#Gnc advice

[gnc-culture-is]

hi !! i’m wondering if i am gender nonconforming, and i have a question that i haven’t been able to find the answer to from individual research so i want to ask gender nonconforming ppl themselves

so i am under the nonbinary umbrella and afab, but i always present very feminine (like, more than most cis girls)

the definition i’m seeing for gnc is essentially someone’s who’s gender expression is different from the societal expectation/roles

in this case i think that would fall under gnc, because the expectation for nonbinary people is to be androgynous, and specifically for afab nonbinary ppl to present more masculine as they transition, however i dress very femininely, in fact more so after i realized i was trans than before

however all of the examples i see for gnc ppl r afabs who dress more masculine or amabs who dress more feminine

i ask bcs while i feel undeniably more myself when dressed very femininely (like, i tried and i cannot stand to be otherwise without it taking a decline on my mental health), i do get lots of dysphoria knowing that ppl don’t see me as my gender bcs i don’t act “trans enough”, but being able to take pride in being gnc instead would make that so so much less horrible (like, even just the thought of that potentially being the case feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders). but i absolutely do not want to intrude on a space that is not mine, so genuinely asking, would i be considered gender nonconforming ??

Yeah that sounds GNC to me. “Afab” does not equal woman, though a lot of people use it like it does, and I personally really wish people would leave it out of the discussion. You aren’t a woman and you present hyperfemininely. Sounds good to me. I wish you the best with your dysphoria.

[mspec-culture-is]

Hi! I'm that anon from that post you reblogged yesterday. Do you have any advice about how a person attracted to men and nonbinary people (of all gender expressions not just masculine/androgynous nonbinary people) should identify?

However they feel fits?

You could call yourself bisexual; attracted to a gender (possibly) similar to your own and attracted to a gender (possibly) dissimilar to your own. You could call yourself polysexual; attracted to multiple genders, but not all. If you feel that you, yourself, are a man or nonbinary (or both) nothing stops you from calling yourself gay.

I’m sure there are more accurate labels, and I will do some more digging for you! However, the floor is more than open if anyone else can help :)

[casimania]

Confused person seeking help :T

Ok, I'm writing a more coherent post than the one from last day. I'm not sure what I'm gonna talk about has to do with dysphoria, but if you have it reading this could be uncomfortable maybe? It's the same post as yesterday but with a good talk and night of sleep on it.

This is a sort of shout out. If this sounds familiar to anyone feel tre to hit me up, I'm kinda stewing in my own thoughts and not coming to any conclusions. But someone was kind enough to lend me a hand yesterday and it made me feel better so I'm trying to organize my feelings a little better. So there are a few different tags so maybe this gets a little exposure, it's time I try to reach out a little.

For all intents and purposes right now I'm a cis woman, I don't have any problem with being referred as one and I don't have any particular issues with my breasts or genitals. What's bothering me are my secondary characteristics (boobs excluded obv).

I'd love, at first glance, to look exactly like a man (but with my regular top and bottom stuff), I think I mentioned Adam Goldberg yesterday? So yeah not a very masc woman or even androgynous, wanna go full "for all internet and purposes I look like man, unless we're being intimate.

I'm starting to be more and more really jealous of other guys my age. Even my younger brother is basically done with puberty and just needs to finish growing into his body and I'm super envious. We look similar enough I'm constantly wonder "If only I was born differently how close to that I could look?".

But I don't have that feeling of being born or trapped in the "wrong" body trans people seem to often describe? I don't particularly feel like I'm actually a man or even feel like I want to be one, or that being a woman is somewhat wrong for me. And I don't feel like my body doesn't match my gender? I don't know if it makes sense?? I don't feel Iike there's anything to match. Like, the disconnect a lot of people describe. The one I have now IS my body (like, it's never felt like a cage or not belonging to me), it's just one that I don't really like the look and feel of, but the changes I want to obtain are a little harder than "cut or dye your hair, become thinner of buffer, get a tatoo..." but easier than say, wanting to be taller (wish I also would like, but at least that is a thing that I know it's not possible and made peace with that).

I feel like my experience matches a lot to that of GNC women, but for a lot of them it seems to be tied a lot to their gender and womanhood and femininity in general (like their attachment or detachment from it). But for me it's purely on a physical level? Womanhood, masculinity, femininity, being nonbinary... They are very abstract things for me, they aren't big issues I think often about. I could go on all my life being a woman, being extremely feminine or masculine based on how I feel on that day (I think I would be even more ok with being a little more feminine if I could look more like a guy, it just feels better in my head?)... But while looking like a man. That's the main thing for me. Dressing and behaving more masc haven't helped me at all unfortunately. The feeling is not totally wrong body as much as "body that needs some improvements". But if someone pointed a gun at my head and told me to choose I would be like woman, no gender and then man if I really had to choose? But it’s something I’m in no rush to deal with as it’s not giving me issues. But also... if I got told I had to legally change all my stuff to say I’m a man to be able to take testosterone... I would in a heartbeat, it doesn’t sound like a sacrifice. Maybe that means something? I don’t know if my feelings on this would change if I could look like I want, maybe even my gender feelings would change! Rn all I’m focused is on my body and nothing else, all brainpower and feelings are employed over there.

