#Golf Ball Retriever Jobs Near Me

[star-quill]

had another thought about country club member peter who comes in during a very busy day and there's no caddies available to help him out on the course so you end up having to help him. you sit next to him on the golf cart, the ride somewhat awkward, considering ur whole relationship with him was, at this point, just sex.

his hand slipped over your thigh, his thumb rubbing over your skin. your face turned red and you had to slip your hand into his, trying to stop him from going any further.

"peter.."

"mm?"

"there's still people on the course.."

"mmhm.. i know.."

he stopped the cart near one of the holes, letting you get out first and grab his clubs. he followed you to the tee and you handed him one of the clubs, accidentally pulling out the wrong one.

"that's a putter, darlin'.. here, i'll get it.."

he put it back and got the right one out. he tee'd up before he stopped and turns to you.

"you ever played before? i could teach you if u like?"

"oh.. uhm.. i-i guess?"

he handed you the club, and stood back as you tried holding it right and looked at him for confirmation.

"alright.. here let me help.."

he walked behind you, his hands on your waist, guiding you on the through hit of the ball. your hands got all sweaty as he stood a bit closer to you.

"you're doing good.. for someone who's never done this before, you have a good stance.. you ready to hit it?"

he stood far back and watched as you hit the ball—and hit it well. he clapped and walked round to you, slinging his arm around ur shoulder and squeezing you against his side. you couldn't help but smile, blushing into his side.

you both moved around the course, him letting you have a few shots every so often, getting excited when somehow you got a hole in one.

"holy shit!" he high fived you and you just grinned up at him while he retrieved both yours and his balls from the hole, slipping them back into the side pocket of his golf caddy.

once you both finished up, you had a long drive back to the main building, forgetting how far away the 18th hole is. he kept both hands on the wheel this time, not wanting to push you any further. but it was you who initiated it, tugging on his arm and holding his hand as he drove you both back. he just glanced over at you for a second and smiled, before turning back to focus on the path ahead of him. you were absolutely head over heels in love with him and it was getting dangerous. you couldn't risk losing your job over him and you didn't want him to lose his membership either.

the main building came into view and he slipped his hand out of yours, driving up to a parking spot near the side entrance. he got out and you followed suit, trying to keep up with his long strides. once he got back to reception, you nodded at him and moved to go back to the bar and lounge area, but a hand on your arm stopped you.

"i had fun today.. thanks for helping me out."

"it was no problem, same time next week?"

"yeah.. 'course.. see you then, sweetheart.." he winked at you before he turned to leave, heading out the front door to the main car park. you realised then that this was becoming more than just sex, you spent so much time with him and you're not completely sure if today counted as a date but if it was, you want a second one immediately. you put your hand in your pocket, trying to find your pen but finding a crumpled piece of paper instead. a number was written down followed by a note:

here's my number, call me later? peter.

[jimmydemaret]

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7 WTF Details About Historical Events Everyone Forgets

Tragic events are typically followed by periods of shock, grief, anger, and the occasional flash of inexplicable horniness. So it’s only natural that when we’re dealing with lives lost and places destroyed, we tend to only focus on these important matters and damn everything else to hell. But sometimes, that means we ignore all of the chaotic insanity that typically accompanies history, making textbooks just that little bit blander. So let’s put on our Indiana Jones hats and dive into the past, and remind ourselves of some truly crazypants parts of history that usually get left out of the conversation. For example …

7

The Manual For The German Tiger Tank Contained Poetry And Porn

War is chaos. With bullets flying and bombs whizzing everywhere, preparation and alertness are the keys to survival. But while combat is exciting, combat training can be mind-numbingly boring. So how do you get a group of disinterested, overly hormonal boys to sit up, pay attention, and remember stuff? By turning that stuff into smut, of course.

During World War II, German commanders needed to quickly familiarize new recruits with the inner workings of the complicated Tiger Tank. Unfortunately, the Fuhrer’s finest were less than thrilled with spending long days memorizing the dry technical manuals. Finally, the Nazis came up with an elegant solution to motivate the laser-like focus necessary to master the tank: They included a naked lady on every other page, and made sure the important parts rhymed.

German Federal ArchivesTranslation: “Danger lurks in the sump! Read your manual well, otherwise your Tiger goes to hell!”

After the war, it was discovered that the manual for the German Panzerkampfwagen was full of nudes, jokes, and dirty limericks. This masterpiece was the brainchild of Josef von Glatter-Goetz, who had novel ideas on how to warm up his cadets’ learning muscles (among others). And most of the warming up was done by Elvira, a buxom blonde who appeared every few pages to keep the boys thumbing — or whatever else helped them get there faster.

German Federal Archives“Klaus, why do you keep taking the manual to the bathroom?”

She would pop up (often with her clothes popped off) whenever the cadets were supposed to pay extra attention to the lesson, like the importance of making accurate measurements when firing or keeping the engines clean, even if it led to making the cockpits sticky.

German Federal Archives“I only read it for the articles.”

The program was a demonstrable success, and both von Glatter-Goetz’s excellent understanding of his target audience and Elvira’s ass helped untold numbers of troops masturbate their way to mastering the Tiger Tank.

6

Hurricane Katrina Ejected Over A Thousand Coffins From Graves

According to FEMA, Hurricane Katrina was “the single most catastrophic natural disaster in U.S. history.” It caused over $41.1 billion in damage and killed more than 1,800 people. But not content with causing misery for the living, Katrina decided to go after the deceased as well, digging them up so she could pee her hate water on their faces.

Petty Officer Kyle Niemi/US Navy“You whine when it doesn’t rain, you whine when it rains too much, what do you want from me??”

Read Next

5 Crazy Scenarios You Didn't Know The Constitution Allows

During the disaster, over 1,000 coffins — and, more gruesomely, those coffin’s residents — were ejected from their places of rest. The transition wasn’t gentle, either. One New Orleans native found his grandmother’s body, still in her pink burial dress, splayed out in the open like she was trying to get a tan. Skeletal remains were sprawled among cemetery statues, and more than one coffin was found up a tree. According to the Disaster Mortuary Operational Response Team (Dmort), it’s unlikely that all the uprooted bodies will ever be located and returned. “Many are in extremely remote and inaccessible areas,” a spokesman said. “They have been carried way downrange into muck and swamp and forest.”

APWe don’t want to sound too alarmist, but this is exactly how a zombie apocalypse would start.

Despite the difficulties, officials are still doing their best to return the drifting dead to their correct burial sites — or as much of them as they can scoop up, at least. Unfortunately, since we have this silly idea that the dead aren’t supposed to move about, corpses and coffins tend to not have any labels of traceable information. Finding a corpse that’s buried with something unique is like finding a corner piece of an especially macabre puzzle. So far, officials have been able to identify bodies buried with their favorite golf club, some unusual rosary beads, and a six-pack of beer. It won’t be long before the government starts insisting we all get buried with a valid driver’s license and two utility bills.

In the meantime, less stringent coffins laws have been introduced in order for us to better retrieve these lost soulless husks. After Katrina, Louisiana passed a law requiring labels for coffins. However, they weren’t clear enough in their wording, so now Louisiana morticians are labeling their coffins with everything from smartphone tracking apps to the less-than-ideal paper tags. Inhabitants of one particularly low-lying cemetery now have beacons attached to their coffins, but the battery life for the floater-be-found is still to be determined.

William Widmer/The New York Times“Warmer … warmer … colder …”

5

King George V Was Euthanized So His Death Could Make The Right Headlines

For all the perks associated with being born into a royal family (unlimited wealth, the right to eat peasants, fancy hats), living the life of royalty also means you’re always in the public spotlight. Never can you falter from keeping up appearances, making sure your every action benefits the crown as best as possible. That includes your death, because god forbid a royal should die at an inconvenient time of day like some low-class pleb.

Library of CongressGod Save the Facial Hair

When Britain’s King George V lay on his deathbed in 1936, doctors were concerned about more than his failing health. Convinced that the king was not long for this world, medical staff began suspecting he might not kick the gilded bucket at the most dignified of times. Deciding that the matter couldn’t be left in the clumsy hands of God or fate, steps were taken to “hasten” the king’s death, and he was euthanized in his sleep shortly before midnight on January 20th.

Why the rush? According to the notes of his physician, Lord Dawson, the king was given lethal doses of morphine and cocaine so that word of his death would appear ”in the morning papers rather than the less appropriate evening journals.” Dawson administered the injections to King George himself at around 11 p.m., right after he’d had his wife in London ”advise The Times to hold back publication.” That’s right, the king’s life had a literal deadline.

Bradford Timeline“Here is the royal speedball, your grace.”

