#Genuinely happy I got this animatic finished this on time

[apolaskiart]

"Booker and Grumley Play Five Nights at Hollywood" aka they get traumatized by perverts. (For Day 31 of Shiptober - Halloween)

[ego-osbourne]

2023 Art Roundup

JAN - FEB - MAR - APR - MAY - JUN - JUL - AUG - SEP - OCT - NOV - DEC

(These aren’t entirely indicative of when I posted them, but when I actually finished them.)

These are some of my biggest/favorite projects through each month!

Piece details + Mod-posting below!

JAN - Asteía ; This was one of my first projects of the year that dealt with lighting, and additionally light from multiple sources! I also remember experimenting with backgrounds and how to make a character pop against a semi-detailed background without making them get lost in the piece.

FEB - Mora and Ego ; This was a good project on figuring out how to fill empty space while still keeping the atmosphere of a piece. It was also good perspective practice!

MAR - Sanguine and Ego ; Though I’m no longer too happy with the proportions or lighting of this piece, I still remember having a blast with it. Hearing feedback about them holding hands and Sanguine’s ear getting squished are very fun memories for me.

APR - Miraak and Ego ; This might be my favorite project of the whole year! Though I know I can do backgrounds better now, I remember being pretty confident and happy during the whole process! I think the motion/lighting/effects all came out very well :] ALSO it was the first piece I did with expressive masks for Miraak and Ego! Wahoo!

MAY - Mora and Ego (again) ; Though the last one was my personal favorite, I heard from a couple of friends that THIS was their favorite. Though a pain in the ASS to do, I’m especially happy with all the texture effects. This was also me experimenting with Mora’s design!

JUN - Erandur ; Not a particularly complicated/difficult piece, but one that was simply pure fun. Had a blast with lighting effects and atmosphere. It was also a good break from the family trip I was taking at the same time ,:]

JUL - Dagon ; Specifically his revamp! This was my first successful attempt at a (very) muscular body type that I liked! In fact, over the course of the year I’ve been pretty proud of my progress of expanding on body types. This one especially, though, was just very fun!

AUG - Iren and Rakell ; My first dive into a colored + shaded animatic (animation? It’s awful choppy lol)! FAR from perfect, but I was (and still am) so happy with the outcome. I particularly remember enjoying figuring out lines of movement and sound effects for the video.

SEP - Sanguine ; My first (and still only, though hopefully not for long) attempt at making Sanguine intimidating. I think this one is going in the right direction! As far as effects go, I actually had a very tough time with things because of a few layer-merging mishaps, but the final product was well-received!

OCT - The Warden ; After many-a night on Minecraft with friends, I realized just how much I loved the warden, and HAD to draw them. Redesigning characters is one of my absolute favorite things to do, especially when taking minimal details and expanding on them! They were super fun all around.

NOV - Miraak, Serana, Ego, and Ancano ; I’d been meaning to draw the siblings being siblings for a while now, but putting them all on one canvas was more than a little intimidating. I was so happy to have it done, though, and I kinda love seeing their colors clash together.

DEC - Sanguine (again) ; After not drawing him for so long, it was a blast doing so. The moment I was back home for winter break, I was ECSTATIC to get to work on this piece. #1 blorbo

~

This year has been an absolute ride.

I became a mod and then co-owner of the TES server that got me into making TDI and have made some really tight friendships over there (genuinely, anyone reading this who is/was in the cult server, I’m so damn happy to know you).

I’ve done some intense progress on TDI, and even though I didn’t QUITE accomplish my New Years Resolution of posting Ch. 1 this year, hopefully you can understand the drawbacks considering I am… //checks notes/// 70+ chapters in and still going.

I’m in college! Have been for a hot second now, but I’ve been working towards a ministry degree, and have future plans of getting a PhD after my bachelor’s so I can teach at a college level! I don’t think I talk a lot about my irl happenings, but hopefully that gives you an idea of why I might be a liiittle busy when it comes to writing. Ministry is an unforgiving degree when it comes to papers and meetings.

As earlier mentioned, I’ve learned how to do different body types, and am trying to find a good balance between shape language and inclusivity when it comes to bodies! I am… still struggling with feminine anatomy! Admittedly! But I’m willing to keep trying ,:]

And, overall, I (certainly hope I have) improved on my art. I have a much better sense of face shapes, line weights, and consistent details than I did at the beginning of the year. Always learning, but always improving, too!

I hope your year has gone well! Thank you so very much for checking out my blog. Tumblr has been a wonderful thing to get into and has led me to a lot of wonderful people. See you in the new year!

[dreemurr-skelememer]

not really an ask but more so just a weird over the top expression post? it’s disgustingly personal but i’ve been thinking about telling you because?????? engngjghbggbb

so i’ve been kinda existing and looking at your work for quite some time. ever since the hikari yo flipnote back on sudo in i think it was 2017? and ever since i was hooked on your artwork and your animations. learning about hotarubitale and how someone was just making these things and having fun was so inspiring to me.

unfortunately i was kind of out of the undertale fandom at that time and i sort of just had you as an artist i liked to look at every now and again… and then you started getting back into errink and with that i discovered rsp and treehouse and i slowly started to look at your works again. rsp actually helped me process something in my life that i realized was a really shit situation… and i got out of it. treehouse has slowly been becoming a cute comfort to me as well. the cutlery animatic helped me process things in my life. i really loved how you explored niji’s grief in it and it was such a unique take on ink and RAAH!!

now i’m back at your blog, rereading rsp, rereading hotarubitale, looking at your art or your fun reblogs every now and it. just made me rediscover a lot of the joy i had in the undertale and by extension underverse lore again. all the things that you do to talk about your favorite little sanses and of course gin has made me really happy again? your art has inspired me and has taught me “it’s okay to draw the shit you like because someone’s gonna love it.”

when you reblogged your old comic about niji seeing hotarubitale again it sparked me to revisit my old aus i made when i was 12.., and now i’m recreating it, having fun, and im being a little goober imagining ink being all happy to see those dumb names getting a brand new fresh banger coat of paint

i sound borderline incoherent and i’m so sorry that im word vomiting to you at 2 am but i just really wanted to thank you for all these Feelings and for just doing what you do

oghhhhg...my god...... that hikari yo animation is so old, it's not even finished....... it always turns me into mush whenever anyone remembers me for my flipnotes and sudo, it holds a special place in my heart so it really means so much to me that you discovered me even that far back..... (this is the flipnote, if anyone wants it, lol)

im so happy to hear that you processed things thanks to rsp, it did the same for me :'( im glad you got out of it!!!!!! and niji's grief!!!! im so happy to hear that!!!!!!!!

this is so.....im so tender, im so flattered by all of this im really glad i can make u rediscover some joy in ur life. im genuinely so honored and flattered, i dont know what to say

and yes!!!!! it's true!!!!! also literally canon!!!!!!!!!! ink DOES see you having fun with your little works and AUs and hes having the best time seeing you creating and making and doing such good things with your work! thats his purpose!!!! thats who he is!!!!!!!!!

yorue welcome...youre so very welcmoe........im so honored to have helped change a part of you into something nice and positvie..........im so so soso honored and proud to have helped somebody. i want 2 cry. youre so welcome. literally anytime. im so happy to have done even this little thing for you

[solarflareanon]

I'm Done! I've wanted to try making an animatic for forever! It was just a matter of figuring out how to get music into csp and that turned out to be Easier Than I Thought. Was I planning on animating my beautiful girl Jan to carol of the bells as my first animatic? No. But it happened to be the holidays when i started this and i wanted to finish it while i had the motivation.

So we get this! Definitely a learning opportunity, and I think i got better as i went along? I certainly got faster at figuring out how to get mind images onto the canvas and i'm genuinely very happy with how quite a few of the shots came out!

Program used: Clip Studio Paint

Audio used: Carol of the Bells cover by Trans-Siberian Orchestra

(story under the cut)

Jan (phur in purple) is attending the annual Ice Dancing Festival in a small town by a lake as she tries to do every year. The day is lovely, phurs of all ages are skating on the frozen surface of the lake and gathering in anticipation of the later competitions. A growing glow is all the warning the phurs get before the lake is cracked open and a hydra-like elemental tears it's way from its seal beneath the lake. As the revelers scramble their way to shore across the shifting ice, Jan runs towards the hydra hoping to stop it before it makes it into town. As she throws her power at it, hoping to destroy it with sheer force, it only proves to make the situation worse and the onslaught of its many heads proves overwhelming. Thrown into the freezing lake and dazed, Jan is at first despairing over her inability to stop the hydra. She then takes a moment to realize she shouldn't try to destroy it so much as restrain and reseal it. She takes hold of the residual sealing magic of the lake and races to intercept the hydra before it can reach shore. With the full might of her magic bent towards pulling it towards the middle of the lake, the hydra proves easier to manage. It is still with no small effort that Jan is able to drag it under and reseal it under the ice, making it a problem for another day. Whether the festival will continue, or they'll call it off this year, remains to be seen.

