#Garrett does disco

[g4yr4t]

I failed ANOTHER 92% check??? is my save file cursed or something?

[neon-green-reagent]

50 More Underrated Horror Films To Watch If You're Still Bored and Stressed Out

Last year, I made this list to try to provide entertainment during a bad time. Honestly, we still in this, and it might be time to recommend some more movies.

Eyes of Laura Mars : Faye Dunaway plays a photographer that has psychic visions where she’s seeing through the eyes of a killer. Brad Dourif and Tommy Lee Jones and Rene Auberjonois are there, too, and all great. This movie has been illustriously dubbed a Disco Giallo, and if that doesn’t convince you, nothing will. 

The Vagrant : A pitch black comedy that pits Bill Paxton against a vagrant that he believes is trying to ruin his life, but no one will believe him. Does that sound kind of insensitive? Wait for the twist ending, wherein nothing is as it seems. And when I said pitch black, I wasn’t kidding. VERY dark humor, just to warn you. 

Antiviral : David Cronenberg has a son! Who is taking after him quite well. Celebrity viruses are a fad in this world, and the body horror happens, and watch it. 

Party Line : Do you like psychosexual thrillers full of neon and big hair? This is a big recommendation if that sounds as delightful to you as it does to me. Also, Leif Garrett was a surprisingly good actor in this? 

Beyond the Door III : No, you don’t need to watch the first two. That says most of what can be said about this. The rest that can be said is there’s a train and some weird religious stuff and a lot of gnarly deaths. 

Pretty Poison : Early Anthony Perkins, playing to type... in a way. There’s a big difference between this and Psycho, and it’s the addition of Tuesday Weld. As much as I love Perkins, she steals the show. 

The Editor : If you’re like me and have ventured deep into giallo territory already, then this is what you need. A giallo parody. That’s as wonderful as it sounds. 

Absentia : Mike Flanagan’s first film. I might be making this sound more simple than it is, but the story can be boiled down to this premise: what if fairy tale bridge trolls were REAL? Turns out that’s absolutely horrifying. 

Banshee Chapter : From Beyond meets MK Ultra. With Ted Levine doing a Hunter Thompson impression the whole time. *chef’s kiss* 

Death Machine : You had to see this one coming. Killer robot on the loose. It’s Brad Dourif’s robot, and he’s super weird about it the whole time. This is a love letter to all those action-packed horror movies we love. 

Dream Demon : This is the most Sapphic film I’ve ever seen where the two women don’t simply hook up during the course of the film. It’s glorious. I admit I barely noticed anything else. I was just so happy it was so gay. Please watch. 

Visiting Hours : Michael Ironside is a killer on the loose. Some other stuff happens, but mostly Michael Ironside happens. William Shatner is there? But who gives a damn! Michael Ironside! 

The Unborn : The ending to this. This is one of those movies that keeps one-upping itself, and you’re like it can’t go any farther. They wouldn’t dare. And then they dare. They go there. Pregnancy horror gone hog wild. 

Jennifer : Carrie rip-off, but we loves those in this house. Only Carrie is Jennifer, and she has some God-given power to control snakes. Fantastic dismount at the end. 

Satan's Slave : Religious horror. BUT. Not Judeo-Christian. Muslim. I love seeing other cultures get in on the religious horror trend. Let’s all be super scared of the evils that can befall us together! 

Eyeball : Another good ole nasty giallo. Umberto Lenzi was super prolific, kind of workman-like, but he always delivered on good exploitation. Also, the title means lots of eyeball gore, be aware. 

Splinter : Body horror turned up to eleven. The whole point of this movie is to introduce a creature that takes over your body and uses it to locomote, and in doing so, hurts ya real bad. The effects look absolutely cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs and will burn itself into your brain. 

Alone in the Dark : This is only a rare watch because no one has released it on blu-ray yet. *taps watch* Donald Pleasance and Martin Landau get to have a lot of fun. But my fave was a character known as Bleeder. Watch and you’ll see. 

The Caller : The only reason I’m able to make these lists as varied and deeply cutting as I am is because of Vinegar Syndrome, and I owe them everything for bringing this one to my attention. I don’t dare say a thing about it. Watch this movie, take the journey, and get your mind blown. 

Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice : Oh boy. I went through a whole thing where I watched every Children of the Corn film, and believe it or not, I don’t regret that at all. They’re a lot of fun. This one, though, is the MOST fun. My favorite is the church scene where a guy gets a nose bleed. Oh so nasty. 

Grim Prairie Tales : Brad Dourif and James Earl Jones in an old west horror anthology. They meet up and tell each other weird stories through the night. Including one where a man is eaten by a woman’s vagina. Hmm. 

Amityville 1992: It's About Time : Amityville as a “true” haunting is... bullshit. I hope we all know that by now. But these sequels where hapless families inherit cursed objects that absorbed the house’s ghostly funk... These are great, and this one has the added bonus of Stephen Macht. 

Ladromes de Tumbas (Grave Robbers) : A Mexican slasher made by Ruben Galindo Jr. America isn’t the only place where you can get a nasty movie where an undead Satanist chops up screaming teenagers. Thank God. 

Memorial Valley Massacre : I’m taking a real chance recommending this one. Some people might find this as dumb as a bag of hammers, but I thought it was charming in what it clearly wanted to be. A killer is loose at a campground, but things are not as simple as they seem on the surface. If only it’d had the budget to really tell the story like it deserved. 

Blue Monkey : A bug... that grows really giant... and a disease caused by the bug... get loose in a hospital. So it’s medical horror. And a giant bug movie. With Steve Railsback whipping ass the whole time. Good stuff. 

So Sweet... So Perverse : Twisty and turny giallo starring Carroll Baker and directed by Umberto Lenzi. That keeps twisting until you’re like IS THIS THE ACTUAL ENDING? Those are my faves. 

Diary of the Dead : Romero! We all know and love him, but this movie got a bad rap, and I’m here to say it deserves a second look. His entire zombie oeuvre is great, and this one is no exception. The man had a lot to say, and now more than ever, it all rings pretty true. 

Black Mountain Side : The Thing rip-off, but if you love The Thing, don’t you want more The Thing? Plus, slightly different bend, but with just as much of those paranoid mind games we love. 

Turkey Shoot : Maybe more exploitation than horror, but adjacent enough to mention it. This movie starts with a lot of world building, and if that bores you, please stick it out. You don’t want to miss the over-the-top kills and the very satisfying ending. 

The Shrine : Folk horror with such a wonderful twist to it. You think you’re watching one kind of movie, then it becomes a whole other beast. A great beast. I won’t spoil it, so just watch it. 

Mikey : Killer kid movie. But one of those that doesn’t rely on powers. It’s all about a child exhibiting the early signs of being a psychopath, and the kid they got for the lead is as solid at pulling that off as he’d need to be. Also, Ashley Lawrence appears as a concerned teacher. 

The Wind : Meg Foster has the bluest eyes on earth. Also, Wings Hauser chases her around and is completely off his rocker, as usual. Great cat-and-mouse thriller. 

Pulse (Kairo) : Japanese apocalyptic movie that kept shocking me and making me shudder in my seat. I can’t express how hard it is for a movie to get that reaction from me and what a feat it is that this one did. It haunts me still. 

Martha Marcy May Marlene : Speaking of haunting. I just watched this one, and it feels burned into me. Elizabeth Olsen plays a young woman escaping from a cult, but is she really? Fantastic slow burn. 

The Attic Expeditions : This movie is not bad. Stop saying it’s bad. It isn’t. It’s a wonderful mind fuck that will have smoke coming out of your ears. And I’ll just list some people in it: Ted Raimi, Jeffrey Combs, Seth Green, and Alice Cooper. 

Primal Rage : Monkey bite man. Man go rabid. Girl go rabid. Shit hit fan. 

Night Owl : Early 90s club scene vampire flick filmed in black and white with dark, nasty sex, and I just loved this. Give me that 90s techno arthouse vibe and let me live in it. 

The Mortuary Collection : This one is up on Shudder, if you’re so inclined. Highly aesthetically pleasing anthology with Clancy Brown as the “Cryptkeeper” of this particular set of stories. 

Death Warmed Up : Australian-made splattery, melty movie that goes all out. If you want to deepen your knowledge of the film movement in that place at that time besides just watching Mad Max, this is a good place to continue your journey. 

Kiss of the Damned : If Interview with the Vampire was more... girls. Which means I dug it so much. Particularly the character of Xenia. More Sapphic horror! 

From Dusk Til Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money : If the first film had been filmed even MORE like Evil Dead. And starred Robert Patrick. RIGHT? 

Scissors : Sharon Stone goes insane. That’s the movie. But also this was wild and the ending made me stand up and clap. And Steve Railsback plays twins. I just. 

Crimes of Passion : Ken Russell directs Anthony Perkins and Kathleen Turner (both of whom apparently did a LOT of drugs during filming) in an erotic thriller. I feel I don’t need to say more. 

Wer : Some murders happen, and everyone believes it’s this one guy, but his lawyer is like oh no it can’t be. But... he’s a werewolf. And it’s fantastic. 

The Keep : Michael Mann’s second masterpiece outside of Manhunter. Nazis attempt to occupy a keep that houses an ancient evil, and they all get slaughtered. It warms my heart. 

The Fury : Brian de Palma made TWO movies about psychic kids killing everyone in sight. This one has more of a political thriller edge to it, but it’s just as good. Just as fun. Just as in need of attention. 

The House of Usher : Specifically the 1989 version. With Oliver Reed. And Donald Pleasance. You read that right. Both of them chewing scenery. Maybe that’s what was actually wrong with the house. The two of them chewed it up until it collapsed. 

The Perfume of the Lady in Black : It starts off like any other giallo. And then it ends in a place where you ask yourself, much like David Byrne, how did I get here? It’s magnificent. 

Fire in the Sky : Alien abduction! And I mean fucking scary, too. If you ever thought, “that wouldn’t scare me.” Well! I challenge you to watch the ending of this movie and not SHIT EVERYWHERE. 

Deepstar Six - Do you like The Abyss? And Leviathan? And Underwater? Watch this. Just go do it. What are you waiting for? Sea monster! And also Miguel Ferrer says of some porn, “is it hot? Is it wet? DOES IT RIDE!?” And I want to say that about everything now. 

Oh my God, that took a long time. Now go watch! Enjoy! 

[performingonline]

Performance for Multi-User Online Environments (Before COVID-19)

I’m Angela Washko and I am currently teaching a course called Performance Art (In The Expanded Field) at Carnegie Mellon University and have recently had to switch to teaching remotely - a switch that comes maybe more naturally to me than others because of my experience participating in the net art community and operating as a performance artist specifically within online environments. Before everyone was forced to work remotely because of an international pandemic, many artists were already thinking about the internet as a context for performance art.  I wanted to put together a resource focused on artists who have been doing the work of thinking about the specificity of virtual spaces as sites for performance and making work mindful of the unique qualities of the contexts they operate in. I hope that this list of works could be a resource for educators and artists who are interested in looking at artworks by individuals who have been thinking very intentionally about performance in networked contexts.

This list includes artists performing for webcam, artists performing in virtual environments, and artists performing for social media. It specifically focuses on performance, and excludes works of net art that do not contain performance-for-the-internet.  The list also primarily focuses on performance works that are made without the use of expensive equipment or access to institutional spaces (although I know there are some exceptions on this list). Also - it is in no way complete or comprehensive! 

*This list does not include the many artists who perform for video and upload their performances online - UNLESS the artist is specifically thinking about engaging with the digital audience and not prioritizing the gallery as a context. 