Whether the injections counted as mercy or murder is still a topic of debate. Though the king had been in generally poor health for some time, the doctor had only been summoned to care for him four days prior to his death. On the morning of his last day, the king held a meeting with his privy counselors, which is pretty lucid for someone who’s about to get injected with mercy coke. Documents give “no indication that the King himself had been consulted,” but seeing as his last words were “God damn you” to a nurse administering a sedative, we don’t think he would’ve liked being involuntarily Belushied so that the morning papers would sell a few extra copies.

4

Millions Of Landmines Were Left In The Sahara After WWII, And Now ISIS Is Digging Them Up

Aside from proving how adept people can be at killing each other, World War II also highlighted how much the resulting clean-up sucks. Entire continents had to deal with the debris of their broken nations, the costly effects of which can still be felt. One group that was exempt from their collective spring cleaning were, of course, the Nazis, who were a bit busy getting tribunaled to death. Which is a shame, because they had millions of unexploded landmines buried in the African desert, and every other country had already touched their noses and called “Not it!”

German Federal Archives“I’m sure my actions will have no lasting consequences.”

But that was over 70 years ago. Surely we’ve taken care of those pesky balls of death we left buried in the sand since then, right? While countries like Egypt have tried to reduce the 17 million landmines both Nazi and Allied forces left behind in their desert, the place is still a minefield of … minefields. Thanks to the high temperatures and dry climate, the Sahara is doing an amazing job of preserving these war relics, which means they’re still very capable of taking a limb (or life) if fiddled with too much. But while most people are content with not going near any unstable explosives, there’s one pesky little death cult that doesn’t mind going out in a blaze of glory, intentional or otherwise.

In the past few years, ISIS has realized that one man’s minefield is another man’s massive cache of explosives, so they’re digging up and reusing landmines and their components. There have been several reports of ISIS terrorist attacks in which they used old munitions “MacGyvered” into IEDs. At least when it comes to age, ISIS seems to be quite open-minded.

NATOAs well as being adrenaline junkies.

And landmines aren’t the only type of antique firepower people in the region are packing these days. In 2015, video footage showed Syrian rebels firing a 1935 German howitzer. Meanwhile, Iraqi weapons inspectors documented the capture of a 1942 Lee-Enfield rifle, and the Armament Research Services report that British Webley revolvers, Italian cavalry carbines, Mausers, and Bren guns have appeared for sale in Libya. As long as it goes “boom” and someone dies, they’re only too happy to put it to terrible use.

via Shaam News NetworkNazis: ruining your day since 1933.

3

The Feud Between The Hatfields And The McCoys Was Probably Caused By A Medical Condition

History has seen its share of epic feuds, but few are as legendary as the pissing contest that took place between the Hatfields of West Virginia and the Kentucky McCoys in the late 1800s. Why were they so special? Longevity. They kept their fiery hatred going for a solid decade. But recent medical tests have revealed that, at least on the McCoy side, that might have been because hatred literally runs in their blood.

via Encyclopaedia BritannicaMoments later, the man on the right was riddled with bullets.

Why did these two ornery tribes want to shed each others’ blood so badly? Some say the beef started over a stolen hog, while others think it was residual hostility from the families having fought on opposite sides during the Civil War. Over a hundred years later, we still have no idea what spark started the fire, but we have an idea of where they got the gasoline. In 2007, a young girl called Winnter [sic] Reynolds was struggling at school. She had anger issues, and would often fly into fits of rage. While her teachers thought it was nothing but a bad case of ADHD, a series of medical tests revealed it was worse than that. She had bad blood. McCoy blood, to be specific.

Winnter is the latest offspring of the McCoy bloodline, from whom she had inherited her temper. She suffers from a rare genetic condition called von Hippel-Lindau disease. The illness causes the formation of adrenal tumors which cause, among other things, “hair-trigger rage and violent outbursts.” After Winnter’s diagnosis, it was revealed that several other McCoy descendants had also been diagnosed with the same condition. And while having tumors keeping you pissed off 24/7 still doesn’t shed any light on the start of the feud, it does go a long way toward explaining their whole “I’m going to kill you over some bacon” reputation.

Earl Neikirk/AP“Cleetus, go fetch the tumor chart, we gotta black another circle.”

2

We Are Still Paying A Civil War Pension

War is never not tragic, but civil wars pile all the hurt on one people. With an estimated 620,000 lives lost during the American Civil War, the cost of that little disagreement hurt the nation badly. The price paid was terrible — not only in human lives, but also in the long-term financial state of the country. How long-term? They’re still adding up, apparently.

US ArmyYeah, were sure their main concern was how much this was gonna cost.

While the indirect ramifications are impossible to calculate, there is still one straightforward bill the U.S. Civil War is serving America: $73.13, to be exact, paid monthly to one woman in North Carolina. You see, because soldiers have a tragic tendency of not always being able to collect what Uncle Sam owes them, the government compensates by also paying out pensions to widows and children of war veterans. And while the Civil War ended more than 150 years ago, believe it or not, there’s still one soldier’s child alive and kicking. That would be Irene Triplett, 86 years young, and she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

Irene’s father, Mose Triplett, was born in 1846, and managed to fight on both sides of the Civil War — though that sadly didn’t mean he’d get to draw two pensions. He later married a woman 50 years his junior, who we’re assuming must’ve been into antique cannons. When Irene was born, Mose was 83 years old and ready to mosey on up to Heaven.

via Stoneman Gazette“Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex …”

But Irene’s isn’t the only 19th-century war pension that still being paid out. We’re also still supporting 88 people for their families’ contributions to the Spanish-American War, which started and ended in 1898. And while we’re certainly not begrudging anyone their dues, if we keep up our current military policies, half of our country’s 2080 budget will be going to Iraq vets’ second families.

1

The Search For Wreckage Of The Challenger Turned Up A Lot Of Junk — And A Duffel Bag Of Cocaine

Being an air crash site investigator must be a harrowing gig. Their entire job revolves around cataloging the most horrific of disaster scenes, where the Earth has gotten a dose of corpse buckshot to the face. But finding 73 separate pieces of the same human being isn’t the only weird thing they might find at a crash site. Sometimes they also find a shit ton of coke.

CNNGodspeed, friends.

Like 9/11, the Challenger disaster is one of those awful tragedies seared into memories of all who witnessed it. Seven people lost their lives simply because some faulty O-rings and unusually cold weather caused their vessel to blow up and plow into the ocean. After the crash, NASA immediately began searching the Atlantic for any and all portions of the shuttle that survived the crash, as well as any remains of the crew that could be retrieved and given a proper burial. But with such a spread out investigation site in constantly shifting water, the crew was bound to encounter some weird stuff.

For nine weeks, experts spent 15-hour days combing sonar data of a 420-mile area. But when their submarines or robots finally found the wreckage, they also stumbled upon what looked like Poseidon’s garage sale. During NASA’s investigation, they encountered a whole warehouse full of lagan (that’s maritime for “junk”). Some of the more ordinary items included batteries and paint cans, a refrigerator, a filing cabinet, a kitchen sink, and a toilet. More interesting finds were eight shipwrecks, a Pershing missile, and half of a torpedo.

But the best non-shuttle find by far was a duffel bag containing 25 kilograms of cocaine. When NASA handed it over to the police (what a bunch of goody-two-shoes), they revealed the estimated street value of the marching powder at $13 million, roughly the cost of the entire salvage mission. So if you’re struggling to find rent money or hoping to remodel your house, maybe spend more time hanging out at the beach.

Kelly Stone remembers watching the Challenger explode, and speaks only as much German as Google Translate does. She sometimes Tweets about cats and Star Trek.

History is insane — find out more from the Cracked De-Textbook!

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Dark Details History Usually Leaves Out (For Good Reason) and 6 Disasters With Details So Awful, History Left Them Out.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/7-wtf-details-about-historical-events-everyone-forgets/

[samanthasroberts]

7 WTF Details About Historical Events Everyone Forgets

Tragic events are typically followed by periods of shock, grief, anger, and the occasional flash of inexplicable horniness. So it’s only natural that when we’re dealing with lives lost and places destroyed, we tend to only focus on these important matters and damn everything else to hell. But sometimes, that means we ignore all of the chaotic insanity that typically accompanies history, making textbooks just that little bit blander. So let’s put on our Indiana Jones hats and dive into the past, and remind ourselves of some truly crazypants parts of history that usually get left out of the conversation. For example …

7

The Manual For The German Tiger Tank Contained Poetry And Porn

War is chaos. With bullets flying and bombs whizzing everywhere, preparation and alertness are the keys to survival. But while combat is exciting, combat training can be mind-numbingly boring. So how do you get a group of disinterested, overly hormonal boys to sit up, pay attention, and remember stuff? By turning that stuff into smut, of course.

During World War II, German commanders needed to quickly familiarize new recruits with the inner workings of the complicated Tiger Tank. Unfortunately, the Fuhrer’s finest were less than thrilled with spending long days memorizing the dry technical manuals. Finally, the Nazis came up with an elegant solution to motivate the laser-like focus necessary to master the tank: They included a naked lady on every other page, and made sure the important parts rhymed.

