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theliterateape · 7 years ago

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Picking at Scabs Prevents Any Sort of Healing

By Don Hall

I read somewhere about a man in Texas who was cheated by a group of men. I believe it was over a few hundred dollars but I can’t quite remember (and an exhaustive search on the internet gleaned no results, so maybe I just heard it). Regardless of the amount, the man’s sense of injury and injustice was so heavily defined, he spent the rest of his life and all of his fortune chasing these men down. He managed to get each one arrested but in the process, lost his family, his property and everything he had achieved up to the point of the theft.

The very definition of a Pyrrhic victory.

Binge-watching Cobra Kai on YouTube Red the other day while marinating in NyQuil, it hit me. This story of Johnny Lawrence and Daniel Larusso is a tale of arrested development, an inability to get over the past, and the repeating cycles we have in our lives. As I spent five plus hours reliving their rivalry, with both men dealing with a legacy of bullying and trials and victory or defeat, the fact that I am their age was not the only similarity.

Like Johnny, there is a portion of myself still stuck in the ’80s, that time when I came of age. The music is still the most badass, the ideas of masculine toughness still reside in my bones, the feelings of some sorts of injustices done to me still simmering just behind my eyes. The reminder of the successes of those who done me wrong and went on to thrive, burn like the billboard of Daniel does Johnny. Likewise, I am like Danniel, still riding high on a legacy of achievements long past, holding onto the past with a fevered grip yet unable to stop myself from unlearning all the valuable lessons that make me who I am.

When I watch Johnny look at a room full of kids signed up to learn his brands of karate and bemoan that they’re all “a bunch of pussies,” I get that. While I’m doing my best to unlearn that paradigm, I laugh because it’s true in my 1980s infused eyes. Yet, like Johnny, I do see the essential humanity in these weak but angry losers and question the wisdom of refusing to adjust my behavior to meet their demands.

On the better side of my nature, like Daniel, I struggle to remember the lessons my mentors taught me about balance and the values of hard work without recognition, allowing the past its place without having it take over my entire brain space.

I was never the bully that Johnny was and I was never the weak nerd that Daniel was but the amalgam of the two finds some sort of psychic purchase in my own assessment of self.

I remember, when I was fretting about my relationship with Alice (for something a bit more detailed, check out Peculiar Journeys Ep. 31), that I had incredibly itchy legs. Like, psychosomatically itchy. No lotion could quell the itch. And, at one point, I scratched a bloody divot in my left leg about seven inches long that stayed scabbed up for almost two years later. I felt like maybe I had cancer because the fucking thing simply would not fully heal. I knew I was likely picking and scratching at it at night but it seemed kind of ridiculous that it stayed for so long.

One day, I decided that the scab was indicative of my not getting over the anxieties of being with Alice. I went and culled every picture, every piece of memorabilia, everything that might inadvertently remind of that time. I got rid of the very notion that the relationship had ever existed. I moved on in some ways.

And the fucking scratch on my leg healed.

Let’s say, for shits and giggles, that a young woman gets into a car accident. She was driving and hit a patch of black ice, spun out of control, flipped her car and smashed her head up against the windshield hard enough to cause multiple lacerations on her scalp and a serious concussion. She is trapped in her up-turned vehicle for two hours until paramedics can pull her out. This is bound to cause some serious trauma. Certainly no one is to blame but the trauma exists nonetheless.

As the years pass, she still suffers from this experience. She can’t get in cars without feeling a sense of extreme panic. She won’t fly in planes. Subway? No way. Her entire life becomes an adjustment for her feelings of unsafely, of impending disaster, of the potential of losing control of that which she should be able to control. She lives in a near constant state of fear.

Her feelings are completely normal and understandable. They make sense. She is certainly not crazy but it is obvious that if she wants to continue to live what most call a normal American life, she needs to ultimately get over it. She needs to move beyond it. Yes, there are automobiles everywhere and the sight of them trigger her raw emotional pain. “Get over it” seems flip and unhelpful but “get over it” is exactly what she needs to do to function (unless she moves to a remote corner of Montana and buys a horse and wagon.) “Get over it” feels dismissive of the trauma but it is clear and specific language that offers a pathway to recovery. A goal. To move past the trauma. To let it go and live.

On the other side of town, another young woman is at an office party or a work function and a male colleague makes a pass. Perhaps a grotesquely specific one that renders her speechless and feeling diminished and helpless. She feels her powerlessness in a male-dominated business in a way that she had, up to that point, pretended to not mind, to not really see, to perhaps justify as “that’s just the way it is.” She goes to HR but is reminded “Human Resources” is soft language for “Corporate Damage Control” and receives nothing but platitudes and suggestions that she dress less provocatively. If she presses the issue, she’s labeled and ostracized. She lives in a state of constant anxiety and a nagging, unrelenting sense of injustice and fear.

As the years pass, she still suffers from this experience. The sight of men in power suits and ties, laughing over drinks, is a sinister reminder. Much of her life is adjusted to meet the demands of her trauma. The helplessness turns to anger and she feels angry all the time. She drinks too much but only alone where she cannot be unguarded around men. She starts to wear more provocative clothing just daring other men to pull the same demeaning shit on her again. Her every day becomes a referendum on this one experience magnified to see that specific act everywhere and in every interaction.

She is not crazy or wrong to feel this way. But, in order to begin to live a life without this trauma lording over her every moment, she has to “get over it.” She has to find a way, through counseling or mentorship or karate or fucking yoga, to move past the past. To unring the bell. It doesn’t help her to understand that this unwanted sexual advance is somehow less egregious than if he had actual grabbed her ass and certainly less offensive than if he had forced himself on her. Pointing that out only serves to minimize her own personal damage. Yet, despite the contextual truth, she still needs to find some way out of the existential woods.

My buddy (and fellow Ape contributor) Mike Vinopal, works for an organization that slogans “It’s OK to not be OK,” and I agree with that. I also believe that if that is the total sum up of the experience of trauma, there’s something missing.

“It’s OK to not be OK… but it’s not OK to accept it and stay that way.”