**Sexually explicit or violent content that may be uncomfortable for some viewers and situations

Annie Abrahams and Emmanuel Guez, Reading Club (video conferencing)

Annie Abrahams, Daniel Pinheiro and Lisa Parra, DistantFeeling(s) (Zoom)

Annie Abrahams, Ruth Catlow, Paolo Cirio, Ursula Endlicher, Nicolas Frespech and Igor Stromajer, Huis Clos / No Exit (video conferencing)

Larry Achiampong & David Blandy, Finding Fanon 2 (Grand Theft Auto V)

Robert Adrian, The World in 24 Hours (networked happening)

LaTurbo Avedon, Visiting Artist Talk (multi platform)

Jeremy Bailey, various performances by Famous New Media Artist Jeremy Bailey (YouTube)

Jeremy Bailey, The You Museum (online advertising banners)

Man Bartlett, 24hr non-Best Buy (Twitter)

Genevieve Belleveau, Gorgeoustaps and The Reality Show (Facebook)

Wafaa Bilal, Domestic Tension (livestream website)

Wafaa Bilal, Virtual Jihadi (Quest for Saddam game)

Mary Bond, autodissociate me (4chan)**

Marco Cadioli, Remap Berlin (Second Life, Google Maps, Twinity)

micha cárdenas, Becoming Dragon (Second Life)

Ruth Catlow and Helen Kaplinsky, Sociality-machine (video conferencing, custom software)

Ruth Catlow, Marc Garrett and Neil Jenkins, VisitorStudio (custom software for online performance)

Jennifer Chan, factum/mirage (Chat Roulette)**

Jennifer Chan, factum/mirage III (Chat Roulette)**

Channel TWo [CH2], barelyLegal (Google Maps)

Corpos Informaticos, Telepresence 2 (telepresence project)

Petra Cortright, VVEBCAM (YouTube)

Jeff Crouse and Aaron Meyes, World Series of ‘Tubing (Competitive YouTube-ing)

James Coupe, General Intellect (Amazon Mechanical Turk)

Joseph DeLappe, dead-in-iraq (America’s Army)

Joseph DeLappe, The Salt Satyagraha Online: Gandhi's March to Dandi in Second Life (Second Life)

Joseph DeLappe, Howl: Elite Force Voyager Online (Elite Force Voyager Online)

Joseph DeLappe, Quake Friends (Quake III Arena)

Kate Durbin, Unfriend Me Now! (Facebook Live)

Kate Durbin, Cloud Nine (Cam4)**

Electronic Disturbance Theater, FloodNet (Java applet)

Entropy8Zuper! (Auriea Harvey and Michaël Samyn), WIREFIRE (Flash 5)

Entropy8Zuper! (Auriea Harvey and Michaël Samyn), skinonskinonskin (multi platform)

Jason Eppink, Kickback Starter (website, Kickstarter)

Cao Fei, RMB City (Second Life)

Mary Flanagan, [borders] (Second Life)

Foci + Loci, many projects (Little Big Planet 2)

Ed Fornieles, Dorm Daze (Facebook)

Carla Gannis, C.A.R.L.A G.A.N. (virtual environments and social media platforms)

Riley Harmon, Poser (Andy Warhol’s Grave Livecam)

Amber Hawk Swanson, Sidore (Mark) / Heather > LOLITA (livestream)**

Josh Harris, We Live In Public / Quiet (livestream)

Auriea Harvey, Webcam Movies (webcam)

Ann Hirsch, Scandalishious (YouTube)

Ann Hirsch, horny lil feminist (website)**

Faith Holland, Porn Interventions (RedTube)**

Shawné Michaelain Holloway, a personal project (XTube)**

Shawné Michaelain Holloway, b4bedwithurlbae (Periscope)**

Brian House, Joyride (Google Maps)

Brian House, Tanglr (Google Chrome extension)

E. Jane, E. The Avatar (YouTube, online store)

E. Jane, That time I sold my dreads online (ebay)

JODI, SK8MONKEYS ON TWITTER (Twitter)

Miranda July, Learning to Love You More (website)

Devin Kenny, Untitled/Celfa (webcam performance)

Laura Hyunjhee Kim, The Living Lab (social media, website)

Gelare Khoshgozaran and Nooshin Rostami, Just Like A Disco (webcam)

Gelare Khoshgozaran, Misscommunication (webcam)

Gelare Khoshgozaran, Realms of Observation (Chat Roulette)

Lynn Hershman Leeson, The Dollie Clone Series (webcam livestream)

Olia Lialina, Animated GIF Model (multiple webpages)

Olia Lialina, Self-Portrait (browser)

Olia Lialina, Summer (multiple webpages)

Jordan Wayne Long, Box Shipment #2 (Lord of the Rings Online)

Gretta Louw, Controlling Connectivity (Skype and others)

Low Lives, Virtual Performance Series (livestream)

Michael Mandiberg, Shop Mandiberg (ecommerce site)

Eva and Franco Mattes, Freedom (Counter-Strike Source)

Eva and Franco Mattes, Life Sharing (website)

Eva and Franco Mattes, No Fun (Chat Roulette)**

Eva and Franco Mattes, Re-Enactments (Second Life)

Eva and Franco Mattes, Synthetic Performances (Second Life)

Lauren McCarthy, Follower (artist-made app)

Lauren McCarthy, LAUREN (livestream surveillance)

Lauren McCarthy, Social Turkers (Amazon Mechanical Turk)

Lauren McCarthy, SOMEONE (webcam)

MTAA, 1 year performance video (aka SamHsiehUpdate) (livestream)

Jayson Musson / Hennessy Youngman, Art Thoughtz (YouTube)

Martine Neddam, Mouchette (website)

Mendi and Keith Obadike, Blackness for Sale (ebay)

Marisa Olson, Marisa’s American Idol Training Blog (blog)

Randall Packer & Systaime, #NeWWWorlDisorder (Facebook Live and website)

Sunita Prasad, Sunny & Benny Together Forever (My Free Implants website)

Jon Rafman, Kool Aid Man in Second Life (Second Life)

Bunny Rogers, 9 Years (Second Life)

Stephanie Rothenberg, Invisible Threads (Second Life)

Stephanie Rothenberg, Best Practices In Banana Time (Second Life)

Annina Ruest, A Piece of the Pie Chart (Twitter, webcam)

Annina Ruest, Rock N Scroll (Skype)

Nicole Ruggerio, AR Filters (Instagram)

RaFia Santana, #PAYBLACKTiME (Facebook and Paypal)

Anne-Marie Schleiner, Joan Leandre, Brody Condon, Velvet Strike (Counter-Strike)

Leah Schrager, Sarah White - Naked Therapy (video chat)**

Skawennati, TimeTraveller ™ (Second Life)

Molly Soda, various projects (multi platform)

Georgie Roxby Smith, Fair Game (Grand Theft Auto V)

Georgie Roxby Smith, 99 Problems [Wasted] (Grand Theft Auto V)**

Eddo Stern, Fort Paladin (America’s Army)

Eddo Stern, Runners (Everquest)

Tale of Tales, ABIOGENESIS (Endless Forest)

Third Faction, Demand Player Sovereignty (World of Warcraft)

Toca Loca, Halo Ballet (Halo)

Amalia Ulman, Excellences and Perfections (Instagram, Facebook)

VNS Matrix, Corpusfantastica MOO (MOO - multi-object oriented multi user dungeon)

Addie Wagenknecht & Pablo Garcia, Webcam Venus (sexcam sites)**

Angela Washko, BANGED: A Feminist Artist Interviews the Web’s Most Infamous Misogynist (Skype)

Angela Washko, The Council on Gender Sensitivity and Behavioral Awareness in World of Warcraft (World of Warcraft)

Angela Washko, The World of Warcraft Psychogeographical Association (World of Warcraft)

Brett Watanabe, San Andreas Deer Cam (Twitch, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas)

[batmannotes]

WONDER WOMAN: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION

Beloved Live-action television series.

Remastered for the 1st time ever on Blu-ray!

Coming July 28, 2020 from Warner Bros. Entertainment 

Wonder Woman, the beloved 1970s live-action television series starring Lynda Carter, has been remastered and is coming to Blu-ray™! Wonder Woman: The Complete Collection arrives from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment on July 28, 2020.

Save the world? That’s a man’s job. Then along comes star-spangled Wonder Woman with her bullet-deflecting bracelets and golden lariat to set everyone straight. With Lynda Carter staring as the title character, Season One features adventures in Wonder Woman’s original World War II era, while Seasons Two and Three whoosh forward to the disco-loving ‘70s.  Times change. The need to smash evil, calamity and injustice does not.

The Wonder Woman: The Complete Collection Blu-ray box set (USA $64.99 SRP, Canada $69.99 CAN) comes complete with all 59 episodes, plus the treasured pilot movie, across 10 discs. Bonus features include:

·      Audio commentary of the pilot movie by Lynda Carter & executive producer Douglas S. Cramer

·      Audio commentary by Lynda Carter on episode, “My Teenage Idol is Missing”

·      Featurette – Beauty, Brawn and Bulletproof Bracelets: A Wonder Woman Retrospective

·      Featurette – Revolutionizing a Classic: From Comic Book to Television

·      Featurette – Wonder Woman: The Ultimate Feminist Icon

The TV movie pilot, The New Original Wonder Woman, premiered on November 7, 1975 on ABC. The first season of the series, Wonder Woman, debuted February 16, 1977 on ABC. The second and third seasons of the series aired on CBS, with the final original episode premiering on September 11, 1979.

The Wonder Woman series starred Lynda Carter in the title role as both Wonder Woman and her alter ego, Diana Prince, Lyle Waggoner as Steve Trevor, and Debra Winger as Wonder Girl/Drusilla. First season regulars included Beatrice Colen as Etta Candy, and Richard Eastham as General Philip Blankenship. Noteworthy guest stars included such luminaries of the era as singer/actor Rick Springfield, Red Buttons, Roy Rogers, Roddy McDowall, Frank Gorshin, Celeste Holm, Martin Mull, Dick Gautier, Ron Ely, Gary Burghoff, Leif Garrett, Ed Begley Jr., Dick Van Patten, Eve Plumb, Philip Michael Thomas, Cloris Leachman, Gavin MacLeod, Carolyn Jones, Joan Van Ark, Robert Reed, Anne Francis, John Saxon and many more.

Preorder at Amazon.

[billiemarquez]

stats: Billie Marquez, 26 (b. July 16th, 1993.) she/hers (cis woman.) occupation: session musician at Gold Star Recording Studios (guitar, vocals) / singer-songwriter working the Nashville scene drinks: Sidecar, Corpse Reviver, whiskey sour, pomegranate margarita

sounds like: Lera Lynn, Marika Hackman, Larkin Poe, Billie Marten, Ruby Friedman

+ driven. charming. adventurous. observant. – fickle. self-destructive. macabre. private.

misc. likes banter, likes fun, is laidback and Chill TM. bi af. loves a good boot, enjoys bolo ties, has a pen on her at all times. lighter, too, though she doesn’t really smoke. enjoys a good Bad Idea. dresses like if morticia addams was into southern / southwestern gothic and disco, with a pitstop at hollywood glam & marty robbins’ wardrobe. macabre. likes a good murder ballad. jokes to Cope.

history

( tw physical/verbal domestic / child abuse, murder and suicide, death of parents, implied self-destructive behavior. tl;dr at the end )

The version of Billie Marquez that Billie willingly presents, is this:

City like Nashville, everyone’s got a sob story. Hers isn’t any different – her parents were fucked up, and they fucked her over in the process, but now, it’s water under the bridge, nothing to worry about. She’s got a job, got a roof over her head, and hey – I’m here, ain’t I? Dig a little deeper, get to know her a little more, and she might tell you that her uncle took her in when she was 16. She’ll tell you her parents died in a way that implies it’s an accident, and she’ll tell you that the guitar’s the only constant in her life, ‘sides her aforementioned uncle.

The version of Billie Marquez that Billie has tried to bury, is this:

She remembers it with startling clarity: the sound of crickets in the nearby field, the buzz of the street lamp flickering out overhead. The car that drove past her some ten minutes before she stood out on the porch, red taillights burned into her memory, by virtue of being the last thing of note before her existence upended itself.

If her life was a movie, she’d be saying I’d felt something was off ever since I got off my shift. Couldn’t shake the feeling the whole ride home – but truth is, that evening didn’t feel any more wrong than usual. Her parents fought and Billie drowned it out with her guitar; that was how shit went. For as long as she could remember, the two of them would scream themselves hoarse, eager to break something – themselves or each other, two ill-fitting pieces who had tried and failed to make a home. Hell, she came away with a couple bruises of her own; could smell the booze rolling off them, even on the good days. It was bad, sure. But she still didn’t have a clue about what she’d be coming home to, that night.

The gunshot echoed through her, left her cold as a ghost despite the warmth of a Texan summer.

Mama, dead on the kitchen floor, long-gone by the time Billie came in. Daddy, in his arm chair, shotgun still warm.

She called the cops. Then she threw up, right in the kitchen sink, the stink of hot bile and fry grease clinging to her like it would never leave.

No note. Nothing to explain what had happened, why it happened – if she might have died, too, if it hadn’t been for the extra shift she’d picked up at the last minute. (Could she have stopped it? Done something different? Changed the outcome? She hasn’t found the answer, yet.)

They had no family to speak of in Texas, and besides, Billie didn’t want to stay. Calling her uncle was a last minute idea, the plea of a kid at the end of the line. Mama rarely spoke of her older brother, but when she did – when she had – it had been highly, and never in the company of daddy. Things had gone sour, that much Billie knew. The band hadn’t worked out, and when her uncle kept booking jobs, it had left her father bitter.

“Hey– is this Stavo Marquez?” “—Gabriela? Is that you?” “No. It’s– Billie. I’m your niece? I, uh..”

Mama was right. Her brother was a good man, decent and kind, the type who took in his estranged niece and came all the way to Texas to bring her back to Nashville. The kind of man who may not have fathered her, but who became her dad, who saw the talent in her and mentored it further.

The version of Billie Marquez that Billie likes most, is this:

She booked a job because she’s Billie, not Stavo Marquez’ niece; and then she kept booking them because she’s fucking good at what she does. Her guitar and her singing got her through her childhood, got her through those first months in Nashville, and has kept her going ever since. It’s her most singular obsession, the woman a devil at the strings. She’s happiest when she’s working, and her hours in-between her steady gig as a session musician, or going over her own material, are spent roaming oddity shops and the two bars closest to Gold Star Recording Studios – Coyote Ugly and Claddagh. She’s been a regular that bounces between the two for a few years now, leaving her well-acquainted with both scenes. She’s known to be flighty – she falls in and out of love, and while she never tries to be cruel about it, it’s a known fact around the neighbourhood that Billie’s not the kind that sticks around. She likes fun, likes to feel mindless, enjoys the banter and spectacle of the two bars; fuck it, she even participates in it, sometimes. She works hard and plays hard, because if she stops, she’ll have to think about that house back in Texas, and that’s the last thing she wants.