German Federal ArchivesTranslation: “Danger lurks in the sump! Read your manual well, otherwise your Tiger goes to hell!”

After the war, it was discovered that the manual for the German Panzerkampfwagen was full of nudes, jokes, and dirty limericks. This masterpiece was the brainchild of Josef von Glatter-Goetz, who had novel ideas on how to warm up his cadets’ learning muscles (among others). And most of the warming up was done by Elvira, a buxom blonde who appeared every few pages to keep the boys thumbing — or whatever else helped them get there faster.

German Federal Archives“Klaus, why do you keep taking the manual to the bathroom?”

She would pop up (often with her clothes popped off) whenever the cadets were supposed to pay extra attention to the lesson, like the importance of making accurate measurements when firing or keeping the engines clean, even if it led to making the cockpits sticky.

German Federal Archives“I only read it for the articles.”

The program was a demonstrable success, and both von Glatter-Goetz’s excellent understanding of his target audience and Elvira’s ass helped untold numbers of troops masturbate their way to mastering the Tiger Tank.

6

Hurricane Katrina Ejected Over A Thousand Coffins From Graves

According to FEMA, Hurricane Katrina was “the single most catastrophic natural disaster in U.S. history.” It caused over $41.1 billion in damage and killed more than 1,800 people. But not content with causing misery for the living, Katrina decided to go after the deceased as well, digging them up so she could pee her hate water on their faces.

Petty Officer Kyle Niemi/US Navy“You whine when it doesn’t rain, you whine when it rains too much, what do you want from me??”

Read Next

5 Crazy Scenarios You Didn't Know The Constitution Allows

During the disaster, over 1,000 coffins — and, more gruesomely, those coffin’s residents — were ejected from their places of rest. The transition wasn’t gentle, either. One New Orleans native found his grandmother’s body, still in her pink burial dress, splayed out in the open like she was trying to get a tan. Skeletal remains were sprawled among cemetery statues, and more than one coffin was found up a tree. According to the Disaster Mortuary Operational Response Team (Dmort), it’s unlikely that all the uprooted bodies will ever be located and returned. “Many are in extremely remote and inaccessible areas,” a spokesman said. “They have been carried way downrange into muck and swamp and forest.”

APWe don’t want to sound too alarmist, but this is exactly how a zombie apocalypse would start.

Despite the difficulties, officials are still doing their best to return the drifting dead to their correct burial sites — or as much of them as they can scoop up, at least. Unfortunately, since we have this silly idea that the dead aren’t supposed to move about, corpses and coffins tend to not have any labels of traceable information. Finding a corpse that’s buried with something unique is like finding a corner piece of an especially macabre puzzle. So far, officials have been able to identify bodies buried with their favorite golf club, some unusual rosary beads, and a six-pack of beer. It won’t be long before the government starts insisting we all get buried with a valid driver’s license and two utility bills.

In the meantime, less stringent coffins laws have been introduced in order for us to better retrieve these lost soulless husks. After Katrina, Louisiana passed a law requiring labels for coffins. However, they weren’t clear enough in their wording, so now Louisiana morticians are labeling their coffins with everything from smartphone tracking apps to the less-than-ideal paper tags. Inhabitants of one particularly low-lying cemetery now have beacons attached to their coffins, but the battery life for the floater-be-found is still to be determined.

William Widmer/The New York Times“Warmer … warmer … colder …”

5

King George V Was Euthanized So His Death Could Make The Right Headlines

For all the perks associated with being born into a royal family (unlimited wealth, the right to eat peasants, fancy hats), living the life of royalty also means you’re always in the public spotlight. Never can you falter from keeping up appearances, making sure your every action benefits the crown as best as possible. That includes your death, because god forbid a royal should die at an inconvenient time of day like some low-class pleb.

Library of CongressGod Save the Facial Hair

When Britain’s King George V lay on his deathbed in 1936, doctors were concerned about more than his failing health. Convinced that the king was not long for this world, medical staff began suspecting he might not kick the gilded bucket at the most dignified of times. Deciding that the matter couldn’t be left in the clumsy hands of God or fate, steps were taken to “hasten” the king’s death, and he was euthanized in his sleep shortly before midnight on January 20th.

Why the rush? According to the notes of his physician, Lord Dawson, the king was given lethal doses of morphine and cocaine so that word of his death would appear ”in the morning papers rather than the less appropriate evening journals.” Dawson administered the injections to King George himself at around 11 p.m., right after he’d had his wife in London ”advise The Times to hold back publication.” That’s right, the king’s life had a literal deadline.

Bradford Timeline“Here is the royal speedball, your grace.”

Whether the injections counted as mercy or murder is still a topic of debate. Though the king had been in generally poor health for some time, the doctor had only been summoned to care for him four days prior to his death. On the morning of his last day, the king held a meeting with his privy counselors, which is pretty lucid for someone who’s about to get injected with mercy coke. Documents give “no indication that the King himself had been consulted,” but seeing as his last words were “God damn you” to a nurse administering a sedative, we don’t think he would’ve liked being involuntarily Belushied so that the morning papers would sell a few extra copies.

4

Millions Of Landmines Were Left In The Sahara After WWII, And Now ISIS Is Digging Them Up

Aside from proving how adept people can be at killing each other, World War II also highlighted how much the resulting clean-up sucks. Entire continents had to deal with the debris of their broken nations, the costly effects of which can still be felt. One group that was exempt from their collective spring cleaning were, of course, the Nazis, who were a bit busy getting tribunaled to death. Which is a shame, because they had millions of unexploded landmines buried in the African desert, and every other country had already touched their noses and called “Not it!”

German Federal Archives“I’m sure my actions will have no lasting consequences.”

But that was over 70 years ago. Surely we’ve taken care of those pesky balls of death we left buried in the sand since then, right? While countries like Egypt have tried to reduce the 17 million landmines both Nazi and Allied forces left behind in their desert, the place is still a minefield of … minefields. Thanks to the high temperatures and dry climate, the Sahara is doing an amazing job of preserving these war relics, which means they’re still very capable of taking a limb (or life) if fiddled with too much. But while most people are content with not going near any unstable explosives, there’s one pesky little death cult that doesn’t mind going out in a blaze of glory, intentional or otherwise.

In the past few years, ISIS has realized that one man’s minefield is another man’s massive cache of explosives, so they’re digging up and reusing landmines and their components. There have been several reports of ISIS terrorist attacks in which they used old munitions “MacGyvered” into IEDs. At least when it comes to age, ISIS seems to be quite open-minded.

NATOAs well as being adrenaline junkies.

And landmines aren’t the only type of antique firepower people in the region are packing these days. In 2015, video footage showed Syrian rebels firing a 1935 German howitzer. Meanwhile, Iraqi weapons inspectors documented the capture of a 1942 Lee-Enfield rifle, and the Armament Research Services report that British Webley revolvers, Italian cavalry carbines, Mausers, and Bren guns have appeared for sale in Libya. As long as it goes “boom” and someone dies, they’re only too happy to put it to terrible use.

via Shaam News NetworkNazis: ruining your day since 1933.

3

The Feud Between The Hatfields And The McCoys Was Probably Caused By A Medical Condition

History has seen its share of epic feuds, but few are as legendary as the pissing contest that took place between the Hatfields of West Virginia and the Kentucky McCoys in the late 1800s. Why were they so special? Longevity. They kept their fiery hatred going for a solid decade. But recent medical tests have revealed that, at least on the McCoy side, that might have been because hatred literally runs in their blood.

via Encyclopaedia BritannicaMoments later, the man on the right was riddled with bullets.

Why did these two ornery tribes want to shed each others’ blood so badly? Some say the beef started over a stolen hog, while others think it was residual hostility from the families having fought on opposite sides during the Civil War. Over a hundred years later, we still have no idea what spark started the fire, but we have an idea of where they got the gasoline. In 2007, a young girl called Winnter [sic] Reynolds was struggling at school. She had anger issues, and would often fly into fits of rage. While her teachers thought it was nothing but a bad case of ADHD, a series of medical tests revealed it was worse than that. She had bad blood. McCoy blood, to be specific.

Winnter is the latest offspring of the McCoy bloodline, from whom she had inherited her temper. She suffers from a rare genetic condition called von Hippel-Lindau disease. The illness causes the formation of adrenal tumors which cause, among other things, “hair-trigger rage and violent outbursts.” After Winnter’s diagnosis, it was revealed that several other McCoy descendants had also been diagnosed with the same condition. And while having tumors keeping you pissed off 24/7 still doesn’t shed any light on the start of the feud, it does go a long way toward explaining their whole “I’m going to kill you over some bacon” reputation.

Earl Neikirk/AP“Cleetus, go fetch the tumor chart, we gotta black another circle.”

