#Gas Monkey Live!

[kineticallyanywhere]

Time & Space pages 1-2 ( This is the start || ao3 (not yet!) || next ) Starts less than 24 hours after the death of Willy Stampler. With the job done, there's finally time to sort some things out. They just need the right amount of space.

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny Pt.9

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.10]

"Fan-sea meeting you here. You must be Phantom!"

Danny slowly turned around, grin blinding. "I shore am. Who's asking?"

Danny knew exactly who was asking. Bludhaven's vigilante, Nightwing. If the giant dark blue bird emblazoned on the front of his suit didn't give it away, the friendly demeanor and the puns would have. Plus, now that Danny's figured out who Tim was, the rest were pretty simple dots to be connected.

"Hi. I'm Nightwing. Thanks for saving Batman."

"I am Phantom. You are welcome. Please lecture him on the necessity of keeping the waters clean."

"Uh, I think he knows," Nightwing grinned. “So, why are you cleaning Gotham’s bay? I heard the Atlantic is nice this time of year.”

“Exactly. This?” Danny flapped a gloved hand around them, specifically at the moldy docks and the paint scraped board. “This is not nice. If it were nice, I wouldn’t need to be cleaning it. Look at that paint! It’s flaking off into the water! Does Gotham not have proper boat maintainance? That’s dangerous for the waters and seafarers!”

“Woah, you know a lot about boats,” Nightwing commented, crossing his arms and leaning back. What the hero didn’t know was that he knew more about boats than Danny did, as Danny’s hyper fixation was more focused on space ships and Dick had education à la maison de Bruce Wayne which usually meant an absurd amount of information for someone who doesn’t actually use boats as a regular mode of transportation.

“Rust! Rust is very much a thing!” Danny ranted, using his ice to scoop up water and using it like a makeshift filter. “It weakens bonds! It’s a tetanus hazard! And oh, don’t even get me started on how you people mutated the ocean life!”

“Mutated ocean life? I’m pretty sure we hadn’t. It’s just a little weird, right?”

Without another word, Danny dove into the weird ecosystem that was the Gotham bay. He came back holding a wriggling green thing the size of a worm.

“Do you know what this is?” Danny demanded. The thing flopped around on his gloved hands.

“A sea monkey?”

“They’re brine shrimp. Brine. Shrimp. Do you know what regular brine shrimp look like???” Danny shoved the thing at Nightwing, who took a step back.

“Not like that?” He replied, a quizzical look on his face.

“No, not like that! What in the ancients is this?!” Danny waved the weird sea brine that had started glowing faintly, like Danny’s natural ectoplasm glow. “Far be it from me of all people to judge evolution but this was all man made!” Danny gently tossed the brine shrimp back into the bay. “Brine shrimp is staple food for the ocean! You’ve got weird brine shrimp? You’ve got weird fish! Why is it impossible for this place to, for even one day, refrain from dumping hazardous chemicals or dead bodies in the water?”

“Ooookay, how about we take a breather?” Nightwing quickly glanced around, trying to find something to change the subject, feeling oddly guilty at the earnest expression on the kid’s face. “Uh, I was actually wondering if you’d swing by the waters near Blüd?”

Danny crossed his arms. “I clean the waters as a past time because you humans don’t know how to keep it clean. I am not a personal, on call, seakeeper.”

“Batman will pay you for your time,” Dick offered. Danny straightened. Amity didn’t actually cost that much to live well, but Gotham was a whole other ball park. The rent might be dirt cheap for a city, but the special pricey little add ons such as gas masks and space level insulation on top of the sky high insurance policies were draining what’s left of his half dead soul. As they say, Danny was a city dweller first and Phantom second.

“How much, when, and I won’t fish up the bodies unless he pays me extra.”

“Four thousand base pay, extra one hundred per identity, fifty for bodies with no shades, and on the weekends.”

Danny straightened as his mother’s steel spine, Jazz’s whip sharp wit, and his own craftiness made their appearance as he bargained. “Five thousand. Rate agreed, but I can only do every other weekends and I’ll have to call out some days.”

“Okay.” Nightwing rocked back on his heels with an affable smile. It’s Bruce’s money and it’s going towards his probable future baby brother, after all, even if said baby brother is a dead immortal Atlantis founder. Or something.

Danny groaned. “You are supposed to bargain back. But I’ll take it.”

“Great! Who do we got tonight?” Nightwing looked down at the plastic/burlap wrapped person Danny dragged onto the shores a bit ago.

“The lake kept the body cold, so it should be preserved adequately if you want to examine him,” Danny tilted his head to the side, the flames of his hair tilting with him. “He said his name is Gorganzo Bean.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It’s a nickname he got for eating a whole can of beans straight.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it. Any more details?”

“Sure.”

When Danny reached to take the money from Nightwing, he found that the hero had tightened his grip on it.

Danny pointedly dropped his gaze from Nightwing’s face to the money.

“Wait. I- I heard from a source that you could possibly smell souls.”

Danny yanked the cash out of Nightwing’s hand and shoved it into his shoulder. If that didn’t confirm Nightwing’s identity, he doesn’t know what would other than the guy telling Danny who he was. “You’ve been speaking with Danny. Yes, I can.”

“Can you tell what’s wrong with my brother?” Nightwing blurted out.

Danny stared at him, his legs flickering in and out to his tail form. “…Other than dressing in probably leather or Kevlar and going out to beat criminals with his bare hands?”

Nightwing opened and closed his mouth. He coughed awkwardly. “Other than that. Why is he- um, stinky? Soul-wise,” Nightwing added, clearly humoring the tinny little voice at the base of his temples that was an annoyed Red Hood saying that he showered. “He showers often. And is definitely not stinky body odor wise.”

“I am not a doctor. Well, not now anyways,” Danny said, thinking about his future PhD. “But he’s got a… soul infection. His natural immunity- all souls have a natural immunity against regular outside influences- is working hard to repel the equivalence of chronic bronchitis.”

“There’s… no way to help him?”

“I never said that,” Danny tilted his head. “Bring your brother to meet Danny. He could probably handle it.”

“The civilian?”

“His parents hunted my kind, once. He helped protect me and my people. If anyone knows how to cure it, it would be him.”

Phantom could not afford to deal with this right now, because Danny had a presentation tomorrow that he needed to finish.

“Oh. Thank you, Phantom.” Nightwing said, looking relieved and pensive. Danny decided right then and there that was Future Danny’s problem.

Danny nodded distractedly, blinking out.

He blinked back in. Nightwing jerked back. “Do you happen to have any examples of corrupt politicians in Gotham?”

Nightwing blinked before laughing. “It’d probably be easier to name the ones that aren’t.”

“Good to know. Thank you!”

——

A couple of days later, Tim and two older guys ambushed him in the quad.

“Hi! I’m Dick! This is my brother Jason! We’re Tim’s older brothers!”

Danny looked down at his hand- trapped in an overexcited handshake- and back up at Dick.

Whatever expression he was making, it must have been ha-fucking-larious because Tim and Jason burst out into laughter. Danny cursed his past self.

“Yeah?” Danny blinked. Wait. His smile grew and he made a face like he just realized something. “Oh. So you’re Nightwing?”

The laughter cut off.

“Haha, what?”

“Phantom told me you’d be coming but I, uh, thought you’d be in gear. Not… straight up telling me who you are?”

“You’re in regular contact with Phantom?” Tim demanded.

“Yeah, dude. After you- wait, you’re Red Robin!” Danny whispered.

“Oh shit, B’s gonna be pissed,” Jason drawled, looking mildly amused and hiding an extremely cautious, possibly lethal (if it weren’t for the fact that Danny’s pretty much impossible to kill with regular weapons) reaction.

“You’re one to talk. I’d smell your soul no matter what your disguise was.”

“…About that.”

——

You might be wondering: wouldn’t Dick know not to show up in civvies?

Yes. Except for the fact that Tim stalked Danny for weeks after he met Phantom and Danny hadn’t hung out with (himself) at all. They think Danny doesn’t know Phantom well enough to even talk to him much, despite being from the same town because: they’re all big city kids and have never experienced small town solidarity and, more importantly, gossip grapevines + they have no idea these two are the same people.

A deleted scene:

“When did you have time to talk to Phantom?” Tim demanded. Jason nudged Tim. That had hinted too much at what Tim was doing on his off hours and stalking was usually frowned upon.

“When I wasn’t talking to you, duh.”

[lulunothulu]

“Not the leash”

Tyler Owens x Boone x Reader

Inspired by this post bc it was hilarious and I had to write it 😂 so thank you @gibbysoup 💗

Also for the sake of this fic, what happened between him and Kate happened to you instead.

Contents: fluff, silliness

You were sitting in the back of Tyler’s truck, waiting for him and the rest of the Tornado Wranglers to come out of the gas station where they were grabbing breakfast. To your left, Javi and Kate were arguing about whether or not they should go to the east or west and you couldn’t help but smile.

It’s been about a week since Tyler invited you all to go storm chasing with him and the rest of his crew and you’d finally agreed but only of Kate were to choose the tornado.

The shouts and laughter coming from behind you told you that the Tornado Wranglers were done paying for their food so you turned around to greet them.

Only, you were met with a frowning Boone and a laughing crew behind him.

“What’s wrong Boonie?” You ask.

“Look at what these assholes got me,” he starts, turning around with a huff.

You have to slap your hand over your mouth to keep from laughing because on his back sits a cute little brown monkey backpack.

“But it’s so cute,” you try cheering him up.

“Just wait,” he tells you, waving Tyler over.

Tyler flashes a smile up at you before reaching into the monkey backpack and pulling out a leash.

“Oh my god,” you laugh. “Not the leash.”

“THEY’VE CHAINED ME, Y/N!” Boone cries out. “They don’t want to see me thrive!”

“Boone, we’ve lost you four times in a crowd in the span of an hour yesterday!” Lilly tries to reason.

“This was the best way to keep you close,” Dexter adds.

