#Gideon why are you such a bitch I'm having so much trouble with you

[chimchiri]

I'm trying to capture the vibe I want for them and getting out a first test. There are still many rough parts which need revision or more detail - but! At least I like the hair.

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 3

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

Propaganda under the cut

Conner Bailey (The Land of Stories)

"He falls asleep in class and never hands in his work and gets bad grades but has lots of friends and a big imagination. Likes to write fantasy and science fiction (and maybe other genres as well), and bases a lot of his stories on his own adventures with his sister."

Lucy Honeychurch (A Room With A View)

"trapped in a relationship they feel obligated to maintain ? meanwhile meeting this weirdo who makes question marks out of his dinner and stuff? yeah this was so me and one point and literally helped me break up with my shitty ex. i love lucy honeychurch so much, she just wants to play dumb games with her brother and not be suffocated and live"

Greg Heffley (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

"Let's be honest, most of us in middle school were a whiny self-centric bitches, and he's a prefect example of this. He will make snarky comments and wonder why a small child cired becuase of them, find his older brother annoying, be disgusted by his younger sib, make mean jokes towards his closest friend and just KNOW that one day he'll be rich and do nothing"

Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb)

"She's a cocky butch lesbian who can't pull, and I would bet real money she's adhd. Incredibly unreliable narrator, partially because she tunes out of anything uninteresting to her (like the plot), partially because she's not on speaking terms with her own feelings. Deep down she's angry, and lonely, and convinced she's not good enough, and she's terrified to look it all in the eye. She'll keep all her feelings right here and then someday she'll die joking about it."

Akaashi Keiji (Haikyuu!!)

"Outwardly chill 99% of the time but a serial overthinker. Once screamed into his hands when stressed and acted like nothing was wrong right after (see: Image link)."

Burgerpants (Undertale)

"My propaganda is his game dialogue: - "(WHY IS THIS PERSON TRYING TO SELL ME SOMETHING THIS IS A HAMBURGER RESTAURANT I'M JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE)" - "What? Why do you keep trying to talk to me? I'll get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers. Sorry. ... SO, I wanted to be an ACTOR-." - "You've still got time. Don't live like me. I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life." - "Listen. I like you, little buddy. So I'm gonna save you a lot of trouble. Never interact with attractive people." - "Future? WHAT future? Nothing down here EVER changes. I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever. - "Ah... my boss. I love that guy. And by that I mean I hate him so, so much." - "Here's a trick, little buddy: Lie to yourself all the time. It makes you feel better." - "Even if it was just working this awful job... I think I did something! I don't know if it's true, but I'll believe it anyway!" - "Huh? Everyone else is DEAD? ... Does that mean I don't have to work today? God. That it were true, little weirdo. That it were true." - "I can't go to hell. I'm all out of vacation days." "

[xtinyslip]

