#Genital Jousting

[ordinaryschmuck]

I'd....if question who came up with this idea.

Dude, there exists a game where you could play as dicks (like, literal penises) and shove yourself into other players asses. I'm not kidding, that exists, it's called Genital Jousting, and look that up if you're not a minor.

Trust me when I say that this is not even the weirdest game out there.

[jtgunner]

New let's play video is up on my YouTube channel! This is Genital Jousting for PC! It's time to just dick around!

WATCH IT HERE: https://youtu.be/8dM7ElBUAT8

[syrupspinner]

I beat genital jousting

I'll let you know if I ever build up the courage to ask a group of people to help me with the multiplayer achievements

so. penises am I right. I think I speak for everyone when I say it's just an inherently stupid part of the body. I think if you showed an adult a penis for the first time they'd react with fleeting amusement, just seeing it flop around and change shape

fun fact, I'm usually the designated penis explainer to virgins. before I came out I was always the only boy in a female friend group (now I'm just the only penis'd one) so I always ended up roped into situations where I had to explain my genitals to giggling drunk girls, at their excited insistence. their first question was always how our balls don't get crushed when we walk with our legs together, where I explained that the penis is mostly in front of the body instead of right between the legs like a vagina is, so they usually just rest above the thighs

oh my god I haven't talked about video games in almost 3 minutes! Genital Jousting is just okay

I want you to close your eyes and imagine a penis. it's wearing a silly outfit, like a suit or a jumpsuit with long flailing arms. it's writhing on the ground like a water hose you let go of, only instead of water its farts. it also has an anus for penis sex.

did you laugh? buy the game. you'll get a giggly afternoon

theres something that can easily be considered a problem with comedy games like this. y'know the kind, like Jazzpunk and Dr. Langekov. they're short, so they're not very substantial, but you can't really correct for that because then the games humour will just start to grate and stop being funny. seriously, imagine if Octodad or Soda Drinker Pro had 30hr+ campaign modes, and think about the stone-dead neutrality that would be on your face in the endgame.

but unlike other short games, with maybe the exception of puzzle games like Superliminal and Manifold Garden, it doesn't have a lot of replayability. sure, it can still be entertaining, but a joke will never be as funny as the first time you heard it

but it doesn't need to be long or replayable, because it's funny. and yeah, the campaign was funny enough

but it's kinda unfair to say this game isn't replayable, because there's the multiplayer mode. I struggle to imagine a situation other than a queer polycule where playing penis soccer doesn't secretly make everyone kinda uncomfortable, but a niche audience is still an audience. in highschool, I was friends with the kinda people who had that picture book with the hole in the middle, where you stick your penis through and it's an elephant trunk or something equally silly. the only problem is that jokes aren't usually sexy, at least if they need a whole setup like that, so you're usually flaccid by page four. I guess you could watch porn, but that seems a little impersonal given the-

right. video game. 

in my experience, the multiplayer mode is decent fun if you're at that kinda party, and it's up to you to make the judgement call of if the present company can handle it. "let's play the penis game" is a dangerous sentence to your coworkers. I think the amount of time they expect you to put in is a little extreme though, I don't think many people filled the Penis Milk Tank all the way naturally. yeah, that's uh, how you unlock things in this game. it's like a battle pass, but more verile. 

so basically, it's a quick silly romp through pen island. personally, I though $9 Canadian was worth the chuckles - it wasn't laugh-out-loud funny, but dick jokes aren't my thing anyway. Besides, I've paid more than that for a burger. I shouldntve, but it's a comfort food and we were at a new restaurant, I was justified.

[sirfrogsworth]

Review of Blue Eye Samurai on Netflix

There are some spoiler-ish things below, but I think most of it is in the trailer, so I don't think I will ruin anything. I'll warn you during the most spoilery section, though the show makes the "twist" pretty obvious from the beginning.

Premise

Blue Eye Samurai is a Kill Bill-style revenge tale that takes place in 17th century Japan. The samurai is half white/half Japanese. The show states that no white folks were allowed in the country back then, so the samurai tries to conceal blue eyes with some sweet BluBlocker™ orange glasses. The Samurai is displeased to have white heritage and decides to try and kill all the "white devils" hiding in Japan.

Will some reactionaries complain there is a show all about someone trying to murder white people? I have no idea. But they're all bad white people, so I'm hoping it won't become a thing.

