules to speak to other racers, but officials discouraged it, fearing that frequent conversation during the race could produce distractions that would lead to crashes and injuries. Besides, there was enough chatter going on between racers and their crews. Still, Darring wanted to open a channel and scream into Remisk’s ear, Get off my back!
Five . . . four . . . three . . .
Now, all the racers tightened as the pacer made the last turn to set them up toward the first rings. Darring gunned it a little herself, closing in on the pacer. She put herself now just a little to the right of it, to keep Remisk from rushing past her at the last minute. Darring’s heart raced, her hands shook on her joystick. She tried concentrating on the small object that grew and grew in her viewport: The first ring, its rotating lights swirling around its virtual frame, signaling the beginning . . .
Two . . . one . . .
The red lights on the pacer flashed green, and it fell to the left quickly, breaking formation.
Darring pressed herself into her seat, gunned her thrusters, and blew through the first ring.
* * *
The flashing lights of the rings caused her eyes to ache.
They flew by her quickly and she was concentrating on them too much, too worried about her time, her position in the line. She had fallen to third place by count of the last timing ring. It had been her fault, too, worrying so much about conserving fuel, letting some pilot with a overclocked Avenger take the inside lane. Her crew chief yelled at her for it; she ignored him. The little shit was right, of course, but he was an old academy friend of her father’s, and she was in no mood to listen to him yell at her. Besides, she could overtake an Avenger at any time.
The real focus of her recovery had to be Ykonde Remisk.
The smarmy son of a bitch had forced her against the left wall of the tunnel they were speeding through. Her wing had actually broken the virtual plane, and the voice of the MCR caller came over her comm . . . “Ten seconds added to your time.” Damn! Remisk’s press was not strictly against the rules since his ship had not touched hers, but it was certainly dirty pool and against the spirit of the competition. She had no way out of the pick-and-roll either; it was as if he and the Avenger pilot were in cahoots. That wouldn’t surprise her in the least.
She refocused and thrust her M50 forward, dipping beneath the Avenger and slipping past it on the low. It tried muscling her back, pointing its right wing down to mask her view, but Darring anticipated the move, shifted in kind, and kept her position and composure. Meanwhile, the Avenger pilot had lost his focus on the lane ahead of him, and failed to notice the ring closing fast and to the left. Darring hit her thrusters hard and shifted left, at the last minute moving out of the Avenger’s path. Darring took the turn and ring perfectly; the Avenger saw it too late, tried to adjust, and clipped the ring with its left wing. It broke the invisible plane of the tunnel and then overcompensated into a spin through the void.
Eat that!
She hoped that somewhere behind her, Guul was cheering. She could almost hear his resonant voice singing her praises. She liked the thought, but the most pressing concern now was right in front of her.
Remisk had been pushing his craft at full speed the entire course. How was that possible? she wondered. Sure, he had customized his M50 like all the rest, removing everything extraneous for extra fuel and cooling equipment, but he must be running on fumes by now after boosting like that. There was no other explanation. He would have to burn out soon, and the sooner the better.
She ignored the three other racers pressing hard at her six. She took the next ring and the next, letting the strong inertia pull and propel her craft forward. That was the best way to avoid overheating, she had learned racing around Saturn. Release thrust on the turns, and let your craft drift at top speed into the vector. Then you had enough thrust to pick up the few seconds you might have lost on drift. This racing gig was a game of milliseconds, and each one counted.
She moved up behind Remisk, taking advantage of the last straightaway before the final turns through the ultimate three rings. There was not much time left, and she had to make her move now.
She tried shifting up and over his craft. He moved to block her. She shifted down; he moved again, in perfect unison, their ships equal size. She shifted left, right, and each time Remisk moved to counter. How is he doing this?
He was a great racer. There was no doubt of that. He was strong, athletic and cool-headed. Remisk had not gotten where he was on the circuit without being smart and precise. But his moves, his instincts were almost supernatural, as if his senses were enhanced. But that was impossible.
Every racer went through a rigorous medical exam to ensure that no drugs had been introduced before the race, and further testing would be conducted along the way to ensure none had been taken after the first stage. Remisk was just that good.
Then I have to be better.
She pushed her engine to its limit, exceeding safe levels, much to the ire of her crew chief. He implored her to back off, take second or third place, don’t risk blowing your ship so soon for so little reward. Little reward, my ass!
She had taken the pole position, and she was going to let everyone know that it was not some fluke, that Hypatia Darring was here to stay. She wouldn’t give her fath– the media — grist for their mill.
She barrel rolled, letting the rotation of her M50 spiral her forward like a screw. Remisk, fearing that he would be clipped himself, shifted ever so slightly to his left, and Darring pounced. She pulled alongside him, letting her craft settle. She punched her thrusters again, feeling them wail their discontent through her arms and hands. Her stick was shaking, her heat warnings blaring. She could feel it all through her body, and there was, in all the galaxy, no feeling like it. It was something her father had forgotten. He was a good fighter pilot himself, or at least he was in his youth. But he had spent too much of his life in slow giants like destroyers, cruisers and battleships. He had forgotten what it was like to feel flesh tingle as strong g-forces threatened to rip your skin from its bones. Guul understood it. Remisk most certainly did. And even that sorry son of a bitch Mo‘tak understood the ecstatic feeling of sheer speed.
She pulled ahead. She took the next ring flawlessly, shifting against inertia and rolling through the next ring, which appeared immediately after the last. The final ring loomed large in the distance. Her crew chief, his attitude suddenly changed, barked “Go! Go!” into her ear. She smiled. She’d made the right decision. She most definitely deserved to be here racing among the greats.
Remisk pulled up above her, obviously giving her first place. She kept her course forward and strong, letting her warning systems holler. She giggled like a child, accepting praise from her chief. The flashing lights of the last ring did not make her weak or sick this time. She welcomed them happily.
Then a shadow came up over her, darkening her cockpit. It was Remisk, his M50 finding new life and overtaking her ship. In her joy, Darring had not realized that her thumb had lightened its pressure on her throttle, and she had slowed just slightly. Slowed enough for Remisk to swing his craft up and over her hull and plant itself, with its main thrusters, right in front of her cockpit. Darring tried keeping her speed and course, but Remisk kicked his boost and threw a gout of yellow fire across her cockpit windows.
Darring rolled left. It was a serious mistake. She tried regaining her position, pressed her thumb deeply into the throttle, but it was too late. Ykonde Remisk passed through the final ring in first place. The Avenger and one other racer took second and third, while Darring, her ship rolling uncontrollably through the last ring, barely finished fourth.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago
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Janis & Jimmy
Janis: [stories of the gals getting ready at a mad early time like ???] Janis: they know the party really starts at midnight, yeah? 🤔 Jimmy: they know they'll be 🎃 or 🐀s by then, gotta get all the selfies they can before the clock strikes, obvs Jimmy: REAL question is do I have time to tattoo anti-Tory slogans across my whole body before her dad comes back to see me ✨ or not Janis: Tag yourself, 🎃 or 🐀, you're clearly the 🎃 Janis: duh, you've got the ink, I'll bring the needle Janis: easy Jimmy: 'cause I'm SO 😁 about this party, near as 🎃 Jimmy: what can I write to let him know my truest feelings about lawyers? 🤔🤔 Jimmy: no win no fee finger tats? Janis: weren't just calling you fat with a dodgy spray tan Janis: though it does sum up half the clan so 👏🏆 Janis: VERY working class Janis: perfect Jimmy: but if the 👠 fits, yeah? I get it Jimmy: only #DRAMA'll be if Ian rates them an' all Jimmy: I'd have to ❌ 'em out or cover 'em up with something that'll get him fuming before he realises Jimmy: or chuck a 👗 on to go with them 👠 Janis: SO many men, SO many ways to please 'em/piss 'em off 😤😰 Janis: and the shoe don't fit you babe, sort of the whole point Janis: 👸✔ Jimmy: 😘😘😘 Jimmy: just carry it about so I can start a 🥊 nowt more common than a chipped tooth and black eye Janis: be PLENTY of candidates for a smack Janis: not sure if there'll be many who could get one in though Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻 have to get my mascara running another way, huns Janis: 🤢 Janis: you when your gag reflex kicks in Jimmy: SHOULD I spray tan? Tell me honestly Janis: 😬 Jimmy: go on, what one do you use? looks well natural Janis: 😏 Idiot Janis: @ my sister 'cos hers ain't Jimmy: oh right, fancy dress 🥳 is it? Jimmy: THANK GOD you said Janis: if you ain't gone anywhere more exotic than Skerries for the break, you've GOT to pretend hun Jimmy: brb painting myself Janis: remember to do the backs of your legs Janis: don't wanna match Asia Jimmy: how many 🥊 do you reckon to knock her 🦷🦷 out? Jimmy: can't do no 🥇 twinning with them there Janis: could do it under 5 but you might lose more fingers Jimmy: o wi no f Jimmy: mysterious Janis: you what? Jimmy: it'll ruin daddy's favourite tattoos but Jimmy: the 😎🚬 Janis: oh Janis: pftt Janis: you'll have a few years before you've ruined it with all the coffee machine burns Jimmy: such a relief, that Janis: what's more 💪 #ladladlad than various injuries Jimmy: tah for letting me know before my rib has healed and I've pissed away all the content I could've had Janis: I mean, that's why he does it yeah Janis: that old excuse Jimmy: bit late for any dickhead to try to toughen me up Jimmy: wrong location an' all Janis: you're tough enough Janis: some would say you look rough in that 👗👠 Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I'm well busy turning myself into that Bargain Hunt bloke Janis: *budget HUN Jimmy: give me a break, Jodie, it's happening on mine in the CG 🚽 Janis: busy working boss babe, I get it Janis: I'm busy too, tah Jimmy: doing what? Janis: 🐕🏃 Janis: people wanna get ready/get pissed without worrying about their pooches, who knew Jimmy: I get it🎇🎆'll start and they'll all shit themselves, helps if they've already done a 💩 Janis: that, and I doggy drug them so Janis: everyone's 😁 Jimmy: except Ian, he'll be 💔����🎻 you ain't poisoned ours for the night Janis: There really is no pleasing some people Jimmy: @ Sharon in a bit Janis: when she's had enough seccys to spill the good goss Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🗨 about as good as the time he'll be threatening her with Janis: Ick Janis: I hate this night Jimmy: subtle hint and challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll turn it round for you, girl Janis: you ain't competing with much but Janis: go ahead Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need a thumb in the middle gladiator style Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I'll decide your fate, that's not necessarily rude Jimmy: which one's the 💀💀💀 one? Janis: 👎 I think Janis: but you'll be 👍 so maybe we need to switch it Jimmy: don't need to be fluent at signing to come up with a signal Jimmy: I'll make it really obvious for you when I want you to do it Janis: gun through the roof of your mouth is a bit obvious to the rest of the party-goers though, remember Jimmy: you want subtle you can have subtle Janis: I want you to do what you want Janis: if we're not enjoying fucking up their party, what's the point Jimmy: I don't do nowt I don't want Jimmy: far as this goes Jimmy: enough of that bollocks everywhere else Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: and I meant what I said Jimmy: not actually 😁 but Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: we're 🥇 Janis: it's them having the 💩 time Jimmy: already Jimmy: [group chat highlights] Janis: 😏 Janis: do we know which of them is bringing a victim? Jimmy: Asia DUH Jimmy: Tammy's the only one who had me #SHOOK Janis: bullshit Janis: be SO awks when her fake boyf doesn't show Jimmy: be so 💔 when it ain't a full set no more Jimmy: even 💀#2's spreading it about that there's a lad she wants to 💋 Janis: 😂 either you or her is lying now Janis: I'll place my bets Jimmy: insider tip, it ain't me Jimmy: I'd NEVER lie to you, sweetheart Janis: 💕 Janis: does it make Mia 😁 or 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 REALLY though Janis: that's the question Jimmy: my 💰's on 😁 when it don't happen Janis: that's with any of them 👑 Janis: thinks she's the 👸 of the story Jimmy: who's she faking it is? that's the real question Jimmy: remind me how many brothers you've got again Janis: just the 1, that's easy to remember, keep up Jimmy: if he were gonna brainwash himself into a new sexuality, she'd DEFINITELY be who for Janis: ✨ she ain't Janis: god bless Jimmy: 🙄 back to ootds, fuck's sake Asia Janis: Do you wanna see mine now or be pleasantly surprised later Jimmy: Do you want me to chuck this ☕ over the dickhead who ordered it or what? Janis: surely that goes without saying Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: [some lewk you won't be able to serve 'cos god damnit we deserve it] Jimmy: shit Janis: tell Asia she may as well stay home then? Jimmy: [does but in a way that's like loved up and #goals not like fuck you gals obvs] Jimmy: when did you sort that? Jimmy: it weren't the other day, I'd have 👀 Janis: would you? you were pretty distracted Janis: I had it way at the back of my wardrobe though Jimmy: Oi, don't be doubting my dedication to 🛍 Janis: you're well dedicated to the try-on, I know Jimmy: I know what matters, yeah Janis: you're gonna have time to get all your glitter on, yeah? Jimmy: I'll make time, LITERALLY see above for why, like Janis: Priorities, baby Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: I'll let you get on with spilling more coffee over more dickheads then Janis: 🕖 will fly Jimmy: you're the dickhead Janis: oi Jimmy: you are Janis: how am I? Jimmy: you know how Jimmy: you're gonna just 💀💀💀 me and piss off? Janis: You're not 💀💀💀 Jimmy: it feels