#GODLY WRITING RIGHT HERE
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wine-and-madness · 5 months ago
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I still yearn.
I still long for things I have no access to, I still long for my god, I fear he is distant.
He is the god of mental health, too. He is the god of taking your meds. I know this.
I cannot help missing the all-consuming rush of emotions unbridled, mind spinning, vision tunneled, hands buzzing with glorious tension. Excitement, ecstacy, blinding rage, all intense, all burning.
We never talk about how it feels good. We are already judged enough as it is.
It's better this way, I know. It's better calm, feeling reasonable amounts at a time, not hurting myself, not hurting those around me.
I fear I have lost his madness with the rest.
It is better this way, I know.
Maybe now, I can find purely Dionysus, instead of the hateful creations of my own mind.
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indecisivemuch · 10 months ago
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Lovesick & Lovelorn
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: You thought that Luke Castellan, your best friend, did not reciprocate your feelings for him. To cope, you wrote letters addressed to him and kept them in a box. What happens when one of your sisters finds it? Inspired by 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' (fluff, best friends to lovers; you thought it was unreciprocated feelings, happy ending).
Note: Ahh, I'm so happy the show got renewed for season 2.
Word count: 3.3k
You were deeply convinced your fate was tied to one with eternal lovelorn. 
Three years ago, you arrived at Camp Half-Blood and settled into the Hermes cabin before you were claimed by your Godly parent. It was there that you met Luke Castellan - one of your soon-to-be best friends. Though, you knew you were doomed from your first glance into his eyes. Then came his friendly smile and an offer of a handshake, where his hand engulfed yours.
At first, you thought that silly little crush would dissipate. But over time, as you became close friends with the Hermes cabin counselor, you were almost convinced he was faultless. You seemed to adore every little thing about him. Along with the fondness that grew in your heart was also self-pity. At one point, even looking at him hurt because you knew he did not return your feelings.
Hence, the letters.
In between your memories of Luke were letters you wrote throughout those years just to cope with the unreciprocated feeling. It was painful, but what else could you do? You truly believed confessing would put your friendship at risk. Neither did you feel like dealing with the heartache of a rejection. So you never uttered any of your feelings to him, continuing to imprint it on lined papers instead.
You scowled as the pen you were using ran out of ink, leaving the latest edition of unspoken words unfinished. Wordlessly, you fold the incomplete letter into an envelope and shove it into the turquoise box you bought while returning from a quest once. You neatly put the box under your bed.
“Y/N, it’s time to head out,” one of your sisters repeated. Two minutes ago, people were starting to leave, so those on cleaning duties could clean up your cabin. Since you were mid-writing, you hastily asked for a few more seconds. Now, you were the only one left besides two of your sisters.
“Yes, sorry,” you quickly muttered, exiting the cabin and almost immediately bumped into Luke. “Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked.
“I’m here for you. I thought we should hang out,” Luke answered ever so casually. Yet, your heart swelled at the thought that he was there for you. Before you could reply, you two were interrupted by another camper, who told you that one of your other best friends needed you and that it was an emergency.
“I’m so sorry, we’re gonna have to take a rain check on that hangout,” you informed Luke. You slowly started walking backward and away from him. “I’ll see you later, though?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Come find me whenever you’re done, yeah?” Luke requested, hoping to spend time with you later. His soft look made you pause mid-step, almost as if your foot had been cemented to the stones beneath. You nodded absentmindedly before snapping out of that state to comfort your friend.
After two hours of listening to your friend and comforting them, you finally left their cabin to search for Luke, who previously told you to find him after. However, around half an hour later, you slowly gave up at the thought of doing so, feeling almost defeated.
As you turned to head back to your cabin, you spotted the Hermes counselor exiting his. You called out his name, watching his back stiffen before he turned to you. You ignored the odd behavior and recalled, “I’m free now if you’re down to hang out.”
“I’m so sorry, but I’m really busy right now.”
“Uhm, well, I guess I’ll just meet you at our spot whenever you’re done then?” you suggested. You and Luke fell into a routine of star-gazing every night.
