#Giving Koro-Sensei some kind of closure as best as I can help

[kakusu-shipping]

March 13th grows ever closer, and something about this year is making me more emotional than previous rewatches so have a little Self Insert snippet. For me.

You gained us, but lost her

A Koro-Sensei X Self Insert ficlet.

In which they talk,

The students left the field with heavy hearts, cluttered together, moving as a unit, they returned to the school building, safely down the mountain, and went home like any other day, tired and scared and aware of reality, more than they ever had been.

Karasuma was taking Kayano to the hospital the Government had already paid twice to keep quiet when Irina showed up with a broken arm and when an octopus larger than any average man turned a room into a botanical garden in attempts at apologizes. They would take care of her, with or without official documentation, which only now seemed to be a problem, and more importantly they wouldn't ask questions about her injuries, the holes in her neck, the internal burns. They'd fix it, they'd make her comfortable, and they'd keep her safe.

That's all that mattered in the end, that she was safe. She was safe, she'd live, she'd recover, and she's return to E class, and life would go on.

Standing in that field that changed everything, after all the students had filtered out, after Karasuma had taken Kayano and promised her safety with Irina close on his heels, after the fire had died and everyone else had descended the mountain, was Koro-Sensei; a man with a timer hanging over him as prominent as the broken moon in the sky, and the man he'd claimed to love for the past two months, Doctor Emile Hides.

They stood in silence, in stillness, until only the wind rustled the grass around them, until the last of the students had long reached the base of the mountain, until Karasuma's car started and his seat belt clicked.

"Emile," Koro-Sensei finally spoke, low and quiet, looking directly at him, "Is there something you wanted to say to me?"

The man across from him stood small compared to most everyone he knew, with bright red eyes and brighter white hair. Crazy patterned shirts under pristine white lab coats. He gripped a first aid kit tightly to his chest, eyes still wet from tears, glasses fogged from hot emotions pouring from his face.

He started across the field at one he thought of as the love of his life, took a deep breath,

and silently opened his arms to him.

Koro-Sensei paused at the silence from a man who'd always spoken his feelings, no matter how imperfect his wording. He stared, unsure the gesture's meaning.

Truth be told Koro-Sensei wasn't sure of much of anything anymore. He was sure, at that moment, he was tired. His body ached, his limbs shook, and he'd done everything to stand upright and tell his story clearly for his student's sake, and he was tired...

Shakily Koro-Sensei's tentacled limbs reached out for his partner's outstretched arms, almost subconsciously. His tentacles slithered under him to scoot him closer, and then gave out.

He did not hit the ground, as Emile rushed to him and collected the much larger being into his small human arms and hugged him for all he could.

Koro-Sensei's arms wrapped around Emile 4 times each, his face buried into the man's shoulder, and he trembled. He rabidly muttered apologizes, for keeping such a big secret, for putting their students in such danger, for collapsing under the weight of it all, he apologized.

Emile hugged tighter.

"I'm sorry... You lost someone so precious to you..." Emile's words were soft, full of sorrow, and genuine. Koro-Sensei attempted to pull back, and Emile held him closer, tighter, a hand on the back of his head.

"You lost her, and gained us, but you still lost her. She's gone and we'll never replace her," Emile's grip was strong, or perhaps Koro-Sensei's resistance was just weak, "You're allowed... To be sad about that."

Crying came a lot easier to Koro-Sensei sense his mutations began, especially after falling in love, first with Aguri, second with E Class, third with Emile. Crying had come so easy he felt ashamed of it at times. It was juvenile the things that made him cry, and he was well aware how pathetic such things made him look. Truth be told, he didn't care.

So he cried, shaking and clinging to his third love, he cried there in the field where he'd almost lost one of his second loves, and his first all over again, and he cried.

When his tears slowed from sobs to a small stream, and his shaking had calmed to tremors, Emile readjusted his grip and hoisted the 8 foot octopus into a princess hold, and began talking them back to the school building.

(this was not as impressive as it may sound. Koro-Sensei weights significantly less than someone who is 8 feet tall should, and Emile spent large portions of his life carrying heavy equipment to and from various laboratories.)

When they arrived back in the school building Emile laid Koro-Sensei down on the bed in the spare classroom they'd turned into a nurse's office, the one Principal Asano had stabbed the shovel of an excavator through the roof of just last month, made hot tea, and went over Koro-Sensei remaining external injuries with unnecessary gauze and gentle healing kisses.

And when Koro-Sensei eventually succumb to his exhaustion of having his heart figuratively and literally squeezed in a death grip, Emile stayed by his side and slept in his office chair tangled in a loose tentacle hold throughout the night.

The following week was the start of Winter break. There would be no students in the class. Karasuma only called to update on Kayano. Irina called to ask if Emile had gotten home safe, which he reported to not doing at all, and then promptly asked Irina to water his plants for him.

Emile's hands were warm despite the rickety old building, wrapped in his lover's hold. They walked the school grounds and reminisced, they watched shows on Emile's laptop and laughed, they told stories of the past never spoken of before and listened with great care, and most of all, They Talked.

They talked about themselves, about Aguri and Irinia and Karasuma. About the students, the school, the past, the memories, the best and worst times.

They talked about everything,

Except the future.