This was mostly an excuse to animate the fight scene that plays in my head whenever this song comes on. It's more of a slice of life self-contained scene with no real effect on the overarching lore of the world. Jan is a long-time character of mine who acts as a sort of avatar of myself (she isn't a sona, more like a warlock/patron sort of vibe) and ends up living a very long time. This scene takes place on a day off earlier in her life when she's is still learning a lot of the lessons that shape her through the ages, this one being a simple: sometimes problems require a little more creative thinking and a little less brute force to solve.

[timpac-capstone]

Final Spring Update: Motus Mentis

Well, this is it, the end of my Stevens Institute of Technology undergrad art journey. Motus Mentis was a huge success! Not only were there a lot of people from Stevens but the alumni from last year came too, as well as my Mom and my friends from high school. It was definitely surreal seeing all these points of my life collide together in this one room and it made it a bit overwhelming to try and socialize because of how many people I wanted to talk to.

I'll be real, I finished the animation 30 minutes before the doors opened. I had something presentable beforehand but I felt like there were still a few things that needed to be tweaked or were missing. The morning of Motus Mentis I woke up super early to do the credits and an entire cut from scratch, that means I sketched it, timed it, outlined it, colored it, and drew in the background all the while also trying to dress and prepare myself for the exhibition. It was the cut where Dillon turned in his bed, at first I thought I didn't need it but as I kept playing that scene back over and over while working on the sound it felt like we switched between the brain room and the bedroom a bit to fast, it worked but I felt like the timing could be better. When I got to Monira I was just working on a few more timing things such as the 3 zoom-ins on the TV towards the end of the animation. I didn't like how I timed it initially and exporting those was annoying because of them being 3 separate layers that had their own image sequences. I also was able to find some elementary school background noise for the presentation memory which was bothering me constantly that this scene sounded too quiet. Anyway, I was able to make all the adjustments I wanted before the doors opened and a lot of people liked it. They said they found it funny and relatable which is a good thing since that was what I was going for. The most common question I got was how long it took me to make the animation, which you can find out from reading this blog but all of March was the actual animation part while half of January and most of February was the animatic.

What was a major shocker for me was the VHS tapes. I had almost zero confidence that this aspect of my project would be a success because of how much pushback I would get during the critiques. At most, I thought that I would have maybe 5 participants but I ended up having 27, probably even more cause some told me they only did one memory. They were also really glad that I set this up because it made the project feel a lot more personal to them, a lot of people told me that as they were watching they couldn't help but to think about what their most embarrassing and happy memories would be so it was a great way to express themself in the moment. Some of them would even come up to me and tell me exactly what they wrote, mostly they told me the embarrassing memories rather than the happy ones so I'm glad I was able to help people be less nervous about talking about this topic. And for any future Stevens students reading this, this is a great example of if you have an idea that you genuinely think will do great and believe it will tie everything together then you should fight for it despite what others may say.

My mom recorded a few videos of the opening day.

If you haven't already you should definitely check out Bedtime on my YouTube channel. The only difference in this version is that after the Special Thanks the card doesn't read "FEEL FREE TO STEP OVER TO THE TABLE ON THE RIGHT AND REMINISCE ON SOME OF YOUR OWN MEMORIES" and then it would loop back to the beginning.

Great way to wrap everything up.

[noxeorn]

Happy New Year guys!

I remembered that I forgot to post here my whole year summary, not only art related, so here's some reading under the cut :)

Some stuff can repeat what I've already said, but it gives more details

The main summary

- Suddenly my little circle of friends became a bit bigger. I got one close friend more too. This fact still makes me really happy - This point kinda relates to the previous one, but I even managed to be in relationships (in the distant ones tho), which a year ago I wouldn’t even be able to predict. Unfortunately it didn’t last long cause of circumstances beyond my control. It’s still a tiny bit sad and feels like a cruel joke of life/universe on me, but it still was nice while it lasted and I cherish these memories. And well, the contact wasn’t lost too since we’re still having pretty good friendship :> - Suddenly got my interest in tech/IT related stuff back. Once again, thanks to the bigger circle of friends. Cause once you have someone excited about some thing - you eventually become no less excited. It’s spreading - I’ve got a Mac mini 2012 lmao. For what purpose? I have no idea, just for fun, out of curiosity, and for the sake of new knowledge - I’ve been feeling way better mentally this year! Which is great, considering how low I was past year. I definitely had not the best periods this year too, but over all - stuff was not bad. I wasn’t stressing about the lack of commissions, as well as I wasn’t stressing about slow grow of my accs. I was just chilling, doing my own stuff. - I settled down in IZ fandom. Even got some followings from rly cool people. That’s really nice - With some incredible kind of luck and help of my friend I got IZ artbook. It still feels surreal, especially considering whole situation with my country of residence - It was incredibly unplanned, but now I have a cat. It just happened. I still get a ton of emotions watching him, cause the only cats I’ve contacted my whole life were either someone’s cats or strays. It also feels pretty good when your pet is not being aggressive to you and sometimes gives you some attention.

The art summary

- Probably one of the most important things that happened this year: I got accepted as a background artist to a fan animated project. Yes, it’s completely voluntary work and I won’t get anything material from it. But I’ve got into a circle of really cool and nice people, especially in the department I’m in. Everything is still getting prepared for production, so I’m just sitting there and participate in some activities. But I’m really excited to be involved in smth that big in my fav fandom. - I heccin finally started to learn blender! And I even manage to make something there. Very happy, it’s very useful - I fanarted a lot. I’ve never fanarted as much as this year - I’ve made a bit more of meaningful personal art than before - Got back to the kukuri arpg closer to the end of the year - Even tho I get commissions mostly from one person but… it suddenly turned out that I started to earn somewhat not bad amount of money (I’ve looked how much I earned over this year and was genuinely surprised LMAO. I got more than during the last two years altogether)

Afterword/plans

Like the last year, it’s still really hard to plan anything ahead. The max I can do is to make a little list of “I wish I’d….” So here, I wish I’d: - finally sit and made different animatics and finish started animation - finish one started 3d model - move at least somewhere in the sense of learning frontend stuff - make smth with music, especially since now I have access to Logic Pro too. And well, it’s been quite a while since I was doing some music last time We will see tho how it will turn out in the end. Even tho the list is not really big

In the rest, besides of having that dread of unpredictable future feeling, now I feel curious to see what’s gonna be next and hope for the better

Cause I still have a little feeling that this year was another turning point for me.

I just remembered that I wanted to post it here for days but was forgetting LMAO

But here it is, little summary for this year!

I have no idea if any improvement is visible here, but I'll find it out eventually xD What I do know is that this year definitely is an IZ year for me :D

It's been a pretty wild year. If anyone would tell me that I'll get into the animation team for a fan project as a background artist - I wouldn't believe it. But here I am.

I also got some new friends, too! And I'm really happy about it. Was pretty close having a partner too which is no less wild, but stuff fell apart faster than I expected :( there's no one's fault tho, and was nice anyway

Tl;dr: this year was heccin awesome. It was way better than previous one, and for most of it I felt mentally so much better.

Lil bonus with mine improvement since 2010 is under the cut :>

It's indeed been a journey so far.

I think, the first few years were the hardest ones, since I remember I used to be bullied for my newbie art and unwilling to listen to critique, which made me delete all my accs and change my nickname a few times. I mean, I indeed was kinda cringy child way back then, and I'm really sorry to those kind people who tried to help but I didn't listen to them or just couldn't apply it, yet it wasn't a good excuse to make someone feel even worse just cause of these reasons.

I also remember how I tried to drop art a couple of times in period from 2012 to 2014. As you can see - no success, I became too addicted to drawing and painting to just give up that easily.

And honestly? It's really neat to see how much I've improved. I indeed could do it faster, but apparently I'm a slow-learner.