TL;DR

– grew up in an abusive home in Texas with two alcoholic parents. – the year Billie turned 16, her father killed her mother, and then himself. she doesn’t know why, and it haunts her more than she wants to admit. – she moved to Nashville to live with her uncle, a well-known musician among the Nashville industry. she took his (and her mother’s) last name. – she’s a very talented artist in her own right, and has a steady job at Gold Star Recording Studios as one of their most-booked session musicians. she does guitar (both electric and acoustic) and vocals, and has been dabbling at the piano as well. – loves love, loves to be loved, fucking Sucks at loving others: she doesn’t keep people around for long, and is the kind of dummy that would like to somehow stay friends with her exes. as much as it’s true that Billie’s better at being friends, she’s the one that breaks things off, and it tends to leave people with a sour taste in their mouth.

wanted connections (more TBA)

( i’m super into just seeing where characters go, so if you want a thread but wanna check the chemistry before you hit the past connections, don’t be afraid to hit me up! we can just toss ‘em together and see where it goes✨ )

friends – Garrett ‘Doc’ Reese, ? While Coyote Ugly’s her current go-to, she’s been flitting about for years, Claddagh right across the street. She’s friendly, likes people, tips as well as she can depending on what the cash flow’s like that month, and doesn’t mind when people have rough edges – she doesn’t have a whole lot herself, but she grew up around people who did.

exes – Sonny Taylor, Talon Ayers, ? Billie’s.. flighty. It’s not that she’s purposefully cruel, which might be easier to handle. She’s genuinely sweet, genuinely caring, but she can never seem to stomach the idea of settling down. If she doesn’t break up with them first, it’s likely that they’ve met the Billie Marquez Wall: she’s spent years perfecting the easiest version of her story, and she has genuine trouble letting anyone in.

colleagues – Nashville’s firmly a music town – so who else does she know from the open bars and studio sessions? Any collaborations in the works, people she’s played with?

[thisguyatthemovies]

G-l-o-r-i-a

Title: “Gloria Bell”

Release date: March 22, 2019

Starring: Julianne Moore, John Turturro, Michael Cera, Brad Garrett, Rita Wilson, Sean Astin, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Holland Taylor, Caren Pistorius

Directed by: Sebastian Lelio

Run time: 1 hour, 42 minutes

Rated: R

What it’s about: Gloria Bell is a 50-something divorcee who meets a man in a nightclub, but their relationship is complicated by issues including their adult children.

How I saw it: Julianne Moore IS “Gloria Bell.” Chilean director/writer Sebastian Lelio remade his own movie, the Spanish-language “Gloria” (2013), in part because Moore lobbied for him to rework the film for an American audience. He reportedly reluctantly agreed, and here’s guessing he’s glad Moore wanted this role. She is perfect for it, and her performance as the seemingly carefree (though lonely) Gloria carries a film that is pleasant and has some subtle laughs but is a movie about ordinary people trying to handle ordinary life situations.

Gloria Bell is in her 50s and has been divorced for 12 years. She leads a mostly solitary life, singing along to songs from back in “her day” (the 1970s) as she drives to her mundane job with an insurance company. She loves to dance and hangs out in a nightclub that caters to a 50-and-over crowd swaying to the beats of old disco music. She doesn’t seem to mind doing so by herself, though she occasionally finds a dance partner.

She finds more than that when she meets Arnold (John Turturro), a lonely man about her age who has been divorced for about a year. They hit it off, dance, then spend the night together. Soon he is calling her for dates, including at an amusement park he owns that includes paintball (Arnold is a veteran and gun advocate) and bungee jumping – perfect to liven up Gloria’s life. They seem to be on the road to love, and because both seem so deserving of it, we are rooting for them.

But dating in your 50s is not easy (what with all the baggage that tends to gather in more than five decades), and that proves to be the case for Gloria and Arnold. She has an adult son (Michael Cera) who has a baby but no idea where its mother is. Gloria also has an adult daughter (Caren Pistorius) who teaches yoga and is about to have a baby with her Swedish surfer boyfriend, and she plans to move to his homeland. Gloria also has an obnoxious drunk ex-husband (Brad Garrett). But her life is peaceful compared to Arnold’s. He has two adult daughters who are too dependent on him. If they or his ex-wife call, he answers no matter the situation and tends to drop what he is doing to go to their rescue. He also has a habit of running out on Gloria, and she has a habit of taking him back. Their relationship is, like many relationships, messy.

Don’t expect any great twist here. “Gloria Bell” is a straightforward narrative shot in a wonderfully ordinary way (no hand-held shakiness or fish-eye lenses and). It shows two people in their 50s living their lives, and that’s about it.

Moore makes sure the film does not need much more than that. Turturro is outstanding in the role of Arnold, and it’s great to see him get a leading-man role in a romance. But, make no mistake, this is Moore’s movie, and a film that centers on women. The men don’t fare well here. At one point, Gloria tells Arnold to “grow a pair” in dealing with his daughters. Cera’s character seems to be stuck in his slacker phase despite fatherhood having arrived. And Gloria has an upstairs neighbor, a young man we never see, who has issues he expresses loudly and profanely, even in the middle of the night.

Moore is, of course, amazing. She seems so comfortable and easygoing even while playing a character who has a lot of emotions on her plate. When Gloria says, “When the world blows up, I want to go down dancing,” we don’t doubt that she will. She makes mistakes in her life, particularly her dating life, but who doesn’t? She is, like most of us, just sort of feeling her way along, even as she approaches her golden years.

“Gloria Bell” is a refreshing movie in many ways. Gloria is a strong, independent woman who, despite her longing for love, seems to be managing without a man. She’s not the only strong female character here, with Rita Wilson especially noteworthy as Gloria’s friend. It’s also nice to see 50-somethings portrayed in a realistic way, as people who have been around the block a time or two but might have gotten lost along the way. And in more than one scene, Moore, now 58, is shown nude – not in an erotic or exploitive way, but just kind of matter-of-factly, a reminder that people still take off their clothes when the situation calls for it no matter what their age. That kind of realism makes “Gloria Bell” enjoyable, and Moore turns what could have been an ordinary movie into a worthwhile watch.

My score: 80 out of 100

Should you see it? Yes, but you’ll enjoy it infinitely more if you are in the 50-and-over set, and women likely will get more out of it than men.

[scaredtwinkenergy]

Tag!

Rules: If you are tagged, answer the questions (if you want) and tag 10 people you want to learn more about.

Tagged by @felix-the-white-wolf

Star sign: Taurus

Height: 5’7 :’)

Spotify on shuffle, first four songs that pop up: Bitter Fuck by Joji, bellyache by Billie Eilish, Hi High by LOONA, and Emperor’s New Clothes by Panic! At the Disco.

Have you ever had a song or poem written about you: Yes, from an ex.

When is the last time you played guitar: About a year ago, my mom’s friend was in the city and she taught me how to play some chords.

Who is your celebrity crush: Does Garrett Watts count? (Plus Jesse Williams)

What is a sound you hate and a sound you love: I absolutely hate sounds of people rubbing fabric or sandpaper. Also just things scraping on other things in general.

I love the sound of fire crackling, waves, zippers for some reason, people walking with heels, clicking, tapping, heartbeats, and my all time favorite is rain/storms.

Do you believe in ghosts: I don’t really believe in anything paranormal. I used to, but my belief in ghosts has since faded.

What is the last book you read: The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. It was for school, but a good read nonetheless.

Do you like the smell of gasoline: Sometimes I like the smell of gasoline, but most of the time I don’t want it anywhere near me. I guess it depends on my mood.

What is the worst injury you’ve ever had: I got my fingers slammed by a car door when I was little.

Do you have any obsessions right now: If it’s not already clear by my blog— Detroit: Become Human. Also Jacksepticye and Dear Evan Hanson.

Do you tend to hold grudges against people: It depends on the severity of what the person has done. But in general, no— I try my best to forgive people especially if they’re trying to improve.

In a relationship: Nope. I’m single and nOt ready to mingle.

Thanks for reading! I tag @suicide-d0g, @thegremlingames, @karatrash, @connor-the-deviant-rk800, @batsyboi299, @markus-of-detroit, @rk-1k, @rk900isacinnamonrolltoo, @connorsnotalive

[rosewoodmeadow]

MOUNT MEADOW WELCOMES... CODY RHODES!

Welcome to Mount Meadow, Raya! Before you get stuck in, make sure to check out our new members’ checklist. Once this is complete, you have 24 hours to send in your account. We’re so happy that you’re here!

out of character

name: raya

preferred pronoun: she/her

about the resident

celebrity name: Cody Garrett Runnels (Cody Rhodes)

pronouns: he/him

birthday: june 30th, 1985

profession: professional wrestler

housing district: warehouse district

personality: Cody is as genuine as they come. He grew up in the wrestling business so he isn't afraid to stand up for himself and what he wants although it only took him recently to finally figure out what that was. He's a major nerd who will talk your ear off about superheroes, video games and TV shows. Above all, he's a big family man. There's nothing he wouldn't do for his daughter. Everything he does now is for her.

relationship/family: divorced from Brandi Reed. has one daughter called Liberty Iris (born june 18th 2021)

more information

mandatory Why Mount Meadow and what bought you to town?: why mount meadow and what brought you to town? Lot of changes happening in my life right now so figured I'd go all out and move to a new town, too. Back in WWE, newly divorced and a single dad so needed somewhere with a bit of quiet and privacy.

in addition to answering the above question, so we can get to know your celebrity better, create a playlist of 3-5 songs that relates to or describes your celebrity!

Kingdom - Downstait

It's A New Day (The Legacy) - Adelitas Way

Smoke And Mirrors (Cody Rhodes) - Jim Johnston

Emperor's New Clothes - Panic! At The Disco

Centuries - Fall Out Boy

[elizabethhollowswriting-blog]

Soundtrack for your WIP - 1

I was tagged in this by @gold-from-straw and this was both fun and difficult. I do like to come up with playlists for my WIP stories, but that also takes time for me to do. So this involved me going out of my way to create it, heh.

A snippet of your work in progress

The theme song for your WIP

The theme song for your protagonist

The theme song for your antagonist

The theme song for your protagonist’s love interest (if they have one)

The theme song for the main pairing of your WIP

The theme song for the opening chapter (if it’s a long fic)

Song for the current chapter/page (if it’s a long fic)

Any other songs you’d like to mention and why

I’m gonna do two WIP’s this one is a vampire/human homosexual romance that I’ve had on my list to work on for a while but was struck by inspiration recently. It has a tentative title of “Your Last Resort“ and only has about 1,400 words written at the moment.

A snippet of your work in progress:

When Lucian was finished explaining the vampire nodded and walked over to Nathan. He placed a thin hand on Nathan’s shoulder as he informed the men behind Nathan with a crisp, cultured accent, “The house of Jacquet will accept Mr Swann’s debt.” He gestured to the left at a female vampire. “If you follow her, she will process the transaction while I prepare Mr Swann.”

Nathan had no warning as the vampire’s hand gripped him tighter and pulled him to his feet as if he weighed little more than a child; still reeling from their acceptance, Nathan didn’t fight the vampire. His obedience made it easy to be directed past the chair where Lucian sat, the vampire clan leader was still imposing and cold, but his eyes lingered on Nathan until he was out of view. Nathan just nervously darted his eyes over his surroundings; there were more vampires than he’d noticed initially, they were lingering in the shadowed corners of the room, talking lowly or watching the proceedings. There were  humans as well, some had serving dishes, others were lingering by a vampire, waiting for orders. There were two just standing in front of what seemed to be thick black curtains but as Nathan was led closer by the vampire’s firm hand on his shoulder, the two humans hurriedly pulled the fabric aside with bowed heads. It was beyond obvious that by their simple clothing and submissive gestures that all of them were human servants.

Something Nathan had a good chance of becoming.

The hallway that they stepped into was lit by lanterns that were hanging from the roof or built into the walls. Paintings and tapestries also decorated the walls while the carpet was thick under Nathan’s feet. The room felt old despite being in a relatively new building. He didn’t know if it was a testament to the five centuries Lucian had lived or if it was a decor that all vampires instinctively craved for their courts; shadowed, antiquated and oppressive. 

When the curtains fell closed behind them, further sealing Nathan into the debt and control of a vampire clan, he felt cold sweat break out over his skin. The hallways also took on a more intimidating, fearful edge as without windows, or doors that weren’t guarded by humans with a vampire liable to walk around every corner, he was well and truly trapped.

And worse than that, even if he did run, Nathan had nowhere he could go.

The theme song for your WIP:

Need You Tonight - INXS. This could also count as a pairing song buuuut I think it fits the mood of the story very well XD

The theme song for your protagonist:

Downfall of Us All - A Day to Remember. This is very fitting for Nathan, showing his optimism and drive and how things go wrong, but he’s going to rise above it. He’s going to move forward and out.