In Cobra Kai, both Johnny and Daniel deal with this concept in the slow recognition that both characters have as they try to recapture and resolve the rivalry that defined them. Daniel has to relearn the lessons he was taught by teaching them to another, and Johnny has to struggle with the boy he was as he trains the 2018 version of Daniel. Both characters are trying to evolve — to be better men than they currently have become rather than settling for the men they are. Unsurprisingly, only one gets it. But that’s why there will be a second season.

Scabs are the body’s way of healing a wound. If you continue to pick at that scab, it will never heal and become a scar. Scars are the body’s way of saying you survived the injury. The skin of a scar is denser and thicker than the skin surrounding it. Scabs signal that you aren’t done healing. Scars are a sign that you survived the wound.

I read somewhere about that man in Texas who, to make himself feel whole, destroyed his entire life picking at that scab.

#Cobra Kai #Daniel Larusso #Johnny Lawrence #scabs and scars

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hpzen1805 · 7 years ago

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So, it's been a crazy ride these last few weeks.

Work was geting bad again, my supervisor (who has made a point to tell me that she's my colleague, not my supervisor, despite the fact that she runs the attorney's entire practice and requires that all work product be reviewed by her) started being horrible to me again. And it took this crazy thing and talking it over with my partner to realize that she's been gaslighting me this whole time.

Fun.

Things were getting bad and I was super stressed and not doing well at all (things were like when I started high school; I would wake up feeling sick to my stomach and almost vomit every morning because that's how my body deals with stress. Fun, right?)

But I had this class for work that was out of the office with my old senior paralegal, and it turned out to be just what I needed. She kind of knew what was going on already because she and I keep in contact, but we were able to actually talk about what was going on with both of us. I told her about the craziness at work and she told me how amazing her new office is. She also made a point to tell me that they were hiring and that she had talked me up so well that they wanted to see my resume. I didn't think it was going to go anywhere, but I needed some hope, so I agreed to send it to her.

At the class, I realized just how little these people who supposedly "wanted to teach me" about my field had really been keeping from me. The class went over things that I had been told were too advanced for me so simply that I found out that there was a whole exemption that we were utilizing that I had never been told about and which made the calculations that I had been struggling with make so much more sense. Of course, when I had done those calculations, I had been given a wkrd processing sheet to work with, and no explanation of why each part did what it did or what was supposed to be used to accomplish it. When I was told I did it wrong, the explanation was that "[I] couldn't know that because it comes with experience".

No. It comes from someone actually explaining shit. Just saying.

Anyway, my friend got me an interview, and it went really well. I had an offer within the week, and with how stressed my coworkers' behavior was making me, I was more than happy to accept. However, I still felt like I owed that place some modicum of loyalty (hey, I'd been there for a year and - as ive found out is like all gaslighters - things didn't always seem horrible; sometimes they were nice to me and let me hear them shit-talk others so that I knew what they did behind my back) I felt like I should give a months notice to do right by them.

So I signed my offer letter, gave a months notice, and started working with my non-supervisor to organize the tasks that I had and figure out what I could accomplish before I left.

Weird thing, though: when I gave notice, the attorney wasn't there, and my non-supervisor had always said to tell her first if we were leaving so she could "make things easier with [the boss]", so I did. She was very nice about it and said they would support my decision.

Then she asked where I was going, which I had purposely not said because another former employee worked there and I didn't want to make things weird or give them an opening to try and bad-mouth me (I don't trust people who smile and make polite chit-chat with someone and immediately start talking shit about them the second they leave the room, sorry not sorry). I told her that I didn't want to say because I wanted to avoid any awkward situations. This was her response:

"Why? It'll be more awkward if you're not upfront with us. We need to know in case there's a conflict. If there's a conflict [the boss] will only want you to stay two weeks, but if there isn't, she'll take the whole month. "

I - like a dumbass - was startled into telling her because it sounded legit. Come to find out from my friend at the new place that it was total bullshit, and they were just being nosy. Apparently, when the last girl from our firm left for my new firm, they called to talk to the hiring attorney about her (idk what they said, but my friend basically told me that the attorney knew better than to listen to them).

Anyway, I was ready to stick out the month and blow through my task list as fast as I could. I mean, I was super into it! I wanted to do the best I could because im a firm believer in kill 'em with kindness. Seriously, my motto is "I am a ray of goddamn sunshine and everyone Will Fucking Know It". So when I went in on Tuesday, I was ready to get down to business (to defeat... the tasks? Idk, it's late, and I'm loopy). And my supervisor had seemed like she was really supportive on monday when I told her, so I thought things would go relatively smoothly.

I was so wrong.

I went into our planning meeting, and it was like I was transported back three weeks; every little thing I did or said was scrutinized and found wrong, she was annoyed by all the tasks I had that she had told me to push back, and she decided she wanted to finalize 7 of my tasks that day. Since 5 had been reviewed BY HER before, I was hoping it wouldn't be too bad.

It was.

I had made all the updates that she asked, but she found further fault with the product that she had previously overlooked, and of course, it was my fault. So I tried to fix things and get them done, but by this time, her passive-aggressive attitude and constant sighing to express her "boredom" (something she's explained before as a reaction to "people not doing things the way she wants them done quickly enough"; that's a story for another day) was really fucking with my stress levels. There was also a thing with some documents that I didn't have, which I had asked her about weeks before, and she had said that the client had kept them and we had just kept scans after the meeting; that day, she wanted to know why I didn't have them, and I reminded her of that conversation; she got mad and said that I should have them and started asking when I had last had them (I never had them) and then went to check her office. Lo and behold! They were in her office! Who woulda thunk?! Then she proceeded to tell me that it was my fault for not getting them from her and that she never told me the client kept them becuase they would never keep them (which I had pointed out was weird when we talked about it and she assured me it was a rushed decision and out kf the norm).

Basically, the whole day was a shit-show in a hell-hole with my own personal torturer who specializes in emotional fuckery.

So I went in on Wednesday after almost puking when I woke up. After crying out of frustration to my partner the night before. After talking to my partner and my parents and being told by all of them that I could, in fact, just leave if I wanted to, and that the stuff my supervisor was doing was super shady (forcing me to tell her where I was going to work, and telling me not to tell hr because the boss would want to do it "on her own terms" because of the bad relationship between her practice and the main branch of the firm).

