#Goat curing me!!
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Kendrick is slowly but surely dissolving the cat hair currently lodged into my retinas. Thank you kdot
Siento aquí tu presencia!!! La noche de anoche!!!!!!! Y nos ponemos a llorar!!!!!!!!!!!
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simon fairchild is like that one guy who listens to both abba and miracle musical and everybody's like "what ARE you." when they see his playlists
#postings inspired by recent writings#with that being said#my other beliefs include:#mcr fan melanie king#the cure fan gerry keay#tv girl fan helen richardson#other ones ive already mentioned (paramore fan jonah magnus)#(destroy boys fan daisy tonner)#(vundabar fan mike crew)#(the mountain goats fan jonathan sims)#(the taxpayers fan gertrude robinson)#im just listening to voulez-vous rn and imagining simon absolutely vibing to it#that mental image makes me happy#the magnus archives#tma#simon fairchild#tma shitpost
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i will say. while drawing all those hsys i think im more preferential to her with grey-ish colored eyes she has in the ln artwork vs the webtoon.....
#shes so beautifol tho idgaf truly but thats if i had a choice#MY GOAT...... THEY WILL NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU !!!!!#shes sooo fun to draw....#also while im here i might as well ramble teehee#i wanted to draw a matching ysh lag train but i got lazy...#inabakumori discography did crazy things to me.... (cure a baby artblock i had)#mars text
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I need cute fanart of Gaius and Dragoon hanging out together tbh. Making potions. Having some stupid argument about magic while eating soup. Idk.
#I think it would cure me#two weird old wizards#oh they would have some spectacular arguments these two#dragoon is just merlin with no patience and no filter#gaius getting mad at old!merlin and calling him a cranky old goat#merlin and gaius#merlin
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i understand that spicy foods generally are not recommended for those experiencing nausea but every time i get sick i crave indian food with the force of a thousand suns
#i hauve a migraine. the only cure is goat biryani#i looove my mom. not sure if she loves me enough to pick some up for me bc she can't stand the smell of indian food#gonna try. mother please i am dying. you have to get my goat biryani for me it's the only way.#i Can go get it myself im just trying to not agitate my Head#SHES PICKING IT UP FOR ME YEEHAW
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i dont want to sound mean here – this is meant as genuine advice because you seem like youre really going through it – have you considered seeing a counsellor/therapist about your grief? if its manifesting as rage thats not good, man, i know this is a lot to go through but its okay to ask for help if you feel brave enough so you dont hurt yourself (or someone you care about) more
yeah i probably just need to go back to therapy, i quit last semester bc stuff got to overwhelming (probably a sign i should have stayed but felt like a bad idea at the time)
im not at risk of hurting myself unless you count emotional damage so dont worry abt that i promise it's not that bad 👍
#i dont regret leaving bc i dont think i would have passed my classes if i had stayed but#i think i need to go back#idk how to tell them internet man made me sad tho i feel like im gonna sound insane#i could just talk abt relatives instead and not say specifically who it is?#havent even processed those tbh. also not a good sign#there's been like. 3. 2 of them this week 🧍♂️#not to traumadump or whatever but my blog my rules#i wish i had likd. literally any coping mechanism. it being winter is NOT helping me. i'd be cured if i could go for a walk#asks#anons#ugh it's 3am i have class tomorrow i need to go see my advisor bc my job shadowing person QUIT aaaaaaugh#goat cant stay winning 😔#ask to tag#?#grief#idk man
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Genshin NPC’s my beloved
#no joke I care mor abt them than playable characters sometimes#you’re telling me you wouldn’t move heaven and earth for Isak?#not to mention those two random assassin guys in fontaine#that I first saw while jumping over a boat#I’ve spoken to them once to start their quest and I already love them#that random grandpa that lives outside of Aaru village is the goat#that chasm explorer lady#the thelxie npc’s#the fishing association npcs and the fact that they fucking adore fishing#the guy why trying to cure his sisters illness and she gets over it and becomes and adventurer in mondstadt#Ella musk being the only person not from the abyss order attempting to learn hillichurlian and their culture#that guy who see a random girl as a sister figure and trying to make a boat for them outside o fmondstadt#all the soldiers of the watatsumi resistance and the civilians living on the island#that random disguised treasure hunter girl in Liyue from dailies#I have a favorite child npc from every nation#genshin npc#genshin impact#npc#non player character#fontaine#genshin inazuma#mondstadt#liyue#genshin impact lore
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”I was born in the wrong generation” I sigh, flopping onto my bed. You look up to me, saying “oh what, you wish you lived in the eighties?”.
“How did you know?” I reply. “I just really think that being a farmer in 80 AD would solve all my problems y’know”
#This came to me while I was doing the dishes#God I hate doing the dishes#Also unrelated but I think that if I were to wake up to a misty morning where I don’t have to go to school#I just have to go out n feed the goats?#That’d cure me of all my stress
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Foods of Vestur
@broncoburro and @chocodile provoked me into doing some illustrated worldbuilding for Forever Gold ( @forevergoldgame ), an endeavor I was happy to undertake. Unbeknownst to me, it would take the better part of a week to draw.
In the process, I conjured about an essay's worth of fantasy food worldbuilding, but I'm going to try and keep things digestible (pardon my pun). Lore under the cut:
The Middle Kingdom
The Middle Kingdom has ample land, and its soil, landscapes, and temperate climate are amenable to growing a variety of crops and raising large quantities of livestock. The Midland palate prefers fresh ingredients with minimal seasoning; if a dish requires a strong taste, a cook is more likely to reach for a sharp cheese than they are to open their spice drawer. Detractors of Middle Kingdom cuisine describe it as bland, but its flavor relies on the quality of its components more than anything.
KEY CROPS: wheat, potatoes, carrots, green beans, apples, pears, and grapes KEY LIVESTOCK: Midland goats, fowl, and hogs
ROAST FOWL: Cheap and easy to raise, fowl is eaten all over Vestur and by all classes. Roasted whole birds are common throughout, but the Middle Kingdom's approach to preparation is notable for their squeamish insistence on removing the head and neck before roasting, even among poorer families. Fowl is usually roasted on a bed of root vegetables and shallots and served alongside gravy and green beans.
GOAT RIBEYE: Vestur does not have cattle – instead it has a widely diversified array of goats, the most prominent being the Middle Kingdom's own Midland goat. The Midland goat is a huge caprid that fills the same niche as cattle, supplying Vestur with meat and dairy products. Chevon from the Midland goat is tender with a texture much like beef, though it retains a gamier, “goat-ier” taste. It is largely eaten by the wealthy, though the tougher and cheaper cuts can be found in the kitchens of the working class. Either way, it is almost always served with gravy. (You may be sensing a pattern already here. Midlanders love their gravy.)
FETTUCCINE WITH CHEESE: Noodles were brought to the Middle Kingdom through trade with the South and gained popularity as a novel alternative to bread. The pasta of Midland Vestur is largely eaten with butter or cream sauce; tomato or pesto sauces are seldom seen.