like I could Janis: that's how I want you to feel Janis: do you want me to apologize? Jimmy: I want Janis: you want Janis: ❓ Jimmy: you here Janis: I want that too Janis: but I can't Janis: both busy Jimmy: that's why you're a dickhead Janis: blame your manager Janis: and these dogs Jimmy: they're not sending me 📷 Jimmy: looking so fucking Janis: should hope no Janis: t* Janis: your DMs are full enough without that blatant competition Jimmy: would explain the TENSION and shite shifts Janis: oi Jimmy: never said I were gonna give him any 😍 or 💌 back Janis: 😣 Janis: will have to ask to see your manager to fuck him up Jimmy: I get that you're just making sure my 😍 stay yours but I can't help falling for it Janis: Gotta do what I gotta do Janis: even if it means Karen-ing out Jimmy: not too busy for that? Janis: never too busy for a brawl Janis: um, defending your honour, I mean Jimmy: priorities Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: you ARE my priority Jimmy: *🐕🏃💰 Janis: what are you doing right now Janis: ☕💰 Jimmy: difference is I could and would be able to still ☕🎨 if I had you here on this counter an' all Jimmy: 🐕s ain't letting you do owt but 🏃 Janis: Trying to work out if you want me to give you the chance to prove that or not Jimmy: you think I've got owt to prove? Janis: Not to me Jimmy: who else? Jimmy: you're the only one I'm bothered about Janis: then Jimmy: then what? Janis: If I get time Janis: and get rid of all these dogs at a point Janis: I could try to come in Jimmy: 🚫🤞 Jimmy: but Janis: I know Janis: it's bullshit but Janis: I mean that I'll try Jimmy: it's not nowt that you mean that Janis: I am doing the route 'round mine though Janis: typically Janis: so it will take me a while regardless Jimmy: I'll be here ages Jimmy: maybe he wants to make his move after I've flipped the sign to closed Janis: doesn't he know we're the only ones allowed to be cliche Jimmy: knows nowt unless it's written in the work groupchat Jimmy: I'll have a word Janis: kind of you Janis: I could just pull up on him Jimmy: STOP OMG 🤤🤤🤤😍😍 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [a selfie with the manager in the background and he's drawn a 🎯 on him like] Janis: [finger gun selfie like pew pew] Jimmy: alright, don't keep reminding me how fit you are Janis: heaven forbid ANYONE forgets Janis: gonna take SO many selfies tonight Jimmy: Oi Janis: *couple goals selfies Jimmy: 📷's my job, dickhead Jimmy: don't matter if I'm in 'em or not Janis: so possessive about your 📸 Jimmy: bollocks am I, I've offered to lend it loads of times Janis: must be the muse then Jimmy: she is 🥇 Janis: you're pretty good Jimmy: but I could teach you 📸 there's nowt you could teach any dickhead about how you're 🥇 Janis: 📸 not the only thing you're 🥇 at Jimmy: there's a list you've got, so I've heard Janis: more than a maybe Janis: ✔ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you can have another Janis: at midnight Janis: better than a 💋 from a drunk randomer Jimmy: you're still gonna kiss me though Jimmy: ! and ? Janis: look weird if I didn't Jimmy: if you don't wanna I'll arrange to be 😭😭😭 in the 🚽 with Ella and Tammy Janis: highly doubt #2 has the energy to fake tears, let alone produce 'em Jimmy: just me and the tiktok 👑 then Jimmy: bit weird and cosy but Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: *💔 you mean Janis: you know I want to Jimmy: you have to, I'm turning the night round for you, as promised Janis: and that's your answer, yeah? Jimmy: if your question's how I'm gonna do it, I ain't gonna answer Jimmy: ⏲ and 👀 Janis: alright Janis: not promising patience Jimmy: I know what you're like, it's alright Jimmy: nowt if not used to that, me Janis: sound more put upon Janis: dickhead Jimmy: UGHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: there you go Janis: ha ha Janis: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣** there YOU go Jimmy: **🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you'll do yourself an injury Jimmy: not ANOTHER one 🎻 Janis: you brought it up, that time Janis: let the record show Jimmy: but it's you who's making it sound like I need to chuck a load of fragile stickers on my head Jimmy: good job it's massive Janis: I am not Jimmy: 👌 girl Janis: get in the group chat if you wanna chat like that Janis: BOY Jimmy: never left, I'd be GUTTED to miss one of Asia's POSSIBLE ootds Janis: stay in there Jimmy: [sends her the worst of these lewks] Janis: What's she going for with that... Janis: I? Jimmy: 🐧? Jimmy: hang on, no, it's OBVS 🦨 Janis: the slaggy one from Bambi Jimmy: very on brand of her Janis: interesting theme Janis: bit characters from retro disney Jimmy: 💀👑 must've sorted it Jimmy: ☠🍎's on brand for her Janis: she thinks the queen but definitely the crone Jimmy: don't she eat the lass' 💘 in the 📖? have to get her calorie counter app out Janis: actually a pigs heart so factor that in, babe Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: so much fat Janis: don't fancy it any more on the way back up Jimmy: I don't fancy my 🍪🧁🥐 no more, tah for that, mate Jimmy: gonna look so skinny in a bit now Janis: **less fat Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: ILY 2 BABES 💖🙌 Jimmy: such BFF goals, us Janis: rival 💀👑 n #2 Jimmy: 👏👏🥀 Janis: is she still with my brother or what Jimmy: dunno Jimmy: been a bit busy telling Asia she's dead brave for going with that 👗 Janis: 😏 Janis: shame she's thick enough to be expecting the 🥇 in the post Jimmy: I'll ask 💀👑 if she's doing a couple's outfit if #2 answers we'll have ours about your brother Janis: 💡 Janis: can't accuse you of the same today Jimmy: [sends her whatever the answer is] Janis: [probably should still be together for the drama and we're not committing you to ages here so] Janis: 😒👌 Jimmy: you'll have even more fun ruining it Janis: yeah Janis: we will Jimmy: 💔 we can't steal the 🎤 off her with some MASSIVE announcement Janis: we could fake one but fake calling off the engagement is more hardcore than fake break up, remember that Jimmy: don't worry me Jimmy: every dickhead knows LDRs don't work Janis: neither does teen marriage Janis: not #goals either Jimmy: What then? 🏠🔑? 🐕? Janis: fucked if I know Jimmy: ✈️ tickets 👋 Janis: yeah Janis: that's never not Janis: and easy to fake Janis: easy for us, anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: where we fake going then Jimmy: Where do you wanna go? Janis: 🍸🛍💃☕✨ OBVS Janis: but we should say your hometown Janis: most believable Janis: awh factor is a bonus Janis: you'll have 📸s Jimmy: you sure? Jimmy: nowt #goals about being there Janis: the #trust is the #goals bit Janis: anyway, you aren't going to have an actual break from CG for a million years so Janis: only a long weekend, all we have to do is hide the whole time, what's not to 💕? Jimmy: I get it, this is 'cause I said that whatever we do is #goals Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll make it look 🍸🛍💃☕✨ Janis: Sure you can Janis: don't you think it's a good idea Janis: could go over dead cheap, no one is going to think it's a stretch Jimmy: it'll do Janis: no one'd give me sympathy for my fake miscarriage so Janis: yeah, have to Jimmy: know our audience Janis: any bitch with half a brain'd reckon it 🍀 to get away with the sob story not the unwanted brat Jimmy: don't need any fake kids to raise an' all, got enough on with the real ones Janis: exactly Janis: be well rude of me Jimmy: bag of sugar'd just disappear into my tea Jimmy: near enough a murder Janis: 💀 there's slow n painful and then there's that Jimmy: bit bored of the rumours going about but Jimmy: end up with some right weirdos in my DMs if we went with that Janis: you rate the ones you got now then? Jimmy: as harmless enough Jimmy: the only 💀💀💀 pact I want is the one we have Janis: right answer Jimmy: I'll give you loads more of them before tonight's over with Janis: I'll give you whatever you like Janis: can't promise it'll be what you wish for at midnight but Jimmy: what you're NOT a 🧠📖? Janis: I am, OBVIOUSLY Janis: just don't think I can get it done, soz Jimmy: ? Janis: 🤫 Janis: can't reveal my secrets Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: mm 😏 Jimmy: did fall for how mysterious you are so Janis: that's the story Jimmy: 💕 Janis: who HASN'T fallen for my mystery, that's the question Jimmy: if this were a film or something one of them dogs would've cocked his leg on you as that sent Janis: rude Janis: if it was a film, I'd bump into a 😒 man and he'd be so unimpressed and I'd be so 😳 Jimmy: that murderer from a bit ago popping back Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: come bump into me, there ain't a more 😒🌧 about Janis: *Bill trying to get the story back on track Jimmy: I promise you'll be SO 😳 Janis: you're Janis: distracting me Jimmy: you started it Janis: you asked for it Jimmy: I will if it means I can have it Janis: try it then Jimmy: please Janis: yep Janis: okay Janis: let me just Jimmy: just hurry up, please Janis: I am Janis: you don't need to keep saying it and killing me Jimmy: [a voice memo to keep saying it and killing her obvs] Jimmy: do I not? alright Janis: I hate you a bit Jimmy: only 🤏? Janis: only? Janis: this doesn't feel like only Jimmy: so how much do you really hate me? Janis: so fucking much Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: got loads of ideas, me Jimmy: done nowt but think about you since I got here Janis: taking it despite the obvious Jimmy: where you obviously are on the fuming scale, yeah Janis: the obvious fact that your job is boring and so are your customers Jimmy: and co-workers Janis: your girlfriend ain't working then Jimmy: bit rude to call Pete a lass, his hair ain't even that long Janis: not who I meant but I'd know if he was in you'd be 😍 and ignoring me Jimmy: who did you mean? Janis: idk her name Janis: hillary Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: loads of dickheads have called in sick, bit weird that Janis: so strange Janis: going about, that Jimmy: she's probably one, whoever you mean Janis: hannah? Janis: lucy? Janis: you know who I mean Jimmy: I don't Janis: ugh Janis: the one that gave me evils Jimmy: her? ain't seen her since then Jimmy: assumed you'd murdered her Janis: fuck around and find out Jimmy: how'd you do it then? Janis: made her drink some bleach instead of putting it on her head for once Janis: easy Jimmy: Bill must've been chuffed to bits Janis: his idea, if anyone asks Jimmy: should've used a dagger if you wanted him to take the fall Jimmy: #obsessed Janis: didn't float one to me in time Janis: his own fault Jimmy: part timer Janis: thought you were accusing me Jimmy: you're not a piss poor 👻 Janis: tah Janis: 💕 Jimmy: far as your 🧛 rating goes Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: see the evidence of that Janis: speaks for itself so Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: I don't have the teeth or owt and I've done as decent of a job Jimmy: that speaks for itself an' all Janis: speaks for how irresistible I am Jimmy: gonna have to stop calling you 💪🏆🥇 if this pissing about keeps on Janis: I told you I had to finish up THEN get to town Janis: cheek of you Jimmy: cheek of you to ever call me soft, more like Janis: steady on Jimmy: should give you the nicest 🧛🏆 Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock one up Janis: I'll be a laughing stock Janis: you should be dead/my servant by now Jimmy: that's what I'm saying Jimmy: sort your head out, mate Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me Janis: no Janis: 'cos you want it, that's nice Jimmy: I'll fake a will to live for a bit Jimmy: come on Janis: you want mean Janis: 😶 Jimmy: I want whatever you want, my dear Jimmy: that's what I'm here for Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: it'd be a nightmare being with someone like that Janis: actually Jimmy: do you reckon any dickheads are actually going on like that? Janis: yeah Janis: plenty Janis: happy wife happy life shit Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: my sisters bloke is like that Jimmy: @iantaylor8 he'd be able to crack onto so many more Sharons with that bollocks Janis: he would NEVER Janis: do what you like, drown out the nagging Jimmy: never be able to keep it up but he's only gotta get them within ⛓ distance of the sink Janis: 😬 bear it Jimmy: we all will, owt to avoid having to do the washing up myself, OBVS Jimmy: too much of a #lad for it Janis: keep walking if you reckon I will Janis: not in the contract Jimmy: not a kink 🔓 and there's nowt about it in Bill's script, you're alright, Jillian Janis: 👌 Janis: in other news, dropped the last dog off Jimmy: didn't drop a ☕ in my rush to 🙏🙌 hearing that but a shitter 🤹 might've done Janis: you know how far it is to mine now, you're holding off on the excitement, like Jimmy: stamina like mine, bloody have to 👴💔 Janis: 😏 Janis: put my outfit n shit in a bag so we can go from yours later? Jimmy: loads later, after we've been alone for AGES, yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: ruining their party/life ain't gonna take all night Jimmy: few minutes if that Janis: you got plans for the rest of our time, right Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Jimmy: you know I have Janis: I like having confirmation Janis: sue me Jimmy: you helping me apply ✨ is a good bit of it Janis: I don't know if I'm gonna want to go anywhere after that Jimmy: I'll carry you ✔ Jimmy: where the fuck does she live? Janis: safe to say too far for that Janis: ❌ Jimmy: [the most pouty selfie of all time] Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: stop Janis: we'll take loads of breaks on the way, yeah? Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: something like that Jimmy: as addictive as that Janis: I Janis: wish your dad's car was still here Janis: and I'm going to get ready Jimmy: If my manager weren't, I'd bring you it Janis: never there 'til you don't want him to be 💩😁 Jimmy: what comes of not being a paddy round here is that, no luck Janis: 💔 poor boy Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: least you like the accent, makes it a bit less 💔 Janis: it's on the list, no spoilers though, wait and 👀 what else is Jimmy: not even if I 🥺 again? Janis: [gonna have to stop this now, ugh, fuck you shit nan] Jimmy: ? Jimmy: [later when she obvs has not replied] Jimmy: really dedicated to no spoilers, you Jimmy: did your phone 💀💀💀 or what? Jimmy: [a bit later again] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: if you're fake tanning without me, FUMING Jimmy: [and again] Jimmy: You alright? Jimmy: [even later] Jimmy: Where the fuck've you gone? Jimmy: I'll be done in a bit Jimmy: [and when he's done] Jimmy: answer me, dickhead or I'll 🚗 Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: [later still] Jimmy: What's going on? Jimmy: this is doing my head in now Jimmy: just Jimmy: [even later later] Jimmy: tell me you're not 💀💀💀 Jimmy: please Jimmy: [later later later] Jimmy: or owt else Jimmy: 🗨  any bollocks Jimmy: [after whatever lies Grace has told because why not] Jimmy: She don't look enough like you to act as stand in Jimmy: as understudies go, I wouldn't bother next time if I were you Jimmy: don't know why I'm still bothering with this Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [So clearly, going to be gone for a few days but be back before school starts] Jimmy: [do you wanna do that they don't see each other/he doesn't know she's back until school though or do that before as well?] Janis: [we were going to do the kid's birthday party thing I think?] Jimmy: [yeah that should definitely be as soon as she's back for max awkwardness I'm just wondering how he's gonna know she is lol so I thought maybe they'd have to do a school day first or something idk] Janis: [oh yeah, we could do it like that, that works, it's usually 4-6th is so] Jimmy: [cos like I think we did before that he saw her 🐕🏃 but I doubt she'd be taking dogs over the park opposite his house casually so school feels like the only place they would run into each other cos likewise not gonna go order a latte so unless she's on route to mcvickers and they run into each other that way because it's right by his house? but I feel like she'd think of that and maybe avoid there too] Janis: [we'll go with it, awkward] Jimmy: [the other question is has he covered for her/keep up the fake dating vibes or has there been zero content because obvs relevant either way] Janis: [up to you, as she did not ask this time, and clearly she can't have been posting anything] Jimmy: [yeah I'm not sure how much he'd be able to do onesided lol like he could've had pics and stuff that they haven't posted before etc but like if there's nothing from her I don't know how they'd account for that unless it's like a I lost my phone/ it's broken cliche but if he doesn't post anything peeps are gonna be like ???!! so which he'd wanna avoid so I could see him covering without being asked] Janis: [do your best boy, got faith, clearly the first thing we do when we get back is post something of our own] Jimmy: [plus it makes it more awkward when they do see each other in person because they'd have to keep up the fakery because there has been no lull far as the fans are concerned] Janis: [and we haven't actually done school fakery yet so, I hope it's a day you have a lot of classes apart lol] Jimmy: [do we wanna say they interact first in a class they don't have because like you said posting on socials again and we can awkwardly talk here or throw them straight into being together asap and having to navigate that?] Janis: [I think she would say something, tbh, not just show up like that] Jimmy: [okay then, have fun working out what you're gonna say boo] Janis: Sorry, didn't take my phone Janis: do catch up now Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: Yeah, Grace told you right Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: told her to Jimmy: you can crack on giving her a 🏆 Jimmy: she'll be chuffed Janis: Bit far Janis: but 🧠 like hers, glad she remembered Jimmy: lies and fake bollocks comes natural to her, that'll be why Janis: don't think she went to the party, actually Jimmy: got that in common Janis: Yeah Janis: shame but sure it was still shit Jimmy: yeah Janis: she looks 😢 rn Janis: and she's usually buzzing for psychics so Janis: something happened Jimmy: or didn't Janis: she'd be keeping it DL if she got dumped or her next victim didn't show so yeah Janis: possible Jimmy: might just be daddy didn't bring the right 🎁 back Jimmy: don't get more 💔 than your soulmate not actually understanding you Janis: no postcard Janis: makes sense Jimmy: I've done my 😭 that you didn't bother Janis: no 📱 no 🖊 Jimmy: no 🩸 Jimmy: #starving����problems Janis: not looking 💀 I don't think Jimmy: don't matter, there's ages before I have to give you 😍 IRL Jimmy: can practice on sir til then Janis: thank GOD Jimmy: find him at your brother's house? makes sense, ALWAYS going on about loving the gays Janis: Adds up, right? Jimmy: more than this lesson plan Jimmy: but that's saying nowt, sir's clearly had a rough go of 🎄 Janis: ain't we all Janis: no need to 😭 Jimmy: weren't about to get the 🎻s out, you're alright Janis: talking about him, anyway Janis: you're fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what's wrong? Jimmy: what are you going on about? Jimmy: I'm fine, you said it Janis: Alright Janis: you seem off Jimmy: not 😁 about school Jimmy: or still being here for it Janis: #therelatablemoodoftheday Jimmy: right Janis: Well I go home for lunch so don't worry about having to come find me then Janis: just english and detention, unavoidably so Jimmy: bit far, isn't it? Janis: I don't go home home, walk some dogs, if I have time, or go for a run Jimmy: just #bants mate Jimmy: even I've got that much of a grasp on where shit is Jimmy: and reading a clock Janis: a fair question, not a side-splitter Jimmy: weren't gonna have time to find you then any road, got my own home to go to and 🐕 to 🏃 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 in a bit then Janis: thought the lesson were shit Jimmy: know what you're like 🤓 be a bit rude not to leave you to crack on with yours Janis: well considerate Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can pretend we're doing the same dog walk Janis: in that vein Jimmy: [sends her some pics of Twix on a walk because Bobby would take like 4 million] Janis: sorted Janis: very cute Jimmy: save it for the caption, Joan Janis: I can do better than that Janis: not half-arsing it Jimmy: remembered your phone today, for starters Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: I didn't forget it, I just left it Jimmy: weren't pulling your weight either way Janis: yeah, I know Janis: no one does anything in January Janis: easy to get back on track now Jimmy: we've not been off track 'cause I ain't been off the clock Janis: alright, thanks Janis: I didn't tell you to Janis: or tell Grace to tell you that Jimmy: you didn't tell me fuck all Jimmy: and I didn't do it for you Janis: well I gave you a perfect excuse to not to Jimmy: I didn't fancy DMs full of lasses offering to take your place from the new year's 💋 onwards Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 is right Janis: if I can't go out the city without them pouncing then clearly we're not doing enough Jimmy: can't control what they do Jimmy: more #goals we are, the more they wanna step into your role Janis: fucking hell, okay Mr Perfect Janis: then what? Jimmy: what did you think would happen? Jimmy: there's loads of fans that are just 👏👏🌹 an' all Jimmy: 👀🍿 Janis: what is the plan for if not that Janis: you'll not put off everyone but if it's not better then it's broken Jimmy: if you want out, piss off out Janis: I'm not the one complaining Jimmy: neither am I Jimmy: I'm catching you up with what I did and why Janis: Great Jimmy: can't win with you Jimmy: mardy when I say nowt and when I 🗨 Janis: You're the one in a mood Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: you want me to be Jimmy: going on and on about it Janis: yeah, that makes sense Jimmy: never said it did Jimmy: should've told you to sort your head out Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm good Jimmy: that's more on brand for you, babe Jimmy: on you go Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: ha ha Jimmy: funny's more on brand for you an' all Jimmy: said it before Janis: what's your brand then? Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: yeah Janis: well you've not good a good grasp on mine so I'll decide, thanks Janis: got* Jimmy: got loads of time to do the ❌ while sir 🗨 and 😭 Janis: you don't need a list Jimmy: don't have one, so you reckon Janis: You've got the wrong ✔ Jimmy: got no ✔ about your branding Janis: don't matter Janis: only the fake Jimmy: if it don't matter why bother telling me I'm wrong? Janis: so you stop telling me what I am Jimmy: I get it, that bit matters Janis: if I've got to hear you chatting shit, yeah Jimmy: you only wanna have your go at it, I get that an' all Jimmy: 🚫👂 Janis: what have I said Jimmy: nowt but bollocks, that's the point Janis: You made it clear you don't wanna talk Jimmy: you started it Janis: I couldn't take my phone Jimmy: you could've made a tin can 📞 by now, you've had days Janis: I was a bit busy Jimmy: you know what I mean Jimmy: if you wanted to talk to me, you would've Janis: that's actually not true Jimmy: what your brother's not got a 📞 or 💻 Jimmy: it's just bollocks Jimmy: takes a minute to tell me you're alright yourself Janis: I didn't have a minute Janis: I clearly weren't at my brothers Janis: I told you that so you could put that out there if you didn't want to do the whole show yourself Jimmy: yeah 'cause that's what I'm bothered about Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I did my best not to leave you in the lurch Jimmy: I don't fucking care what the fake story is Janis: I'm sorry alright Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's not about how 💔🎻😭 it were or weren't for me Janis: what then Janis: go on Jimmy: you, dickhead Janis: what do you mean, me? Jimmy: if you need the list, you couldn't take your phone, didn't have a minute to grab one, weren't at your brothers, all shit you've said just now Jimmy: and before at the park you said you've stayed there Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Janis: Shit happened Janis: it's not my mum Jimmy: you don't have to tell me, but there's no need to chat bollocks Janis: Don't change that I went either way Janis: I don't think you're thick Jimmy: just leave it out acting like you went on holiday Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I heard you up there Janis: I don't know what to say else Jimmy: I'll let you 🤐 Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: I still want to talk to you Jimmy: @ me you're got loads of that to do Janis: 👍 Janis: If you like Jimmy: if you like Jimmy: not me who's got writers block Janis: you've told me what you don't wanna hear, not what you do Jimmy: since when do I need to? Janis: That's fairly obvious Jimmy: never been my job to feed you lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 for a bit of that if you need a hand Janis: don't have no problem with the fake story Janis: [do some socials, to that point] Jimmy: [just doing a socials sesh because it's simpler to be fake than handle how we really feel] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: tah Janis: means a lot Jimmy: not patting you on the back for doing your bit Janis: I can see the evidence right there Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: more like it Jimmy: piss off and do your physics 🤓 Janis: it's all 🏃 and 💥 Janis: nothing nerdy about that Janis: what are you doing? Jimmy: drying sir's eyes Jimmy: sure it means loads to him an' all Janis: I meant subject but pop off Janis: Lucas is going to be so upset Janis: CONSTANT job Jimmy: that'll be why I'm getting my practice is, gonna be so 😱😱😁 to FINALLY see him again, muscle memory'll have to do Jimmy: *in Janis: you'll do great Janis: 👸 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: Lucky him Jimmy: DUH he deserves nowt but the best Jimmy: I'm the lucky one to have all this detention ⏲ Jimmy: ⭐🏆 Janis: you can ask for alone time then Janis: see if he goes for it Jimmy: doubt that Janis: Yay Jimmy: gonna have to work harder than that at saying it like you mean it Janis: I don't Janis: it's bullshit Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: I've not thought about him all holiday Janis: almost forgot Jimmy: should've added more 💔💔💔 Jimmy: SO cruel, you Jimmy: he'll have 💭 of nowt else Janis: how he likes it Janis: no pain no gain Jimmy: all part of your plan, I get it, Judith Janis: don't always miss Jimmy: SUCH an athlete, I remember 🏀 Janis: it helps, I guess Jimmy: 🥅⚽️ Janis: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: I don't want a compliment Janis: I'm trying to Janis: never mind Jimmy: it's not much of one with nowt to back it up still, I get that an' all Janis: sure you'll still be here when the season starts Jimmy: bit rude Janis: realistic Jimmy: 👌 Janis: it's like next week, calm down Jimmy: not sitting here fuming about owt you 💭 Janis: alright Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your reassurances that we'll still be here, he'd be chuffed to hear 'em Janis: not my fault Jimmy: it ain't mine that you can't take a compliment Janis: you're not trying to compliment me, I'm not thick Jimmy: don't need to try for a start Jimmy: you're the one who's got catching up to do Janis: and I'm doing it Janis: what looks more suspicious than love bombing you the entire day Jimmy: nowt suspicious about that to our audience but alright Janis: fuck's sake Janis: [more socials] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: piss off Jimmy: you Janis: happily Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yep Jimmy: [sends her whatever drawings he did for the days she was gone because he said he'd do one every day bye] Janis: I get it Janis: yeah Jimmy: that you're so hard done by having to do owt that I thought I'd give you a hand with bollocks you can post, yeah Janis: no, that you've held that shit down, and I am grateful Janis: but as you said you don't care, and I had more pressing shit to deal with, I'm not going to say thank you forever Jimmy: I don't want you to say tah, not that dickhead Janis: just to hold it over me, you're THAT dickhead Janis: ? Jimmy: OBVS if that's how it's coming across that's how it is Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'd rather you just came out and said what you want to say Janis: or didn't say anything if you've got nothing, whatever Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: you weren't having it when I had nowt to say Janis: because I stupidly thought you might have Janis: if that's actually the case then sorted Janis: no worries Jimmy: same page then, us Jimmy: 'cause what have you said? Janis: Sorry, multiple times, thanks as well Janis: and I've been trying to talk and you keep shutting me down with bullshit Jimmy: yeah alright, it's my fault that I don't wanna hear that bollocks Janis: how the fuck would you know what I'm going to say, you haven't let me say it Jimmy: it were you who said you've got nowt else but sorry Janis: believe whatever you like Jimmy: it's a copout for dickheads who don't wanna really 🗨 Janis: no it ain't Janis: if I owe someone an apology, I say it Jimmy: you might as well say piss off or leave it out, that's what it means, I wanna crack the fuck on as if this didn't happen Janis: I know I should've given you more warning Janis: and I wanted to, but I didn't Janis: so I'm not going to keep telling you all the things I wanted to do or should've Janis: what's the point Jimmy: the point is that you don't need to keep chucking me a word that's just shut up and take my excuses Jimmy: 'cause they aren't, you did what you had to Jimmy: more fake bollocks is only that, fuck all use to me or you Janis: I'm not being fake Janis: I only lied when I weren't here to make being honest worth something Jimmy: it were worth something before Janis: now it ain't Jimmy: that a ? or ! Janis: closer to a ? but you've already answered it Jimmy: the only question worth bothering with is if you're alright and you've still not answered that Janis: I'm here ain't I Jimmy: not what I asked though Jimmy: I'm here an' all, don't mean I'm 😁 about it Janis: that's the point Janis: how can I look like anything but a spoilt brat when you want to go just as bad but you can't Jimmy: Do you need somewhere to stay or what? Jimmy: while I'm stuck here you can Janis: no I can't Jimmy: you heard me just say you can Jimmy: not a bloody me vs you for who's more 🎻🎻 Janis: I've had worse new years Janis: if you can believe that Jimmy: me an' all 💔 as missing that party were Janis: yeah Janis: Grace didn't go either Janis: 💀👑💬 Jimmy: just come over if you need to, fuck's sake Janis: how's that gonna work then Janis: on any level Jimmy: you pick if you want the sofa, a bed or the trampoline and then you go 😴 on it Janis: alright, I've got a vague idea how sleeping works Janis: 1. your dad exists 2. so do your siblings 3. and you, soz to put you last as per Jimmy: 1. but he don't matter 2. they've been waiting for you to wheel your suitcases in since they heard about you existing  3. why would I offer if I were bothered about having you about Jimmy: had worse people under the same roof Jimmy: @ every Sharon Janis: 'cos that's the low bar I wanna step over Jimmy: I'll compare you to my ex if you'd rather Jimmy: what could be more #goals Janis: why else would the kids be expecting it Janis: good for that too Jimmy: 👍 Janis: anyway, you do realize we'd have to fake it like 24/7 Janis: I'll figure something out Jimmy: who for? Janis: 👦 Jimmy: he's not gonna @ anyone Jimmy: 🐕 might Janis: yeah he will Janis: on the tin can to say the wedding is SO off Jimmy: I'll let you in when he's 😴 if you're that 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: I'm not scared Jimmy: you know where I live, Jasmine, make up your own mind Janis: can I say thanks or will you get fuming again Jimmy: piss off Janis: thought so Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I reckon my grandparents might let me stay Janis: I haven't spoke to them yet so we'll see, yeah Jimmy: alright Jimmy: give me a bell on the tin can 📞 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: or get Gracie to tell me, if that's your new favourite method Janis: 😒 Janis: come on Janis: needs must Janis: didn't have your number Jimmy: won't spread it about that you didn't memorise it soon as I gave it you Jimmy: be a right mixed message for the fans after all your tweets and that a bit ago Janis: I'll tattoo it on a digit I can stand to lose if you want Janis: made the emergency contact list a while back Jimmy: what's the plan, dramatically 🔪 the little one off next time you break a 🤞? Jimmy: very 🎭 Janis: alright Bill, put him back on Janis: I went off script, so shoot me Janis: make you feel better Jimmy: do what I can to rein him in but it looks like he's missed you Jimmy: or the back and forth at any rate Jimmy: just me and him's a bit Janis: glad someone has Jimmy: offered you a 🐕 and 👶's full attention but you didn't fancy it Janis: not what I said Janis: aren't meant to take someone up on their offer when it's too much Jimmy: weren't offering to chuck everyone else out and give you the 🏠 Jimmy: calm yourself down Janis: thank god Janis: makes it all alright Jimmy: you're making it weird Janis: how am I Jimmy: it's just somewhere to go Jimmy: nowt else Janis: yeah, I know Janis: I'm not saying it means anything more than it does Jimmy: it's too much were what you said Janis: like, you don't know what you're offering, not too much like I don't think it's 👍 that you did offer Jimmy: what about not thinking I were thick a bit ago? Janis: I don't Jimmy: then how do I not know what I'm going on about Janis: Okay Janis: if I need a place to crash, I'll make sure I 💬 you first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What are we going to do about Lucas though Janis: that's what's really important Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: 🤔 Janis: it's tricky, don't want to extend the time spent Janis: but we need to make it as 😈🔥 for him Jimmy: we can hack 💀👑's 🎄 don't get more 😈🔥 than that Janis: ugh, should've got him a present Jimmy: still time Janis: you got art today? Janis: make him a bowl for his keys Jimmy: 💔 I don't do woodwork, could've knocked him up a tie rack Janis: missed a trick Janis: I've got bio Janis: could...bring him a dissected frog? Jimmy: could ALWAYS make him a ☕ Janis: you wanna be his favourite, I get it Jimmy: easiest way to get the ☠ in Jimmy: wanna be Bill's fav forever Janis: you are stuck with him for that long Janis: and 👔🏫 breath is already that bad so go for it Jimmy: what if he comes back as a 👻 an' all? Janis: he is bitter and can't let go of the ex Janis: tracks Janis: let me drain him Jimmy: I can't, he'll taste so bad Jimmy: not that fuming at you Janis: good to know Janis: I'm trying to remember what gets him 😤 😠 😡 🤬 on the scale Janis: beyond seeing me RUINED Jimmy: 🗨 Janis: yeah Janis: 🔊 and 📱 Jimmy: I'll do you some paper planes to go with your boat Janis: 🥇🤡 things Janis: that will piss him off, especially with your aim Jimmy: should practice my 🤹 you're right Jimmy: but there's nowt wrong with my aim, happens to every 👴 when they have a piss, that, shut up Janis: makes me want to move in right away Janis: 😏 Jimmy: job done Janis: your poor sister Janis: it's probably the only plus to having majority sisters Jimmy: don't @ her Jimmy: she ain't a fan of  🎻 Janis: bit weird Janis: if anyone is in her DMs chatting about piss she needs to 🚨 Jimmy: *🥊 Janis: that too Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: goes off the fuming scale an' all Janis: yeah, I know Janis: wasn't taking the piss Jimmy: funny Janis: ugh Janis: shut up Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: still waiting for my 🏆 you keep saying it Janis: if you can piss into it I'll be impressed Jimmy: easy Janis: then I'll find you one Janis: don't do metalwork 💔 Jimmy: no point making you promise if you won't cut your finger off so 💔 right back Janis: when did I say I wouldn't? Jimmy: ages ago Janis: I was the one who suggested it Jimmy: sounds fake, that Janis: I told you I've got the needle, you bring the ink Jimmy: give us something to do that ain't writing whatever lines Lucas wants to read back when we've pissed off Janis: I dread to think how close to the bone he's gonna go Janis: I MUST NOT BE A MASSIVE SLAG Jimmy: closer than me with that needle Jimmy: don't tell Bill but I might rip off that film and write Lucas a 💌 Janis: 👸 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: that's you Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: fuck off is it me Janis: 🏃 is me and I don't even want to be Jimmy: I forgot about him Jimmy: you can have that Janis: yeah, exactly, dickhead Janis: he's boring and he's got daddy issues Jimmy: I'll be the mute lass who you only 😍 when she takes her eyeliner off Janis: fits Janis: what you'd look like if you were a girl/one of your coworkers Jimmy: piss off Janis: tell me I'm wrong, 'cos you'd be wrong Jimmy: I'm saying nowt to you, dickhead Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more 😍 than the gobby ginger, suppose Jimmy: If I leave it out with the dandruff desk 🌨 for my 🎨 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: stop at the sugar sandwich Janis: That's alright Janis: know you're a fat bitch Jimmy: might start a fake pregnancy rumour but I'll make sure they know it's my 🥧🥔🍺👶 sharpish Janis: so not only am I lesbian, also got a dick Janis: 👌💡 Jimmy: Oi, never said it were yours, sir can step up and be a man after he's sacked Janis: well that's just rude Janis: stop pushing me out the picture dickhead Jimmy: you left, Jules Jimmy: we were all 💔🎻😭 Janis: I'm literally right here Jimmy: where's 💀👑? Jimmy: #scaleupdates Janis: 😣 hurting her head trying to work out why my sister didn't show Janis: 🤯 when she invents the story to tell the rest of the gals Jimmy: alright, and where's the physics classroom? Jimmy: I've got today's 🎨 for you, didn't bother to draw it on my desk so you might as well have it Janis: [classroom #] Janis: would've been gas if you picked up and stole the desk but she'll still be 😭 😤 Jimmy: hang on, I'll re-do it Janis: you can still give me the paper one Janis: as well Jimmy: for when some dickhead draws all over your face Janis: I don't know about that Janis: I just want it Jimmy: okay Janis: though I do look forward to seeing the charming contributions from the fans and the haters alike, obvs Jimmy: 😈 Janis: so many 🍆s Jimmy: [my idea is he's drawn her sleeping and adorable curled up on the sofa with Twix or something because of that bit of the convo so however long it would take him to redraw that on a desk and then he's bringing it for a casual desk swap lol hey everyone] Janis: [everyone SHOOKETH, the teacher like hello??? we'd wanna kiss him so bad but settle for a hug hun] Jimmy: [likewise his teacher and classmates ?? where you going boy] Janis: [the casual drama y'all have caused, love to see it] Jimmy: [that hug would be everything though] Janis: ['til you get separated for stealing tables and defacing them lollollol but seriously SO intense] Jimmy: [should we put him isolation for a bit to mean they literally can't see each other until detention and ramp up the tension?] Janis: [definitely] Jimmy: [we'll have other chances to do awks shared lessons I'm sure] Janis: [naturally, this makes better drama] Jimmy: [soz not soz to Mr Lucas for that vibe in detention] Janis: [you'll probably love it perv lmao] Janis: you got a spare 🔑? Janis: I'll let your dog out at lunch time Jimmy: [different locations where he's hidden them so Cass can't find and deliberately lose them all how she do] Jimmy: Tah Janis: fair's fair Janis: I'll 📸 so it's #goals Jimmy: 💀👑's story can't, she don't have enough fans Jimmy: hatewatch'll only get you so far Janis: [OBVIOUSLY publicly answering the DMs of what happened because we know the fans would and like OMG LET ME SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT 'cos probably getting so over-dramaticized as it do] Janis: I've got it Janis: [publicly name and shame Ella with an anon she clearly wrote like 👀 you] Jimmy: I forgot #2 were about Janis: didn't we all Janis: she survived xmas 😱 maybe they got her to eat a sprout Jimmy: 🤞 it were a 🥄 of horseradish Janis: if her oesophagus wasn't burning before Janis: #festivebants Jimmy: cracker pull heart attack or nowt, tah hun Janis: 👴💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: speaking of, this school got a nurse or just the therapist? Janis: think the receptionist knows first aid and that's your lot Janis: why? Jimmy: probably not 💡🥇 to chuck desks about Jimmy: but I'll live Janis: soz to hear that Janis: you can't really tell 'em, it'd be less of a decent excuse to go home and more of a let's talk about home 🙄 Janis: hang on Jimmy: @ Helena Jimmy: fact she ain't in here for dealing is a pisstake Janis: but actually though Janis: we've got PE next Janis: I'll get you some Jimmy: not just gonna let you in here, we're too starcrossed Janis: I can scuff a blister or two under the door as I walk past Janis: I'll just tell you when I'm gonna so you can walk to the bin or whatever the fuck Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: you be alright 'til then? Janis: she's too thick for physics and be a bit obvious if I run in and snatch her bag so Jimmy: lesson's near over Jimmy: dunno what took me longer, your hair or the 🐕's Janis: so nice, you Jimmy: yeah, I know Jimmy: loads of lads would've found a lass with shorter hair to be their muse Jimmy: or left it unfinished Janis: you're SO brave Janis: and I've got no scissors to hand so Janis: have to stay for now Jimmy: meant to be me being psychologically fucked by the isolation, girl Jimmy: no need to do yourself a wonky fringe Janis: 😂 Janis: as if Jimmy: stick with your Q&A Janis: you sent a question in? Janis: stay tuned Jimmy: 'course I have Janis: how 😍😍😍 have you been? Jimmy: you tell me Janis: [go answer that for the #fans] Jimmy: [obvs send her another one cos that bitch] Janis: [flirtbackandforthletsnotlie] Jimmy: [we've got a LOT of feelings but also walls up now honey, gotta keep it 'safe' and 'fake' lol lol] Janis: [ah the joys] Jimmy: these 💊s gonna make me 😴 or what? Janis: if you're lucky Janis: they shouldn't knock you out proper though Jimmy: that were your luck, Jenna Janis: know yours ain't as good Jimmy: 🌧🌧🎻 Janis: still get your head down Janis: only thing isolation's good for Jimmy: you done 🗨 to me then? Janis: nah Janis: not got your 💊s yet have you Jimmy: I meant when I have Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want me to stop talking to you? Jimmy: that's what I just asked you Janis: not really Jimmy: so what are you telling me to 😴 for? Janis: because you're in pain Janis: and must be even more bored than I am Jimmy: got no dickheads doing my head in, I'm #thriving Janis: true Janis: PE is going to be a joy Jimmy: I get that it goes against how 💪🏆🥇 you are but Jimmy: just don't go Janis: where will I go instead Jimmy: you know where the spare 🔑 is Jimmy: take you one sec to 🏃 there from here Janis: bit rude to you Janis: I go and have an actual 😴 Jimmy: the 🐕'll never let you Janis: but it might be 🏑 Janis: go for the shins Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna recreate my 🎨 Jimmy: pressure, that Janis: don't wanna be a bad imitation, of course Jimmy: if you're not up to the challenge Janis: 'course I am Janis: cheek Jimmy: prove it Janis: fine Janis: got to get your stash first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [do that and get going 'cos you know he wants to talk to you and so you obvs wanna talk to him too so we is] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: only need 1 at a time, remember Janis: or you will 😴 Jimmy: alright Janis: trust, they're good Jimmy: I remember you rated them when you stopped denying they were needed Janis: weren't gonna leave poor Helena is pain for the craic purely Jimmy: oh soz, didn't realise you rated her an' all Jimmy: chuffed for you that you've got a new best mate Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off Janis: just don't want her to @ me with her back surgery bill Jimmy: she a 🧠 📖 an' all? Jimmy: SO much in common you two lasses Janis: fake date her then Janis: never catch her walking your dog Jimmy: with her back? do mine in trying to get her to do owt Janis: exactly, stop trying to palm me off onto her, she's shit Janis: and fakes injuries, which is #gal behaviour Jimmy: Bit late for Ella to crack onto her for #inspo Janis: probably say she's got back problems 'cos she's a fatty Janis: can't see it being 💕 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: alright, cupid Janis: bit early for that holiday Jimmy: can't help being a romantic Jimmy: written in the script Janis: some would call it hopeless Janis: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: @ Bill with your criticisms, sweetheart Janis: not a criticism Janis: just observation, babe Jimmy: meant to be 😴🐕💕 you Janis: let me get in the door and walk the fucker Janis: why you want me to go sleep so bad? Jimmy: just open the door for it, don't matter Janis: It's alright Janis: literally my job Jimmy: 🐕 won't