#Gosh this is the best thing to see after an 11 hour shift lol

[wizardraziw]

OH MY GOODNESS!!! That's me and that's the Acadamy!!!!! :OOOOOOOO This is so amazing!!!! How talented and kind of you, I am ever grateful :') This has made my day very special. Thank you so, so much!

haven't done any animation practice in a while. this time I was inspired by @wizardraziw's wizard school blog. their lil wizard is perfect for animating and also magic is fun.

[looney-joonie]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @bts-blackpink-bitch about 10 years ago (1 week) and I am finally ready to answer them lol

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Daydreaming about fic possibilities and what I could do with my life if I had the ability to create art.

2. What makes your day better?

Two things: my fiance and laughing.

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

My cat laid on top of me and purred really loud!

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

One that I have yet to put into writing.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

It depends. I’m pretty good at it in general, but each situation is unique and anyone who takes my advice knows that I have a disclaimer stating that I am not responsible for anything that happens if my advice is applied...just as a precaution lol

6. Do you have any mental illness?

No clue.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Yes and it’s terrifying!! I mean, one time I was able to make my head shake, but my fiance ignored my movement because I move in my sleep...so he thought I was asleep...

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I don’t really have just one

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Yes

10. What’s your dream date?

My dream date is my fiance. HAHA! (It’s true..) 😂

But no, my dream date is being picked up at hotel in a big city <me wearing a very nice dress, my date wearing a tux or suit> and us going out for a ‘night on the town’. We would dine at a 5-star restaurant and then walk around downtown until we came to a romantic place. My date would then ask me to dance even there’s no music because ‘the music is in our hearts'. And then he would take me back to my room and leave me at the door with a searing kiss.

*sigh* I love my fiance, but he would ruin my dream date because he can’t keep a beat to save his life. I’m sure he’d be able to make up for it somehow 😂

11. What do others notice about you?

They tend to notice I have a huge ass. They never really mention anything else that they notice...IF they notice anything else.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

UM - ALL OF THEM?? I mean, I have so many that it’s hard to name them. Just ask the people around me and they’ll make long lists without saying the same thing as the other. #iannoyeveryone

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No, but that’s a good thing.

14. How many exes do you have?

Five...and yet, they never took me on a date. #losers😒

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

My largest one has over 600 songs on it...so many genres, so little time.

16. What instruments can you play?

I played the clarinet when I was in high school and the piano before that.

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Blurry shit because my phone screen gets turned on and then I’m too lazy to delete the pictures. 😬

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

I’m not sure. I’ve always loved traveling, but have never been super passionate about just one place?

19. What is your zodiac?

Gemini

20. Do you relate to it?

Yup. I’m #twinning everyday.

21. What is happiness to you?

Happiness to me is being able to toss away all of my negative thoughts, just for a moment, and focus on something beautiful. It could be the feel of a cool breeze on a warm day. The fluffy white clouds against a light blue sky or speaking the compliments I think instead of just keeping them so myself. 

Happiness is something you continuously work towards...and sometimes you have to accept that being content in the moment is the best you’ll get for now. I purposely stop to ‘smell the roses’ and enjoy the little things because everything I know and love is in a balanced state. I want to enjoy the moments I have now so that, when things have shifted and there’s the sense of unbalance, I can look back and draw on those moments. Those little moments are so important to be able to recall so that you can continue to work towards happiness in times of sadness. (Sorry for the mini...rant?)

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Yes. I won’t get too detailed, but back in February I went on emergency hiatus because my dad has CIDP (emergency hiatus post here). He hasn’t had a treatment since February, so his ability to walk and do other things has gradually become much worse. It’s not something that many people have to live with for a long time...which is why I had my happiness rant above. Plus I’ve been trying to get a better job since I graduated from college in December 2018, but practically nobody is hiring. So that’s great.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

There really is no ‘worst decision’ for me. I am who I am today because of all the decisions I have made both good and bad. So, for me to point out my ‘worst decision’ would be to say I have regrets. Which I don’t because I don’t have time for ‘what ifs’ and regrets. I only have time for helping myself and others to better themselves.

24. What’s your favorite store?

Gift shops.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I strongly believe in keeping my political opinions to myself.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Mentally, yeah. But I’m forgetful, so it’s ever-changing.

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Yes. Comedown Machine by The Strokes. I bought it because it looked cool and I love every single song.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

I really want to have a full-time job! I also want these BTS Hanahaki Series pins by Wiblash on Instagram!!

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

People think that I cower at anyone who seems to be an authoritative figure as well as be a ‘yes-man’

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Everyone has thought I look like I’m either younger or WAY older than I actually am. Everyone also assumes I have kids. And I mean EVERYONE. 😠

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

On my nightstand to prevent an accidental fire.

32. What word do you say the most?

I say um, well, and like a lot because they make it easier to drag my sentences out when I lose my train of thought.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

It’s kind of..besides the point now that I’m getting married, but at one point I ‘dated’ a guy who was almost 10 years older than me. I DODGED A BULLET WITH THAT GUY!! With my experience, I probably wouldn’t pick someone more than 5 years older than me.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I’ve always liked my guys to be slightly younger than me ( my fiance is about 9 months younger than me) and all my exs except the one mentioned in the above question were either the same age as me or a little younger. I wouldn’t date anyone born after 2000. Still doesn’t matter much since I’m getting married.😂

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Retail. But that’s only because I’ve been in customer service so long that I have a lot of mannerisms that I have accidentally brought over into my personal life.

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

I don’t have one.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

TL;DWR - Too Long; Don’t Wanna Research.