I still have a lot to learn. And I'm really looking forward where my skill will be in a few more years

And I hope that this thing might inspire at least someone just a lil bit.

[reginaofdoctorwho]

if anyone wants to recommend musicals to me I would fucking adore that. Until then, here are some suggestions:

Love in Hate Nation-- LET’S GO LESBIANS! 1960s sapphic love story taking place in a girls’ reformatory. Also, trans girl played by trans actress!!! Some of the amazing songs are “I Hope” and “Oh Well”. Susannah Son wants to be a singer, her performative activist boyfriend is gross and also wants her to marry him so he’ll have better options politically. Sheila Nail is so fucking cool and I love everyone in this. My brain cuts out about this I’m so sorry babes. There is not a cast recording but there IS an original cast bootleg on youtube.

Holy Musical B@man!-- If you liked the goofiness of 1960s Batman and Robin, but think “man, these guys should’ve been able to swear! And also should have had a candy themed villain!” this is the musical for you. Also if you’ve heard of the very queer Harry Potter musical that JK herself tried to sue over, it’s made by the same group <3. As usual with Team Starkid, whole thing is up for free on youtube by the creators.

Firebringer-- Speaking of the same group... Cave people sapphics who I think are bi or pan. I love them and they’re all so dumb. Also, if you’ve seen the “I don’t really wanna do the work today” vine, that comes from this. I do not remember any of the second half other than one of them taking the ring the other is proposing with... to propose. And the “*blows kiss*” “fuck no, Zazz” “duly noted”. Kind of like a shitpost musical. Once again, free by creators. Actually, check out any of their musicals.

The Prom-- In Indiana, Emma just wants to take her girlfriend to the prom, and in response, the PTA cancels it. With some help from some broadway actors looking for good publicity, they manage to pull it off. So, to summarize, teen lesbian gets gay uncle who knows what she’s going through!! This musical makes me cry every goddamn time. There is a movie now, and I’m very happy about that because *high profile gay rep on netflix*, but I personally did not like the direction they took with it. They put a weird amount of emphasis on biological rather than found family in the movie, and were a little too forgiving when it came to trauma from family for being gay. Also, they took away Emma being butch. This was sadly (loosely) based on a recent true story from I think 2012. Also, was the first gay kiss in the Macy’s parade. You know those movie musicals the straight girls in theater like? The music is similar, but gayer, and for some reason that makes me so fuckng happy. I think it’s because non-queer people have had musicals for so long, and those normally have a 60s vibe, and the music in this does too and it feels more classic?? Sapphic promposal song (het at the beginning). “Unruly Heart” and the end of Act 1 will break you. Please ignore the bad wigs.

Spies Are Forever-- GAY SPIES GAY SPIES GAY SPIES!! Curt Mega (played by... Curt Mega) lost his partner Owen during a mission. Now, he’s just trying to get back into spying like Owen would want. I fucking weep every time. Also, a song about comphet (at 6:36)!! And here is a video essay on how it relates to the Lavender Scare. I want you all to know that everyone also headcanons the femme fatale spy in it as either a lesbian or aroace, which uh, makes sense. Also high quality videos put up by creators. They had Jewish people making fun of Nazis while writing this, but “Not so Bad” is... kinda bad. “Torture Tango” has so much goddamn sexual tension and becomes devastating.

Hadestown--  If you know the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, it’s like that, except capitalism part 1. Orpheus is a poor musician, Eurydice dies, just like the myth. Except, the Great Depression post-apocalyptic setting that works better than it probably should. There are actually 3 soundtracks: the concept album, off-Broadway, and Broadway. I personally don’t like the concept album purely based on vibe. Off-Broadway has an absolutely gorgeous sounding Orpheus, and if you’ve heard of the disaster that was Spiderman: Turn Out the Dark, then you’ve heard of surprisingly amazing Broadway Orpheus Reeve Carney. The Fates are gorgeous and I’ve decided they’re queer. Tony’s performance link here. Explores relationships, with Hades and Persephone’s aging relationship mirrored by Orpheus and Eurydice’s relatively new one. Anyway, unionize.

Jasper in Deadland-- If you know the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, it’s like that, except capitalism part 2. Jasper is a teen who’s best friend Agnes is pretty much the one good thing left in his life. His mom left, he got kicked off the swim team (he’s manic pixie dream boy in this, especially for swimming), and Agnes dies at the beginning trying to show Jasper that she’s brave and he should be too. So, he bravely ventures into Deadland to find her, meeting Gretchen the tour guide along the way. He also finds out that since he’s still living, he can bring memories back to the dead. Songs like “Stroke by Stroke” (he’s uh, definitely a teen, guys) and “Living Dead” (I shared a prinxiety animatic of that on here a while ago).They blend Greek, Norse, Egyptian, Christian, and whatever Dante’s Inferno counts as together to create Deadland. Story’s kinda hard to follow from the soundtrack, so if u wanna learn how it all ties together message me.

Death Note Musical-- Okay babes, here’s where it gets tough. It was written originally in English, and there is a spectacular English concept album, but the only productions have been in South Korea, Japan, and I think Taiwan. Listen to it anyways, find a bootleg of it with english subtitles. It has so much gay tension and also a truly ethereal character who seems to be a lesbian who is also either demisexual or demiromantic. If any of y’all saw the anime like me, it kind of cuts out the arc after episode 26. I personally thought it was actually a better story for it.

Alice by Heart-- Okay, this one makes me fucking cry every goddamn time. In WW2, these poor goddamn kids are all alone in the Tube System (is that what y’all call it? genuinely asking here) with none of their parents but still some grownups. Alice’s best friend Alfred is dying of tuberculosis, and to try to have one last thing together they start reading Alice in Wonderland, only for Nurse Hart to rip it apart to try to separate healthy Alice from dying-from-TB Alfred. It doesn’t work, and Alice proclaims she “knows it all by heart”, She tries to linger in the story with Alfred to have more time with him, he keeps trying to move it along because he’s dying and wants to finish it one last time. Themes are growing up and grief I guess.

Last I checked, there is a bootleg for all of these on youtube. Have fun!

[zannolin]

oh ho ho ho. oh HO HO HO. zanna what did i do?-i write fix-its zannolin, it has been a little while, hasn’t it? i bet you’d thought we were finished, here. that the festering hatred within my heart had ceased, and then deteriorated with time. that, maybe - just maybe - i’d had a change of heart, and turned heel from the narrow and inevitably doomed path of resentment. that i’d healed, and am here to extend a hand in solidarity. in newfound friendship.

you were wrong.

i hope you are doing well. (which is a lie, of course, because i actually hope you soon experience a multitude of minor inconveniences that do not actually affect your life or wellbeing negatively. i hope your most well-used pen runs out of ink, and i am manifesting you to receive one less condiment packet than you need in your next fast food order. i hope the cord of your phone charger breaks in an odd way, so you have to pinch the wire at an extremely specific angle to get it to work.)

i digress. first and foremost, i would like to say that i am parasocially livid with you.

the zcu (zannolin cinematic universe) is truly a downright treacherous place. i dared to believe i had grown; that i had, somehow, significantly built up my mental fortitude. see, while you were frolicking in your field of c!crimeboys copium, i was in my training arc. i was growing stronger. i read bittersweet endings. i read major character death. i read your abba au.

and……. and i really, genuinely believed i was powerful, after having withstood the emotional devastation of it all. (and - listen. i know you’re about to defend yourself, like, “i am simply but a poor soul; an innocent writer. i write fix-its, primarily, and the abba au isn’t even 1% of my power.” well, you must come to realize that - no matter how minor the angst within any given media is - i will be completely and utterly distraught over it. i am incredibly sensitive, and regularly tear up whenever i even glance in the direction of the movie up. i actually saw a clip from the new show about doug and mr. fredricksen, the dog and lovely old man from the movie, and started crying almost instantaneously. i am gripping you by the shoulders and shaking you as i say this, because i must stress my fragility.)

[fist clench] and then…….. and then i saw your animatic.

quite frankly, i don’t even want to talk about it.

do you realize, z*nnol*n, how sensitive i am about crimeboys? i managed survive this past november, miraculously. a seemingly impossible feat. and then my progress was unspooled, much like penelope’s woven shroud, when i finally got around to watching the animatic last night.