CHARCUTERIE WITH WINE: Charcuterie is eaten for the joy of flavors rather than to satiate hunger, and therefore it is mainly eaten by the upper class. It is commonly eaten alongside grape wine, a prestigious alcohol uniquely produced by the Middle Kingdom. The flavor of grape wine is said to be more agreeable than the other wines in Vestur, though Southern pineapple wine has its share of defenders.
BREAD WITH JAM AND PRESERVES, TEA SANDWICHES, & ROSETTE CAKE: Breads and pastries are big in the Middle Kingdom. The Middle Kingdom considers itself the world leader in the art of baking. Compared to its neighbors, the baked goods they make are soft, light, and airy and they are proud of it. Cakes in particular are a point of ego and a minor source of mania among nobility; it is a well-established cultural joke that a Middle Kingdom noble cannot suffer his neighbor serving a bigger, taller cake. The cakes at Middle Kingdom parties can reach nauseatingly wasteful and absurdist heights, and there is no sign of this trend relenting any time soon.
CHOWDER, FARMER'S POT PIE, GRIDDLECAKES, EGGS, CURED MEATS: If you have the means to eat at all in the Middle Kingdom, you are probably eating well. Due to the Midland's agricultural strength, even peasant dishes are dense and filling. Eggs and cured meats are abundant, cheaper, and more shelf stable than fresh cuts and provide reprieve from the unending wheat and dairy in the Midland diet.
STEWED APPLES AND PEARS, JAM AND PRESERVES: The Midland grows a number of different fruits, with apples and pears being the most plentiful. In a good year, there will be more fruit than anyone knows what to do with, and so jams and preserves are widely available. Stewed fruit has also gained popularity, especially since trade with the Southern Kingdom ensures a stable supply of sugar and cinnamon.
NORTHERN KINGDOM - SETTLED
The Northern Kingdom is a harsh and unforgiving land. Historically, its peoples lived a nomadic life, but since the unification of the Tri-Kingdom more and more of the Northern population have opted to live a settled life. The “settled North” leads a hard life trying to make agriculture work on the tundra, but it is possible with the help of green meur. The Northern palate leans heavily on preserved and fermented foods as well as the heat from the native tundra peppers. Outsiders often have a hard time stomaching the salt, tang, and spice of Northern cuisine and it is widely considered “scary.”
KEY CROPS: potatoes, beets, carrots, tundra pepper KEY LIVESTOCK: wooly goats, hares*
GOAT POT ROAST: Life up north is hard work and there is much to be done in a day. Thus, slow cooked one-pot meals that simmer throughout the day are quite common.
VENISON WITH PICKLES: Game meat appears in Northern dishes about as much as farmed meat – or sometimes even more, depending on the location. Even “classier” Northern dishes will sometimes choose game meat over domesticated, as is the case with the beloved venison with pickles. Cuts of brined venison are spread over a bed of butter-fried potato slices and potent, spicy pickled peppers and onions. The potatoes are meant to cut some of the saltiness of the dish, but... most foreigners just say it tastes like salt, vinegar, and burning.
MINER STEW: While outsiders often have a hard time distinguishing miner stew from the multitude of beet-tinged stews and pot roasts, the taste difference is unmistakable. Miner's stew is a poverty meal consisting of pickles and salt pork and whatever else is might be edible and available. The end result is a sad bowl of scraps that tastes like salt and reeks of vinegar. The popular myth is that the dish got its name because the Northern poor began putting actual rocks in it to fill out the meal, which... probably never happened, but facts aren't going to stop people from repeating punchy myths.
RYE TOAST WITH ONION JAM: Rye is hardier than wheat, and so rye bread is the most common variety in the North. Compared to Midland bread, Northern bread is dense and gritty. It is less likely to be enjoyed on its own than Midland bread, both because of its composition and because there's less to put on it. Unless you've the money to import fruit spreads from further south, you're stuck with Northern jams such as onion or pepper jam. Both have their appreciators, but bear little resemblance to the fruit and berry preserves available elsewhere in Vestur.
HARE DAIRY: Eating hare meat is prohibited in polite society due to its association with the haretouched and heretical nomadic folk religions, but hare dairy is fair game. Hare cheese ranges from black to plum in color, is strangely odorless, and has a pungent flavor akin to a strong blue cheese. It is the least contentious of hare milk products. Hare milk, on the other hand, is mildly toxic. If one is not acclimated to hare milk, drinking it will likely make them “milk sick” and induce vomiting. It is rarely drunk raw, and is instead fermented into an alcoholic drink similar to kumis.
MAPLE HARES AND NOMAD CANDY: Maple syrup is essentially the only local sweetener available in the North, and so it is the primary flavor of every Northern dessert. Simple maple candies are the most common type of sweet, though candied tundra peppers – known as “nomad candy” – is quite popular as well. (Despite its name, nomad candy is an invention of the settled North and was never made by nomads.)
TUNSUKH: Tunsukh is one of the few traditions from the nomadic era still widely (and openly) practiced among Northern nobility. It is a ceremonial dinner meant as a test of strength and endurance between political leaders: a brutally spiced multi-course meal, with each course being more painful than the last. Whoever finishes the dinner with a stoic, tear-streaked face triumphs; anyone who cries out in pain or reaches for a glass of milk admits defeat. “Dessert” consists of a bowl of plain, boiled potatoes. After the onslaught of tunsukh, it is sweeter than any cake.
NORTHERN KINGDOM – NOMADIC NORTH
Although the Old Ways are in decline, the nomadic clans still live in the far North beyond any land worth settling. They travel on hareback across the frozen wasteland seeking “meur fonts” - paradoxical bursts of meur that erupt from the ice and provide momentary reprieve from the harsh environment. The taste of nomad food is not well documented.
KEY CROPS: N/A KEY LIVESTOCK: hares
PEMMICAN: Nomadic life offers few guarantees. With its caloric density and functionally indefinite “shelf life,” pemmican is about as close as one can get.
SEAL, MOOSE: Meat comprises the vast majority of the nomadic diet and is eaten a variety of ways. Depending on the clan, season, and availability of meur fonts, meat may be cooked, smoked, turned to jerky, or eaten raw. Moose and seal are the most common sources of meat, but each comes with its own challenges. Moose are massive, violent creatures and dangerous to take down even with the aid of hares; seals are slippery to hunt and only live along the coasts.
WANDER FOOD, WANDER STEW: When a green meur font appears, a lush jungle springs forth around it. The heat from red meur fonts may melt ice and create opportunities for fishing where there weren't before. Any food obtained from a font is known as “wander food.” Wander food is both familiar and alien; the nomads have lived by fonts long enough to know what is edible and what is not, but they may not know the common names or preparation methods for the food they find. Fish is simple enough to cook, but produce is less predictable. Meur fonts are temporary, and it's not guaranteed that you'll ever find the same produce twice - there is little room to experiment and learn. As a result, a lot of wander food is simply thrown into a pot and boiled into “wander stew,” an indescribable dish which is different each time.