38. What is your current favorite song?

Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard

39. How long have you had this blog for?

01/07/2019 1:55:37 AM (thanks @memories)

40. What are you excited for?

The BTS concert on May 12th!!!! And for my ATEEZ project 'When Life Gives You Lemonade' teaser to be revealed on May 15th!!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Both. Once I’m started, I can talk for hours, but I love listening to people talk too soooooo...

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

AHGJDSAKLGHJA UHHH, WORK ON MY ATEEZ PROJECT!

43. What do you want for Christmas?

DLCs for some software that I have.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Um...College Algebra and English were my best subjects.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

About a 9.8?

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

I can see myself being an author and a mom. 😊

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

First grade when I...liked this boy so much that I would kiss his cheek at least once every time we had gym class. Then he changed schools... (I found out later that it wasn’t my fault and that he had a slight crush on me then)

48. What age do you want to get married?

23. My wedding is planned for right before my 28th birthday, so ya’ll see how well that panned out.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Author!!!

50. What do you crave right now?

MORE TIME TO WORK ON MY ATEEZ PROJECT!!!!!! Gosh...there’s just not enough time in the day..............................................😑

I’m tagging @angstchim @ughdesighhns @parkseonghwa @gothicmingi @requestfairy @mhysaunburnt @yurakwonhoseok @today-we-will-survive @supersailorjoonie once again! If ya’ll get tired of it, let me knowwwwwww......😅

[exscurus]

DO EM ALL! DO EM ALL

get to know me, i guess? | @letaunloved​

oh gOSH YOU,,, OKAY I’LL DO EM ALL BUT DANG

1. the meaning behind my url

To be honest, the meaning behind my url is layered. A big part is the “ex” at the beginning. Exscurus embodies my hopes for Credence in a way. I want him to be able to put being an obscurus behind him. I want him to be able to heal to the point that being fragmented, so fragmented that it threatens his life and in a sense traps him in fear and unhappiness, is no longer necessary for him to survive. So in essence, I want him to find acceptance. I want him to find love so he’s an ex obscurus. Dumbledore has implied that’s possible and I want it to happen more than anything. I went through a lot of url ideas before I found one that both sounded cool to me and actually had a lot of meaning to me, and I feel like this one really hits the nail on the head.

2. a picture of me

Please forgive my face but boy do I love a good suit…

3. tattoos i have

Shamefully? No tattoos. Not yet, at least. I’m working on that, though

4. last time i cried and why

Oh, god. I think the last time I cried was at work on Friday. So I work in a gas station that also has a kitchen (thankfully I’m a cashier, I can’t handle kitchen work with my anxiety), and we’ve been having some extremely serious staffing issues recently. On Thursday, the team lead (who admittedly never does her job to the fullest capacity, and most of the time doesn’t do it at all) straight up didn’t come in - didn’t call, and didn’t bother showing up. So that night I spent the entire shift running registers essentially by myself while the two kitchen workers took turns occasionally popping out of the kitchen to help me out. That’s fine, I can survive that.On Friday it was way worse than that, though. That same lead had the nerve to actually bother to call off that day, and then because when we’d gotten off work in the morning the managers had said something about us not doing enough, another coworker called off because she was upset. (How the hell could we do more when there were only three of us??) Then, my third coworker stayed for only three hours of the shift and left. The help who stayed past her shift left maybe thirty minutes later.I ended up completely alone for four hours and I had to turn people away from our kitchen because I couldn’t run registers and kitchen at the same time. A few people got angry because I haven’t been trained to give refunds for online orders, either, so when those went through despite everything else in the kitchen being shut down, that was also a nightmare. Oh and someone came in with what the security guard was 99% sure was a gun and asked for one of my coworkers and left when he found out he wasn’t there. Overall that night was horrific and I cried like three times.

5. piercings i have

I have the tops of my ears pierced. I think that’s my only piercing now, honestly, though I used to have a septum piercing and I very briefly had my tongue pierced - though fun fact that one almost killed me.

6. favorite band

Hands down Panic! at the Disco. I’m actually going to a concert on the 30th in Cleveland, OH with one of my best friends. I am ready to ruin my throat scream singing.

7. biggest turn off(s)

Uhhh. Belly buttons. Do not touch me there. Don’t. Doooon’t. Don’t ask me to touch you there. Do not. I am absolutely repulsed by every form of belly button there is out there. I don’t know why but I just… No. No no no. I’m also much more mildly turned off by anatomy mistakes people make with me because I’m trans.

8. top 5 books

Harry Potter (obviously), Eragon, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Inkheart, Chronicles of Narnia

9. tattoos i want

I’m getting this soon, but! I’m getting a tattoo of Panic! lyrics from the newest album on my hip along with the album symbol underneath. This tattoo may be one of like two that I really want that’ll have some pretty deep emotional significance beyond “wow lol this is cool”. The lyrics are “Mama said don’t give up, it’s a little complicated.”

10. biggest turn on(s)

To be completely honest, there’s a lot of little things that get to me. I’m weak in general to attractive people and even more weak when it comes to attractive men because I have… a preference, but. People with intense looks. Really beautiful eyes. People who are incredibly tactile in a casual setting but don’t make me uncomfortable with it. I’m trying to stay safe for work here ahaha.

11. age

I’m 23, but I’ll be 24 in March.

12. ideas of a perfect date

My favorite date idea that I’ve never had a chance to put into practice is…Going out together to the downtown area of a city where there’s a lot of things to do and a lot of restaurants and just going on an adventure. Stopping in little shops that look interesting and when we get hungry stopping in a little hole in the wall restaurant neither of us has heard of or been to before. New experiences and new memories with a person I like just sounds…  Great? But I’m a huge romantic, so.