…….the heart on the l’manberg flag? the unbearably beautiful frame of techno with his back towards the camera? the disparity between schlatt and wilbur’s shadows; one smiling, and one frowning? tommy’s name scribbled on the wall in pogtopia?

some people relate to the joker. i, however? i relate to skinner from ratatouille. and, as a direct result, i am kin-assigning you remy. we are a lot like them, you and i, you see. you remember that scene where remy concocts a downright lovely soup and skinner tastes it, only to immediately be mach-speed launched into a blind rage? the soup is your art.

i am going to catch you with a cup, one day, and slide a piece of paper underneath the cup. i will shake the cup real hard and give you a good rattle, but will ultimately deposit you safely outside afterwards.

i have been merciful thus far, zannolin, but know this: i am recovering, and this……. this has only made me stronger.

one day, i will put a permanent end to your reign of terror.

PASSERINE ANON THE BELOVED so happy to see you're still kicking omg. thrilled, really. also you'll be happy to know my phone charger is actually already finicky and has been a bitch for like a year <3 and my laptop cord has been broken for months lol there's a yard of electrical tape, three prayers, and several blood sacrifices keeping it together at this point.

oh god the abba au i gotta work on that (it gets worse btw) and i will not deny the angst in that one i was doing it on purpose. that one's supposed to hurt.

anyways does this mean i shouldn't make the viva la vida animatic i was thinking about or.....

[princeanxious]

Longish artist/writer rant/vent aimed at my ADHD under the cut bc I needed to get this off my chest-

Rip to every idea I have that my brain demands I make a reality when in the past year I've maybe managed to doodle something at least once a week and maybe managed write something to posting levels of completion once every full moon

Like. If I had it my way I would have whole chapter updates for at least three different major fics each week, and it would rotate between nine major fics each week at least, and be posting one-shots for random one off ideas whenever they came to me.

I spend so much time thinking up of tons of au ideas because i genuinely enjoy them and doing it, and it hurts so much that I am unable to keep up with my creativity no matter how much I want to. Im well aware of burn out, and thr fact that that kind of schedule is pretty unattainable and would result in burn out, but like.

If I could just pick up a fic/chapter that Ive planned out(because ive got a list, and tons of different notes for ideas I want to create but just can't manage to slow down enough to keep focusing on it) and once a week write even just a paragraph, heck, a sentence, or finish a small silly art piece or a doodle, I'd be doing better than I am right now.

This frustration isnt even born from the aspect of 'gotta keep creating content for approval' thing that it usually is, either.

Its a genuine frustration born from the inability to just get my stupidly scattered brain back together. Creating these things, writing them out, drawing them out, I have so many ideas that I want to explore even just for myself to enjoy!

Im pretty sure my brain wouldn't give me countless au prompts, fic ideas, drawing plans, and animatic ideas rent-free every week if I didnt genuinely enjoy exploring it.

I know that I'm not gonna get to explore every idea, but the fact that I have a good number started already that still cling happily to my brain even if its been literal months or even a year since I've posted about them, the fact that they and so many others are so present in my brain and let me get as far and writing the ideas down or getting to the sketch phase, and then whatever it is in my brain that kept nagging me to writing out for the happy chemicals and excitement of sharing it as well as just having physical existance and evidence of an idea that I worked hard on, something that I'm proud of and just.

Like a whisp ungraspable of smoke, that energy or motivation is gone?

And even tho its gone my brain is still screaming at me to continue it, we still want to work on it, we still have so much left undone, we cant stop now! But we cant.

Its like opening a door long enough to feel the breeze or wave at a dog passing by, but trying to open the door all the way to follow and explore only triggers the door to shut tight.

Its like trying to figure out how to get to the other side of a very tall wall. We know that we cant reach the other side of the wall, we have in the past, but sometimes it only makes it grow higher. We know how to do it, to get through the wall, but we know that it takes time and effort and a very specific amount of work to break down the wall, and we know that trying to do tedious tasks that are boring to our brain like that simply creates another wall. Sometimes we're lucky, and we can climb the wall with a burst of energy and ride that energy for all its worth to get to the other side, but then it leaves us exhausted, and climbing the wall will not be an option again for a time.

Its a frustration born from the fact that I know whats wrong with my brain, I do, Ive spent so much of my life with adhd, depression, and anxiety, I've had to learn whats wrong because thats the only way to know how to tackle the issues that they bring.

Its the frustration that despite knowing whats wrong, I still cant make myself face the wall like I know I should. Knowing about it doesnt stop the issue, using effort to adress it does.

And that's where I am. Stuck inside our head, with a creativity in constant flux, and more often than not inability to pick up a pencil to draw, or pull up a keyboard and write. Staring at the wall in our head with the familiarity of being lifelong acquaintances.

[benmcm18]

Group 7 Independent Project!

Pre Production -

This is the second time I’m working with Group 7. It is truly an honour to be surrounded by such talented people. We have learnt from last time and we thought it would be interesting to switch up the roles. Here was what we ended up with:

Director - Jack

Cinematographer - Bonnie

Producer - Heather

Production Design - Ben

Editor - Heather

Writer - Tom

Here were also the tasks we sorted ourselves:

Write a 1-page proposal (synopsis and directors statement) - JACK (13th May)

Make the movie - Jack

Make a plan and a schedule for your work - Heather

Create a mood board (Each character) - Ben

Create a sonic world for the film (no dialogue / no voice-over) - Heather and Ben

Cut together a series of still images or sequences of footage to create a 2min film - Heather

Record some sound effects using objects you have in your room/ house - you can record on your phone. - Heather and Ben

Source and use sound effects and Atmos sound on Freesound. - Tom

Make a storyboard + animatic - Bonnie

Source footage - eg shoot, take stills, source stills, or work with stock footage from Film Supply to envision your idea - Bonnie

Shot list - Bonnie

Scriptwriting and development - Tom

Present it at the crit - receive feedback - Everyone

Write a short critical reflection on your blog. - Everyone

Songs - Everyone

As Production designer I had to create a mood board. We had discussed in meetings what aesthetic we wanted to go for and I believe we ended up with a mixture between films like “Moonrise Kingdom” and “Fight Club”. Either way, these were two of the films I took inspiration from when working on the mood board of the film.

Additionally, I had to think of the costume for both actors. For the man I chose to instead of having major differences in the two separate costumes to instead change them subtly to give a feeling he is still grounded in reality. So that means I added the glasses, changed the tie and gave him a watch to switch up how he looked. The Imagination costume is inspired from Ewan MacGregor’s character in “Big Fish'' we wanted to give him a full blue costume originally but I realised fairly soon that that wasn’t going to happen. So I adapted and decided to use his ties as a means of stating which reality he was in. When he is in the “dream world” he has a very colourful yellow tie but when he returns to his office I believe we went with a black/red tie.

For the woman, I chose to give her a very colourful look. This was purely so she could match the imagination around her. I discussed with Bonnie about possibly putting flowers in her hair but for some reason we couldn’t find anything. In regards to the rest of her costume I gave her shades so that there would be a physical separation between the two. If he can’t make eye contact with her how is he supposed to connect.

Overall, I’m very happy with the costumes and for a first attempt I’m actually quite proud.

Finally, set design. I had recently worked on a project called “Pied” where I had to create a whole set for my actors. That was pretty much my crash course for this independent project. Using the knowledge I can gain from creating that set I tried implementing it into the office workspace and the picnic arrangement. I’m happy with it but it will honestly be down to you to decide if I did a good job. If I could mention any little “fun facts” about what I did here would be a few:

I used a ping-pong table as the walls splitting the workspace

I tried spreading the food along the picnic like a wall that separated the two of them.

There is a jar of pickles in one of the shots. I don’t know who would bring a jar of pickles to a picnic but I thought it would be funny

On the back wall of the office there is a bunch of hidden Easter eggs *HOWEVER* David’s massive head covers them up!

In regards to how the other team members did. We developed the script ideas until we landed on this one. Jack had a great idea about filming some really nice shots of food. We were actually quite a big fan of this idea. I just thought Heather’s idea would allow us to experiment more.

Tom then wrote a (very) detailed script in collaboration with Heather, Bonnie drew a genuinely fantastic storyboard (she is too hard on herself haha) and Jack prepared for the shoot. One issue that presented itself fairly soon was the fact we had two actors on set. However, our Producer (Heather) handled it like a pro and we managed to get the all clear. Overall, a very hardworking start with the promise of Bonnie doing a short animation for the storyboard. (I’m looking forward to hopefully seeing it)

Production -

The shoot day was very fun. We all arrived at 11:30am and we made our way over to the location. Originally, we had planned to film on top of a hill however, things quickly changed and Jack said there was a fantastic path to film on. I was fairly set on the hill idea (As I had imagined the scene being somewhat similar to the UP opening montage) but he said it was a better location and I trust him.