pay you Janis: freebie Janis: she'll tell her mates Jimmy: what mates are them? even our kid's toy one reckons she's a twat Janis: 😱 Janis: you bastard Jimmy: a lass who don't know her place, under this roof, she's got nowt but enemies, OBVS Janis: why you want me to come over Janis: one on side Jimmy: that'll be it Janis: 🐶📱 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: she's sweet really, just needs putting in her place Janis: sorry to out your lack of skills @iantaylor8 but multiple Sharons for a reason babe Jimmy: not something I'll get a 🏆 either Jimmy: you'll have to do it Janis: it's not hard, the basics like Janis: and you won't have to be all 😡 🤬 to keep it up either Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: @iantaylor8 Janis: if the impression was anything to go by Jimmy: it were 🥇 Jimmy: but if you're gonna do owt that'll make his life easier Jimmy: you know how the rest of the sentence goes Janis: I dunno if I'm so 🥇 I can get her to be 😇 for you lot and shit in his shoes still Janis: but I'll give it a go Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: just 'cos she's 😱 of him, don't necessarily mean she respects him most Jimmy: Bringing back all those memories of the good old days with my mum for him Jimmy: be a bit awkward when she pisses off an' all Jimmy: brb mate just going down the park Janis: all women are the same Janis: definitely don't look inward Janis: my dad and all his bitches and even more brats Janis: entrapment, every time Jimmy: not having a game of mousetrap, you prick, not that he's about for #familygamenight to get that top bants Janis: but he really TRIED to be there, apparently Janis: if he's that shit at it he's gotta have that many go's, not worth fuck all really Jimmy: won't 🤞 on meeting his 👻 Jimmy: have to give a shit for there to be unfinished business Janis: why bother when you can get a woman to do that for you and all Jimmy: if only I'd met Pete sooner to palm all ☕🎨 off onto Janis: If only we'd ALL met Pete sooner Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Janis: I won't distract him from doing all your work 🤞 Jimmy: he's mine, back the fuck off Janis: that's how it is Janis: some mate Janis: and he's currently miss things so race is on Jimmy: the kind of mate who stops you 1. making a twat of yourself 2. getting a slaggy rep Jimmy: you're welcome, babes Janis: so you get to be the slag of the group? Janis: convenient Janis: jokes on you 'cos we all are some of us are just less obvious about it, SWEETIE Jimmy: DUH you were the massive virgin Lucas were grooming Jimmy: keep up with your own #narrative, hun Janis: fuck off Jimmy: as fake nice goes, not your best Janis: yeah well Janis: you ever actually heard them? Janis: pretty shit too Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: neither can they much longer Janis: can't wait 'til the big one snaps Jimmy: who's your 💰 on? Jimmy: Tammy's all 😭  tiktok mimes, be there til the bitter end Janis: be nice if #2 rose up and took her place as 👑 Janis: Bill would be thrilled Janis: probably Asia though, by accident Jimmy: 🗨 in the wrong chat one too many times Janis: exactly Janis: her next boyfriend is an actual undercover cop Janis: 🚨 Jimmy: #plottwist Jimmy: Oh Bill Janis: he don't know it's a bit 😬 to get a 15 year old with a 45 year old now, let him off Jimmy: WHAT?! IT IS! OMG Janis: you know your 💕 for Lucas is forbidden, babes Janis: that's what makes it 😍 DUH Jimmy: but not OURS! everyone's obvs gonna get #overit after a bit of murder Jimmy: 👴💔 Jimmy: fuming there's no happy ending coming WTF Jimmy: ???!! Janis: #awks Jimmy: least this 💊 is good Janis: 😁 Jimmy: I should be fake dating Helena, you're right Janis: now you know Jimmy: soz but 👋 Janis: at least make it convincing Jimmy: steady on, need my 🐕 walked first Janis: you can pay for it next time Jimmy: still mates rates though? Janis: is it? Jimmy: that's my question Jimmy: you gonna be too 💔😭🎻 about me and her or what? Janis: Helena, with her back problems? Janis: I think you 2 are made for each other 👴👵 Jimmy: 😁 Janis: SO happy for you Jimmy: Tah, Jolene Janis: 👍 Janis: enjoy your meds Jimmy: loving being able to breathe, like Jimmy: and thank god, 'cause who knows if she'll fancy a 💀💀💀 pact Janis: always a bonus, like Janis: you can convince her Jimmy: dunno about that Jimmy: only as inspiring as my muse, me Janis: a girl with a death wish is so hard to come by Jimmy: have to have the 💊💊💊 as my muse instead of her Janis: bit played out but what ain't Jimmy: yeah Janis: I'm glad they've helped Jimmy: how long'll it be for? Jimmy: easy 🎯for Lucas like this Janis: they've got better staying power than your average paracetamol Janis: but take the other one tonight and you should sleep well too Janis: I reckon GP might give you like a weeks worth, if you asked Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: me and the ���� if you've knackered it Janis: she's a 👶 Janis: more stamina Jimmy: how old do you reckon it is? Janis: you don't know? Janis: still under a year, definitely Jimmy: how would I? Janis: whoever your dad got her off should've told him, at least Janis: people lie sometimes though, you're not meant to take them before they're 8 weeks, at least Jimmy: might've, don't mean he's told me Janis: if he comes back for lunch I'll ask Janis: providing he doesn't 💀 me Jimmy: can't promise the 🐕'd save you Jimmy: but I would Janis: for yourself Jimmy: he don't get to 💀💀💀 you, no other dickhead does Janis: no one else Janis: that's the 🤝 Jimmy: ✔ Janis: better tell Helena Jimmy: not @'d her owt yet, it's alright Janis: let me finish my Q&A first Janis: look a bit stupid otherwise Jimmy: [obviously gonna send her more because we're in our feelings] Janis: [run to the 'fake' hens] Jimmy: [do we wanna bring up the kids party before the detention TENSION or after?] Janis: [ooh, hmm...I think after?] Jimmy: [break the inevitable awkward silence after how intense that'll be, makes sense] Janis: [and you'll have more of a reason to do it, like we KNOW you would anyway but it is flimsy at best so we'll give you that] Jimmy: [it's just tricky rn cos I want you to talk til then but don't wanna break the awks lol, oh lads] Janis: [it'll still be awks 'cos you've only seen each other so briefly actually IRL] Jimmy: [it's okay boy you can still have your guard up even if you accidentally get too feelsy] Janis: [we know the vibes] Jimmy: [not like it's never been a headfuck before or you've never gone back on anything so] Janis: [or won't have to again] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do you wanna chat more or skip a bit?] Jimmy: [I don't mind if we carry on cos we've slayed it so far] Jimmy: Get Ian to make you a 🥪☕ if he's knocking about Janis: He ain't so far Janis: but I know where the kettle is Jimmy: 🐕'll have just the one sugar Janis: she don't need no more Janis: even after this epic game of fetch Jimmy: if your 💪 hurts I've still got this 💊 you can have Janis: ha ha Janis: save your breath and meds boy Janis: I'm good Jimmy: I get it, you don't want me to @ Helena for no more Janis: maybe I don't wanna go through her bag again Jimmy: long as I don't bring you any more desks, won't you need to Janis: 💔 Jimmy: we're all 💔 Janis: could've had a career in removals Jimmy: you could be a careers adviser Janis: wow, my dream Janis: thanks so much!!! Jimmy: get to hang about the staff room, know you'll love that Jimmy: 👔🏫💕 Janis: the happy ending we're all 💭 of Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: one of us'll get one Janis: you'll be well happy with your new missus Janis: 🥴 from all the 💊 Jimmy: not planning to use 'em for 💔 Jimmy: or get in that many 🥊 Janis: yeah Janis: but Helenas pretty annoying Janis: you'll need 'em Jimmy: never spoken to her before, no need to start now Jimmy: 💪🔇 type, me Janis: she doesn't know any sign Jimmy: good Janis: bit rude to teach me some and then ❌ me Jimmy: lessons don't have to finish an' all Janis: I will have to talk to Bobby Janis: after the wedding of the century, like Jimmy: and you said your cousin might need teaching Janis: that too, actually Janis: if nothing else she can call her mother a shithead Jimmy: don't need either of us for that, Libi'll sort it Jimmy: I'll still knock you some lessons now though, got nowt else on Janis: talk me out of all my roles, it's fine Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: how old's she? Janis: erm, gonna be 4 soon, I think Janis: she's never spoke Jimmy: I'll start with the proper basics, asking for owt she wants Janis: yeah, anything would be helpful Janis: got to be frustrating as hell Janis: thanks, by the way Jimmy: [sends her videos of him signing and pictures he's drawn of the hand gestures etc all that good stuff] Janis: they let you do that instead of Irish, yeah? Jimmy: if it were that easy it'd be a pisstake Janis: obviously, I mean that's cool though Janis: more useful than Irish, any rate Jimmy: you should ask if you can swap Jimmy: love's young dream Janis: yeah right Janis: they'd love that Jimmy: I get it, you're worried you'd look a twat not keeping up, but I won't let that happen Jimmy: not the kind of mate I am Janis: just don't reckon any teacher has got the goal of us spending more time together Jimmy: don't have a teacher, it's all online bollocks Jimmy: no other dickhead's got the same set of excuses as me Jimmy: or the new boy ✨ obvs Janis: the handicap of being English, yeah Janis: I hate Irish, so I could ask Janis: dunno if they'd go for it Janis: but 🤷 Jimmy: what were it you said about the shots you don't take? Janis: 🖕 Janis: deserved maybe but 🤐 Janis: you don't just wanna get out of teaching me yourself, by any chance? Jimmy: I like teaching you Jimmy: don't mean I'm any good at it Jimmy: got no coffee breath or shit ties Janis: it is essential to be 🥇 Janis: but you aren't bad at it Jimmy: do have enough sob stories to go on about, all sir were bothering with, we might be alright Janis: you're good Janis: showing Libi too Jimmy: What do you wanna 🗨? Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: Put me on the spot Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: but go on Janis: I could ask you to sign anything right now Janis: only got the 🐕 for company, here Jimmy: in isolation here, challenge accepted Janis: who they got 'keeping an eye' on you? Jimmy: Ms Burke Janis: they would Janis: slip her a pill if she manages to notice fuck all then 👍 Jimmy: she's already sedated herself, you can crack on with your request Janis: alright 🤔 Janis: how many go's do I get? Jimmy: how much do you wanna say? Janis: how do you say 'loads' Jimmy: [send that] Janis: [send it back like ta-da] Janis: what about 'fuck all'? Jimmy: [send that] Janis: [do that, swear words are always funny lol] Jimmy: [and always the first thing you have to find out yourself cos teachers don't want you to know] Janis: how would I say Janis: 'Janis is the best at everything' Jimmy: [signs it calling her a bighead instead but cos he's saying it at the same time she obvs knows even if he hasn't taught her before which he might have] Janis: oi Janis: bloody rude Janis: how am I meant to trust your teaching skills? Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: [do it properly though boy] Jimmy: I've just fingerspelt your name, Jules Jimmy: your sign name depends if you're talking to our kid or me Janis: might be handy to know my real name Janis: so I don't look like a total muppet Jimmy: [draws out the alphabet and sends it like see if you can do it] Janis: [give it a go, gal, do his as well] Jimmy: [show her how to do whatever adorable sign name Bobby has for you jimothy because you're his fave person ever and he would've thought of it as a bub] Janis: bless Janis: far as nicknames go Jimmy: [show her Ian's because it'd be so lowkey shady, casual bub sass] Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll deffo use that Jimmy: [show her yours for him which is obvs even shadier like that's the one I use] Janis: he must LOVE that Jimmy: about as much as when I call every Sharon mum Jimmy: would call him worse if I weren't mostly signing to a 6 year old Janis: Not your fault you're confused, tbh Janis: you can get out the really obscene shit now if you like, I won't clock half of it anyway Jimmy: [does obvs but without saying it too so she and Ms Burke can't clock it] Jimmy: probably meant to use the names our kid does any road as he's the deaf one but Jimmy: so creative, me Janis: got to make sure he keeps practising, yeah Janis: not the kid, obvs Janis: also some of that looked like you was having some kind of seizure, how gone is miss rn Jimmy: she'll be 😴 before either of us Janis: 🙄 and we actually need it Jimmy: you @ your nan yet or what? Jimmy: done some lessons for Libi an' all Jimmy: [send that through too] Janis: nah Janis: it's gonna be a whole conversation and I'm meant to be 😴 Janis: but I will show Libi those, and NOT the ones before, note to self Janis: needs no help with her filthy language Jimmy: 🎅 is still #SHOOK Janis: too #SHOOK to add her to the naughty list Jimmy: 😏 Janis: show me how to say some goals shit then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [do that back] Janis: what about 'I missed you' Jimmy: you did mean #goals, yeah? not Jimmy: I dunno 🤓 flirting Janis: you don't know when I'll need to flirt with a deaf nerd Janis: go on Jimmy: [show her] Janis: [do that with purpose hen] Jimmy: [we're all just in our feels trying not to die rn] Janis: show me something you wanna teach me Jimmy: [show her how to say please because there are so many saucy but also feelsy uses and connotations for that] Janis: [do it loads of times, like could be #bants could not be] Jimmy: you're good at that one Janis: 😇 Janis: manners are well important Jimmy: what about Jimmy: [do 'stay' because of course we are] Janis: [do it and combine the two 'cos duh] Jimmy: There you go, that deaf nerd ain't going nowhere til you're done with him Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: have to 🔎 one first but hey Janis: prepared now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bet that's something you could do, too Janis: teach that 💰 Jimmy: how many jobs do you reckon I've got time for, girl? Janis: I know Janis: I want to be able to move out as soon as I can though Janis: don't you? Jimmy: soon as I can ain't as soon as you Janis: right Janis: he's 6 Janis: rough Jimmy: it don't matter what I want Jimmy: or how 🎻🎻🎻 it is Janis: you reckon he'd ever let you have him, even a bit earlier Janis: after uni, or whatever Jimmy: only if it suited him Janis: yeah Janis: that's what you want? if you've got any say, hypothetically Jimmy: both of them away from that twat Janis: it gets your sentence down to 6 years Janis: instead of 12 Janis: still more than the 3 I'm 🤞 for but Janis: who knows where you'll be, might be somewhere less shite Jimmy: ⚰ Janis: no good to either of 'em then Jimmy: not meant to be my job though Janis: I know Janis: don't matter though does it Janis: like you said Jimmy: only to the orchestra Janis: he's not gonna be the 'kick you out at 18' type is he Janis: not whilst you're useful to him? Jimmy: answered that yourself, Jasmine