13. life goal(s)

I want to be a childhood therapist or maybe a social worker. I want to make sure children don’t grow up the way I did, or at the very least have the support they need to grow up and feel like they have the tools to survive after everything’s already been said and done. I also want a house of my own - maybe a tree house? A super functional tree house full of lots of fantasy books. Also with internet and video games. And someone who loves me.

14. piercings i want

I want dermal hip piercings. I have. A thing for hips.

15. relationship status

Single. My last relationship was kind of garbage and it put me in a position for a long time where I was not emotionally healthy enough to enter into a new one. I feel like I’m okay now, but. I don’t want to rush things.

16. favorite movie

Anastasia (1997)

17. a fact about my life

I have lived in a total of seven states in my entire life. Five of those I’ve moved around to and from since I turned eighteen. I moved around a lot when I first moved out on my own.

18. phobia

Nyctophobia. I’m afraid of the dark. Deathly afraid of the dark. I don’t like not being able to see. Though if I were to go into more depth, It’s more.. Scotomaphobia, which is a fear of going blind or visual disturbances in field of view. I have full blown panic attacks when I’m unable to see, and because I’m night-blind, I can’t see in the dark. I have really terrible vision and I’m really afraid of it escalating to a point where I can’t see because the majority of the things I enjoy in life rely on my vision.

19. middle name

Tracey. Y’all don’t even know my first name but there’s that. Ya boi’s middle name.

20. anything you want to ask

I did them all and I feel like a windbag but afkhdsgdjh AAAAAA

[survivor-mountmerapi]

Ep. 11: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” - DeNara

Madi

omfg instant tribal -> ginny gone:( it was sad bc she cried and I rly rly like her as a person but she is just too messy to play with raffy out next? lets see if I can finesse that.... also, THE ONE NAME IS GET IN TOUCHY TOPICS IS WHO IS PLAYING MORE THAN YOU THINK?????? sounds like me

DeNara

Oh my goodness, I am glad I had immunity for that tribal. It was pretty clear cut it was going to be Ginny but still sad to see Ginny go. Now that Julia and Ginny are gone, I am excited and nervous to see what is coming next. I have no idea who will be going next. Also, I love that I was voted more trust worthy, but being voted most likely to flip on their alliance is a big oof and puts a big target on me.

Raffy

DeNara, Steven, and I hopped on a call after that emotional tribal council. We've come to the conclusion that a newbie needs to go in this next tribal council or it's going to be a mess. The newbie we have decided on is... Madi. Yes. We do plan to betray one of our closest allies at the moment. She's been playing an excellent game and she needs to be voted out sooner rather than later. Additionally, she is the one we suspect of having the idol. So, this needs to be a complete and utter blindside. For now, the plan is to tell Madi and Gian to target Rachel. Then, we get Elle to vote with us to target Madi. That would make the vote 4-3-1 which would lead to Madi being voted out. This plan has a lot of risk, but i's not Survivor if it isn't risky.

DeNara

Okay so here is how things would go down if I had my way right now (even though I know that is unlikely). I would love to start by flipping on my alliance of 5 and working with Elle, Steven and Raffy to get Madi out and then Gian since they are the biggest newbie threats. After that I would then flip with the girls (and hopefully Steven) to get Raffy out of the game. That would leave Steven, Elle, Rachel, Anastasia, and myself in the game. Since Rachel has a relationship with Anastasia I would take her out next, leaving Steven, Elle, Anastasia, and myself in the game. I would then hopefully go to the end with 2 of those three. I feel like because I get along best with Steven and Elle right now I would like them to be in the final three with me even if I lose. My biggest concern right now is if Raffy is playing me since I got voted "most likely to flip on my alliance". So Raffy is someone I am paying close attention too.

Elle

Im kinda sad to see Ginny go :( But hey! Final 8✨ [I sent this to DeNara and then VL already but it works as a confessional and I only have so many things to say lol]

Well it's nice to know no one on my tribe's rooting for me 😂😂😂 lol my wins in the touchy subjects basically told this story: "she's honest, someone people can really root for, too bad she's never gonna win" which tbh im okay with 😅 my only goal starting this game was to make it to merge and then it was to avenge James so if i make it to F3 just to lose I'll be doing WAY better than i planned 💖 And honestly at least ppl don't think I'm a villain 😅 it's funny that Raffy got villain and I got hero since we're super close in this game (I feel the need to add 'I think' here lol)

Raffy

I want either Elle or myself to win. If Elle wins, that forces Gian and Madi to target Rachel this round which would go perfectly with the plan I've laid out. If I win, I can fully go for this plan without any hesitation. That's why I am going all out for this challenge. I apologize in advance to Jay who will have to go through all the submissions, but I have to do what I gotta do considering I cannot go outside due to a snowstorm.

Rachel

Man, this is such a tough game. The immunity challenge was hard, but i think as long as our majority newbies stick together, we will have control over the vote and who goes home. i'm glad to see elle won though! she is a great competitor. i still love that i got most honest and most likely to lie. i guess it shows how crazy of a game i'm playing socially

Gian

OK, so in order for this Raffy blindside to work PERFECTLY. He can’t catch wind of this plan because he’ll play his safety without power, which is a huge no no. We’ll be able to pull in Elle for this. If that happens, we fear DeNara might be a bad back up bc she’ll have something OR Elle won’t vote with us. So in this scenario of options, Steven is a great back up option.  This works to my advantage because that means if for some reason, my alliance tries to retaliate against me, Steven won’t be here for numbers.