"you clearly didn't leave her in enough trouble considering she's here? 'creating trouble for us now?" was that heartless? honestly, right now she was so consumed with how much she hated elaine. how BETRAYED she felt by him and the people she had trusted in most that… perhaps, she wasn't completely processing the magnitude of what he was trying to tell her. her head just wasn't in it and honestly, what little was left of her heart wasn't either. if he wasn't going to give her an actual answer? then to her right now, that was an answer in itself. "how can you say that to me with a straight face? you love me? you want me more? the only reason we are not together this instant is because you chose to believe that bitch over me. you chose to lock me in a room… when if i remember correctly? all i asked of you was TO COME HOME TO ME." she didn't believe his answer any more, that he wanted her more ; how could she? he'd put her here, and day in and out she had to listen to elaine tell her things about the two of them that she never wanted to know. "he would want to bring me home. i want to go home." tears building in her eyes because she'd never doubted that will wouldn't be on her side with this. she wouldn't doubt him in a million years. not after all he had done for her, things no one else could ever have done ; even if they tried. "you seem to have taken it upon yourself to insult me, insult our marriage but don't EVER insult him!" oh, and her tone very much implied that she meant it. "i would have shared with you... in time. i had every intention of sharing with you but at first, i needed time to figure it out for myself." and she knew will would have respectfully given her that time. she hadn't been wrong not to share it considering the situation she was in, yes? "no." she shook her head. "this was never about what was right for me. after everything… what mattered most was what was right for elaine. after everything --" she had to swallow back any emotion that had been burning its way up her throat. was she about to cry? sob? no, over her dead body but it had been very much present in that brief moment. "him? what have you done? GIDEON? my one fucking request was that you leave that boy alone. i want you to tell me you haven't done this?" she had to be wrong. her head wasn't working right, yes? that had to be it. she'd rather actually be fucking crazy than to think for a second he had done this when she specifically told him not too. "i'm safer out there where i actually stand a chance at defending myself rather than in here." she had no rights in here, she had no say - they could do whatever they wanted and it seemed the majority of the people in her life would give them a thumbs up for their efforts to destroy her. no. she was glad that her back was to him, he wouldn't see how she'd reacted to hearing that noise. 'you are the only one with the power to make this go away whilst there's still a chance. i miss you, all i can do in this hellhole is miss you. i need you to give me the chance to prove to you that i wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. after what i have experienced in here, i'm owed that. you owe me that.' even when he moved to change his position, she didn't let him go completely, knowing she couldn't. not ready to admit that it was the last thing she ever wanted to do. when he leaned down, she met him half way, gently pressing her forehead to his in return. cee now knew what she was going to do but she also knew timing was vital. if she rushed this moment, if she did anything wrong ; he could over power her and she wouldn't stand a chance at getting away. cecilia wished she could trust that he'd let her out, that he'd walk out of here and rip up any documents he'd signed but she couldn't. she couldn't trust that which was why she had to make this move, whilst she still could. moving that inch forward, she gently pressed her lips to his, well, it didn't stay as a gentle kiss for long. @fcdcdmcmories

"I.. I WASN'T A GOOD GUY BACK THEN. maybe i never really was, but.. when i met laney, i was involved in a lot of bad things. a lot of scams. anything to make some money, anything to make it by and.. she got in on them too. the point is? she trusted me. she loved me. she thought i was there for her - in a way that not even her own father was and.. when all was said and done? i left her to take the blame and took off. she paid for my mistakes. as for me? I.. I THOUGHT THAT I DID LOVE HER. ONCE. BACK THEN. I THOUGHT SHE WAS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT, BUT.. then, i.. i made a mistake and she paid for it. there's more to it, it's a long story, but.. that's mostly the sum of it. the guilt has been following me around ever since and then, i met you. that's when i learned what love really is. what it is supposed to be. i did care for her, but.. i know now that love.. actually love someone? I'VE ONLY EVER LOVED YOU LIKE THAT," it wasn't an answer. in fact, he was avoiding the actual truth and the way that he and elaine did know each other. he had told her something, yes, but.. it was just the simple version of the STORY, when there was so MUCH MORE to it. but he knew that when it came out? when he told her? nothing would be the same again AND PERHAPS, HE WAS A COWARD. "it's not like that. my past with her is complicated, yes, but.. i love you. i want you. i do. more than anyone else." was that an answer? maybe not, but.. it was all that he had right now. he thought that a part of him would always love elaine, but.. he hadn't known what love was like back then. with her. what he had done to her? he would have never done to cecilia. ever. BACK THEN? HE HADN'T KNOWN WHAT TRUE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE WAS LIKE. he had only ever felt that for the woman standing in front of him. "yeah.. more at me than with me. he knows that you're here. well, not here, but.. he knows that you.. have gone to get the help you need. if i were to bring him here? he'd want to take you home. I'M NOT SURE HE HASN'T GONE OVER TO PEDERSON'S SIDE TOO, SO.. THAT CAN'T HAPPEN YET. I'M SORRY." shaking his head. no, he hadn't liked will's tone in the slightest and perhaps, that showed. "and not with me? because you knew i wouldn't agree?" more than that. the words? they made him take a step backwards, shaking his head. it was as if she had slapped him. he would have preferred that if that happened. "I.. I'M SORRY, I.. I DIDN'T WANT TO. THAT WASN'T MY INTENTION. I.. I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT I WAS TRYING TO.. DO WHAT WAS RIGHT. FOR YOU." looking down at the ground, because hand over his heart, that was how this had started. it had been his intention at first and no, he didn't want to think about how badly this had turned out to be. "he's had enough of all of this too, cee.. he just wants to see you safe. he's willing to do what it takes and as a matter of fact, pederson trusts him. it's only a matter of time." the DOUBT was clear in his expression. "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. would you believe me if i said that a part of me started this because.. i wanted to keep you safe? i know it seems so far fetched, but.. YOU ARE NOT SAFE WHILE HE'S STILL BREATHING." without thinking, he placed his hands on his pockets, hitting the keys accidentally, as they jingled. he didn't think too much of it, considering that they were mixed with his car keys and wallet and the rest. he let his chin rest against her shoulder for a second, giving her hand a squeeze, as he laced their fingers together for a second. i don't want this to continue. i miss you. so much. i wished that it didn't have to. i wish that it could just be you and me again, and.. i'd take you out of here right now if i knew you weren't going to run back to him, but.. how can i be sure of that? around her, he did not think. without any spoken words, he didn't let go of her completely. instead, he changed his position, moving to stand in front of her instead, keeping one arm wrapped around her waist and letting his forehead rest against her own for a second. around her? it was impossible to not let his guard down. @xtinyslip