And after all of that, I came in to a rude response to my check-out email (which was in response to a rude reminder that I had to send one "EVERYDAY before I leave") and a passive aggressive note written in all caps on a post it that a new task was an ASAP and that I needed to see her IMMEDIATELY when I finished it.

And I snapped.

I sent an email to hr giving my notice and saying that I didn't want to upset my boss, so if she hadn't sent it over Please dont tell her I did. I got a very concerned response, and an offer to talk if I needed it. I went to themorning meeting with our practice grouo and made polite small talk with my supervisor, who was using the same voice on me that she uses on the associate attorneys that she thinks are stupid and doesn't like, but has to be nice to. And at that point, I was Done.

I went back to the office and finished the ASAP. I finished my admin stuff that had been lingering. I cleaned up my desk and updated my task list. I checked that my shelves were organized. I gathered up any research that I had done that didn't have client names on it, any notes I had without client names, and any personal items I had. And I left.

Well, first I gave her the asap and said I almost threw up (which I had in the midst of organizing) and that I needed to go home. (The response was: "Leave what you have in my box and hand flap to suggest leaving". Because, since she works while sick or giving birth, everyone else is expected to as well, and if you don't, you're weak and beneath her)

Then, I went to hr and explained what had been going on. I was so stressed that I cried again (luckily, not much, cuz I hate crying in front of anyone, but especially in a professional setting), but she was super nice about it and asked what I would like to do. I said that I wanted to cut my notice to the usual two weeks, and use my sick and vacation time to cover that week and a half that I had left. I just couldn't do it anymore, and my partner's voice was in the back of my head "You gave your notice. They can't fire you, and you don't have to take their crap.", along with my mom's voice telling me "The only one stopping you, is you." And the hr lady said I could!

So I left.

And I feel SO MUCH BETTER.

Am I still worried that they'll bad mouth me to my new firm and ruin my reputation with the attorneys at their firm? Yes.

Am I super nervous about starting a new job? Fuck yes, I am.

But I am out of that toxic place, and I have a new opportunity to do the best I can with my life.

And I am so grateful for that. I am so grateful for the people I have in my life. And I'm even grateful for what those people did, because I can learn from it, and I can grow as a person so that I am NEVER LIKE THEM.

So, if you've made it this far, I'm sorry for the rant, but also: Please don't give up. It may seem like you're in a horrible situation, but you CAN find a way out. Talk to people, don't be afraid that you're bothering them. Or do it anyway, because guess what? You Deserve Better. Even if someone (including yourself) is telling you that you don't. You Deserve Better. And if you feel like no one believes in you, or you can't do it? I believe in you. And I know you can do it. If I can, anyone can.

Please, don't give up.

#personal #rant #sorry

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lodelss · 4 years ago

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Soraya Roberts | Longreads | March 2020 | 10 minutes (2,569 words)

“Can I talk to you in private?” No one wants to hear those words. The impulse is to assume you’ve done something egregiously wrong. The expectation is that you are about to be punished. The conviction is so strong that the only good thing about it is that, at least initially, you can suffer without anyone else knowing about it. You might even thank the punisher for coming to you directly, for keeping it between just the two of you. It’s the least someone can do when they are about to theoretically ruin your life.

A lot has been written about privacy online, in terms of information, in terms of being policed. Ecuador is currently rushing to pass a data protection law after a breach affected as many as 20 million people — more than the country’s population. A lot has also been written about callout and cancel culture, about people being targeted and cast off (if only temporarily), their entire history dredged up and subjected to ex post facto judgement; Caroline Flack, the British television presenter who recently committed suicide while being hounded in the press and online amid allegations she had assaulted her on-again, off-again boyfriend, was seen as its latest casualty. But there hasn’t been a lot of talk about the hazier in-between, about interpersonal privacy online, about missteps once dealt with confidentially by a friend or a colleague or a boss, about the discrete errors we make that teach equally discrete lessons so as not to be repeated in public. That’s not how it is anymore, not in a world tied together by social media. Paper trails aren’t just emails anymore; they take in any move you make online, most notably on social media, and the entire internet is your peevish HR rep. We’re all primed — and able — to admonish institutions and individuals: “Because of social media, marginalized people like myself can express ourselves in a way that was not possible before,” Sarah Hagi wrote in Time last year. “That means racist, sexist, and bigoted behavior or remarks don’t fly like they used to.”

Which is to say that a lot of white people are fucking up, as usual, but now everyone, including white people and people of color, are publicly vilifying them for it as tech’s unicorn herders cash in on the eternal flames. And it’s even worse than in the scarlet letter days: the more attention the worse the punishment, and humiliation online has the capacity for infinite reach. As Sarah John tweeted after one particular incident that left a person hospitalized, “No one knows how to handle cancel culture versus accountability.”

* * *

“Is that blood?” That was my first question after a friend of mine sent me a message with a link to a few tweets by a person I’d never heard of, the editor-in-chief of a small site. The majority of the site’s staff had just resigned, the impetus being a semi-viral tweet, since deleted, of a DM the editor had sent a Twitter chat in 2016: “I was gonna reply to this with ‘nigga say what?’ Then I was like holy shite that’s racist, I can’t say that on twitter.” According to Robert Daniels at the Balder and Dash blog on rogerebert.com, tweeters, mostly white, piled on — some even called the EIC’s workplace demanding they be fired — before the office-wide resignation. Videos embedded in the tweets I saw showed the editor crying through an apology. (Longreads contacted the editor for comment; they’ve asked to remain anonymous for their health and safety.)

Initially I thought the videos were just a mea culpa, but then I saw a flash of red. Though the details are muddied by a scrubbed social media history, the editor appeared to have harmed themselves. Ex-colleagues rushed to their aid, however, and they were eventually hospitalized. If that wasn’t horrible enough, a filmmaker named Jason Lei Howden decided to avenge the EIC. With scant information, apparently, he targeted individuals on Twitter who weren’t involved in the initial pile-on, specifically blaming two people of color for the crisis — Valerie Complex and Dark Sky Lady, who had not in fact bullied anyone but had blogged about Howden. The official Twitter account of Howden’s new film, Guns Akimbo, got mixed up in the targeted attacks, threatening the release of the film.