“No,” Boone says, shaking his head dramatically. “You did it to keep me on the ground. I was meant to soar in the air!”

“You don’t have wings, Boone,” Tyler interrupts.

“I was meant to socialize with our fans, to live!” Boone goes on. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Stay close?” You suggest.

Boone whirls around to face you, hurt painted all over his face. “HOW DARE YOU, Y/N! LET ME ROAM FREE!”

Tyler only shakes his head and passes the leash to Lilly who smiles and pulls Boone to the other truck. “C’mon, bird boy. Let’s get in the truck.”

Tyler walks up to where you’re now standing, waiting for him to help you off the truck bed. He grabs your waist before helping you off the truck.

“Did you have to leash him?” You ask when your feet hit the ground.

“He was getting lost! And after I left to go get you, he felt…abandoned.” He tells you. “Besides, now I have a reason to use the backpack.”

“You’re terrible Tyler Owens,” you laugh.

“You love me.”

[eufezco]

A SEASHORE CONFESSION — FINNICK ODAIR X FEM!TRIBUTE!READER

SYNOPSIS ― Finnick opens up about his feelings for the first time in the arena of the Quarter Quell.

It was relaxing to watch him play with the spike on the seashore. He used his hands to move the weapon with such a delicacy and fluidity. His gaze was lost, what would he be thinking about? The waves crashed against his feet like they did back home. Would he be thinking of that? On how he missed home? You missed District 4 as well, living in the victor's village, going for walks to the beach, and lying on the sand watching the sun disappear into the sea. Just like you were doing now, the difference was that that same day you were almost killed by the toxic gas and devoured by monkeys. That felt nothing like home except for Finnick.

You were sitting on the sand, separated from the group and admiring him. He had always been your friend, you had always admired Finnick from the distance. You were hugging your knees against your chest when he turned his face to look at you and you looked away ashamed that he had caught. Finnick smiled and walked towards you. He sat next to you, leaving his spike at his side and his arms holding his knees against his chest.

You were still looking away.

―How are you feeling? ―He asked. The idea of returning to the arena had not pleased you and he knew about it.

―Finnick. ―You ran to him, hiding your face in his chest. ―I can't do this, I can't do it again.

―Yes you can. It's okay, you're gonna be okay I promise you. ―He held your head against his chest. His own heart was beating so fast, the news had also shocked him. He liked the life he had with you, he did not want this either. ―Look at me, look at me. I'm not letting anything happen to you. You'll be fine.

―I'm okay I guess. Too much has happened today. The monkeys were pretty scary. —You draw shapes on the sand. Still not daring to make eye contact with him.

—I agree with that.

You both remained silent for a moment. Finnick was admiring the sunset and you were busy finishing your drawing in the sand. You could hear Katniss and Peeta talking in the distance.

—I saw you looking at me.

—I know you did.

—I look at you the same way when you don't notice.

You turned your head to look at him and Finnick pressed his lips together and smiled. Now it was him who looked away, embarrased.

—I'm sure it is not in the same way, Finnick.

You moved closer to him so you could rest your head on his shoulder. When you did, Finnick planted a soft kiss on your forehead. You never asked him for anything more because you didn't think it'd be fair for him. A better life awaited him in the Capitol. He was destined for much more than walking on the beach in District 4 with you.

Finnick used one of his hands to pinch your chin and lift your head from his shoulder. With his fingers still holding you and with a look of wonder on your face, he kissed you. His lips only connected with yours for a few seconds until he broke the kiss to see your reaction. The voices of your allies also went silent, waiting to see what your reaction would be.

—Are you doing this because they're watching? —You mumbled soft enough to know that no camera could hear you.

Finnick shook his head, his eyes moving to your from your lips.— Why would I do that? They already have Katniss and Peeta.

You remained silent. Your gaze moved between his lips and his eyes, trying to analyze his face but by this time there was nothing about him that you hadn't spent hours admiring. His mouth did not lie to you, much less his bright green eyes that were still waiting for a sign of approval from you.

—Why here, Finnick?

—Because I'm afraid of losing you I guess. —Finnick focused on your lips, opening up like that, and looking directly into your eyes felt too intimate. Back home you were safe but now anything at any moment could take you away from him. Perhaps Finnick had underestimated his feelings for you. Maybe taking you for granted had made him not appreciate enough how he truly felt.

—You guess? —You were not afraid of the intimacy that Finnick refused. You had been craving for it for a long time but you knew how the Capitol had screwed up the way he interacted romantically with other people, so you never wanted to put pressure on him.

His lower lip trembled and his voice sounded weak as he said it. His eyes looked at you, filled with tears. —Because I'm afraid of losing you.

You flashed him a little smile and cupped one of his cheeks. With that gesture, you thanked him for opening up and felt guilty for not having let him do it sooner. Before you were put into the arena it had all been about you and the fear you had of going through the same thing that you went through less than three years ago. You did not stop to ask him how he felt and Finnick didn't consider his feelings, not when you had panic attacks every night before you were thrown into the arena.

—Can I kiss you again? Please?

—Now you're asking?

You made him laugh, but immediately after, his lips were on yours again. It was a soft and delicate kiss yet Finnick's lips were moving intensely, almost in desperation, as if he wanted to get everything that he had not dared to claim in District 4, as if to make up for lost time in the few minutes you would be sitting on the sand.

my requests are open for the hunger games 📥

[epione-xx]

LOVER <3

Just a cute little fluff about a boy, a girl and a Mercedes in the night listening to Taylor swift and day dreaming

——————————————————————————

His hand laid on your plush and warm thigh, the city’s street lights casting shadows over various items but when Damian drove past them, you could see his tiny smile, how his eyes glistened and how they shined like emeralds.

Taylor swifts ‘lover’ was playing in the foreground as he drove, no words were spoken as a comfortable smile silence fell over you both. He squeezed your thigh again and turned the corner.

Drives like this had no purpose, you guys had no where to go- in fact you should have been tucked into bed long ago, but when your boyfriend calls and offers to take you out in his cool car, you accept.

The car in question was a Mercedes AMG E63, in a midnight black colour and with the street lights shining on it, it almost looking like a galaxy had enveloped the car. The interior was all leather- “easier to clean” Damian would claim but you knew he never really bothered to clean his seats unless well, unless something…else, had happened.

Your side was prettied up too, well kind of. He had put in a better mirror and you had all your little sweets in the glove box along with spare womanly panties- yknow, just in case…things…happened.

You were in a trance, your head pulled to the side a little as day dreams flooded into your mind of him, suddenly you felt another though squeeze and a soft “beloved?”

You snapped out of your trance again and blinked awake “shit, sorry…was I in a trance again?” Your eyes squint as you looked at him in the dark and notice the lines of his crinkled nose as he smiles

“Yeah, you were” he smiles and you could only smile back as she slowly laced your fingers together, still on top of your thigh.

“I love you Damian” you say finally after a nice moment of silence.

“And I you, beloved.”

Your stomach was warm and tingly, your heart full as you pulled Damian’s hands to your lips and then let it lay back down on your thigh, the back of his hand touched your thigh and you traced over his palm.

Each line and scar told a story, you could remember going to the palm reader with him once, remember how she said that “he would live a long and happy life with the love of his life” and you could remember that being a key moment in your relationship, the moment where Damian let his walls come down around you. The moment he trusted you with his heart.

You remember when his couldn’t hold anything for weeks because of when his hand got slashed by a villains knife, how you had to do everything for him and walk on his left side- which he hates because you were closer to the road, and how he panicked about any little car that passed you both because what if it was some maniac who could have hit you?!

The song changed, the one upbeat and happy song now turned into a low strum of a bass as arctic monkeys played- a Damian pick surprisingly.

He chuckles a little as he looked over at you “remember the last time this song played?” He asks with a raised brow as his hand crawled up your thigh.

You flushed thinking about it and coughed a little “yeah, that was a good time” you said as he nods and stroked the inside of your thigh.

You pinched his hand lightly and he gave you the biggest hurt puppy eyes, because even if he was a superhero, his dear beloved hurting him? It was his greatest weakness!

You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out just as Damian reached a red light.

“Don’t do that beloved” his husky voice said. The light still red and reflecting in his iris, he leaned forward and kissed you, biting your tongue lightly as you let out a soft moan, feeling his hands go high and high and then-

Green.

You cursed traffic control, the light itself for even working! How dare they do this to you! He smirked at your reaction but pulled away as he pressed on the gas again and drove off.

You pout, brushing his warm hand against your own heat so that he would begin again, but he didn’t, only smirked knowing that you would get him back when you got home and send him some pictures in that pretty little white set you owned that made you looked like an angel.

After all, if it was 40 minutes or 7 hours, Damian would always be at your door ready for you, using his rich boy privilege to give you the best life he ever could.

The ring box in his pocket was only another promise of that vowel he made to himself.

[yopossum]

HOME - Dietergesis

Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist - AO3

Rating: M (mild angst, recovery, non-explicit lusty D)

Warnings: 18+!! References to substance abuse, sobriety, self-doubt, latent and ever-present horniness, Grady motherfucking Fletcher, Dieter and his little treats, rogue chihuahua, pole/exotic dance, dubious La Croix flavors, Ariana Grande

Dieter was disappointed to discover that he felt like hungover hot garbage every morning despite having gotten completely sober many months before.

He was also surprised to realize his brain still shut down for the night around 10 PM without the aid of any illicit substances, mostly blacking out any new information inputted or memories made, although the nights now mainly consisted of eating KitKats and pints of Ben and Jerry’s in bed while watching Jessica Fletcher solve every murder in Cabot Cove, America’s deadliest city, and then, usually, spiraling for a bit.

Today, just out of his memory’s reach was a recollection of the previous evening’s lamentations, during which he’d cried around his spoon and wiped snotty tears into his raggedy bathrobe sleeve, rocking himself back and forth under the covers while he sobbed.

