#Galaxy-inspired tough case

[lunarmystique2024]

Phone Case - Glowing Galaxy Cosmic Art Tough Case

Vibrant cosmic art phone case with a glowing galaxy design, providing a unique and eye-catching look. Perfect for those who love space, stars, and cosmic vibes. Ideal for tech-savvy individuals who want to protect their phone with style. Relevant for birthdays, Christmas, or as a thoughtful gift for astronomy enthusiasts.

Product features

- 3D wrap with full ink density

- UV protected for outdoor durability

- Impact resistant materials for shock absorption

- Custom polycarbonate and TPU construction

- Dual layer case for extra

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[ineffablydelighted]

[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 1/?]

Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.

Ah, Hello! 👋

I'm ineffably delighted to meet you all! 😇

Let's cut to the chase and bear with me as we try together to analyze further the subject of the day:

Aziraphale is in love with Crowley and I am pretty sure he is aware of that fact BUT 

[yes, there is a "but", do not erase me from the Book of Life just yet, let me explain first, homie 🥺] 

I do not believe he can comprehend WHY he is just yet, and what that would mean for him in terms of... well... EVERYTHING he ever stood for.

It will also be the perfect roots to answer the biggest question yet :

What is Good Omens all about, exactly?

[Yeah, it's a tough one. When I say "bear with me", I really insist on the fact that it will be LONG. I will try my best to make it fun to read and to allow some "natural breaks" but know that I would appreciate your unshared attention if you're willing to give it to me. 😇]

Although, would you have the chance to ask him about it (probably looking at a cup of tea as we would all do in Earthy fashion), Aziraphale would have somewhat of an answer to give you, probably in the range of:

"Because, deep down, Crowley is the nicest being I've ever known."

Is it false? No, Crowley IS nice. Swaggeringly nice, occasionally unhinged, but still. Nice.

And that is somewhat the core of the... "problem" for our soon-to-be Supreme Archangel [Yep, the pain is still fresh, thanks for asking, you're welcome for reminding you 😭👍] because, as much as Crowley learned nuances due to past experiences (Falling being, most likely, the most traumatic one,) Aziraphale remains bound to think in absolutes. And everything relates to THIS perfect meme right there:

[Whoever you are, person/entity who has done that, you have forever my utmost gratitude and respect]

I'm far from bringing anything new to the table here, but to Aziraphale, Crowley should NOT have fallen in the first place. Because of how nice he is. Crowley IS an angel, to him. In fact, I'll go even further by stating that, to Aziraphale,

Crowley is more of an Angel than ANY Angel in the "Main Office."

Let's present our other contestants, shall we?

When he ruled, Gabriel was an absolute a** and had an ego the size of, idk, at least A DOZEN GALAXIES. He made Aziraphale feel like... well... poop most of the time they interacted.

That is why, in S2 when Gabriel/Jim tells him "I love you", Aziraphale, even being and considering himself a "creature of love", happens to be utterly unable to either reciprocate or take the compliment. At this moment, later enhanced when he reminds himself of the Job case, he realizes he is able to feel, if not hatred, NOT love NOR admiration for somebody he should somewhat consider a role model.

That is very important for Aziraphale's present and future character development, especially considering Gabriel/Jim's own fate, so please keep that in mind.

Michael? Oh God, Same if not worse: too condescending and ambitious in the wrong way to inspire anything nice to anybody.

Sandalphon just does what they are told but can totally throw a punch if necessary.

Uriel is mostly cold, occasionally cruel, and can also be physically threatening.

[I love the actress, though. Gloria Obianyo deserves a Ph.D. in Resting Bitch Facing for her performance in Good Omens alone and I'm here for it.]

S2 Saraqael seems to be more layered but has also been hurtful to Aziraphale (especially when she ironized that he couldn't possibly be the 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle caster).

Overall, S1 Aziraphale refers to the "Main Office" Angels as "BAD ANGELS!" after their hostile encounter. We could see from his face he would have wanted to use harsher words but couldn't get past his forgiving, decent nature.