2

We Are Still Paying A Civil War Pension

War is never not tragic, but civil wars pile all the hurt on one people. With an estimated 620,000 lives lost during the American Civil War, the cost of that little disagreement hurt the nation badly. The price paid was terrible — not only in human lives, but also in the long-term financial state of the country. How long-term? They’re still adding up, apparently.

US ArmyYeah, were sure their main concern was how much this was gonna cost.

While the indirect ramifications are impossible to calculate, there is still one straightforward bill the U.S. Civil War is serving America: $73.13, to be exact, paid monthly to one woman in North Carolina. You see, because soldiers have a tragic tendency of not always being able to collect what Uncle Sam owes them, the government compensates by also paying out pensions to widows and children of war veterans. And while the Civil War ended more than 150 years ago, believe it or not, there’s still one soldier’s child alive and kicking. That would be Irene Triplett, 86 years young, and she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

Irene’s father, Mose Triplett, was born in 1846, and managed to fight on both sides of the Civil War — though that sadly didn’t mean he’d get to draw two pensions. He later married a woman 50 years his junior, who we’re assuming must’ve been into antique cannons. When Irene was born, Mose was 83 years old and ready to mosey on up to Heaven.

via Stoneman Gazette“Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex …”

But Irene’s isn’t the only 19th-century war pension that still being paid out. We’re also still supporting 88 people for their families’ contributions to the Spanish-American War, which started and ended in 1898. And while we’re certainly not begrudging anyone their dues, if we keep up our current military policies, half of our country’s 2080 budget will be going to Iraq vets’ second families.

1

The Search For Wreckage Of The Challenger Turned Up A Lot Of Junk — And A Duffel Bag Of Cocaine

Being an air crash site investigator must be a harrowing gig. Their entire job revolves around cataloging the most horrific of disaster scenes, where the Earth has gotten a dose of corpse buckshot to the face. But finding 73 separate pieces of the same human being isn’t the only weird thing they might find at a crash site. Sometimes they also find a shit ton of coke.

CNNGodspeed, friends.

Like 9/11, the Challenger disaster is one of those awful tragedies seared into memories of all who witnessed it. Seven people lost their lives simply because some faulty O-rings and unusually cold weather caused their vessel to blow up and plow into the ocean. After the crash, NASA immediately began searching the Atlantic for any and all portions of the shuttle that survived the crash, as well as any remains of the crew that could be retrieved and given a proper burial. But with such a spread out investigation site in constantly shifting water, the crew was bound to encounter some weird stuff.

For nine weeks, experts spent 15-hour days combing sonar data of a 420-mile area. But when their submarines or robots finally found the wreckage, they also stumbled upon what looked like Poseidon’s garage sale. During NASA’s investigation, they encountered a whole warehouse full of lagan (that’s maritime for “junk”). Some of the more ordinary items included batteries and paint cans, a refrigerator, a filing cabinet, a kitchen sink, and a toilet. More interesting finds were eight shipwrecks, a Pershing missile, and half of a torpedo.

But the best non-shuttle find by far was a duffel bag containing 25 kilograms of cocaine. When NASA handed it over to the police (what a bunch of goody-two-shoes), they revealed the estimated street value of the marching powder at $13 million, roughly the cost of the entire salvage mission. So if you’re struggling to find rent money or hoping to remodel your house, maybe spend more time hanging out at the beach.

Kelly Stone remembers watching the Challenger explode, and speaks only as much German as Google Translate does. She sometimes Tweets about cats and Star Trek.

History is insane — find out more from the Cracked De-Textbook!

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Dark Details History Usually Leaves Out (For Good Reason) and 6 Disasters With Details So Awful, History Left Them Out.

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/7-wtf-details-about-historical-events-everyone-forgets/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/09/02/7-wtf-details-about-historical-events-everyone-forgets/

[dragnews]

Home-brewed life lessons from Honest Tea

NEW YORK (Reuters) – (The author is a Reuters contributor. The opinions expressed are her own.)

Seth Goldman, Co-Founder & TeaEO Emeritus of Honest Tea of Bethesda, is pictured in Bethesda, Maryland, U.S. in this undated photo released June 29, 2018. Courtesy Seth Goldman/Handout via REUTERS

Twenty years ago, Seth Goldman succeeded in his years-long quest to find an after-run drink that was tasty, yet low in sugar and calories.

His Honest Tea is now ubiquitous in stores. But Goldman started brewing and distributing the initial tea samples from his home.

After originally partnering with his former Yale professor, Barry Nalebuff, they sold the company to the Coca-Cola Bottling Co in 2011. Goldman, 52, lives near the company’s Bethesda, Maryland, headquarters and remains involved – his current title is “Co-Founder & TeaEO Emeritus of Honest Tea” for Coca-Cola’s Venturing & Emerging Brands business unit.

In 2013, he and Nalebuff wrote a graphic book, “Mission in a Bottle: The Honest Guide to Doing Business Differently – and Succeeding,” telling the story of their company and sharing tips with entrepreneurs.

For the latest in the Reuters series “Life Lessons,” Goldman shared more advice on his strategies in business and in life.

Q: What lesson would you say people can learn from the risks you took in order to start your business?

A: Not having a lot of money in the beginning actually provided a healthy discipline. We were forced to be creative and resourceful with everything – our marketing, our staffing, our office ‘décor’ (i.e. dumpster diving for used desks, which I still use!).

Q: Where did you get your entrepreneurial spirit?

A: Although both of my grandparents ran their own small businesses, my role model as an entrepreneur was my father. He was a professor, which is normally not an entrepreneurial profession. But he led such a dynamic life – creating academic programs and seminars, serving as a founding board member of several charities and a local bank. He ingrained in me the mindset that if you think something should be done, you don’t wait on someone else to do it.

Q: Tell us about your first job – What did it teach you?

A: When I was 8, I sold used golf balls and lemonade with my next-door neighbor at the local golf course. The retrieval of the balls from bushes and rivers was almost as much fun as selling them. I learned early on that not getting the sale was just part of life – not a personal rejection of me or my golf balls or lemonade. That thick skin still comes in handy.

Q: As you became more established in your career, what did you learn about handling money?

A: Entrepreneurs who focus only on accumulating money as their goal can be disappointed in several ways – first, they may not see a pay day. Second, if they do have a pay day, it can be anticlimactic because once it comes, there’s not much more to do but accumulate more money, and that has diminishing returns in terms of satisfaction.

Q: Is giving important and if so, who do you support?

A: Before we sold Honest Tea, my wife and I donated a significant portion of our shares to a charitable vehicle called Impact Assets. It allowed the proceeds of the sale to be donated to non-profits, such as Urban Alliance, where my wife works, or to be invested in dynamic social enterprises, such as Ripple Foods or Beyond Meat (where I serve as a board member). If those companies have a successful exit, the proceeds go back into Impact Assets – so we get the chance to continue the virtuous circle.

Q: What money or life lessons have you tried to pass on to your sons?

A: We were happy as a family before Honest Tea’s success because we understood what made us happy – being able to take joy in each other, in nature, in Boston sports teams and in close friendships. We continue to be happy as a family because we still value those things. Money doesn’t change that.

Editing by Beth Pinsker and Dan Grebler

The post Home-brewed life lessons from Honest Tea appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2ITlHfG via Today News

[newestbalance]

Home-brewed life lessons from Honest Tea

NEW YORK (Reuters) – (The author is a Reuters contributor. The opinions expressed are her own.)

Seth Goldman, Co-Founder & TeaEO Emeritus of Honest Tea of Bethesda, is pictured in Bethesda, Maryland, U.S. in this undated photo released June 29, 2018. Courtesy Seth Goldman/Handout via REUTERS

Twenty years ago, Seth Goldman succeeded in his years-long quest to find an after-run drink that was tasty, yet low in sugar and calories.

His Honest Tea is now ubiquitous in stores. But Goldman started brewing and distributing the initial tea samples from his home.

After originally partnering with his former Yale professor, Barry Nalebuff, they sold the company to the Coca-Cola Bottling Co in 2011. Goldman, 52, lives near the company’s Bethesda, Maryland, headquarters and remains involved – his current title is “Co-Founder & TeaEO Emeritus of Honest Tea” for Coca-Cola’s Venturing & Emerging Brands business unit.

In 2013, he and Nalebuff wrote a graphic book, “Mission in a Bottle: The Honest Guide to Doing Business Differently – and Succeeding,” telling the story of their company and sharing tips with entrepreneurs.

For the latest in the Reuters series “Life Lessons,” Goldman shared more advice on his strategies in business and in life.

Q: What lesson would you say people can learn from the risks you took in order to start your business?

A: Not having a lot of money in the beginning actually provided a healthy discipline. We were forced to be creative and resourceful with everything – our marketing, our staffing, our office ‘décor’ (i.e. dumpster diving for used desks, which I still use!).

Q: Where did you get your entrepreneurial spirit?