So this is where it got a bit funky. It turns out the location had been converted into a dirt road since the last time Jack had been there. This was a bit demoralising as we had carried a lot of props out but luckily we had seen a location closer to the beach that could possibly work and the rest was history. That very location near the beach ended up where we would film.

With Jack directing and myself on camera we began to make our way through the storyboard Bonnie had devised. I have to be honest there were parts where we deviated from what was on the storyboard: For example, there is a section where he falls over however it didn’t look natural so we thought of another way to film it. This was where I got a bit carried away with VFX. In the long run I’m pretty sure everyone is happy with it but I wasn’t too sure at the time.

Jack did well as a director, he worked well with David and Kady especially when it came to movements of the actors. There isn’t any dialogue in the scenes so it's mainly physical language instead of verbal. My only advice for Jack would be to do a bit more research on the project before going onto the shoot because there were parts of the shoot where actors would ask questions about their character and I wasn’t confident he knew the answer.

In regards to me, I find it very hard to create something someone else envisions because I’m used to directing and filming projects on my own. I definitely think I improved on this project and having the storyboard and detailed script was a big help. I also felt I should have been more prepared as it didn’t look very good in front of the actors with me fiddling around with the camera because I had set it up in the wrong position.

Overall, I think it was a very fun shoot and it went pretty smoothly. You're going to hit speed bumps on the way but I believe Jack and I handled them well.

Oh also, forgot to mention that I had to also record sound and label all the audio and footage for Heather (why do I almost call you Clair XD) It didn’t take as long as I expected and was actually somewhat therapeutic if you can believe haha.

Post-Production -

The post production process has been going well. We have plenty of time until the deadline and we have already got a very solid draft edit so I’m not worried. I just kind of want to get it finished.

First and foremost, Heather has been doing a fantastic job editing the video. She works efficiently, takes feedback on board and seems to me to have a very solid feel on the fundamentals of editing. Looking at the edit now, there are definite issues but nothing that can’t be solved in 10 minutes. It’s clean, fluid and most of all enjoyable to watch. I’m worried without a synopsis people might not get it but I guess you could see it as “up for interpretation” haha!

Before I talk about my role in the Post-Production process, I just want to mention who else is working on the edit as well. Bonnie is planning on adding some very small animations to the edit to give it that feeling of “not-reality” I think this is crucial because without the animation in the shots. When the man defies the laws of physics it will seem really strange. I believe Tom is doing sound, I’ve supplied them with plenty of audio from on set and am free at anytime to get more for them so it will just be down to when it is completed, I have faith that Tom will create something really special with the Sound design as he will probably blend the sound of the surrounding nature with cold office sounds. I’m excited.

Now onto the part I play. I offered to do the VFX for the film and I’m very happy with them. It’s nothing incredibly tedious to create. It’s very basic motion tracking and keyframing but I think using it in small doses works well and with it accompanied by the animation and sound it will take the film to new levels of quality.

I’m just going to talk about the final VFX shot as it was the most challenging (but fun) part to work on. First, I had to figure out how I was going to get the image of Kady onto the wall without printing her because I realised I would be able to match up the shots if I had just zoomed out from an actual image. So I went for a bit of green paper. I motioned tracked it through After Effects and then played with the colour so it matched the scene. I then added an artificial zoom in Premiere and I got the final result. Now, it is not perfect in any means. I wasn’t able to track back any further than I did so the image in the paper actually moves but with the help of Heather and the use of changing aspect ratios I think it really works. I guess we will have to see how people respond.

So that is about everything on the project. I will be back to reflect next month on the finished project. Hopefully it turns out okay. Hopefully, it doesn’t turn into a train wreck. I’m sure it won’t :)

[norcumii]

some musings on TCW season 7

One of the things that makes Tumblr difficult is that I really, REALLY don’t want to harsh anyone’s squee. I don’t want to be that person who sails in, sneers disdainfully at what people are enjoying, and then ambling out, having sucked as much joy out of the room as possible.

My brother used to do that about ANYTHING I was watching, and I still resent it. I don’t want to do that to anyone.

Meanwhile, I’ve reached my saturation point with Season 7 of clone wars, and in my own tired, perpetually exhausted way, I want to scream. Thus, kvetching under the cut. In all seriousness, if you’re enjoying Season 7, then please, PLEASE skip this rant. I sincerely hope you continue to enjoy and Season 7 continues to entertain.

I haven’t watched it: I’m practicing that much self care, at least. There’s been lots of meta and gifsets running around, so I’ve gotten enough second hand exposure – along with useful meandering through various wikis and such – that I feel able to comment about it.

It is indeed very cinematic, and I guess if you dig the art style, then it is a very good example of said art style. But from a broadstrokes perspective, the writing?

What an absolute screaming dumpsterfire.

The thing that finally pushed me from “meh” to “nope, gotta rant about this” was a fascinating piece of meta here, about how Maul is the prism character – the lens through which the story is told. Now, that’s my phrasing and not the OP’s, and again, I haven’t actually seen this so I’m taking a lot of things at face value.

It’s a fascinating approach, and makes the angst and despair that much sharper – especially if you apply this post about parallels to RotS, and let’s not forget the very impressive mocap for the lightsaber fight.

My question, however, is why the FUCK would you do that in the first place? (Not the mocap. That’s genuinely impressive.)

First off: you’re putting the audience in the same boat with the villain. Your lens character is the one who frames the story, who puts into perspective how one interprets events. In this case, that implies that what Ahsoka, Rex, and the rest of the clones are doing is in the antagonist's position, which might be part of the whole “nothing is true and nothing is false but everything is fucked” atmosphere that they seem to be trying to foster (see: Ahsoka’s arguments with Obi-Wan. GFFA has some good breakdowns as far as I can tell). So Maul is supposed to be the lynchpin of this story, either as the protagonist or the Sancho Panza to the protagonist.

That’s a damn weird take on this particular story. Is it about Mandalore? Is it about Ahsoka’s journey? Is it about Maul’s journey? Or are we trying for something meta about how it’s how Maul and Ahsoka’s journeys parallel each other’s, and how those contrast with Anakin’s?

Have you noticed yet who’s missing from this equation?

For a show that’s called “The Clone Wars,” there’s been astonishingly little clones involved in the broader plot. So let’s take a step back from this one issue and look at the season as a whole.

There’s been ten episodes so far this season, out of twelve total. Six of them have centered around Ahsoka. The other four have been about Rex and the Bad Batch. Now, let’s set aside the whole very valid debate about having so many female centric characters and stories is grand, and we need lots more. That’s a damn good point, and Star Wars as a whole needs better diversity on all fronts. Not the particular lens I’m looking through at the moment.

There’s been four of ten episodes about clones. In the final season of The Clone Wars. Yes, they show up in other episodes, but that’s not the focus.

Why would you do that?? We got five seasons already where the clones are more background noise with the occasional highlight (The Deserter, the Umbara Arc), and the entire freakin’ war has been named after them. Ok, so maybe that’s to some degree social commentary about how the Republic was viewing them – background noise against which the weird mythical Jedi shit really stood out – and the sixth season was more a hodgepodge of “we have THESE episodes nearly in the can, rush to finish them because this is important shit to get out the door to bridge from this series to the movies.”

They didn’t expect to have the chance to make this season. They could’ve done pretty much anything, since they didn’t even default to just using the episodes that WERE 70% done (if not more) and had been released into the wild as animatics.

So why pick these stories to tell? And moreover, why this way? Why not make the last hurrah that the crew could not have expected be something coherent and about the actual people that the damned show is named for?

Let’s play with hypotheticals, since kvetching without reasonable alternatives is considered uncouth these days. Let’s say one wants the Bad Batch “rescuing Echo” arc (and that it’s not agony porn. To be fair, I’m not sure if it IS agony porn, thus the presumption that it’s an arc to be had). Since we already spent SIX ENTIRE SEASONS beating home the point that clones are individuals and to be respected as such, rather than introducing new clones who are “aberrations” just to drive home hey, they’re clone versions of TF2 characters clone versions of terrible action movie heroes individuals, how about this?