Before we talk any furfur-ther [Am I proud of this so-called pun? A-BSOLUTELEH 😎🤭], let's add a really important stone/layer to our favorite Angel's thinking: to him, it is simple maths:

GOOD = RIGHT, BAD = WRONG

And let's save it for later, shall we?

[Killgrave dear is just here to remind you you can take a break anytime to drink a glass of Talisker if you'd like, or, more so, if HE'd like. Also because that character is THE best David Tennant role on television - 10th Doctor being the worthy third, I let you guess which character is our second now - and I might have wanted to use this gif just to be able to say that, who knows? *whispers* Mysssteryyyy...]

Anyway.

To a being like Aziraphale, who mostly thinks in dichotomy, being an Angel requires one main requirement: being GOOD.

[Buy a farrrrrm and be good! Not just "pretendy" good but. properly. GOOD! - NO, I couldn't find the gif and YES, I'm mad about it, but since I'm also unable to make one myself, I'll just shut it.]

That is why he refers to the Main Office Archangels as simply being BAD.

At that moment, they had been mean to him, threatening, and, by doing so, they became somewhat active in Hell's Armageddon project. Making them "bad" angels, but, more so:

Bad at BEING Angels.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is, at heart, the penultimate goody-two-shoes: he does feel bad about himself whenever he does something bad/wrong such as lying (it has started to change, and I'll nuance that statement another time, but you get the grip).

He is constantly scared he might fall whenever he somewhat defies God's will or the idea he built in his head of what an Angel should be(have).

But have you paid attention to how his "Angelmates" NEVER seem to CARE about their own displays of, let's say "unconventional characteristics" for what should be the highest "Representatives of the sole concept of Good"?

Have you ever seen Gabriel or Michael being self-conscious about their narcissism and condescending tendencies? Uriel about their coldness? Saraqael about their sarcastic nature? Any of them about their use of violence? Of course not! They seem to be perfectly fine with it!

They own their characteristics, good AND bad.

Aziraphale does not.

Aziraphale is... soft. Even if he, at times, expresses regrets to be just that, he also applies it to his Angelic nature.

You know who else is soft?

Crowley.

Crowley is soft because he cannot kill children and takes it upon himself to LITERALLY DEFY BOTH GOD AND SATAN'S WILL TO SAVE SAID CHILDREN, including two annoying ones [especially the one who DARED to hit on Aziraphale but that is a topic for another day]

[MASSIVE Bildad the Shuhite fangirl here, consider yourselves warned.]

Crowley is soft because he cannot even kill GOATS.

Defying both God's and Satan's will to save kids? Yeah, eventually, okay.

Defying God's and Satan's will to save goats? Man, that's so effingly. more. powerful.

[Oh, look! A bird flying, normal thingy, nothing to see here, buh-bye!]

Crowley is soft because he proposes/"tempts" Aziraphale to "eat a spot of lunch", especially whenever his Angel experiences stress.

We have barely seen him eat, which might indicate he does not have such a strong taste for it personally. He only goes to the Ritz to enjoy Aziraphale's company and to watch him happily eat scrumptious, comforting foods.

[Okay, also because it morphed into a proper kink at some point but that is NOT today's subject, so stop trying to make me deviate from it! 😣]

Oh, and, before you bring that up, no, the alcohol motive is not relevant since he can, in all probability have a glass of Talisker in ANY sort of pub/restaurant in London.

[As a proper peated whisky lover who happens to be French, let me tell you this is NOT the case in my country and I'm super duper jealous of you, lads.]

Crowley is soft because he takes care of both Gabriel and Aziraphale's bookshop, even if it is clear he loathes the first and expressingly said he would not be a bookseller "even at gunpoint."