There are multiple levels to this that I don’t understand. First, why that DM was released; why didn’t the person simply confront the EIC directly? Second, why did the editor’s staff, people who knew them personally, each issue individual public statements about their resignations into an already-growing pile-on? (I don’t so much wonder about the pile-on itself because I know about the online disinhibition effect, about how the less you know a person online, the more you are willing to destroy them.) Third, why the hell did that filmmaker get involved, and without any information? Why did the white man with all the clout attack a nebulous entity he called “woke twitter” — presumably code for “people of color” — and point a finger at specific individuals while also denying their response to one of the most inflammatory words in the English language (didn’t they realize it was an “ironic joke,” he scoffed)? As Daniels wrote, “This became a cycle of blindspots, and a constant blockage of discussing race, suicide, and alliance.” Why, at no point, did anyone stop to think about the actual people involved, about maybe taking this private, to a place where everything wasn’t telegraphed and distorted?

Paper trails aren’t just emails anymore; they take in any move you make online, most notably on social media, and the entire internet is your peevish HR rep.

I had the same question after the BFI/Thirst Aid Kit controversy. In mid-February, the British Film Institute officially announced the monthlong film series THIRST: Female Desire on Screen, curated by film critic Christina Newland and timed to coincide with the release of her first book, She Found It at the Movies (full disclosure: I was asked to participate, but my pitch was not accepted). The promotional image included an illustration of a woman biting her lip, artwork similar to that of three-year-old podcast Thirst Aid Kit (TAK), a show that covers the intersection of pop culture and thirst. Newland later told The Guardian she wondered about the “optics,” but as a freelancer with no say on the final design, she deferred to the BFI. She had in fact twice approached TAK cohost Nichole Perkins to contribute to her book (the podcast’s other cohost is Bim Adewunmi). Perkins told me in an email that she wanted to, but her work load eventually prevented her. And while TAK did share the book’s preorder link, the BFI ultimately failed to include the podcasters in the film series as speakers, or even just as shout-outs in the publicity notes — doubly odd, given that Adewunmi is London-based. Quote-tweeting the BFI’s announcement and tagging both the institute and Newland, TAK responded, “Wow! This sounds great. Hope our invitation arrives soon!”

The predictable result was a Newland pile-on in which she was accused of erasing black women’s work, followed by a TAK pile-on — though Perkins told me her personal account was “full of support and kindness” — for claiming ownership over a term that preceded them. All three women ended up taking time away from Twitter (which is a sacrifice for journalists whose audience depends on social media) though Newland has since returned. I asked Perkins if she had thought about dealing with the situation privately at first. “I did consider reaching out to Christina before quote-tweeting, yes,” she wrote. “I wonder if she considered reaching out to us, especially after she saw the artwork for the season and admittedly noticed ‘something going on with the optics,’ as she is quoted as saying in The Guardian.” Eventually, the BFI contacted Perkins and Adewunmi and released a statement apologizing “for their erasure from the conversation we are hoping to create from this season” and announcing a change of imagery. They also noted that Newland, as a guest programmer, was not responsible for their marketing mistake, though no reason was given for their omission. “I have no idea why the BFI or Ms Newland didn’t include Thirst Aid Kit in the literature about the Thirst season,” Adewunmi wrote to me. “I was glad, however, to see the institution acknowledge that initial erasure, as well as issue an apology, in their released statement.”

At around the same time, a similar situation was unravelling in the food industry. Rage Baking: The Transformative Power of Flour, Fury, and Women’s Voices, an anthology edited by former Food Network VP Katherine Alford and NPR’s Kathy Gunst, was published in early February. The collection of more than 50 recipes and essays presents baking as “a way to defend, resist, and protest” and was supposedly inspired by the 2016 election. The hashtag #ragebaking was used to promote the book on social media in January, which brought it to the attention of a woman named Tangerine Jones, whose Instagram followers believed the idea had been stolen from her and alerted her — and the rest of the world. Unprompted by Jones, Alford and Gunst DM’d her to say they had learned the term elsewhere and that the book was “a celebration of this movement.” Jones called them out publicly, publishing their DMs in a Medium essay entitled “The Privilege of Rage,” in which she described how she came up with the concept of rage baking — using the #ragebaking hashtag and the ragebaking.com URL — five years ago, as an outlet for racial injustice. “In my kitchen, I was reminded that I wasn’t powerless in the face of f**kery,” she wrote. Jones’s supporters started a pile-on, her article shared by big names like Rebecca Traister, who had contributed to the collection and requested that her contribution be removed from future editions.

In an abrupt turn of events, the Jones advocates were promptly confronted with advocates of the book, who redirected the pile-on back at Jones for kicking up a fuss. “It is beyond f**ked up that my questioning the authors’ intentions and actions is being framed as detrimental to the success of other black women,” she tweeted. Their silence resounding, the Simon and Schuster imprint ultimately issued a statement that failed to acknowledge their mistake and instead proposed “in the spirit of communal activism” to include Jones in subsequent printings. Unappeased, the baker called out the “apology” she received privately from Alford and Gunst, who told her they were donating a portion of the proceeds to the causes she included in her post (though their public apology didn’t mention that), and asked if she would be interviewed as part of the reprint. “Throwing black women under the bus is part of White Feminist legacy,” Jones tweeted. “That is not the legacy I stand in, nor will I step in that trap.”

