#Getting off at 2 PM is nice I suppose but I'm so TIRED after work.

[iero]

Those memes that are like 'Do NOT ask me to do anything after 8 PM because I will say no.'... Brother, bump that up to maybe 4 or 5 PM maybe and you would have me.

[silentcryracha]

❍ ‗ Diamond (Yang Jeongin) ‗ ❍

Pairing : Yang Jeongin x f reader

Summary : The newly 23 year old gets a special gift from his leader and roommate for his birthday.

Genre/ Warnings : skz are idols but it's not connected, reader is an escort and a bit older (2-3 years, not specified), there's some build up to it, smut (18+) MINORS DNI, virgin!Jeongin, masturbation (both receiving), fingering (f receiving), oral (both receiving), penetrative sex (protected), a tiny bit of food play, praise/guidance, loss of virginity (m), it's not going to be 100% smooth because it's his first time yk

Word count : 8.50 K

A/n : I just saw from my notes this was meant to be an 'early gift' for Innie..meaning it's literally here from january..my bro was NOT going to see the light. + VERY new addition about the dorms?? Jeongchan did it for the plot specifically yep

ps: There could be grammar errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The started with a Bang. Literally. As In Chan Bang literally jumping head first into Jeongin's bed.

"Heya there birthday boy!" He yelled as he ruffled the younger boy's ginger hair.

"Mmmh hyung-" he whined as he tried to slip back under the duvet to cover himself from Chan's attack.

"Is our baby ready for his big day? Twenty three already? Oh my gosh" the aussie kept talking, but had finally stopped his hands so Jeongin could breathe again.

"Yeah" he replied, still with sleep in his voice. Chan made a 'woah' noise.

"Even the baby's voice became so much deeper. Yah, I feel thrice as old now." Jeongin shook his head in humor.

"Well then, what time is it, old man? I would've gladly slept it off today" he sighed. Chan made a stank face at the words 'old man' and then checked his phone.

"Don't say that. It's Seungmin's line." He replied, "We still have about fourty minutes before the team comes pick us up. Wanna eat?"

Jeongin nodded with a yawn, as Chan jumped out of bed, fresh as a bird.

"I'm not gonna tell you now, just know that I prepared a surprise for tonight!" He sang-talked as he speed out of the youngest' room. Jeongin didn't even have the time to ask him what he had planned before he disappeared.

To be quite honest, he was so tired and underwhelmed at the idea of going practice that he barely cared.

-

The day went on almost like any other practice day. Dancing practice, some vocal lessons, lunch break. Everyone, from his members to other idols and staff, wished him a happy birthday. He politely smiled, bowed and thanked them all.

From the members tho he got extra hugs, pick ups, piggy backs, kisses and hair ruffling. He was truly the toy of the day. But he loved them nonetheless.

As the final schedule of the day, he actually had to do an hour long livestream, to spend some of his birthday with the fans, like tradition.

He actually enjoyed having a bit of relaxed fun, just eating some cake, reading a few comments and unboxing a couple of unserious presents that his manager selected for him.

After he said bye to the fans, it was around eight pm, and he knew that the members wanted to take him out for dinner and drinks. So he thanked the staff one last time, picked up his stuff and headed out with the group in two cars.

They drove to a nice place, nothing too fancy, it may have been his birthday but they were still supposed to be lowkey. And besides, everyone was kinda tired from practice. It was a typical Korean hotpot place, where they had a whole room booked for them, with a nice view of the Han river. It was raining and cold outside.

"I propose a toast for our maknae. Our baby, our fennec fox, our baby bread. Our amazing Jeongin, who grew up so well and worked so hard." Hyunjin raised a bottle of soju, and the others followed suit.

"Happy birthday our Yenah!" Changbin cheered, maybe a bit too loudly, which made Jisung slap his bicep and the others laugh as they joined in the cheering.

"Thank you, thank you." the ginger boy raised a hand to stop them, "Thank you for the meal, and for being the best coworkers I could've asked for. For being my brothers"

The whole table cooed and awed, some reaching out for a cheek pinch, some for a hug. He did truly feel so lucky.

-

When they finally decided to go home, it was about eleven pm. Not that late for a friend's night out, but they we're going clubbing. Half of them was barely standing up.

Jeongin was helping Jisung walk out to the car, hopefully not drawing too much attention on them. Then Jeongin went in the car with his roommate Chan of course, and two drunk idiots Felix and Seungmin behind.

Chan, who was completely sober, drove them safely to their apartment and made sure that they got in safe before coming back behind the wheel.

"Thank you again for the dinner and the bracelet, hyung" he bowed slightly, with a shy smile. The oldest nodded, with a small smile himself.

"It's nothing." He replied, "But you still remember what I said this morning right?"

Jeongin frowned for a second, rethinking it, and then answering.

"Wasn't the bracelet the surprise?" The genuine confusion in his voice amused Chan, which chuckled a bit.

"Nope."

"Oh" the brown haired man gazed at him quickly before going back to look at the road.

"I'm going to tell you. Promise not to overreact." Those words worried the younger man a bit, but at the end of the day, it was still Chan hyung he was talking to. Surely he wouldn't put him in some shit.

So he stayed silent and nodded. Slowly, he started to actually notice that he wasn't driving towards their apartment, but elsewhere.

"I booked a special night for you. With a woman." Jeongin's eyes went wide, but before he could open his mouth, Chan raised a single finger stopping him.

"It's a very safe and professional place. I know the girl in question, which is how I know you'll have a good time." He explained.

"But why? How do you know her?" The younger one asked. Chan shook his head slightly.

"It doesn't matter. Right now we are driving to luxury hotel, which offers this type of service, but it's very secretive. You can decide to do it or not, but I want you to know that you'll be safe." He kept going, "I did it because I feel like it could be a fun experience, and also because I'm quite tired to hear you get off in two seconds through the wall. Might as well put all that sex drive somewhere right?" He teased, making Jeongin choke on his own saliva, making him hide his flushed face in between his hands.

"I didn't know you could hear! I'm sorry!" He apologized, embarassed. Chan laughed.

"I mean it's normal! Walls are thin and all that. But you're a young man with needs, it's normal. I'm just saying, maybe this could give you a bit of confidence to explore this." He shrugged.

Just at that point he drove to the front of an enormous building, and told him to get off the car. He exited the vehicle too and a staff member was ready to greet them, then take Chan's car keys to actually park it.

Chan put an encouraging hand behind Jeongin's back, both of them still wearing the sporty caps to keep lowkey. They walked to the reception, and a young man greeted them.

"Good evening, yes. I have a reservation with this ID." Chan didn't say either of their names, he just showed a document on his phone to the guy.

He checked, took a quick look on the computer, then nodded.

"Yes, there is. I'll get your keys in a moment, sirs. Would you like some refreshments from the bar? It will be closed soon." He offered politely. Both of the young men shook their heads, and the receptionist bowed before going to get the keys.

He came back with two magnetic cards, and vaguely instructed them to take the elevator to the floor indicated on the card, then added a few formalities about the utilities of the hotel, before finally letting them go.

Chan and Jeongin walked towards the elevators, where two staff members were standing by each side. One of them, a professionally and meticulously styled woman, gave them a polite smile, pushing the buttons for them.

"Good evening sirs" she spoke, "May I see your cards, so I can give you directions at best of my abilities?"

Chan didn't speak and just handed over the two cards. She took them and looked at the golden one first, which was Chan's, and then at the silver one which was Jeongin's.

She quickly gave them a look, then put back on the polite smile, giving back the cards to them.

"Thank you, sirs. I will ride with you and drop you off at the correct floors." She bows slightly, exactly at the moment in which the elevator doors open next to her.

She opens her arms, directing them politely towards the entrance. The two men get on, and she does too, standing in front of them, commanding the buttons.

She pushes the tenth floor, but before the elevator does anything, a side light flashes for a second, and the woman presses her card to it. A small 'bip' signaled approval, and only then the elevator steadily sped upwards.

Jeongin in the meantime was getting more and more anxious. He literally thought anything but this. If he's being honest, yes he was horny. Yes, he wanted to try sex. But was he willing to do this to get it? Would it be that wrong, if he did? He's not forcing anyone at the end of the day. But what would his ego think about this?

Before his mind could go even more on a tangent, the elevator stopped and the doors opened again. This time it showed a long corridor, but it did have something different.

The spacing between the doors was huge but there were actually only five rooms. Each of them had a shape of a heart made in different materials. Expensive looking ones, and each one different. They looked like... expensive gemstones?

But what caught the eye first were definitely the two big beefy men standing right at the start of said corridor. Like guards. Which soon enough, Jeongin learned to actually be security.

"Good evening" the lady said to one of them. He gave her a small nod.