Elle

I won immunity again 😅 ugh in hindsight I regret it. I wasn't really thinking gameplay-wise, more just "I have been given a challenge, time to go ham" 🔥🔥🔥  I should've maybe talked to my alliance abt it, though 😭. I might give Raffy my immunity?? idk I'm worried about tonight. 😅I'm just gonna trust Raffy's plan, but I am stressed✨I think I'm realizing for the first time kinda that I'm pretty far in the game and I don't wanna lose now 😂

Anastasia

So I just made an alliance with DeNara and Steven and my newbies alliance is wanting DeNara out. Our main target is Raffy but if Raffy plays an idol we will try to split the vote to DeNara which wouldn't be good for me if DeNara went home. I need the newbies and DeNara to fight so the attention is off of me. So I want her here. Hopefully Raffy will just not have an idol for one second

Raffy

I've confirmed the plan with Elle to take out Madi. The Wild Faes alliance (Elle, Steven, DeNara, and I) are fully down to take out a newbie this round. That newbie will be Madi if all goes well. Madi and Gian seem to believe that the vote will be Rachel tonight. They confirmed it in the alliance chat. Additionally, they told me that Rachel wanted to target Steven this round. I believe that Steven is a bigger shield for me than I am for him. It has always been his name thrown out than mine since merge began. Last night, I confirmed a Final 2 deal with Steven. It is my belief that I do not have a shot if Steven isn't there so they cannot use the excuse of "well, he already won before." We discussed that, ideally, Anastasia would be our third in the Final 3. This is because Anastasia is the biggest goat around while Elle/DeNara could make a really strong case for themselves. Finally, Elle offered to give me her immunity necklace tonight, but I had to decline. If that happened, that would make Madi and Gian shift their gears to Elle which wouldn't work for the plan. Additionally, it would let them know something is up which we do not want.

DeNara

Well....it is going down. Raffy, Steven, Elle and I are targeting Madi and Madi, Gian, Rachel and Anastasia are targeting Raffy. It could potentially be a show down tonight. I don't think I will flip though, I think it would be bad for my game. I need to get some newbies out before I flip on Raffy.

Madi

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VhQNVbLwBcJlyYbIElS9iQ_ZW99uWw76/view?usp=drivesdk

Raffy

Elle told me earlier that Madi had came to her with a plan to vote me out this round. Elle declined it with a little aid from me, and Madi seemed to have backed off. It seems like the smart play to get rid of her now. I am just going to continue acting dumb to them and keep preaching Rachel. Hopefully, with Elle's rejection, Madi will decide to not go for me this round and bide her time a little longer.

Steven

https://youtu.be/ZjewoAwraOM

DeNara

I am getting nervous for tribal tonight. I hope we don't go to rocks, that would suck a lot. Rachel is saying she wants to vote for Steven, so idk if I should play into that or just flat out turn it down. I don't want Madi to get suspicious of us turning on her and Gian.

DeNara

What the heck!?!?!? It is an hour before tribal and we are stressed af. Anastasia wanted to get Raffy out and I had to convince her not to vote that way and to vote for Rachel.

Raffy

This tribal has just became a giant mess. So, Gian and Madi were fully comfortable trying to 4-4 tie it between me and someone else. Meanwhile, DeNara got tea from Anastasia and has "exposed" Gian/Madi to her. Now, Anastasia wants to flip and vote out Rachel. But, the Faes alliance has decided not to tell Anastasia the actual vote is Madi. And I want to use my SWP because now is the time to use it since Anastasia confirmed it's between me or DeNara for the newbies so Steven would be safe in that scenario. So, if everything works out, it should be a 3-3-1 vote with me not voting between Madi, DeNara, and Rachel. In that case, we get Anastasia to vote for Madi under the pretense that we just couldn't trust her yet but now we do. Apparently, Madi doesn't like DeNara and Gian doesn't like one of Steven or I. That's kind of sad cause I like them, but whatever. And if DeNara does end up the vote because Madi uses an idol, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make because Anastasia says she wants to flip so in the process of all this I gain a number and have a 4-3 majority next round guaranteed. Wish me luck y'all

DeNara

oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!!!!!! Raffy is using his safety without power tonight so that means that  Madi, Rachel and Gian are going to write my name and Elle, Steven and I are going to vote for Madi. Which leaves Anastasia as the swing vote to vote off either myself or Madi. I don't know if I have a close enough relationship with Anastasia for her to vote Madi. So I may be going home tonight!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

My only hope is to come clean to Anastasia about the plan and pray she votes for Madi instead of me. It may be my funeral tonight :'(

Elle

OKAY. So we think Anastasia is going to vote Rachel with us except we're not going to vote Rachel we're going to vote Madi and I'm going to give Raffy my immunity necklace so that at worst its a tie and then we use Raf's bargaining chip to Rach or anastasia before we go to rocks. Cool writing this JUST before tribal

DeNara

I may have screwed myself over tonight.  I told Anastasia we were voting Madi so if she told Madi then I could be going home and it would be my own fault.

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Reputation: I have a lot of emotions

Alright so the Saturday after Reputation came out, I bought the album on itunes because I loved the singles and because @itspileofgoodthings and @thelonelybrilliance have long been winning me over to Taylor Swift.  I spent the next two or three hours listening to the album, and Emma was amazing and listened to me freaking out.  However, I can’t not share my initial reactions with Maria, so girl, this transcript of my reactions is dedicated to you and Emma and I hope you enjoy!