CENVAVESH: When a haretouched person dies, their hare is gripped with the insatiable compulsion to eat its former companion... therefore, it is only proper to return the favor. Barring injury or illness, a bonded hare will almost always outlive its bonded human, and so the death of one's hare is considered a great tragedy among nomads. The haretouched – and anyone they may invite to join them – sits beside the head of their hare as they consume as much of its rib and organ meat as they can. Meanwhile, the rest of the clan processes the remainder of the hare's carcass so that none of it goes to waste. It is a somber affair that is treated with the same gravity as the passing of a human. Cenvavesh is outlawed as a pagan practice in the settled North.
HARE WINE: While fermented hare's milk is already alcoholic, further fermentation turns it into a vivid hallucinogen. This “hare wine” is used in a number of nomad rituals, most notably during coming of age ceremonies. Allegedly, it bestows its drinker with a hare's intuition and keen sense of direction... of course, truth is difficult to distinguish from fiction when it comes to the Old Ways.
SOUTHERN KINGDOM
The Southern Kingdom is mainly comprised of coast, wetland, and ever-shrinking jungle. While the land is mostly unfit for large-scale agriculture, seafood is plentiful and the hot climate is perfect for exorbitant niche crops. What they can't grow, they obtain easily through trade. Southerners have a reputation for eating anything, as well as stealing dishes from other cultures and “ruining” them with their own interpretations. KEY CROPS: plantains, sweet potato, pineapple, mango, guava, sugarcane KEY LIVESTOCK: fowl, marsh hogs, seals
GLAZED EEL WITH FRIED PLANTAINS: A very common configuration for Southern food is a glazed meat paired with a fried vegetable. It almost doesn't matter which meat and which vegetable it is – they love their fried food and they love their sweet and salty sauces in the South. Eel is a culturally beloved meat, much to the shock and confusion of visiting Midlanders.
NARWHAL STEW: Narwhal stew is the South's “anything goes” stew. It does not actually contain narwhal meat, as they are extinct (though the upper class may include dolphin meat as a protein) – instead, the name comes from its traditional status as a “forever soup,” as narwhals are associated with the passage of time in Southern culture. Even in the present day, Southern monasteries tend massive, ever-boiling pots of perpetual stew in order to feed the monks and sybils who live there. Narwhal stew has a clear kelp-based broth and usually contains shellfish. Beyond that, its ingredients are extremely varied. Noodles are a popular but recent addition.
FORAGE: The dish known as “forage” is likewise not foraged, or at least, it hasn't been forage-based in a good hundred years at least. Forage is a lot like poke; it's a little bit of everything thrown into a bowl. Common ingredients include fish (raw or cooked), seaweed, fried noodles, marinated egg, and small quantities of fruit.
HOT POT: Hot pot is extremely popular, across class barriers, in both the South proper and its enclave territories. This is due to its extreme flexibility - if it can be cooked in a vat of boiling broth, it will be. Crustaceans and shellfish are common choices for hot pot in the proper South, along with squid, octopus, mushrooms, and greens.
FLATBREAD: The Southern Kingdom doesn't do much baking. The vast majority of breads are fried, unleavened flatbreads, which are usually eaten alongside soups or as wraps. Wraps come in both savory and sweet varieties; savory wraps are usually stuffed with shredded pork and greens while sweet wraps – which are much more expensive – are filled with fruit and seal cheese.
GRILLED SKEWERS, ROAST SWEET POTATO: While a novel concept for Midlanders and Northerners, street food has long been a part of Southern Kingdom culture. You would be hard pressed to find a Southern market that didn't have at least three vendors pushing grilled or fried something or other. Skewers are the most common and come in countless configurations, but roast sweet potatoes are a close second.
CUT FRUIT AND SEAL CHEESE: Fresh fruit is popular in the South, both local and imported. While delicious on its own, Southerners famously pair it with seal cheese. Which leads me to an important topic of discussion I don't have room for anywhere else...
THE SOUTH AND CHEESE: Since the South doesn't have much in the way of dairy farming, cheese is somewhat rare in their cuisine – but it is present. And important. Cheese is the domain of the Church. Common goat dairy imported from the Middle Kingdom is turned to cheese by monks in Southern monasteries and sold to the Southern public, yes, but as you have noticed there is another cheese prominent in the Southern Kingdom diet: seal cheese. Seal cheese is unlike anything else that has ever been called cheese; the closest it can be compared to is mascarpone. It is is a soft, creamy cheese with a mild flavor and an indulgent fat content. It is used almost exclusively as a dessert, though it is only ever mildly sweetened if at all. It is extremely costly and held in high regard; the most religious Southerners regard it as holy. Dairy seals are a very rare animal and raised exclusively in a small number of Cetolist-Cerostian monasteries, where they are tended and milked by the monks. Due to their status as a holy animal, eating seal meat is forbidden. Eating their cheese and rendering their tallow into soap is fine though.
(HEARTLAND SOUTH) SOUTH-STYLE GOAT: The Heartland South is a Southern enclave territory in the Middle Kingdom. Visiting Midland dignitaries oft wrongly assume that because the Heartland South is in Middle Kingdom territory, Heartland Southerners eat the same food they do exactly as they do. They are horrified to find that familiar sounding dishes like “goat with potatoes” are completely and utterly unrecognizable, drenched in unfamiliar sauces and spices and served alongside fruit they've never eaten. Meanwhile, Heartland Southerners firmly believe that they have fixed the Middle Kingdom's boring food.
(BOREAL SOUTH) “TUNSUKH”: If Midlanders are afraid of Heartland Southern food, Northerners are absolutely furious about cuisine from the Boreal South - the most legendarily offensive being the Boreal South's idea of “tunsukh.” Southerners are no stranger to spice, so when Southern traders began interacting with the North, they liked tunsukh! It's just... they thought it needed a little Southern help to become a real meal, you know? A side of seal cheese soothed the burn and made the meal enjoyable. And because the meal was enjoyable, the portion sizes increased. And plain boiled potatoes? Well, those are a little too plain – creamy mashed sweet potato feels like more of a dessert, doesn't it? ...For some reason, Northerners didn't agree, but that's okay. The Boreal South knows they're just embarrassed they didn't think of pairing seal cheese with tunsukh sooner.
ARMY RATIONS
The food eaten by the King's Army is about what you would expect for late 1700s military; salt pork or salt chevon, hard tack, and coffee. The biggest divergence they have is also one of Vestur's biggest points of pride: they have the means to supply their troops with frivolous luxuries like small tins of candied fruit from the Midland. A love of candied fruit is essentially a Vesturian military proto-meme; proof that they serve the greatest Tri-Kingdom on the planet. Don't get between a military man and his candied fruit unless you want a fight.