Oh God, oh fuck, *I’m* Grady! I’M GRADY! I’m a fuck-up. I can’t do anything right. Help meeeee Aunt Jessica-ha-ha-haaaaaaa……

All in all, a typical Saturday night. And though the details were fuzzy, Dieter knew himself well enough to assume he’d had another rough go of it, which was why he was up with the sun, feeling like shit after fitful sleep full of gas pains and nightmares of haunted typewriters and bicycle accidents.

He’d taken to spending his frequent early mornings wandering the surrounding neighborhood. He’d moved into a small sober living group home on the east side earlier that year, needing a stable place to recover and not yet having the presence of mind to navigate the Santa Barbara housing market. Getting out of LA had been a necessary evil, he’d thought at the time. As he meandered down Milpas, bathrobe pocket stuffed with a half-eaten concha and one bejeweled hand holding a chipped mug of sickly-sweet coffee, he found he didn’t miss Hollywood at all. Virtually nobody, save the recovery house staff and panaderia employees, paid him any attention, and Dieter loved it.

*

That morning there was no sun to speak of, which was fine. “That’s June Gloom for you!” laughed every single local every single time the sky refused to blue which was every single day of the month. “May Gray” had prepared him for these exchanges, and now Dieter chuckled appreciatively each time like he’d never heard of such a thing. Acting. Still got it, Bravo.

Midway through his stroll, Dieter stopped into Chapala Market to grab some Gansitos and a packet of Gas-X, which he palmed and slapped into his open mouth, muscle memory. As he went to tear the foil from his snack cake, some sort of chihuahua/eldritch horror mix darted out into the road at the corner, right where he made his usual loop back to the recovery house. Dieter dared to wave at it, stepping forward, and it snarled furiously. Caught off guard, he flew back into a wide stance and threw his arms out defensively, waving them around like a violent inflatable tube man, yelping a sharp “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

The creature frothed, fueled by blood-lust and audacity. The world slowed in his momentary panic and Dieter considered his options. Fight the dog? No, not again. Never again. Call for help? The only other person he could see was the regular frutero across the street, setting up his cart for the day. Nowhere to hide. Should he…run? Dieter quickly realized that a hard-ridden Crocs-and-jammies-wearing middle-aged insomniac with a long-suffering frontal lobe wasn’t prepared to run anywhere today. “You’re lucky, this time,” he said to the animal(?), looking down over the tops of his sunglasses. The ghost of last night’s ice cream gurgled in his belly. “You know, I’m a bit of a chunky monkey myself,” he added in his best Willem Dafoe, before turning down a short side street he’d never explored before.

*

Dieter was licking strawberry jelly out of his rings when he heard a slow, seductive melody slinking down the otherwise empty block. Intrigued, he followed his ears (and, to be honest, his hopelessly optimistic dick) down the cracked, uneven pavement until he came to a wide corrugated metal gate, pastel painted with a cartoony winged heart. He tongued at some chocolate stuck in a molar and stared at the source of the sound, confused and curious, when the gate suddenly dragged open with a grinding squeal. Two stunning, sweaty women in hot pants and sports bras appeared in front of him.

“Hi,” he said, eyes wide behind his sunglasses. He wiggled his fingers in greeting, frozen briefly to the spot. The women shot him tandem smiles.

He took off his glasses and pocketed them alongside the concha crumbs. His eyebrows arced to his hairline in question and he leaned slightly towards the glistening ponytailed strangers. “I was wondering if you could help me with something,” he said, bringing his hands together and forward in a casual plea, pointing the tips of his fingers in the direction the women had just come from. “Where am I?”

If they recognized him, neither mentioned it. “Hi! This is the right place. First class?” grinned the one closest to him, a bit breathless. “I couldn’t find it at first either, it’s a weird little spot.”

The second took a swig from her water bottle and chimed in. “Was the gate stuck? You gotta really yank it. I mean, ha!” She flushed. “I’m so sorry, oh my gosh. That last combo was so sexy I think it scrambled my brain a little.”

“Right?!” echoed the first. “And crazy hard! Look at me, I’m dripping. Ohmygodddd, not what I meant!” She put her hands over her own blushing face and cackled.

“Amazing,” replied Dieter.

The women continued to laugh loudly as they passed him on either side, calling back, “Have fun!” He peered through the gate at a small industrial building, partially-open garage door along the wall revealing a shadowy purple studio, mirrored walls reflecting softly strobing spotlights. Ambient, sultry music pulsed in the background. This is creepy… but I like it.

Dieter willed himself to move, hesitant to intrude but suddenly thrumming with something akin to a nervous, bubbling excitement, like he’d just shotgunned a can of arousal-and-pamplemousse La Croix. He hiked up his pajama pants and crouched to peer underneath the garage door, seeing the bases of a dozen metal poles and several pairs of socked feet and bare legs.

“Happy Sunday! Let’s start warming up while everybody trickles in,” came a voice from inside. “Another gloomy June morning, right? I’m gonna have to make this spray tan last.” One of the pairs of feet moved to the front central pole and shucked off a pair of sweatpants. “Go ahead and wipe down your poles, grab some knee pads. Just gotta get my music going…”

Ariana Grande’s “Dangerous Woman” began to ooze from a speaker. Dieter was powerless against it. Drawn like a horny moth to a whistle-note flame, he let his body be pulled by an invisible leash (kinky!) toward the open door, a slow smile crawling all the way up to crinkle his heavy-lidded eyes, hips swaying languidly of their own accord as he sauntered inside.

[coolheadofficial]

Once you've learned to correctly pronounce every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world

Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche! Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough -- Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!!

[astrojulia]

To All my Air Placements People

-Or for those who have already read "just feel"

One thing that really bothers me about the astrological community is their relationship with emotions and those who identify as "air people." As an Aquarius dominant, I try to absorb the best of every word, situation, and perspective, as it is my nature to see reason and to consider things from multiple points of view. I don't see a problem with using words like "manipulative," and I'm not particularly concerned with being politically correct.

However, one issue I can't ignore is the way that air moons and people are often described as having difficulty feeling emotions. The common refrain is, "You don't feel, you just think." This creates a lot of subtext, such as "You should just feel and not think," "How will you survive when you realize you can only feel and not think," and "You overthink and don't feel."

I know that this kind of post may not be popular, as people tend to prefer direct solutions rather than philosophical discussions. Additionally, many people become overly attached to astrology, which I don't quite understand, as someone who practices greco roman paganism and views the stars as simply giant balls in space guided by the Gods. However, my goal is to help air people who may be feeling bad due to these descriptions and depreciating themselves unnecessarily. I want to provide them with the tools to live their lives in their own way, without relying too heavily on astrology. If possible, I also hope to change the mentality of the astrological community regarding air people. Or maybe I just want to help myself, who knows?

In this post, I will use my knowledge and concepts to explain why the concept of feeling can be misunderstood, how air people experience emotions, and, most importantly, how to work with your feelings.

Have you ever questioned how emotions work and why we experience them differently in different situations? Fortunately, neuroscientist Lisa Feldman has been working for 25 years to explore these questions, and her book "How Emotions Are Made" provides a scientific way to understand how our bodies process emotions. I will explain the main ideas in a summarized way.

While the amygdala is often regarded as the brain's emotional center, it is not the only part of the brain responsible for emotions. In fact, emotions are not solely processed in the brain, but throughout our whole body via neurons. Studies on monkeys who had their amygdalas removed showed that they temporarily lost the ability to feel fear, but eventually regained it. This suggests that our emotions are not simply regulated by a specific part of the brain.

Instead, emotions are processed when neurons in our body are activated and send signals to our brain. Our brain then processes these signals to determine what the emotion is and how we should respond. For example, the smell of a bakery may cause our mouth to water and make us feel hungry, while waiting in a surgery waiting room may cause us to feel anxious and lose our appetite. Physiologically, both situations trigger the same neurons, but the emotional response is different because our brain takes into account the context.

In other words, our emotions are not simply a reaction to stimuli but are influenced by our environment and our own interpretation of the situation. By understanding how emotions are made, we can gain a better understanding of ourselves and how we respond to different situations.

Drawing upon my esoteric knowledge and delving deeper into the data, have you ever wondered how neurons "communicate" and signal to the body that something is happening? The answer lies in the air. Yes, the gas we breathe in is linked to our emotions. It travels to our brains and is processed in a way that best suits the situation. Interestingly, people with different elemental signs have their own unique ways of dealing with air, which means that the gas they expel is processed differently. However, some may argue that water is the element that deals with emotions. While this may seem like an esoteric concept, I have my own explanation for it.

Neurons are present throughout our body, and the part that is referred to as our second brain is our viscera, especially our stomach, which is ruled by Cancer. Our hormones also play a crucial role in our emotions. It is a well-known fact that we don't think clearly when we are aroused, and our reproductive system, which is ruled by Scorpio, produces a significant portion of our hormones. Our feet also have a plethora of neurons connected to our emotional world, and they are ruled by Pisces. Therefore, water signs are adept at managing their emotions as they work well with this part of the body and process their feelings more quickly. Furthermore, in astrology water rules the emotions, in others studies it can be the air, or even the water rules the material.

Let's delve deeper into the subject and discuss our emotions in more detail. We need to think about them, even if it's just for a second, before we can truly feel them. While this may come naturally to us, it is something we learn as we grow older. When information is transmitted to the brain, the first thing it does is to search for a similar sensation or situation from the past to determine the appropriate response. To demonstrate this, take a look at the picture and try to see something. Then, check out the next one…

Pulling for my esoteric part and exploring more data, you know how the neurons “move” and say to the body that something is happening? By gas. Yes, air. Our emotion is linked with air, that gas goes to our brains and it will be processed in the best way for the situation, and air people have their unique way to deal with air, so that gas that is expelled will be worked in a completely different way for the air people than all the others. But is it not water who deals with emotion? Esoteric saying, yes, but I have my own explanation for that…

Neurons are on our whole body, and the part that is called our second brain are our viscera, principally our stomach, ruled by Cancer. Our hormones work a lot with our brain, and everyone knows how we don’t think too well when we are aroused. The part that produces a great part of our hormones is our reproductive system, ruled by Scorpio. Have you ever seen the amount of techniques focused on stress and negative emotions on our feet? From massages and acupuncture, our foot has a ton of neurons connected to our emotional world, and it is ruled by Pisces. So why are water people good with their emotions? Because they work well with that part of the body, they sign rules and process their feelings quicker, but do that better with their specific part.