The theme song for your antagonist: 

The story doesn’t really have an “antagonist” as such, the closest would be the protagonist’s ex best-friend and former business partner, Garrett. This song would fit for him: Money - Pink Floyd

The theme song for your protagonist’s love interest (if they have one): 

Viva La Vida - Coldplay. Lucian is a very tired, lonely old vampire whose disenchanted despite his supportive court around him. This fits him very well.

The theme song for the main pairing of your WIP:

I’m going with one from each since that seems the most fitting thing to do!

Nathan: Damn Regret - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Lucian: I Don't Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith

The theme song for the opening chapter (if it’s a long fic)// Song for the current chapter/page (if it’s a long fic):

Time to Dance - Panic! at the Disco. You have to squint a little to make this work. It also fits for other planned chapters too. I’m also on the first chapter, so I’m combining this question since I’m having difficulty working out something else, heh.

Any other songs you’d like to mention and why:

Last Resort - Papa Roach. It does not fit this story but because of the title, I always get it in my head, so it bares mentioning for that reason ^^;

I tag @staglynxspider, @sparcina annnnd anyone else who wants to join in :) 

Hopefully I’ll have the soundtrack for my other WIP posted in the coming days, just need to find a few more songs!

[g4yr4t]

passed a 28% check to further examine the body, only to fail ANOTHER 92% check to take the bullet out of the guy's throat

[lunapaper]

The year was 2010. Emo was just starting to die out (long live the scene). I was studying to become a secondary school teacher, and Katy Perry was shooting whipped cream out of her boobs...

Second albums, more often than not, fail to live up to the hype. And yet, Teenage Dream has somehow endured.

While Perry’s 2008 debut, One of the Boys, launched her into the mainstream, it really hasn’t aged all that well. On tracks like ‘Self Inflicted’ and ‘Fingerprints,’ she tries way too hard to emulate Paramore’s bold pop punk. On others, she attempts to rebel against her gospel roots by turning the bawdiness up to 10.

It can also come off pretty juvenile at times. The singer was almost 25 when she sang on the title track: ‘So over the summer, something changed/I started reading Seventeen and shaving my legs/And I studied Lolita religiously/And I walked right in to school and caught you staring at me.’

But let’s be honest: Even though it’s been declared ~problematic~, you still jam out to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ when you hear it, don’t you? I hadn’t listened to ‘Ur So Gay’ before this, either, but its slinky, jazz-infused vibe absolutely slaps.

Like Teenage Dream is also a product of its time, presenting pop at its most sugary, hook-laden and bombastic. It managed to spawn 5 No.1 singles, the second album in history to do so after Michael Jackson’s Bad, as well as a documentary, Part of Me. There’s even a deluxe edition, cleverly titled The Complete Confection. It was Perry at her peak.

You know the title track, of course. Evoking images of cherry red lipstick, tight denim and driving down an empty highway in summer, Perry desperately clings to the memory of young love, breathlessly pleading ‘don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back.’

‘The One That Got Away,’ meanwhile, is its bittersweet sequel, Perry's lovesick nostalgia now tinged with regret. Yet, the only thing I really remember about the song is the video starring Cassian Andor himself, Diego Luna, as Perry’s past love, the beautifully dishevelled and tortured artist of my dreams (Dear God, that penetrating stare...) He’s also the only reason why anyone bothered to watch Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, if it wasn’t already obvious.

First single ‘California Gurls,’ on the other hand, is pure pop exuberance at its most campy and carefree, indicative of a more innocent time when it wasn’t driven by algorithms or social media. ‘Firework’ is still a go-to empowerment anthem for just about every kind of montage imaginable. ‘ET’ (featuring a pre-’presidential’ Kanye) is heavily-synthesised cyber pop that doesn’t get nearly enough love.

But Teenage Dream, in retrospect, has quite a few misses. ‘Peacock’ is just one big, long, glitchy dick joke. ‘Not Like The Movies’ is big ballad schmaltz. The brassy soft rock of ‘Hummingbird Heartbeat,’ meanwhile, opens with a hell of a line: ‘You make me feel like I'm losing my virginity/The first time, every time when you're touching me.’ And I’m pretty sure ‘What Am I Living For?’ is partly plagiarised from Justin Timberlake’s ‘My Love.’ Even Pitchfork awarded Teenage Dream a rather tame 6.8 in their recent retrospective review.

By the time Perry released Prism in 2013 – her ‘darker, moodier’ record - she had shifted further into ‘inspirational anthems.’ There was the inescapable mega-hit ‘Roar,’ the saccharine power ballad ‘Unconditionally’ and the Eastern-tinged ‘Legendary Lovers,’ complete with wellness and spiritual motifs.

But it wasn’t without its bangers: ‘Dark Horse’ (featuring Juicy J) jumped onto the trap pop bandwagon just in time with its subterranean bass and eerie, otherworldly synths. Even the slick, 90s-indebted ‘This Is How We Do’ has a certain charm.

Prism also marked the point where Perry’s invincibility began to wear off. Where the masses once lapped up her candy-coated antics, they were now calling her out for wearing braids in the video for ‘This Is How We Do’ and dressing up as a geisha during a performance at the American Music Awards.

And they would only get louder during her era of ‘purposeful pop.’ Released in the aftermath of the 2016 US election, Witness was meant to cement Perry as ‘Artist. Activist. Conscious’ - as her Twitter bio read at the time. She had joined Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail. On Instagram, she was quoting the likes of Socrates and Plato. She was Woke now, and she was telling anyone who’d listen.

Yet you’d be hard pressed to find much trace of this ‘purposeful pop’ on Witness, bar the first single, ‘Chained to the Rhythm.’ Written with Sia and Max Martin, the singer implores listeners to ‘put your rose-coloured glasses on and party on’ amid whirling, colourful synths.

The rest of the record, however, is made up of either soppy, overly sentimental ballads (‘Save As Draft,’ ‘Pendulum,’ ‘Into Me You See’), awkward lyrical turns and CHVRCHES/Purity Ring knock-offs (‘Hey Hey Hey,’ ‘Roulette,’ ‘Deja Vu’).

Funnily enough, Purity Ring’s Corin Roddick produced some of Witness’ better tracks: ‘Mind Maze’ and the soaring ballad ‘Miss You More, along with ‘Bigger Than Me.’

Final track ‘Act My Age,’ meanwhile, feels like a pre-emptive strike against the criticism Witness would inevitably receive (‘They say that I might lose my Midas touch/They also say I may become irrelevant/But who the fuck are they anyway?’).

Then there’s the godawful ‘Bon Appetit’ (featuring Migos) with its food-related double entendres. It was ‘Yummy’ before ‘Yummy’ existed. Seriously, I just wanna see Orlando Bloom say he likes this song with a straight face...

But I will still defend ‘Swish Swish’ to the death. Do the lyrics suck? Yeah, but Perry’s never been the strongest lyricist. But its pulsing 90s house beat does a lot of the heavy lifting, along with Nicki Minaj’s spitfire verse.

The promotional rollout for Witness, meanwhile, proved just as messy. Among the most infamous was a 72-hour livestream, where voyeurs got to witness Perry sleep, meditate, do yoga and welcome a random assortment of guests, including Gordon Ramsey and activist DeRay McKesson. Then there was the meme-laden video for ‘Swish Swish. She literally served herself up on a platter in the clip for ‘Bon Appetit.’ She tried reigniting her feud with Taylor Swift on James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke. Needless to say, it reeked of desperation.

Looking back, though, you can’t help but feel a little bad for Perry, trying so hard to please only for it to blow up spectacularly in her face. So devastated, it sent her to the Hoffman Institute, which offers an abridged version of therapy. As she later told the Guardian:

‘I think the universe was like, ‘OK, all right, let’s have some humble pie here […] My negative thoughts were not great. They didn’t want to plan for a future. I also felt like I could control it by saying, ‘I’ll have the last word if I hurt myself or do something stupid and I’ll show you’ — but really, who was I showing?’

But although Witness lacked the perkiness of Teenage Dream or the cartoonish charm of One of the Boys, it shines best on its darker moments.

‘Dance With The Devil’ has the kind of smoky allure that wouldn’t look too out of place on a BANKS album, while ‘Power’ is a revelation. Produced by Jack Garrett, what could’ve been yet another dull empowerment ballad is turned into a gritty, groaning slab of vaporwave pop, with sultry sax riffs that sample, of all things, Smokey Robinson’s ‘Being With You.’ It’s electric as fuck. You believe it when Perry sings: ‘’Cause I'm a goddess and you know it/Some respect, you better show it/I'm done with you siphoning my power.’

If the singer had just done away with the whole ‘purposeful pop’ concept and stuck with Garrett, Roddick and Terror Jr’s Felix Snow as her core producing group, Witness probably wouldn’t have been half the failure it was. It could’ve had a chance to grow on people, the kind of slow burn Perry could’ve gotten away with at this point in her career. The cyberpop dystopian feel also could’ve gone hand in hand with her newfound wokeness, echoing people’s fear and anger in the aftermath of Trump’s win. But alas, we’ll never know...

While the rollout for Witness over the top, Smile’s was lacklustre and wildly inconsistent.

First single ‘Never Really Over’ came out a whole 15 months before the release of Smile to little fanfare, along with a hippie-inspired video to match. ‘Harleys in Hawaii’ later followed, which also stuck with the flower power aesthetic. Other singles - ‘Daisies’ and the title track – seemingly came and went without a trace.

So how did Katy Perry get to this point? And is there any chance of coming back?

It’s hard to say. A lot of artists go through a rough patch or two:   Miley's twerking antics divided audiences when she released 2013’s Bangerz. Taylor Swift’s reputation divided audiences. Only in recent years has Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP been vindicated. Such is the nature of music and pop culture in general. It’s fickle, just one vicious cycle after another; an endless quest for trend-bait that'll never end.

Right now, disco pop is going through a renaissance, while hyperpop reigns supreme. Dua Lip and Charli XCX are basically untouchable at the moment. TikTok has taken over from Top 40 radio when it comes to breaking hits, while the gap between album releases has also grown shorter and shorter. Even the nature of fandom has changed, shifting from old-school elitism to the bloodsport that is ‘stanning,’ along with an unhealthy amount of ‘endless simping’ (to quote a close friend of mine).

Perry, meanwhile, has failed to keep up, choosing to play it safe in order to avoid further scrutiny. But in doing so, she strips away the humour, the mischief and other idiosyncrasies that fans fell in love with in the first place.

But what choice did she have? As Junkee’s Sam Murphy notes in his own piece about Perry’s rise and fall:

‘At that point, you have two choices as a popstar — hunt for relevancy or make what comes naturally to you. Perry chose the former and came unstuck. She inserted vague wokeness into her songs as cancel culture infiltrated pop, tacked on rap features as hip-hop became the dominant commercial genre, and worked with producers who may have been able to find her credibility.’

(Full disclosure: I started writing my piece on Perry back in December 2020, so the timing of Murphy’s piece and mine is purely coincidental).

Even if you don’t believe in cancel culture, no one actually wants to be cancelled. It’s just not good for PR, especially for someone with an image as glossy and as carefully put-together as Perry’s. Even now, she continues to atone for Witness, telling the LA Times: ‘Having more awareness and consciousness, I no longer can just be a blissful, ignorant idealist who sings about love and relationships […] Even my travels have afforded me a new perspective on cultures, class systems and the inequality around the world, not just in the United States,’ though she carefully avoids the subject of politics on Smile.

But redemption is possible. Swift – Perry's one-time nemesis - was a total pariah back in 2016, mocked for her Girl Squad, for diddling the Hiddles while on the rebound from Calvin Harris and criticised for remaining coy on her political leanings. Now she’s earning indie cred with two of 2020’s biggest albums, folklore and evermore, and has thrown her support behind a number of social causes.

The devil works hard, but Swift’s PR team work harder. I might not be her biggest fan, but Taylor works Kris Jenner levels of mastery when it comes to rebuilding public sentiment. Thanks to her newfound indie cred, you’ve almost forgotten about the pastel atrocity ‘Me!,’ her 2019 duet with that insufferable drama kid cliché, Brendon Urie. Shifting her songs away from petty grievances to more original storytelling was also a smart move.

But while Swift has managed to move on, Perry seems to have fallen into the same adult contemporary trap as Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera and Pink, one that ensnares many female artists over 30 (Though many have also managed to escape – Gaga, Taylor, Beyonce, Rihanna, Kesha, Robyn...)

As ‘woke’ as the industry and fans at large might think themselves to be, they’re still pretty ageist. There's still an expectation to ‘mature’ your sound as you age, to become more ‘serious.’ No more fun, no more experimenting, boomer. But when you do end up filing away the edges, you’re called dull, generic and past your prime. Perry said as much on the aforementioned ‘Act My Age. You just. can't. win.