"Good evening." He replied professionally, "May I have your card?" He then spoke directly to Jeongin. He looked down at his silver card, then back up at the man. He gave it to him.

He pulled out a small phone from his elegant jacket's inner pocket, turned around and most probably checked the information. Then put it back inside, and gave the card back to Jeongin.

"You are verified. But I need the other gentleman to leave before I give further instructions, please." Chan nodded with a small smile, giving Jeongin a couple of reassuring pats on the back.

"See you tomorrow, bro. Should you need me for anything, I'm on room 2060, floor twelfth, alright?" He made sure the younger boy looked at him, "But I'm sure you'll be fine."

Then he got closer one last time, whispering 'have fun' with a hint of teasing in his tone. After that both him and the lady disappeared back into the elevator.

"You may go, sir. Your room is number five, the diamond. Just at the very bottom of the corridor." The security guard's voice startled him a bit when he turned around.

"When you get there you will have to ring a bell. When the light goes from red to green, the door will be opened. Enjoy your evening, sir."

Jeongin listened carefully as he was given back the card. Without really saying anything, he gave both men a quick nod and then slowly walked towards the diamond room.

The young man looked at every single room as he walked: from left to right, numbers one to four. Opal, Blue Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald and last but not least, Diamond.

Jeongin arrived in front of his assigned door, looking around for the bell they told him about. He wasn't seeing anything, until he understood that they didn't mean an actual bell, but a small white button. With sweaty hands he pressed it, and it became red.

After a minute the button turned green, and the door opened. As soon as he looked up, he found in front of himself a stunning woman. Girl. Definitely a bit older, maybe around his hyungs' ages.

She had some essential and very classy make up, her hair were loose on her shoulders perfectly styled, and she was wearing a silk, opaque silver, dress which fit her perfectly, the draping adorning her bosom and falling on her hips like a statue.

It wasn't just the package that was beautiful though, he knew it as soon as he managed to take a look at her face. She was truly beautiful, so elegant and feminine.

"Good evening. You are Fox, correct?" It took him a couple of seconds to let sink in what she had asked, her voice smooth like butter.

He slightly shook his head to get a grip, then just nodded. He didn't know why she was calling him 'fox' but he assumed that that's the nickname Chan picked to protect his identity.

She smiled politely, as she invited him in. He was so charmed by now that it seemed like his body was moving on his own. Maybe Chan was right, maybe he desperately needed to get laid if that's the reaction he had simply seeing a beautiful woman up close.

She closed the door behind him, pushing another button, which turned blue. Then after a few seconds, white again. Well Chan certainly wasn't kidding when he told him to not sorry about privacy or safety.

He took a moment to look at his surroundings: it was a medium sized room, not too wide. It had a large king sized bed in the center, perfectly made with cream and white bedding and pillows. By its right and left there were two small bedside tables, above them each had a very small lamp attached to the walls.

The ground had a perfectly clean and intact grey moquette. There was a small room on the right, which he assumed was a private bathroom, while on the left, lining with the bed, there was a huge window that had a beautiful scenery of the night city. They were partially covered with half pulled heavy cream colored curtains.

Then, on the left but at the opposite end of the room, near the entrance door, there was a small and essential open wardrobe, with a couple of empty hangers, some extra white towels, and a safe.

A safe on which the woman was putting a passcode. He assumed to take something out, but it turns out that whatever she had to take, was already on the small round table at his left. Right near the big window.

On the small transparent table there were some papers, a small bottle of champagne and a bottle of water in an ice bucket, two empty glasses, and a single big triangle shaped piece of cake. It looked like strawberry and cream. Two small forks on the side of the dish.

"Welcome, nice to meet you, Fox." She stood in front of him, a few feet away. She had perfect posture, he noticed.

"Thank You" he managed to croak out, then clearing his voice a bit, "What's your name?"

She smiled politely, but with a hint of humor.

"My name is Diamond." he scoffed a bit, with the faintest laugh. He was so nervous he felt lightheaded.

"I'm sure" her small smile didn't disappear, instead, she just tilted her head for the side.

"Well, that's the best I can offer you tonight", she paused, "Fox." He immediately picked up on the irony in her voice, which made him shake his head a bit.

"I didn't pick it. I actually didn't even chose to come here." his voice held confusion, like he truly couldn't believe where he actually was and for what reason.

Her expression softened, leaving behind the humor. She took a couple steps forward. She watched the boy's reaction carefully, but he didn't flinch. That's good.

"I know. That's how I'm going to Introduce the contract, so then after you can decide what you wanna do." she started, reaching her arm out to pick up the papers. There were three-four pages at maximum.

"I'm going to give you the essential summary, but if you want to read it by yourself you can." The woman looked at each page, explaining to Jeongin the contents.

"On the first page is essentially a copy of the info we were sent beforehand when the reservation was made. So your 'name'" she air quoted the word, "Your ID code, a personal emergency number, and the technical details about the reservation. A part of them is hidden specifically by request of the payer, which was not you." She continued.

"And here you have to put the first signature to confirm these info. On page two it's just some rules, like if you break you pay, you are mutually required to respect my privacy as I do yours, you take responsibility of any intentional harm done to me and vice versa, then consent for intimacy, and there's an empty line of you have to add any boundaries that I have to keep in mind. The another signature." She explained, pretty bored.

"Then there's page three which is basically a bunch of copy paste privacy, security and legal terms in case something happens. Page four Is just the last bit of page three, and at the bottom there's finally the last signature." She paused, "If you agree and sign all the papers, then I can co-sign them too and put them in the safe so that they will be archived correctly. Got it?"

Jeongin sighed, slumping his shoulders a bit.

"That sounds like a lot"

"It really isn't, if you really think about it. Unless you have any intention of causing harm or disruption. Which I don't think you do, am I correct?" She smirked a little. The young man shook his head with conviction.

"Alright then, I'll leave you a moment to take care of it." She nudged her head towards the papers and pen. Jeongin walked up and took a quick read, mainly the highlighted stuff, then was about to sign, but hesitated.

He kept his head down, a bit embarassed, as he spoke.

"After I sign this...can I-, I mean, can I still change my mind?" The woman was a little surprised to see him so hesitant. She tried to put even more sincerity in her response.

"Yes, of course. You can change your mind before and during. I'd say after, but well, once it's done, it's done." She chuckled. Surprisingly, he smiled too.

"Yeah" he agreed, finally signing the papers one by one. He then gathered them, passing them in Diamond's hands. She smiled, bowed a bit and thanked him, before putting the documents back in the safe.

"Alright!" She exclaimed with a smile, "I couldn't offer it unless we settled that stuff first, but, would you like something to drink? As you can see we have plain water or, for the occasion, some Champagne."

The ginger haired boy waved his hand to refuse.

"Not for now, thank you. I had dinner not too long ago." She nodded, suddenly lighting up.

"Ah, yes, happy birthday by the way" she winked. Jeongin bowed his head as a thank you, visibly more relaxed. Still not a hundred percent, but he doesn't want to necessarily combust anymore.

"Thanks. You were told this prior? How does it work?" He asked curiously.

"Let's get comfortable first, alright? Take off your shoes, jacket. Whatever you feel like. Also, I'm sure you saw it, but there's a bathroom if you need to freshen up." She invited as she gently helped the young man take off his puffer jacket.

"Yes, I was told that it was going to be a birthday gift. That, plus your nickname and the fact that you didn't have much experience. Everything was optional except if you were intimate before. It's a yes or no question, to give a hint more than anything." She explained, as Jeongin got comfortable.

He did as she suggested, being left with just his jeans, underwear, a tank top and a lightweight hoodie on top. He sat on the bed, leaning back a bit to relax.

He nodded, understanding. He didn't really know what to say, but he was starting to feel at ease, so the woman took the initiative. She went to get the small plate with the birthday cake on it, then sat beside him on the bed.

"I don't know about you, but this cake does smell delicious. Does the birthday boy want a bite?" She smiled, looking at him with a flirty look. He blushed slightly, nodding.

"You can tell me a bit about your past experiences, if you have any. What you'd like to do, basically anything." She cut a piece of cake with the dessert fork, guiding it to his lips, which he gently opened.

"I did very little...making out, some touches and humping above the clothes." He shrugged as he chewed. His eyes lit up at how good it it was, and it was so obvious that it made the woman chuckle.

"I see. Do you have a girlfriend?" She gave him another bite. He frowned and shook his head vigorously at the question.

"Cha-" he stops himself before saying his friend's full name, " My friend wouldn't have set this up if I had. I wouldn't have accepted either." He explained. She nodded in agreement, satisfied.