Now we can go a little deeper in the subject and talk in more detail with our feelings. We need to think about them, even for a second, before really feeling, but that should be easy for everyone because it is natural and born with that… Yes, it is natural but we aren't born with that… We learn how to feel as we age. When the information goes to the brain the first thing it does is to search for the same sensation and the same situation in the past to know what to do. I can give you an example of how we actually just work with things, with our memory and prediction of what is going on. Look at the pic and try to see something, after that click in the link and I will heal your little problem:

Now that you've seen it, you can't unsee it. The black and white one will make sense now. This is how emotions work: we need to experience a situation to truly understand it. Emotions are complex and we often need to go through a situation more than once to really comprehend what's going on. However, if you put an air person in an environment they already know, they won't have a problem with their emotions.

Now that I've explained how we misunderstand emotions and how they actually work, I'm going to share my knowledge to help my fellow air signs in the best way possible. This is what I've learned to become the best version of myself.

When we feel something, our system works like this: we feel a sensation in our chest, and that information goes to our brain, which tries to put a word to that sensation. Once we find the best word to describe the sensation, it goes back to the area to check if it's accurate. If it's not, the process repeats until we find the best description. So, how do I work with this? I have a lot of emotion names in my memory, so I don't waste time explaining how I feel. Yes, I feel a lot (Pisces Jupiter, Scorpio Mars..), but no, I don't feel the same way as you. Allow me to introduce you:

The Wheel of Emotions

Yes, that is how I do my s***, I take some time in my life to see that wheel and verify what I was feeling in that moment, how I can improve myself, and knowing that I’m not such a bad person, I’m giving you more than 80 feelings explanation here, hope you like. You can see that the main feeling connect with each other.

Fear: an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight); an anxious feeling; a feeling of profound respect for someone or something.

Horror: intense and profound fear; something that inspires dislike; something horrible; intense aversion

Dread: fearful expectation or anticipation; be afraid or scared of; be frightened of; causing fear or dread or terror

Mortified: suffering from tissue death; made to feel uncomfortable because of shame or wounded pride

Nervous: of or relating to the nervous system; easily agitated; causing or fraught with or showing anxiety

Anxious: eagerly desirous; causing or fraught with or showing anxiety

Worried: afflicted with or marked by anxious uneasiness or trouble or grief; mentally upset over possible misfortune or danger etc

Insecure: not firm or firmly fixed; likely to fail or give way; lacking in security or safety; lacking self-confidence or assurance

Inadequate: lacking the requisite qualities or resources to meet a task; not sufficient to meet a need, not welcome

Inferior: one of lesser rank or station or quality; a character or symbol set or printed or written beneath or slightly below and to the side of another character; of or characteristic of low rank or importance

Terror: an overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety; a person who inspires fear or dread; a very troublesome child

Hysterical: characterized by or arising from psychoneurotic hysteria; marked by excessive or uncontrollable emotion

Panic: an overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety; sudden mass fear and anxiety over anticipated events; be overcome by a sudden fear

Scared: made afraid

Helpless: lacking in or deprived of strength or power; unable to function; without help; unable to manage independently

Frightened: made afraid; thrown into a state of intense fear or desperation

Love: a strong positive emotion of regard and affection any object of warm affection or devotion a beloved person used as terms of endearment.

Tenderness: a tendency to express warm and affectionate feeling; a pain that is felt (as when the area is touched); warm compassionate feelings

Compassionate: share the suffering of; showing or having compassion

Caring: a loving feeling; feeling and exhibiting concern and empathy for others

Peaceful: not disturbed by strife or turmoil or war; peacefully resistant in response to injustice

Satisfied: filled with satisfaction; allayed

Relieved: (of pain or sorrow) made easier to bear; extending out above or beyond a surface or boundary

Desire: the feeling that accompanies an unsatisfied state; an inclination to want things; something that is desired

Infatuation: a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration; temporary love of an adolescent; an object of extravagant short-lived passion

Passion: a strong feeling or emotion; the trait of being intensely emotional; something that is desired intensely

Longing: prolonged unfulfilled desire or need

Attracted: direct toward itself or oneself by means of some psychological power or physical attributes; be attractive to; exert a force on (a body) causing it to approach or prevent it from moving away

Sentimental: given to or marked by sentiment or sentimentality; effusively or insincerely emotional

Affectionate: having or displaying warmth or affection

Fondness: affection or liking for someone or something

Romantic: conducive to or characterized by the expression of love; of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality; person with romantic beliefs or attitudes.

Joy: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness rejoice

Enthralled: capture the fascinated attention of

Rapture: a feeling of intense pleasure or joy; a state of being carried away by overwhelming emotion; a state of elated bliss

Enchanted: influenced as by charms or incantations

Elation: an exhilarating psychological state of pride and optimism; an absence of depression; a feeling of joy and pride

Jubilation: a feeling of extreme joy; a joyful occasion for special festivities to mark some happy event; the utterance of sounds expressing great joy

Euphoric: exaggerated feeling of well-being or elation

Enthusiastic: having or showing great excitement and interest

Zeal: a feeling of strong eagerness (usually in favor of a person or cause); excessive fervor to do something or accomplish some end; prompt willingness

Excited: in an aroused state; (of persons) excessively affected by emotion; marked by uncontrolled excitement or emotion

Optimist: a person disposed to take a favorable view of things

Hopeful: an ambitious and aspiring young person; having or manifesting hope; full or promise

Eager: a high wave (often dangerous) caused by tidal flow (as by colliding tidal currents or in a narrow estuary); having or showing keen interest or intense desire or impatient expectancy

Proud: feeling self-respect or pleasure in something by which you measure your self-worth; or being a reason for pride; having or displaying great dignity or nobility

Illustrious: widely known and esteemed; having or conferring glory

Triumphant: joyful and proud especially because of triumph or success; experiencing triumph

Cheerful: being full of or promoting cheer; having or showing good spirits; pleasantly (even unrealistically) optimistic

Jovial: full of or showing high-spirited merriment

Blissful: completely happy and contented

Happy: enjoying or showing or marked by joy or pleasure; marked by good fortune; eagerly disposed to act or to be of service

Amused: pleasantly occupied

Delighted: greatly pleased; filled with wonder and delight

Content: being pleased and satisfied (feeling content) or making someone else feel happy and at peace with things (contenting them)

Pleased: experiencing or manifesting pleasure; feeling pleasurable satisfaction over something by which you measures your self-worth

Satisfied: filled with satisfaction; allayed

Surprise: the astonishment you feel when something totally unexpected happens to you a sudden unexpected event the act of surprising someone

Moved: being excited or provoked to the expression of an emotion

Stimulated: emotionally aroused

Touched: having come into contact; being excited or provoked to the expression of an emotion; slightly insane

Overcome: To feel something very strongly. It is usually used in a positive way

Speechless: temporarily incapable of speaking

Astounded: filled with the emotional impact of overwhelming surprise or shock

Amazed: feeling or showing great surprise or wonder

Astonished: surprised, amazed, astonished or bewildered

Awe-Struck: filled with feelings of fear and wonder: filled with awe

Confused: mentally confused; unable to think with clarity or act intelligently; perplexed by many conflicting situations or statements; filled with bewilderment; lacking orderly continuity

Disillusioned: freed from illusion

Perplexed: full of difficulty or confusion or bewilderment

Stunned: filled with the emotional impact of overwhelming surprise or shock; knocked unconscious by a heavy blow; in a state of mental numbness especially as resulting from shock

Shocked: struck with fear, dread, or consternation

Dismayed: cause (someone) to feel consternation and distress; to cause to lose courage or resolution (as because of alarm or fear) must not let ourselves be dismayed by the task before us; upset, perturb were dismayed by the condition of the building

Sadness: emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being the state of being sad the quality of excessive mournfulness and uncheerfulness

Despair: a state in which all hope is lost or absent; the feeling that everything is wrong and nothing will turn out well; abandon hope; give up hope; lose heart

Grief: intense sorrow caused by loss of a loved one (especially by death); something that causes great unhappiness

Powerless: lacking power; impotent

Neglected: disregarded; lacking a caretaker

Isolated: not close together in time; being or feeling set or kept apart from others

Lonely: lacking companions or companionship; marked by dejection from being alone; characterized by or preferring solitude

Shameful: (used of conduct or character) deserving or bringing disgrace or shame; giving offense to moral sensibilities and injurious to reputation

Regretful: feeling or expressing regret or sorrow or a sense of loss over something done or undone

Guilty: responsible for or chargeable with a reprehensible act; showing a sense of guilt

Disappointed: disappointingly unsuccessful; sad or displeased because someone or something has failed to fulfill one’s hopes or expectations

Dismayed: struck with fear, dread, or consternation

Displeased: not pleased; experiencing or manifesting displeasure

Sadness: emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being; the state of being sad; the quality of excessive mournfulness and uncheerfulness

Depressed: filled with melancholy and despondency; in a state of general unhappiness or despondency

Sorrow: an emotion of great sadness associated with loss or bereavement; sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment; something that causes great unhappiness

Suffering: a state of acute pain; misery resulting from affliction; psychological suffering

Agony: intense feelings of suffering; acute mental or physical pain; a state of acute pain

Hurt: any physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture etc; psychological suffering; feelings of mental or physical pain

Anger: a strong emotion a feeling that is oriented toward some real or supposed grievance the state of being angry belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong (personified as one of the deadly sins.)