And yet, many female artists over 30 have created some of their best work yet in just the past year or so: Hayley Williams made the dramatic shift from pop rock to low-key, Radiohead-inspired tunes on her solo debut, Petals For Armor. Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters was hailed by critics as her most bold, urgent and visceral. Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure? was a cut of understated disco pop elegance. Carly Rae Jepsen, meanwhile, released an equally stellar companion to 2019’s Dedicated.

At this point in her career, Perry could afford to follow a similar path to that of the Canadian singer. Once the meme value of ‘Call Me Maybe’ wore off, along with her mainstream appeal, Jepsen finally had a chance to discover real creative freedom, pushing her sound to greater heights and earning critical acclaim, all without having to compromise her love for catchy hooks and bold synth pop arrangements.

A couple of years ago, a Reddit user made a post about participating in a focus group held by Perry’s label to discuss why she’s ‘no longer one of the[ir] most notable female pop artists,’ and ‘what can [they] do with her image or marketing to make you care about her again?’

It’s depressing to think that an artist as accomplished as her needs a focus group to help solve her identity crisis. There really is no easy answer. Hopefully, Perry will be able to return more vibrant and assured than ever, on her own terms...

-Bianca B.

[norepetitivebeats]

Power Jam Featuring Chill Rob G - The Power (Vocal) (1990)

Another reviewer wrote about the Power Jam Featuring Chill Rob G release of “The Power” on Wild Pitch: "The Original that Snap Ripped-off”. That’s a rather short and misleading history of this record. The Wild Pitch release features the tag line: “A Wild Pitch reconstruction of a Logic reconstruction of a Wild Pitch production by DJ Mark, The 45 King.” So, here’s the extended version of the story: Logic refers to the German label that at the beginning of January 1990 released the 1989 production “The Power” of Frankfurt-based producers Michael Münzing (AKA Benito Benites) and Luca Anzilotti (AKA John Virgo Garrett III). Münzing had been an owner of clubs such as El Cid in Tel Aviv (1977), Eisbär in Frankfurt (1980) and, together with Sven Väth and Matthias Martinsohn the Omen in Frankfurt (1988) which was arguably the birthplace of the German Techno/Rave movement of the 1990s. Working as a DJ,
Münzing incorporated electronic musical instruments in his sets at the legendary Dorian Gray in Frankfurt during the 1980s and used elaborate extended edits of songs which he created by splicing 1/4″ tape.
 Anzilotti started DJing in London but when he moved to Frankfurt in 1982, he was immediately inspired by Michael to buy a Korg MS10 and a Roland TR606. Münzing and Anzilotti start producing their first records together with Väth under the name “OFF” (Organisation For Fun) in 1985 and later (without Väth) under the name “16 Bit”. In 1989, they embark on a Studio project which combines their previous electronic productions, the budding house genre and elements of hip hop, which until then had no place on German radio nor charts and was an underground sound as far as clubs is concerned. Concerned about negative preconceptions of Germans making such music they chose new aliases for the Production credits of the project: Münzing calls himself Benito Benites and Anzilotti becomes John Virgo Garrett III. As an artist name they chose “Snap!” – inspired by a function in their sequencer. The first result of their work was an enormously successful track called “The Power” which trail-blazed a string of successful Euro-Dance releases by cleverly combining mainly pre-existing material with a few added touches: For the beats they sampled a part of Mantronix' 1988 record "King Of The Beats" which in itself is a collage of samples from Rufus Thomas
’ “Do the Funky Penguin”, The Winstons “Amen, Brother”, The Meters’ "Same Old Thing", Kool & The Gang’s “Jungle Jazz”, Pleasure’s “
Celebrate the Good Things”, The Magic Disco Machine’s "Scratchin’", Bob James’ Take Me To The Mardi Gras” and Original Concept
’s “Pump That Bass”. The Mantronix beat used for “The Power” is the section based on the Meters’ tune. There have been no reports about copyright litigation over this, possibly because Mantronix’ own work is sample based. The famous female chorus "I've got the power" is of course Jocelyn Brown sampled from the accapella of her 1985 single “Love's Gonna Get You". Many years later, Jocelyn was still awaiting financial compensation of this unauthorised use of her vocals: In 2009 it was reported that she (together with Warner Brothers) was planning a lawsuit valued at 11.5 million Euro (at the time: $16 million, £10 million) to gain 50% of the global earnings of the Snap track, which has reportedly appeared in more than 500 adverts and films (think Jim Carey’s “Bruce Almighty”, for example). (Search Youtube for "Jocelyn Brown discusses her voice behind SNAP's record "The Power" on BBC1 TV Interview" for an interview with her.) In their defense, the producers of “The Power” have reportedly claimed that the hook is actually not a sample, but a re-recording by a studio singer. In the video for “The Power” a woman called Jackie Harris (Pittsburgh born Jacqeline Arlissa Harris) lip-syncs to the chorus and any other parts of the female vocals. Harris was just a visual stand-in for the studio singer they had used for various tracks on the Snap album that featured “The Power”: Penny Ford (sister of Sharon Redd). Münzing and Anzilotti had tried to hire Chaka Khan for their Snap! Project. At that time (1989) Chaka shared an apartment in London with Penny and told her: "I don't do rap. You know how to do that stuff, you go do it." Penny continues: “And the rest is history. I went to Germany to sing on some stuff I thought I'd never hear again. I sang for three days, collected a fee, and thought I would never hear of it again […] [I]t was more or less [Münzing and Anzilotti ] picking me up by the scruff of my neck like a pit bull and throwing me in the [recording] booth with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of champagne and turning the mike on. That's how it happened. (laughing) And I'd just create. I just sang the first thing that came off the top of my head, because I didn't understand that music, and I didn't think I'd ever have to hear it again. […] I was just making [lyrics] up as I go along.” Some of Penny’s ad libs on “The Power” are for example a rerecording of “Some Love” by Chaka Khan. (Check Youtube for Penny’s original interview with songfacts by searching “Why the real Snap! singer wasn't in the video for The Power”.) The judicial progress of Jocelyn Brown’s and Warner Brother’s claims is unknown, indicating that Brown might have settled out of court. More likely she probably had to accept that, being “simply” the singer of the words “I’ve got the power” she had no enforceable copyright to the songwriting credits of Love's Gonna Get You". That credit goes to Toni Colandreo… It is not known whether anyone apart from those involved in the production of the Snap! recording received any royalty payments. As Penny Ford explains: “Meanwhile, the Germans [Münzing, Anzilotti and Logic] signed with Ariola Munich, who were a sub-company of Arista, which was parented by BMG, Bertelsmann, which is a German company. This was before BMG got to America and it was still RCA in America. […] [The songwriter credits are] still being maneuvered. Basically, what happens is you have people who are published by Sony, you have people who are published by Warner, you have people who are published by BMG or Jive, as I was, and then BMG buys Jive, and then BMG and Sony partner, so where are all these people and where is all the paperwork? So then you have to hire what they call a forensics guy. The have to do CSI: The Musical Version. Which costs money. And if you didn't get your money to begin with, how do you hire a forensics guy? So it's kind of a vicious circle, isn't it?” So, on to the rap then: Session singer Penny Ford, who later became a member of Snap! and toured with the group, explains that Münzing and Anzilotti’s production with the Rob G. vocals “…was the first take of it. They had recorded it and nobody knew it was going to be a hit, and it was long before it was released on any major level. It was a work in progress, and basically what they [later] did was just took him [Rob G.] off of it and put another rapper [Turbo B] on it.” She actually does not refer to Rob G.’s vocals as a sample and explicitly states: “Well, there was a rapper named Chill Rob G, and he had recorded it with them. And I guess he [later] decided that he didn't want to make an alliance with them.” This account seems inaccurate and unreliable, which is understandable, considering that she had just gone to Germany and “sang for three days, collected a fee, and thought I would never hear of it again”. She does not mention ever meeting or witnessing Rob G. recording it for Münzing and Anzilotti. So, here is the more believable and widely documented version: US rapper Chill Rob G, born Robert Frazier, was part of the Flavor Unit collective, which included DJ Mark The 45 King, Lakim Shabazz, and Queen Latifah, among others and received lots of airplay support by DJ Chuck Chillout (98.7 Kiss FM and 107.5 WBLS, in New York City) and especially DJ Red Alert (98.7 Kiss FM, NYC). Before he was signed to any record label he recorded two demo tracks with Mark The 45 King which they passed to Red Alert for airplay. At that time the owner of the newly created Wild Pitch record label, Stu Fine, was looking for artists to sign to his label. He heard the show, called Red Alert and got in touch with Rob G. who agreed to sign his first record deal in 1987. After his solo debut “Dope Rhymes / Chillin’” in 1988 Wild Pitch released Chill Rob G’s second 12�� record in 1989 called “The Court Is Now In Session / Let The Words Flow”. The record was produced by Mark The 45 King and features Vocal, Dub and Acapella versions of both tracks. In an interview in 2006, Rob G says: “…see, I told Mark we shouldn’t keep putting accapellas! I said it, and it happened! ‘If we keep putting accapellas on these records, somebody’s gonna snatch the accapella and make a whole ‘nother record of it’. That’s exactly what they did!” Münzing and Anzilotti sampled four verses of Chill Rob G’s vocals from the Acapella of “Let The Words Flow” and used them as the rap for their Snap! production (as well as two saxophone / horn riffs for good measure…). Rumour has it that Wild Pitch’s Stu Fine had consented to the sample being used in Germany. Rob G. speculates: “I think Stu Fine probably had a deal under the table with Arista records out in Germany, and he actually licensed the record to them – but they didn’t have a deal for the US. So since the record was doing so big out there, Stu came to me as if he had no idea what was going on and he said ‘Yo Rob, let’s put the song out. I mean it’s doing really well in Germany, we might as well make some money out [of] this’. I mean it was me, it was my stuff, so I said ‘Cool, let’s do it’. So we put the song out” on a Wild Pitch12inch credited to Power Jam Featuring Chill Rob G. and on Rob G.’s debut album “Ride the Rhythm”. Chill Rob G.’s own 12” of “The Power” on Wild Pitch features no background vocals to replace Penny Ford part on the Snap! release. The only female voice heard on the Mark The 45 King production is the Jocelyn Brown sample though the Wild Pitch cassette from 1990 (which I haven’t heard myself) credits “additional vocals” to a certain “Kim Davis”. The notion that Power Jam was another moniker for Münzing and Anzilotti is discredited by the remarks that can be found on the Wild Pitch vinyl and cassette releases: “A Wild Pitch reconstruction of a Logic reconstruction of a Wild Pitch production by DJ Mark, The 45 King.” and “a Wild Pitch reconstruction mixed by Nephie Centeno / original production by DJ Mark, the 45 King”, respectively. Meanwhile, Snap’s “The Power” started to blow up in more and more countries outside Germany. Rob G. recalls: “…and then the next thing you know Arista Records decided that they wanted to put it out over here [in the US] too, but since they couldn’t use me – they couldn’t just put out the same record [Münzing and Anzilotti’s production with the Rob G. sample] – that’s when they got Turbo B to go in the studio […] Turbo B, born Maurice Durron Butler on 30 April 1967, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA used to be a drummer in a heavy-metal band. He enlisted with the US Army in July 1985 and eventually was sent to Friedberg, Germany to join the 60th Ordnance Company in Ray Barracks. After completing his service in the Army he returned to the USA but went back to Germany shortly thereafter to tour with The Fat Boys doing Human Beatboxing. He eventually stayed in Germany and in the late 80s joined the “We wear the Crown“ crew in Frankfurt, another member of which was a certain Moses Pelham. Pelham adopts the stage name “Moses P.” under which he records his solo debut “Twilight Zone” as well as Ay - Ay - Ay (What We Do For Love)” with Rico Sparx, both for Münzing and Anzilotti . When the need arises to release and promote “The Power” internationally Münzing and Anzilotti have to address the problem that Wild Pitch is releasing the Mark The 45 King reconstruction of their song in the USA with Chill Rob G adding newly recorded verses and that they themselves are missing a face for the rapper in the Snap! video needed to promote “The Power” adequately. Looking at their roster and wider circle of potential contributors they identify Turbo B as a suitable replacement just as they find a replacement for Penny Ford in Jackie Harris, Turbo B.’s cousin. The commercial success of their Arista backed single is enormous around the world while the Wild Pitch single in comparison remains an ill promoted independent release. As Rob G. says: “it was Arista records versus Wild Pitch Records, you know what I’m sayin’? So Wild Pitch lost – big time. ‘Cause Arista was global and Wild Pitch was like “Who’s Wild Pitch?” I was still running around, doing what I could do to help our cause, but we just couldn’t beat that money, man.” Over the years this changes in certain circles: Being on a highly regarded label from Hip Hop’s “Golden Age” and being one of a handful of releases by Chill Rob G. some hip hop aficionados hold his version in higher regards. Due to the popularity of Rob’s flow and Mark’s raw(er) production amongst Hip Hop cognoscenti the Power Jam version has been put on a pedestal by some commentators who are concerned about preserving “the true art form”. They dismiss Turbo B.’s rap as a failed attempt to sound similar Rob G. while adding some dubious rhymes of his own lines, like “Maniac brainiac winning the game / I'm the lyrical Jesse James” as well as “so please, stay off my back / Or I will attack and you don't want that” and ironically "copywritten lyrics so they can't be stolen". Turbo B’s commercial success under Münzing’s and Anzilotti’s production is unquestionable. It is interesting though that on what is supposedly the “Official Snap!/Turbo B. Website” his accolades reach the climax in this story from The Universal Zulu Nations 30th Anniversary (October 2003 in Harlem): “Turbo B. was pleasantly surprised when after [the] announcement of him and his accomplishments, he received a standing ovation to the strands of "The Power" by Hip Hop's elite, and AFRIKA BAMBAATAA (in full view of MELLE MEL, one of Turbo's chief inspirations) personally inducted him into The Universal Zulu Nation...” Source for Penny Ford quotes: http://m.songfacts.com/blog/interviews/penny_ford_of_snap_/ Source for Chill Rob G. quotes: http://www.unkut.com/2006/12/chill-rob-g-interview-part-1/ Source for Turbo B quote: http://www.angelfire.com/tn3/universalgroupnj/snapbio.html 

- Yemsky via discogs.com January 19, 2012

[mst3kproject]

The Capture of Bigfoot

Yep, another Bigfoot movie, this one written and directed by Bill 'Giant Spider Invasion' Rebane.  As far as I can tell, nobody in it was ever on MST3K, but for some reason it does have a whole bunch of people who were in Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS, along with George 'Buck' Flower, whom you may remember (if you remember him at all) as the park bench bum in the Back to the Future movies.  Above and beyond that, it's just intensely riffable. There's barely a shot that doesn't invite comment, and should you watch it, you'll be hearing the bots' voices the whole time.  What do you think: would it be Crow or Tom who would draw our attention to the gas pumps that look like a snow Ku Klux Klan in the background of one scene?