My Hot Takes

A few episodes meandered a bit, but I enjoyed the series as a whole quite a bit. If nothing else, the sword fights were epic and bloody. I would have watched it for that alone. And there is some gorgeous art direction where they really take advantage of the 2D styled, 3D animation. Plus, Japan is just really pretty. There is also a puppet show that was brilliantly mixed in with the story and the way they animated it was next level awesome.

They fell into cliche a few times. I think they were trying to do homages and tributes but ended up in Derivative Land and some of them felt a bit cringe.

They used "Battle Without Honor Or Humanity" which is that rousing instrumental song from Kill Bill and it was way too on the nose. Like, yes, this show is obviously a 1600s version of Kill Bill, but you're not supposed to make it that obvious.

Also, there was a Metallica song that equally made me roll my eyes and think, "That is badass" so I give them a pass on that one.

And there were a few sections where it felt like you were watching someone else play a video game. I don't know how else to describe it. As if the narrative melted away and suddenly a bunch of Prince of Persia obstacles appeared.

That said, the story was enjoyable, the actors were great, the characters were interesting, the animation was solid, and the fight choreography was top notch.

The nice thing about animation is you don't have to do any jump cuts during the action, so you get to really *see* the fights develop. Thankfully they didn't make use of a lot of impossible-in-real-life camera moves, so it all felt very grounded. As if these fights could actually be filmed in live-action. I suspect they may have even used motion capture or closely adhered to reference footage. Most of the non-fantastical choreography felt like something a stunt performer could actually do. They even had some legit Japanese samurai-style sword fighting moves before it got to the "John Wick with a katana" part of the show.

Back in the day, samurai duels were more akin to jousting than fencing and usually only lasted one or two moves. It can be pretty exciting as long as you build tension and anticipation. But if every sword fight in the show was like that, it would probably get boring. But it was still nice to see it toward the beginning.

So the quality was a bit roller coaster-y at times, but I think it was a solid first season. And I am really hopeful they get a chance to smooth things out in a second. But it is Netflix, soooooo...

As far as content warnings, there is a lot of blood and sex and nudity. Women are very subjegated and some of those depictions are rough. There are some brutal torture scenes. And I think there is implied rape, but it isn't made super clear.

The nudity was surprisingly balanced which felt refreshing. So get ready for boobies and floppy cartoon peens. All the genitals get screen time.

Quick aside about erotic scenes...

There has been recent discourse about nudity and sexy time in media. My biggest issue has always been that men's bodies are rarely shown aside from the patoot. It is never balanced and I always felt uncomfortable with that arrangement. I know movies are a bit stuck because the MPAA has decided dicks in a sexual context are an automatic NC-17. But even in newer HBO-type content where they do show penises, they are usually prosthetics. Hyper real fake dicks on top of real dicks that probably cost tens of thousands of dollars to develop and apply.

Like, the folks with boobs don't get expensive prosthetics. Only the most famous actresses can opt for a body double. For years, if an actress wasn't willing to get naked they would just say, "Well, I guess we'll just have to find another actress."

And now if a guy doesn't want to get naked, apparently the response is, "Don't worry, we'll raise Stan Winston from the dead so he can make you a perfect megadick."

Women are usually asked to do the brunt of the nudity and I have long felt that wasn't fair and it was exploitative whether intentional or not.

I just think if you are going to ask actors to be vulnerable, everyone should do it or no one should do it.

I also think we need to see more normal non-porn genitals. Like, you can't brag about your progressive all-inclusive nudity if you slap a giant fake wang on every time.

/end tangent

And now, the spoilery part...

The big twist, which is really only a big twist for a character in the show and not the audience, is that the Blue Eye Samurai was born a girl. To avoid capture and death they essentially hid in a different gender identity. And I'm trying to decide if this is a trans story or not.

Sometimes it felt like the show was bluntly saying, "She's a girl. See, she has boobs and no penis. And we make a big deal about her getting caught naked. It's like Mulan!"

But then the show kinda/sorta implies that while identifying as a man was a tactic at first, the Blue Eye Samurai came to feel much more comfortable as a man most of the time and only revealed their feminine attributes to a select few. They also had a binding scene which felt like intentional trans imagery.

Since there wasn't the same concept of trans-ness in 1600s Japan as we understand it in modern times, I'm having trouble determining if this is just an homage to Mulan that wasn't thought very deeply about, or if this is allegory exploring a trans identity.