Disgust: strong feelings of dislike; fill with distaste; cause aversion in; offend the moral sense of

Contempt: lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike; a manner that is generally disrespectful and contemptuous; open disrespect for a person or thing

Revolted: to turn away with disgust. transitive verb.: to cause to turn away or shrink with disgust or abhorrence; to experience disgust or shock

Envy: a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something that is possessed by another; spite and resentment at seeing the success of another (personified as one of the deadly sins); feel envious towards; admire enviously

Resentful: full of or marked by resentment or indignant ill will

Jealous: showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; suspicious or unduly suspicious or fearful of being displaced by a rival

Irritable: easily irritated or annoyed; abnormally sensitive to a stimulus; capable of responding to stimuli

Aggravated: made more severe or intense especially in law; incited, especially deliberately, to anger

Annoyed: aroused to impatience or anger; troubled persistently especially with petty annoyances

Exasperated: greatly annoyed; out of patience

Frustrated: disappointingly unsuccessful

Agitated: troubled emotionally and usually deeply; physically disturbed or set in motion

Rage: a feeling of intense anger; a state of extreme anger; something that is desired intensely

Hostile: don’t want to talk to people, be around them, or even have them near us

Hate: the emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action; dislike intensely; feel antipathy or aversion towards

And now we’re done, my biggest goal in this post as I already wrote, is to chance that point of view of the air people, but the most important part is to take off that bad sensation from you chest, my air fellow, that I feel and know that existent every time you read that you’re emotionless and don’t now how to feel the things in the right way. Thank you for your and kisses from the sea.

[hesterias]

I don’t even know where to begin with tonight. I told myself I wasn’t gonna go on and write a post, but I’ve had one of the best nights of my life and if I don’t articulate it, I may actually explode. We started queueing for GA floor at around 1:30pm and there were about 450 people in front of us, so I thought there was no way we would get to be in the front. Well, fast forward to 8pm and we were third row. We just booked it as soon as doors opened, and it was the best decision. The monkeys were so close 🥹

Fontaines DC opened and god, what an amazing show they put on. Such energy. Loved them. (I didn’t capture any videos or pictures of that, but I did capture Davey!)

Then the monkeys came on with Sculptures and it was truly BEAUTIFUL. Surreal. Alex, glorious motherfucker he is, started singing and I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts. The whole venue was deafening with how many people were screaming. That song live is… gorgeous. It was like being in a film, and for a second, I truly thought 007 himself was gonna burst through the ceiling to save us all, and from somewhere a director was gonna yell “cut.”

Here’s a photo taken during Brainstorm (could literally smell him he was so close):

They played Crying Lightning, Fireside, and TBHC back to back and I could feel my soul elevating. The three songs I was hoping they’d play but never thought they would in one single gig, much less one after the other. My voice was already gone at this point, I was insane.

Loved the stage colors during TBHC 😍

Arabella was amazing live. Alex even pointed to his little boots while he sang she’s got some interstellar gator skin boots, what a precious babe. Will attach video in a separate post. I wish Tumblr let me attach multiple videos in one post.

Someone brought a Dr. Simi dressed as a 🪩 and threw it at Alex during TBBAM 😭🤣 Iconic.

But my favorite part of the night has to be during IBYLGOTDF 😭 Alex was singing and made eye contact with me at one point, and my high 🚬 ass pointed at him as I sang 🫵🏼 I bet YOU look good on the dance floor 🫵🏼 and then he pointed back at me and scrunched his face in a playful 😠 way while singing, and then I mouthed oh OKAY 🤔🤨🫵🏼 and he nodded his head and mouthed yeah, yeah 🧐🫱🏻 or something like that. Dork, I truly had no fucking clue what that was about but I believe we came to a mutual neuro understanding 🤣 Apparently I have game when I’m high. Or delusion. Or both. Wish I had a video of that!

Oh and he dedicated DIWK to Amelia 🥺❤️

Ooof. Still riding that high, the whole day was spectacular. Brought my dad with me cause he’s a big AM fan and we’d never gone to a concert together, so it was truly special. They sound amazing. Alex looks even more ethereal in person, which I’m not surprised about. Babygirl is gorgeous. Anyway, life = made 🐒

[legend-collection]

Kappa

A kappa is a reptiloid kami with similarities to yōkai found in traditional Japanese folklore. Kappa can become harmful when they are not respected as gods. They are typically depicted as green, human-like beings with webbed hands and feet and turtle-like carapaces on their backs. A depression on its head, called its "dish" (sara), retains water, and if this is damaged or its liquid is lost (either through spilling or drying up), the kappa is severely weakened.

Pic by Duncan Hopkins

The kappa are known to favor cucumbers and love to engage in sumo wrestling. They are often accused of assaulting humans in water and removing a mythical organ called the shirikodama from their victim's anus.

The name kappa is a contraction of the words kawa (river) and wappa, a variant form of 童 warawa (also warabe) "child". Another translation of kappa is "water sprites". The kappa are also known regionally by at least eighty other names such as kawappa, kawako, kawatarō, gawappa, kōgo, suitengu.

It is also called kawauso 'otter', dangame 'soft-shelled turtle', and enkō 'monkey', suggesting it outwardly resembles these animals. The name komahiki or "steed-puller" alludes to its reputed penchant to drag away horses.

The kappa has been known as kawako in Izumo (Shimane Prefecture) where Lafcadio Hearn was based, and gatarō was the familiar name of it to folklorist Kunio Yanagita from Hyōgo Prefecture.

Kappa are said to be roughly humanoid in form and about the size of a child, inhabiting the ponds and rivers of Japan. Clumsy on land, they are at home in the water, and thrive during the warm months. They are typically greenish in color (or yellow-blue), and either scaly or slimy skinned, with webbed hands and feet, and a turtle-like carapace on their back. Inhuman traits include three anuses that allow them to pass three times as much gas as humans. Despite their small stature they are physically stronger than a grown man.

The kappa are sometimes said to smell like fish, and they can swim like them.

According to some accounts, a kappa's arms are connected to each other through the torso and can slide from one side to the other. While they are primarily water creatures, they do on occasion venture onto land. When they do, the "dish" on their head can be covered with a metal cap for protection.

A hairy kappa is called a hyōsube.

Kappa are usually seen as kami of the water. Their actions are from comparatively minor misdemeanors, such as looking up women's kimono if they venture too near to water, to outright malevolence, such as drowning people and animals, kidnapping children, raping women and at times eating human flesh. Though sometimes menacing, they may also behave amicably towards humans. While younger kappa are frequently found in family groups, adult kappa live solitary lives. However, it is common for kappa to befriend other yōkai and sometimes even people.

Folk beliefs claim the cucumber as their traditional favorite meal. At festivals, offerings of cucumber are frequently made to the kappa. Sometimes the kappa is said to have other favorite foods, such as the Japanese eggplant, soba (buckwheat noodles), nattō (fermented soybeans), or kabocha (Japanese pumpkin).

In Edo (old Tokyo), there used to be a tradition where people would write the names of their family members on cucumbers and send them afloat into the streams to mollify the kappa and prevent the family from coming to harm in the streams. In some regions, it was customary to eat cucumbers before swimming as protection, but in others it was believed that this act would guarantee an attack.

A cucumber-filled sushi roll is known as a kappamaki.

As water monsters, kappa have been blamed for drownings, and are often said to try to lure people into water and pull them in with their great skill at wrestling. They are sometimes said to take their victims for the purpose of drinking their blood, eating their livers, or gaining power by taking their shirikodama, a mythical ball said to contain the soul, which is located inside the anus.

Kappa have been used to warn children of the dangers lurking in rivers and lakes, as kappa have been often said to try to lure people to water and pull them in. Even today, signs warning about kappa appear by bodies of water in some Japanese towns and villages.

Kappa are also said to victimize animals, especially horses and cows. The motif of the kappa trying to drown a horse is found all over Japan.

Lafcadio Hearn wrote of a story in Kawachimura near Matsue where a horse-stealing kappa was captured and made to write a sworn statement vowing never to harm people again.

In many versions the kappa is dragged by the horse to the stable where it is most vulnerable, and it is there it is forced to submit a writ of promise not to misbehave.

It was believed that there were a few means of escape if one was confronted with a kappa. Kappa are obsessed with politeness, so if a person makes a deep bow, it will return the gesture. This results in the kappa spilling the water held in the "dish" (sara) on its head, rendering it unable to leave the bowing position until the plate is refilled with water from the river in which it lives. If a person refills it, the kappa will serve that person for all eternity. A similar weakness of the kappa involves its arms, which can easily be pulled from its body. If an arm is detached, the kappa will perform favours or share knowledge in exchange for its return.

Another method of defeat involves shogi or sumo wrestling: a kappa sometimes challenges a human being to wrestle or engage in other tests of skill. This tendency is easily used to encourage the kappa to spill the water from its sara. One notable example of this method is the folktale of a farmer who promises his daughter's hand in marriage to a kappa in return for the creature irrigating his land. The farmer's daughter challenges the kappa to submerge several gourds in water. When the kappa fails in its task, it retreats, saving the farmer's daughter from the marriage. Kappa have also been driven away by their aversion to iron, sesame, or ginger.

Kappa are not entirely antagonistic to human beings.

Once befriended, kappa may perform any number of tasks for human beings, such as helping farmers irrigate their land. Sometimes, they bring fresh fish, which is regarded as a mark of good fortune for the family receiving it. They are also highly knowledgeable about medicine, and legend states that they taught the art of bone setting to human beings. There are also legends that Kappa will save a friendly human from drowning.

Along with the oni and the tengu, the kappa is among the best-known yōkai in Japan.

The kappa is known by various names of the creature vary by region and local folklore. In Shintō, they are often considered to be an avatar (keshin) of the Water Deity or suijin.

Shrines are dedicated to the worship of kappa as water deity in such places as Aomori Prefecture or Miyagi Prefecture. There were also festivals meant to placate the kappa in order to obtain a good harvest, some of which still take place today. These festivals generally took place during the two equinoxes of the year, when the kappa are said to travel from the rivers to the mountains and vice versa.