#verse: forever gold#worldbuilding#fantasy worldbuilding#food worldbuilding#fantasy food#food art#animal death//#might have to proofread this later forgive any typos I am tired
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invisible string
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.1k
Warnings: fluff
Request by anon: this is about to be super self indulgent but could you by any chance do a spencer reid x barista!reader maybe he keeps going back to the same cafe or something and memorizes like little facts about coffee or something lol i love your writing so much!!
Summary: Spencer keeps going back to the same coffee shop not because of the coffee but because of a certain someone that never fails to make him smile.
Square Filled: invisible string by taylor swift for @spencerreidbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
x
“I need a double shot espresso and a strawberry refresher,” you call to your coworkers. You’re working the register when a tall man walks up to the counter. Man, he is super cute. “Hi, what can I get for you?”
“I don’t come here often but I hear you don’t take large cups? What are they called?”
“Venti?”
“Yeah, that,” he chuckles. “What do you recommend?”
“I personally love anything caramel. It gives me enough sugar to counteract the bitterness of the coffee.”
“I’ll do that, then.”
Man, he is clueless but he’s so cute. You’re not sure if this is a bit or if this is who he actually is but you like it.
“What kind of coffee do you want?”
“Hazelnut Americano with caramel drizzle.”
“You got it. Anything else?”
“No.”
“Name?”
“Spencer Reid.”
He pays for his coffee and you start making his order since there is no one else in line. You write his name on the cup and walk to the pickup section and call his name. The way he bounces over to the counter is kind of cute.
“Have a nice day, Spencer,” you grin and hand it to him.
“Thank you. You, too!”
The next day when Spencer comes in, he is more confident. He’s still nervous since he finds you attractive but he’s not going to let that stop him.
“Hey, I remember you. You ordered the hazelnut Americano yesterday,” you smile and greet him. You yawn and cover your mouth. “Sorry. It doesn’t matter how much coffee I drink, I am still tired.”
“Did you know that coffee was discovered by an Ethiopian goat herder?”
“I did not but it makes sense. He needed all that energy to round up all the goats. What’s your name again?”
“Spencer.”
“Yes, that was it. Sorry, I have a terrible memory.”
“I have an eidetic one.”
“What is that?”
“An eidetic memory is the ability to recall an image from memory with high precision—at least for a brief period—after seeing it only once and without using a mnemonic device. I have an IQ of 187 and can read twenty-thousand words a minute.”
“So, you’re really smart?”
“Yes,” he chuckles.
“Okay, come back tomorrow and I’ll have a fact for you.”
“Deal.”
There is a line forming behind him so Spencer quickly orders and leaves just as fast as he came. You have to wait an entire day to see him again and this time, you have a fact lined up for him.
“Hi, Spencer,” you smile. “I think I got a good fact for you today.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Did you know that ketchup was once sold as a medicine?”
“In the 1830s, it was believed that the condiment could cure almost anything, including indigestion, diarrhea, and even jaundice,” he nods.
“Alright, smarty-pants, I’ll have to try harder tomorrow.”
“I have one for you about coffee. Did you know that bees love the taste of coffee?”
“Is that why they always fly near me when I’m having my morning coffee in my sunroom?”
“It might be.”
Another line is forming so you grab his coffee order and move on with your life. The only thing you’re looking forward to now is Spencer when he comes in. He shows up the next morning at the same time he’s been showing up, and you find yourself smiling because of him.
“Spencer! The usual?”
“Actually, get me your favorite drink.”
“Are you sure? You’re not allergic to anything?”
“Nope.”
“Coming right up.” You ring him up and accept his cash. “I have another fact, and I think it’s a good one. Did you know the Vikings discovered America and not Christopher Columbus?”
“Yes, approximately five hundred years before Christopher Columbus, the Scandinavian explorer Thorvald, brother of Leif Erikson and son of Erik the Red, died in battle in modern-day Newfoundland.”
“Okay, you’re good.”
Spencer blushes at your small compliment. “My head is filled with facts that I can’t seem to forget like coffee beans are actually the seeds from the coffee plant’s berry-like fruits. The coffee plant is a shrub that grows in tropical climates in parts of Africa, Asia, South America and North America. It produces an edible berry-like fruit known as a coffee cherry, which typically contains two coffee beans. These beans are then processed and roasted to create the coffee we know and love.”
“I did not know that.” You really like talking to him but every time he comes in, there is a line forming behind him. You have to move on so you put in his order. You turn to your coworker who barely begins to make his order. “Can you take this? I want to make his cup.”
“Sure, smitten kitten,” she grins.
You grab the empty cup and make your favorite drink for Spencer. When you’re done, you write your number on the side of it in hopes he will use it.
“Spencer?” He walks up to the counter and you smile. “Here you go.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I’ll be here.”
Spencer doesn’t notice your number until he gets to his car. He smiles which makes you smile because that is a good sign that he likes what you did. The next day, he comes in with someone. He hasn’t used your number yet but maybe he’s nervous. The man with the dark skin encourages Spencer to make a move on you, and he pushes him toward you.
“Hi, Spencer,” you smile.
“Hi. This is my friend and coworker, Derek Morgan.”
“Hi, Derek.” You turn to Spencer. “I got one for you. I really think I’ll get you this time. Did you know that in Ancient Egypt, the New Year celebration was called Wepet Renpet?”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Wait, really?” you gasp.
“Are you serious?” Derek asks Spencer at the same time as you.
“I’m sorry, yeah, I did.” You tip your head back and laugh. “While we celebrate New Year’s Day on January 1, the Ancient Egyptian tradition was different every year. Meaning ‘the opener of the year’, Wepet Renpet was a way to mark the annual flooding of the Nile River, which usually happened sometime in July. The Egyptians tracked Sirius, the brightest star in the sky, to time their festivities.”
“You know, one day, I’m gonna get you. I’m gonna know something you don’t.”
“I’ve been barking up that tree for years now,” Derek chuckles. You and Spencer look at him and he nods in understanding. “I’ll go wait over there.”
“What can I get you two?”
“Caramel Macchiato and a Hazelnut Americano.”
“Is that all?”
Spencer looks at Derek who nods in encouragement.
“Would you like to go on a date with me?” he stutters.
He blushes as he talks which is super cute.
“I’d love to.”
“Great. I still have your number. I was nervous about using it but I will now.”
“Don’t wait too long,” you grin.
There is something pulling you and Spencer together, something of an invisible string.
x
Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fan fiction#spencer reid fan fic#spencer reid fiction#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fluff#cm#cm fic#cm fanfic#cm fiction#cm fluff#cm fanfiction
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this goat has singlehandedly cured me of my artblock btw i need you all to know that
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So….whats a certain black widow’s thoughts on a realm jumping carpenter ant? Why is shuffled Shamura so drawn in by Sozonius? Is it the fact they are from another universe? Or do they like that Sozonius seems Knowledgeable? Why do they like this sozo? Why don’t they like dating in their own universe?👾🐜👀
ok let’s break this down into two parts bc this ask means everything to me. Its long so itll b under the cut
1) Why is Shuffled Shamura so drawn to Sozonius?