1.  “Ready for It”

I wasn’t expecting Ready for It to be the first song but the name fits and honestly it is a GREAT choice because it has the cool intense intro thing idk what is that called a bass thing?  It is a great mix of the intensity and also the sweet breathless flowing faery melody

I don’t know how to talk about music

I just love it

2.  “End Game”

End Game isn’t my fave but I liked it “I wanna be your a-team” :) and the friendship between ed and taylor is sweet

3.  “I Did Something Bad”:

HOLY HECK  I LOVE I DID SOMETHING BAD WHAT NOW THE SOUND My JAM

I LOVE IT I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY IT’S DELIGHTFUL AND LIKE I KNOW IT’S OVER THE TOP KINDA BUT THAT MAKES IT AMAZING “I DON’T REGRET IT ONE BIT BECAUSE HE HAD IT COMING AND I’D DO IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN” I LOVE THAT PART AND HOW IT DESCENDS AND DEEPENS

MAYBE SHE IS A WITCH AND MAYBE SHE ISN’T BUT HECK SIGN HER UP FOR THE BURNING

And my fave is that this is the same singer who in a few songs sings “Call It What You Want”

4.  “Don’t Blame Me”

It’s like the classic lady killer in love trope but reversed.  And I swear there are fictional characters out there I can connect this to but I have to think

OMG IT’S SO CATCHY AND I AM EVEN OK WITH HER SAYING I’M YOUR BABY EVEN THOUGH I USUALLY CAN’T STAND THAT TERM USED ROMANTICALLY

5.  “Delicate”

Delicate is so aptly named it is so tentative and fragile and that frightened feeling of “I think this is love?? Would you hate me if I told you that?”

6.  “Look What You Made Me Do”

I. LOVE. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.  Despite the chorus, which is kind of bland and repetitive but the rest of the song is so freaking awesome like I don’t even care and I even sing along enthusiastically to it and maybe have started to appreciate it (the chorus).  

The song has the same delicious musical vibe as I did something bad.  It’s: don’t mess with me anymore, I am so done with y’all, I don’t even care anymore, I’m the nightmare now......except secretly underneath you know there IS caring for other people’s opinions and yearning to love and be loved and that makes it even better??

7.  “So It Goes”

I love the first verse best, the magician , the mesmerizing, the dark enchantment...and I say dark because I don’t know how I feel about the rest of the lyrics...but the SOUND is amazing and I am totally already making up a story in my head to reconcile my conflicted feelings because the music here and taylor’s voice and the whispered 1, 2, 3 have entranced me--like magic

8.  “Gorgeous”

Gorgeous....GORGEOUS!  WHISKEY ON ICE, SUNSET AND VINE, WHAT BEAUTIFUL EVOCATIVE IMAGERY!!!

I love Emma’s connection with her story Match, but also...don’t laugh too much...you know how I love Dick Grayson, and I feel this is literally how I would feel if I were in the same room with him.  Overwhelmed by his stupid pretty face and unable to function properly let alone say hello

Gorgeous is THE unexpected crush song, the oh my gosh I just met a masterpiece, the I don’t believe in love at first sight I mean I thought I didn’t, the I would literally die if you looked me in the eye because that would be a fairytale and if we actually fell in love I don’t know what I would do

THAT RING OF THE SPOON ON THE CHAMPAGNE GLASS (IN MY HEAD AT LEAST) IS A MAGICAL FAIRY BELL, OR MAYBE A FAIRY’S LAUGHTER, OR THE HERALD OF WEDDING RECEPTIONS AND CALLS FOR THE BRIDE AND GROOM TO KISS

IT’S THE IMAGINATION AND THE BIRTH OF CRAZY BEAUTIFUL HOPES

9.  “Getaway Car”

Did Taylor just riff off of A Tale of Two Cities??? And run with it?  I STRUCK A MATCH AND BLEW YOUR MIND

I CANNOT WITH THIS SONG UGH MY HEART this song is BEAUTIFUL and TRAGIC

It’s a love brilliant and glorious like a sun flare, its a desperate wish for something better than the stupid mistakes of the past and bitter fights and broken hearts

Like here she has met this wonderful nigh perfect man who is just as in love and ready as she is to jump in that car and leave the world and everything awful behind but which is more important the devastation they are fleeing from or the vision they dream of?

And whatever the answer to that is, it doesn’t matter because the future they hoped for in their hearts could be nothing more than an wish, a mirage, because as wonderful as both of them are, they are just not fated for each other, they just won’t love each other like they want to

And SHE LEFT HIM AND CALLS HERSELF A TRAITOR AND FEELS SHE DESERVES WHAT SHE GETS FOR THAT--THAT SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, THAT SHE FIRED

BUT IT ALSO HAD TO HAPPEN

AND IT IS THIS TANGLE OF VINES OF MISERY AND BEAUTY AND GRACE...YES GRACE BECAUSE AS MUCH AS THIS ALL MAKES ME WANT TO CRY THERE IS STILL A FEELING THAT DESPITE THE GRIEF AND HURT THIS ISN’T LIKE OTHER TIMES WHEN SHE HAS BROKEN UP WITH SOMEONE

BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT SO MUCH WRONG FOR EACH OTHER AS JUST NOT RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER

AND SO WHILE THE HURT IS SHARP IT IS NOT SO DEADLY TO LOVE IN GENERAL

Okay I have listened to it four times I need to move on

10.  “King of My Heart”

Ok maybe it’s just because I am coming down from Getaway Car but I am not as into King of My Heart at least music-wise.  The lyrics are sweet and precious though, just the sound doesn’t capture me like the rest of the rest of the songs

The term “King of My Heart” is a really beautiful term, styling the man as someone who not only has her love but also her respect...this is someone who does not need to impress her with fancy cars, he just needs to be him