The best known place where it has been claimed Kappa reside is in the Kappabuchi  waters of Tōno in the Iwate Prefecture. The nearby Jōkenji  In Tōno, there is a Buddhist temple that has komainu dog statues with depressions on their heads reminiscent of the water-retaining dish on the kappa's heads, said to be dedicated to the kappa which according to legend helped extinguish a fire at the temple. The Kappa is also venerated at the Sogenji Buddhist temple in the Asakusa district of Tokyo where according to tradition, a mummified arm of a Kappa is enshrined within the chapel hall since 1818.

In his Tōno Monogatari, Kunio Yanagita records a number of beliefs from the Tōno area about women being accosted and even impregnated by kappa. Their offspring were said to be repulsive to behold, and were generally buried.

Similar folklore can be found in Asia and Europe. Like the Japanese description of the beast, in Chinese and in Scandinavian lore this beast is infamous for kidnapping and drowning people as well as horses.

The siyokoy of the Philippine islands is also known for kidnapping children by the water's edge.

A frog-face vodyanoy is known in Slavic mythology. A green human-like being named a vodník is widely known in western Slavic folklore and tales, especially in the Czech Republic or Slovakia.

In German mythology, a similar creature is known as Wassermann, Nix, or Nickel. They have been mentioned in connection with the larger rivers Elbe and Saale in the eastern part of Germany, but they are most widely connected to Lusatia in South-East Germany. This is not entirely surprising, as the area is not only close to Poland and Czech Republic, but also home to the Slavic minority of the Sorbs.

[lazodiac]

ONCE MORE, we delve into the plane of Thunder Junction, in our attempt to figuring out what each plane each card is from.

Last time we finished all the monocolour cards, and you can find all of those here. I'll also been including a villainy score for Oko's gang, to see how much they count as villains... and in retrospect wish I'd done that for all the legends, since this is a VILLAIN set. Call that a project for another day...

For now though, let us enter into the wild, wild world of...

MULTICOLOUR

We open off with a big one- Akul the Unrepentant! The main antagonist of the story, a PERFECT black-hat western villain- he is fierce and evil and SMART but also you can bait him with the right words and at the end of the day he's just a right bastard with a gun. An honestly pitch-perfect villain for a villain set.

The way his scorpion mandibles make a cowboy hat silhouette, his gun-stinger tail and his fire breathing claws, he is a perfect example of what a Scorpion Dragon is and how strongly it fits the aesthetic of the plane.

But we've been told all the Scorpion Dragons are from Gastal, an obscure plane from Urza's Planeswalker novel, so they're from Gastal. I hope we go there one day and learn what that plane is like beyond its very sparse appearance elsewhere.

Annie Flash! Our first member of Oko's gang to rob Akul! She's Atiin so from the Atiin Plane, and is the only Atiin that shows up in story. We learn from her stories that her people are still out there wandering, while some settled in Thunder Junction.

Among them her nephew, who Akul afflicted with tuberculosis with his stinger (it's some kind of dark curse but given how it is described it's absolutely TB, a fitting disease for the time period). He left to join his people, because staying in bed all day half asleep from medicine is worse than suffering while awake.

At any rate, she's retired to protect the town she's ended up in... and is threatened by Oko into helping take down Akul. On the villainy scale she is a fierce 0/10. I wish she'd just shot Oko in the head.

Annie Joins Up is one of a cycle- all of the major members of Oko's gaing gets little pieces like this. They're clearly part of one singular mural but we haven't been shown it and it makes me sad.

Given the context, I'm counting these cards as Thunder Junction original.

A strange, fascinating card, it's a sherrif's sterling silver star, radiating various creature spirits out of it. Given the form of magic at play I'm gonna say this is from Alara, since it resembles the Nacatl totem magic.

Hellspur Mercenaries holding, unfortunately, YOU at knifepoint. Good luck friend cause I'm out of here.

... okay I'll stay long enough to say it again; Hellspurs threw away all ties to their home planes to become dyed in the wool magma mutants. They're from Thunder Junction now. The predominance of glowing purple and dyed hair could imply these individuals are from Kylem, but I'm sticking to my thunder-guns here.

This is the only real indication that the cactus folk are "new" to the plane, despite having lived here for generations as non-sentient cacti. I don't really like this, but whatever. Native to Thunder Junction.

The Sterling Company's shiny leader, in the vampiric flesh. Given his style he's definitely from New Capenna. He doesn't show up in the story at all, but his presence is felt by the colonizing cops that he employs.

Big ol' Bonny Pall is our distaff counterpart to Paul Bunyan, the American lumberjack of old west mythology. She's even got a massive blue ox to help her out!

She's one of the giants from Eldraine, and if I could remember where I saw blue oxen on that plane I'd tell you to confirm it.

Everyone's favorite goblin-monkey, Breeches! A secondary member of Oko's gang, though in truth his loyalties lie with his captain, Vraska. His main goal in the story is blowing things up- as is his want- and showing us that he has more self control than Gisa does.

As far as villainy goes he's a soft 2/10. Nothing he does is inherently evil, the pirates of Ixalan (his home plane) are categorically the nicest faction present there, and ultimately he's only with Oko to help Vraska betray him.

Bruse Tarl! There's absolutely no reason he should be here in the villain set, but also he's a cattle rancher who is a fan favorite on a plane where ox and cattle are well known an aesthetic so of course he's here from Zendikar, having finally found some beasties that listen to him.

Fun fact; the four visible livestock on the card include Pillarfield Ox, Ox of Agonas, Vigor, and Bartered Cow. These cards won't add to the total, but are here and that's cool.

Also fun fact: according to the card crafting stories, this card was originally Strongarm from Lorwyn/Shadowmoor! Neat!

A cactus with a gun! Native to the plane, and my friend.

Gryff's are the wonderfully unique heron-hippogryffs of Innistrad, so this beautiful bird-beast is from there.

Who????? Who are you???? You have human hands but are otherwise completely just a bear man??? The only plane where ANYTHING like this even remotely exists is fucking Blobavia, in the Un-iverse? Who are you??? Why is there no legend article for this fucking set?!?!?

I have no fucking clue where this guy could be from, but the flavor text leans me towards Arcavios. This is some random bear druid man from Quandrix House.

Eriette, the Beguiler! She's one of the secondary members of Oko's gang, despite being ostensibly the first one recruited (or at least the first recruited on screen, by Jace-as-Ashiok). She is of course from Eldraine, and even has beef with Kellan, the newest member of the gang.

Beef that she puts aside! For the mission! Because her evil plan on Eldraine was "I will treat PTSD from the invasion by offering the chance to go to sleep forever, and will coincidentally get to rule the plane" which is like, not even THAT evil? It's misguided and kinda fucked up but not like, EVIL evil? And despite anger at seeing the DIRECT guy responsible for her defeat, she still buries the hatchet. This is like, a 1/10 on the evil scale.

Also there is the slightest, slightest implication she might have poisoned Oko at the end of the story. If she did she gets a "Nahiri did nothing wrong" modifier.

This delightfully cheery grandma is from Zendikar, and is doing what she does best: climbing stuff! She's a new character as far as I can tell so we know nothing about her otherwise, but she's survived the Eldrazi and the Phyrexians and is still smiling so she's okay in my book.

Notably, she does get some fun flavor text on other cards.

The flavor text feels at odds with the vibe of what formring a posse would be- normally this sort of gearing up of the locals would be to fight AGAINST the Sterlings coming in and taking the entire plane, but I digress.

The specific sort of decorations of the town and the people involved feel Atiin to me, but I think I've gotta give this to Thunder Junction proper.

Ghired is a fascinating character to me, because he's shown up before and despite doing so still has no real character and has not contributed to any of the stories he's in. Which is a shame because he's one of the best concepts they've ever come up with, from the best plane they've ever made; he's someone on Ravnica who left one Guild to join another!

This Selesnyan shaman turned to the Gruul Clans after witnessing Illharg, the biggest of the big pigs, rise from the primal earth of the plane! Despite joining the Gruul he still has a Selesnyan connection to wildlife, and on a fully untamed plane like Thunder Junction he is THRIVING. It's so cool! He should do stuff!

It's time for a controversial legendary! It's the Gitrog monster, freshly done being Thalia's steed during the Phyrexian Invasion. He's bullfrogged his way tot Thunder Junction, and now people want to turn this one cult inspiring hypnotoad into just another wild and wacky horse to ride.

I get it. I get why people find this to be a discrediting of the Gitrog from fearsome monster to funny creature, but it honestly works? Innistrad is a plane of horrors, and what happens to horror media when it recurs? It reduces, with each iteration. The best horror film franchises start and end at one, maybe two if you're lucky, and it only takes a complete and total revitalization and reimagining to fix it.

For now, Gitrog is a funny horse, but maybe one day he'll be the monster you remember from your nightmares.

A scam artist and swindler from Innistrad, Old Honest Rutstein is a surprising pull for the plane... and yet works perfectly, as snake-oil salesmen fit the old west aesthetic perfectly. Has many a fun flavor text in the set, and notably is NOT a hellspur. He's just got some fun glowy corn husks to play with.

Was the first card from the set teased as preview art before this story arc began.

The name is a reference to Misinformation Campaign, one of the best cards from Guilds of Ravnica, but mechanically it really is more like Dovin Baan's stupid planning and plotting card.

With that in mind, and given the... strange art, I'm saying this is from Ravnica.

Jem Lightfoote, with an e, is one of the Atiin, as her flavor text implies. This is all we know about her, other than her being delightful and probably fun at parties.

Jolene Jolene, please don't go punching my man into space. This... hilarious card showcases New Capenna's premiere boxing tough knocking a guy directly out of his boots, while her horrifically photo-realistic snorse niss's menacingly behind her.

Fun fact: her magical gauntlets, which she still has and you can tell because you can see them around her fists, lets her literally punch money out of people! Every hit knocks some gold out of them, made from their blood and life.