Laying under the dark sky that painted your whole horizon often made you feel small. But something about that was so calming, especially considering most of the time, you were suffocated by the weight and duties of being a Demigod. You wondered if it was the moment or if it was Luke’ presence that aided your momentary peace.
“I really, really can’t tonight, I have a lot of things to do.”
“Oh… that’s okay. I’ll see you around?” you replied, watching as Luke fidgeted and gulped while attempting to look normal. It was futile, really, because being best friends meant you could sense when the slightest thing was even off. He nodded, and you retreated to your cabin with thoughts swirling in your head.
Then came the next few torturous and confusing days. For the last two years, Luke would always approach you - almost daily, and vice versa. Being best friends with Luke has been wonderful. Every day together felt like a blessing.
Now, it seemed almost like he was avoiding you. He would find a new excuse whenever you approached. He wouldn’t even look in your direction. Yesterday, you made eye contact with him, and he turned away abruptly, facing his back towards you.
You had enough after day three. You went to your cabin after dinner and reached under your bed with one hand. You did not want to, but this would perhaps be your first-ever letter of anguish about Luke Castellan.
The box…where is the box?
You peered under your bed, mouth hanging open when your eyes could not spot it either. You looked up and around, hoping maybe you had misplaced it somewhere, even though part of you knew you had put it under your bed. You have always done so.
“Hey, have you seen a turquoise box?” you asked your sister as she walked by.
“Oh, the rectangle one, about this big?” your sister reconfirmed, using her hand to show you the size she indicated.
“Yes, that one.”
“Oh, I gave it to Luke.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I was cleaning the cabin three days ago, accidentally knocked it over and saw letters addressed to him. He was right by the door, so I thought maybe I should just deliver them to him.”
Blood drained from your face, and your heart plummeted. Anything else your sister seemed to be talking about started sounding like murmurs, and you could not focus on a word she was saying. Your worst nightmare seemed to have arrived. Somehow, your friendship with him had ended without you knowing. No wonder he has been avoiding you these past few days. He has read them all.
“I need to go,” you quickly muttered, storming out of your cabin. You could feel your body slightly shaking from the panic. No amount of Demigod training had prepared you for moments like these. Then you saw Luke walking over you…with the box in his hands. You took a deep breath and practically forced your voice box to work.
“Listen, Luke—”
“I didn’t think you’d buy birthday gifts that early, Y/N,” he interrupted.
“What?” you questioned and observed the sweet smile gracing his Adonis-like face.
“This?” he gestured to the box. “Your sister gave it to me and said it was from you. Though I thought I should give it back ‘cause it’s not my birthday yet, you might have wanted to give it to me yourself.”
“Oh…” it was the only thing you could utter as it dawned on you what he had perceived the situation as. “Wait, so you haven’t opened it?” you clarified.
“Nope.”
“...So we’re ok?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” your mouth hung slightly agape at his words. As you scrunch your eyebrows, you could see how his fingers fidget somewhat, almost as if he could tell you would bring his odd behavior up.
“You’ve been acting really odd the last few days, Luke. It had me worried. I thought I did something wrong. It seems like you were avoiding me.”
“I was just really busy with counselor duties,” he dismissed it. However, something about it made you a bit hesitant to believe his words. You did it anyway, nevertheless. You blamed it on your stupid heart.
“Yeah, but—” you stopped, not wanting to stir anything. “Ok then, I’m going to put this away, but I’ll see you later, yeah? Maybe we can finally not rain check again?” You hated how hopeful you sounded. You’re glad that the sun had set a few minutes ago, blessing you with enough degree of darkness to hide your facial expressions from being as evident as they would be in daylight.
“Of course, I’ll see you later, Y/N,” despite the dark and only dim lights from nearby, you noticed there was something different about him. Luke was wearing a nervous smile, almost sheepish like a schoolboy. There was a glimmer of amazement in his eyes like he was in disbelief. Though it was definitely overpowered by a glaring degree of warmth. He was looking at you like all those writers have written down in the books you have read before - something along the lines of adoration and love.
You shook those thoughts away again, refusing to somehow fool yourself into believing he could reciprocate those feelings.