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According to Lisa Nakamura, a University of Michigan professor who studies digital media, race, and intersectionality, cancel culture comes from trying to wrest control in a context in which there is little. It’s almost become a running joke the way Twitter protects right-wing zealots while everyone else gets pummeled by them. It follows then that marginalized populations, the worst hit, would attempt to use the platform to reclaim the power they have so often been denied. But as much as social media may sometimes seem like the only place to claim accountability, it is also the worst place to do it. In a Medium post following their Howden hounding, Dark Sky Lady argued that calling out is not bullying, which is true — but the effects on Twitter are often the same. “The goal of bullying is to destroy,” they wrote. “The goal of calling out and criticizing is to improve.” Online, there appears to be no improvement without destruction in every direction, including the destruction of those seeking change. On one end, a group of white people — the EIC, Newland, Alford, Gunst — was destroyed professionally for erring; on the other were the POC — Perkins, Adewunmi, Jones — who were personally destroyed, whose pain was minimized, whose sympathy was expected when they got none. The anger was undoubtedly justified. Less justified was the lack of responsibility for how it was deployed — publicly, disproportionately, with countless people’s hurt revisited on specific individuals, all at once.

We know how pile-ons work now; it’s no defense to claim good intentions (or lack of bad intentions). There were few gains for either side in any of these cases, with the biggest going to the social media machine that feeds on public shame and provides no solution, gorging on the pain of everyone involved without actually providing constructive way forward, creating an ever-renewing cycle of suffering. A former intern for the ousted EIC tweeted that she understood the impulse to critique cancel culture and support the editor, but noted that “there is something sad about the fact that my boss used a racial slur, and I am not allowed to criticize.”

* * *

So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed author Jon Ronson told Maclean’s in 2015 that one of his biggest fears is being defined by one mistake, and that a number of journalists had basically told him, “I live in terror.” I am no exception. Just recently I experienced a comparatively tame callout on Twitter, and even that moderate critique made me drop an entire book project, wonder about a job opportunity that subsequently dissolved, and second-guess every story idea I’ve had since. The situation was somewhat helpful in making me a more considerate person but was exponentially more helpful in making me anxious and in inspiring hateful fantasies about people I had never met. I am 100 percent certain that the first gain would have been made just as successfully had people spoken to me privately and would have saved me from the second part becoming so extreme that I had to leave social media to recalibrate. The overwhelming sense I’m left with is that if I say something that someone doesn’t like, even something justifiable, my detractors will counter with disproportionate force to make whatever point it is they want to make about an issue that’s larger than just me. What kind of discourse is that which mutes from the start, which turns every disagreement into a fight to the death, which provides no opportunity for anyone to learn from their failures? How do we progress with no space to do it?

“I think we need to remember democracy. When somebody transgresses in a democracy, other people give them their points of view, they tell them what they’ve done wrong, there’s a debate, people listen to each other. That’s how democracy should be,” Ronson told Vox five years ago. “Whereas, on social media, it’s not a democracy. Everybody’s agreeing with each other and approving each other, and then, if somebody transgresses, we disproportionately punish them. We tear them apart, and we don’t want to listen to them.” The payment for us is huge — almost as big as the payout for the tech bros who feign impartiality when their priority is clearly capital and nothing else. This is a punitive environment in which we are treating one another like dogs, shoving each other’s noses into the messes we have made. Offline, people are not defined by the errors they make, but by the changes they make when they are confronted with those errors, a kind of long game that contradicts the very definition of Twitter or Facebook or Instagram. The irony of public shaming on social media is that social media itself is the only thing that deserves it.

* * *

Soraya Roberts is a culture columnist at Longreads.

#IFTTT #Blogger

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thedivinefish · 6 years ago

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TGIWednesday and a download for being more playful... like our pets!

TGIWednesday News

Worked/played with my doctor friend yesterday in Tampa and her sweet dog Jake. He is now 13 but it’s been a rocky road (not the ice cream kind) to get him there - he tests for having liver stones as of right now. The procedure to biopsy is thousands of dollars and then what? is what I would ask. We've got to look at it from a point of view of what's kind for Jake and are we helping him have his best life? Realistically, this little Heinz 57 dachshund that doesn’t owe us a thing and has had a good and helpful, playful life, is it kind to put him through a costly biopsy/recovery? and again... for what? We can use what we know to work on/for our pets in other ways to keep them as happy & healthy as we can. What actually came up for Jack as a folk kind of remedy was Essaic Tea. So research and read about that for yourself if you or someone you know has cancer. Good stuff. When I saw Jake yesterday he was running and playing and loving and sweet, giving me kisses and isn’t that awesome? More of that please! Most of us could learn a lot from our animals, less brooding and foreboding and more play! Check out the discount we've got going on this month for our Pet & Animal healing audio MP3 & if you want to book a session for you & your pet - there's a special deal for that too! Click here now.

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

Every Tuesday at 9pm EST - JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW Join me and my guests weekly on Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713)-955-0594 It's your chance to get FREE intuitive messages on my weekly radio show. My guests are some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet! Tune in every Tuesday night LIVE or just catch the replay & YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening! Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

To listen online, click the date links below. Listen here to Yesterday's Replay with Special Guest: Laura Romeiro Listen here April 16th Special Guest: Dr. Michael L. Mosley Listen here April 23rd - Special Guest: Tiffany White Sage Woman Listen here April 30th Special Guest: Rev. Debbie Dienstbier

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family. Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails of thanks each and every week!

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

Live In-Person Appearances

DOWSERS UNLIMITED - THE VILLAGES If you're in the Central Florida area, join me for our annual pilgrimage to The Villages for the Dowsers Unlimited meeting. We will be demonstrating My Liquid Fish® Change made simple® LIVE on stage. There will be limited opportunities to purchase private mini-sessions before and after the event. Please see all info below thanks. Wednesday, April 17, 4 PM Dowsers Unlimited Wildwood Tri-City American Legion Post 18 401 E Atlantic Highway State Road 44, Wildwood, Florida 34785

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule and I am now there in person EVERY FRIDAY scheduling 15 and 30 minute appointments. Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Friday: April 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

"I have found this to be a great modality. I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily. I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with. I like how easy this is to take on the road. I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes "The Tackle Box" & "Spiritual Healing Techniques" ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

From the Fish Box

Question: "I am a LVN/LPN is my title approved for the certification training and what does that entail? Is it approved and or recognized by hospitals?" -O.M. Answer: "Thanks O, at this time our course is not accredited for continuing education. It is super woo woo ethereal/new age....but it's fine if you would like to take the first level and then decide if you would like to take the next one. I tell folks if you can read at an 8th grade level, listen to the radio and watch TV - YOU can do it! And complete it and learn it!" - Jimmy