A couple of trappers have captured a baby Bigfoot, which naturally pisses off its mother – it kills one of the trappers and injures the other, fortunately without hurting any of the adorable samoyeds pulling their sled.  The dogs take the injured trapper home, where he dies without revealing what happened to him, but Harvey Olson thinks he knows.  He's been hunting Bigfoot for twenty years, and now that he's sure the creature is in the area, he hires every hunter in town to try to catch the beast.  Bigfoot, however, is also the protector of the local native people, who call it Arak (the SOL crew would have made so many jokes about 'the Legend of a Rock'), and they enlist Forest Ranger Garrett to foil Olson's plans.

Samoyeds are my favourite dog.  They look like somebody blow-dried a polar bear.

This movie's Bigfoot also looks like somebody blow-dried a polar bear, but it is marginally better than the one in Shriek of the Mutilated. Seeing as Shriek of the Mutilated's Bigfoot was literally a guy in a furry costume in the movie, that is not a compliment.  Capture's creature is even worse than Cry Wilderness', never believable as anything but a guy in a Hallowe'en costume.  Of some note is that the costume department gave Bigfoot white fur, when almost everybody who actually claims to have seen the creature has supposedly said it was black or brown, but perhaps we're meant to think they turn white in the winter like rabbits do. The beast's call is just somebody yelling “BLEAAAAAAAAAGH!”

While The Capture of Bigfoot does ostensibly have a plot, it's mostly just a monster movie – people wander around the woods, and Bigfoot kills them.  It kills the two trappers that captured the baby.  A third trapper sits down in his tent after collecting the day's game, and Bigfoot bashes his head in.  Two tourists leave the hotel to either have sex or go skiing, and Bigfoot mauls the guy while the girl screams.  The only slightly interesting thing that's done with the formula is that when it becomes clear that the creature has a grudge against the pair of hunters who shot at its offspring, Olson decides to use them as bait to trap it... but even that's pretty lame.

The characters are a collection of clichés.  There's a precocious kid who makes friends with the creature (perhaps this is a prequel to Cry Wilderness?). There's ranger Dave Garrett, who's well-meaning but kind of a putz and nobody listens to him.  There's Jake the Trapper, an old drunk everybody laughs at but really the only guy who knows the truth.  The Sheriff is a dim bulb whose 'quirk' is that he does a Humphrey Bogart impression.  Daniels is a Wise Old Indian.  Olson is a rich ugly guy who makes weird faces when he talks, which makes him a very early entry in the Donald Trump School of Movie Villainy.

For all the talk about how the creature is the protector of the local tribe's dead and must not be captured or killed for this reason, there is only one ostensible Native in the movie, Daniels.  His function in the plot is to give Garrett some information and a talisman that will prevent Bigfoot from harming him.  That's really all the entire concept of 'Native Americans' represents in this movie: a source of legend and magic, not allowed to actually do anything because action is for white guys (as I mentioned, even Bigfoot is white in this movie).  It's also really weird how the script can't decide if Daniels speaks English.  He and Garrett appear to have a conversation alone at one point, though we don't hear any of it, but when he turns up later in the film he speaks his own language and Jake the trapper has to translate.  In this same scene, Jake remarks that it would be 'more like an Indian' for Daniels to have shot them both rather than to sneak up and rescue them, which seems very distasteful coming from somebody who is supposedly Daniels' only friend.

Although Garrett is technically our protagonist, he's really a very reactive character – things happen, and he responds to them.  This was probably unavoidable, since it is his job to respond to animal issues in the area, but it makes him seem passive and uninteresting.  The proactive character is the villain, Mr. Olson.  His quest to find proof of Bigfoot, dead or alive, is what moves the story along.  He states over and over that he's been hunting the beast for years, and yet we never find out why. His stated reason is that it will make him rich, but this seems like only a justification for his obsession.  If he'd seen it and was disbelieved, or if it killed somebody he knew, that would make sense, but we don't get any backstory for him.  Outside of this, however, he is probably the person we get to know best, and he’s the one who has an arc.  He starts off as the type of villain who thinks he's not being villainous if he has other people do things for him.

Olson does not go out to look for Bigfoot himself – he hires others to do that for him, even as they laugh at him in the belief that they're ripping him off by accepting his money to hunt something that doesn't exist.  Although it seems at first that he plans to shoot Jake and Garrett for following him, he does not have the stomach to commit or order a murder, and has them tied to a tree to freeze to death instead.  The only thing he does himself is spring the trap he's had set for the creature, as his monomania would not allow somebody else to do that.  It must be he, and he alone, who 'captures' it, no matter how much help he had in setting up the trap.

But once he has the creature in a cage, Olson goes, as one of the hunters observes, completely over the edge.  His success seems to have made him feel invincible, and while earlier he was cautious about both the law and the wilderness, he now does things like run Jake down with his car.  He would not murder this man a few hours earlier, but now he no longer cares.  Shortly thereafter he attempts to form  an armed posse to murder Garrett, too, and runs off to do it himself when this plan fails.  Now that he's in this position of power, Olson cannot tolerate anybody who might knock him down from it.

There is one weird scene that doesn't seem to have a place in this arc, when early in the movie Olson literally throws a man who has displeased him out a window.  I think this is supposed to establish him as physically formidable, but considering his age and the shape he's in, it's merely ludicrous.  Besides, what idiot throws a man through a window in the middle of what a radio broadcast claims is one of the coldest winters on record?  I guess the answer is 'a rich idiot', but the whole thing is still really, really dumb.

Also a little odd is Olson's death.  In a movie like this you would probably expect him to be killed by the creature, as nature and legend take revenge on an arrogant human who failed to respect them. Or maybe he'd be arrested and thrown in jail for all the crimes his arrogance led him to commit, both by proxy and, at this point, in person.  Instead, however, Olson accidentally shoots a barrel of gasoline that, as far as I can tell, was only in the room so that this could happen, and dies in the resulting explosion.  This is the sort of thing that makes me think Bill Rebane has no idea how stuff like character arcs work... he just throws together whatever he thinks is cool and films it.

I spent most of my review of Cry Wilderness pondering the mythical versus real status of Bigfoot, and what it was supposed to represent in that movie.  The Capture of Bigfoot does kind of the same thing.  Its Bigfoot is at once a real animal that eats and reproduces, and a spirit being that leads souls to the afterlife.  Daniels, the last of his people, is unable to die until Bigfoot is free to take him away.  The creature must not be captured because that would bring it out of this ambiguous space into the real world, where it does not belong.  I wish the movie had expanded on these ideas a little... what happens, for example, once Daniels is dead?  The mythical aspect of Bigfoot then has no more purpose.  Does the creature, too, simply disappear?  Does it become nothing but an animal?  At the end Bigfoot and its offspring just wander off into the woods and the credits roll.

All things considered, with its stereotyped characters, its dumb plot, and its racism, Capture of Bigfoot is pretty dull.  Most of the movie is just people crunching around in the snow.  There's a ski race that has no bearing on the plot, and a similarly pointless party scene that serves to show us a woman in a skin-baring outfit shakin' her stuff to an appallingly awful disco song called Sensuous Tiger.  Nothing here is half as much fun as the spidermobile or the over-the-top rednecks of The Giant Spider Invasion, and like that movie, Capture of Bigfoot ends pretty much immediately after the threat is defeated.  No denoument, no closure of subplots.

It's cheap.  It sucks.  It'd be good for an MST3K episode, but not for much else.

[tinymixtapes]