Simple- there is no Sozonius in their own world. There’s a Sozo, and there’s a Helob. There’s a certain novelty that comes with having something no one else can that’s only made more desirable by the fact that Sozonius is basically everything they could ever want in a partner/friend/companion/acquaintance, not even in the purely romantic sense. Sozonius is just the exact type of person Shamura would WANT to be around. He’s a seeker of knowledge (likely possessing a vast amt of knowledge from his own universe AKA knowledge this Shamura DOESN’T have), he’s strong, he’s reliable, he’s RELATABLE, and a complete mystery that they are simply DYING to unravel. They just wanna tear him open and see how he ticks, and by god they will, and to hell with ANYONE who thinks otherwise. If romance happens to blossom, then so be it, but at the end of the day Sozonius is something new and they’ve GOT to at least see what’s up with him.
2) Why don’t they like dating in their own universe?
well, ok, let’s discuss the possible black widow bachelors and bachelorettes that they have in their own world. We have- cannibal ant, cannibal spider, cannibal goat, and the twins’ mom (lots of cannibals, i see…) any other character they would’ve had mild interest in, such as their followers/witnesses, are dead. All of them are either fools of their own volition or fools by unseen circumstances. Sozo is a foolish old kook who eats people, Helob is a foolish spider infected with fungus who ALSO eats people (had he been cured maybe sparks could fly, but as it stands currently, no), Goat is… I don’t think I need to explain that one, and the twins’ mother Lilith is a strong-willed but ultimately foolish woman who simply accepted having her pups taken away. None of them come CLOSE to Sozonius, and the two that DO (Helob and Lilith) either aren’t interested in them or physically CANT be interested due to mushrooms growing out of their cranium.
They mean…. So much to me
@panoffrying for both the classic shamura design above, the sozo design i’ve been using, AND the sozonius in particular i talk about when I say “Shuffled Shamura has the hots for Sozonius”. I’m very normal wdym. no i haven’t been rotting about them. no wdym. my slight lack in activity hasn’t been because they’re all i think abt now.
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Hie!!
Do you have any johnlock fic recs :3
( or parentlock, it consumes me )
Ooh so you want to go down this rabbit hole with me, then!
These are in no particular order, just fics I've read recently or just a handful of the many authors this fandom has to offer whom I respect deeply.
Parentlock has been all I've been reading for the last several weeks, honestly, been on a real kick & need it like oxygen!
I can't reccomend anything by JenTheSweetie on ao3 highly enough - her Parentlock is just deliciously in-character, witty and tangible. instruction manual not included and Immune to Your Consultations (feat. teenage Rosie, which we don't have nearly enough of in my opinion) have been my most recently read and are just *chefs kiss*
@lurikko also has written Ten Years (feat. scheming matchmaker Rosie) and A Weird Place (which is tagged 'Just raising their kid and being confused' and...yeah, succinct, brilliant summary, have re-read this one several times)
@arwamachine has written Indefinite Lines, a gloriously long post-S4 casefic featuring lots of lovely family dynamics between Sherlock, John and Rosie in between (one of the parentlock fics of all time, in my opinion) and I also got done reading Winning the Goat, which is so amazingly witty and comical and just generally wonderfully written.
Swan Dive by @hitlikehammers is 5+1 featuring an emphasis on the relationship between Sherlock and Rosie and is once again, brilliantly characterized and wonderful to read
Keep on Changing by philalethia is a good, spooky post-S4 parentlock fic (read it for Halloween, did not disappoint!)
I know @missdaviswrites has also written heaps wonderful parentlock stories and there are plenty of stories that feature Rosie as a character and lovely domestic/parenthood fluff out there on ao3 that I haven't listed (these are mostly ones I've read recently or that come to mind)
As for general Johnlock fics...! (Most of these, again, are what I've been reading recently or first come to mind)
until we fall asleep by @itsonlytext is set post-TLD and is angsty, tense, realistic, soft, quiet, and in-character all at once and is such a little hidden gem that not nearly enough people are talking about right now!
A Thrill Failed to Deliver by @jbaillier who I know by her dozens of stunning medical realism and angst fics, in my opinion never disappoints. Have never been happier to see an author come back from a hiatus, lol!)
An Ounce of Cure by @bakertumblings is another great medical realism fic, this time with John as the one getting hit with all the angst and whump
What it Can Be by @naefelldaurk is a spin on the end of TLD and offers a much more satisfying end, brilliantly in character and wonderfully paced.
@calaisreno just finished When Harry Met Mary which follows the events of S3/4 through Harry Watson's POV (brilliant fic for those who are sick of Harry getting reduced to nothing more than John's alcoholic sister; her role in this is brilliant, developed and enjoyable). Also read Déjà Vu which is part of her genius Off-Axis series (frankly in love with all of her AUs)
The Fallen series by @engazed is one I've started just recently but has already hooked me!
Thirst by @holmesianpose is another one I've just started, so not too far in, yet, but still wonderfully written thus far!
@gaylilsherlock wrote Cutting Out the Middle Man recently (along with the several other Johnlock fics they've been putting out at admirable speeds), featuring getting-together between John and Sherlock and Greg Lestrade as a wingman and the delicious Watson & Lestrade pub scene!
Double or Nothing by @crowson75 is a study in John's bisexuality, gripping casefic, wonderfully smutty and realistically characterized, post-S4 and finally sees these two idiots figuring themselves out.
Not a Johnlock fic (there is background Johnlock, though!) but instead it’s a Mystrade one, is The Habits of a Lifetime by @out-there-tmblr and is definitely a Greg x Mycroft story but also a beautiful and realistic 54k words of a Mycroft character study and is just too much of a favorite of mine for me not to put on a rec list.
I also highly reccomend anything written by @totallysilvergirl, @the-reading-lemon, @weeesi, and @7-percent.
Realizing so many of these are post S4 or S4 compliant but I just love some good fix-its, I suppose. Hope some of these are to your liking, as they are all certainly to mine :)
#fic recs#i always feel weird doing rec lists because there's just TOO many fics for me to list in one go#but these are all fairly recently written or currently being updated or just authors i really do adore and have done since before being on#hope you enjoy! (and hopefully one day i'll be able to self-rec as i've got my own parentlock fic on the way!)#ask#my rambles#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#john watson#johnlock#parentlock#rosie watson
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Could I pretty please ask for any Haru stuff you found? 🥺 I've been afflicted with the Haru simp disease and only information/content of him can cure me 🛐
HARU'S CHANGED MY FEELINGS ON HIM not that i disliked him at all before but like. . .you know how he acts like the team mom? His voicelines make this worse. I thought he was more like a meddlesome but chill guy with a lot of energy. The truth is this poor man is a single mother with two unruly kids, a house full of animals, and VIRTUALLY NO HELP BESIDES YOU. No wonder he drinks nearly every fucking night. I get why Jabberwock doesn't have ordinary students but jesus christ please get some helpers in here. My man is overworked.