And, by "taking care of", know that I MEAN IT: he kept an eye on Jim, didn't wake him up when he heard him snore, answered any question he had, no matter how seemingly stupid they were [Even if Crowley, of all beings, cannot be anything but a raging "There is no stupid question, only stupid answers" representative] and offered him hot cocoa. As for the Booksho-P[uhhhhh *exhales in asthma*], he attempted to repair Jim's messy ordering twice and meticulously rearranged the place after ✨the Ball✨

[What do you mean, "he also Killgraved him into jumping out of the window?" HE ALSO STOPPED HIM FROM DOING SO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. #NotBiasedInTheSlghtestIndividual]

Crowley is soft because he shares his Bentley with Aziraphale. Which is a VERY. BIG. DEAL. considering it was, at the time, HIS LAST ONE AND ONLY PRIZED POSSESSION.

[Should I mention that the Bentley FALLS IN LOVE with Aziraphale or is debating on whether or not that falls into the Oedipian complex territory off-topic? Yes, I'll see myself out.]

Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale on countless occasions, even though, 99% of the time, that is pretty much unnecessary.

For real, guys: if Aziraphale had been discorporated in the course of his 6000+ years on Earth at any other given moment BUT on the eve of THE WAR with a capital "W", nobody in Heaven would have flinched.

[I do have a theory, though: maybe being re-incorporated takes quite a long time, which would have meant too many years apart from each other, hence the growing Damsel in Distress kink in Aziraphale, idk THAT IS NOT TODAY's SUBJECT, OKAY?!]

Also, Crowley is soft because "doing that makes him so happy".

Do you know who is supposedly "so happy" to save living things, aka GOD'S CREATIONS? Angels.

Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale even when it is ACTUALLY ENDANGERING for both of them

He risked: his life, his pretty comfortable position "he carved out for himself", both his Earthy and Infernal homes sort of speak, AND EVEN HIS CAR to save his Angel's bottom/help him out in the direst situations (like stopping time to stop SATAN HIMSELF.)

[Also his past/present/future existence altogether, but the Bentley is more important, as I'm sure we'll all agree.]

[That is a Class A Protective/Helpful Husband, right there.]

Crowley is soft because he encourages Aziraphale to follow his passion for ✨prestidigitation✨

Even though he is pretty... amateurish at it. Not only does he encourage him, but he also HELPS him when he accepts to be his dashing assistant on stage.

[Yes, he does tell S1 Aziraphale to stop doing magic because he "has no idea how demeaning that is" but I'm pretty sure it was BECAUSE of S2 1941's events. Also, #WeStan1941Crowley here.]

Crowley is soft because he works pretty hard to make two humans he barely knows fall in love.

Yes, he also does it to cover his and Aziraphale's 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle lie BUT don't tell me his amazed expression when he thought he was about to witness Nina and Maggie actually falling for each other was not the purest, sincerest of all.

Finally, even if I could come up with more examples,

Crowley is soft because he saved Aziraphale's books JUST because he KNEW and CARED that Aziraphale CARED about said books.

That also, in Michael Sheen's very own opinion [as stated by Neil Gaiman in S1 GO DVD commentary], shared by many fans, and myself very much included, marks the moment

Aziraphale falls in love with Crowley.

[I DARE you to tell me THIS is NOT THE LOOK OF LOVE PERSONIFIED, go on, fight meh.]

So. WHY did it happen at that moment in particular? Well, because, first of all:

As a proper Jane Austen fan, Aziraphale is a slow burner.

Also, to him, an actual Angel, love is everywhere, so differentiating one love from another might be more difficult for somebody who can feel it whether or not it is even their own.

BUT [have you started getting used to my "but"s yet or should I harass you some more?] Let's go back in time to see how every previous encounter (that we know of) led to that pinnacle, shall we?

[Oh and, YES, this sort of essay will be long, and NO, I had no idea how much it would be when I started writing it, and still haven't, tbh 🤷‍♀️]

During part 2, we will also dive a little bit deeper into what Good Omens is all about.

[Yeah... I figured we would all need a break at this point.]

More on that later, then!