A: Although both of my grandparents ran their own small businesses, my role model as an entrepreneur was my father. He was a professor, which is normally not an entrepreneurial profession. But he led such a dynamic life – creating academic programs and seminars, serving as a founding board member of several charities and a local bank. He ingrained in me the mindset that if you think something should be done, you don’t wait on someone else to do it.

Q: Tell us about your first job – What did it teach you?

A: When I was 8, I sold used golf balls and lemonade with my next-door neighbor at the local golf course. The retrieval of the balls from bushes and rivers was almost as much fun as selling them. I learned early on that not getting the sale was just part of life – not a personal rejection of me or my golf balls or lemonade. That thick skin still comes in handy.

Q: As you became more established in your career, what did you learn about handling money?

A: Entrepreneurs who focus only on accumulating money as their goal can be disappointed in several ways – first, they may not see a pay day. Second, if they do have a pay day, it can be anticlimactic because once it comes, there’s not much more to do but accumulate more money, and that has diminishing returns in terms of satisfaction.

Q: Is giving important and if so, who do you support?

A: Before we sold Honest Tea, my wife and I donated a significant portion of our shares to a charitable vehicle called Impact Assets. It allowed the proceeds of the sale to be donated to non-profits, such as Urban Alliance, where my wife works, or to be invested in dynamic social enterprises, such as Ripple Foods or Beyond Meat (where I serve as a board member). If those companies have a successful exit, the proceeds go back into Impact Assets – so we get the chance to continue the virtuous circle.

Q: What money or life lessons have you tried to pass on to your sons?

A: We were happy as a family before Honest Tea’s success because we understood what made us happy – being able to take joy in each other, in nature, in Boston sports teams and in close friendships. We continue to be happy as a family because we still value those things. Money doesn’t change that.

Editing by Beth Pinsker and Dan Grebler

The post Home-brewed life lessons from Honest Tea appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2ITlHfG via Everyday News

[psotu19]

Parrish Art Museum, Water Mill, NY: Story Circle #5, January 26, 2018

FIRST ROUND

Almond (moderator): I came from New York City–there was every kind of person, it was a great way to grow up. I experienced the whole world–I felt like I belonged, even as it is not an easy place to live. Then I went to Paris for a year to be an au pair and made friends with a German girl, but the bottom fell out when she said to me “you are the only Jew I’ve ever met who has no money.” It was a shock. It brought up questions of history and identity–questions of belonging or not.

GIANCARLO: I was born in Italy near Carrara and because I was an artist I did not belong. In this country you are always comparing yourself with the great Italian artists. I grew up in a foundry where artists such as Jacques Lipschitz came. I was his assistant. He was the first to encourage me. I went to Art School and wanted to leave the country but my father said no. After I served in the army and turned 21 I was free to go. I landed in America with $64 in my pocket and no one to meet me. I had a few artist friends and began working. I built a foundry in Aspen in exchange for a green card, then applied for grants and moved to NYC.

Shane:  This is a time of awakening because more people are aware of the culture of the Shinnecock Nation. For years others told our stories, but now we tell our stories and that gives us a sense of belonging. I go around the country and speak to people who thought Native Americans were extinct or that we still live in teepees, to tell them we are here. We are the 565th tribe to be recognized.

Tom: We moved to Sag Harbor five years ago. It is not an open community and my wife and I felt isolated and depressed, and we felt as if we were no longer part of the USA. Then three things happened that were positive and helped us find some common ground. The first was the Women’s March last year, which made us feel we were not so alone. The second was going to Canio’s Bookstore where it was a jam-packed what-do-we-do-now gathering. My wife was made a committee chair. The third was the People’s Supper sponsored and hosted by the Shinnecock Nation which brought people together and engendered a feeling of solidarity, a place to talk one-on-one. It was part of a nationwide series of dinners happening at the same time.

Joe (our deserting poet): I live in East Quogue where there was much concern of a proposed large golf club/resort. The residents of the village are divided, people taking sides. Shopkeepers, builders, and schools are in favor while many residents want to preserve the fragile “small town-ness” of their village. This happened around the time of the presidential election. Then something happened: an elderly neighbor who welcomed us to the neighborhood died. Her daughter who was on the other side–in favor of the golf club–brought us a photograph she found among her mother’s things. It was a photograph of the creek–that gesture was a healing one.

Sara: This  past year I have been operating on two sides. I am so angry at the state of the union that I work on a jigsaw puzzle with my headphones on because I can’t endure these new feelings. My forefathers came to new England in the 1600s. One of my ancestors rescued his wife from the Indians but I believe she wanted to be there. I am troubled at acting out of white privilege, and this feeling about the union was mirrored by difficulties with my job where we were fed misinformation and it was a ball of confusion. I work at Sylvester Manor on Shelter Island, restoring former slave quarters–and now I can love my job because we no longer work under the person who was feeding us disinformation.

SECOND ROUND (this portion became a more informal discussion as we were a smaller group).

Almond: We need to find community, to be connected to a place. Extremes can wake us up – we live on a continuum.

Tom: Sarah is conflicted, not confused–hopeful and depressed at the same time–that is the state of our union.

Sara: Our institutions disappointed us. It’s out now. We are lancing the boil–I channel my inner  Bernie.

Almond: We are better human beings than we were hundreds of years ago–we treat each other better.

Tom: Sag Harbor is a closed town. I know only a handful of people and shopkeepers–the rest won’t look at you if you don’t have the same heritage as their grandfathers.

Joe: A very American thing is that we organize around communities of interest, where national and local issues come together. In NYC you can be part of the community of people on the street.

Tom: There is a lack of diversity out here–a big racial divide with a big social divide–an insider/outsider culture.

Shane: There are divisions within our community, and some of it is self-imposed. There are traditionalists, church-goers and non-believers, and you can be exiled from a community. Diversity is passed down from generations. I am a traditionalist–my art brings me into the community. You have to think out of the box to find your outlet. We are the 26th generations.

Almond: I think about the next chapter. My 9-year-old daughter saw the shock on my face the day after the election. She has a diverse group of friends. She sensed something was wrong. We went to Washington and Sag Harbor and my daughter saw us coming together. I tell her this is how it is we find the courage to go forward.

Giancarlo: After Manhattan and going back and forth to Europe, like a dog I wanted a corner of the world to lick my wounds. I wanted isolation. I saw that the community out here needed some culture, so I started a not-for-profit called Artida Culture Center which gave free lessons in working with clay. Next summer we plan to give free lessons to local people in marble carving. Initially there was not much of a response. Are we a community of dogs all licking our wounds?

Shane: Institutional colonialism, the lies that are institutionalized in language even with awakening—there are riffs between communities, so you don’t get a good response. The hardest part of opening up.

Tom: I had a re-birth of consciousness at the University of Wisconsin. I came from a conservative white background. That made me indirectly a liberal. I discovered a whole new work intellectually. Being in Sag Harbor, the native beauty was overwhelming and it opened up artistic interests of poetry and photography. People are more aware now of the lack of diversity.

Sara: I do think love is the answer. I learned and was influenced by Joanna Macy, author of the concept and movement book, “The Great Turning,” the shift from an industrial growth society to a life-sustaining civilization; and from her book, “Active Hope”. We are in an extraordinary time to be human because we are in a shift. I saw a Danish TV ad where people of all classes were brought together and asked the same question: were you bullied or did you bully others? And people found their common ground–we are defined more by what we have in common.

Giancarlo: An old Chinese proverb says, “If you wait by the river long enough the bodies of your enemies will float by.” So, be patient, sit by the river and watch. I am very proud to be American and to practice democracy.

Almond: We are such a young country. We are in this big experiment; we are impatient for perfection. Step back–how do we make connections, through art, and find the points of connection?

Tom: A corruption of institutions.

Shane: With social media you can access information and get the truth. For example about the shipwreck of the Circassian, in which ten Shinnecock members were killed as they tried to retrieve cargo [editor’s addition: the Shinnecock men were threatened to have their pay withheld as well as they were supposedly threatened with a gun, to force the men to complete the work of off-loading the materials from the ship even though a lethal storm was coming up]. Or that the migration from Long Island to the Great Lakes took hundreds of years.

Sara: What can I do? Be a witness? My son may leave the country.

Almond: My brother did leave the country.

PS: A lovely comment at the end. When asked what materials he used in his art, Giancarlo said, “I am a bronze man,” which could certainly inspire a poem!

End.

[footballleague0]

Wyoming Cowboys Josh Allen goes from unknown to No. 1 pick in NFL draft buzz

LARAMIE, Wyo. — On Nov. 20, 2014, near the end of Josh Allen’s first season at junior college, he sent emails imploring someone — anyone, really — to give him a chance to be a Division I quarterback.

The recipient list included not only every FBS head coach, but also every offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator and position coach from Alabama to Washington, more than 1,000 emails in total. They started with the same salutation and the same desperate plea from a kid in tiny Firebaugh, California: I want to be your quarterback.