"Good. I hate cheaters." The boy couldn't help but give her an unintentional look. She noticed and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, look, I think you noticed this place has certain standards. I speak for myself here, I don't go with busy men. If they are and they don't lie about it, I turn them down. I pick who to..." She paused for a second, trying to find the right word, "- work with."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to seem rude." The ginger haired boy apologized, taking another small bite of cake. Half of it was gone already.

"No, I get it. It's okay. You don't look mean, anyway." She gave him a lopsided smile, "Didn't find the right person yet?"

"I guess? I'm very...busy. it's a bit complicated. I'm not really sure why it didn't happen yet. I had crushes but that's it. Not now though, I don't like anyone." He shrugged. He didn't feel uncomfortable talking to her, but he was careful about oversharing. He didn't even fully know if she recognized him or not.

"It's normal. You're young, and if you're here, you're probably in a special situation." She raised an eyebrow, not elaborating further but hinting at the fact that if he didn't have a shit ton of money and need for privacy, maybe he'd be in a random alley and not an extremely expensive luxury hotel.

"In any case, I hope you'll find someone soon. I'm sure you're not gonna have issues, you're really handsome." Her compliment made Jeongin blush, squinting his eyes shut for a second.

"Thank you" he responded timidly. She struggled to contain a smile. He was so cute.

"Well, in any case, tonight you're free to enjoy yourself however you want." She looked at him through her lashes, which sent a shiver down his spine. And maybe somewhere else.

Jeongin cleared his throat a bit, nodding absentmindedly.

"You didn't eat any?" He asks, suddenly realizing she's been feeding him the whole time without taking a single bite.

She tilted her head to the side slightly, shaking her head.

"Nope. But this big strawberry looks really delicious, if you want we can share it." She smiled, seemingly innocently. The boy nodded eagerly, so concentrated on wanting to share his cake that his mind didn't go where hers went.

"Alright, open up" he parted his lips, waiting for her to once again feed him the food.

And so she did, but this time she picked up the whole strawberry with two fingers, barely grazing his lips and chin with the tips as he held the fruit with his front teeth.

Suddenly, he started to catch up. His own fingers gripped the soft sheets slightly, eagerly waiting for her next move.

"I'm going to take a bite..." She stated, lowly, almost whispering, as she slowly leaned forward. Her eyes were looking at his lips, while his were looking at hers.

Then, she parted her mouth enough to bite in half the fruit, at the same time delicately touching Jeongin's pink lips. The movement was extremely delicate, and not too fast, but for him it was. He was already craving for more touch, almost in a daze.

Diamond leaned back nonchalantly, chewing the bite, but her gaze never left Jeongin's dark eyes. After a couple of seconds, she swallowed, licking her lips instinctively.

"Mhm. So delicious." The nonchalant tone mixed with the obvious intent was probably what made the boy lose his mind. So much so, that he reached out his pointer finger, picking up some whipped cream from the plate, then slowly raising it up.

"The cream is sweet too" his voice was deeper now as well. The older girl smirked a bit, parting her lips slightly.

Jeongin took it as permission, so he brought his finger to her full lips, which she wrapped around up to the first knuckle. Very delicately sucking, then licking the cream, cleaning the younger's finger.

She hummed in appreciation, letting his finger go. She decided to step it a bit further, noticing the young man was starting to get excited.

"It is indeed" she scooted closer on the bed, raising her hand and slowly sliding it up from his, still clothed, bicep to his shoulder.

"You have some on your face" she commented. Which was actually true, but it was a very tiny dot near his bottom lip. Which was more than enough.

"Can I clean it up?" The guy, which at this point was barely even blinking, nodded, gulping.

"Yes, please"

She didn't wait any longer, cupping his right cheek and getting closer to his face, then slowing down just enough to get out the tip of her tongue, picking up the tiny spot of whipped cream.

As soon as Jeongin felt her wet tongue graze his lips, he parted his own, effectively starting a proper kiss.

One of his hands cupped her cheek, while the other landed on her hip, grabbing the silk dress slightly.

At that point the make out continued, including tongue, soft lip pulling and biting, until he instinctively pulled her closer, hinting at the fact that he wanted her to straddle him.

She got it right away and complied, straddling his sitting figure, but not quite getting comfortable on him right away. Instead, as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hips started to rock back and forth sensually, giving Jeongin's growing crotch enough contact to turn him on but not enough to actually hump his jeans.

The young man started to pant in between kisses, fully aware of the newly added sensation, and enjoying every second of it. His hands both grabbed at her hips a bit more forcefully, following her movements, while his mouth started to travel back and forth between her neck, jaw, collarbone area, then slowly more and more down, almost on her breasts.

She sighed pleasurably, giving him a kiss on the head before gently stopping him. Jeongin, with his ginger hair already a bit messy, his cheeks flushed and eyes glossy, looked up at her with some confusion.

"Let's get you more comfortable, baby" her voice a bit hoarse from the excitement. He nodded absentmindedly as he raised both arms up, allowing the girl to slide off his hoodie.

"Can I get this off too?" She asked gently, referring to the tank top. He nodded again, clearing his throat, waking up a bit from his daze and deciding to help her.

He ended up taking the tank top off himself, while she unbuttoned his heavy baggy jeans, getting off of his lap to take them off.

She left them to the side, and before she knew it, he was also sliding her spaghetti straps off her shoulders, immediately making the silk dress pool at her feet.

His hands rested on her waist as he took in her body, still barely covered by a lace set of white lingerie. His eyes lingered on her legs, thighs, chest

He was brought back to reality when the girl's hand rested on his cheek again. He looked up, blinking a few times.

"You're beautiful" he complimented her, in awe. She smiled a bit, gently pushing him back more to the top of the bed.

"You look great too" she crawled back up on the bed, stopping to his side.

"What would you like to do?" she asked, caressing his hip and lower belly, making both his cock and stomach twitch slightly.

"I..." he looked to the side, getting too shy to speak his wish out loud. The girl nodded in understanding, with a smirk.

"When you're ready just tell me what you want to do, okay? In the meantime, trust me" he swallowed, trying to get his throat a bit wet, nodding.

The girl gently grabbed his boxers, sliding them down his toned legs and throwing them on top of his pants. His cock sprung free, fully hard, slightly hovering above his lower belly.

She scooted further on the bed so she could lower a bit more near his crotch.

Deciding to have mercy on the boy, she let some spit pool in her right palm, then taking Jeongin's cock, stroking him up and down, not too fast.

As soon as she touched him his whole body spasmed involuntarily, and he moaned. At the first lick along the side of his shaft, she noticed him squinting his eyes shut, breathing out deeply.

"Don't hold back" she said, capturing his attention immediately, "You're not hiding in your room. I promise your partner will enjoy hearing you very much"

The poor guy didn't even have a chance to reply, because she got immediately back to work, taking his cock on her mouth. She went down a bit more every time, from the tip, then to more than halfway.

His cock was pretty pale, like the rest of his skin, with a couple of not too prominent veins blending in, it was medium in thickness, but oh my gosh was it longer than average. Not a whole monster, but definitely a bit above average.

"Fuck" he groaned, still struggling to fully let himself go, biting his bottom lip and frowning. The girl noticed his left hand firmly gripping the sheets, while the other one seemed to kind of twitch and be restless.

"You can touch me" she half moaned, taking a small break from the mouth work. He looked down at her, frowning.

"W-what?" He panted. The girl reached out, taking his nearest hand and bringing it to her head.

"You can touch. You can do whatever you want as long as you're gentle. If you want to get rougher, ask consent" she explained, her hand still stroking him.

Jeongin was having a bit of a hard time focusing on two things at once, listening to her and not cumming embarrassingly fast, but he did understand what she meant.

She was trying to encourage him to let himself go, but it just wouldn't come natural to him, even though he was definitely enjoying himself. It was true.

He was used to shut himself up and be as quiet as possible getting off, since he didn't live alone. And even when he was alone, he'd still find himself double checking that the door was locked before getting down to business.

"I want to eat you out" he blurted out, surprising the older girl who kind of stopped her movements to check in what he said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah" he nodded, propping himself up with his elbows.

"Don't you want to come first?" She double checked. He shook his head.

"Not right away. Please?" The girl chuckled, gently releasing his, still hard and leaking, cock.

"You decide. How do you want me?" Between the sultry teasing tone and the way she leaned back, essentially offering herself, Jeongin thought he could've came right then and there without being touched.

He moved, getting on his knees on the bed, and reaching out to pick on the bra straps.

"I need to see you so bad" he whispered. The girl nodded, unclasping the bra from behind her back and then throwing it on the growing pile of clothes on the ground.

The boy unintentionally released a deep sigh, which made the girl smile, but she made sure to not laugh at him. Instead, she brought his big but slender hands to her breasts, which he cupped instantly.