Hope I kept your interest at a reasonable peak. See you soon, Angels ❤

Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇

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[mazencorner]

Cosmic Stone: Galaxy-Inspired Cracked Marble Phone Case

Protect your phone with this galaxy-inspired tough case featuring a cosmic stone design. The cracked marble pattern gives a unique and edgy vibe, perfect for those who love space and celestial themes. This durable case offers excellent resistance to outdoor weathering and shock absorption, making it ideal for those with an active lifestyle. Suitable for individuals who enjoy cosmic designs and want to keep their phone safe and stylish. Perfect for gifting on birthdays, holidays, or as a treat for yourself.

Product features - 3D full ink density wrap - UV protected for longterm optical quality - Durable and impact resistant materials - TPU silicone liner for shock absorption - Supports wireless charging

Care instructions - Clean with a soft damp cotton or microfiber cloth (add a drop of dish soap if needed).

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[truetoyourtales]

You just know this is how Draco is expressing his love this valentines day.

Celebrate in your own way by spoiling yourself or a loved one to our dramoine inspired phone case!

[squarekeystudio]

Bridgerton phone cases: available in soft, snap or tough for both Samsung Galaxy and iPhone models.

Artwork based on Netflix's Bridgerton series.

Beautiful patterns inspired by characters such as Penelope Featherington, Kate Sharma and Eloise Bridgerton.

Others feature favourite quotes from the hit show.

[tenpixelsusie]

What're some Brett HCs? :3

i'm the brett-meiser i see... like the snow meiser for brett hand

HEEHEEHOO <3 tw for food mentions??

- Brett can bake! when he moved off of his family's property in college, he had to learn to cook for himself (and his roomates) in a little rinky dink apartment off campus, and during that time, he learned how to make the most MOUTH WATERING chocolate chip cookies.

his secret? he paints melted butter onto them as soon as they're out of the oven. the cookies taste like heaven, and they always bring tears to anyone's eyes the first time they take a bite.

...he can also make a damn good lasagna. old recipe from the butlers and maids that raised him in the old hand manor.

- HE LOVESSS RPGs. especially ones where you can befriend the characters??? augh. lovely. perfect. his favorite in particular is the classic MOON RPG (y'know the one that toby fox got inspiration from when working on undertale? speaking of,)

he's also played the utdr games. he ABSOLUTELY cried at the true pacifist ending (i have a headcanon for andre that ties into this actually! he played ut bc of the sans memes back in 2016, then reccomended it to brett a couple years later.)

he's played deltarune OF COURSE. and his favorite characters were sweet cap'n cakes :-] (scc ties into my next thing heehee)

- H☆R fan!!! while he is- and always will be- a fan of almost exclusively 1980's media, he found joy in the homestar series back when it was in its early stages. his favorite character is strong bad! (and he really enjoyed scc in dr bc when they introduced themselves in game he was like "wow! just like homestar!" lol)

- OVERBITE!!! he has an overbite. he had to get braces to fix it in middle school, but it never fully went away.

- y'all've most likely heard his voice. he's got a bit of a southern twang to him (just like me a bit :3), and his parents made him go to speech therapy to get rid of it when it was a REALLY strong accent. but nothin' can keep a country boy down, amiright folks!?

...right?

...tough crowd.

- GREATEST PERSON TO HUG EVERRRR. he's got a lot of lovin' in his heart and a lot of it is expressed through physical affection and words of affirmation, both things he excels at! brett can give the most comfortable hugs in the galaxy, from a quick squeeze around the shoulders to a literal pick me up!...and spin around. and nuzzling cheek... hehe. (he actually made reagan fall asleep in the middle of one of them, so he kinda just carried her to her lab to snooze <3.)

- uses fidgets quite frequently, especially those rings that you twist <3 he's got a glittery one that he wears on his right ring finger and it works well for him. he uses chewlery as well and both of these things help him focus quite better than without.

- hmmmm hmmm... he loves to hum. humming is good. nice noise. he's got a groovy tune in his head at all times and he ain't afraid to show it! well- hum it, in this case.

- i like to think that if you messed up his hair all the way, he'd have kind of longer hair. that's how he had his mullet in the brettfast club episode...!

- mr bisexual... probably bi ace or bi aro. either way he swings! (personally i think he's arospec AND aspec. maybe demiro and demisexual (TOTALLY not making all my faves aro/arospec WHATTT. nooo.))