Courtesy of Josh Allen

His unsolicited emails went over like a loan request from a Nigerian prince. He received a handful of responses and only two — Eastern Michigan and Wyoming — eventually offered him a scholarship. (The Eagles actually withdrew their offer after he chose to visit Wyoming near the end of the early signing period for junior college transfers.)

“Yeah, I was disappointed,” Allen said. “I couldn’t believe it.”

On the bright side, it was one more scholarship offer than Allen had coming out of Firebaugh High School the year before, when not a single FBS or FCS program called.

“I truly felt like I was a Division I quarterback, and I’d felt that way for a long time,” Allen said. “I just wanted other people to see it.”

No one else saw it, at least not back then. But after throwing for more than 3,000 yards and 28 touchdowns for Wyoming last season, the quarterback that nearly every FBS team (but two) ignored might very well end up being one of the first players selected in the 2018 NFL draft.

Allen’s anonymity ended almost immediately after the final selection of the 2017 NFL draft was made on April 29, when ESPN reporter Adam Schefter said: “There was one personnel director who told me this week that you can put in the books, Josh Allen will be the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft next year.”

Of course, most of the people watching ESPN’s draft coverage that day probably wondered: Who in the hell is Josh Allen?

“Probably 90 percent of America,” Allen admitted. “That’s kind of been my M.O. my entire football career.”

There’s only one stoplight in Firebaugh, California, a farming town of about 7,500 residents in California’s Central Valley, about 40 miles west of Fresno. Originally known as Firebaugh’s Ferry, it was an outpost on the San Joaquin River during the California gold rush during the mid-19th century.

According to 2011 data from the U.S. Census Bureau, Latinos make up more than 90 percent of the town’s population, many of them migrant workers employed in agriculture.

Potentially the first three picks in the 2018 NFL draft. The reigning Heisman winner. A two-time top-four Heisman vote-getter. And that’s just the half of it. Add it all up, and 2017 is truly shaping up as college’s year of the quarterback.

“It’s a small town, everybody knows everybody and news travels fast,” said Allen. “It was an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything because it kind of shaped who I am today.”

Thousands of acres of alfalfa, pistachios and almond groves line the road to the ranch where Allen grew up. Joel Allen, Josh’s father, and his uncle, Todd Allen, grow about 3,000 acres of Pima cotton, cantaloupes and wheat against the backdrop of a coastal mountain range. Joel and Todd Allen are third-generation farmers.

Josh’s great-grandfather Arvid “Swede” Allen arrived at Ellis Island from Sweden in 1907 and settled in Firebaugh during the Great Depression. Josh’s grandfather A.E. “Buzz” Allen established the family farm in 1975 and was also a local school board member and civic leader (the high school gymnasium is named in his honor).

“Josh would be fourth-generation,” Joel Allen said. “But I don’t think he’s coming back to the farm.”

Joel and his wife, LaVonne, raised their four children on the ranch, and Josh, his younger brother Jason and sisters Nicala and Makenna were involved in sports at an early age. There is a basketball goal, swimming pool and batting cage at the ranch, and Josh grew up playing nearly every sport, including baseball, basketball, football, golf, gymnastics, karate and swimming. He and his brother, who plays first base at Saddleback College in Mission Viejo, California, also helped their father and uncle on the farm.

“It instilled a work ethic,” Josh said. “Seeing my dad wake up super early when the sun wasn’t even out and then coming home when the sun was set, he worked his tail off to provide for our family and did a great job. He’s the most selfless man I know, and I think if I’m half the man he is, I’ll be all right in this world.”

Josh learned quite a bit about hard work from his mother, too. Until recently, LaVonne owned one of the few restaurants in town — aptly named The Farmer’s Daughter — and fed farmers every morning before they went to work.

“She’s the rock of our family,” Josh said.

Josh grew up a Fresno State football fan and tailgated with his parents and siblings at most home games. He attended the Bulldogs’ summer camps and even retrieved the kicking tee during a few games (former coach Pat Hill once yelled at him to get off the field). One of Josh’s most memorable moments was meeting Fresno State quarterback Derek Carr, another homegrown star, who now plays for the Oakland Raiders.

Josh Allen, right, grew up near Fresno State and was a fan of the Bulldogs and current Oakland Raiders QB Derek Carr. Josh Allen

In February 2014, when it was time for Josh to choose a college as a high school senior, the Bulldogs — and every other FBS team — weren’t interested. At the time, Josh was about 6-foot-3 and 180 pounds. He hadn’t attended the elite quarterback camps and wasn’t a widely known prospect. His high school team didn’t participate in many 7-on-7 camps because Josh and many of his teammates were busy playing baseball and other sports. He was the leading scorer on his basketball team and also pitched on the baseball team, reaching 90 mph with his fastball.

It wasn’t like Josh wasn’t trying to get coaches’ attention, though, especially those working at Fresno State. When his father played in a charity golf tournament with then-Bulldogs coach Tim DeRuyter, he told him about Josh’s desire to play for him. But DeRuyter decided Josh wasn’t the right fit. San Diego State offered Josh a chance to join the team as a walk-on, but coach Rocky Long couldn’t promise playing time. Left without a major college scholarship, Allen enrolled at Reedley College, about 65 miles southeast of Firebaugh, where one of the assistants was married to his cousin.

“He wasn’t too concerned when he went to junior college,” Joel said. “He knew there was going to be a big-time opportunity for him. He just needed a stage and he got one.”

Josh didn’t start the first three games at Reedley College, but he came off the bench to run for four touchdowns in the fourth game. After only a couple of starts, his offensive coordinator predicted FBS scholarship offers would soon start rolling in. But the offers never came, even after he’d grown to 6-foot-5, 238 pounds, and sent the mass email to every coach in the country.

“He saw himself as a big-time quarterback, even though he was in this small-time situation in a smaller body,” Wyoming offensive coordinator Brent Vigen said. “Not all kids see themselves that way.”

We have to assume that most coaches didn’t click on the link to Josh’s junior college highlights on hudl.com — a handful of coaches told ESPN that they receive dozens of unsolicited emails from recruits every day. If they had, they would have seen Allen display the arm strength, accuracy and mobility they covet.

On the first play of his highlight reel, he makes a back-shoulder throw from his end zone for a 38-yard gain. On another throw, he looks to his left, rolls to his right and fires a 37-yard strike into the back of the end zone — just before an outside linebacker viciously hits him near the sideline.

“Allen has an elite arm and frame (listed at 6-foot-5, 233 pounds) and is surprisingly fast and athletic for his size. He can make any throw, and his accuracy is terrific when his feet are set. A little bit of a gunslinger at times, he has all the tools to be an elite NFL QB. If he comes out, he’ll be in the running for the No. 1 pick in the 2018 NFL draft.”

The coaches also would have seen Josh keeping the ball on a zone-read, running up the middle and breaking a tackle for a 40-yard touchdown. On another run, he leaped over a safety trying to tackle him. The highlights were good enough to get Wyoming’s coaches interested — even if they’d gone to Reedley College to scout another potential transfer. And Vigen admits the Cowboys offered a scholarship to Josh only after they lost quarterback prospect Eric Dungey to Syracuse late in the recruiting process.

Wyoming coach Craig Bohl, who had guided the Cowboys to a 4-8 record in his first season in 2014 after winning three FCS national championships at North Dakota State, was the only FBS coach who made the long trek to Allen Ranch.

“He looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘We went all around the country and there’s only one quarterback we want and that’s your son. He’s going to be the face of our program,'” Joel recalled.

Before Josh committed to Wyoming, however, he made one last plea to Fresno State’s coaches. The Bulldogs had just received a commitment from quarterback Chason Virgil, a 6-foot-1, 170-pound high school prospect from Mesquite, Texas. Virgil was shorter and lighter than Josh was during his senior year at Firebaugh High, when he said the Bulldogs told him he didn’t fit the prototype of what they wanted in a quarterback.

After Virgil committed to Fresno State, Josh sent a terse email to an assistant coach: “6-1, 170?”

“Yeah, we got our guy,” the assistant responded. “Good luck.”

In Allen’s first season at Wyoming in 2015, he exited training camp as the No. 2 quarterback, behind Indiana transfer Cameron Coffman and ahead of freshman Nick Smith. Coffman hurt his knee in the season opener, a 24-13 loss to North Dakota, so Allen started against Eastern Michigan the next week. He led the Cowboys on an eight-play, 84-yard touchdown drive on his first series and had them moving again on the second drive.

But then Allen took on a defender at the end of a 24-yard run, breaking his collarbone in seven spots. Surgeons needed eight screws and a plate to repair it, and Allen said he didn’t leave his dorm room for three weeks after he was hurt. Wyoming finished 2-10.

“I was devastated,” he said.