"Hi! just wanted you to know that after our session, I made 1 call to the state agency, and in about 5 minutes that situation was resolved! Thank You!" - P.M./ New Jersey

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

APRIL 10th - "Today I will exercise my right to choose. I will go for what I want, I will roll the dice. I will claim what belongs to me. I will make decisions on my own terms on my own time and in my own way. I will stand up for what I believe in."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

TGIWednesday Download

~ BEING MORE PLAYFUL ~ Today I will be more playful like my pets and animal friends in the outdoors. I believe, think, know and feel that it’s possible to have more fun. I am ready, willing and able to play more and in place of harder, I will work smarter. I know when, where, how and why to enjoy, fantasize, laugh and be entertained at the simple things in life. I am asking for this frequency change, and download in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series

This month our audio MP3 for MyBeliefWorks™ for Facilitating Pet & Animal Healing is on sale for $39 (30% off). This audio MP3 will address whatever your challenge may be with your pet. Everything from digestive disorders, behavioral problems, misbehaving, separation anxiety, fear of car rides or the vet, ADD/ADHD, fear of missing out, aggression, biting, lashing out, to disease processes, or an upcoming operation or procedure. Or you can choose to get Audio w/30min pet session for $111.

"I wanted to take a moment to explain what this audio has done for my Peaches and our family. When we first adopted Peaches our kitty she was so timid, scared and sad. She had no love to give and seemed like a lost cause. Not wanting to give up on her we listened to the Pet Therapy Audio from Jimmy Mack. After listening twice it was like magic. Not only did she start to come around, she even accepted the man of the house and is a completely different cat. Thank you Jimmy Mack!" - J.G. / Florida

Buy Pet Healing MP3 - $39

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading and channeling these over the years & they keep getting better.

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557 EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Transformational Healing of Body, Mind & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations! Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit Audio MP3 Downloads and books to improve your life! Get Certified in My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for Supplements http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2019 All Rights Reserved

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger | Digital Marketing Specialist | SMBeConnected Solutions Digital Marketing Solutions & Support for Conscious Entrepreneurs www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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divinefishingtips · 6 years ago

Text

TGIWednesday and a download for being more playful... like our pets!

TGIWednesday News

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

LEARN MORE HERE

From the Fish Box

"Hi! just wanted you to know that after our session, I made 1 call to the state agency, and in about 5 minutes that situation was resolved! Thank You!" - P.M./ New Jersey

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

TGIWednesday Download

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series

Buy Pet Healing MP3 - $39

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

TGIFunny

Forward

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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365dailyaffirmations · 6 years ago

Text

TGIWednesday and a download for being more playful... like our pets!

TGIWednesday News

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

LEARN MORE HERE

From the Fish Box

"Hi! just wanted you to know that after our session, I made 1 call to the state agency, and in about 5 minutes that situation was resolved! Thank You!" - P.M./ New Jersey

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

TGIWednesday Download

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series

Buy Pet Healing MP3 - $39

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

TGIFunny

Forward

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

advancedthetapractitioner · 6 years ago

Text

TGIWednesday and a download for being more playful... like our pets!

TGIWednesday News

FREE Weekly LIVE Healings and Messages

Check out TheJimmyMackHealingShow.com for a full listing & all replays!

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

LEARN MORE HERE

From the Fish Box

"Hi! just wanted you to know that after our session, I made 1 call to the state agency, and in about 5 minutes that situation was resolved! Thank You!" - P.M./ New Jersey

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

TGIWednesday Download

MyBeliefWorks Audio Series

Buy Pet Healing MP3 - $39

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

TGIFunny

Forward

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

lindyhunt · 6 years ago

Text

22 Questions Job Candidates Should Ask the Hiring Manager (and HR) in a Job Interview

"Do you have any questions for me?"

We've all been on the receiving end of that question in an interview. If you're prepared, you've probably got some good questions you usually cycle through.

But we want to be better than "good" in an interview. We want to be standout candidates that hiring managers are excited to extend an offer to.

One thing you can do to separate yourself from other applicants? Ask good questions.

"I'm always surprised at the lack of good questions candidates have, and I always respect the candidates that ask insightful questions during interviews," says Andrew Quinn, former VP of Learning and Development at HubSpot.

To help you prepare to stand out at your next interview, here are some questions that'll make hiring managers' ears perk up. Then, discover some valuable questions you might want to start the recruitment process with when you're on the phone with human resources (HR). Try them at your next interview and see how the conversation changes.

Questions to Ask the Hiring Manager During Job Interviews

1. How does this role contribute to larger company goals?

It's not terribly difficult to find a candidate that can execute on a role. It is terribly difficult to find a candidate that can not only execute on their role, but also understand how it fits into larger goals. This includes being able to self-manage, prioritize high-value activities, and grow their role in a direction that aligns with the company's growth.

How It Helps You

This information can be hard to come by if your company isn't very communicative or transparent, so this is a good chance to get that information while the gettin's good, and use it to guide your decisions if you land the role.

2. What do the most successful new hires do in their first month here?

This question shows that you're the type of person who likes to hit the ground running, instead of spending a week filling out HR forms. It also shows that you recognize patterns of success and want to replicate only the most effective performers.

How It Helps You

Every company has its weird nuances, its own environment, and its own unspoken expectations. This helps you start with a little bit of the insider info so you don't suffer a case of "if I knew then what I knew now" in six months.

3. What metrics would you use to measure success in this role?

Asking a question like this shows that you're goal-oriented and aren't afraid to be held accountable for those goals. You don't shirk accountability. You welcome it -- and will work hard to hit the goals you're responsible for.

How It Helps You

It's shocking how many people don't actually know what they want from their employees beyond a vague idea of some work that needs to get done. Asking this question will force a hiring manager to figure it out -- and then can communicate it to you, so you can execute on it.

4. What are some of the challenges or roadblocks one might come up against in this role?

A question like this indicates that you're already envisioning yourself in the role and thinking through a plan of attack, should you land the gig. It's also a sign that you're well aware that no job comes free of roadblocks. It shows that not only are you not afraid to deal with those challenges, but you're also prepared for them.