- unlike what'd you expect, he actually doesn't like milk chocolate! he prefers dark chocolate. richer taste, y'know (smthn smthn uhhh run and tell that from hairspray)

- HE CAN SEWWWW HE CAN SEW HE CAN SEW HE CAN SEW HE C-

brett can sew!!!! he repairs his and his friends' clothes a lot AND makes stuff too (cough cough. hand puppets and such)

- can also do makeup SO WELL. his goth phase really had some results... the guy knows how to do eyeliner. it's basically second nature for him.

- STIMS!!!! HE STIMS!!!! HE STIMS BY BOUNCING HIS LEG AND VOCALLY STIMSSSS. I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT.

- sleeps with a teddy bear. the guy likes cuddling. probably has on o' those those special ones that you can easily heat up in the microwave or dryer!!

- paints his nails on the occasion :)

that's!!!! mostly it!!!!

OH AND @niceysboy since i screenshotted your ask!

[snap-style-boutique]

The perfect blend of style and strength! **Stylish Leopard Print Tough Phone Case – Durable Protection for Wildlife Lovers**

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[blusmarty]

Moonlit Cherry Blossoms: A Dreamlike Serenity Tough Phone Case 3

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## Also, you can buy the case with the design from Here

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[bosscovers]

Capture the essence of the beach with our Beach Shells and Bottle Phone Case. Featuring a serene collage of seashells and a classic bottle, this design brings the tranquility of the seaside to your fingertips. Perfect for those who love the ocean, this phone case is both stylish and protective, available for iPhone, Samsung Galaxy, and Google Pixel devices. Choose from a glossy or matte finish and carry a piece of the beach with you wherever you go. Elevate your phone’s look with this coastal-inspired accessory!

[funny-interesting-pictures]

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[hbstudioshop01]

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[captainmdhridoyhossain-blog]

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[vartouhix]

open to: fellow Jaeger pilot verse: Pacific Rim note: If it’s not obvious, ‘Jindo Galaxy’ is the name of the OC Jaeger. Fellow pilot doesn’t have to be her usual partner; could be someone that they got last-minute ‘cause her partner wasn’t available, could be a more tenured pilot, etc. Go wild.

“Damnit,” she hissed. She could feel the strange lag between the time she moved her left leg and when Jindo Galaxy took a stride. She didn’t have to glance at her co-pilot but she did anyway–a habit of personality. She knew they felt it too. More than that, their minds that were once like the ocean and shore, separate but parallel, were now the air above, seeing and feeling both entities simultaneously. Her partner could sense the grimace tugging at her lip the moment her brain launched the synapses required to actually do it.

“Jindo, don’t forget to compensate for your left leg. If the right arm goes janky on you too, fall back and focus on ranged attacks,” came a voice in their earpieces. As if they both hadn’t already considered that. Their Jaeger had been in the shop just before this Kaiju had reared its ugly head. (And damn was it an ugly head, with a strange hexagonal plate making up most of its skull and an eye on every rounded corner. The tough leathery skin was stretched so tight over it that the two eyes in the center bugged out eerily.) Their right arm had been mostly repaired but no tests had been run to make sure it didn’t need other calibrations or work. The left leg had only gone through preliminary repairs to make okay to run in case of emergency, but not good to run.

And oh, what an emergency: a category 3, codename Crawler. The salamander-meets-centipede Kaiju had slithered out of the ocean at 2:13 in the morning–just an added helping of bullshit, because it’s not like most of them worked into the wee hours of the morning as it already was. Jangmi was running on exactly 48 minutes of sleep. Normally these unfortunate circumstances–a busted-up Jaeger and worn-out pilots–would have them sitting on the bench. But this thing was fast, and Crimson Typhoon had already run out of ammo trying to hit it. Striker Eureka was struggling just as much. The body was more slender than the usual Kaiju, and the pilots weren’t accustomed to smaller targets, rendering their missiles too risky to use with the city of Hong Kong so nearby. It didn’t help that the centipede-esque legs all had plates on them. They flicked left in right in perfect organized synchronization–it never once faltered because of a plate catching on another plate as it walked. And it used these long, mutli-jointed, flexible limbs to block attacks from basically any angle. As if that wasn’t enough, each leg tapered into a talon-like hoof of sorts. It was one of the strangest Kaiju she’d ever seen, considering most tended to draw inspiration from marine life or at the very least, amphibians–never reptiles or insects. Stranger still that it was putting up such a fight against both of their best teams. Cherno Alpha had to stay behind, as the Kaiju attacks had been so frequent that they couldn’t afford to send out their best but admittedly slowest and risk it being damaged. And Gipsy Danger still required a second pilot.