Wyoming’s Josh Allen is among the college quarterbacks rising on NFL draft boards. AP Photo/Ryan Kang

In hindsight, sitting out the rest of the 2015 season might have been the best thing that could have happened. Vigen said Allen weighed 215 pounds when he arrived at Wyoming, but it was a “bad 215.” Allen spent the next several months working to get bigger and faster, and his collarbone was fully healed by the time preseason camp came the next year. It was during preseason practices in 2016 when Bohl and Vigen realized how good Allen might be.

Former San Francisco 49ers general manager Trent Baalke was watching a Wyoming practice in late August, before the 49ers played an exhibition game at the Denver Broncos. Baalke and a couple of scouts were there to evaluate tailback Brian Hill and a handful of other seniors, but Allen was the one who made the biggest impression.

“Your quarterback could be in an NFL camp right now,” Baalke told Bohl.

It was high praise for a player who had taken only 13 snaps at the FBS level. In the 2016 opener, Allen led the Cowboys to a 40-34 win over Northern Illinois in three overtimes. He scored the winning touchdown on a scramble, eluding three would-be tacklers to find the end zone. Allen finished his junior season with 3,203 passing yards with 28 touchdowns and 15 interceptions. The Cowboys upset Boise State 30-28 en route to winning the MWC Mountain Division title, but then they lost four of their last five games.

On the night of Jan. 9, Allen watched Clemson defeat Alabama 35-31 in the College Football Playoff National Championship. He watched the Tigers’ thrilling victory in his parents’ living room, along with agent Tom Condon and his associates. The next night, while dining at one of his favorite Mexican restaurants, Allen told his parents, siblings, girlfriend (Brittany Williams, a Fresno State cheerleader) and a few other friends that he was turning pro.

But Allen couldn’t sleep that night, and when Vigen called the next morning, he couldn’t muster the courage to answer.

“I couldn’t talk to him and tell him that I was declaring for the draft,” Allen said. “At that point, I knew there was something wrong with my decision. I’m a firm believer in your gut being undefeated.”

Vigen was driving to the Denver airport to make a recruiting trip to Wisconsin. He called Joel Allen, who told him that Josh was having second thoughts about turning pro. When Vigen’s plane landed, he immediately called Bohl, who told him that Josh had changed his mind and was staying in school.

“I asked him, ‘Do you want to get drafted or do you want to have a career?'” Bohl said. “We think this next year is going to really give him a better shot to have a long-term career in the NFL. I mean, he barely shaves now.”

Bohl wasn’t the only one who offered Josh advice. Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz, who played for Bohl at North Dakota State, also reached out to him when he was deciding what to do. Like Josh, Wentz was a late bloomer. College recruiters had largely overlooked him at Century High School in Bismarck, North Dakota, and he didn’t start for the Bison until his junior season.

After leading North Dakota State to back-to-back FCS national titles, he was the No. 2 pick of the 2016 NFL draft by the Eagles, the highest selection ever for an FCS player. He ended up starting 16 games as a rookie, throwing for 3,782 yards with 16 touchdowns and 14 interceptions.

Besides their small-town upbringing and the fact they played in a pro-style offense under Bohl, there are obvious physical similarities. While Vigen says Wentz is “off the charts” when it comes to maturity and other intangibles, he says Josh might be more physically talented.

Wentz’s advice to Allen was simple: Make sure you’re ready for the NFL.

“He seems like a bright kid with a bright future,” Wentz said. “I know he has a lot of talent and people are really high on him.”

One thing that Wentz said especially struck a chord with Josh: “He told me that I’d be stepping into a locker room full of 35-year-old men with families and children, who would be depending on me to win games and help secure their jobs.”

For one more year, at least, Josh prefers a smaller stage. His goal is to lead the Cowboys to a MWC championship and a New Year’s Six bowl game. Six months from now, he hopes everyone in America recognizes him.

“Everything happens for a reason,” he said. “I think that kids who are at smaller schools or don’t have offers from big schools can look at my story and continue to work hard. I preach to them that it doesn’t matter where you come from, it matters how you play and how you apply yourself. If you want something, go get it.”

The post Wyoming Cowboys Josh Allen goes from unknown to No. 1 pick in NFL draft buzz appeared first on Daily Star Sports.

from http://ift.tt/2x7zgnk from http://ift.tt/2x3zUoq

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Wyoming Cowboys Josh Allen goes from unknown to No. 1 pick in NFL draft buzz

LARAMIE, Wyo. — On Nov. 20, 2014, near the end of Josh Allen’s first season at junior college, he sent emails imploring someone — anyone, really — to give him a chance to be a Division I quarterback.

The recipient list included not only every FBS head coach, but also every offensive coordinator, defensive coordinator and position coach from Alabama to Washington, more than 1,000 emails in total. They started with the same salutation and the same desperate plea from a kid in tiny Firebaugh, California: I want to be your quarterback.

Courtesy of Josh Allen

His unsolicited emails went over like a loan request from a Nigerian prince. He received a handful of responses and only two — Eastern Michigan and Wyoming — eventually offered him a scholarship. (The Eagles actually withdrew their offer after he chose to visit Wyoming near the end of the early signing period for junior college transfers.)

“Yeah, I was disappointed,” Allen said. “I couldn’t believe it.”

On the bright side, it was one more scholarship offer than Allen had coming out of Firebaugh High School the year before, when not a single FBS or FCS program called.

“I truly felt like I was a Division I quarterback, and I’d felt that way for a long time,” Allen said. “I just wanted other people to see it.”

No one else saw it, at least not back then. But after throwing for more than 3,000 yards and 28 touchdowns for Wyoming last season, the quarterback that nearly every FBS team (but two) ignored might very well end up being one of the first players selected in the 2018 NFL draft.

Allen’s anonymity ended almost immediately after the final selection of the 2017 NFL draft was made on April 29, when ESPN reporter Adam Schefter said: “There was one personnel director who told me this week that you can put in the books, Josh Allen will be the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft next year.”

Of course, most of the people watching ESPN’s draft coverage that day probably wondered: Who in the hell is Josh Allen?

“Probably 90 percent of America,” Allen admitted. “That’s kind of been my M.O. my entire football career.”

There’s only one stoplight in Firebaugh, California, a farming town of about 7,500 residents in California’s Central Valley, about 40 miles west of Fresno. Originally known as Firebaugh’s Ferry, it was an outpost on the San Joaquin River during the California gold rush during the mid-19th century.

According to 2011 data from the U.S. Census Bureau, Latinos make up more than 90 percent of the town’s population, many of them migrant workers employed in agriculture.

Potentially the first three picks in the 2018 NFL draft. The reigning Heisman winner. A two-time top-four Heisman vote-getter. And that’s just the half of it. Add it all up, and 2017 is truly shaping up as college’s year of the quarterback.

“It’s a small town, everybody knows everybody and news travels fast,” said Allen. “It was an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything because it kind of shaped who I am today.”

Thousands of acres of alfalfa, pistachios and almond groves line the road to the ranch where Allen grew up. Joel Allen, Josh’s father, and his uncle, Todd Allen, grow about 3,000 acres of Pima cotton, cantaloupes and wheat against the backdrop of a coastal mountain range. Joel and Todd Allen are third-generation farmers.

Josh’s great-grandfather Arvid “Swede” Allen arrived at Ellis Island from Sweden in 1907 and settled in Firebaugh during the Great Depression. Josh’s grandfather A.E. “Buzz” Allen established the family farm in 1975 and was also a local school board member and civic leader (the high school gymnasium is named in his honor).

“Josh would be fourth-generation,” Joel Allen said. “But I don’t think he’s coming back to the farm.”

Joel and his wife, LaVonne, raised their four children on the ranch, and Josh, his younger brother Jason and sisters Nicala and Makenna were involved in sports at an early age. There is a basketball goal, swimming pool and batting cage at the ranch, and Josh grew up playing nearly every sport, including baseball, basketball, football, golf, gymnastics, karate and swimming. He and his brother, who plays first base at Saddleback College in Mission Viejo, California, also helped their father and uncle on the farm.

“It instilled a work ethic,” Josh said. “Seeing my dad wake up super early when the sun wasn’t even out and then coming home when the sun was set, he worked his tail off to provide for our family and did a great job. He’s the most selfless man I know, and I think if I’m half the man he is, I’ll be all right in this world.”

Josh learned quite a bit about hard work from his mother, too. Until recently, LaVonne owned one of the few restaurants in town — aptly named The Farmer’s Daughter — and fed farmers every morning before they went to work.

“She’s the rock of our family,” Josh said.

Josh grew up a Fresno State football fan and tailgated with his parents and siblings at most home games. He attended the Bulldogs’ summer camps and even retrieved the kicking tee during a few games (former coach Pat Hill once yelled at him to get off the field). One of Josh’s most memorable moments was meeting Fresno State quarterback Derek Carr, another homegrown star, who now plays for the Oakland Raiders.