Then she decided to give him some more time, occupying her hands and mouth by caressing him and leaving kisses on his neck and chest, a few on his mouth.

The boy was groping her breasts, toying with her hard nipples with his fingers in the meantime.

"On your back" he managed to choke out, his chest going up and down from laboured breathing.

"Mmh, alright pretty boy" she said in between kisses, which made Jeongin breathe out a small chuckle.

The girl moved, getting on her back with her head on the pillow, as he asked. She bent her knees, spreading her legs as he positioned himself in between them.

He then realized he was too high up, shifting back and on his belly, right in front of her crotch.

"Can I?" He asked, picking at the sides of her lace panties. She smirked, nodding.

Jeongin slid the panties off, setting them to the side, not being able to get his eyes away from her glistening pussy. He felt like a feral animal, cock painfully hard and twitching against the bed, but at the same time, he froze.

The girl propped herself up with her elbows, looking down between her legs at the younger boy.

"What's wrong?"

He hesitated, looking down to the side, realizing he was staring, and also from embrassement.

"How..h-how do I.." he stuttered. The girl blinked a couple of times.

"Don't tell you've never watched porn?" There was no judgement in her voice, just genuine questioning. He half nodded and half shook his head, confusing himself at this point.

"Yes of course I do.. I'm not a saint, okay? I just- I don't really know how to start I guess" he admitted. She let out a small breathy laugh, reaching out her hand to cup his cheek.

"Ah I see. Don't worry, alright? Let's go slow" she reassured him, which actually did work.

"You can start by building up to it. Kiss around the pubic area, the thighs, legs, belly, whatever. Then you can use your hands, both to caress and touch directly on it." She explained gently.

"Don't be rough. Like don't just start inserting fingers out of nowhere or rub it like some sort of dough, okay?" He laughed a bit at the examples, but nodded, both in agreement and to build up some courage.

"The main goal here is to get the vagina wet so when you touch it it doesn't hurt. Just like I did with you before. Don't worry about the rest, I'm going to tell you as you go" she added, and Jeongin nodded again, starting to put his hands to work by caressing her legs and thighs.

"Okay, good boy" she said nonchalantly, as if she said 'hello', but they way his ears got red and his cock jumped quite literally said the opposite.

Regardless, he tried to remain focused, and started to pepper the girl's lower body with wet kisses and licks. She brought a hand up to her breast, starting to play with herself as she moaned softly.

Jeongin's ego boosted at that, as he tried to remember a few of the couple porn he watched. He decided to slowly start licking directly on her pussy, which actually made her gasp out of surprise.

His gaze shoot up, to check if he was okay to continue, and by the way she had her eyes closed and mouth parted, he took it as a yes.

The boy delighted in her taste, so new but so intoxicating at the same time. He used his tongue flat, up and down, slowly from her clit to her entrance, which was becoming wetter by the second.

As a sweet background there were the older girl's sighs and moans. Yeah, he thought, she definitely had a point when she said that his partner would be enjoying the noises. He sure as fuck was.

That's what actually gave him the confidence to start touching her with his fingers. He started to gently rub his finger and middle fingers around her pussy, getting them wet as he kept sucking and licking her. She moaned a bit louder, suddenly opening her eyes and looking down.

"Here" she breathed, reaching out her own hand and placing his fingers on her clit, guiding the circling motion until he did it by himself. Her back arched slightly, as her fingers intertwined with his reddish hair.

"Yes, just like that" she sighed, "Touch yourself, baby"

He shook his head slightly, unintentionally, actually causing her to choke out a moan and make her grip on his hair tighter. She looked down.

"Why not?"

"Don't wanna come now" he mumbled in between licks. He was enjoying himself a bit too much, like a kid with a pacifier or a desert. Hilarious how in the span of two hours he became a pussy addict.

"Yes, come now. Trust me. There's- ah," she arched her back interrupting herself with a gasp of pleasure, "There's time. Listen to me."

He looked up at her, keeping his hands attached to her pussy. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes glossy and an almost invisible layer of sweat covered her forehead.

After that masterpiece of a view, cumming was not going to be hard for Jeongin, which slid his free hand under his body, reaching his cock and stroking it fast.

"Yeah, just like that, good" she moaned, "Fuck- oh, yes, keep touching my clit a bit faster, you're doing amazing" her voice a bit high, just like the high she was about to reach.

"You gonna cum?" He slurred as he upped both his fingers and tongue's pace. The dirty talk must've had an effect on her too, because she released a loud moan, arching her back and pushing Jeongin's face even further to her pussy.

"Fuck- fuck- yes" She cried out. At that exact moment Jeongin felt some wetness hit his chin, so he knew she came. He just made a woman come for the first time in his life. Damn.

Which, surprise to none, made him cum in return. The boy stiffened up a bit, groaning into the woman's pussy which made her squeal and jump back a bit, as she was too sensitive now.

Jeongin gave the last few, harsh, strokes to his cock, to ride his own high. He was taking deep breaths, trying to ground himself, but for some reason he struggled to keep his eyes open.

He forgot about Diamond for a second, until she sat up near him, her hands on his face, and a gentle expression on her face.

"Hey, pretty boy, are you alright?" She asked softly. His eyes blinked in a messy way, almost like he was passing out. He used one of her palms as a pillow and then closed his eyes completely.

-

Jeongin woke up on the bed, a pillow under his head and a heavy duvet covering him. He was exactly where he last remembers, on the left bottom side of the bed.

Did he actually fell asleep after having an orgasm? Oh God..what a fucking loser. But wait, where was-

And before he could ask himself the question, he saw her standing in front of the window, an equally heavy duvet around her shoulders, as she sipped some water.

"Hey, what happened?" as soon as she heard Jeongin's voice, the girl turned her head. She offered him a sweet smile.

"You passed out for some time. Not long, about twenty minutes. Did you have a long day today?" She asked sweetly as she walked back to the bed, sitting next to him.

"Yeah, actually" he woke up early, had practice, did the live, then went out again. And then he ended up here. And he came so fucking hard, too. How to forget. Actually-

"I'm sorry that I kinda fucked up at the end, I was out of if" he apologized. The girl shook her head, gently getting a few strands of hair out of his face.

"You didn't ruin anything. You made me cum. Making a woman cum on your first time is pretty impressive, you know." She nudged his shoulder with hers. He smiled shyly.

"You still sleepy?" He shook his head.

"I don't think so. I didn't need to sleep, I was probably letting some stress go." She nodded.

"I'm glad you did." She paused, "What do you want to do now?"

He thought about it for a second, leaning his head on her shoulder.

"I definitely want to finish what we started. You down?" She chuckled softly, leaning her own head on his.

"Sure" they looked at each other for a while, until he kissed her. More softly than before, as they needed to start building up again.

This time around Jeongin felt more confident in his actions, so he took another initiative. He slid the duvet down her shoulder, and she let her grip on it go too, so it fell on the ground and she was naked again.

At the same time he freed himself from his own, joining her in her nakedness. They started to properly get back on the bed, kissing, toying with their tongues, and making out. This time Jeongin guided her directly to lay on her back, head against the pillow.

He didn't immediately get in between her legs, instead he took his time licking, sucking and grazing her soft breasts with his teeth. She sighed softly, both hands in his hair as she enjoyed the attention.

Jeongin's cock, which was slowly getting hard again, was rubbing on the outside of her thigh. She took the hint and licked her palm before starting to stroke his shaft, sometimes grazing his tip with her thumb, which made him shiver every time.

Almost at the same time, Jeongin reached his own hand in between her legs, starting to circle her clit like she had taught him before. The girl whined, opening her legs to allow him more access.

They went on like that for a while, until he was fully hard and she was dripping wet.

"Put one, the two fingers inside" she whispered to his ear, "Get me ready for you" her teeth grazed his lobe, which made his cock twitch in her hand. She smiled at the reaction, continuing to lick and kiss his shoulders and collarbones.

It was so intimate, so arousing, that they didn't feel the need to rush anything. It was dazing.

The girl gasped softly when Jeongin put the first finger inside, pumping it in and out slowly, sometimes twisting it, touching around her insides to try and find her g spot. And at a squeeze of his cock in her hand, he knew he found it. He choked on a moan himself, laughing a bit.

"Alright, I think we're ready" he said with a hint of humor. She chuckled, nodding.

"Let me just-" she gently released his erect cock and stretched to get to the bedside table's small drawer, where she fished out a small bottle of lube and two condoms.

"Do you know how to put it on or do you want me to help?" She asked kindly.

"I'd prefer some help, please. I don't want to fuck up." He admitted. She nodded and asked him to sit back on his feet. She kneeled in front of him, opening the package with her fingers, pulling it out.