Jangmi had just come out of training a few months ago, and had her first real battle with a Kaiju shortly after. She was still used to the target practice on small, fast-moving objects. And that, coupled with the fact the other two clearly needed backup, was why she and her co-pilot were being sent out.

They were drawing close enough now to prepare to attack. Jangmi was of the opinion that they should at least try to engage in close-ranged combat while they could, and only fall back on their ranged weapons if the right arm went out. She thought that perhaps with 2 of them working at close-range, it wouldn’t have so easy of a time keeping up with them all. Plus, this way, Striker Eureka could hold back and provide support with long-ranged attacks when either the Jindo or the other needed to kite away for a moment. And once they ran out of ammo, then Jindo could consider taking its place as the long-range attacker. But as always, Jangmi had a habit of waiting for her partner’s affirmation on her strategy, or for their suggestion. Normally they were in agreement, but on occasion one would forget to take something into consideration, or wouldn’t notice something that the other picked up on, so it was always worth making sure the other didn’t have anything to add.

[devilmaycrymerch]

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[bcnes-archived]

Back in the day when the military was still such a large part of Earth's history, there had been a particularly prevalent mindset that that best leaders were men without attachments. In some circles, it still persists. The ability to make unbiased decisions on who lives and dies was just as important as their perceived willingness to sacrifice themselves without any reservations, if necessary. McCoy has always considered it a stupid notion - as if emotions and attachments were that much of a hindrance. As if a man can't make those tough choices when pressed, even when they care very deeply about those in their command.

Now that he's met Jim Kirk, he's even more certain that it was bullshit from the start.

The man has more attachments than perhaps anyone else in Starfleet, and from professional to platonic they all weigh on him with the weight of a planet. And don't even get him started on Kirk's notions towards romance. Fleeting as those particular encounters may be, he feels them deeply, and McCoy and Spock have been around to witness the inevitable - and usually quick - fallout of more than a few. But just like every other bond he's formed, they linger in his heart and in his head. He's haunted by what he's been unable to have and, at the same time, willing to die on a whim to maintain what he DOES possess. It's his love that does make Jim such a good leader - inspires others to follow him into hell and then back, to lay down their lives for whatever cause he's deemed worthwhile and trust that his judgment really is worth it. And Kirk, all the while, tries his damnedest not to let them. He's jumped in front of more phaser blasts than McCoy can count. He's a leader because his life is equal to that of every other life in the galaxy, no matter how strange that life may look or act. He couldn't inspire this particular confidence in others if the love - and the self-sacrificial tendencies - just didn't exist. McCoy knows this. It drives him crazy, as the one who both has to fix it and who harbors such a deep-seated love for the man that he can't express it, but he knows it.

Only thing worse is the fact that Kirk's tendencies reach too far. He's so sure of his eventual role in the galaxy that he can't even allow himself happiness. That he's afforded himself this is progress, McCoy supposes, but he'll always have the feeling that Kirk still deserves… more, though it would be painful to admit that he and Spock might not be enough somehow.

Although Spock's probably too much for anybody, in actuality, because McCoy's had his hands full with that Vulcan menace for the better part of three years now and it's only going to get worse from here. A stubborn and avoidant Spock is bad enough to deal with on a good day - but knowing the man will entirely double-down on both tendencies once they approach him with this particular topic, they're in for a very long line of Bad days.