Janis: stop him getting a permanent Sharon Janis: that's your main job then Jimmy: stops himself Janis: true Janis: loads of desperate bitches Janis: 🐶💕 Jimmy: he'll kick me out if my sister ever stops being as fuming as him Jimmy: makes for a shit babysitter Janis: yeah Janis: get that Janis: probably alright on that score Janis: if it ain't genetic, it's well ingrained Jimmy: tah for not saying hormonal like I thought you were gonna Janis: if I was alright with throwing that about, may as well join shit nan's church group and call it a day Jimmy: 💔 for the hot priest you won't Janis: she might see if he's alright to do an exorcism Jimmy: far as date nights go Jimmy: I'm chuffed with that Janis: don't remember inviting you to shout bible verses at me Janis: chuck some holy water about Jimmy: but I wouldn't miss it Jimmy: have to grab my long lens if nowt else Janis: 😏 Janis: keep you posted on if I'm saving my soul or nah Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: my 📷s are in my room if you fancy a go Janis: fun Janis: and you're sure you've left nothing incriminating out, yeah Jimmy: sure I'm not bothered Janis: and I'm not a snoop Janis: ask my customer's owners Jimmy: chuck us their @s Janis: um Janis: soz, line went dead there Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: con- what- hello??? Jimmy: alright, dickhead 🏆 Janis: thank you Janis: 🙇 Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: never said I were that impressed Janis: disgusting Janis: get you in for the next exorcisms at this rate Jimmy: his and hers Janis: so #goals Janis: though she'll hear nothing of it Janis: you're a LAD and can do whatever you like Jimmy: *good 🙏 lad now Janis: so you say Jimmy: depending who's ? Janis: me, dickhead Janis: who else Jimmy: you know the answer, dickhead Janis: sign it if you're embarrassed Jimmy: piss off, nowt does Jimmy: you know that an' all Janis: 🤘 that Janis: ain't it Jimmy: what? Janis: 😈=🤘 Jimmy: right Janis: could be calling you 🐮 suppose but context Jimmy: 🐐🔪 bit of a step down for us Janis: so immature Janis: 👶🩸 or bust Jimmy: sounds like you're asking me on another date, that Janis: and? Jimmy: and alright, I'll find and kill a 👶 with you, obvs Janis: 😍 Janis: you always know just what to say Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: [does the thing about her being the best again] Jimmy: exactly Janis: [do his name like you too] Jimmy: dunno about giving me 🏆 for everything Jimmy: won't get out this door Janis: much as miss would love that Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: it's Ms, get it right Jimmy: Dead mysterious, her Janis: will not respect her pronouns, soz Jimmy: til she keeps a more decent bottle stashed none of her choices are valid, I get it, pisshead Janis: look, if she wants to let the married teachers know she's damaged enough to cheat, that's her lookout Janis: but miss and sir saves remembering their names and they need to deal Jimmy: 😂 Janis: please call me Ms Cavante from now on, tbh Jimmy: bit of roleplay Janis: 🤏 Janis: just gonna set you homework Janis: be dead disappointing Jimmy: know what you're like 🤓 nowt else were expected Janis: 😣 oi Jimmy: change my mind Jimmy: if you reckon I'm wrong Janis: easy Jimmy: to say Janis: wait and see Janis: Detention Jimmy: have to wait and see what ends up on my 📷 an' all Janis: yeah Janis: you can give me critique but Janis: you won't wanna Jimmy: make me sound like a right dickhead Jimmy: not working for the 🎨 department Janis: you only wanna be student? Janis: but you LOVE moonlighting as a professional 45 year old Jimmy: just don't wanna dress like miss for the roleplay, won't do nowt for either of us Janis: 😂 Janis: please don't Janis: I've left my fringe alone Jimmy: 🚫✂ Jimmy: not to use on yourself any road Janis: 😏 Janis: do you think that's an appropriate way to talk to a teacher? Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: that'll be why I'm in isolation though Janis: yeah, with MS Burke Janis: not me Jimmy: if we get rid of Lucas, detention is Janis: if I come back now before PE is over, I'll have time to prepare something Janis: a distraction Jimmy: did you have your 🥪☕? Janis: why? Jimmy: what do you mean why? Jimmy: before you go Janis: I'm good, don't worry Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: you don't need to ask Janis: I know how to get myself lunch Jimmy: you don't need to be a dickhead Janis: you neither Jimmy: I'm not Janis: alright then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I washed up, it's fine Jimmy: told you, the rubber gloves do nowt for me either Jimmy: not a #kinkunlocked Janis: not trying to be but I've not trashed your house if that's what you reckon Jimmy: what would I reckon that for? Janis: Dunno, what it sounds like though Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: not gonna do the 🐕 out of a job, she don't pull her weight as is Janis: she's asleep at the minute but no promises you won't come home to a disaster from her obvs Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: say night to her Jimmy: [signs it and sends that] Janis: she got that Janis: said night babe Jimmy: 💰 on you translating that one wrong Janis: um, you heard Janis: basically a dog whisperer Jimmy: save it for the fans Jimmy: that's the fake bollocks they 😍 Janis: how dare you Janis: not out here saying you make a shit cuppa Jimmy: 'cause I don't and you or her ain't that good at lying Janis: my biggest job atm is literally lying how am I not Jimmy: not about ☕💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: you've really taken personal offence yeah Jimmy: any northerner would do Janis: 💔💔 Janis: soz for disrespecting your culture Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: 😒🌧 Janis: I am Janis: so serious Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: that a dog whisperer secret? behave like the 🐕? Janis: rude Janis: just 'cos it's not racial don't compare me to a dog Jimmy: rude that you don't wanna be like your new best mate Janis: you're the one that wants a new bestie Jimmy: bollocks Janis: @ Helena Jimmy: @ her 💊s Janis: I can get you 💊s Jimmy: and I could get them myself if I were that bothered Janis: why are you getting rid of me then Jimmy: never said that Jimmy: to you or Helena Janis: don't Janis: we're still mates, aren't we Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I fucked up Janis: not very mates #goals Jimmy: I'm not 💔🎻😭 over missing the party, I said Janis: I know Jimmy: you can do what you like, it's nowt to do with me Janis: 'Course I can Janis: but a heads up would've been good Janis: not like asking for a lot, I'm not thick Jimmy: heard you had a lot on Janis: still Jimmy: you don't owe me owt more than you made Grace give me Janis: alright then Jimmy: didn't expect you to be gone that long but it weren't owt to make it look like you weren't, like we said Janis: and I didn't expect to have to take off that fast Janis: don't mean it didn't leave you in the lurch just 'cos it was unavoidable Janis: felt it, whatever Janis: so there, have it Jimmy: I don't want whatever 🏆 you're trying to give out right now Janis: it's not Janis: for me or you Janis: just what it is Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't have to accept a sorry but I do have to say it Janis: it's done now though so Janis: don't need to be 😬 Jimmy: if you mean it as you won't fuck up again, I'll take it Jimmy: it's just not what most dickheads use it for Jimmy: might be a northern thing an' all Janis: that's the goal Janis: promising as much would just be 👍 until proven bollocks and I don't wanna do that, fuck that Janis: but if I have to go again, I'm going to make sure I give you warning and whatever else would help it not be such a dickhead thing to do Janis: but 🤞 Jimmy: you're a dickhead, don't ❌ your whole brand, mate Janis: 😏👌 Janis: like being charming is yours Jimmy: when I have to go an' all, I'll be charming with the 👋 Janis: yeah Janis: is a bit rich but there you go Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you'll not be sending postcards to say soz Janis: and fat use if you do Jimmy: I'll be sending 'em for the 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: daily thing, that Janis: yeah obvs Janis: makes it alright Jimmy: it were you who told me to keep on Janis: just saying Jimmy: what? Janis: why am I apologizing? Jimmy: weren't me who said you had to Janis: well I'll take it back when you fuck off then Jimmy: why wait? Janis: 'cos I'm not a dick Jimmy: if you're gonna take it back then it don't mean fuck all now Janis: and yours won't mean nothing even if you sent it every day Janis: be even Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: 'cos you're going for good, don't matter how soz you may or may not be Jimmy: and you coming back don't mean you won't piss off again, might be for good an' all for all I know Jimmy: that's about you, when I go it won't be nowt to do with me Janis: 1. you want to go, that's not nothing to do with you, own it at least 2. yeah, I wanna be gone as well but that ain't why I left then, for fun Jimmy: 1. you don't know what you're going on about 2. I never said it were Janis: 1. it's all you've said since you've been here, that's what I know 2. pretty much did but whatever Jimmy: 1. what I've said is that I don't give a fuck where I am, every shithole is the same 2. you weren't thinking about nowt but yourself is what I meant Janis: 1. yeah, exactly 2. got to do what we've got to do Jimmy: yeah we do, they're got somewhere they wanna be and I don't, ignoring that would make me a massive twat Janis: it's alright Jimmy: It's not and I don't need you to chat bollocks to me that it is Janis: for you Jimmy: *for them Janis: nah, for you Janis: sorry I don't have younger siblings to give me a fake reason to live Janis: I don't have to be selfless, that ain't my fault you got no other choice Jimmy: I'm not gonna sit here and write you a massive list of who might give a fuck about you pissing off and why, fake or real Jimmy: there's a whole scale between being selfless and not being a fucking dickhead Janis: Good, be a massive waste of time for us both Janis: it isn't the same, so you don't get it Janis: they need you, no fucker needs me, end of Jimmy: you heard me say do what the fuck you like then Janis: I don't need you to say it but tah Jimmy: I got that you don't need nowt from me, don't worry Janis: be stupid to Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: far as fake reasons to live go, you reckon I've already got mine Janis: you do it if you want Janis: why should I Jimmy: no fucker needs you, you said, if that's what you reckon, if this is all a waste of time, that's why you should Janis: because that's not why we're doing it Janis: it's to stop people wanting us Jimmy: Why did you even bother asking if we're still mates? Janis: why did you bother saying it in the first place? Jimmy: it ain't me who's going on as if I don't have an inbox full of dickheads Jimmy: if that's what you're doing it for 💔 for you Janis: not what I asked Jimmy: but there's your answer, I said we were mates 'cause we were Janis: that'll be why I asked then Jimmy: if nowt matters to you but your DMs, there's no need to ask Jimmy: make up your mind Janis: not what I've said at any point Jimmy: it's what you just said Janis: I said that's what the plan was about Janis: not that it's the only thing I've got or give a shit about, but thanks Jimmy: what it were about, yeah Janis: there's just Janis: fuck it Janis: need to get back for next lesson Jimmy: didn't need the update but tah for it Janis: whatever Janis: go away then Jimmy: see you in detention then Janis: hooray Jimmy: you can leave that out Jimmy: Lucas is the only one chuffed Janis: I can be as well Janis: all I care about, after-all Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: really Janis: what a revelation Jimmy: shouldn't be Jimmy: I've said it loads of times now Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: yeah, you're fucking annoying Janis: I knew that Jimmy: dry your eyes then, mate Jimmy: got lessons to go to Janis: fuck off Jimmy: you Janis: I just got back Janis: and you can't make me Jimmy: could do but I ain't THAT selfless Jimmy: soz to piss on your carefully crafted narrative Janis: what, that everyone hates me and wants me gone? Janis: not that tragic Janis: not being needed isn't being wanted 💀💀💀 Janis: it's not a sob story, if anything, makes this all a lot easier Jimmy: tah for spelling that out for me Jimmy: now I can FINALLY get my head round it I'm BEYOND chuffed for you Janis: yeah, make it more convincing next time around Janis: that you understand, that is Janis: don't need your blessing either, OBVS Jimmy: if there were anyone around I might bother Jimmy: don't need your 🏆 Janis: fortunate Janis: be a real shame Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: just like that, yeah Jimmy: no need for 👏👏🌹 either Jimmy: it's all the same bollocks Janis: yeah, there's no need for any of this Janis: yet here we are Janis: deal with it or do something about it Jimmy: do it yourself Jimmy: I've got enough to deal with, my sob story that you keep going on about as if you've got it all memorised Janis: and? Janis: I don't give a shit, do I, 'cos all I care about is myself Janis: not mates, never were Jimmy: and I don't need you tell me I've got no fucking choices Janis: I'm not Janis: I'm not telling you anything, or trying to for that matter Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we better skip honey] Jimmy: [oh this detention] Janis: [oh lawd, in a mood now] Jimmy: [the 😒 isn't just his face rn honey] Janis: [just sassing into this room they've had you in all day boy, by sassing I do mean storming lbr] Jimmy: [whatever he's meant to be copying out we all know he's really doing v unflattering pictures of Mr Lucas because how we be feeling rn we don't care how much trouble we get in or what happens] Janis: [the lecture you're gonna get about ruining the school trip like it weren't a million years ago, like let it go babe] Jimmy: [we've lived a whole rom com life since then sir so obvs Jimothy is just 🙄 feel free to give him a lecture about that if you want hun] Janis: [we know the way neither of you gives a single fuck is gonna infuriate him so much, also saying she sits in front of Jimmy so she doesn't have to look at him] Jimmy: [make him have to look at your hair and the temptation of having her back to write on, love that] Janis: [mhmm, did that on purpose, at least we know full well Lucas is the type of dickhead to be like ooh you had a lovers tiff 'cos they're both in such a mood so it gives us an excuse to have to fake a bit like fuck you] Jimmy: [what an absolute dick, we all know the type] Janis: [think he's being bants 'cos everyone always takes the piss out of him and own back but no, really obviously passing back a note that's SO extra and lovey-dovey but also talking about what a loser Lucas is] Jimmy: [send the drawings with the reply you do because she'll enjoy them even more now that he's being SUCH a dick] Janis: [the laugh we're barely stifling like hope you have to come and look at these hun but