Cody calls in the Bad Batch, a squad that gets sent into the worst situations and honestly, isn’t ever really expected to come out alive. They’re bad clones, you see. Their leader is probably a man named Dogma – he’s a Jedi killer, but damn loyal to the Republic. His second in command – not that either of them are happy about that – is Slick, a Brother Killer and all around asshole. The other two members of the squad are two deserters: Cut Lawquane, who was found and brought back to the army, and Boil, who was caught trying to leave after Umbara. They have a civilian support member, Suu Lawquane (a damn good sniper, and she now has armor as well as actual clothes).

Bring so many of Rex’s issues home to roost. Make that poor man question all his life choices. He’s still reeling from the whole chip arc and Fives’ death. Let him see what the Grand Army does with its too loyal soldiers, how Dogma did the right thing against orders and is now leading others into the meat grinder on the daily. Let him see what the Grand Army does to traitors, like Slick whose hands are red with the blood of his brothers – just like Rex’s, after Umbara. Cut, who left after too much death, and built a life. Boil, who lost so much, who had enough and just wanted to go find the one remnant of good things that he’d ever encountered in his short life.

They’ve got slave explosive implants somewhere – three because they’re flight risks, Dogma because – well, no one can say why, but it’s so. Let Slick shove Anakin’s nose into the fact that the Jedi are still leading a slave army, have Anakin have to confront that it’s not hyperbole anymore, not when the clones have chips in their heads and now these have slave implants they literally don’t know where.

Hell, have Anakin blow up at Cody over this, and perhaps Cody has to pull rank – establish on screen that he’s running so much of this damn war. He doesn’t like what’s been done with the Bad Batch either, but he can only put out so many fires, and keeping this from raging out of control is the best he can manage.

Let the audience see consequences. Let there be fallout as they go searching for Echo, and the Bad Batch’s various past issues bounce against the experiences of Rex and whoever’s along with him.

(For that matter, if you still want to tackle Mandalore and all that, have one of the soldiers going along with be Vaughn – get to know the man for a little bit. See how Random!Clone reacts to all this, not just Jesse and Kix. Someone without the history with any of these men. While we’re at it, Dogma had Kix in the firing line against Jesse. GIVE ME THE REACTIONS, DAMMIT! AND! And does Rex ever have to say to Dogma “you did the right thing, that Jedi needed to die”? How much does that blow EITHER of their minds?)

Show us travel time. Show us what it’s like for a bunch of soldiers to be stuck in a tin can flying through space along with an entire penal squad of brothers who spit in the face of what the GAR stands for – for reasons both good and bad. Show us what the years have done to Dogma and Slick, how Cut and Suu have adjusted from a life of growing things to having to murder things. How Boil just is done, and wants to head to Ryloth (hey, maybe Numa is currently living with her new sibs/cousins/friends/arch-rivals Shaeeah and Jek).

Then add poor Echo into that mix. Echo, who doesn’t quite know what he’s doing anymore, who was in the Citadel, then stuck in a nightmare of battle sims, and now in this new nightmare of a war that dragged on even longer – and no Fives.

Let us grieve along with him. Fives got a four episode arc (gee, I wonder why this season wanted to start with a four episode arc dealing with the last Domino >_>) where he fell, let us watch Echo’s rise and how he deals with all this.

Let him decide he wants to leave some of the more painful memories behind, how he can’t stay with Rex because it hurts too much, but at least now he’s got some fellow exiles to watch over.

Let the last we see of him be Echo using his new abilities to dismantle both the insidious little buzzing chip inside his and his team’s heads, along with the explosives they also have to bear. Fives died because of the chip, let Echo help others to live in spite of it.

Then slide the camera focus from Rex to Vaughn. Perhaps he gets assigned to go find the former Commander Tano (did he know her at all? Or had he just heard about her?). We could follow him across Coruscant, meeting various civilians who had Strange Encounters with that nice young Togruta. Maybe we get a fun montage: Vaughn questioning people, their various reactions, possibly as a nice voiceover to What Really Happened – that also gives a grand opportunity to get people’s impressions of the Jedi and their clone lackeys.

Then off to Mandalore, still from Vaughn’s perspective. Let us watch this poor man’s rise, as he has to be the metaphorical third wheel to The Team’s reunion. He’s the poor uncomfortable bastard in the room, but he’s a good man, loyal and skilled.

(Also, why could we not get the clones receiving patches or decals of Ahsoka’s markings, and play with that? Emphasize the clones’ individuality – some have it on their shoulder bells, some did the helmets, some have the design down the arm, along the leg – just...diversify, dammit!)

Have Vaughn keep up with Ashoka all the way through to the fight with Maul. Have him be hit, have him be disarmed for the fight – all he can do is witness it (for that matter, you can echo the Duel of the Fates, with Vaughn being in Qui-Gon’s position of dying on the floor).

Then let us see Order 66 from the clones’ perspectives. Show us the sieges, show us Bly and his squad following Aayla into the woods; show us Wolffe and the pack separating from Plo; show us Fox patrolling the Senate.

We’ve seen the Jedi die already. Show us the other side, if you insist on breaking our hearts, and show us how the clones go from good men to good soldiers.

Let me see Cody, let me see the aftermath on Utapau. Let me see Rex breaking, or refusing to break, or whatever it is that happens.

Let this season be about clones.

[echo-inthevoid]

Season 2 q&a and overall reaction

Jonny stealing everyone's names XD 

Is martin going to be ok!? I also need to know! 

He said no;-; 

ok ya, no one's gonna be ok. 

Ya, he must do sooo much research. 

Ya, except for "fatigue" lol.

Eyyy the mechanisms!! 

What's the red string brigade? Ok, I guess a group of fans theorizing about stuff. 

Oh ok so someone else did martins poetry. Ooh, there's more martin poetry out there! *grabby hands*

Ok ya, Alex clarifying that Jon isn't stupid he just makes poor decisions. Probably if he'd paused and thought about it (like I did lol, I had to go do some stuff in the middle of that ep and thought about it a whole bunch lol) instead of immediately going out and buying an axe and further isolating himself and panicking immediately he probably would have figured it out. This is why it's bad to panic in a crisis guys. 

Eyyy! Jonny's parents voiced Gertrude and Leitner! That's so cool. 

XD Jonny grumbling about having to work with his parents. 

Hmm, I hadn't really thought of Gertrude being like a mother figure in the story? She just seems very cut-throat I guess from what Leitner said. Idk so far I've been very suspicious of her. Especially since that one statement where her photo burned a whole bunch of people or something. She just seems very shady... 

Alex chortling over Jonny's pain. XD

Side note, Every time there's a q&a I just can't stop noticing Jonny's voice going in and out of archivist range? Like most of the time I'm just listening along and then he'll say a sentence a bit grumblier and my brains immediately like "ARCHIVIST! That's THE ARCHIVIST!!" 

Martin would be the last one alive in Friday the 13th! It's official! 

(Is it bad that this gives me hope)

Jon likes Nonfiction, documentaries, and probably collects something just a little bit weird. *writes down for use in potential fics* 

also while im at it I remember jon saying he dislikes coffee at one point,  and so many people have him liking coffee in their fics! This has been your daily reminder of that fact because ever since then it keeps bugging me lol. (But also do whatever u want.)

Alex's spluttering sounds so much like Martin.

Yes!! I want to hear jon sing!! Yes! Musical Episode When!!?

Ah yes yes yes! All the characters are so unique!!? How does he do it!! 

Ya, it being in audio format sometimes makes it hard to understand what's happening in the live-action bits. (Live-action is the wrong word but u know what I mean.)

Oh ok ya, how he mentioned he got a pipe was quite clever I didn't realize that that's why he mentioned it at all. 

Ooh, there's a manga where there's something similar to Michael? I'll have to look that up later...

XD Alex and Jonny arguing about apples. 

Ok, so all the statements we're hearing ARE for reals. I kinda assumed but good to have it confirmed.

They used to hang out together!!? Work function curry nights!! ;-; 

Ya Ya! Who made the leitners!?

"You are assuming a book needs to be written" ...ok then. (but it has to have been created somehow??? Did they just spring fully formed from the powers? why? And why take the form of books?)

Alex's mischievous laugh about whether jon has friends *trembles in fear*

Yes!! Micheal is so good! I'm so happy they love him too! Yesyes! His laugh! 