How It Helps You

The response you receive should help you better understand some of the less-than-ideal aspects of the job -- difficult colleagues, bureaucratic processes, internal politics, and so on. You can use that information to decide that the role really isn't a good fit for you ... or that you're up for the challenge.

5. What is the biggest challenge the team has faced in the past year?

While the interviewer might be trying to paint a pretty perfect picture of what working on the team might look like, asking this question will help you uncover some of the realities the team has been facing recently. If you end up joining, you'll inevitably hear about these challenges -- and you may have to help solve them, too. This is a question our principal recruiter Katie Donohue says she likes to hear during interviews.

How It Helps You

It really helps to know what challenges you could find yourself or your team up against ahead of time. In some cases, it could affect whether you accept the role. Not only that, but learning about these challenges could give you some great insights into the steps the team has taken to overcome these challenges already.

6. Why did you decide to work at this company?

This question gives an interviewer a chance to do two self-serving things: talk about themselves and perform a no-holds-barred sales pitch on the company. For promising candidates, the sales opportunity is welcomed. And most people love any excuse to talk about themselves. ;)

How It Helps You

This gives you insight into what motivates your future colleague or manager, as well as insight into what the company offers its employees. If those all line up with what you're looking for in a job, you've got yourself a good fit.

7. You've been at this company for while. What keeps you motivated?

If your interviewer has been at the company for several years, understanding why could give you some really interesting insight into the company, how it treats its employees, and a taste of what motivates the people who work there. Plus, it shows you've done your research on the interviewer, which is always an impressive sign.

How It Helps You

Depending on the interviewer's answer, you might learn something about the company's career training, leadership opportunities, workplace flexibility, internal job opportunities, and more. You might dig a little deeper by following up with related questions, like, "What do you enjoy most about working here?"

8. Where do people usually eat lunch?

Do they take the time to go out? Do people bring lunch but eat in groups? Do folks normally eat at their desks because they're too busy to socialize? Asking this question serves as a great way to find out a little bit about the company culture. Plus, this is a more lighthearted question that might relax a stiffened atmosphere or lead to a conversation about shared interests.

How It Helps You

Along with learning about company culture, it doesn't hurt to get a few good lunch suggestions for the future.

9. What is your company's customer or client service philosophy?

This is an impressive question because it shows that you can make the connection between how the company thinks about its customers and the end result. In other words, how the customer is treated on a day-to-day basis, and in turn, how that shows up in the product.

How It Helps You

While you might be able to find a canned response to this question on the company's website, it'll be useful -- and possibly eye-opening -- for you to hear it more candidly from an employee. How the company treats its customers could end up informing your decision to join if you are offered the job, especially if you're applying for a job where you'll be communicating directly with customers.

10. What are some of the less tangible traits of successful people on this team?

Ever work with people that just get it? That's who hiring managers are looking for. This question demonstrates that you understand a job is about more than just going through the motions. Successful people have a specific frame of mind, approach, attitude, work ethic, communication style, and so on -- and you want to know what that mix looks like at this company.

How It Helps You

Because these characteristics are often hard to pin down, this question forces a hiring manager to articulate that "it factor" they're really looking for -- even if it wasn't written in the job description.

11. What behaviors do the most successful members of the team exhibit?

Asking a question like this shows you're interested in getting a practical example of what success looks like to the manager of the team you'd be joining. Plus, when you phrase the question in this way, "you leave no room for a hypothetical answer," says Dave Fernandez, a former recruiting team lead at HubSpot. Instead, you're pushing the hiring manager to think about their top performer.

How It Helps You

Because this question forces an example, the answer to this question will give you a strong idea of what success actually looks like. That way, you'll learn what it takes to impress your colleagues and be a star candidate.

12. What behaviors do the people who struggle most on the team exhibit?

Follow question #9 with this question, and you'll show the hiring manager that you're really trying to get a concrete idea of what to do and what not to do as an employee on the specific team you're applying to join, says Fernandez. And while this question can make a manager uncomfortable, it's impressive because it shows that the candidate is not afraid to ask tough questions.

How It Helps You

First, you'll get an idea of what poor performance looks like, which will help you set expectations for the position. Second, you'll learn how the hiring manager handles a tough question like this -- which can teach you something about how office politics are handled in general.

13. How do you deliver negative feedback?

If you would be working with the person interviewing you, this is another tough question that can give you some insight into how the team works. It pushes the hiring manager to think about how he or she would handle an uneasy situation, while at the same time showing your level of maturity in that that you (realistically) expect to receive tough feedback sometimes.

How It Helps You

Just like different people take negative feedback differently, different people give negative feedback differently. Does this person tailor their feedback approach depending on whom they're giving feedback to? Do they make feedback a two-way street? Their feedback style -- especially when it comes to negative feedback -- will help you understand how well you would be able to work with them.

14. Do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications?

This question shows that you're not afraid of critical feedback -- in fact, you welcome it. Interviewers tend to make note of red flags -- whether it be something on your resume or something you said -- to discuss with a colleague following the interview. This question gives them the green light to ask about any of the things that are holding them back from being 100% on board with hiring you.

How It Helps You

You get a chance to address concerns face-to-face without being too confrontational. This could be the difference between an offer and a rejection -- or maybe even a higher opening offer.

Questions to Ask HR Manager During Interview

What do you like most about working here?

How has this position changed over time?

What does my potential team's role hierarchy look like? How does this position fit into it?

What are the main things HR does to assist the department I would be working for?

What are you most excited about in this company's future?

What is something the company is still working on getting right?

What should I expect to wear on my first day?

Is there anything about my application that makes you doubt my qualifications right now?

Before you meet the person you'd be working for, you'll likely meet a member of HR via a phone screening. Although this initial phone call is a standard first step for most organizations today, it's also an opportunity for HR to take notes on you as a candidate and relay those notes to the hiring manager.

Make a good impression on HR -- it matters more than you think.

Here are some appropriate questions to ask at this initial stage of the recruitment process so you can put your best foot forward.