also they'd be genuinely funny] Jimmy: [also shamelessly passing her gum or sweets or whatever we have that we're not meant to be cracking out now like love you gal] Janis: [blowing bubbles with the gum to be that bitch like we know you're gonna begrudgingly have to stop her 'cos you're such a perv] Jimmy: [glad Jimothy can't see that from his angle because how distracting] Janis: [can see when we go to the bin to take it out and we spit it out just as suggestively, maintaining eye contact and winking like it hasn't been a million years] Jimmy: try not to die boy because that would get to you under any circumstances never mind these when it has literally been the longest you've not seen each other since you started this] Jimmy: [obviously gonna maintain the eye contact like it's nbd but] Janis: [coming back and doing that thing where you like hold and stroke their cheek as you turn to sit down like so casual] Jimmy: [the restraint it would take to either not make a SOUND or flinch away when she did that which are obvs his two conflicting urges, but what we actually do is play with her hair as she does that like it's a choreographed scene and in the hopes that she'll then be in the same boat as he is] Janis: [obviously we are, even if our flinch reflex is out because we're proving something here, leaning back in your chair so your head is practically on his desk and he can keep playing with your hair, at least until you're told to stop then the most dramatic UGH like ffs sir living my best life here] Jimmy: [playing with hair until that last possible second because 1. it's a fave 2. it'll annoy sir 3. it's something you're so used to doing and can get lost in as if it hasn't been a million years/everything isn't so shit rn] Janis: [gonna go some texts 'cos also duh and if he does see it'll annoy him, even if it means losing your phone for the duration when he do] Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: [a selfie doing it because it'll annoy Lucas that he took one if he sees and also like I know you can't see my face rn and you're so gutted about it] Janis: you're so hot Janis: [such a dramatic wistful sigh 'cos trying to get caught, nothing more OBVS, but Lucas is probably trying to ignore you two now like stop it] Jimmy: you Jimmy: [and obviously an even louder one back that's of course only for the same reason lol] Janis: [just play a lowkey game of boogeys with that which could get so indecent lmao] Jimmy: [Sir is gonna need a minute ™] Janis: [truly lmao, we're just trying not to crack up 'cos it's so serious of course] Janis: wish we were in here alone Jimmy: [write out a saucy little scenario for what you would do if you were that I honestly hope Mr Lucas will see at some point because OBVS that's the only reason we're saying any of this yep] Janis: [step it up sir, when you've got an hour of this and you wish you'd never bothered lowkey loooooool] Janis: I know a way, if you really want it Jimmy: ? Janis: Maybe I should make you wait for it though Janis: [not wanting to send texts that don't sound real/flirty rn 'cos the goal is him reading them, obvs, but trying to get across like do we ACTUALLY wanna be alone or nah] Jimmy: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: I probably won't get away with another selfie Janis: That's good Janis: how could I say no to that face Jimmy: or owt else in my 📷 roll Jimmy: there's loads of really convincing shit in there Janis: his rant did remind me Janis: of how many 📷 we took on the trip Janis: and the ones we didn't Jimmy: feels like ages ago Janis: too long Jimmy: when's the next one? Janis: [ask Lucas for his HA! of a reaction] Jimmy: [we loling because we shall openly mock you and your lack of authority sir, don't give a fuck] Janis: [honestly, like okay babe, looking forward to all the team building and shit] Janis: you'll still wanna be my partner by then? Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know how I feel about that Janis: I like when you tell me though Jimmy: 👀 or 🗨? Janis: show me yours I'll show you mine Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: [make a big performance ™ of writing on her back so Lucas can't fail to notice but we don't actually have to say anything we're probably just drawing a 🏆 or something like well done for this 'fakery'] Janis: [acting like that tickles way more than it ever actually has and going to turn like you're gonna make out or something but obviously getting stopped and probably moved a few desks away or something] Jimmy: [waits until she's been moved and then 'accidentally' spills a shit load of water everywhere like oops must be because I'm so distracted rn relatable isn't that sir and then the whole rigmarole of having to sort that out would make Lucas be fuming like he's either gonna have to also move Jimothy or leave to get shit to clean that up with] Janis: [probably just trying to move him and then being like NO SIR THAT'S A SLIP HAZARD like we are so concerned and how dare you at least get a wet floor sign] Jimmy: [off you go dickhead, give them a minute to breathe and be real but also an excuse to have to make out or something which is perfectly timed for your return] Janis: [should say something creepy about them seeming like they want him to see because the looks you'd give him/each other are sending me] Janis: think he's actually having a break from reality Janis: 😕 Jimmy: get the school therapist on the 📞 Janis: might leave you alone then Janis: 😡😡 Jimmy: be nice if everyone would Janis: [asking Lucas if he knows the school therapist lady in such an obvious way like she's trying to matchmaker them] Jimmy: [chiming in because #teamwork honey, I'm sure Lucas is shooketh because this is probably the most Jimmy has ever said] Janis: [casually a bit terrified, bless but not at all sorry] Jimmy: [I like to think from where she's sitting now they can send each other so many LOOKS but also looks like oh sir] Janis: [for sure] Janis: wanna be impressed? Jimmy: depends if you mean by you or sir 😏 Janis: oi 😂 Jimmy: go on Janis: I bet you I can get us out of here for good in the next 15 minutes Jimmy: and if you don't? Janis: You get whatever you want, of course Jimmy: can't lose Jimmy: I'll be timing you Janis: [having a text back and forth with someone that ain't him obviously and then waiting] Janis: [so my idea is when she was coming back into school she keyed his car up and has now text Sophie who's in some kind of after-school club to go to the office and tell them she's just found it 'cos she's quite good so we're not suspecting her of doing it then going to inform them, so someone from the office coming in within this timeframe to be like um hey 'cos he probably has some wanky mid-tier sports car and will be FUMING] Jimmy: [LOVE THAT] Janis: [just looking and LOOKING (lbr when are we not) at him when Lucas has run out in a fluff like ta-da 'cos had that planned since we came back baby and now they can just leg it 'cos he's distracted as hell] Jimmy: [THE LOOK he would not be able to stop himself giving her because that's impressive as hell like he'd honestly probably also go to kiss her and then be like -] Janis: [casually not moving or breathing for ages like he might still do it, as if he didn't just stop himself, but then going in her bag and pulling out a hoodie that is not his but Ian's and handing it back 'just in case the CCTV caught shit' and shrugs like we know it didn't but may as well look like a middle-aged dude if not] Jimmy: [chucking it back at her and gesturing to wherever she keeps the lighter he gave her like feel free to burn it because fuck Ian] Janis: ['was on the back of a chair' like don't think I've gone through his wardrobe or something weird 'knew it weren't yours' and such a face feel the shade sir, offering it out for a bit longer but nods and takes it back like alright, makes no difference to me] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling at the shade face in spite of everything because it's so important and makes you so happy and relieved that she's always been on your side about him] Janis: ['maybe he'll think it was Ian, kill the bromance' like we're just talking not to be awkward now 'cos you know you could just walk out] Jimmy: [does an IRL 🤞 but crosses her one over the other instead of doing it with his own because we just have to touch her to prove we can and it's fine after the near kiss] Janis: [such a wary smile 'told you I'd show you' in a quieter voice than we've been using but not quite whisper level] Jimmy: ['yeah' likewise soft about it] Janis: [going to walk but not just going, like are you coming or] Jimmy: [obvs we are and we do and we're lighting both of us a 🚬 as soon as we can because she's earnt that] Janis: [just smoke that in silence 'cos at least we know how to do that] Jimmy: [mhmm, though he would go to say something at least once] Janis: [trying not to be too !!! but obviously we want him to say something, doing a feelsy lean as we walk like what] Jimmy: [obvs we're doing it back because always 'can we just-' what boy] Janis: ['yeah' like whatever it is, we can 'cos sincerely mean that] Jimmy: [looking at her like lowkey 😍 lowkey amused because we know she means it even though she doesn't know what we mean and like when does anyone ever care or support us like this] Janis: [pushing him really gently with our next feelsy lean like oi, 'cos you're aware it sounds a bit thirsty but you don't actually care so 😏 'you know I've got nothing else on, why not'] Jimmy: [pulling her as gently closer to him because we just can't help ourselves and taking a big breath likewise because this is all so hard having abandonment/trust issues but also loving/missing her as much as we do] Janis: [speaking really quietly 'cos proximity but also we must 'cos we're so unsure of what to say or do in terms of fixing anything 'I probably said some things I shouldn't have?' as a question not to be annoying but like we truly wanna know as is our confusion but hugging him like earlier 'cos must] Jimmy: [a lil scornful noise an himself like hard same babe 'me an' all' and after he's hugged her for the longest time ever writing 'you' on her but then putting a line through it like it's not your fault 'I'm the dickhead'] Jimmy: [*at] Janis: [shakes her head 'call it a draw, just this once' like we're both 🥇 on this score, going to explain loads of times but the complex emotions never mind the story that's so involved lowkey so we just don't, enjoying being near him again like it's all new 'cos it's been so long] Jimmy: ['I meant what I said before, alright' does not elaborate for what would feel like ages excuse him 'if you need to stay at ours, you can, the rest is just...' trailing off because we obvs mean is not as important as being safe etc] Jimmy: [but we can't say bollocks because it's not] Janis: [just waiting for that like what what what then softening when he does say it 'I know you meant it' and squeezing his hand like !!! thank you but we're not gonna outright be like yes absolutely 'cos we feel like it's not even that bad, even though we HATE being home there's not like a valid enough reason because shit nan isn't always there or whatever] Jimmy: [hug her again but then obvs your feelings are too high so you're like 'I should-' and nod in the direction of your house boy, like remember those siblings I have no choice but to look after] Janis: [straighten up like 'right' but not trying to come across as disappointed as we are 'cos not that bitch so smiling 'got catching up to do with customers as well'] Jimmy: ['piss off then' but soft not like fuck you bye] Janis: [waving like bye as you go but 'see you later?' just as you're about to 'round a corner or whatever] Jimmy: [I love that he's the one who said he should go but has lowkey not moved LOL just a look like do you wanna see me later as if that's not obvious] Janis: [stopping like you really not gonna answer, as if this whole street is watching and waiting lol] Jimmy: [signs 'see you later' like we're so put upon but we're clearly amused] Janis: [does it back best we can but does 'I missed you' 'cos got that down] Jimmy: [we wanna do it back but feels are getting too high again so we just nod like well done gal you have got that down and do whatever 🤓 is instead] Janis: [🖕 but in a bants way and you must go now] Jimmy: [😏😘 because we love it but yeah fuck off both of you please]
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kingsterracerp-blog · 8 years ago
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Thank you for applying, SILVER. You have been accepted as RANDALL BUCKLEY. Just don’t forget to check out our CHECKLIST and send in your account within 24 HOURS. If you have any questions then let us know!
OUT OF CHARACTER.
NAME: Silver AGE: 19 TIMEZONE: GMT +2:00 ACTIVITY LEVEL: 7/10, I am generally online on mobile when I’m in class and on the computer at least four hours every day. Now, when exam time times, my activity goes down a bit but it still remains at least one hour and it’s only a few weeks out of the year - thankfully. PRONOUNS: they/them SHIPS: chemistry ANTI-SHIPS: no chemistry TRIGGERS: Removed. PASSWORD: Removed. ANYTHING ELSE: Removed.
IN CHARACTER.
DESIRED CHARACTER: Randall Cash Buckley, Jr. NICKNAMES: Rand, Randy, Junior AGE/BIRTH ORDER: 25, oldest FACECLAIM: Liam Hemsworth GENDER IDENTITY/PRONOUNS: male, he/him SEXUAL/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Bisexual (closeted), biromantic (closeted) HOMETOWN: Goss, Mississippi OCCUPATION/EDUCATION: Carpenter and wood carver
(MORE) IN CHARACTER.
POSITIVES: handy, creative and trustworthy NEGATIVES: traditionalist, secretive and proud
@buckleyinboston: Nothing better than some Conway Twitty and a cold one. @buckleyinboston: Don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the northern accent. @buckleyinboston: At least I can still go fishing in this city. Buildings as a backdrop, but I guess we all gotta compromise.
BIOGRAPHY.
** TW COT DEATH, HOMOPHOBIA **
Randall Cash Buckley, Jr. was born on a hot August day in 1991 at his parents’ house in Goss, Mississippi. He was the first born and to this day, still annoys his twin sibling with that fact and the fact that he must have been loved more from the start, because he got their daddy’s first name.
The Buckley’s were dirt poor; they really were. His father helped out on the tree farms whenever he could for minimum wage and his mother worked at the local diner. It simply wasn’t enough to keep the family afloat. His parents were too proud to use food stamps, something young Randall couldn’t understand when they went to sleep hungry - again. He was never one to sit idly by, though and when he was seven, he asked his uncle to teach him how to fish after school. They went down to the river and when he was ten, he simply started to go alone. He had an old bike, a bike trailer he’d begged his other uncle to make him and some rope. That was enough to carry all his fishing supplies. After school, when he could, he went down there to fish and more often than not, he brought home fish for dinner. They weren’t the biggest fish and weren’t always that tasty but they weren’t hungry and in his family, that was rare.