Ah Yes!! Mary kaey was so creepy! 

XD yes yes yes fatigue was written on zero sleep, I knew it! 

Akskdjdkd I love them so much. Also, I've looked up Michaels voice actor luke booys and he does some other horrory type sketches n stuff and I kiiinda want to do a little animatic with some of those but it's Michael like annoying some poor soul lost in his halls... I think that'd be fun. I wonder if anyone's done that yet? If so someone send me the links I neeeed iiitt :3

Season 2 summary:

Uuuuu ya so this season was really good. I kinda listened to it in bursts of about ten episodes every couple weeks and then have been saving up the reactions to post later so these are usually going up about a week or so after I actually listened to the episode just FYI. 

I also do have a lot of spoilers cause I can't keep myself away from fanfic and people don't always tag for spoilers and I kiiinda wana know what's coming beforehand anyway? Idk it's hard man I get very stressed about what might happen and then also listening to too much at a time is too spooky for my poor little heart so I gotta read the less spooky fanfic to fulfill the hyperfixation you see. (If anyone has fanfic with spoilers only up to season 2 that'd be great btw) 

Anyway, I try not to take spoiler type stuff into account unless I'm just so sure of it I can't really not acknowledge that I know about it. 

Also, can I just talk about Michael for a minute?? Cause he's such a unique character? And I guess maybe there are other characters like him but I haven't ever seen one -tho to be fair tma is only like the third horror thing I've ever really got into (the other two are the SCP Foundation in its various forms and Little Nightmares. Hence why I keep making reference to SCP it's really the only thing I know similar to this.) But he's such a cool concept!!? Like someTHING that still has a personality? He's so not human? Like I get what he says but also I don't really? Idk im pretty sure he's an avatar right? Right?? Idk if that means he was a person at some point? But all this to say that he is probably the most inhuman character I've come across so far and I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that's so "other" to me? Like... I don't really know what Micheal's deal is? he seems to want to be sort of a neutral mischief-maker but also it seems like he keeps getting invested. But also I just love the way he talks about himself. Like he's a monster that has a personality and is fully intelligent but isn't just evil but isn't neutral either and certainly isn't benevolent. Like he's so complex and just,,,, the idea of a "thing" that's got a personality?? I love it? Kind of like dryads or spirits of things? Like the idea that after a long time things gain personality just by existing? Not that that's what Michael is necessarily? but that same sort of concept applies to him I think. Like the way he IS the maze and wants to help but wants to just watch but wants to kill them all. He's just so interestinggggggg. (And another vision of what jon could become?)

 also "es Mentiras" is a beautiful name 💕

So are him and not-Sasha avatars? Not-Sasha also seems completely inhuman and I was under the impression that avatars were (or used to be) human? Or are they like personifications of their power? Do all the powers have personifications of themselves. not-Sasha seems even less human than Michael? Like she seems to just really genuinely enjoy causing fear? Tho I guess we didn't really get to hear a lot of her. She just seemed kinda gleefully angry most of the time we heard from her. Was she... Human once!???

Anyway. Also, can I just talk about leitners line about jon belonging to the eye!!? Just..*chefs kiss* hnnnngg I need more jon grappling with that. I just need more everyone dealing with the fallout post all of the finallies ok? I still need more of jon angsting over his worms scars and stuff and now I also need jon freaking out about belonging to a fear god power thing. 

Also Martin! Is Martin ok? He sure did a lot of yelling which he doesn't usually? Look I love him and he actually thinks before he acts (unlike SOME people *looks at jon*) and he writes poetry and it is pretty good poetry ok!! And he cares about everyone and just wants a happy ending and aaaaa😭

Petition to get some statements from Martin's pov tho? I mean that's not gonna happen cause Jon's the archivist but I want more martin pov!! Maybe we can get some of his poem tapes??? Pls????? 

I feel so bad for Tim. It sounds like he's kinda fallen into despair.

Also Elias!!? Is showing his spooky side!!? He can control cameras and beat a man to death with a pipe!!? This is his "place of powerr"!!? I am afeared!!? At least jon knows he shouldn't trust him now. Oh jeez, I wonder if jon will listen back to the tape and know what happened. Thhhatsss rough. Oh dear, I hope he doesn't feel guilty cause Leitner did keep trying to hurry him and now everyone thinks it was him. Even martin thinks he did it? Wich like I kinda want to hear more of his thoughts on that? How much does he believe that jon did it? Tim certainly seems pretty certain but he's a bit biased and cynical right now so. 

And they were in the maze for DAYS? 

Now I need martin recovering from being stuck with Tim in Michaels maze for days being angry and worried and hungry etc... Dksjdksa knowing jon could be dying RIGHT NOW and there's nothing he can do. Please someone give me the fic links if this exists!! I've already written like 5 drabbles based entirely on spoilers/other fics (which I'll probably post (w/ links to their inspirations) once I'm caught up and can make sure I'm not just completely demolishing cannon lol. 

Leitner didn't even scream or yell or anything when he was murdered. Literally the chillest dude ever. F

Overall super great, Elias is terrifying, let's dive into the next season!!! I've got 2 seasons to finish in like, less than 2 or so weeks(?) if I wana be caught up by season 5 hhhh,,,

Better get started I guess. 

[midnightshowing-acm420-fall2019]

Week 16 - Alex - Dénouement

--- Opening Thoughts:

Here we reach the end of the story of this project; the final knot, which took so many threads to tie, yet seemed not long ago to be little more than a tangled mess.  This week, our group achieved more than what seemed achievable, given the time constrains and pressure. And although so much could have gone wrong, this was truly a very ‘right’ conclusion to an epic semester-long project. I’m so very, very thankful, and proud, of each and every member of our our group - without whom this film would never have been possible. And I’m honored to have been a part of what may very well be one of the finest films produced here in ACM Animation since its inception. I also would like to give a huge thanks to all the colorists who made the production pipeline go so much smoother and faster - sacrificing their own time and effort to be a part of something amazing! I also would like congratulate our terrific voice actor Justin Bendo, for his incredible work as the voice of Angel. And to our composer Joshua Namba, who breathed life and vigor into our film through his music.

--- Weekly Deliverables

For my work this past week, a lot has happened, as most of our group can probably agree to. It’s difficult to bring to memory every individual thing, but the core tasks were these: Coloring Sq13s6, a shot I originally roughed for. Although the final version would go on to have some major alterations to Angel, I’m happy to see it least one rough of Phantom I did pretty much stuck all the way to final:

Colored Sq13s16; took a heck of a long time even using pre-programmed inputs for the coloring process. But it turned out good, and due to me needing to use base layers for the characters, Gavin came up with an interesting blending mode for the Old Man which we can see in the final film:

For the next two shots I finished line from last week, plus color and shading for this week. They turned out pretty good I’d say:

We ran into some technical issues when it came to rendering out certain files, and one in particular that comes to mind is Sq9s16, as imaged below.

I don’t know how it was possible to even work on a file this large on Photoshop, with the hardware we have. It was so big that most of our group’s computers couldn’t even open it. Mine struggled big time to load it, let alone render it as an uncompressed .mov. I had to clear almost all my ram, and even then it crashed before finally managing to render it, which only took around 10 minutes (for one shot mind you,) and then uploading it which took a solid three and a half hours. 

This one file almost stopped our whole production. It was amazing, kind of hilarious, and a bit scary, but we managed to pull through. I added a clipping mask to the fire’s lineart to make it orange.

The next thing which ate up a lot of time and energy this week was sound. Basically, I expected have sound done in maybe 5 or 6 hours over the weekend. Turned out it required almost two full days to finalize. Me and Gavin met up to discuss corrections and adjustments, and after some last minute feedback, all the retiming work was done, and we got an incredible audio track. Even though it was a heavy tax on my very tight finals week schedule, I think having those two days to work on it really raised the fluidity and creativity to provide something almost of a remaster to the animatic audio track we’ve been using up to this point. The premiere file itself is kind of a convoluted mess:

Nevertheless, it gets the job done, and taught me a whole lot about sound editing and design over the course of the semester (except organizational skills.)

--- Last Reflections

This semester has been such a momentous one for so many reasons. If 320 taught me “how to work on animation,” then 420 taught me how to work on animation for real. The jump is so tangible, not necessarily in a “workload” sense (although that may be part of it) but more so as an appreciation for the art of animation itself as a collaborative medium, and a visually exploratory one.  I am much more aware now of every element that goes into a piece of work, and I think I can see the great value in attempting to discerning the purpose behind everything we see in Animation, as with any art piece. While it was easy to get away with seemingly arbitrary choices of shape, color, motion and such in the past, it has become especially necessary now to be deliberate in making choice, since the workload falls on someone else’s shoulders.