My fave lyric: “Late in the night, the city’s asleep / Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, / dying to keep”

And you can just imagine sitting on a rooftop far far above the distant city lights, with the faint hum of traffic, and no one knows that your world has shifted and broken and been shaped into something new, and so you nestle the gift of his love in your heart and just wonder how in the world any of this is real

11.  “Dancing with Our Hands Tied”

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED HURTS MY HEART.  IT HURTS BECAUSE IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE A DOOMED LOVE AND SHE TRIED SO HARD TO IGNORE THE FORESIGHT SHE HAD

And she tried so hard to hold on

“My, my love had been frozen Deep blue, but you painted me golden Oh, and you held me close Oh, how was I to know what”

THIS.  THIS HURTS

Because it’s like he tried and it seemed like things could be good and beautiful, and there might be a chance for it all to work out, but it’s telling that he wasn’t able to change her, to unfreeze her love.  He only painted over it...gold yes, but paint nonetheless

Her certainty, “I knew” and then the telling truth “I had a bad feeling.”  Some things are too good to be true, too sweet to last when the bitter, callous, selfish world wants what it wants

“Can we dance / oh, through an avalanche” like what an impossible task, what a beautiful wish.  A love like that...would be everything.  Withstanding all the world together, no matter the wounds and hurt, picking each other up and moving on after every hit.  And it doesn’t seem to have worked out this time?  But maybe it will

12.  “Dress”

AAAAHHHHH DRESS IS REALLY PRETTY SOUNDING AND I LIKE CERTAIN OF THE LYRICS BUT UH I JUST CAN’T IT’S TOO MUCH

Slow down, girl :)  but also some of it is really cute.  I could maybe handle it better if she didn’t say she didn’t want him like a best friend because I need it to be both..ah well

On the other hand I love the lyrics to the verse about the flash back, and the lines “Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me” and they do expound upon friendship and love and make the Eros more palatable

13.  “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i LOVE THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS IT’S SO FUNNY

It moves past bitterness and is just like LOL yeah I’m not dealing with you, peace out, bye

*full out cackle* I CAN’T EVEN SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE I’M DYING

And it’s almost like she is talking to a little kid at one point.  Look, son, you break stuff I gotta take it away, when will you learn

I NEED VIDEOS TO LIKE FIFTY TV SHOWS FOR THIS I CAN’T

14.  “Call It What You Want”

AND NOW WE MOVE ON TO MY FAVE.  CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT!  EVERYTHING IS HEALED!!!

After the ups and downs of the album, of life...everything still matters, still happened, previous loves and previous heart-wounds and previous sins but also none of it threatens her life anymore, her heart

“My castle crumbled overnight I brought a knife to a gunfight They took the crown but it’s alright All the liars are calling me one Nobody’s heard from me for months I’m doing better than I ever was”

THE MOST BRILLIANT JUXTAPOSITION

The songs begins with her home, her dreams destroyed, with her bad decisions open for the world to mock, with her crown kicked down a hill by detractors and fools and the wisest alike

But she says it is alright.  It’s okay.  And we wonder why?

People call her a liar, say she is fake, say whatever they think or want.  Maybe she is gone forever--who has seen Taylor at all, let alone knows who she really even is at this point...

And so we all think, maybe this is it.  Maybe Taylor is dead.

BUT ACTUALLY

SHE IS BETTER THAN SHE EVER WAS!!!!

the old Taylor is dead? I THINK NOT

She has merely walked (flown) down the path we all must take, and maybe she has stepped on more thorns or fallen to the dirt more often, maybe she has scraped knees and heart-blood seeping through her white sweaters, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t found a life she happy to live, things worth fighting for, someone who will fight for her...someone who she doesn’t need to fight, only cherish

And so she can sing whatever the hell she wants, “I Did Something Bad” or “Getaway Car” or “Look What You Made Me Do” or “Gorgeous”

It’s ALL Taylor

..........................when the heck did I come to care so much

“My baby’s fit like a daydream” lol this is so cute and she seems so proud of that and it’s adorable

“Walking with his head down I’’m the one he’s walking to” I CANNOT!!! HE DOESN’T SEE HER WATCHING HIM BUT HE JUST WALKS TOWARD HER, SO FOCUSED, PROBABLY CAUGHT UP IN HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER, OR MAYBE THINKING OF NOTHING IMPORTANT BUT SHE JUST LOVES HIM SO MUCH AND IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE DOING SOMETHING INSIGNIFICANT, LIKE YOUR MOM COOKING DINNER OR YOUR BROTHER BENT OVER HIS HOMEWORK AND YOU JUST GO “I FREAKING LOVE THIS PERSON”

My fave verse: “All my flowers grew back as thorns Windows boarded up after the storm He built a fire just to keep me warm”

HE JUST QUIETLY LOVES HER JUST SEES HER THORNS AND IS LIKE THAT’S NICE AND PRESSES HER PETALS AND POINTS ALIKE INTO HIS HEART AND HE KNOCKS ON HER SHUTTERS TILL SHE OPENS THEM

Also OMG remember how in Dancing with Our Hands Tied her love was frozen?  HE DOESN’T PAINT HER TO LOOK BRIGHTER AND WARMER NO HE FREAKING BUILDS A FIRE TO WARM HER

“All the drama queens taking swings All the jokers dressing up as kings” THERE IS ONLY ONE KING OF HER HEART

“They fade to nothing when I look at  him And I know I make the same mistakes every time Bridges burn, I never learn At least I did one thing right I did one thing right” ASDFGHJKL THE QUIET PEACE THAT COMES FROM THIS

“I’m laughing with my lover Making forts under the covers Trust him like a brother”