1. What do you like most about working here?

This question can be a breath of fresh air to HR reps who primarily answer questions about benefits (which are valuable questions, don't misunderstand). Asking an HR employee what they like about the company tells them you care about the company's culture and that you care about the opinion of someone whom you might not work with directly.

In other words, talking to people like people is always a good idea.

2. How has this position changed over time?

It's easy to forget that someone might have once held the position you're applying for -- or, more importantly, that the role might have evolved since it came on your radar. Don't be afraid to ask HR what this job looked like before you were interested in it. This can include what the responsibilities looked like, how many other people currently hold this position at the company, and even where HR thinks it's going in the future.

Getting HR's perspective on the history of your potential role can give you unbiased insight into your department, and let HR know that you're interested in your future at the company -- not just your present.

3. What does this team's role hierarchy look like? How does this position fit into it?

This is another big-picture question that HR should be equipped and eager to answer for you. You might not want to bluntly ask "who would I report to?" It can show resistance or insecurity before you ever set foot in the role. But, it's still something you might want to know.

Phrasing your question the way it's phrased above is a professional gesture that can reveal who your boss would be and indicate to the company that you're mature enough to put your role in context of your department (an admirable move).

4. What are the main things HR does to assist the department I would be working for?

Similar to the first question on this list, this question shows you know HR is more than just the company's first line of defense during the recruitment process.

Take your phone screening as an opportunity to become acquainted with the human resources department and find out how you'd interact with them on a regular basis from your department. It's a friendly question and one that shows your interest in how the whole company operates -- not just your own team.

5. What are you most excited about in this company's future?

Want to inject a little positivity into your phone call with HR? Ask them what has them pumped up right now. What motivates them to get up in the morning? Put yourself in HR's shoes: Wouldn't you love to answer this question, especially if you love the company you work for?

Asking the HR rep what they're most excited about shows them that you, too, thrive on enthusiasm. It also brings the best out in your interviewer -- a good headspace for HR to be in as they hand you off to the hiring manager.

6. What is something the company is still working on getting right?

As a flip-side to the seventh question above, also consider asking HR what they think the company's greatest challenge is right now. While other candidates might be skittish around a business's weaknesses, this question shows HR you're willing to accept the current negatives and join them on righting the ship.

Note the phrasing of this question, too. By asking HR this question precisely this way, you put focus on the positive and show the company that you have natural optimism (a desired trait in future leaders, just so you know).

7. What should I expect to wear on my first day?

Dress code can be a touchy subject in interviews -- you don't want to reveal that you have deal-breakers so early into a hiring process. But, it is an important aspect of the job for many professionals. Sometimes business wear just isn't your thing, but you still want to maximize your chances at getting a job offer.

If you want to get an idea of the company's dress code without suggesting it's a big deal to you, simply ask HR what you're expected to wear on your first day. It's a harmless question that gives you the information you need at the same time.

8. Is there anything about my application that makes you doubt my qualifications right now?

Cap off your phone screening with this confidence play. Asking HR what they're skeptical about with respect to your application can show them you welcome feedback and you can take criticism. It also helps you better prepare for your next interview.

Want more interview tips? Find out what questions design candidates should be asked in interviews.

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merricollings09-blog · 7 years ago

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Power Powers Dividend Achiever Dog Increases In July.

Acute collapse in canines is actually certainly not simply a collapsing incantation; this is a very sudden loss of strength. It is unidentified for sure exactly what kinds or even kinds of pet dogs went into the mixing bowl to develop the Toller, but aged pictures advise that there is ranch collie, cocker spaniel, St. John's Pet and also most likely some Irish Setter were actually combineded with the indigenous dogs used by Indigenous Mi' qmak individuals for tolling waterfowl. Encourage your canine to be handled by offering treats permanently behavior when being actually touched. Furthermore, a pet dog with two coatings are going to shed the lower coat to ensure that they may be a little bit of cooler in the warmer months. In reality, they could fall down lot of times for the following hr or so. Canine proprietors would certainly such as for their canine to simply put down as well as remainder after a huge mal confiscation, however dogs are constantly pretty restless and nervous after confiscations. Reproduced in maritime Canada for centuries, the Toller is actually the formal canine Bobbyforyou.De from Nova Scotia. The pet needs to replace it. Create sure there is actually sufficient water readily available if this scenario happens. You must microchip your canine immediately, and also you'll relax easier understanding that if just about anything occurs to your pet dog, you'll possess a better chance of recovering him.

Inevitably, the ideal species from pet dog developed -one that possessed a premium athletic inclination, light and swift action, distinct animals feeling, and a good personality that effortlessly matched its handler. A great deal of pet dog managers are likewise right now producing their very own natural dog food items in the home, as well as this is constantly better than the scrap the business family pet food items manufacturers are supplying our dogs. . There's too much for a dog which's not 100% taught to be able to answer the orders. Considering that a particular breed is, the remarkable information is that merely suitable to a condition doesn't imply that every dog from that kind will definitely obtain the difficulty. Some individuals continue to supply their pet the very same food they were supplying them in the past as well as simply placed that in a blender or food processor. They were able to observe the pet ´ s howling, conserve the survivors, and naturally transport the pet dog up in to the saving ship. Yet if you spend very close attention you'll find out that The Dog Whisperer is truly not concerning pets in all... but about just how your ideas influence every little thing (and every person) around you. Not wishing to delay, illumination being necessary to my leisure activity, I marched which is actually when I noticed the sniffer canine. When the manager carries out not take suitable steps to effectively teach as well as interact socially the canine, it can reveal. Take the toy or even food out of the pet and inflict your child to render to the dog. If your pet dog gets on the couch, put a slipcover on that to help cut down the pollen that accumulates on the chair.

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lodelss · 5 years ago

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A Crying Public Shame

Soraya Roberts | Longreads | March 2020 | 10 minutes (2,569 words)

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Paper trails aren’t just emails anymore; they take in any move you make online, most notably on social media, and the entire internet is your peevish HR rep.

Kickstart your weekend reading by getting the week’s best Longreads delivered to your inbox every Friday afternoon.

* * *

Soraya Roberts is a culture columnist at Longreads.

from Blogger https://ift.tt/38JJOdx via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Blogger

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