[will-on-the-internet]

Okay I had a quick question because I've seen it around a bit, I think I may have also seen it on your page, why is Rossi disliked? I'm still in the earlier seasons so I might have just not gotten to it yet and I sometimes just have trouble reading into things so that very well could factor into my confusion. Also this is a genuine question.

Thank you so much! ❤

Okay sweet anon, thank you for the question! Honestly, I might not be the best person to ask, since I’m still in season 4, but here's what I think!

And just to make clear, this is all my opinion! Please be kind if you disagree and don’t treat it as fact. I know some who love Rossi for the man he is, and that’s fine!

There’s a general consensus that Rossi is a racist. Now, please don’t quote me on that because I could be misremembering that but I don’t like Rossi for some other reasons too.

I think, personally for me, he came in really aggressively, he was rude and mean and still thinking that he was the boss of the BAU even after being gone for 10 years. He doesn’t trust, doesn’t justify his actions when he definitely should, doesn’t apologise when he hurts or offends people, and he’s just a smug son of a bitch that could be taken down a few notches. He acts like he knows everything, acts as if people should follow his lead, and acts as if it’s okay to be a hypocrite, and his whole character never sat right with me. Now, I know they needed someone to replace Gideon, who I definitely think was better than Rossi, but I think they went about it all wrong and I don’t enjoy the episodes that are focused on him, especially 3x11 which in my opinion is just a BAD episode. Trust me, I could write a whole essay on why I find that episode so disturbing, but I’m not gonna right now. 

I dunno, I get why he’s an important part of the show, a needed member of the team, but right now, I don’t care for him, and I don’t think he fits in well with the rest. But that’s just my opinion, take what you will from that, anon.

Thank you! Will x

[whump-town]

ajadhkhdh that's okay! The gist of my ask was: what do you think abt Derek and Aaron's (platonic) relationship? I really think it's the most underrated friendship within the core 7. (Then again, I'm generally biased towards the two of them) so I was wondering if you had any headcanons/fic ideas for them specifically? Like after the events of Restoration, or after Hotch reveals thst Emily is not dead, that sort of thing.