This is not a love so passionate that it shatters like stressed glass.  no, it is a love warm and intense and real and giving and receiving and thoughtful and playful

TRUST HIM LIKE A BROTHER GOSH THERE IS NO LINE I LOVE MORE.  IF YOU CANNOT TRUST YOUR MAN LIKE YOU DO YOUR BRO, TO CARE FOR YOU AND BACK YOU UP AND FIGHT FOR YOU AND TELL YOU WHEN YOU ARE BEING STUPID AND FORGIVE YOU AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND ALL THAT

THEN WHAT ARE YOU

IF YOU CAN’T JOKE AS MUCH OR BE AS DEADLY SERIOUS AS YOU CAN WITH A BROTHER

THEN WE JUST CAN’T BE A THING

“I recall late November, holding my breath Slowly I said, ‘You don’t need to save me But would you run away with me?’ Yes (would you run away?)

YESSSSSS LOVE LOVE LOVE IT DO IT TAY RUN AWAY WITH THIS GUY

15.  “New Year’s Day”

GENTLE AND ALL THE LOVE AND FLUTTERING FEELING OF A BELOVED HAND SQUEEZING YOURS THREE! TIMES IN A TAXI

“Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor” anyone who doubts Taylor’s poetic abilities can shut the heck up thanks

“Don’t read teh last page But I stay when you’re lost, and I’m  scared And you’re turning away” So hopeful and so nervous at the same time

“Please don’t ever become a  stranger Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” AAAAHHHHH RIGHT IN THE FEELS I AM DEAD

[sunnysidewrites]

Lawyer!Woozi

Requested by anon: Woozi for lawyer!au Hehe thanks! 

This was one of the more popular choices when yall voted! I was sure that woozi aus weren’t that popular but my street musician au blew up?? as did this au when people voted??? ever since i made this blog you guys have never ceased to amaze me I LOVE YOU ALL!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS PIECE FROM YOUR FAV MOM!!!

warnings: a Manly Jihoon that turns into a Blushy Jihoon with bad jokes

Ok yall im in mock trial so this is some real legit stuffz but i don’t know everything so it’s obviously not completely accurate!

This au got quite a lot of votes, a lot more than i expected

Here we will explore the concept of Manly Jihoon

Let’s get moving!!!!!

You’ve been in your current law firm for a few years now

You ain’t even an attorney you just file papers rip

You’re like i am s O D ON E with this job hahahah :)))))

Your office job is like the typical ones you hear about that make you wanna yawn bc they’re just sO B OR I N G

#savereader2k17

Additionally to your office job, you’re also lowkey a personal assistant for the one and only,,,,,,

You guessed it

Lee Jihoon

The bEST of the best attorneys ever to exist, at least for the defense

We’re talking about high-scale crimes that you would only imagine happening, like big scandalous murder cases in mystery novels and movies

And he always,,,,, aLW A YZZ,,,, wins the case no joke

The last case he worked on took literally months and the trial for it w A S O IN TE N S E HOLY CRAP

You: wow i would so not wanna be that witness on the stand rn

The guy spits out objections left and right and usually the opposing attorney would be almost up to par on his level but we all know jihoon is gonna miss u with that bs

He indirectly tore apart the attorneys on tOP OF SHREDDING APART THE WITNESSES W O W

Bc of this you know exactly how intense and firm jihoon is when it comes to his work

The day he asked you to be his personal assistant may or may not have made you wanna pee in your pants

The most intimidating guy just asked you to be around him more often than you were supposed to, which is never???? um u have an office job????

“Look you seem to be the most trustworthy person here. Like i don’t even trust soonyoung and he’s my fellow coworker for this case” yes it’s bc he trusts you nOT liKE He hAS A CR us H On yO U NO OFC NO T

“hE Y I HE A RD THAT”

“See what i mean??? Always eavesdropping smh”

#letsoonyounglive2k17

Soonyoung: ok,,, if that’s how you wanna play jihoon,,,, you think you’re such a hOtShOt,,,,,,

You: jihoon wheRE DID THAT GUITAR CO M E FROM WE ARE AT A LAW FIRM

Since he’s perfectly aware he’s asking you to do something out of your way that is not part of your job he is willing to actually pay you

You’re lowkey thinking about just being his assistant bc the pay he gives you is lowkey higher than your actual salary rIP IM SORRY READER YOU DESERVE BETTER

For the most part you fetch him his daily coffee and help him file more papers jesus

But this guy is busy 25/8 so you’re on your feet a l o t

“y/n where’s the file i told you to create for brian?”

“y/n can you hand me the case book”

“File this in with the evidence”

“Take a look at the errata and cross these sections out”

You are doing a lot of the tiny things jihoon just doesn’t have time to other than the bulk of the case

You’re like oh de ar,,,, this is my office job 2.0 but i’m moving around more

You’re a little overwhelmed bc you’re experiencing firsthand how serious jihoon’s job is and it isn’t just about objecting to the opposing side

Figuring out how to word your questions so you don’t get objected to is by far the hardest part

Sometimes he would even ask you for advice just for some insight from an outside party

You don’t know every single thing about the law so he explains some of it to you but he’s actually like o H My gOD THEY’RE SO CUTE

“Jihoon what does hearsay mean?”