I ended up putting almost all of them in because. . .he is struggling poor boy. I have officially edited this to contain all of Haru's voicelines! Sorry for the wait!!
Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)
"Hey, nice timing! One sec, I've just gotta finish feeding everyone."
You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)
"You've got some letters! Better open them before that goat lookalike makes a meal out of them!"
Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)
"Folks are going wild over the Anomalous Animal Back To Nature Tour, and this is your chance to experience it at a discount rate! C'mon, help me hand out these fliers!"
"Everyone stuffs up sometimes. Don't let it get to you—just think of it as a funny story you can pull out later and laugh at! Gahaha!"
the only way he knows how to cope with his pain is to laugh at it. . .my therapist told me that was good actually! he's well adjusted! disregard the nightly drinking.
"You sure are fond of {PC}, aren't you, Peekaboo? You did nothing but bite me for the first three days after we met."
tbf you were from another house and it was probably fresh after the clash. . . .
"You reckon I work hard? Nah, this is nothing to write home about. All right, let's head to the next zone!"
"Hey, nice work out there today! Let's knock a few more jobs off the list then take a break, hey?"
oh my god you take breaks? or are you telling the player to take a break while you keep overdoing it. . . .
Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)
"Morning! Let's get this show on the road!"
Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)
"Hey, {PC}! What a coinkydink! I just finished my rounds."
Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"Ren? He's working at that whacky restaurant again. I'll have to go pick him up later."
Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)
"Towa's off to that hill again? I was gonna ask him to hold down the fort... Guess I'll have to stay put tonight."
Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)
"Am I tired? Nah, don't worry, if there's two things I have confidence in it's my stamina and my bad luck!"
Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"The Sinostra folks are causing a kerfuffle again... I don't need any of that! You should take care not to get dragged into their mess too, you hear?"
Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)
"You wanna know how to get the animals to like you? You just gotta show how much you love them, like this— Ow! Don't bite me, Peekaboo!"
Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"None of our critters have warmed to Ren at all, even though he spends all day with them... Guess that handsome face only works on humans."
Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)
"Phew, time for a bre— Hm? That sounded like the Capybus! I'm gonna go check on her, watch Peekaboo for me!"
Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)
"All right, the kids are all in bed. I'll just ask those two to hold down the fort, then I'll head out for a little walk..."
Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)
"I went to wake that sleepyhead Ren up this morning, but it was like he couldn't see me even though he was looking straight at me. Reckon his eyesight's bad?"
Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)
"Course I eat, don't worry about that! Just earlier I pinched some of Peekaboo's veggies when I was making his lunch and had them with a piece of bread!"
Please eat food. . . .
Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"So much to do... Gotta take in the washing and get the shopping done... Argh! There's not enough hours in the day!"
Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)
"This? It's an energy drink. Don't feel like the day's started till I have one. (gulp) (gulp) Pwaaah!"
PLEASE EAT FOOD AND SLEEP. . . . . . . . .
Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)
"Ah man, there's soap all over the walls again! You're so good at playing with the animals Towa, if you could just learn how to clean up after you'd get full marks..."
Towa i love you but please help your mother boyfriend captain. . . .
Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)
"Ah! I can't do dogs! How'd you get in here?! Towa!! Come here!! No!! Don't bite me!!"
He is terrified of dogs????? Towa absolutely electrocuted the shit out of that dog. Rip in pieces. That dog truly fucked around and found out. It will never go in the dorm again.
Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)
"Thanks for helping out again today, you're a real lifesaver. Sorry I can't walk you back..."
Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)
"You reckon I look like an acrobat when I'm using my stigma? Gahaha! Maybe I'll practice balancing on a ball then!"
Baby no you are not a clown please what if you break something again--
Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)
"...(gasp) Crap, I fell asleep... Did you put this blanket on me? Cheers... Maybe I'll grab a few more minutes..."
Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)
"I swore I'd take responsibility for protecting all the lives in this park. I can't let anyone die on my watch."
Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)
"I don't know where I'd be without all the critters in this place if I'm honest with you. Well, gotta be my animal magnetism that's keeping them here anyway! Gahaha!"
Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)
"Hm? There's some critters whose nails were getting dangerously long so I was giving them a clip. Come here, I'll do yours too if you want!"
Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)
"Oh, off for a cheeky night out? Gahaha! I know a good place, want me to take you?"
get wasted with him and give him somebody to talk to!! he needs someone besides romeo and rui to listen to him rant sometimes!
Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)
"A soft bed to lie down in and someone to chat with till I drift off... I'm really living the high life here."
He's a simple man. . .it's easy to imagine him holding your hand here while he dozes off. . . .
Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)
"Really learned the ropes here, haven't you? Once we have a little cash to spare, I'll buy you your own Jabberwock uniform!"
they must be expensive if it takes until Affinity 25 to get you one! He's so conscious about his finances(disregard all of the stuff he buys and never uses--) that being given a purchased gift is surely the highest tier of affection from him haha. But also. . .he treats the anomalous animals and oftentimes even the other ghouls in Jabberwock like they're his kids. This is his way of saying 'you're part of this family too.' Which is very sweet.
Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)
"Today's shearing day for the fluffy squad! It's actually a pretty hefty task, so I've gotta hop to it if I want to be done before summer..."
(between 11am and 4pm)
"Bucket, check. Trowel, check. Me and Towa are heading to the mountains to pick some veggies. You wanna come?"
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"We've been getting a lot of balmy days lately, and the sun's up longer. Can't help but dilly-dally when I'm working..."
(between 8pm and 5am)
"I've gotta clean out all the sparrow nests soon or they won't be able to look after their kiddos properly. Looks like there's... 61 nests total..."
Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)
"A lot of customers have been saying they wanna stay cool in the summer so I changed up the course. Now we have a special summer-only waterside tour!"
(between 11am and 4pm)
"It's hot so I invited Ren to go fishing, but his face screwed up like a prune and he yelled at me. What's he got against fish?"
Probably the same thing you have against dogs. . . .
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"Phew... Finally finished harvesting all the feed crops for the day... Everyone's health is dependent on their quality, so now's the time to do it right."
(between 8pm and 5am)
"Lotta bugs around this time of year... But they're important for the food chain, so I've gotta take care of them... Argh!! Give it a rest with the buzzing!"
Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)
"Hey, nice timing! I'm about to make a fire with the dead leaves I collected so I can bake some potatoes, take a seat!"
(between 11am and 4pm)
"I like the Jabberwock uniforms. They're made out of high-performance fabric that keeps you warm when it's cold out and safe when you're handling venomous critters!"
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"The hibernation squad's gonna start eating us out of house and home this month... The food bill's gonna be rough... Eeek!"
(between 8pm and 5am)
"You reckon that's a rabbit on the moon? No way, it's a toad! C'mon, look closer!"
apparently the pareidolic toad in the moon is a Chinese myth! I wonder if they mean to suggest Haru is actually Chinese.
Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)
"Rounds are quicker in winter since some of the critters hibernate. Makes things a little easie— Why's the kitchen on fire?!"
(between 11am and 4pm)
"Brr... Can't help but get green-eyed looking at the furry critters when it's this cold..."
(between 4pm and 8pm)
"Nice and toasty... Hm? I'm talking about Peekaboo! He's better than a hot water bottle in this weather!"
Haru putting Peekaboo on your tummy when you're having cramps or just in pain in general is a cute mental image, especially since Peekaboo likes you lol
(between 8pm and 5am)
"It's cold outside so some of the critters have been sneaking into our rooms at night. You heard Ren scream just now, right?"
His birthday: (September 20th)
"It's my birthday?! Oops, totally slipped my mind... Thanks for remembering!"
Your birthday:
"Happy birthday. The Capybus is all yours today—I've got a custom birthday tour all planned out for you!"
New Years: (January 1st)
"Happy New Year! How'd I ring it in? I was milking the cow and when I looked up I'd totally missed the first sunrise! Gahaha!"
Valentine's Day: (February 14th)
"You're kidding, I can really have this?! They say a little sugar helps sweeten a tired day! Thanks a million, this'll keep me going a while!"
White Day: (March 14th)
"Ta-da! I bought you some hand cream, for the chocolate you got me last month. Thanks for everything you do here."
hand cream when you do all of that manual labor and probably have to wash your hands a lot is a really practical gift actually, gg haru
April Fool's Day: (April 1st)
"Can you believe this? Ren got up early, and Towa fed everyone for me! ...Tried to make a joke for April Fools but it just made me feel empty inside..."
Halloween: (October 31st)
"Check it out! The pumpkin Capybus, in town for three days only! I sacrificed sleep and some of our budget to get her ready!"
If it's painted I really hope that paint is waterproof. . .never know when Towa's gonna make it rain. . . .
Christmas: (December 25th)
"Merry Christmas! This is a reindeer, she lives up in the mountains! And I'm Sagara Claus! Gahaha!"
just don't let romeo see it lolol
Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)
"Hey there, miss! Looking gorgeous as ever! ...Wait, I was kidding! Come back!"
(13 affinity and above)
"You seem pretty flat out today... Nothing for it, I'll get a few other things out of the way while I wait for you to get back."
Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)
"Phew, that's a relief... I was worried one of ours ate you... Glad to see you back."
Once again. . .an absolute sweetheart. And a single mother who is desperately in need of some help around the house. That April Fool's line really got me lolol poor guy. All of his have a lot of energy to them so i feel like i posted more than Haku, who's kind of a more low key guy lol. . . .
#haru sagara#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker spoilers#datamining cw#danie yells with anons#danie yells at tokyo debunker#danie yells answers#oops it's midnight gotta finish dailies before it's too late
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So how about some angst romance stuff
Goat!Reader was dating and perhaps married to Sozo when Sozo switched back to Dr. Sozonius and they aren't in love anymore, just. Sozonius doesn't remember anything from when he was Sozo, and reader loves Sozo, not Sozonius
"What did you do to him?"
Lamb jumped a little upon hearing the sound of a follower slamming the doors to their temple wide open, as they were in the midst of preparing for the next ritual.
They would have earned the harshest scolding if not for the fact it was you, the goat who decided to join their cult out of your own volition.
You were also the one who was wedded to Sozo--Anura's mushroom researcher who was driven to madness, died due to shroom overdose, and revived within the cult grounds..before finally being restored back to his old self.
All it took was simply depriving him (or rather the parasite on his head) of those same shrooms that once killed him. The fungus simply shriveled up and died, turning into nothing more than dust.
It ended up revealing his true age: as an elderly soul with little time left, but Lamb figured out a "fountain of youth" of sorts...and soon they and their followers got to know Dr. Sozonius.
One of the most intelligent scientists in all of the Old Faith.
Knowing how much he meant to you, Lamb would have thought you, of all people, would've been elated and thanking them endlessly for the "miracles" they somehow made happen, and brought your spouse back to you. Free of the parasite that took him away.
But for some reason..you were doing the exact opposite: condemning them in their own temple.
Why, though?
"I kept my promise. I told you I'd cure him, and I did..didn't I?" They hummed, closing their book as they stared down at you from behind the podium, wondering why you still looked so resentful.
"Lies. You killed the ant I loved."
Now it was their turn to be crossed. "[Y/n], you shouldn't be calling your divine leader a li-"
"He doesn't remember me at all!"
"....what?" Their eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "I mean..the fungi may have messed with his mind, and his memories aren't what they-"
"No..he..h-he doesn't know who I am anymore." Tears filled your eyes, gripping the sleeves of your robe. "He knows nothing of our vows..our wedding bands..the Mushroomos...not even how we met. He looks at me like a stranger. Like I'm the one eating shrooms!"
Their eyes widened a little, initially shocked by this revelation, but they were quick to double down with a scowl. "Listen, I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Truly, I am. But there's no way I could have known that was going to happen. You were wedded to an intelligent doctor, and I did my best to restore him. Just like you asked-"
"No...no, no, no...I never loved "Dr. Sozonius", Lamb. I loved Sozo."
A pause.
"You...never knew him as...?"
"No. When I got lost in Anura, his followers took me in..to the Spore Grotto. And Sozo..he showed that he cared, even if the fungi made him say some..questionable things. At times, I didn't know if he loved me for me or for the shrooms I've found across Heket's domain. But what we had...was real." You swallowed back more tears, your voice thick with emotion. "At our wedding, he..e-equated my love to being as addicting as those shrooms. And that day...I knew it wasn't the fungi talking, but his heart. He loved me, and now..he doesn't even know my name..."
As Lamb listened to your grief-striken ramblings, they felt their ears droop slightly more and more with each passing second. Yet their gaze remained firm as they stepped down from the podium, eyes full of sympathy.
"[Y/n], the Sozo you knew..it..it wasn't the real him. He was miserable, addicted. It was the fungi that convinced you-"
"Enough with the lies, damned Lamb.."
They stopped, noticing how you stared back at them with such hatred in your eyes...and he could see red starting to glow within them.
Indeed, they were eyes of a dissenter.
"Excuse me?"
"You killed my beloved, and replaced him with an impostor." You spat angrily, stomping your hoof as you sneered down at the sheep. "You think I'll accept him as that? The others will know my story...how you destroyed our love. You wouldn't hesitate to do the same to other couples, would you?!"
"You've got this all wrong, [y/n]. Sozonius is his real identity-"
"LIES!! ALL LIES!! I ONLY LOVED SOZO!!"
In blind rage, you raised your hand up--but before you could take any sort of action, their Red Crown manifested a giant shadowy claw that grabbed ahold of your ankle, tripping you.
As you grunted from the initial pain of your horns hitting the hardwood floors, you saw Lamb now sneering down at you this time.