I do have an ask for Restoration Hotch and Morgan so I’m going to go ahead and include what I wrote for that plus what I thought of when you asked this^^:

They’re a match made in Adrenaline Crash Hell.

Problems with authority?

Issues trusting men?

Trouble magnets?

It unnerves Haley every time she kisses her husband goodbye knowing she’s sending him out there with his equally as injury-prone partner. She loves Derek Morgan. He’s a doll and she invites him over for dinner all the time (also to occasionally get him to help Aaron do handy-man stuff around the house because she loves her husband but the man doesn’t understand woodwork at all).

They’re an unstoppable pair. 

Hotch is a fantastic sharp-shooter and he makes quick work of tongue-tying any cops that get into their way. Not to mention his legal knowledge gets them one foot in the door and guaranteed loopholes in problems that other pairs can’t solve.

Morgan is a charmer and paired with his good looks, he gains the trust of victims with ease. Not to mention, he’s fast on his feet and a close reader which means he won’t miss a single piece of evidence in a file. He excels in defusing explosives and that’s what sets them apart. 

It’s why Morgan gets sent back to Quantico with fragments of a bomb to put back together when Hotch gets sent to the hospital. 

Morgan stands in the bullpen, numb as he watches over and over as the news plays that scene on repeat. Just as it ends, they play that little clip-- the men wearing FBI kevlar and cops infiltrating the building. The radio static and Gideon’s voice giving the okay to move in. Morgan wonders when he’s going to get the call-- when Gideon’s voice is going to come through his phone and tell him he has to call Haley.

To tell her Hotch is dead…

and Jason Gideon killed him.

He manages to forgive Gideon for making him feel that hopeless. What he can’t forgive is what Gideon does to Hotch.

“The Black Queen--” Hotch informs him, one hand firmly planted on the wall ahead of him and the other tightly gripping a sleek black cane. He’s breathless and struggling to work through the pain that feels like it’s in every nerve of his body. But he’s refused Morgan’s help three times and he won’t cave on that now. 

With a sigh, he forces his body upright. His leg gives and Morgan grabs his shoulders. “Alright, man,” Morgan grunts and he forces Hotch back into the wheelchair the nurse had given them just in case. Good thing too. He lets out a breath of his own, feeling extremely better now that he won’t have to watch Hotch force his body to move in ways that it clearly does not want to.

Morgan pats Hotch’s shoulder, “what were you saying about this Black Queen chick?”

Despite just being taken off of bed rest and only being okayed for short walks this week, Hotch has already hired two new members of the team. Of their team, because as far they know, Jason Gideon will not be returning and Hotch is acting Unit Cheif until they can find somebody better-- which they know is a ploy because no one else can do the job.

Which makes the two of them the only members of the team. 

Living, that is.

Hotch chews on the end of his nails as he informs Morgan about the hacker recently caught in the FBI’s web. It makes him smile, Morgan can appreciate Hotch’s creativity in this new team. He’s good at this.

JJ had been the first person Hotch hired. She’d joined their little force last week as a media liaison and Morgan liked her right off the bat. She’d come to the hospital and Morgan had watched in shock but extreme amusement as she took right to arguing with Hotch. Not in a bad way but more of a “No, sir, you won’t be getting any paperwork until your doctor signs off on it. As that is the requirement you have to meet under federal guidelines and… because I said so.”

Needless to say, they love her. Not many people have the balls to tell Hotch no. It makes her perfect for the job.

She makes their jobs easier and she fully understands that while Hotch and Morgan are not currently physically capable of the job, it is in no way waiting for them to be ready.

There’s a slightly maddened look in Hotch’s eyes as he leans forward and tells Morgan about how much a genius this woman, the Black Queen, is. Then again, the poor man has had nothing to do for weeks and he’s taken this small task and really ran with it. It definitely doesn’t help that he’s desperate need of a hair cut and in pajamas. 

Going to interview Penelope Garcia is the first time Hotch leaves the hospital in months.