- Adjustments to the Process in the Future:

Not all of this is necessarily in my control, nor should this be held against anyone or any part of the film making process here, since after all we’re learning and exploring how to work in teams with new techniques. That being said, one thing I would aim to sharpen in the future is the pre-production estimates of workload times/levels, as well as the overall film length. I think I speak for most of us when I say that the film’s scope grew a lot over the course of the semester. And I’m not saying having a large or ambitious idea is bad - that’s my favorite kind of project! But it can become a bit of an issue when it grows to such a scope that we are having to recruit outside helpers and dedicate most or all of the 24 hours we have in a day to be able to manage finishing on time. Basically, just have a more rigid plan from the start, and be very cautious towards anything that adds unnecessary levels of complexity. That’s something that can be addressed at the animatic stage. Beyond that, being more cautious with the estimates of time and energy requirements per shot would help. I noticed that some (or maybe most) of the shots required quite a bit more time than originally intended to be roughed, lined, colored, and shaded. That’s not taking into consideration all the revisions they may go through as they are reviewed, given feedback, and trade hands between group members. Production schedule-wise, it’s much better to undershoot I think, and have a lot of extra time to hammer out details, maybe refine shots, and properly apply feedback versus feeling the dread of being behind schedule and cutting years from your life due to the amount of sleep lost to try and catch up. A general rule of thumb is that specificity helps. Despite how meticulously we planned, we would still occasionally run into issues such as what color a prop might be, or how the shading might change between environments. Or another example might be how a character’s physical attributes such as stretchiness might change or remain consistent throughout the film. Although these were minor things that got addressed in the end, baring those details in mind in the future would be of great help I think.

- Words of Advice to Future 420 Students

You have three options: either become a cyborg, learn to hate sleep, or adapt to being powered by copious amounts of coffee every day. As for me, I took something from all three of those this semester. Joking aside, these are some general pointers I would give to incoming 420 students: -Choose your story and teammates carefully: This semester can be as fun (or unfun) as you make it to be. No matter what though, the people you have at your side are the people you’re stuck with. Hopefully by this point in the major you would be familiar with your teammates and their individual strengths and quirks, so if you’re having trouble picking a team in the beginning, go with the people you feel are the most self-determined, hard working, and whom you can adapt to their mold (not necessarily vice versa.) If you hate your team, you will hate your semester. But if you love your team, it doesn’t matter how tough the work gets, because you can still come to class with a smile (a very dead inside smile.)

-Come in with a strong concept: Even if your idea doesn’t get picked, being able to receive other people’s ideas and represent them faithfully is vital to the overall success of the production. The better you understand the idea you are working on, the better prepared you will be to make it a reality. Also, simple designs and ideas tend to get picked more often. Keep that in mind when developing your idea.

-Diversity is a strength: Having a broad skillset on your crew is incredibly important. Ideally, everyone can functionally perform any given task on the production. But having specialists assigned certain specific tasks is very helpful. It serves to balance the workload more or less equally among members based on their strengths, and the result is a product where you have good work reflected in all aspects of the film.

-Be prepared to change your schedule: Unless your group’s idea is ridiculously simple, chances are you will be losing sleep, possible questioning your choice of major, and being forced to change both when and how you are available to people and things you care about in the world outside the borders of your computer screen. It is not a joke to say that this course can affect your health, your diet, and maybe even the way you view other people - or even yourself! If done properly, this class should challenge you in the way you live and handle work. It should force you to adapt to an animator’s lifestyle. Not that you need to forsake life to be an animator necessarily, but to give you a taste of what the industry may demand of you through certain seasons of life.

-Be able to take a joke: By the end of the project, you’re going to be throwing shots at each other left and right. It is a crazy, whacky time - and you may find yourself forgetting this is all for a school project. Learn to enjoy acknowledging your own weaknesses, and have fun pointing out the flaws in others, when its appropriate. This makes the experience not only more enjoyable, but in a strange, ironic way it makes us become comfortable with our shortcomings, and enables/pushes each other to genuinely improve our skills, and ultimately create a better product.

-Communication is key: You need to keep up with your group. Period. If you are our of the loop for even a day, it can throw things off big time. Setup a chat group via text, setup a Discord server, or find some other means to talk to one another that is reliable. Even if you don’t always feel like chatting, just be ready when somebody needs you (which will happen quite a lot.) Also, having a system of file sharing such as Google Drive is indispensable. You may find yourself keeping certain tabs open and rarely closing them, just to check for updates and be able to send/receive files when you need them. 

-Practice makes perfect: I don’t care how good or bad you think you are at animating up till this point; if you do your best in this class, you will grow. You may find yourself drawing in a different art style than you’re used to, and implementing work methods and software that you’ve never used before. And that’s wonderful! Be open to experimenting and exploring new styles of work. I’ve found that is a big part of what makes animation enjoyable and inexhaustible. Just when you feel like you’re set in your ways, the moment you step into something new, it’s a whole other world, and you just might find something you like about it.That opens the door to not only other ways of being creative, but on a practical level, makes you a much more viable component to a team when being considered for hiring. Don’t let the early hardships bog you down; with time and practice, there’s nothing you can’t do. -- Well that pretty much wraps up this last blog post and the semester for 420. The experience has been life altering, no joke. I have no regrets, and I’m so thankful to have had the chance to work so closely with everyone. In my experience, this class has been the difference between being an animation student and becoming a professional animator. Even though it was as a real challenge emotionally and physically, I would take the class again if I could, and I very much look forward to working with you all - my fellow animators - in our continuing classes, as well as our careers beyond. You all have been my family here while I’ve been without one since moving all the way out here for school.

Thanks to Brittany for teaching our wonderful class! And to everyone who has fought through this semester together and made it something special, right up until the very end. Until next time my friends, this is the Undercover Animator signing out.

[puawarriors-production]

Week  13 - Alex - Assessing the Mind

This week was a bit discombobulated for me, between working on roughs and sorting through sounds to recompile the animatic. Last week we did the monster sound recording after class, and although it took a little while to finish, the growls are quite exquisite, if I do say so myself. 

We also had a tutorial for final line art and color with Gavin, which sort of ended up turning into a long meeting/hang out session. We as a group had some good heart-to-heart conversations regarding the progress the films, as well as our collective mental state. We decided a few changes are necessary for us to continue functioning, not only as animators but as human beings. So, I think we’re going to take a step back, and give ourselves more time to work. To be sure, the projects will continue into completion - I believe everyone is on board for that - but we will likely just need a bit more time to truly “finish.” Some of that comes from the psychological stresses of life right now. It makes it difficult to focus, and our art begins to suffer. There is also a technical aspect; in regards to sound, we no longer have access to MELE, and our sound mixer Tim is surely struggling to figure out things for his own classes. We are set to do remote recordings with Leilani’s voice actress soon-ish, but due to shipping delays, it will definitely set some of the roughs back (therefore the whole project.)

Right now I think we should try to just take care of ourselves, and leave room to just recuperate some sense of sanity, in this insane time. Allow ourselves the opportunity to grow through this all, and try to focus on making our work good; something we are happy with, rather than simply rushing through it all and generating more stress than we’re already dealing with.

So here’s the animatic sound stuff I did:

I also got this shot basically done for rough. I tried to put more time into perfecting her head and lip sync:

And I’m currently grinding through this shot:

*Mouth and more in-betweens to be added in the next update*

I think we’re just gonna take things one day at a time. I’m aiming to get at least one rough a day done if possible. I think that’s fairly manageable. Overall, I still have a positive attitude, and I hope I can at least try to share that with others. But at the same time I recognize people are feeling genuinely low right now, and sometimes the only solution is to allow time to heal those wounds. But I just want everyone to know that you’ve all been truly amazing to work with, and even though things are tough right now, we’re here for each other to lift each other up, and share the occasional meme and bunny rabbit photo now and then. Please stay well, everyone! You’ve gone far beyond the call of duty already. You all inspire ME! Let’s do our best to try and find some light in the darkness.  Until next time peeps, it’s Alex, the undercover animator, and part time Ganitine, signing out. ^U^