"Now, I wouldn't dare call our competence into question, Jim," he begins quite carefully, "but you're asking a hell of a lot." Handling Spock, that is. Notoriously the most unromanceable officer on the ship - well, maybe in the fleet, actually. He shakes his head. "Takes a unique sort of crazy to try and seduce him of all people. I hope you know what you're asking me to get into."

Obviously no commentary is provided on the fact that he also wants to kiss Spock so bad it makes him look stupid. That's hardly relevant.

Rather than try to verbally convince him that - in spite of how much he may claim otherwise - he really isn't going anywhere, he just folds Jim more securely in his arm, running fingers through each individual curl of hair in a methodical pattern, steady and sure. Kirk and McCoy are both so damn chatty ( particularly while drinking, in McCoy's case ) that it's genuinely rare to find moments of silence while in one another's company. But he gets the feeling it might be more helpful, now. Jim can be so damn cagey about what's eating at him, even as open as he usually is. It won't really do any good to point it out. They sit like that for quite some time, Jim crying with quiet intensity into his shoulder and McCoy occupying his hands with ruffling and then smoothing out his hair or cataloguing the muscles around his shoulderblades ( tense from stress, as if he expected anything else ). And though he's still passively aware - as he always is - of space passing them by outside, he finds it isn't all that dreadful right now, as though this is where he was meant to be. Perhaps not on this ship, not if he had any proper say in it, but here as in wherever Jim is. He wants three wildly conflicting things all at once, in that moment: to go back and erase all of the past missteps and burdens and conflicts that had caused Jim to feel so fundamentally lost for so many years, or perhaps just to stay exactly where he is right at this moment and never let go, or alternatively to go and grab Spock right by his stupid ears and drag him kicking and screaming into wherever the hell they're going next together.

The third one is particularly tempting. But then so is the first, because he can't even begin to fathom why Kirk would feel as though he has to apologize for something good, or why the galaxy had any right to make him feel like he was undeserving of a million times more than this.

The hand in his hair turns into a ( gentle, but still firm ) cuff upside the head. "Don't apologize." Honestly, after all these years it's both impressive and downright ridiculous that he's never seen Kirk cry a day in his life. That's some absurd dedication to maintaining an image, and hell if McCoy understands why he insists upon it. As though his crew will fault him for being human. If the crew can handle McCoy breaking down in drunken tears over medieval medical practices, they can surely handle their captain confiding in them every once in a while. "Not for any of it - I mean it. Christ, you're out of your head if you really think you'd even have to."

Maybe to them it seems like going above and beyond - but to Jim Kirk , the passion he shares , the love he holds for everyone , it comes as second nature to him. Wearing his heart on his sleeve is nothing new to him , in fact , if he didn't hold it there for for everyone to see , he doesn't know where it would go. His normal amount of love , for that reason , is above and beyond. His above and beyond , that unwavering persistence that he doesn't share with just anyone , is reserved for the two men in the fleet that he can't bear to lose. The only two that he can have a connection with. ❛ I don't. ❜ He finally mutters softly , shaking his head. ❛ This is nothing , not to me. ❜ Not when it's you. He gives his all to everyone he meets and so often gets nothing in return , only to feel that connection he so longs for , even if it's for a split second. Kirk thought that maybe , just maybe , it would make it easier. Make the loss a little harder to bear , the loss of life , the loss of love. It never gets easier. But his love never wavers , either.

Maybe that's why he tried so hard to keep himself from doing this. To keep Bones and Spock at an arm's length away , to simply admire them from afar. That way he wouldn't have to do the inevitable. To abandon them like he did all the others , simply because his command wouldn't allow it. He loves them more than anything , and that scares him. Deeply. Loving them scares him almost as much as losing them does. But to Jim Kirk , love and loss always become one , eventually.