This is directly referencing a magical item from some actual play DND podcast that I'm blanking on the name of. Maybe The Adventure Zone?

Kambal, once the Consul of Allocation of Ghirapur, in Kaladesh, was ousted from his position following the revolution, replaced with Pia, Chanra's mother. Despite losing all of his actual political power, his underworld connections didn't consume him for failure, and he survived past the Phyrexian Invasion to go on to becoming the corrupt mayor of Prosperity.

The art of him makes it look like he, as the kids these day say, is "serving cunt" and I kinda adore it.

Kellan's join up card. Thunder Junction.

And here is Kellan proper! The erstwhile hero of the "omenpath" saga of magic story, this is the first time since Eldraine that he's actually mattered in any real capacity! Here, he finally manifests the last of his birthright, the fae magics of Oko's plane, but in his heart he's still the little shepherd boy from Eldraine.

Kellan's story honestly concludes so well that I'll forgive the somewhat lackluster middle portion. He's a sweet and innocent and perfect soul. 0/10 villainy score.

Kraum is Ludevic's Opus, his perfect creation, the pinnacle of his mad stitching science. He's like two dudes connected together who can fly through electromagnetic powers. Mad scientists are silly.

I adore that Ludevic cares this much about his apprentice though. Kraum never shows up in story, which is probably for the best, but it's really funny to imagine every scene Geralf is in just has a two headed lightning crackling Frankenstein just, off in the distance watching him.

Jaspar Flint is, apparently, a Hellspur, which I can kinda see from the mutations on his hands and chest, so I suppose he's from Thunder Junction. But also there's no Viashino out there that look like desert lizards, so I do wonder where he's from... my best guess is actually Gastal, for some reason.

Lazav, successfully convincing everyone on Ravnica of his death in defense of the plane, has decided to go solo mode. So much for him and Tezzeret's plane to take over Ravnica- not that that'd ever come to fruit given it's from a book everyone hates.

I really love the art for this card.

Lilah is the leader of the Slickshots, and notably while she doesn't show up in the story proper, the secret to her and her gangs success does; a magical tincture only she can make, that empowers her and her allies with a little extra oomph to their magic.

The best way to identify a Slickshot is through their magic, and thte specific green magic she's launching out of a strange, heart-shaped bottle, suggests to me that she's actually a witch from Eldraine.

The flavor text, plus the make and model of the thunder-gun on our would-be gunfighter's side, suggests this is Atiin to me.

And that's a total of thirty! So lets take a quick break and go to part 2 momentarily!

[journeytothewestresearch]

Story Idea: Part-Time God

Imagine a very unassuming guy (of any ethnicity or nationality) who goes to work, pays his taxes, complains about the price of gas, food, and rent (etc.), things any regular person would do. But he is in fact an ancient Eurasian thunder god who, when called upon, battles drought-bringing water-serpents in the clouds. His glowing ethereal form is that of a giant, bearded man with a horned helmet and ancient, golden attire. He wields either a stone mace or a forked thunder weapon that showers lightning bolts across the heavens.

This dual nature is not a case of a deity being cursed to forget their divine origins like the Hindu monkey god Hanuman. Nor is it a case of a god being punished to live as a mortal like Marvel's silver age Thor. Perhaps the protagonist's father, the king of the gods, is aloof and disconnected from the human world. Therefore, our hero takes it upon himself to live among Man in order to stay grounded and to better understand their day to day struggles in an ever-changing world.

It's important to note that he is NOT a superhero. This god does not use his power to deter crime. It is only used in battling water-serpents, which ensures the survival of mankind by routing droughts that would otherwise destroy all the world's crops. Basically, if he doesn't perform his holy duty, the world will starve. It's best to think of the narrative in terms of ancient religion and the importance of the harvest to agrarian societies.

The meat of the story would be the strange juxtaposition between his mortal and immortal lives. There would be a clean divide between both, with episodes focusing on the tedium of his daily human activities and the explosive action of his divine battles. But occasionally these lives would bleed into each other; for instance, an injury born from his heaven-shaking combat, could be explained away as some embarrassing accident, like rolling an ankle or tripping up the stairs. Or, a human friend or coworker might notice his sour deminer after a drama-filled argument about the merits of mankind with his father in heaven.

If anyone asks, yes, this is a self-insert. I was bored while waiting for a doctor's appointment. I was wondering what it would be like to have a concurrent second life free of aging and illness, one where I could soar through the clouds and test my divine strength by battling ancient foes.

[bvnnyholly]

the evans and their favorite arctic monkeys album (gn!reader x the evans)

note: this only consists of tate, kit, kyle, jimmy, jpm, rory and kai— their seasons are the only ones i've watched LMAO. they're also the only ones i think would listen to the monkeys.

CAUTION: opinions, slight mentions of intercourse, mentions of being impregnated, cursing, and ahs spoilers.

tate langdon - favorite worst nightmare

-he's definitely a big fwn guy, alex turner wrote 'do me a favor' just for him I JUST KNOW IT. the album title fits him too.

-he found out about arctic monkeys through you when he was looking at your spotify playlist. he found the band name a little bit silly so he played it but to his surprise, he actually liked it.

-his favorite songs have to be brianstorm and d is for dangerous.

-he probably also like 'humbug' and 'whatever people say i am, that's what i'm not'.

kit walker - the car

-not so sure about this but considering that he works at a gas station, 'the car' kinda fits him and it also sounds kinda old and funky so i think kit would like that

-he probably listens to arctic monkeys when you play it in your record player. he wasn't really a big fan of it at first but he grew into it and the band reminds him alot about you so he really likes it now.

-his favorite song is probably 'i ain't quite where i think i am' and 'body paint'

-he also likes tranquility base hotel and casino and plays it after a long day at work

kyle spencer - whatever people say i am, that's what i'm not + humbug

pre-death

-he definitely likes wpsia and relates to it.

-he discovered it at a frat party and liked it. he probably listens to them after class. you both became friends because you also liked the monkeys.

- his favorite song has to be 'riot van', 'certain romance', and 'mardy bum'

-he also likes am because who doesn't

franken kyle

-humbug is his favorite because of how slow it is and how it's not as fast paced like the other albums.

-he listens to arctic monkeys when you play it and cuddle with him. you play it so much while you guys cuddle to the point where he associates the band with cuddling.

-his favorite songs are 'secret door' and 'cornerstone'

-he also likes tbhc because it's calm, he gets jumpscared when 'she looks like fun' plays though. he also likes 'i wanna be yours', the calm stuff basically.

jimmy darling - am

-jimmy definitely likes 'am'. his hair is also just as musty and covered in hair gel like alex in his late 'sias' and 'am' era.

-he heard 'am' through the local radio and really liked it. he sings 'r u mine?' for you in one of his performances on the freak show, and you absolutely love it.

-one of his favorites are 'do i wanna know?', 'fireside', and 'snap out of it', but absolutely despises 'why'd you only call me when you're high?' because he says "the lyrics are too real".

-jimmy stays loyal to his beloved 'am', probably because he doesn't know other albums exist, you're trying to get him into 'sias' though.

james patrick march - tranquility base hotel and casino

-james adores 'tbhc', he thinks the storytelling and the story itself is genius. but even how much he likes it, he wouldn't be caught alive listening to it (probably because he's dead).

-he first listened to the monkeys when you asked him to play something that isn't jazz. you forced him to spin one of your records, so he picked 'tbhc' because he found the title intriguing. he loves it but would never admit to you.

-'star treatment', 'one point perspective', and the title track are always on repeat for him. he thinks 'golden trunks' are the two of yous' song.

-james probably doesn't explore the arctic monkeys much, he listened to 'the car' but it was too modern for his taste.

rory monahan - suck it and see

-assuming that rory lives in california, he would definitely listen to "sias'. he also fits the album's aesthetic very well.

-you both discovered arctic monkeys at a record store. he picked 'suck it and see' as a joke and because he's a borny little shit. to his surprise, he ended up liking it though.

-'black treacle', 'piledriver waltz', and the title track are his favorites. you'd both debate on which one is better: the 'sias' version of 'piledriver waltz' or alex turner's version, he always defends the 'sias' version for some reason.

-he probably listens to the other albums but not as much as he does to 'sias'.

kai anderson - am

-he doesn't listen to 'am' that much, he doesn't listen to music that much in general. he thinks it's something sacred and should only be listened to when doing something holy, like creating a messiah with your sister through your gay boy toy twink cult member.

-he discovered 'am' through the internet, and plays it typically when he works out or attempting to "create a messiah" with you.

-he only listens to 'do i wanna know' because it's average republican behavior—he also only listens to mainstream music so like it's the only song he knows.

-as i said, mainstream music type of guy, so definitely only am.

[asexual-spongebob]

wail the siren incorrect quotes. 😭

Keef: *about Zim and Dib* They make a cute couple, huh?  Skoodge: They certainly are standing next to each other.

Zim: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Dib!

Dib: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Dib: The stars are so beautiful...

Zim: They're just giant balls of gas.

Dib: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Zim: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Dib: Oh...

Keef: Why do you look like that?  Zim, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?  Keef: Like you’re dead.  Zim: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.  Skoodge: Zim accidentally called Dib “babe” in front of everyone today.  Zim: *sobs into the floor*

Keef: *sees Dib and Zim together*  Keef: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.  Skoodge: You mean... you ship them?

Gaz: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.  Tak: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.  Gaz: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??  Tak: Is it working?

Gaz: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.  Tak: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Tak: I’m in love with you.  Gaz: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.  Tak: I know.  Gaz: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Tak: Fight me!  Gaz: *gets on one knee and pulls out a ring*  Gaz: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Tenn : Are you sure Keef’s going to be able to handle that IKEA furniture? They’re not very good with technical stuff…  Skoodge: Why are you worried? IKEA was never complicated; these days, it’s even easier! Everything’s color coded, numbered, and there’s even an assembly robot option to make it even easier for Keef, which we’ve obviously opted in for. All they need to do is press the clearly labeled ON button, scan the QR code on the front of the box, and it’ll take care of the rest. Even a monkey could do it!  *Skoodge’s phone rings*  Keef: Hey, so I’m at Lowes…  Tenn : …  Tenn : I should have gone with the monkey.