He’s promptly taken right back but he’s smiling the whole way.

Their team of four has weekly meetings in the hospital. 

Then Hotch hires Reid.

It’s strange at first but one night, as Morgan’s falling asleep it suddenly occurs to him-- That son of a bitch. Hotch and Morgan both struggle to trust men which has had a lot to do with Hotch’s hires being all women. Then Hotch does hire another “man” and it’s some scrappy-ass runt of a genius-- so, of course, Morgan hadn’t even flinched. He hadn’t even thought twice before taking the kid under his arm.

Of course, Hotch has Reid spending all his time with Gideon but he’s still a part of the team. 

But Hotch heals and returns to active duty. Gideon stays on campus. 

And then it all comes crashing in once again.

Morgan is the one to advocate for Elle. He doesn’t say a word to Hotch-- he doesn’t know why. He just goes straight up to Gideon and tells the man that they can’t pass up on a spunky woman like Elle Greenaway. 

He gets the impression Hotch doesn’t completely support this idea-- not Greenaway, just not the idea that Morgan went to Gideon instead of him.

Their friendship... struggles as Hotch takes on the full responsibilities of Unit Cheif. He’s not as fun and Morgan would prefer hanging out with the kid and Elle, so he does. 

Tobias Hankle forces them to confront that ruined friendship the moment Derek Morgan utters those simple words: “you’re a drill sergeant”.

But they remain one in the same.

“I have and always will entrust you with my life. Can you do the same for me?”

“I love my job, man.” “You love him more.”

“I don’t want you going to see Burford.”

The stand-off between the federal agents standing in the middle of the police station is clear. A battle that goes past wills and the inhibitions of troubled youths. The kind of trouble that runs deeper than still water. Trauma that grown men can’t shake. That these grown men haven’t shaken.

“Hotch, I can do this.”

Maybe, Hotch considers. Maybe Derek can to a certain degree. The way that Hotch handles it after case. The way they all handle it. “Fine,” he relents. He can’t burn the bridge between the two of them over something as stupid as egos and abusers. Not when their pasts intertwine the way they do. Braided. “Fine but I’m coming with you.”

Because if they’re going to do this, they’re going to do it together.

More or less.

There’s no denying how weak his own knees feel as Hotch watches Morgan take Buford’s hand. So, when Morgan looks him dead in the eyes and lies-- and deceives him with the excuse that he’s going to “use the head before we leave” Hotch lets him. It’s the same small infraction he’d need Morgan to allow him. The same infraction Morgan has allowed him.

“Derek? You did a great thing out there.”

The jet has been silent, for the most part. It’s only the right amount of small talk, mangled by Dave’s encouraging words. Mangled by the call.

Hotch recognizes the tone, the far off look in Derek’s eyes as he pulls his phone away from his ear. “What happened?” he can hardly push the question past his lips. Because he already knows the swell of tangled emotions. The way that anger melts into fear and doubt. The way relief wraps its cold fingers around your sternum and burns with the passion of loss. 

Because deep, deep down… Hotch still loved his father. 

“Carl Buford is dead.” 

Bile stings the back of Hotch’s throat but he remains silent and still when Morgan stands. He assumes the other man is feeling the same burning disgust. Anger with himself for being upset. Anger with Buford for making him love him in some twisted way. 

And Morgan can’t find the means to understand it. Hotch loved his abuser because he was his father. Carl was… Carl was nothing and everything and Morgan crawled his way from the muddied pits of hell without Carl and yet--

“Breathe--” he can’t even make it to the bathroom before he sinks to his knees. “It’s alright.” It’s taken Morgan years to get to a place where the presence of another man, hell an older man, doesn’t startle him. Still, sometimes someone steps too close and he flinches or gets frustrated and he can’t even explain why. 

But Hotch surrounds him. He uses his body to block the other’s from Morgan’s direct line of sight and all Morgan knows is the painful throb in his chest and the reassuring hand placed on his back. Morgan finds comfort in that hand. In Hotch who he knows without a shred of doubt not only understands but shares a fraction of his pain. 