"Alright, hold yourself up for me" he took his cock in one hand, as she asked. Then she placed the condom on the tip, carefully sliding it down his shaft.

"Now I'm going to get ready on my back. I am wet enough now, but just as a demonstration, I'm gonna put a few drops of water based lube on me so everything can go smoothly." She explained as she positioned herself, squirting a few drops of lube on her fingers and then spreading it around a bit.

Jeongin was watching everything, to learn. And also because her pussy aroused him, and couldn't wait to get inside her, okay? Oh God, he prayed he would last more than two seconds.

"C'mere" she invited him between her legs. The young man positioned himself, lining his length with her wet hole. Then quickly looked back to her.

"You can go. Gently, remember." She smiled sweetly at him, and he reciprocated. Then his focus shifted back down, he grabbed himself and slowly entered her.

They both sighed, and she reached out to take his hand, intertwining it with hers. Jeongin bottomed out and stood still for a minute, squinting his eyes and trying not to cum right away.

Condom or no condom, pussy feels amazing. The texture, the slickness, the warmth. He needed to calm down.

"Start moving slowly, baby" she encouraged, "Back and forth, don't completely pull out or get all the way in. Okay?" He nodded, his head hunched down to look at where their bodies connected.

He started to move as he was told, and it felt good, but he knew that if he went faster, it would feel even better. That's why she told him to start slow.

He huffed, as his hips rocked back and forth, his abs contracted. Jeongin started to play around a bit. Firstly by pulling out almost completely and then slamming back all the way in, feeling her cervix.

She moaned, then gasped and tightened her legs around his body.

Then he reprised his old movement, but with a faster pace. She suddenly loosened their fingers and placed his palm flat on her lower belly, just above the pubic bone.

"Add some pressure here" her breathy voice turning him on. He actually felt like he was coming closer to his orgasm, so he wanted to do everything he could do bring her with him.

He did as he was told, and in addition sped up a bit, reaching a slightly deeper point inside her.

"Touch yourself" this time it was his turn to say it to her. Her dazed expression seemed positively surprised, so, smirking, she brought her fingers to her clit.

Not too much later both started to pant and whine in a messy manner, getting closer to their high.

"I- I'm close ho- how, mmh fuck, how about you?" Jeongin struggled to talk coherently.

"Y-yes, keep going, baby, let go" she encouraged him, and with that and a few harsher thrusts he came inside her. Safely thanks to the condom.

He kept going, gradually slower so he could ride out his orgasm and he could still try to get her to get hers.

He bowed down, attaching his lips to her nipples to add even more stimulation, and that's what got her.

The older girl gasped, then moaned and kept touching herself slowly to properly ride out her orgasm. After a while though she pushed Jeongin's abs because it had gotten sensitive. He got the hint and leaned back on the bed, sliding outside of her.

They both stood still, breathing heavily, for a couple of minutes. The first to move was Diamond, which simply got off the bed, reaching out to safely take off the condom and throw it away.

Then she went into the bathroom, coming out already wearing a bathrobe, and bringing one for him as well.

"Thank you" he said, even more tired than before. But also hungry.

"I don't know if I want to sleep or eat more" he joked. She gave him a half smile.

"Whichever it will be, it can't be here" she broke the news to him as gently as possible.

Jeongin was taken aback for a second, until he remembered the situation he was actually in. She was paid to do this, not to sleep and cuddle. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he understood.

"Of course" he stood up from the bed, wrapped around in his bathrobe.

"Should I redress myself-" he started, but she interrupted him.

"No, no. There is another private room booked for you, to rest and freshen up. It's written on the card. You can relax, take a bath and order some food. Even at three am." She smiled a bit, "Don't worry about the clothes. I will personally make sure that they're delivered fresh to your doorstep tomorrow morning."

Jeongin nodded, not really looking at her. He felt so stupid and childish for feeling like this but he kinda couldn't help it.

He spent some intimate time with someone and now he had to leave them, pretty normal no?

If anything now he fully understands the emotional package that comes with exposing yourself with someone else. It will serve him in the future, he knows it.

He walked towards the door, with on his bathrobe and hotel slippers, and his silver card. His room was on the same floor as Chan.

"Well, again happy birthday. I hope the experience was nice. I had a nice time too, so thank you." She smiled politely. He nodded, trying to get a grip and not look like a kicked puppy.

"Yes, yes, absolutely. Thank you for having patience with me." He wanted to fucking bad to end it there, he was screaming in his head 'shut the fuck up Jeongin', and instead he added "Maybe I could come back sometime."

The girl's gaze softened, a hint of pity in her eyes. She reached out a hand and cupped his cheek.

"I hope not, Foxie. I hope that as soon as you walk out of here you find a beautiful, sweet girl that will give you this out of love, like you deserve." Her smile was comforting. He nodded, feeling a bit like a kid.

"But..." He looked up again at the word, "If between a busy day and the other you still don't find someone else, and you need to let off some steam..then why not." She winked. He smiled, bowed his head to her in respect and then wished her goodnight as he exited the room.

As soon as she closed the door behind him, she relaxed her face, and huffed, pretty tired after the whole ordeal. She started a warm bath, and picked up her phone from the safe to bring it with her.

- to : Xs <3

3.24 am - Your little one has just gone up

The answer came back almost immediately.

- from : Xs <3

3.25 am - he just texted me lol

3.25 am - you definitely left an impression

3.26 am - not that I had any doubts ~

3.26 am - wyd

She smirked, writing back

- to : Xs <3

3.27 am - Was just about to relax in the tub then sleep

3.28 am - Wanna join? ~

Before she could even put down the phone, it ding'ed back.

- from : Xs <3

3.28 am - Omw down ;)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

N/A: Xs = Chris

Oop.. Little plot twist? Anyway, this was a long one hope you enjoyed!

[finyx7733]

06/05/24

Affirmations: I am worthy of love I am capable of great things I am not a burden I am made of stardust and magick

So I woke up today with a lot of anxiety, I'm restless and I feel an overwhelming sense of dread, my limbs feel as if they are filled with sand, they are heavy and weighted down. All I want to do is cry or scream. Maybe break something, but I know that isn't going to help make me feel any better. I'm going to try and turn it around, and do things today that spark joy and make me feel productive. My therapist V gave me some journaling prompts to help me when I am feeling like this, one of them is called P.I.E.S. I think I will follow the prompt and see if it helps.

How do I feel physically today? Physically I feel drained, I didn't fall asleep until 2:30-3:00am and I woke up super early, so I am exhausted. My limbs feel as if they are weighted down and I am having trouble concentrating. My mind is racing and I can't seem to keep my thoughts straight. I know it's part of my mania but that doesn't make it any easier to overcome. I am hyper-fixating on the stupidest of things and I can't seem to focus on anything for a long period of time. It's just frustrating.

Am I intellectually stimulated? Today I am going to try and do some research on different things, I want to learn more about my BPD and Paganism. I think that will stimulate my brain and maybe help me focus some of this energy.

How do I feel emotionally today? Emotionally I am feeling good. My mood is really high and even though I feel anxious I'm in good spirits. I do feel a bit restless but I think I just need to do something physical, maybe go for a walk or clean something to get out this energy.

How do I feel spiritually today? I sat out in nature and just listened to some soft calming music, it made me feel at peace, though it is 105 degrees out today, and after a while, I got too hot to just sit out there so I came inside. I started watching videos about paganism last night, it was really interesting. I'm going to take notes and I will share what I learn.

Today is kind of a slow day, I have a therapy appointment at 1 pm which I'm a little anxious about, I don't know why V is really nice but I've only met with her one time and I'm afraid we are going to go into some heavy stuff and I don't know how it's going to affect me. I have been manic for two days now, I think I've had 7 hours of sleep in two days. Last night I didn't go to bed until 4 am and I was awake at 7:30 am because the dogs had to go out and they were barking. I'm not tired though nor am I grumpy so I will take the win. I'm hoping I will be able to sleep tonight but I suppose only time will tell.

Mimi had to go to work today, she is working at a Dude Ranch in the kitchen and she absolutely loves it. She says the staff are amazing and her boss is just lovely. I'm glad she found a place to work that brings her joy, she is such a kind and caring person she deserves some happiness in her life.

Before she got this job we would do the household chores together, we would pick one day out of the week and just get shit done, but now that she is working I don't think its fair for her to have to clean the house on her days off and since I'm not working I decided that I would surprise her and do all the chores myself. Trying to get them all done in one day alone was difficult, so I made a list of chores and broke them down. To keep myself from getting overwhelmed I picked one chore and assigned it to a day of the week. So while she is at work, I can do something productive and help out around the house.