It is unclear if the identity was chosen purely out of necessity or if there was more to it.

Was it like... they tried on a coat because it was cold, but then they really liked how it fit and made it an essential part of their wardrobe?

Or was it just pure pragmatism? If they don't wear the coat they will die from exposure.

I'm worried they wanted to stay close to that line where they could say it wasn't a trans story if that ended up being more convenient. I don't know. I'm fine with allegory and I really enjoyed how they did it with Nimona, but this felt more deliberately ambiguous and it frustrated me a bit. It would be nice if we could just have blatant trans stories that didn't need to hide in ambiguity to avoid controversy. But maybe there were more obvious things I missed and my confusion is unwarranted.

I also think an argument could be made for ol' Blue Eye being genderfluid. Actually genderfluid would make a lot of sense. Their masculine side is the stoic warrior and their feminine side is their vulnerability, love, and humanity—reserved only for those most trusted. And when the two blend and they are a warrior woman they get super horny. So the entire spectrum is there.

I'm sure there will be a long complicated video essay analyzing this gender dynamic.

/end of spoilery section

In any case, I think if you liked Kill Bill, this might be a show that interests you. It has much less cultural appropriation and blatant stereotyping. No Pussy Wagon, but there is a cool horse. And they did use an all East Asian voice cast, so that representation was cool. And the co-showrunner was Japanese, and I think that influence definitely made a difference.

I give Blue Eye Samurai 7.5 Froggies out of 10.

[atlas-nsfw]

You go with however many sets of genitals you think centaurs need. I am 100% here for whatever you write.

I have to admit though, my vote was for one set (the horse end), only because I can’t get the image of a naked centaur galloping by with his human dick on the front just flopping and bouncing and flailing around all over the place, or sticking straight out like a jousting spear if he’s hard.

I recognise my complete immaturity here, but I just think I’d completely lose it if I saw that.

🪢

It would sheath! The “human” dick would be more like another horse dick in a lot of ways. It would have a sheath to protect it naturally and I think many centaur would cover with draping clothes in the front anyway.

I mean by the logic of things flopping as a reason not to, that contradict centaur woman with boobs. And I have to have my centaur women! Besides, the dick won’t be flopping about if it is stuffed in a human tied to his chest!

There is a lot of “logic” that works against most monster fucking anyway. Like you cant have centaurs running with humans in harnesses on their horse dicks “in reality” because “logically” they would kick up rocks and kill the human. And well.. a human’s organs would probably rupture taking horse dick anyway!

[hermithomebase]

genital jousting…?

most breathtaking game ever made. george would LOVE IT.

[lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently]

You should read the Wikipedia article for genital jousting (video game). It's a wild ride

i read it and. man😭

[pudknocker]

本作を手がけるのは南アフリカを拠点とするインディースタジオのFree Lives。集団肛門性交アクション『Genital Jousting』、アクション映画スター風キャラ勢ぞろいアクション『Broforce』などの作品を展開してきたスタジオだ。

自然ビルダー『Terra Nil』PCなど向けに3月29日発売へ。不毛の地に豊かな自然を取り戻し、そっと立ち去る - AUTOMATON

[keroascrazy]

Apparently dnails will genital joust spring mating and the one who penetrates first is the male, the one who loses is the female.

Though I guess it would probably be more accurate to just say the first one to poke inseminates and the other just incubates.

autistic who goes “fun fact” and then proceeds to tell you the most gruesome unfunny thing you’ve heard all day

[sexyidiots165dvrs]

Ya know...we never did return to Genital Jousting

[rikka-chance]

Twitchで2回目のBANされたあとyoutubeで【genital jousting】っていうおちんぽゲームを楽���んでたときにいただきましたありがとうございます♡ネコランジェリーを身に着けてえっちなゲーム配信をしているところをしっかりと描いていただきました♡Twitchﾘﾆﾝｻﾝではできないゲームをyoutubeでするのもありかも♡

[eclipsedcrystalstar]

Max: Everyone here would play genital jousting though hands down

[maximuswolf]

AMA: Were Devolver Digital! Its our 15th anniversary and were known for our Direct presentations the iconic mascot - Volvy and games weve published like Enter the Gungeon Hotline Miami Cult of the Lamb and many more!