“Just breathe, Derek.” 

Hotch looks up, his knees aching from squatting. “Blake, can you grab a water bottle? JJ, can you get me a rag?” He stays right here beside his old friend. So much as changed from those beginning years as two young and dumb agents. 

But they’re still the same broken men. 

“Hotch?”

Hotch shakes his head, “I’m right here, Derek. Always.”

[bobasheebaby]

75 Criminal Minds Prompts

Some of these can easily go very, very dirty, and yes I’m talking about Morgan and Garcia conversations and honestly would it be a list without them?

1 “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ― Hotch

2 “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to someone.”― David Rossi

3 “Destroying a book is like…destroying a whole world.” — Diana Reid 

4 “Trust me, kiddo. I’ve been here before.” ― David Rossi

5 “I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning. We just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.” — Emily Prentiss 

6 “He is the perfect man. He doesn’t hog the covers, and he poops in a box.” — Emily Prentiss 

7 “Went on a diet last night. Lost 185 pounds.” — Dr. Tara Lewis 

8 “Marital bliss followed by marital diss! Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” — Penelope Garcia

9 “I don’t take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.” — Derek Morgan 

10 “You know, I've learned that, in the short time I've had the privilege of being a dad... it heals wounds, just being there for your kid.” — David Rossi

11 “What makes you feel confident?” “Statistics.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

12 “NAME , believe me when I say this, I've never known a normal day in my entire life.” — Dr Spencer Reid

13 “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss.” — Dr Spencer Reid

14 “No one gets therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication.” “What are you implying, NAME?” “That everyone is medicated.” — Dr Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia

15 “He/She doesn't give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green.” — Dr Spencer Reid

16 “I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do.” “I never said that. When have I ever said that?” “Every day since I met you!” — Dr Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan

17 “I never have any normal fans.” — Dr Spencer Reid

18 “Hey, Baby Girl, whatever you’re doing, drop it.” — Derek Morgan

19 “Talk to me, Baby Girl.” — Derek Morgan

20 “There you go, Baby Girl, that’s sweet.” — Derek Morgan

21 “Give it to me, doll face.” — Derek Morgan

22 “Hey, doll face. Ready to work some magic for me?” — Derek Morgan

23 “Hey, silly girl. I love you, you know that, right?” — Derek Morgan

24 “Hey girl, you’re on speaker. Behave.” “Or what, you’ll spank me?” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

25 “It was once said that love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.” — Derek Morgan

26 “Hey baby girl, I need you to work that magic of yours.” “Rub my lamp, release the Genie.” — Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia

27 “You really are afraid of the dark.” “I'm working on that.” “You should work a little harder.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

28 “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?” — Derek Morgan

29 “Oh, and if you hate sad stories as much as I do, you should leave the room right now, 'cause this is super sad!” — Penelope Garcia

30 “Enchantress of all things possible, use your imagination.” — Penelope Garcia

31 “My least three favorite words strung together: I don't know.” — Penelope Garcia

32 “Hello, my pretties. I have seen the wizard and he granted my wish.” — Penelope Garcia

33 “She knew where to toe the line between right and raunchy.” — Penelope Garcia

34 “OK, let me get you on a secret: Guys, we don’t do well on subtle clues, OK? You got to be direct, straight up. Just tell him exactly what you want!” — Derek Morgan

35 “It’s who you are, Baby Girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never gonna change, and I won’t let it.” — Derek Morgan

36 “NAME, people need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that.” — Hotch

37 “Don't you have something better to do?” “Than to annoy you for three hours? Hell no.” — Hotch and Derek Morgan

38 “I think, deep down, we're all capable of unspeakable things. Where it starts or what you call it, I don't know.” — Hotch

39 “NAME, this is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.” “And I need to know that I can be human.” — Hotch and Emily Prentiss