Mind you there are some things I do daily, like the dishes, feeding the dogs, make my bed and declutter our living space. Here is what my chore list looks like in case anyone was wondering. Sunday: Bathroom. (toilet, sink, mirrors, floors, and trash) Monday: nothing. Tuesday: Laundry (wash and dry, put away) Wednesday: Bedroom (trash, vacuum, wipe down surfaces) Thursday: Closet (declutter, vacuum) Friday: nothing Saturday: nothing

I had my appointment with V and everything went really well. She listened to the goals that I've created to make sure they were reasonable goals and then she suggested I tried yoga. She said it is all about breathing and being intuned with your body. So I'm going to give it a try and see if it is something that piques my interest. I have several walking videos I have saved, so I am thinking maybe I'll do yoga 4 days out of the week and the walking videos the other 3 days out of the week. That way I move my body everyday, this will help me to lose weight. Mimi will be home soon and then we will probably start dinner, I'm not really sure what we are having tonight but whatever it is will be great. Mimi is a really good cook. I have some videos I want to watch so I think I'm going to go take the dogs out and do a little research. Ta for now.

[blahandwhatever]

...And it's winter.

Just yesterday, I was still dying from heat and humidity in here. Took my coconut oil out of the fridge, and it fully remelted.

Today it was time for a winter coat. I went for a walk in Buffalo Grove, already halfway bare and brown, and felt refreshed in a way that I didn't quite feel after any of my recent excursions. I guess there's a balance to be had with adequate rest and relaxation.

Before the fall fully set in for its measly couple of weeks, I once again went to the botanic garden on a free day. Then I made a failed attempt to attend a study at Mars Wrigley in Chicago - had never been there before, greatly underestimated the length of the trip due to trusting the very different time estimate an hour before I actually had to leave, got stuck in terrible miserable Chicago rush hour traffic (RIP people who do this every day), missed the study, desperately needed air for my tires and could only find shitty low-tech air pumps (which took an eternity to drive a few blocks to), and stopped by the Goose Island Overlook for a modest little slice of nature in the city (I'd heard of Goose Island years ago when I went for a haircut in Wicker Park - like, as a nice place worth visiting? and frankly I'd imagined something very different).

The next week, I set off on another long and treacherous highway journey to revisit this park in Worth and finally see it with the waterfalls flowing. Was it worth it? ...Sort of. I would not go out of my way again to drive there specifically, but it's worth visiting if you're in the area. I was also annoyed with myself for not having left earlier, for both traffic and enjoyment's sake - it was still decent enough when I got there, but I could've seen more sights on the drive back (mostly off-highway on my old route to Naperville), which wound up being mostly in the dark.

Another day I went to Schaumburg, and another day, just by the lake here.

Last Saturday, I was supposed to visit Graceland Cemetery in Chicago for the first time. It was a comfortable (I thought) but cloudy day - well-suited, I thought, for the destination. I got ready, got in my car, searched up the directions, and learned the place closed at 4 PM, right around when I'd be arriving. Hadn't bothered to check before, as I was under the impression that cemeteries were a 24/7 deal. So, I changed plans and went to Glenview instead and, unlike last year, was not disappointed by the views I found. I was, however, very chilly - I swear the feel of 50s-60s temperatures, and how to dress for them, is sooo all over the place depending on the wind and sun - which ultimately made me glad I hadn't gone on the longer walk I'd planned.

Sunday I went to Wilmette. Hadn't been back since my botched attempt a few summers ago. This one turned out much better: less traffic, fewer people, plenty of parking. I walked on a beach for the first time in forever, saw some gorgeous trees, and circled around the always-dazzling Baháʼí temple.

Monday I tried the cemetery again. It was the most challenging trip in that I had to get up and get ready early enough to leave around 1 PM so I could get there by 2 and have a couple of hours. I put in some work toward this end the night before with a nighttime shower and early bedtime at the expense of a full-length day and chores. The drive was as okay as I could expect, but at the end, there were complications. At first I just drove straight into the cemetery, and then I'm like, wait, is this allowed? I searched online and found that no parking was allowed inside the cemetery except under special circumstances. There was a little parking lot inside near the entrance, but I didn't want to risk it, so I went out into the streets and dealt with the nightmare of city parking, puzzling out confusing signs, briefly encountering dozens of false hopes, finally settling for a paid spot a bit of a way off, still not 100% sure it was legit despite all signs pointing to it being so just because it felt too good to be true in light of all the other fully packed (or disallowed) streets I'd been through. I double-checked carefully and used the last $5 in my bank account to pay the fee, and then I walked to the cemetery, and by this point I'd killed enough time that I worried I might not have enough, but thankfully there were fairly quick walking directions from the entrance to the Palmer monument, the main attraction I wanted to see, and I got plenty of time admiring that from every which angle, and a bit of time to walk around and look at other things too. Worth revisiting in other seasons (and, again, cloudy weather, which didn't happen this time) and with more time to roam.

Tuesday I thought I'd stop by Lake Zurich before going to Whole Foods, but it didn't really work out due to me leaving the house late and it being cloudy (which wasn't good in this case).

At this point, I'm taking it easy and staying close to home. None of these were really fall-specific destinations (though it's nice to have seen them that way at least once), they were just places I hadn't gotten around to visiting and felt the need to squeeze in while things were still nice. In the future, I'll probably spread them out more and keep most of my fall color quests closer to home.

Back when I had money, I was planning to take the Amtrak trip from Chicago to San Francisco this fall. And I was so sure I would finally revisit Ann Arbor this year!

But I can't say I'm feeling anything missing.

[dreamescapeswriting]

The Coordinates Of My Heart ~ JJK [Request]

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

GENRE: Angst, fluffy ending, established relationship

PAIRING: Jungkook x fem!reader

It was no secret that Jungkook had tattoos all over his body, everyone had seen them by now but not every single tattoo that covered him. There was one very secret tattoo that nobody except for you and Jungkook knew about...Well, you, Jungkook and his ex-girlfriend that was. It was only a small tattoo on his left peck but it was one of the biggest mistakes Jungkook had ever made in his life, the whole time he was getting his collection of tattoos he swore he would never have someone's name tattooed onto his body and yet there it sat. Black ink across his peck with her name in cursive writing with a small heart attached at the end, "SeoJun" The tattoo bothered you a lot but you would never let that show in front of Jungkook. You'd been dating for almost three years now so you never brought it up except for the first time he showed you. He wanted you to know that she meant nothing to him anymore but that it was there and something he had to deal with. 

It was still a crushing feeling to see another girls name tattooed on his body and him always saying that he would never do it again, never tattoo a name across him anywhere on his body. You knew he was thinking rationally but there was a part of you inside that cried out to know why he wouldn't put your name on himself instead but the other part of you thought rationally. He probably didn't want to chance it by getting your name tattooed anywhere on himself and having the relationship fall through. 

"Baby I'm so tired," Jungkook groaned that morning as he walked down the stairs to you in the living room he was shirtless and wearing a pair of shorts, you were trying to convince him to go swimming with you. It was his week off from the studio, he took it off to spend time with you but for the last six days he'd done nothing but lay in bed gaming or go out to dinner with his friends, or hang out with the boys. 

"I'm only asking for this one thing baby...Please! I don't want to go alone." You giggled to him as you tugged on his hands trying to convince him to go with you, he looked at you tiredly as he shook his head.

"I'm busy today," He mumbled as he took his arm out of your grasp, ignoring the look of confusion written across your face as he walked into the kitchen. Jungkook hadn't told you he'd made plans with anyone which was why you'd woken him up in the first place if you'd have known he was busy you would have left him. Following after him, you went into the kitchen and he began to make himself something to eat,

"Busy with what? We haven't hung out all week, you said you took the week off to spend time with me." You uttered you knew it probably sounded as though you were being childish but right now you didn't care, you'd missed your boyfriend and this week it felt like you saw him less than you did when he was actually working. 

"I actually said I took the week off to relax, so far I haven't done any of that." He grumbled as he began pouring himself a bowl of cereal, not meeting your eyes as he spoke. Rolling your eyes at him you shook your head, 

"You've relaxed plenty, all you've done is game and sleep...As well as go to lunch, or spent time with friends...W-What if we went for walk instead? Namjoon said he found this really cute hiking trail..." You trailed off when you realised Jungkook was more interested in the phone that was sitting in his hand than he was in listening to you talk to him. The thought of him ignoring you was heartbreaking enough, you began to overthink everything, maybe he was getting bored of being with you...

"But of course, I wouldn't want to take you away from what is really important." You grumbled to him referring to the phone before storming out of the kitchen and into the living room to grab your swimming bag to go alone since he wasn't that bothered about you anymore.

"Are you upset because I won't hang out with you?! We don't have to be around each other 24/7 Y/n." He followed you into the living room staring into your eyes as he waited for you to say something back to him. He didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as the way it was.