I can't seem to figure out what this all makes me? I know no one can answer this for me but I kinda wonder if there are other people that feel like this? I looked at the personal stories of trans men, nonbinary people and gnc women but I haven't found anything that matches how I feel (altough seeing videos of people changing once they go on T make me mad envious, all the changes showed and talked about made me yearn so much)? Does this sound familiar to anyone? I feel very lost at the moment and kinda weird? Like, I don't want to make light of this. Dysphoria as trans people who have it describe it seem like a very different thing. And even being trans while not being dysphoric feels different. Like it almost sounds like a cosmetic thing like I describe it compared to the trans people's experiences I read about. But it does make me feel bad because I don't make enough of the right hormones to look like I like to see myself as when I close my eyes. I can look at myself without self loathing in the mirror but in my head I'm like, "second cooler puberty when??" But then it's "oh no, I'm actually done with that and had the uncool one, dang it".

I haven't mentioned my voice also, but while some years ago I was more attached to it, now I also feel envious of deeper voices too and despise listening to my recorded voice. It feels way higher than I hear it irl and it makes me want to never talk again because it's terrible.

This is probably something I’ll have to bring to a gender therapist or something like that in the future. But as it isn’t available to me atm finding people like me would also be nice.

[cosmicdisastr]

LGBT haircut advice!

I know this is probably a long shot but I wondered if any trans/gnc folks following me (or that see this) have any advice? Next month, provided I don’t totally chicken out, I’m wanting to finally cut my hair short! Now, I’m planning to do so in a pretty LGBT/Trans friendly city (Austin, Tx) and googling is telling me that MOST places there are p accepting, but I’m wondering how someone as a trans/gnc person navigated that first gender/sexuality affirming haircut.

How do you approach the situation? Did you do a lot of research first or just walk in and ask for what you want? How were your results? What can I expect, even in an accepting town, as far as reactions to what I’m asking for? I’m wanting something pretty gender neutral, so do I tell them I’m non-binary and just explain to them what I’m wanting?

Ever since coming to this decision, my stomach has been in knots over it because 1) I don’t want to face homophobia while asking for this cut, 2) I don’t want to walk out with a haircut I hate because said stylist/barber went too far in one gendered direction, and 3) reactions of basically everyone I know afterwards. So I just thought I’d see if anyone here had any advice or words of wisdom or suggestions, or Hell, if you live in/near Austin, do you have a favorite place to go or somewhere you know has a good reputation for this kind of thing? I’ve been googling all day but I would like some real accounts as well.

[gnc-culture-is]

(warning, this is a vent, but i am also asking for advice genuinely, if you dont have the energy to read that sort of thing now then that's okay, take care of yourself 💙)

How do I get over my fear of correcting people?

I have my pronouns (it/they) on a pin on my bag (it's actually just it/its, but that was the only pin available with 'it' - but I don't mind they/them), I've said that those are my pronouns, and yet when I get misgendered, even by well-meaning people who say "Please correct me if I mess up!", I just don't do it. It makes me extremely uncomfortable to be seen as my agab, even though I present in a way that would conform to it. I'm also scared of changing my name and the things that come with that (telling people I go by a different name, etc). I was selling pins for a fundraiser my school was doing, during a basketball game which I wasn't interested in. I was wearing my aforementioned pin on my sweater, which under it I had on my one item of trans gear that would make me appear less like my agab. Multiple people asked for my name. I had to give them my deadname, because nobody knows me by my real name. I don't want to do that anymore I want to be known by my chosen name I want people to see me as my real self.

you just do it often, i think. you deserve to be addressed with respect. i've found some success in going, "ah, i'm actually 'x', 'y' is just my legal name. long story." if I have to give out my deadname.

would love to hear from others about this though

[gnc-culture-is]

Do you know of any blogs that teach people how to put together an outfit? When I look at pictures of other GNC people online (both GNC men and women) they look so good. I feel like I’m a failure at both masculinity and femininity. I can only achieve androgyny. But not hot androgyny. Weird androgyny.

im gonna leave this open for others to recommend blogs since i don’t know of any. weird androgyny is hot androgyny in my opinion, and style is a slowly cultivated skill.

[gnc-culture-is]

I'm sorry this isn't a "GNC culture is" thing but I was wondering if y'all had any good places to read/learn about being GNC?

This has been in here for a WHILE... So, I'm simply going to open the table for follower suggestions. Sorry about the wait.

[gnc-culture-is]

Hello, how are you all?

I'm not sure if this is place to ask, but is there a term for being attracted to only GNC people, say, a feminine man or masculine woman?

I do not know! GNC4GNC? good taste, possibly. Giving this one to the crowd.