40 “Scars show us where we have been, they do not dictate where we are going.” — Rossi

41 “You don't need to do anything you don't want to. Understand?” — Rossi

42 “Just be careful. That ego of yours is going to get you in trouble." — Rossi

43 “Somewhere along the line, I put myself first. I admit it, but I can't go back and change it." — Rossi

44 “It could be that, after all of these years, I rewrote history." — Rossi

45 “Time will pass and slowly you will find how much it hurts. And, maybe, you'll find something else to fill that empty space." — Rossi

46 “Where you headed?” “Nowhere in particular.” “How will you know when you get there?” — Rose and Gideon

47 “Only a man would waste $50 trying to win back that $3 stuffed animal.” — JJ

48 “This is my favorite part. This is where you hang yourself with your own tongue. So, please keep talking.” — JJ

49 “My father/mother believes that children shouldn't be shielded from the realities of the world. I do! Isn't that why we read them fairy tales in the first place?” — JJ

50 “Oh god, please tell me you don't have a crush on a fictional character.” — JJ

51 “You are the best ever.” “Aw, and you're the most perceptive.” — JJ and Garcia

52 “I once dated a guy/girl who washed his/her car more than he/she washed his/her hair.” — JJ

53 “Don't tell me what I want and don't want.” — JJ

54 “You do what it takes to protect your family.” — JJ

55 “Look, I don't speak smartass.” — Michael Russo

56 “How's it having NAME around?” “You can have him/her back whenever you would like.” Hotch and Garcia

57 “So, NAME, when are you and NAME walking down the aisle?” “Hey, whoa, whoa. Baby steps. Baby steps.” “When NAME says "I do", it'll be a national day of mourning for single men/women everywhere.” — Rossi, Morgan and Reid

58 “Ugh! This heat is brutal!” “You know, it isn't so much the heat as it is the humidity.” “At some point, it doesn't matter how you look at it. It all sucks.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid

59 “Need a minute?” “So, so badly.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

60 “Hey. I came as soon as I could. What's wrong?” — Matt Simmons

61 “We ask questions, and we come home.” “No creepy weirdness?” “No weirdness.” “Good, 'cause I'm about full up in the creepy weirdness department for one night.” — Matt Simmons and Penelope Garcia

62 “Ooh, what about this one? Sunny, two-bedroom. It's close to work. And it's in your price range.” “NAME, you're moving? You don't like change.” “That's true. Change is my kryptonite. But the apartment is no longer a sanctuary. I have a new neighbor. Window's right here. He enjoys doing naked kung fu. Some things you cannot unsee.” — JJ, Simmons and Garcia

63 “Thank you.” “For what?” “For being you.” “Aw, thanks. I don't know how to be anyone else.” — Emily Prentiss and Dr Spencer Reid

64 “When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her. She wants him to shut up and listen.” — Emily Prentiss

65 “I just feel I can't understand others' emotions if I don't deal with my own, you know?” “The best way out is always through.” “Too bad it's not always the easiest one.” “You're not kidding.” — Dr Tara Lewis and Rossi

66 “It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.” — Diana Reid

67 “I don’t hate you ... I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.” — Dr Spencer Reid

68 “There are many paths to the same place. Trust me.” “Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.” — Hotch

69 “I’m always right. Also, you’re secretly in love with me.” — Penelope Garcia

70 “I just gave the bartender my number in Roman numerals. If he/she figures it out, he’s/she’s worth a shot.” — Dr Spencer Reid

71 “Shh, the adults are talking. When it’s your turn to speak, I’ll give you permission. Okay?” — JJ

72 “Hey, mama, tell me something I don’t know.” — Derek Morgan

73 “Talk dirty to me.” — Penelope Garcia

75 “Hey, don’t make me spank you when I get back.” “Don’t listen time him/her, NAME, he’s/she’s all talk.” — Derek Morgan and Dr Spencer Reid