His father got a job at a local lawnmower shop and because of the steady income, they finally managed to have some security. They still got by on a minimum and couldn’t even think of saving money, but at least the days of going to bed hungry and no electricity were behind them. His parents still worked long hours and aside from about an hour in the evening, Randall and his sibling were often left to fend for themselves. It made Randall feel lost and lonely, especially because he really didn’t have friends his own age. He was quite a shy child and always looked shabby in his hand me downs and dirty shoes. He really didn’t have anyone aside from his uncles to hang out with.
That changed when Randall was twelve. An elderly man named Billy moved to the town with his bloodhound, Ed. He took Randall under his wing and paid him a few dollars to do little jobs around the house, which Randall saved in case one day, he really needed them. Growing up the way he did, taught him not to waste his money on things such as candy and toys, which other children did do. The old man often carved wood as Randall was fixing and cleaning things around his house. Randall was simply fascinated by it. When Billy asked him if he wanted to learn how to do it, Randall happily said yes.
That is where Randall’s love for wood started. He first learned how to carve and later, the older man taught him how to make furniture as well as widow and door frames. Randall had never really known what would come of him as he wasn’t very good at school work nor at sports but this was something he was good at, working with his hands and using wood to make useful and beautiful things.
At 15, his life was turned upside down. A new boy moved to town to live with his aunt, after his parents had passed away. He was an African-American guy named Caleb and Randall felt things for him he had never felt before. They were fishing buddies at first, as they discovered they both liked to do that, but Caleb wasn’t just a friend. Once they were by the river side, they were more than friendly. Maybe even flirty. Randall couldn’t keep his eyes off the gorgeous other boy’s flawless dark skin, pearl white teeth and beautiful dark eyes. There were many nights when he couldn’t sleep and thought of Caleb in ways no man should, at least in the eyes of God and his parents. He felt ashamed and distanced himself from Caleb, he simply couldn’t be gay, not in this town. To this day, he regrets not kissing Caleb back when the guy tried to show him what Randall meant to him. He just pushed him away, wiped his mouth and called him a fag. The hurt he saw in his friends face broke his heart. He told the other guy that he was disgusting and walked back towards his bike. He cried until he reached town.
It took him months to emotionally recover from that and it was hard seeing Caleb now hanging out with another guy, named Marcus. They were found out to be gay and bullied by all neighborhood kids and even some adults. Randall didn’t stand up for his old friend, in fear of being grouped in with him and his boyfriend. He was disgusted with himself, not only for what he felt but because he was such a coward.
Randall met Dixie when he was sixteen and developed feelings for her. It was such a relief. This meant he wasn’t gay, that he was normal and that all would be okay. She was a beautiful girl with red hair and brown eyes. They were high school sweethearts and he didn’t have eyes for any girl other than her. When he was 18, he bought a ring with half of the money he’d saved up from working for Billy and proposed to her. She said yes and he had never been happier.
He started two years of vocational training to become a carpenter, which he finished at the top of his class. Two weeks after graduation, when he was a month shy of turning 21, they got married at the local Baptist church. He wore borrowed clothes, as did she but they didn’t mind. The clothes didn’t matter, their love did.
He got a job as an assistant carpenter in town and while it didn’t make too much money, it covered half the bills they had to pay at her parents’ house where they were living and they could save Dixie’s paycheck in full. She made quite a bit working as a secretary at a local business.
Ten months after their wedding, their little girl was born and they named her Magnolia Lou. She had red hair just like her mother. Randall felt pride he hadn’t felt before. He just strutted around town, telling anyone who wanted to hear (and even those who didn’t) that he was a father of the most beautiful little girl in the world.
He was a father for four months. Then he found his daughter with a blue face. Cot death, they told him. It wasn’t his fault, they said but that was his daughter, his little girl. It was his responsibility to keep her safe and he hadn’t. He had failed as a father and a man.
He was 24 when he got divorced from Dixie, another failure but one he knew that he had created himself. He was inconsolable and lashed out at Dixie over everything. When he went for the bottle to drown his sorrows, she decided that enough was enough and filed for divorce. He didn’t fight it. He just signed whatever he had to sign and moved back to his parents’ house. People around town were sympathetic and he hated it. Everyone knew his story, everyone knew about his failures and he felt suffocated. He needed to get away.
He went to a local internet cafe to look for a job that suited him and had decent pay. He finally found an opening at Tailgate Carpentry & Home Repair in Boston. He applied and after a Skype call in which he showed some of his own work, he got hired.
He found King’s Terrace and when he saw there was an option to have a roommate he decided he wouldn’t mind living there. He needed a roommate to be able to split the costs and he wasn’t really able to move there and pay rent by himself until he found one. Here he’d be matched to someone, which was a lot easier. He hopes he’ll have someone he can stand rooming with him and if he doesn’t, well, then he’ll just lock himself in his room. He doesn’t really mind. It isn’t as if he’s here to make any friends. He is running away from something, not towards anything. He just wants to earn a living and other than that, he really has no idea what he’s doing with his life. He’ll figure it out… hopefully.
IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH? HOW DOES IT COME IN HANDY?
I can survive. You can drop me anywhere in the world, and I’ll find a way to get food, water and what I need to survive. It’s something all of these city boys ain’t got a clue about.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS? HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOUR DAY-TO-DAY LIFE?
That’s between me and God and it damn sure ain’t none of your business. Drinking, it messed up my marriage but I’m tryin’ to beat it. Maybe I’ll go to AA, I don’t know yet.
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS?
Back in good ole’ Mississippi. I ain’t made to live in a city. Too much concrete and there ain’t enough clean air. I hope to still be practicin’ my craft and maybe even find love again. Maybe there is a city girl out there that ain’t afraid of country livin’.
WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO KING’S TERRACE?
Fit in my budget and wasn’t too far from my new job. That’s all you need to know. I wanted to get away from Goss. Everything reminded me of my Dixie and Magnolia… and everyone looked at me like a failure and I couldn’t stand it anymore. That is why I came here, but I do miss Mississippi.
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF SOMETHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Hold your little girl just a little bit longer.
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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago
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Indie & Rio
Indie: [Sends selfie] Indie: Bangin or clappin? Rio: 😍😍😍 Rio: So peng Rio: Gurl who you fightin?! Indie: Not too extra like? I don't wanna go too hype w my garms Indie: There's a lad at college and he is proper peng no jokes Indie: I helped him fix his wheels now he owes me and tonight I'm collecting Rio: Nah, perfect Rio: effortless babe 🙏 Rio: Ooh, love that for you Rio: Obviously not a dickhead either if he didn't get humpty about you being a grease monkey Rio: Debrief after, like 💋 Indie: Wifey please, didn't give the boy no chances to do anything but moving aside Indie: Innit. The vibe feels good to me I'm about seeing what he's thinking to do tonight Indie: You out? Indie: I'll catch you over the crunchy nut like Rio: That's my baby! 😄😘 Rio: 🍀 Rio: Thinking 'bout linking if he's got eyes boo Rio: Yeah, I'm not home but fosho be back in the AM, I'll bring your faves back Indie: If he only wants to jam that's gonna feel dred after how amped ive got 💔😢 Indie: But I'm have him pegged for a chief tourist if he can't see what he was onto Indie: is it? Bit awkward to bring mckenna over if I've been kicking it all night with some other rudeboy 😂 think on Rio: N'awh baby, I'm sure he's gonna wanna chill too, ignore me, just tryna gas you up, not do the opposite, like! 💔 Rio: Absolutely Rio: 😂 Behave Rio: Whilst we're on the subject though Rio: I don't know how to say this, eurgh, but don't worry, not dying Indie: nahhhh give ME air I'm flatroofin here cos he's not like the hoodies in these endz Indie: And I am 😜 Indie: Girl get your words together Indie: Nothing you can't say to your wifey Rio: I know Rio: Just makes it seem so dramatic, not like I tell you about every hook up but then, not like I have to hide 'em either Rio: Its a bit of a wild one so, you're allowed to freak, yeah? Rio: I've been getting with Buster, for a bit, like Indie: I knew you had a mystery man but these is jokes Indie: You and Mckenna please Indie: always got beef with that boy 😂 Indie: like that can be hot but you two'd straight up merk each other Indie: Who's the lad proper? Rio: I ain't even joking Rio: It's mad, I know Indie: Watch! Are you legit with this 411? Indie: Oh my days Indie: That's so crump fam, nahhh Rio: I thought you'd figured it out, like Indie: How am I gonna be putting my finger on that madness Indie: How long you been linking up? Rio: I know, its fucked up but Rio: its happened, happening, whatever Rio: like 2 years... Indie: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Indie: I thought you were gonna be a month gone Indie: Rio Indie: He's your hubz oh my god Rio: Whoa, nah, it ain't like that Rio: You recall his two baby mamas? Indie: I haven't mashed with the same lad for 2 weeks straight Indie: He's your hubz Indie: You got one you're hiding???? Cos you be telling me tales for 2 years Rio: You trippin' Rio: No, nah, its not like that Rio: I didn't lie Rio: you can see why I didn't tell, can't tell nobody else like but idk, its making me feel insane and I wanted to tell you Indie: Girl please you pushed me over 😂 Indie: Not fit to broadcast Indie: But you could have hit me up with getting that good for 2 years Indie: I've done wilder Rio: Serious? Rio: You not gon' block me 'til I get some sense back? Indie: vexed I can't get my own taste now Indie: But that's not your damage Rio: 🤷 You're still free to try, babe Rio: Thanks for not totally losing it Rio: Had to get it out Indie: I'm not gonna do you like that, we fam Indie: Tell me about the 🎁 cos he's dripping w 💸 Indie: His body be as good as bling tho Rio: 💖 Rio: I told you it ain't like that tho Rio: Probably still gon' get with another rich ass white girl Rio: you still my only bae Rio: [Sends picture of the bracelet] Indie: You been riding him for 2 years Indie: Who else has he ever got with more than a couple of times? Please Indie: 2nd baby mama only lasted ??? weeks Indie: He's your bae Indie: Sick? That's 💰💰 dropped Indie: I'm taxing it Rio: Okay, I do like him Rio: but I'm not telling you like this is an engagement post, let's calm down, yeah? 😂 Rio: Try it, bitch Rio: We might be fam but there will be blood 🥊😉 Indie: I'm seckled, not trying to chat like you want him to put another baby in you Indie: But you're a grimy jokester if you reckon him coming back to roll with you every time is no thing Rio: Another?! Bitch where's my first? Rio: but, he just tried to get back with #2, she said no (duh, so what if he's just...putting up, 'cos he can't get better? Indie: He's got 2 so far is what I was yelling out 😂 Indie: You're the best, wifey 👑🔥🍑 no gas Indie: He can flex but he can't do better Indie: Mckenna ain't that much of a tourist. He knows what he's got Rio: You're such a sweetheart, you know that? 💎 Indie: Trust. He knows how sweet you are. Fuck his babymama who can't even rep the 24, he's on that criss new shit with you Indie: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Indie: Has been since before she rolled in Rio: Fuck it Rio: even if you ain't, you SHOULD be right Rio: not vibing this insecure shit ❌💩🖕 Indie: Yeah Indie: There's no hype Indie: You're one sick bitch Indie: Can I come out with something tho? Rio: Lawd Rio: I'm ready, go for it Indie: It's chill I'm not claiming you 411 about 🍆 measurements reh teh teh Indie: Wondering how you put 2 years in with all those fam functions, innit Rio: It ain't been easy like Rio: but if you gotta, you make it work like Rio: I'm 99% sure no one else knows, like you said, why would you assume that? Its a pretty good cover tbh Indie: I reckon you'd know if anyone did, his mum would invite you over for dins and be like you're going to hell, can you pass the salt tho Rio: 😂 Rio: Don't Rio: drag me there herself, I'm sure Rio: Jesus Indie: least you'd meet him there cos he's no 😇 Indie: oh my dayz have you ridden him with me home? 😂 Rio: Gurl, hush Rio: 👃 Indie: !!!!!!!!!!!!! Indie: Such a yeah Indie: oh man how many times have you fucked him on our sofa and I never knew Rio: Its pretty grotty anyway, babe Rio: I'm not taking all the blame for that one 😜 Indie: bet that's a turn on for him Indie: rich boy Rio: Povvo porn Rio: I hope not, Rio: how fucking insulting, we'd have a real problem then Indie: If he was thinking he was just in it for the slum I'd merk him Indie: Got the advantage cos he don't be knowing I know Indie: It's jokes anyway you make sick 💸 Rio: Better watch his back Rio: I'll not let on you know like 🤐💅 Rio: Yeah, exactly, we moving on up baby gurl! Indie: Naah he's your hubz you'll be chatting all that Indie: screenshooting all my words Rio: Please Rio: I ain't that hoe Rio: #loyal Rio: plus you got it the wrong way 'round, I'm meant to bombard you with all the dumb shit he says like you can do anything about it Indie: 😂 Indie: Bet his drunk dials are madness Rio: 😂 you have no idea Rio: best kept that way, trust Indie: Law it. I can't believe this is how you living Indie: life and wife goals bitch Indie: vexed on my rudeboys behalf that he can't standup to it Indie: Like yeah we gonna roll together but my head be on this like Rio: Glad you think so 😜 Rio: They'll call you an enabler when they're carting me off but you just my hypeman, don't get it twisted lads Rio: I'm soz 💋 Rio: Still gon' have fun, make it happen, boo Indie: not bothered Indie: yeah my night is looking bare hectic still Indie: You seeing your boo? Indie: cos if you're riding w him you best 2s me some deets in the AM Rio: Might do Rio: I'll be sure to let you know once I've heard all of your goss Rio: I'm thinking pancakes, yeah? Indie: could be none 😢 you know Buster ain't no virgin least. I can't speak for my lad Indie: He ain't moist or anything but he's a quiet one. Shy Indie: 😋 Indie: I'm with that plan Rio: Shy is good Rio: Doesn't mean he ain't wid it Rio: I'll let you go and find out if its worth the hype Indie: And I'll let you know Rio: You better Rio: Love you bitch Indie: Love you more wifey Indie: ✌ Rio: 💋
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