Jihoon: *combusts* “lol well it’s pretty simple,,,,”

When you’re too busy filing papers and doing other tasks, you are completely oblivious to the little glances he spares your wa Y JESUS

He would be like o m g how does one make crossing things out look sO G O OD

You look up and he pretends he’s reading the case book i fucken see u jihoon

But you don’t and you just resume your work

The biggest case he’s ever worked on is gonna be put to the test

The trial for it is the next day and jihoon is usually the epitome of calm and collected

But when you show up to his office with his coffee he doesn’t even notice you coming in and is running back and forth

“Jihoon??? I have your coffee if you,, still want it,,, you look a lil busy”

“Oh y/n thank you just set it down over there on the table”

As you put it down on his desk you glance around the room and it looks like a tornado came in and turned the room upside down

You don’t wanna pry and be in his way but you’re also like where is the relaxed jihoon from yesterday????

You’re like um,,, is,,, is everything ok??

And he stops for a second to catch his breath and you’re like pL S DON’T YELL AT ME

Shockingly he just sighs

“I reread the case book last night and i caught something pretty strange,,,, and i’ve been trying to dig up more about it in the other witnesses’ testimonies to find anything that slipped”

You’re like oh jesus that sounds stressful but i will be here to help you!!11!!

jihoon is trying to keep his fanboy in check but hOW CAN HE IF YOU’RE BEING THIS CUTE

“Ah..haha… that’s very considerate of you. Actually,,, maybe you can help me”

You’re liKE WHAT OMG THE LEGENDARY JIHOON IS ASKING ME,,,, A NOBODY WITH AN OFFICE JOB,,,, FOR HELP?????

You must have been gawking at him with your mouth open bc he’s like is it that shocking i need help

You shake your head “n-no!!! Tell me what it is GO LISTEN TO THIS BY SF9 BYE and i’ll do it”

And he’s like ,,,,,,,,,,,,, i knew i liked you for a reason -- i mE A N OK PLS GO THROUGH THE TESTIMONIES FOR ME

And you spend a few more hours helping him out

You’ve never seen jihoon this frazzled and it kinda makes you freaked out too bc if he ain’t calm how can you be

You guys finally finish and he lets out a huge breath of relief

“I think,,,, we did it,,,, they can’t weasel out of this!!!”

“That’s good i’m glad i was able to help!!!”

“Yes we make a good team :)”

And yO U’RE LIKE OH,,,,, OMG

“cAN U PLS STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT I’M NOT AN EMOTIONLESS ROBOT”

“Well……………….”

“Wow i’m offended????? Is that what you think of me???????????”

“nO I WAS JOKING I Love how passionate you are about your work and really admire you for always being able to set your mind to something and doing it”

Jihoon is shook to say the least

No one has ever said that to him despite his huge success as an attorney

People compliment him on his work yes but it’s superficial and only empty words

Everyone is always reluctant to actually talk to him bc he’s always so cold and work-oriented

He can see the floating halo above your head

It takes him a while to say something bc now it’s his turn to stare

There’s a strange air of intimacy and you’re trying to control your cheeks from flaring red under his gaze

You suddenly notice how long his eyelashes are--

wAIT STOP YOU DON’T LIKE JIHOON AHAHHA WHAAAAT NOPE

“Did,,, i say something funny?”

“No,,,, not at all,,,,, thank you. That means a lot to me.”

Alert the reader is melting emergency alert

“Would you,,, like to come watch tomorrow?”

You really want to but,,,, your office job,,,,, stacks of papers are piling up on your desk

He senses your hesitance and is like i’ll let your boss know it’s to help me out

You’re like uh does that actually work

“He loves me ok this firm would be in the ground let’s be real”

You: well he ain’t wrong

“Ok well,,,, as long as it’s alright,,,,,, I have to see it through the end with you!!”

Jihoon: i am def gonna need 2 win

The following night comes too soon and you’re in the audience with bated breath

As soon as jihoon announces himself the atmosphere instantly shifts

The opposing attorneys seem to be unfazed and it’s a harsh battle between defense and prosecution

Jihoon brings up the newly found loophole and you can see the witness be like o cr a p gudbyez

And the attorney tries to save their witness during Redirect but even you thought their reputation was ruined

Jihoon is All Smirks for the rest of the trial

As it comes to an end after many many hours, the judge finally speaks about the verdict

And yAY YOUR WITNESS IS NOT GUILTY JIHOON LED THE CASE TO SUCCESS WOO HOO

You wait for him outside of the building as the people are dispersing

It takes a while for him to emerge out from the doors but the second he does you’re like

“oH MY GOSH JIHOON YOU WERE AM A Z IN G!!! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!”

He knows he’s used to hearing this but for some reason he turns sO BL US H Y

Instead of replying with his usual “oh thank you, I know” he’s avoiding your gaze

“Oh,,,, it was,,, nothing,,,,”

And you swear you can see hints of pink on his cheeks

You decide to tease him for a bit bc i mEAN THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY

“Omg jihoon,,, are you blushing????”

“*clears throat loudly* SUFDFSDJLFJF NO WHAT I DO N OT BLUSH we’re going to the nearest pizza parlor”

And he starts tugging your arm and you’re like wH AT I DIDNT EVEN AGREE TO THIS???

He mutters “well the least we could do is celebrate” aND YOU CAN SEE THE TIPS OF HIS EARS SUPER RED

Even in the dark you can see his embarrassment written all over him

You’re like “well this is cheesy aHAH SEE WHAT I DID THERE”

“We’re not going anymore”

“Ok i’m soRRY I WANT FOOD I’M HUNGRY”

“,,,,but not as cheesy as me using this as an excuse to ask you out”

“Well i mean -- wAIT WHAT”

And he’s looking at you expectantly and you’re just trying to Register What Happened

“Oh,,,, well,,,, i wouldn’t mind,,,,,,,,,,”

And he smiles ever so slightly my heart

“How greasy of me”

“Ok who’s the one making bad puns now”