Feature: 2017: Favorite Labels

When I was a shithead high school kid playing in my first punk rock band, I’m pretty positive that my cohorts and I dedicated much more time to hanging out in a Denny’s booth sketching logos and fine-tuning our astoundingly under-researched shortlists of the record labels that would ideally release our first earthshaking longplayer than we ever dedicated to, ya know, “writing” and “practicing” songs. But strangely, I don’t think this sort of thing happened because we were “lazy.” I think it’s because, a lot of times, the brand name counts even more than the music does. And I guess we all kinda understood that, even back then. Sure, we may all walk around our lives most of the time pretending like our choices and justifications are all pure and internally driven… but — as the introductory statements to three solid years’ worth of these Favorite Labels lists all ably point out — that shit is a straight-up hallucination. What we all really need at the end of the day is to feel assured that we’re part of a bigger story. We want those choices backed up by some weird, impossibly infallible guarantee. On a grand scale, this whole project represents nothing less than the most utterly serious of metaphysical business: nothing and no one stands on their own. Individuals are forgotten. Lines have endpoints. Organisms wither and die. We see this. We know this. We hate this. Brands, on the other hand, endure. Those glorious abstractions known as “classifications,” “families,” “institutions,” and so on can’t be killed. In other words, we’re not just talking comfort here; we’re talking Immortality. But even on the level of our day-to-day exploitation and/or enjoyment of culture, it holds true. For example, even now, as I try to reconstitute the narrative, some of my favorite records of 2017 didn’t just “come out.” They “came out as editions on Sean McCann’s Recital program.” As a writer, I found it downright difficult to parse and explain the evolution of certain monikers without using Hospital Productions as a scaffolding or to discuss this-or-that artist without shouting-out Posh Isolation. And I’ve got to fess up to the fact that, as a fan, I attended several shows and bought several records based on their Don Giovanni tag alone. Is any of this compulsive brand-association particularly justified or fair? Objectively, no, I guess not. But that’s exactly the point: categorizing frail, transient little things into grand structures that transcend the worth of each of those little peons when tallied individually not only provides a nice distraction, but it also helps cocoon us — however temporarily and delusionally — in a cozy and structured-yet-flexible hammock rather than leaving us all sailing naked through the silent, freezing, soulless, limitless, and immeasurable depths of deep space at a million miles an hour. So, um, if it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll just go head and keep clinging like grim death to all the delusional institutions I can get my mammalian hands on. In fact, here’s 14 or so that you might find handy too. Take ’em or leave ’em. –Dan Smart --- Noumenal Loom [$EGA & THE RAINBOW STREETS · TOIRET STATUS · PASCALE PROJECT] Since 2013, Noumenal Loom, run by Garrett Crosby, a.k.a. Holly Waxwing, out of Birmingham, Alabama, has been pogoing around the globe to gather together all sounds exciting and excitable. So far, the label has pepped us way up with seminal releases by aggregative electronic wizards Foodman, Giant Claw, and Seth Graham, while concurrently winding down with gentle albums from the lovably chill likes of Tuluum Shimmering and Angel Dust Dealers. Their 2017 roster opened with an addictively danceable cassette from DJ Voilà, and whether the label has been exploring techno, funk, smooth jazz, or muzak, it’s been an idea of bodily movement that has unified all of this year’s tapes and albums. We’ve window-shopped with Haha Mart and loosened into a swaying groove with Jasper Lee and Earthly. Bouncy releases from Pascale Project and $3.33 scrubbed the dance floor clean, and, to round out the year, the label just dropped two back-to-back bath bombs by $ega & The Rainbow Streets, a new project from Kenji Yamamoto, and some mind-boggling impishness from Toiret Status. Amidst all kinds of paralyzing madness outside, spaces and sounds that invite such movement feel distinctly joyful and freeing. –Cookcook --- Hands in the Dark [BYRON WESTBROOK · BRIAN CASE · MATT JENCIK] Even French label Hands In the Dark’s name dallies with the corporeal, alluding to a sense beyond the visible, a prickle or a tickle when the lights are off. Label founder Morgan Cuinet has compiled a walloping roster of experimental artists whose work mines the occult affect of sub-bass, the pilomotor reflex to binaural wizardry, and the pineal proprioception to the encounter between ambie(/a)nce and the human ear. It’s hardly a surprise, then, that the artists represented — among them Matt Jencik, Brian Case, and Byron Westbrook — positively bodied the electronic music scene in 2017. Even from the pirouetting opening seconds of Westbrook’s “Dance and Free Fall,” the opening track off Body Consonance, tendrils of sound coagulate and consummate with the ear, consonate with the flesh, palpitate along with the temple’s pulse. Mastered by Helmut Erler and TMT favorite Rashad Becker at Berlin’s Dubplates & Mastering, these delicately fashioned transmissions massage and clench, stimulating the viscera and churning the gut. Hands in the Dark has quietly built a catalog of ambient music with gumption, a dance music for the synapses and for the goosebumps. The future is now: forget your antidepressants and anhedonia. With hands and feet and neck and back — in the dark or in the light — we’re getting sensual. –Benjamin Eckman Bieser --- Nyege Nyege Tapes [RIDDLORE · OTIM ALPHA · MAKAVELI] Luck’s acute attribute is having enough faith in letting go of the good and/or bad; a bird shits your in hair: half-think you won the lottery, but you keep thinking, a bird shit in my hair. Communication will forever be sharpened through adverse arts. Nyege Nyege Tapes bugged on 2017 with some excellent cultural deep-dive for listeners to gnash. What hit first was the jux-flow of “Ukuti” by Disco Vumbi. Immediately after, Riddlore’s Afromutations banged so hard, listeners lost direction of “Why?” and pursed immediate: “What timeline does Nyege Nyege Tapes abide by?” The third release defined another unique MC’s entry, Gulu City Anthems by Otim Alpha, baring a certain soul that comes more with the certainty of songwriting than production. Mysterians’s Joyride on Judgment Day was a gem that power-washed nodes on a level of intellect we won’t find until all the pieces of blasted-ambience have fit. But most importantly, Sounds of Sisso vibes on such a level of reappropriative, cultural instinct, one forgets to even find the magnitude of hype, purely grappling at the textures of rhythm. Nyege Nyege Tapes defines the stripped-down airfare to where prestige and lister-expansion take the next step. –C Monster --- Recital Program [ROGER ENO · DICK HIGGINS · MARY MAZZACANE] Whatever happened to the classics? Did we just get over them? Or rather, did they get over us? Is it still possible to remain just a little bit old-fashioned in a world that’s progressing at an exponential rate, when what happened even yesterday is archaic, forgotten, meaningless? For one, maybe study up on Sean McCann’s Recital Program, which spent yet another year shattering the glass walls between “high” and “low” art, proving again that everything is fascinating if we just look a little closer. Between exploring the lost lineage of the Mazzacane/Connors family, exposing the ever-tumbling wordplay of Dick Higgins, and issuing regal, flowing piano works from the likes of Michael Vincent Waller and Roger Eno, Recital kept its cool amidst a musical landscape that continues to self-implode. In reclaiming the opulent world of the classical for the underground of today, McCann’s label creates its own sort of beautiful order out of chaos, a theater in which the mundane and the ornate can freely converse and even trade places for a while if they so choose, unshackled from the class boundaries that so often keep the two camps railing against one another. Whatever happened to the classics? They’re living among us now. –Sam Goldner --- Music from Memory [BENE FONTELES · DUB OVEN · GAUSSIAN CURVE] “Music from Memory” is a misnomer and double entendre both. The records released by the Amsterdam label can’t be from memory in its most common meaning, simply because they have almost never been heard by “the masses” before. The music does, however, come from what could be called a place of memory. It has the ability to instill nostalgia for mysteries, to create attachments to unlived experiences. What started with the phenomenal Vito Ricci full-length in 2015 and was constituted with the Dip In The Pool reissue in 2016 has, this year, become a stalwart of archival transcendence. Although it’s often titled a “reissue label,” every 2017 release out of Music from Memory feels incredibly new. Psychedelic Brazilian music comps feel dime-a-dozen these days, but 2017’s Outro Tempo pillars over them all. The clunky disco of Dutch DJ Richenel feels a step ahead of contemporary house nostalgics. What the label provides is a sort of one-way mirror, looking at a past that was dreaming of its future. The attention to detail and arduous curation that goes into every record from Music from Memory highlights not where we went wrong, but what was done right. –E. Fosl --- The Worst [MINOGAME · X.NTE · ANCIENT ORIGIN] The Worst couldn’t be more misnamed. Since January, the Tennessean netlabel has birthed a baker’s dozen of the squelchiest/geekiest/sugar-sludgiest breakcore the bowels of SoundCloud have to offer. Spearheaded by visual-artist-cum-producer Minogame, the imprint functions as the post-internet era’s answer to the Smithsonian Folkways, cataloguing cyberpunk transmissions from the web’s uncharted territories: aside from surface-level nods to Warp’s cheeky humor and penchant for cluttered drum-breaks, much of the label’s output represents the hyper-individualism within a late-capitalist state that has driven us deep into our own curated aesthetics for solace. The aforementioned Minogame’s a tribe of one, signified by their Lascaux-like scribblings and math-rock source material. The prolific Ancient Origin is also a culture unto itself, one informed as much by Animal Crossing’s pastoral tradition as it is by mid-aughts crunk mixtapes. Visit The Worst’s Bandcamp, click a record cover, and assimilate: this is an expansive charting a miniature world. –Jude Noel --- Profound Lore [BELL WITCH · SANNHET · FULL OF HELL] I’ll be real: last year, I hadn’t heard of Profound Lore Records. Sure, I knew a ton of their past releases, like those of Krallice, Altar of Plagues, and Nadja, but I wasn’t fully conscious of the brilliant and gnarled web that tied them all together. The fateful moment that changed all that was the December release of Ash Borer’s superb The Irrepassable Gate, which was one of the most truly badass black metal records I’d heard in years. I became obsessed, and I started paying attention to Profound Lore (run by the great Chris Bruni). Enter 2017. I came into this year ready to chomp on anything Profound Lore released, and what a fucking year they’ve had. Pallbearer’s Heartless was a thrilling, prog-tinged doom journey that was as compelling as anything the band has done. Full Of Hell’s Trumpeting Ecstasy was an impeccably produced and excellently paced grindcore album, one of the year’s best in the genre. And then there was Loss’ magical doom odyssey Horizonless, whose grizzly howls brought an appropriate sense of melancholic yearning for listeners in 2017. And let’s not forget Sannhet’s aggressive and relentless So Numb, a refreshingly powerful exercise in instrumental metal. But, in my opinion, Profound Lore’s crowning achievement for the year was Bell Witch’s Mirror Reaper, a breathtaking, bass-laden drive through the great beyond via glacial doom metal. The label capped the year off with this month’s epically unsettling 7xLP Rainbow Mirror by Prurient, a release that delivered a whole new set of mysteries and moods for us to relish as we slide gracefully into 2018. I raise my glass to you now, Profound Lore, as I have many times in my life, whether knowingly or unknowingly. You have brought a significant amount of beautiful music into the world this year. Thank you. –Adam Rothbarth --- End of the Alphabet [AKE · OMIT · MARHAUS AND MEEK] I have often wondered the existential meaning behind Noel Meek’s End of the Alphabet label. I can conjure many shortsighted missives about the location of New Zealand, the idea of the letters X, Y, and Z being largely ignored and underused, or perhaps the notion that those same letters are quite weird and therefore loosely lumped together. So I’ll stick to a combination of all three, which is why EotA is such an ear-opening experience. Whether it’s via Meek’s own releases and collaborations, or those spotlighting both his New Zealand and its surrounding — and equally ignored — regional sounds. Considering how stuck Western culture seems to be, I’d rather delve into the XYZs of our globe than the ABCs. –Jspicer --- MOTOR Collective [KLEIN & LACK · SABERTOOTH · R. GAMBLE] Tucked away in the fogs of the Pacific Northwest, this year the gang at MOTOR Collective did not “break through” so much as further refine their version of dance music — moody, spacious, and deep, yet grounded enough that you can actually move to it. MOTOR releases (as well as their excellent parties and podcasts) feel less like music for the club as we know it and more like the jump-off point for some head-trip gathering in the forest; the sense of a group yearning for this vision carries across records as varied as R Gamble’s Realistic Spaces and Heidi Sabertooth’s The Hear Of Now (both highlights for the year). That you can still hear the tape hiss on many digital versions of MOTOR tracks (as opposed to the hyperreal, LOL-perfect rendering of so much modern electronic music) speaks to what the label is going for. Like mighty ponderosa left in the rain, it’s imperfect and gently warped, still sturdy, and full of personality. –Dylan Pasture --- PERMALNK [DETENTE · LEO HOFFSAES & LOTO RETINA · BENOIT B] The Parisian label PERMALNK has been offering what it calls an “empathetic image of the world” since 2014, but it wasn’t until this year, with three strong releases, that it brought that image into clearer focus. The empathy of DETENTE’s Basic Dwell is reserved for the world’s smoldering and static-charged bits, where its energy is locked up, and from whence it manifests in stuttering impact and action-movie fidelity, accompanied by the grungy tremolo of guitar. Léo Hoffsaes and Loto Retina collaborated on Early Contact, the intimate story of a woman’s day out with her son and husband as her second child squirms in her belly, with uterine gurgling joining airy string melodies in a duet of nervous anticipation that spreads, as if contagiously, from narrator to listener. Far from both the incidental onslaught of Basic Dwell and the human intimacy of Early Contact, Benoit B’s Ethereal Drops addressed itself to the world as if to a fantastic, New Age-adjacent vision of nature. Its tracks, like the standouts “Sparkling Stream” and “Diamonds Rain,” combined a high, animalistic chirp with pads colored in shades of balearic and trance, constructing an image that, like artist Tavi Lee’s album cover, carries about it a worldly air, even in its bold color palette and surreal bending of the edges of its “natural” forms about one another. In 2017, PERMALNK has accomplished something rare in releasing three albums with little in common aside from an adherence to the label’s noble mission statement and, more importantly, an uncanny coherence as individual works of art. –Will Neibergall --- Posh Isolation [CROATIAN ARMOR · DAMIEN DUBROVNIK · KYO] In some secret file on Loke Rahbek’s hard drive, one can find my full frontal nudes along with a genetalia garden of many other bodies, desecrated and devalued, for they all were exchanged, vulnerability for vulnerability, with a cassette tape of Croatian Amor’s 2014 album The Wild Palms. In the commodification of the world, all things are abstractly identified with an exchange value, where even vulnerability has a value, for the body is as expendable as every other image. Yet, here we give one’s inability to give as a gift — one’s vulnerability. The self-interest of commodity economy is abdicated in preference of a gift exchange. Here, Rahbek creates an artificial space to find other people. Posh Isolation’s forays beyond noise and industrial to lyrical ambient and minimal techno belie industrial music’s foundation in the incommunicable dissonance of the world of industrial capitalism, where seeking to be heard above the din is a project worthy of art. By fetishizing the empty object in the artificial space of performance, this bubblegum industrial forges impossible connections that, though artificial, become pleasurable and therefore real. Through pain directed inward, as if pierced by a great many arrows, we confirm that one’s self is irreducible to the abstract identification of the commodity, as Saint Sebastian his beauty. The ultimate need to make contact snaps one out of artificiality. In 2017, the cold has become a little bit warmer and a sort of sincerity is resuscitated. –Evan Coral --- Don Giovanni [SCREAMING FEMALES · AGUA VIVA · LEE BAINS III & THE GLORY FIRES] What’s opera, doc? Opera is text by tune splitting story, Italian for “work.” Opera is Don Giovanni, some Austrian seraph’s diminishing sevenths flicking humans into shouting until the sound shakes our hearts. Hearts and mouths shout, so listen: Joe Steinhardt and Zach Gajewski played in a bad band at Boston College, made their own 7-inch, and voila: opera via Don Giovanni. It’s music label as New Brunswick new alternative, nixing commercial interruption so artist and audience are fleet free as a Mozart minuet to trade roles and help each other. “Anyone can do anything and not just that, everyone can do everything. No one’s fucking special,” Steinhardt reminds us. In an ashen historical moment, those words are totem for remembering the good work of “nobody lives unless everybody lives.” Don Giovanni is Aye Nako’s rim shot disrupt-punk and the geography-atomizing Lee Bains III & The Glory Fires. It’s Irreversible Entanglements, unmetered jazz outfit as union collective and A Piece of Water, the Buenos Aires tidal pool dream of Agua Viva, a body’s buoyancy over oppression. It’s La Neve’s American Sounds, a non-binary bodying the electric song as new national anthem sans strict script and the breaking “Glass House,” Screaming Female’s yowl of a collective body’s mission to re-member shards of 2017’s ill-reality into something better for every body. The music label model is the original resisting force, the libretto punk show, a two-fold work of labor output and piece created. Don Giovanni refuses repenting like the title character and screams high C’s into hell, a Looney Tunes promise that everything is movable except good work. Don Giovanni is the good work, opera for us by us. No one’s fucking special. Everyone’s fucking special. –Frank Falisi --- Piratón [MINICOMPONENTE · UPGRAYEDD JESSICA · AMAZONDOTCOM] OK, you caught me; Piratón Records isn’t as prolific as some of these other labels. As far as I can tell, it currently only exists as a Bandcamp page, and since its founding in 2015 by Mexico City musician and music journalist Carlos Huerta (a.k.a. Josué Josué), there are only four releases, all available for free streaming with a “name your price” option for download. One of them, Ruido’s 2015 FUN LP, is a totally bonkers instrumental hip-hop/chip-tune/synth punk thing. Two of them are compilations in a series called No hay más fruta que las nuestra, which means, “There is no fruit other than ours,” a play on a quote by Mexican social realist painter David Siqueiros: “No hay mas ruta que la nuestra” (“There is no other route but ours”). This year’s No hay más fruta que la nuestra 2 is why I’m writing this blurb. Like its 2016 predecessor, it features all kinds of music by female artists from Latin America and Spain. TMT favorite (Upgrayedd) Smurphy is on it, along with 11 other incredible ladies whose work spans pop, punk, rap, techno, and folk. It’s basically all I’ve listened to this year (besides, like, DAMN. and A Crow Looked At Me, so you know it’s good but ultimately responsible for way fewer tears). Snarkiness aside, I hope that somebody finds this at least half as empowering as I did this year. Life fairs a little better when your music’s this good. –Jazz Scott --- Hospital Productions [LUSSURIA · RAINFOREST SPIRITUAL ENSLAVEMENT · NINOS DU BRASIL] 2017 was the 20th year in the business for Dominic Fernow’s Hospital Productions. The label celebrated with tastefully grim releases that fit nicely under the three categories of Fernow’s own projects, Vatican Shadow, Prurient, and Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement. Like Demdike Stare’s DDS and Oneohtrix Point Never’s Software imprints, Hospital Productions never strays far from Fernow’s infernal circle of influence. The label eschews the convenience of modern platforms, preferring physical record stores and distributors like Boomkat and Bleep to platforms like Bandcamp and SoundCloud. Aesthetically, the labels seems to occupy a razor-thin void that exists between the chic, palatable throb of ambient techno — the sort of jilted, swooning sound that intellectual architecture students in horn-rimmed glasses and ket-heads in crop tops can bond over — and the always unpalatable, unpredictable underground noise scene. The latter is the spawning pool of Hospital Productions, a realm of cut-and-paste cassette art and “noise tables,” which basically kept the National Audio Company in business until avant-garde electronica and Urban Outfitters found tapes to be a fashionable medium again. It’s a dangerous game Fernow plays: with every high-bias, 180g limited-edition release at the luxury price point, he runs the risk of playing to the “market,” whether ironically or for personal gain. Industry politics aside, the music is of scrupulous quality and gluttonous proportions. Hospital Productions is committed to releases of staggering, atmospheric scale: the monolithic physical LPs and cassette boxes are like dense artifacts, adding to the imprint’s quasi-archaeological mystique. Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement put out a few large cuts, coming over two hours on a reissue of Green Graves. The project also put out an eight-cassette compilation titled Water Witches, one of many such bricks of tape that the label would drop. Another eight-hour box set of 8xCS was released for Dust Belt’s brooding, dark ambient on Ecocannibalism, and then of course there was the 6xLP release of Prurient’s massive Rainbow Mirror, which was co-released with Profound Lore. The club side of Hospital Productions is equally grim: Ninos du Brasil released their second full-length, Vida Eterna, a bludgeoning set of trance-inducing Latin rhythms, as well as another 12-inch. Natural Assembly put out The Fantasy of Love, a mix of post punk and deep house. Shifted drew a converging plane between metal grooves (the rhythmic kind) that sound like they’ve been rubbed out of literal metal grooves and outsider techno beats on Appropriation Stories. As much as I hate the “outsider” term, there’s still not much of a vocabulary for the sort of undanceable, fringes-of-the-club-basement beats that Hospital represents so well. –Ross Devlin http://j.mp/2iT0sDJ