[gnc-culture-is]

i'm a gnc trans man , pre everything , only my friends know . and now that i'm growing older it became a conversation w my therapist, i talked about how i'm trans but it's just not worth trying to socially transition since i'm pretty fem and i'd have to explain myself all the time . he told me that while it might be the best idea to put it off for now it's also probably making me a bit miserable and i too deserve to live as myself . it left me wondering what should i do, if anything at all, at least to live a bit more happily , though i'd say i'm getting by- any thoughts?

If you would be safe to do so, or if the risk is one you are willing to take? I would recommend social transition. I’m in the process of it while being feminine, and it’s been more of a success than I expected. You deserve to live not only as yourself, but as a happier and more fulfilled version. I do recommend waiting for some kind of change- new school year, new semester- if you’re in school. If you aren’t? Shrug. Go for what feels right. I wish you luck, Safety, and respect.

[gnc-culture-is]

Nomatter what, I can't seem to come up with a label for my gender. I'm AFAB and do identify as female so I do consider myself cis, however I hate being called words such as "lady", "woman", etc. I don't know anyone who feels the way I do about it. At this point I've just given up on describing it more than "GNC female". But then people always instantly go to assuming that means I'm comfortable being called feminine terms and it's, uggh..

...That sounds extrodinarily stressful. I'm not entirely sure how to respond, though I do hope someone may have kind words for you. I hope you find a solution that works for you, soon-- Though you're always allowed to use 'other gender' terms for yourself. Being a female man is allowed, yknow?

[gnc-culture-is]

GNC culture is "that look" people give you when they try to work out your gender. It's not outwardly hostile often but there can be a lot of distaste and contempt thrown into it. Especially common in less accepting areas.

I'm a pre-T trans guy and more androgynous than GNC but I get "that look" a lot. Most strangers gender me correctly (as he/him), though I think it's exclusively mannerisms that helps people, especially older people decide. Younger people normally ask me my pronouns upon meeting me (more than their peers) and also give me "that look" less.

nodding in solidarity.

[gnc-culture-is]

psa to all leather lovers and wearers

Take the time to condition your leather at least once a year. It’s New Year’s Day, go ahead and get it out of the way. Conditioning your leather contributes to longterm durability, as leather can and will dry out.

Homemade leather conditioner <- this link also has a guide on how to use leather conditioner

More on leather in general <- more elaborate guide

[gnc-culture-is]

I was scrolling through here and I want to be a boy, but I still want to be my partners girlfriend but be called a boyfriend. I don't look masculine most of the time. I'm mostly femme. And I just wanna be called 'he' all the time (plus neos). It's very confusing and I'm sure this fits into the gnc category... Does it???

You can do that. You can be someone’s girlfriend and boyfriend. You can use he and neos while being femme. It can feel very confusing, yes, but you aren’t alone in this. This does fit into the gnc category, and you are welcome here. I recommend talking this out with your partner and trying out being their boyfriend in name and their girlfriend however you two define it. It’s okay, you’ll get there. … If I’m interpreting your profile picture correctly, you’re a lesbian, no? If you want to be a boy* and a girl* at once, I recommend looking into multigender identities, too. I wish you peace.

*for some value of boy or girl. I don’t determine your gender.

[gnc-culture-is]

Actually, to that anon who isn't sure if they're trans or not, a huge thing that helped me figure it out was actually a way more subtle thing than most people talk about when discussing gender: I realized that when I referred to myself as a girl or woman, it felt like I was lying. I got that little "telling a lie" twinge that you feel when you're dishonest. It was subtle, but I realized it just... felt weird to refer to myself as female. Turns out, that's because I'm not! Hope this helps.

^^

[gnc-culture-is]

i might be trans but idk who to go to to figure it out with so i came here - how do i know if i am trans? i dont really want advice that's like - 'have you ever wanted to be in a different body' or whatever because i'm perfectly okay with my body and have thought that i'd be perfectly okay with a different one, too, and i present super hyperfeminine so i'm not really sure if i'd be taken seriously by the people around me (especially my mom - supportive(?) but old-fashioned) - 💙

Do you want to be a different gender than the one you were assigned at birth? Do you feel like you already are? That’s about it. That’s what being transgender is. If those questions are even slightly yes, then… probably yeah. Whether or not you know matters a bit less than what you do with the potential, I think. Bodies are a factor, sure, but that’s just your body, and to some extent, just your sex. So… Take that as you will! Try being trans on. Give it a shot, see if it feels right. If it doesn’t? No harm done. If it does, welcome to the club! You don’t have to leave your femininity at the door.

[gnc-culture-is]

not sure if this is the right place to ask this but id figure id try asking anyway

do pronoun nonconforming people count as gnc, even if theyre gender conforming by all other accounts?

Yes. Pronoun usage is a part of gender presentation; thus using unexpected pronouns is gender nonconforming.

And, we’re happy to answer any questions to the best of our capabilities.