"You were in love with a parasite. The monster that killed him in the first place. I cured him, set his mind free, restored his happiness and youth....and you repay me like this? With a threat to strike me?!" Sharp teeth began appearing in their mouth, and you could only stare back at them, shuddering a bit. "You'd rather see him suffer over and over again..than accept this is the real him?"
"I-I..refuse to accept this impostor you created."
"You will soon enough. But for now..I believe reeducation is an order. To show you that he's better off this way. Perhaps better off without you and your obsession." Lamb huffed, dragging you outside as you thrashed and clawed at the grass, all while the bewildered followers watched you being taken to the pillories.
Among them was Sozonius, who looked confused and a bit saddened when you called out his name.
"Sozo".
He didn't think you two were well-acquainted enough to warrant the nickname you've given him, and he didn't understand why you kept calling him that since the day he gained clarity and found himself chained up in the same pillory you were in now.
Except...you had no clarity, but rather started babbling nonsense about "love" and how Lamb lied to you.
He did pity you, yet at the same time was a little scared that you've mentioned a "wedding" like you both were already married.
But you weren't...right? He was a mushroom researcher, always on the go until he decided to settle down in Lamb's cult. He wouldn't have time for marriage.
How he wishes he could help you sort out these thoughts and let go of this "fantasy" you're living out. Maybe then, he'd be more willing to get to know more about you.
Until that happens, though, hopefully Lamb's methods of reeducation could help you.
#ough </3#clanask#anonymous#cult of the lamb x reader#cotl x reader#cotl sozo#cotl dr sozonius#angst
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Hey Tal! I was preparing stuffed jacket potatoes for my family and it made me wonder;
"If each race was given a baked potato (any veriety), what would they stuff it with? (Let's pretend the bosmer is non pact compliant but still likes honoring their roots.)"
Since you'll find potatoes in every other barrel across Tamriel, you can bet that stuffed baked potatoes are probably the most universal dish we know of. Whether you love them or were fed too many of them as a child, there's a baked potato out there for everyone in Tamriel.
Altmer
You know what, the High Elves really have to be fancy about everything. Instead of gutting and filling your regular jumbo jacket potato like literally everybody else, they make large hasselback potatoes and painstakingly insert ingredients between the slots before baking. These laborious (but admittedly delectable) potatoes are usually offered filled with either four cheeses; mozzarella, tomatoes, and pesto; roasted vegetables with tapenade, or pancetta, gruyere, and sausage.
Argonians
Baked potatoes are great for playing a heated game of teeba-hatsei with, much to the rage of many an Argonian parent who had painstakingly made dinner. When they're not being slapped around for a laugh, Argonians eat their baked potatoes by making a well in the centre and crack a hot quail egg in, before topping it with deep fried mealworms or crickets and a bit of lime sambal. Scramble it up and you're good to go!
Bosmer
To every Green Pact-abiding Wood Elf I'm about to sadden with this, I apologise in advance for what I'm about to propose. But imagine a lovely jacket potato stuffed with a good slathering of smoked timber mammoth cheese atop battered thunderbug eggs, smoked bristleback bacon, jalapeño mayo, and sweetgnat butter. I don't need to imagine it; I made one with my friend Berrilyn, and it was glorious. Definitely on the heavy side, but loaded with every good ingredient Valenwood has to offer!
Bretons
Cheap, filling, and delicious. That's all a baked potato needs to be in High Rock, making it one of the Province's most popular foods among the common folk. Just about every sauce-based dish you can think of can go onto a jacket potato, from melted roquefort, goose egg, and dry cured ham to the classic combination of tomato beans and candied bacon rashers, and even reusing yesterday's Tarragon Chicken! There aren't really any limits on what you can fill a jacket potato with in High Rock, as long as you have a good knob of butter in there!
Dunmer
While potatoes are a perfectly standard and valid ingredient in Morrowind, I know you all want to hear about jacket ash yams. Popularised by Ashlanders, who bake their potatoes on lava, jacket ash yams can be found at every tavern and cornerclub across the Province. Minced nix-ox in a spicy comberry ragout; scrambled kwama eggs with caramelised scathecraw; and even Hackle-lo and Scuttle Curry are at home on a big, piping lava-hot ash yam. Don't forget to get some crunchy deep-fried kwama scrib to go on top- well worth the gold, I promise!
If you get the hankering for a taste of Morrowind, try my Raven Rock Baked Ash Yams.
Imperials
There are two rules surrounding baked potatoes in Cyrodiil: the potatoes must always be Jumbo Potatoes, and you must always use olive oil instead of butter. With that flavour profile in mind, think simple, complementary toppings like sundried tomatoes with goat cheese and fresh basil; cheese curds and red wine gravy; bresaola, chili oil, and gorgonzola, and browned pine nut butter with a good smear of ricotta and creamed battaglir.
Khajiit
Northern and Southern Elsweyr have a distinct difference in their baked potatoes: the North likes them rich and spicy, while the South prefers sweeter flavours that complement moon sugar. Northern Elsweyr is famous for its fiery curry-filled jacket potatoes, filled to the brim with rich, generally tomato-based curries featuring local ingredients like braised jerboa, pulled terror bird, and diced mutton. Meanwhile in Senchal, you'll find your average baked potato partially filled with things like chicken satay pieces in moon sugar peanut sauce, haloumi with moon sugar syrup, and sweet crispy shrimp and pork floss. But wait, 'partially filled?' Yep! In Southern Elsweyr, the insides of the potato are scooped out and rolled together with powdered moon sugar to make horrifically sweet potato 'candy' for dessert after you've finished your jacket potato. Who am I to judge?
Nords
Mammoth cheese? Horker bacon and smoked kippers? Pulled pheasant in brown ale gravy? All very valid and very traditional Skyrim options. However, I'm jumping up and down at the thought of a baked potato topped with freshly baked salmon or gravlaks with dill, lots of sour cream, and a bit of mustard! Simple, good, and I will shout at anyone who calls this combination bland. You can take the girl out of Riften, but never the Riften out of the girl.
Orcs
Where Wrothgarian Orsimer are concerned, there's a joke that every other meal is a baked potato (and that's sometimes the unfortunate case when a Hearth-Wife isn't very good at her job.) Gooey, mouthwatering echatere cheese raclette is the favoured topping in the region, melted atop of a bed of fillings like spicy wrathberry gravy with echatere or beef chunks; chopped mammoth bratwurst; grilled chub loon with frost mirriam barbecue sauce, and deep fried horker lard bits and sweet-and-spicy minced horker. Indulgent, and by Malacath, they're filling too.
Redguards
Where the Orcs have their echatere cheese on jacket potatoes, Hammerfell loves its goat cheese. Whether it's aged chèvre log slices or fresh and crumbly, you can bet it's going on a baked potato. It's paired with a range of moreish fillings, like harissa and apricot chicken; tender goat mince with a cumin-based curry; battered, fried snake with a tangy and sweet lemon drizzle, and shawarma meat with creamy garlic sauce and caramelised onions.
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