Josh Allen, right, grew up near Fresno State and was a fan of the Bulldogs and current Oakland Raiders QB Derek Carr. Josh Allen

In February 2014, when it was time for Josh to choose a college as a high school senior, the Bulldogs — and every other FBS team — weren’t interested. At the time, Josh was about 6-foot-3 and 180 pounds. He hadn’t attended the elite quarterback camps and wasn’t a widely known prospect. His high school team didn’t participate in many 7-on-7 camps because Josh and many of his teammates were busy playing baseball and other sports. He was the leading scorer on his basketball team and also pitched on the baseball team, reaching 90 mph with his fastball.

It wasn’t like Josh wasn’t trying to get coaches’ attention, though, especially those working at Fresno State. When his father played in a charity golf tournament with then-Bulldogs coach Tim DeRuyter, he told him about Josh’s desire to play for him. But DeRuyter decided Josh wasn’t the right fit. San Diego State offered Josh a chance to join the team as a walk-on, but coach Rocky Long couldn’t promise playing time. Left without a major college scholarship, Allen enrolled at Reedley College, about 65 miles southeast of Firebaugh, where one of the assistants was married to his cousin.

“He wasn’t too concerned when he went to junior college,” Joel said. “He knew there was going to be a big-time opportunity for him. He just needed a stage and he got one.”

Josh didn’t start the first three games at Reedley College, but he came off the bench to run for four touchdowns in the fourth game. After only a couple of starts, his offensive coordinator predicted FBS scholarship offers would soon start rolling in. But the offers never came, even after he’d grown to 6-foot-5, 238 pounds, and sent the mass email to every coach in the country.

“He saw himself as a big-time quarterback, even though he was in this small-time situation in a smaller body,” Wyoming offensive coordinator Brent Vigen said. “Not all kids see themselves that way.”

We have to assume that most coaches didn’t click on the link to Josh’s junior college highlights on hudl.com — a handful of coaches told ESPN that they receive dozens of unsolicited emails from recruits every day. If they had, they would have seen Allen display the arm strength, accuracy and mobility they covet.

On the first play of his highlight reel, he makes a back-shoulder throw from his end zone for a 38-yard gain. On another throw, he looks to his left, rolls to his right and fires a 37-yard strike into the back of the end zone — just before an outside linebacker viciously hits him near the sideline.

“Allen has an elite arm and frame (listed at 6-foot-5, 233 pounds) and is surprisingly fast and athletic for his size. He can make any throw, and his accuracy is terrific when his feet are set. A little bit of a gunslinger at times, he has all the tools to be an elite NFL QB. If he comes out, he’ll be in the running for the No. 1 pick in the 2018 NFL draft.”

The coaches also would have seen Josh keeping the ball on a zone-read, running up the middle and breaking a tackle for a 40-yard touchdown. On another run, he leaped over a safety trying to tackle him. The highlights were good enough to get Wyoming’s coaches interested — even if they’d gone to Reedley College to scout another potential transfer. And Vigen admits the Cowboys offered a scholarship to Josh only after they lost quarterback prospect Eric Dungey to Syracuse late in the recruiting process.

Wyoming coach Craig Bohl, who had guided the Cowboys to a 4-8 record in his first season in 2014 after winning three FCS national championships at North Dakota State, was the only FBS coach who made the long trek to Allen Ranch.

“He looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘We went all around the country and there’s only one quarterback we want and that’s your son. He’s going to be the face of our program,‘” Joel recalled.

Before Josh committed to Wyoming, however, he made one last plea to Fresno State’s coaches. The Bulldogs had just received a commitment from quarterback Chason Virgil, a 6-foot-1, 170-pound high school prospect from Mesquite, Texas. Virgil was shorter and lighter than Josh was during his senior year at Firebaugh High, when he said the Bulldogs told him he didn’t fit the prototype of what they wanted in a quarterback.

After Virgil committed to Fresno State, Josh sent a terse email to an assistant coach: “6-1, 170?”

“Yeah, we got our guy,” the assistant responded. “Good luck.”

In Allen’s first season at Wyoming in 2015, he exited training camp as the No. 2 quarterback, behind Indiana transfer Cameron Coffman and ahead of freshman Nick Smith. Coffman hurt his knee in the season opener, a 24-13 loss to North Dakota, so Allen started against Eastern Michigan the next week. He led the Cowboys on an eight-play, 84-yard touchdown drive on his first series and had them moving again on the second drive.

But then Allen took on a defender at the end of a 24-yard run, breaking his collarbone in seven spots. Surgeons needed eight screws and a plate to repair it, and Allen said he didn’t leave his dorm room for three weeks after he was hurt. Wyoming finished 2-10.

“I was devastated,” he said.

Wyoming’s Josh Allen is among the college quarterbacks rising on NFL draft boards. AP Photo/Ryan Kang

In hindsight, sitting out the rest of the 2015 season might have been the best thing that could have happened. Vigen said Allen weighed 215 pounds when he arrived at Wyoming, but it was a “bad 215.” Allen spent the next several months working to get bigger and faster, and his collarbone was fully healed by the time preseason camp came the next year. It was during preseason practices in 2016 when Bohl and Vigen realized how good Allen might be.

Former San Francisco 49ers general manager Trent Baalke was watching a Wyoming practice in late August, before the 49ers played an exhibition game at the Denver Broncos. Baalke and a couple of scouts were there to evaluate tailback Brian Hill and a handful of other seniors, but Allen was the one who made the biggest impression.

“Your quarterback could be in an NFL camp right now,” Baalke told Bohl.

It was high praise for a player who had taken only 13 snaps at the FBS level. In the 2016 opener, Allen led the Cowboys to a 40-34 win over Northern Illinois in three overtimes. He scored the winning touchdown on a scramble, eluding three would-be tacklers to find the end zone. Allen finished his junior season with 3,203 passing yards with 28 touchdowns and 15 interceptions. The Cowboys upset Boise State 30-28 en route to winning the MWC Mountain Division title, but then they lost four of their last five games.

On the night of Jan. 9, Allen watched Clemson defeat Alabama 35-31 in the College Football Playoff National Championship. He watched the Tigers’ thrilling victory in his parents’ living room, along with agent Tom Condon and his associates. The next night, while dining at one of his favorite Mexican restaurants, Allen told his parents, siblings, girlfriend (Brittany Williams, a Fresno State cheerleader) and a few other friends that he was turning pro.

But Allen couldn’t sleep that night, and when Vigen called the next morning, he couldn’t muster the courage to answer.

“I couldn’t talk to him and tell him that I was declaring for the draft,” Allen said. “At that point, I knew there was something wrong with my decision. I’m a firm believer in your gut being undefeated.”

Vigen was driving to the Denver airport to make a recruiting trip to Wisconsin. He called Joel Allen, who told him that Josh was having second thoughts about turning pro. When Vigen’s plane landed, he immediately called Bohl, who told him that Josh had changed his mind and was staying in school.

“I asked him, ‘Do you want to get drafted or do you want to have a career?'” Bohl said. “We think this next year is going to really give him a better shot to have a long-term career in the NFL. I mean, he barely shaves now.”

Bohl wasn’t the only one who offered Josh advice. Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz, who played for Bohl at North Dakota State, also reached out to him when he was deciding what to do. Like Josh, Wentz was a late bloomer. College recruiters had largely overlooked him at Century High School in Bismarck, North Dakota, and he didn’t start for the Bison until his junior season.

After leading North Dakota State to back-to-back FCS national titles, he was the No. 2 pick of the 2016 NFL draft by the Eagles, the highest selection ever for an FCS player. He ended up starting 16 games as a rookie, throwing for 3,782 yards with 16 touchdowns and 14 interceptions.

Besides their small-town upbringing and the fact they played in a pro-style offense under Bohl, there are obvious physical similarities. While Vigen says Wentz is “off the charts” when it comes to maturity and other intangibles, he says Josh might be more physically talented.

Wentz’s advice to Allen was simple: Make sure you’re ready for the NFL.

“He seems like a bright kid with a bright future,” Wentz said. “I know he has a lot of talent and people are really high on him.”

One thing that Wentz said especially struck a chord with Josh: “He told me that I’d be stepping into a locker room full of 35-year-old men with families and children, who would be depending on me to win games and help secure their jobs.”

For one more year, at least, Josh prefers a smaller stage. His goal is to lead the Cowboys to a MWC championship and a New Year’s Six bowl game. Six months from now, he hopes everyone in America recognizes him.

“Everything happens for a reason,” he said. “I think that kids who are at smaller schools or don’t have offers from big schools can look at my story and continue to work hard. I preach to them that it doesn’t matter where you come from, it matters how you play and how you apply yourself. If you want something, go get it.”

The post Wyoming Cowboys Josh Allen goes from unknown to No. 1 pick in NFL draft buzz appeared first on Daily Star Sports.

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