He meets Bones' gaze again as he speaks , letting out a soft huff of air at that familiar eyebrow raise. One of the doctor's little quirks , like the way he bounces on his feet , that makes him hard not to love. He smiles softly , eyes shining with a mix of adoration and the sheen from the tears that begin to stab at his eyes. ❛ I'm sure we can handle him. ❜ He replies , shaking his head. ❛ It means a lot though , Bones. Having you here with me. ❜ It's vague , what he means by " here. " Here on the Enterprise ? Here , right now ? It remains unspoken , but they both know what he means. If he didn't have McCoy at his side at all times , giving him input , butting against his orders when his anger gets the best of him - he's sure he wouldn't be half of the captain he is. He's the only person , other than Spock , that's stayed. That's been allowed to stay. Even though they both have their walls , their facades they've put in place , Bones sees through Jim's confident , macho air with ease. And Jim can see the doctor's grumpiness like nothing. And yet , that creeping fear that he could still lose him , either by death , or other means , still lurked in the back of his mind. Losing him by death would be one thing ― something he would never be able to forgive himself for. But losing him by his own free will ? The inevitability that he might have said screw it and walked out ? That weight finally being lifted from his shoulders sent a wave of relief washing through his body like he had never felt before.

As his gaze falls upon the window , eyes glossing over with tears , the stars blur into one as he finally allows himself to succumb to them. Each one of those stars is a person he couldn't save. A person he had to leave behind. Even as he sits here with one of the men he loves , there are ten other loves out there , somewhere , that are cursing his name. People that he loved , loves , that he had to leave behind. Because the Enterprise calls to him , and he can't resist that call. But McCoy , Spock. If either of them told him to leave Starfleet , that they wanted to leave it all behind ? He wouldn't hesitate. Not when it's them. The Enterprise and her crew need him , he knows that more than anything. But he needs those two in his life more. After all of the lives he's seen taken from him , violently , unwillingly , is it that selfish of him to want something to himself ?

He sniffles as Bones places his hand on his shoulder , allowing himself to be maneuvered into an embrace. Slowly but surely , his arms raise to return the gesture. The hand in his hair grounds him , and he squeezes his eyes shut as he buries his face into the crook of the other man's neck. He stays there for a moment , shoulders shaking with sobs as he mourns for those he's lost. Why is it that he mourns now ? That all of those memories flood back to him when he should be feeling happy ? It's not like he isn't happy in this moment. He is. But with every good thing that happens , he's reminded of twenty bad things that happened prior , and twenty more that are yet to come. There is no life without loss , that he knows well. He's far too familiar with the concept. That comes with being Captain of a starship , too , but he knows fully that no one is as deeply familiar with loss as he is. He pulls Bones closer to himself , feeling the uniform's cloth on his fingertips - memories flashing before his eyes. Holding McCoy's lifeless body in his arms , face covered in welts and bruises. He's here with him now , one of the lives that he could save. He just wishes , however selfish that it the thought is , he could've done the same for everyone else.

❛ I'm sorry. ❜ Is the first thing that he chokes out , voice muffled against the doctor's shoulder. He knows better than to apologize for his feelings , for the tears that his position refuses to let him release. And yet , he apologizes anyways. For no one should have to see him like this , even the man who promises to stay at his side. This is a burden Jim Kirk should have to bear alone. At least , that's what he believes. There's a small voice in the back of his head , one that sounds eerily like the man who holds him in his arms , telling him that's not true. That he should do this more often. He has half the mind to ignore it , but that may just be a sign.

As he finally pulls away , the grip on his hair finally released - a hand reaches up to wipe away some of the tears that stain his face. He takes a deep breath , allowing the tears to finally subside. A moment passes. The feeling of lips against his forehead , such a tender , human action , one that he had been reaching for for years : causes him to weep again. This time it was for Bones. For the love that he had finally been allowed , the love that he won't run away from. ❛ I am - ❜ the words are forced out as he desperately tries to stop the tears. He bites the inside of his cheek , face flushing as his lips curl into a lachrymose smile. ❛ I know it doesn't look like it but . . with you , I can't not be. ❜ Sappy as it is , it's the truth. His gaze falls down to the splotches on Bones' shirt , and he gently wipes them with a hand , like it'll do anything. ❛ . . sorry for that , too. ❜