[sharkspuppies-blog]

TOP 25 WASTED TIME QUOTES

"Another day nearer the battle, So drink up my lads and look brave, 'Cos every day nearer the battle Is another day nearer the grave."

A warriors' song of the Imperial Guard

"The green tide of Orkdom is upon us and we are alone.

There can be no mercy.

No surrender.

If we survive this day it will be a miracle." Commissar Yarrick at Armageddon

"Heresy is like a tree, its roots lie in the darkness whilst its leaves wave in the sun and to those who suspect nought it has an attractive and pleasing appearance. Truly, you can prune away its branches, or even cut the tree to the ground, but it will grow up again ever the stronger and ever more comely. Yet all awhile the root grows thick and black, gnawing at the bitter soil, drawing its nourishment from the darkness, and growing even greater and more deeply entrenched." The Chronicles of Horus Heresy

"The strong are strongest alone." Tyrant of Badab

"Listen but closely brothers, for my life's breath is all but spent. There shall come a time far from now when our Chapter itself is dying, even as I am now dying, and our foes shall gather to destroy us. Then my children, I shall listen for your call in whatever realm of death holds me, and come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid. At the end I will be there. For the final battle. For the Wolftime." Last words of Leman Russ

Primarch of the Space Wolves Chapter

Whoever speaketh of Cthulhu shall remember that he but seemeth dead, he sleeps, and yet he does not sleep, he has died and yet he is not dead, asleep and dead though he is, he shall rise again. Again it should be shown that

That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.

H.P. Lovecraft

"Mighty Messenger - Nyarlathothep from the world of Seven Suns To his earth place the Wood of N'gai, wither may come He Who Is Not to be Named"

Cthulhu Mythos

"They say foul beings of Old Times still lurk In dark forgotten corners of the world, And Gates still gape to loose, on certain nights, Shapes pent in Hell." Cthulhu Mythos

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island in the midst of black seas of infinity and it was not meant that we should voyage far. Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the relevation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age. Theosophists have guessed at the awesome grandeur of the cosmic cycle wherein our world and human race form transient incidents." H.P Lovecraft, "Call of Cthulhu"

A war refugee sought the Master. He said, "You are wise and serene. Teach me to escape the horrors of this world."

And the Master blinded him with fire-irons.

The Book of Cataclysm

(from the computer game "Syndicate Wars")

Dont Miss to read quotes about wasting time

The people stood like corn in the high fields and listened to the Master. As the reaper's blade scythed them all, the Master fell silent. The lesson would be learned by others. The Book of Cataclysm (Syndicate Wars)

Flee fools, flee! Gandalf

The bees of Death are big and black, they buzz low and sombre, they keep their honey in combs of wax as white as altar candles. The honey is black as night, thick as sin and sweet as treacle. It is well known that eight clours make up white. But there are also eight colors of blackness, for those that have the seeing of them, and the hives of Death are among the black grass in the black orchard under the black-blossomed, ancient bouhts of trees that will, eventually, produce apples that ... put it like this ... probably won't be red. Terry Pratchett - (Faust) Eric

They were big and little creatures. Some were hairy with long, thin tails, and some had noses long as pokers. Some had bulging eyes and some had 20 toes. In they came -- crashing through the door, sliding down the chimney, crawling through the windows. They shouted and cried. They banged pots and pans. They twirled their tails and tapped their toes upon the wooden floor. He watched as the trolls gobbled the food and threw the plates and drank everything in sight. They continued to shout and scream, to scratch the walls and pound the floors and slap their tails upon the table. The tiny trolls were the worst of all. They screamed at the top of their lungs and pulled each others' tails. The Brothers Grimm

"The Antichrist will become a world leader even though he misuses his power. The root meanings of his names will give a clue of his destiny and what he is capable of. The name may sound somewhat barbaric to European ears. He will be influenced by old customs known in the literature but generally forgotten. [...] The Antichrist will be worse than Hitler. In ~1989 he's living in the Middle East. He is at a very crucial time in his life, when impressions will influence his future lifepath. Currently in the realm there is a lot of violence, political maneuvering, and corruption. The atmosphere is having an effect on him and he's coming to realize what his destiny is. [...] His followers will regard him as a religious figure. [...] He will gain immense world-wide power. Thursday will be an important day for him, he will take it as his day of worship. [...] There will be enormous warfare and bloodshed from his weapons, one "a monster borne of a very hideous beast". Hard radiation will cause gross deformities, terrible mutations in nature, in plants and animals as well as Mother Earth. In the period 1997 or 2001 there will be great pain and despair." "Prophecies of Nostradamus"

(Dolores Cannon)

AD&D; Spells Not Worth Memorizing

Acid Trip

Alamir's Fundamental Theorem

Anger God

Animate Bread

Anti-Magic Magic Missle

Become Dead (reverse of Resurrect Self)

Bigby's Clenched Teeth

Bigby's Critically Fumbling Hand

Bigby's Insulting Hand (the second finger is rather prominent)

Break the Wind

Change Elf

Charm Dead

Clear Audience (usually follows Delayed Blast Flatulence)

Create Coat Hanger

Cure Light Winds

Cure Smoked Ham

Deathwish

Detect Dead (Yep, he's dead alright...)

Detect Detect Spells

Detect Lightning Bolts (area: 5')

Detect Pervert

Detect Self

Drawmij's Instant Coffee (components: hot water and cup)

Enlightening Bolt

Enrage Dragon

ESPN

Evard's Blue Testicles

Explosive Friends

Feign Orgasm

Foreskin

Get Life

Globe of Vulnerability

Guess Alignment

Hair Extension I, II, III

Heel

Hold Bladder

Hold Self

Impress Plants

Improper Suggestion

Invisibility to Dead

Irritate Self

Kender Summoning I, II, III

Knock Knock

Legend Bore

Leomund's Grass Hut

Lightning Blot

Locate Right Hand

Maggot Missle

Magic Gristle

Mail of the Banshee

Melf's Acid Trip

Mildly Surprising Grasp

Mistaken Identify

Mordenkainen's Aroused Hound (can't get it off of the nearest leg)

Mordenkainen's Unfaithful Wife

Otto's Irresistible Disco-Duck

Part Hair

Phantasmal Fork

Power Word, NO!

Power Word, Puke

Protection from Self

Psychoanalyze Without Error (Zo, ven dit you shtop lofink your mutter?)

Rectum of Retention

Remove Hand (yours)

Reservation

Rest Erection

Resurrect Living

Sheepskin

Shocking Gasp (usually follows Tenser's Shocking Suggestion)

Silence of the Lambs, 15' radius

Speak With Self

Tasha's Controllable Mildly Unpleasant Laughter

Tasha's Uncontrollable Bladder

Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Flatulence

Teleport Without Destination

Teleport Without Terror

Tenser's Formatted Disk

Tenser's Shocking Suggestion (you want to WHAT??!)

Transmute Rock to Jazz

Unseen Manservant

Unseen Pervert

Wall of Dog

You Wish!

ZX-Spectral Force

Originally compiled by Bill Garrett and Nushae Siobhan Fahey (101 Spells Not Worth Memorizing)

Iä!! Iä!! Shub-Niggurath! Ygnaiih! Ygnaiih!

Without change something sleeps inside us and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken. Duke Lito Artreides, Dune

"Do you see no hope?"

"Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it." Tanis Half-Elven & Raistlin

"And the shadow fell upon the Land, and the World was riven stone from stone. The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the world. The moon was as blood, and the sun was as ashes. The seas boiled, and the living envied the dead." Robert Jordan, "The Eye of The World

https://sharkspuppies.tumblr.com/post/167833965336/quotes-about-fantasy

[hellalambs]

Writing ask meme! 1, 2, 3, 15!

1. describe the plot in 1 sentenceThe gods send a disciple to prepare humanity for their arrival, but political subterfuge, human faith, and a band of immortal demons get in the way.

2. pick one sight, smell, sound, feel, and taste to describe the aesthetic of your novelTightly packed stone buildings in the rain. Green grass and lavender in the wind. A choir. The split-second moment of glorious anticipation right before you hit play on your favorite song. Perfectly ripe peaches dipped in cream.

3. which 3+ songs would make up a playlist for the novel?I Know All What I Do - Jack GarrettAll These Things - OneRepublicCold War - Janelle MonaeRibcage - Mary LambertTides - Hey MarseillesSigh No More - Mumford & SonsThis Is Gospel - Panic! At the Disco

(I have a 61 song playlist, don’t @ me)

15. describe each character’s daily outfitThe fashion on Clerin is so heavily based off late 1870′s and early ‘80′s fashion. Those are the silhouettes I imagine, especially for the upper class. Without going into too much detail (because I have a large cast of characters), let me just say that there is a uniform color system for the alchemists. For any official business in their various fields, they have to wear certain colors to denote the highest order they’re licensed to practice. So Rhys wears silver, Starbuck wears perwinkle blue, and Ciardha wears dark blue.Januarius wears the typical vestments of a Brother: two blue cassocks, one shorter than the other, one with a fancy collar, and a little round cap (consider the yarmulke). Because he’s a soldier, he also wears a green sash, and if he was a war hero it would have medals on it, but he is not and so it does not.