AMA: We’re Devolver Digital! It’s our 15th anniversary and we’re known for our Direct presentations, the iconic mascot - Volvy, and games we’ve published like Enter the Gungeon, Hotline Miami, Cult of the Lamb and many more! We’re Devolver Digital and for our 15th anniversary, we wanted to reflect on our years of making marketing propaganda for interesting games. As a publisher, we help developers bring their games to the wider gaming public. You may even have played some of them: Enter the Gungeon, Hotline Miami, Inscryption, Broforce, Cult of the Lamb, GRIS, The Talos Principle, Shadow Warrior, Loop Hero, Katana Zero, Genital Jousting, and many more. Ask us anything and we’ll get to as many questions as we can over the next day from different time zones. Every single one of our games will be on sale on Steam today so we implore you to show your brand loyalty through purchases and wishlists. Participants: Assistant Social Supervisor: NigelCommunity & Beta Squadron: AlexElder Roadie: JM Out of Office Specialist: RobbiePitches & Influencers Gremlin: ClaraSenior Producer: BridiespecOps: KateTrailer Guy: KertProof: https://twitter.com/devolverdigital/status/1791103987611205731https://preview.redd.it/3qmtj8muus0d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=b87a3f51a0f56be0e65dc38af6638f6ac2743e67 Submitted May 16, 2024 at 08:51AM by DevolverDigital https://ift.tt/9KLaQjq via /r/gaming

[insurgentepress]

Cricket Through the Ages estará disponible el 1 de marzo

TeraGames / InsurgentePress, Ciudad de México.- Desarrollado por Free Lives (Terra Nil, Broforce, Genital Jousting), el éxito para móviles Cricket Through the Ages llega a PC y Nintendo Switch el 1 de marzo del 2024. Batea y lanza bolas mientras vives historias entrelazadas llenas de humanidad y críquet en esta oda a golpear cosas con madera. Hace más de mil años, la raza humana estaba al borde…

[hermithomebase]

if dnf played i am Bread on stream together i would ascend to a new plane of spiritual existence

i need them to play so many of these old duo games FUCK 😭😭😭 surgeon sim, manual samuel, genital jousting, snipper clips, I COULD GO ON ALL DAY. I JUST NEED IT 😭😭😭😭

[linuxgamenews]

Experience Cricket Through the Ages on Steam Deck and Linux

Cricket Through the Ages physics-based action game is coming Verified for Steam Deck and Linux via Windows PC. Thanks to the exceptional skills of the Free Lives development team. Due to make its way onto Steam. I'm excited to talk about Cricket Through the Ages, a title that's been a huge hit on mobile and is now coming Verified for Steam Deck and Linux. Developed by Free Lives, known for their unique and entertaining creations like Terra Nil, Broforce, and Genital Jousting. This latest offering is a quirky and hilarious journey through the history of cricket but with a twist. Cricket Through the Ages, a major hit on mobile platforms, is now due to make a big splash on PC. This isn't your typical sports title. Developed by Free Lives, the creative minds behind unique titles like Terra Nil, Broforce, and Genital Jousting, this release promises a quirky and entertaining experience.

Cricket Through the Ages | Swinging for PC

Picture this: you're wielding a bat, not just for cricket, but as a tool through a whimsical journey of human history. The game a mix of sports and history with a twist of humor. Eurogamer hit the nail on the head calling it “2001: A Space Odyssey with a bat,” and The Washington Post can't get enough of its Monty Python-esque charm. They thought they'd tire of it, but nope, it's just too good. Now, let's dive into the backstory of the Cricket Through the Ages physics-based action. Imagine a world where humanity is on the brink, threatened by enormous beasts. And then, out of nowhere, cricket comes to the rescue. But that's the kind of fun this title offers. Cricket Through the Ages features are as unique as its premise. You get to master cricket with a simple control scheme – just one button! Plus, there are nine different modes, each rooted in historical accuracy (well, sort of!). You can play solo or compete against a friend. It's all about physics-based hilarity, something Free Lives is pretty famous for. Whether you're a seasoned player or just looking for something fresh and amusing game, Cricket Through the Ages is physics-based action worth checking out on Steam. It's not just a sports title; it's a journey through a creative reimagining of history. So, whether you're going solo or teaming up with a friend, this Steam Deck Verified and Linux launch via Windows PC is something you shouldn't miss. It's history, it's sport, it's laughter – all rolled into one.