"No, but it would be nice if my own boyfriend wanted to do something with me. Watch a movie, go for a walk, order food. All you've been bothered about is gaming or hanging with the guys, we haven't done anything this week." He rolled his eyes at you before going back into the kitchen without another word in your direction. You knew it wasn't supposed to start a fight but there was a part inside of you that wanted answers from him. 

"Tell me I'm wrong then. Tell me one time this week you've even wanted or offered to hang out with me." You stated as you walked back into the kitchen, he put his bowl down into the sink shaking his head at you. 

"I've been busy. I'm doing stuff all week, I don't need you jumping down my neck-" He stopped talking when his phone began to ring on the table in front of him for a second you could have sworn a panicked look spread across his face. Out of habit your eyes glanced down to see who it was but as soon as you saw the name you wish you hadn't. SEOJUN. Was written across the screen in big bold writing with a broken heart beside her name just like the tattoo Jungkook had only the heart was broken. 

"W-Why is she calling you?" Instead of answering you Jungkook just turned the phone over so you couldn't see it and shook his head at the question. 

"Jungkook..." You whispered feeling insecure at the thought of him starting to see her again, it wasn't that you didn't trust him. It was Seojun that you didn't trust. She was manipulative and cunning. She always got whatever it was she wanted if she used the right way on Jungkook it was like she had a spell on him.

"Y/n it's not what it looks like, she's just started to say sorry to me that's all. She wants to make up for all the awful things that happened, she opened up her new shop so I've been going to help-" The look on your face made Jungkook stop talking instantly and he knew he fucked up, it was a look of sadness and anger as you realised he'd been spending all of his time with her. 

"S-So you've been spending time with her? On your week off..." He nodded his head slowly not wanting to lie to you about where he had been anymore, 

"Because I knew if I told you, you would be upset-" He tried to rationalise it but you cut him off,

"Of course I would! You've been spending all of your free time with your ex-girlfriend and lying to me about it!" You yelled out as you stared down at his phone, it was starting to ring again but you both ignored it this time letting it go to voicemail.

"I was just helping out with her shop, she's straightened herself out." You scoffed at the thought of it all and the phone began to ring again, it was clear she wasn't going to quit calling him until he finally answered her call. 

"So she's trying to get back with you?" You questioned as you stared at him folding your arms over your chest,

"No! She's trying to say sorry..." You rolled your eyes at the statement, at how naive he was being about all of it and began walking away from him not wanting to listen to this.

"Am I not allowed, friends?!" He snapped at you making you turn to face him you were angrier now at the fact that he was making it seem like you were forcing him not to talk to her, 

"You can be friends with whoever you want...B-But didn't you think about how this would make me feel? Seeing her again? When she's literally tattooed across your chest?!" He heard the crack in your voice as you stormed out of the door, leaving him alone in the world of his own thoughts. He knew how much the tattoo hurt you even if you refused to show him that sometimes, he groaned picking up his phone to her. 

"I'll be running late today, come by about 2 pm? The place will be empty and it'll be just me and you, like old times." He sighed as he heard her voice down the other side of the phone, 

"We should stop, she's suspicious..." He whispered to Seojun as he walked out of the kitchen and towards the front door, you were sitting in the car so he walked up the stairs to talk. 

You whimpered as you got into your car, starting up the engine and driving off towards the pool. You didn't even need to go, you just had to be out of the house for a while to let your brain cool down from what was happening, you were probably just overreacting to it all. 

When you came in after swimming the house was empty, all of the lights were off so you knew Jungkook must have been out or up in bed asleep but it was only 7 pm so that was unlikely true. You dropped your keys down in the small bowl by the front door and kicked off your shoes wanting nothing more than to snuggle up beside Jungkook and say sorry for that morning but he wasn't there so you went for the next best thing. Having a shower and curling up in one of his shirts while you waited for him to come home, you'd left him some texts but if he was still upset about this morning you doubted he would answer you. 

As you walked into the kitchen you saw a note on the door, 

Went out to think. Don't wait up. Love you. x x x JJK x x x You smiled halfheartedly as you read the note from him to you and screwed it up before putting it into the bin. All you had to do was remind yourself that Jungkook loved you, he would never do anything to hurt you.

Later that night Jungkook pulled up outside the house and saw your car, 

"I'll call you later, Y/n's home so I'm going to talk to her if she's awake," Jungkook said to Seojun who hummed before hanging upon him. He shut the door carefully and headed up to the front door, it was almost 12 pm so you were most likely asleep in bed but when he walked into the living room you were out cold on the sofa. Draped in one of his jumpers and a pair of shorts with a blanket around you, the TV was playing to itself all of their Bangtan bombs and he smiled to himself. At least you weren't too angry at him to fall asleep to his voice, he turned off the TV and headed into the kitchen. 

A small hissing noise made you wake up when you heard small grunts of pain, 

"Guk?" You moaned out as you rubbed your eyes, the kitchen light was on and the moaning was coming from there. Terror ripped through you at the thought of him and someone else being in there together but Jungkook would never do that...Would he? Slowly sliding off the sofa you tip-toed into the kitchen to see Jungkook with his back to you, he was hissing as he pulled something off his chest, 

"Kookie? What's going on?" Jungkook jumped as your voice suddenly filled the air, he turned to face you and you saw what he was struggling to do. There was fresh clingfilm wrapped around his chest along with some pads, 

"Jungkook?" You frowned walking further into the kitchen as you helped him take off the cling film, 

"I did something." He mumbled as he took your hands into his own to stop you from removing the rest of it all, 

"We have to talk..." You stared into his eyes waiting for him to continue and he looked down, 

"I know how much the tattooed bothered you without you saying anything...That's the reason I've been seeing Seojun so much, she runs her own tattoo parlour instead of working for other people now..." You remembered him telling you once that she worked as a tattooist in someone else's shop, 

"S-So you went to her to get a tattoo done? Why didn't you tell me?" He let go of your wrists and allowed you to keep unwrapping the clingfilm until it got to the end and the flower could be seen, 

"Because we were working on something I couldn't tell you about," Sitting on his left peck, covering the entire muscle was a huge tattoo of your birth flower. Tears began to well up in your eyes as you stared at the masterpiece, 

"The best part." He whispered as he took your hand carefully and lead it over to the middle of his chest, written in small black in were some coordinates. 

"Do you know what that is?" You stared at them with a frown on your face shaking your head at him trying to work it out, 

"It's the coordinates of where I first told you that I loved you," You stared at the coordinates before wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and dragging him into a passionate kiss. Tugging him closer to you until he hissed out in pain, 

"S-Sorry, the tattoo is sore." He chuckled as you looked at it again, 

"Where's your cream? I'll apply it and then we can go to bed?" You questioned as he nodded at you, telling you where the cream he used for all his tattoo's was kept and went to sit on the sofa for you. Smiling happily as he waited for you to come back to him.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @rjsmochii​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @bisexualmess007​ @innersooya​ @sw33tnight​ @jin-from-the-block​ @sweeneyblue1​

[canaryatlaw]

okay, well today was fine, though work was kinda stressing me out. I had my alarm set for 8:45, I didn't have court but needed to get some messages fired off first thing. so I did that, then went back to bed for a bit until I had an 11 am reference call for an awesome intern that worked with us last year (I always make sure our very excellent interns know I am more than happy to serve as a reference for them in the future). after that I got up and started working on a few things, some for a case we're taking over tomorrow but mostly for the hearing I have on Friday. Made an instacart order and then had a 2 pm video appointment with my psychiatrist. I'm low key irritated about the psych med situation at the moment, because a few months back we took me off one of the meds I've been on since like 2013 because the levels of one of my other meds were super high in my blood, and they thought that med was causing it. the levels are still high, but less so than they were. the issue now being that I was stable on that med combo basically since 2013 (with a few dips here and there, a notable one in 2017 when they tried to take me off the medication that was high in my blood and it went VERY poorly) and now being off one of them I'm definitely experiencing depression symptoms again, which I really hate. It's mostly just having issues getting out of bed in the morning and just wanting to sleep all the time, but that's like, the hallmark depression symptom for me and was a huge issue for me throughout high school when I missed 40+ days of school for both my junior and senior years of high school (each). and I just like really hate that?? but he doesn't want to put me back on that med, which like I understand his concerns from a medical standpoint, but it's also frustrating because I know it was working for me, and I'd rather just go with that and take the risks rather than play around with different meds and try to find one that works, which is what we're currently doing. but yeah, we decided to try a thyroid hormone (I think?) that can act as a stimulant, but is generally only supposed to be used in the short term, so idk what we'll do after that. I need to get a blood test first to check my current thyroid level, so I may try to sneak out and do that tomorrow if I have time. I then had a hearing prep meeting for that at 3, and it did not quite go as planned. Apparently the statement in the petition was somewhat mistranslated and somewhat suggested there were more witnesses/evidence than there actually was, so overall it's going to end up being a pretty weak case that I'm not at all sure we stand a chance at winning. so that's super frustrating honestly. The meeting itself was also just super long and draining, and we didn't even finish, so we have to pick back up with that tomorrow afternoon. sigh. oh well. we finished up that for the day and I worked on a few other things before logging my hours for the day. made dinner which was good, then basically just chilled for the rest of the evening, took some garbage down and then showered a bit early in an attempt to get more sleep so I'll be less tired. And yeah, got ready for bed and now I'm here, nice and sleepy so I'm going to bed now. Goodnight friends. Hope your Monday didn't suck.

