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Valspar Championship Saturday Thoughts
Golf heads only.
You know those “horse’s ass” trophies they sometimes give out at company golf outings to a guy who’s dressed badly, or a fat guy who fell in a pond? I genuinely think those trophies are better than the one they give out for the Valspar Championship. When a golfer puts the Valspar abomination in their trophy room, they should turn the other golf trophies so the little guy on top isn’t looking at it. Nevertheless, Florida’s gulf coast was treated to some lights-out golf Saturday as the game’s best competed for one of the worst trophies in sports.
Scoring conditions were the easiest they’ve been so far this week; it was one of those days where the course doesn’t give you fits, but you know your opponents are going to make a lot of birdies. With a large group of guys only a few shots off the lead, the leaders had to be feeling the pressure to shoot a low number.
One guy who held up pretty well under that pressure was Corey Conners, the 26 year old Canadian who swings like one of the beginner characters in a video game. For about 100 years golf instructors have advised us to keep the left arm straight, and Corey said “beg pardon, but I doon’t think I’ll be doing that, terribly soarry.” Hey, it’s worked well enough to get him into tomorrow’s final pairing with Justin Rose.
That final pairing is one that just barely excluded Tiger Woods. A couple of makable birdie putts on Tiger’s second nine burned the edge, either would have gotten him that coveted Sunday tee time with Conners. Regardless, Tiger looked strong; he hit fairways, shaped his shots well, and avoided 3-putts, even on 18 green with the Dallas Cowboys’ Jumbotron positioned 6 inches to its left.
A lot of other guys showed up in a big way. Patrick Reed shot a 67 with some precise, plus-sized putting. Kelly Kraft recovered nicely from a triple to salvage a good round, even though he’s a guy named Kelly. Rory Sabbatini still plays golf. They’ll all be threats tomorrow.
Now Conners has to sleep on a 54 hole lead in a tournament he got into as an alternate. This isn’t David and Goliath, it’s David and the 23 Goliaths within 6 shots of his lead. At the risk of ranking Goliaths, I’d say Tiger is the biggest Goliath of all those Goliaths, and I would not want to stand between him and a first place finish. It might be a god-awful trophy, but there’s no doubt Tiger wants it. I wouldn’t be surprised if it winds up in Tiger’s third or fourth trophy room, maybe with a lampshade on it.
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