Zim: Dib kissed me!  Keef : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!  Zim: It was unbelievable!  Keef : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!  Skoodge : Okay, we wanna hear everything. Keef , get the wine and unplug the phone. Zim, does this end well or do we need tissues?  Zim: Oh, it ended very well.  Keef : Do not start without me! Do not start without me!  Skoodge : Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?  Zim: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.  Skoodge : Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?  Zim: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.  Keef and Skoodge: Ohhh.  *meanwhile*  Dib eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.  Tenn: Tongue?  Dib: Yeah.  Gaz : Cool.

Keef : What time is it?  Skoodge : I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out  Skoodge : *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*  Tenn: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING  Skoodge : It’s 2 am

Mimi: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.  Gir, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Zim, tending to Dib's wounds: How would you rate your pain?  Dib: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Dib: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Zim: You always act stupid.

Zim: Wait.

Zim: Goodnight to the love of my life, Dib, and fuck the rest of y'all.

Gaz about Dib: he’s going to go jump in the water and cry now.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Since Mac gas to deal with Azure's unrequited pining on Wukong, does Wukong have any unrequited love rivals of his husband he have to deal with?

Also is this live rival(s) situation happen to other Wukongs?

hehhehe

For LMK Shadowpeach:

Wukong has witnessed many a being try and romance his beloved Macaque; as monkeys of FFM (fellow primate demons), as attendants to the gods (celestials), and now as settled couple in the mortal realm (demons and humans alike). And while Mac has no interest in anyone else, Mac does love how possessive Wukong gets of him at the slightest sniff of a love rival. Mac attracts a fair bit of attention when he starts living in the human world -mostly from fellow theatre nerds and handsy fans. SWK quickly puts out any hope in his love rivals hearts when he goes to collect Mac after a play. This monkey is willing to perform public indecency to scare off any threats to his lovelife. Mac loves it >:3

For the other Wukongs; a few def have present love rivals. Two of them I'm especially willing to discuss.

For the HeroIsBack!Shadowpeach:

Since their story takes place many years before the events of JttW; SWK and his LEM encounter the still-single Nine-Headed Beast. Imagine just nine teenage dorks in the same body falling over themselves trying to impress the "beautiful shadowy warrior" that is Macaque. They aren't a very good rival though, more Milhouse than Gaston you know?

But then comes White Deer Spirit of Biqiu... who's a lot more interested in stealing Liuer (golden cicada soul looking tasty) and the Stone Egg for his alchemy than Mac, but hey he can be the honeypot when he wants to. He endears himself to the small pilgrim group as a fellow single parent (using the much younger White-Faced Vixen Spirit as his daughter like in the Jttw), and he then starts making the romantic moves on Mac. HeroIsBack!SWK is not happy.

Luckily their new spider girl gang buddies are quick to recognise a no-good manstealer when they sees one and warn the monkeys ahead of time. HeroIsBack!Macaque meanwhile is like; "Tbh I was just hungry for venison. But seeing Dasheng do that endless heart trick, and go primeval on a guy is doing something for me." <3

HeroIsBack will immedately challenge any love rivals to combat, and then take their adopted kids as his own - White-Faced Vixen (Shui Lian/睡莲 I've decided to call her) needs a stable home after all, and not a dad that would present her as a concubine to a creepy king decades older than her.

Reborn!Shadowpeach:

These two have to deal with more... mutually unwanted affections.

Reborn!SWK and his LEM meet in the buddhist-and-demon-unfriendly Cart-Slow Kingdom, both unable to leave for sometime because of "passport troubles" (ie, Tripitaka getting captured for SWK. Trying to hide a stowaway for LEM). I'll be making a whole post about how these two meet very soon. ;)

Then the three Daoist demon priests running the kingdom (Tiger-Strength, Deer-Strength, and Goat-Strength) see two beautiful, powerful monkey demons and decide that they want wives. Both Reborn Wukong and Macaque are unhappy about this - Bajie, Ao Lie, and Sandy have to organise a simultaneous monk and wedding heist.

Later on, Reborn!SWK assumes there is a love rival for Reborn!Mac and gets a little sad-but-happy for his potiential soulmate... only for the person to turn out to be a certain demon holding a debt over Mac's head >:3

Lets just say anyone who comes between a Shadowpeach pairing is doomed to failure.

[jungle-angel]

The One With Royal's Old Firebird: Part 4 (Rhett Abbott x Reader)

Summary: At last, the Firebird is unveiled in all it's glory

Warnings: SMUT (minors are not allowed!!!!!!)

Tagging: @floydsmuse @floydsglasses @attapullman @rhettabbotts @sebsxphia @withahappyrefrain @callmemana @delopsia @lewmagoo @kmc1989 @cowboybarbie @sorchathered

"Alright now what the fuck did you little fuck-monkey's do now?" Royal questioned as he followed Rhett towards the garage.

"Nothin Dad, I swear," Rhett told him, trying to hid his laughter.

Up the gravel walk they went, when the sound of a motor starting in the garage reached their ears along with the rev of an engine. Royal's jaw dropped halfway to the ground when he saw that black '76 Firebird pulling out of the garage and into the morning sun, the golden screaming eagle emblazoned on the front while the black body gleamed in the bright sun.

"HOLY SHIT!!!" Royal laughed. "Ya'll didn't!! Ya'll fuckin didn't!!"

"Oh we did," Rhett told him, unable to hide the shit eating grin on his face.

Kayce, Rip, John and all the rest pulled it up into the turn-around spot in the driveway so Royal could get a good look at it. "Remember that one night you, me and the rest of us idiots pulled out of the parking lot at The Handsome Gambler in this thing and we were all moonin Wayne?" John chuckled.

"Oh God, screamin at him like we were all hot shit too," Royal laughed.

John, Rhett, Rip and Kayce all piled in with Royal, the new car smell still heavy in the seats. "Guess what I dug up too?" John said, handing him the small cassette tape.

"You didn't."

"Oh I fuckin did," John said with a wry grin.

***********************************

You and Cece were both finishing up the dishes from breakfast, the house quiet as you two chattered away. The sun spilled in through the open kitchen windows while the cats lurked about looking for pests. The two little chihuahuas and Chewbacca, who had all been asleep on the living room sofa, suddenly started barking, but at what, you had no clue.

"Hey! Knock it off!" you ordered.

"Oh my God, what the hell is pulling up the driveway?" Cecelia wondered aloud.

You and her gazed out the window to hear tires screeching and the obnoxious sound of "Wango Tango" by Ted Nugent blasting from a radio somewhere. You watched your mother-in-law's jaw drop and her eyes bug halfway out of her head.

"NO!!!" she blurted out. "No! He fucking didn't!! Oh my God!!!"

You thought Cecelia was going to kill whoever it was that had pulled to a screeching halt in the driveway, but were relieved when you heard her laughing as she rushed out the storm door.

"What the hell is this?!" she laughed.

"Hey pretty thang!" Royal called to her, sticking his head out the car window. "Wanna go for a ride?!"

"Cece you sure this is a good idea?" you asked her.

"C'mon honey we're goin for a ride in that thing," she chuckled, guiding you along with her.

The two of you jumped right in and Royal pulled back on the clutch, hitting the gas before spinning the car around and speeding out onto the road.

"Where the hell did you find this thing?" Cecelia shouted excitedly over the music.

"Don't ask me, ask your son," Royal answered.

You, Rhett and John seemed to be holding on for dear life as Royal sped down the stretch of road in the middle of nowhere, praying that Joy, Edgar and Dan weren't on duty.

"Oh wait a sec hold on," Cecelia told him.

"Ya'll see lights Sugar Bear?"

"Nope, somethin else and I ain't lettin it slip by," she told him. "Pull over for a sec."

Royal skidded to a halt on the other side of the road where sure enough, was Wayne Tillerson, trying to fix a busted truck tire. Cecelia stuck herself about halfway out the window and whistled, loud and shrill enough to catch his attention.

"Cecelia?" he called to her.

What no one was expecting was when Cecelia stuck both of her middle fingers right up at him. "Up yours raggedy man!!!!! That's for tryin to hit on me twenty years ago!!!"

Royal revved the engine, the tires burning and screeching until he sped off, leaving nothing but black skids on the pavement and a rather scared Wayne Tillerson in their wake.

*****************************

Rhett came into your shared bedroom, emerging fresh from the shower and still laughing his ass off from his parents' shenanigans. "Did ya'll see the look on Wayne's face when Ma flipped him off?" he asked.

"Oh my God that was priceless!" you exclaimed.

Rhett laughed as he kissed you, leaning in to press sweet little pecks against your lips. Outside it had grown dark but that didn't mean the night was over for the two of you. Rhett opened the windows in his bedroom, finally relieved that it was warm enough for them to stay open. Outside the peepers chirped and croaked while the warm breeze rustled the grasses.

"Oh Good GOD!!!" Rhett exclaimed.

"What? What's up?"

You joined him at the window, choking back a laugh when you saw the Firebird rocking back and forth and the radio playing "Smooth Operator". You and Rhett were trying not to laugh, knowing you two had already christened the damn thing and that Royal and Cece had no idea.

Rhett faked a gagging noise when you two heard the noises coming from the car. Finally, when the noises had died down, you and Rhett had decided that would be the opportune moment.

"HEY YA'LL KNOW WE CHRISTENED THE DAMN THING ALREADY???!!!!!" Rhett shouted down to them.

"What the fu-GODDAMNIT SON!!!" Royal bellowed.

You and Rhett laughed and snickered amongst yourselves as Royal strung together a tapestry of obscenities that as far as you knew, was still hanging over the Abbott ranch.

"We're so gonna get it in the morning," Rhett laughed.

"It'll be worth it though," you told him, pressing a kiss to his lips.