[sarcasticsidecomment]

So its been a really hard day, week, month, basically since midterms. The past two weeks have been the worst. Last week I had play practices until 8 PM most days except I skipped on Wednesday because of a jazz competition where we got back at about 11 or so. Then on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday we had our performances. There were two on Saturday and each performance was about two hours plus another two hours for before and after stuff. In my family we aren't supposed to do homework on Sundays (its a family/church day) so I have to wait until my parents go to bed or sneak stuff down to my room to do homework. This year I'm taking 12 classes two are APs, one was a semester class so now I have a study hall. Five are music so they all sort of fit into the same period and one is a before school church class ever morning at 6:10. Its a 20 minute drive and my family reads scriptures together before my brother and I leave. My dad is a lawyer and also has a bunch of religious responsibilities and is part of a volleyball league so he's almost never home. My mom deals with five kids, her own religious responsibilities and other stuff but she does way less than I do but always seems more stressed and I don't understand. As the parent she's supposed to be calm and understanding and ask about my day. Because of everything last week I was up almost all night Sunday-Saturday but I eventually went to bed in time to get about an hour of sleep. I also tutor two hours a week. I got four hours of sleep the next night and 11 the night after that. Because I'm used to an overall average of less than 6 hours of sleep a night (including weekends) and probably way less than that for just school nights, getting more than about 7 hours of sleep gives me huge headaches. Eleven really really hurt even after ibuprofen. Today at school I only had physics, AP Stats, Spanish, and music. but in the order 1 4 2 3. Our schedule is really weird. Most days we have seven classes and our rotation schedule has 7 days meaning that we never have the same class order more often then once every seven days. I was up until about 12h30 trying to finish a take home physics test that we had all gotten a week ago but I hadn't had time to start yet because I was working on getting caught up from everything I had missed the week before. I decided to take an hour nap because I literally couldn't keep my eyes open and I had only gotten about a forth of the test done. I'll explain more later, but this teacher gives really hard tests. I was crying (which despite all the crap and pressure I'm under I hadn't done since last summer) and I almost self-harmed again so I just decided to take the nap. My alarms didn't go off until 5h30 as usual so I didn't get any more work done. I got some done from the 45 min I have before school starts after I get to the building after my church class but before classes start but I was tutoring so I gave him some busy work a and worked on physics. This class was first starting at 8 so 3 min to the bell I went up. About 15 minutes into class, I learned that most people hadn't finished the test. His tests are usually really hard to show for sure that you have mastered the material which I hadn't because I had been distracted with lack of sleep and the musical. He decided to give the class until the end of the day to pass in the tests (which was very nice, but pretty typical of this teacher). He is really positive but not annoyingly so and not in a naive way either. Just being in the classroom really helped me to calm down and relax a bit, I almost started crying again from relief (my eyes still teared up a bit) but I managed not to. I didn't really get much done and really only figured out that I really didn't know what I was doing but he said that we could come in after school at least until 4 because he was leaving at 4h30. The bell rang and I had jazz. I only play one of the three jazz songs so I did my math during the time I wasn't playing. I ran a meeting for chorale council during lunch (I'm one of the presidents) them went to math, I'd brought in a pie for homework passes two days earlier and it had been in the freezer, it was the class favorite. At his point my phone was dead because it hadn't fully charged last night. I did my Spanish worksheet during math. And quickly wrote down a speech in Spanish about how I was the best candidate for student body president. I'm also really behind in math. Once I got to Spanish, I took my speech and turned it into notes instead. My speech went pretty well. And class was fine. I went to jazz after school and that went okay. Then I went up too Dudley's room. Two of my friends were already there getting help with the test but I think they were done and were just hanging out because Dudley is so amazing and calming. Ryley and Mackenzie (they're both guys by the way) came over and talked for a few minutes while I worked on the test. Apparently I looked really tired because they started telling Dudley about how I got about 4 hours of sleep a night and how I needed to get more sleep and about how much I do. Dudley said I looked exhausted. After they left we talked a bit on and off while I worked on my test. I didn't ask for it but he asked if I wanted an extension until Tuesday, which I accepted. I worked on the test for about an hour and a half until 4-ish. He looked over my test and said that for two of the four questions I had it almost perfect and I had the right idea with the other two. He told me that I looked exhausted, to get some sleep, and to take care of myself. I love my parents and siblings and I know in my head that they love me too but they don't notice when I get an hour of sleep or when I'm upset about an assignment or test, or when I haven't showered in two weeks (yes, I know, it happens sometimes, I forget because I don't have time) they don't ask about my day, or want to do things with me, give me hugs or tough me at all usually, or help me with stuff, or talk to me, or ask about my music, or really anything. Ever day when I leave its the exact same words- Have a good day. They're like roommates that ignore me most of the time. Dudley is just a teacher, but he writes notes on his student's tests when he hands them out praising their individual strengths. He knows who my friends are and what I'm having problems with. He asks how I'm doing and I try to answer honestly because I know he cares and wants to know. Yes he is just a teacher, but he keeps things appropriate and professional while still really helping his students. Family is supposed to help you but I feel like mine holds me back, degrades, ignores me, and neglects me. I don't blame them for overlooking me, it is just a fact. My friends act like siblings should, and I feel like Dudley acts somewhat like a father and Ewing acts somewhat like a grandmother. Then my biological family gets angry when I spend so much time at school. Well that is where I get things done, that is where I feel loved, that is where people pay attention to me, and care about me. Here I just feel like my rent is overdue. They aren't bad people, just distracted.

[canaryatlaw]

okay, well today was fine. got up at 7:30, since my legs have been awful the last week I knew there was no chance I could take public transit. hate this so much!! really really need to get an appointment scheduled with my neurologist, though I know she's just going to send me back to PT. And like, I know it's extremely likely it's getting so bad right now because I've been feeling so emotional and overwhelmed about coming up on the two year anniversary of losing my dad, but like, how am I even supposed to fix that? I just can't. sigh. truly and totally hate this, and if it messes me up at the con this weekend I'm going to be incredibly mad and frustrated (I'll have my cane with me at the very least, but there have definitely been times in the past that it's not been all that helpful, and having an incident in front of a ton of people is hardcore a nightmare for me). so that's all around a major ugh. anyway. I got up and lyft'ed to work since I'm still boycotting uber, and made pretty good time. got in the office and opened clinic, ended up having a pretty time consuming morning in court with 3 cases up (only one of which was actually my case, but I had to cover the others for coworkers, which I don't mind) but they overall went pretty well, so I was satisfied with that. ended up being a fairly productive clinic day as well, got four cases basically done, so that was good. but yeah, a bit quieter than normal, but not bad- I'll definitely take less hectic work days sometimes lol. I definitely feel like I'm building up a better relationship with the clerks- I yet again had a case to submit right down at the wire of the filing deadline (like it's 3 pm and I was in there at 2:59) and normally they hassle me over it, but I was mostly able to play it off with a few laughs and little frustration because they like me now lol so I felt good about that. tomorrow we're closing clinic and doing a file clean up day, the last one of which was in February 2020, not kidding lol. I haven't looked at the plan yet (of course) so I'm not sure how it's going to go or if we need to make physical files for every case we've filed since the pandemic began (which would take a LONG time) or just clean up what we have, so we'll see how that goes. but yeah, we get to wear jeans and they're ordering pizza for lunch, so that should be nice. Headed home shortly after 5, and upon arriving we went out to target to grab a few things a few minutes later. we mostly wanted to look over the discounted easter candy selection, but they mostly just had peeps, which was a bit disappointing but oh well. we grabbed dinner from the panda express in the parking lot of the target and headed home to eat. pretty chill night from there, just doing the usual. Roommate went to bed, I stayed up a bit longer and then showered and got ready for bed, and now I'm here. It's of course getting late now and I'm tired, so I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight friends. Hope your Monday didn't suck.