“Yeah, see you,” you muttered, hand gripping tightly on the box as you took it from his hold. As soon as you reached your cabin, you opened the box to peer inside. You immediately sighed in relief upon seeing the copious amount of letters with your handwriting on them, all with Luke’s name on the front.
However, your eyes landed on one unfamiliar one. It had your name on it, written in a familiar wonky handwriting that you have always found endearing.
You sat on your bed, taking the letter out delicately, almost in disbelief. Then, dread overtook any other emotion. Was this Luke’s way of letting you down easy? By pretending to not have read any of your letters and rejecting you through the form that you express your love to him? — you had to physically shake your head at that thought.
You took the letter out of its envelope and started reading: 
‘Dear Y/N,
This is probably the 40th time I tried writing this letter. It feels impossible to try and convey everything onto one piece of paper.
You deserve someone to at least view you as their muse rather than always being the writer. 
Hence why, for the past few days, I had to physically drag myself away from you every time you tried approaching me because I knew if I didn’t, I would just end up spilling my feelings out right then. I knew if I even looked at you, I would have just abandoned this letter idea and run to you. You should have seen me yesterday. When we made eye contact, I had to turn away from you because having the knowledge of you liking me back was enough to knock all the air out of my lungs. I was a flustered mess from just that eye contact.
I doubt my words could rival what you have written about me. You once wrote how it hurts to love someone this much and to always be the poet but never the poem. Well, I’d like to thank you for making me your poems. However, now it is your turn. Allow me to be your poet.
You occupy my mind like it’s your castle. If I had to name everything I love about you, this letter would never end. But for starters, here are some of the first times:
The first time Chiron introduced you to the Hermes cabin, I could not take my eyes off you. Chris had to nudge me away. Just from that alone, a part of me knew I was in trouble. I think I came to the conclusion that I did not want to hold anybody else’s hand after just shaking yours.
2.5 years back during a campfire in June, even when the fire had died and the air grew cold, our voices still filled the air. Conversations just flow when I am with you. I remember never wanting that moment to end. Then you started talking about constellations and told me about the ones above us. Right there and then was the first time I had the urge to kiss you, and to show you that I was just as obsessed with you as you were with stars.
The first time I realized I was in love with you was while coming back from a quest 2 years ago. I remember feeling so numb coming back. The world almost seemed monotone, and I wondered for a second, what if I had made one wrong move? Just as I returned to camp, you bolted and hugged me. Somehow, it felt like I had just taken my first bit of fresh air after drowning for so long. I vividly recall shutting my eyes as I hugged you back because I felt like I was finally home. I remember never wanting to be away or out of your hold as others approached and rushed to get me into the infirmary for checkups.
It was only when I was lying on the infirmary bed that it hit me like a train that lost control. A large proportion of why I fought so hard was to come back to you. You’re my best friend, Y/N, and my place of solace and peace. Then came the realization that I was in love with you. I remember everybody else’s voice drowning out as I focused on that thought. It was strangely calming, as if my heart had known all along but was waiting for my head to catch up. Then I remember just smiling as I looked at the ceiling, unafraid of the new feeling.
Last year, the day we went on a quest together lapsed with Valentine’s Day. Every moment felt extra sweet. Us sitting on the train, staring outside the window together like a couple going on a trip. My mind savoured the small things like you falling asleep on my shoulder with my coat around you and us holding hands as we walked through the crowd to not get lost among couples - which I like to imagine that others had thought we were one as well. It was the first time I allowed myself to pretend this is how it would feel like if you were mine and how our lives together would be if we were not Demigods.
I thought for sure you would have realized something by the way I was staring and acting around you that I was irrevocably in love with you. After reading your letters, I realized that you did see it. But you refused to believe that I could ever be in love with you. Well, I hope my letters will reverse all your doubts, because Y/N, it is so easy to fall in love with you. 
In fact, the world I built up in my head during last year’s quest had consumed my thoughts enough to make me frown at the idea of returning to camp, where it would not just be the two of us anymore. Loving you has never been something I was afraid of. Loving you has been an honour every single day, even if you never knew of it. 
It’s also somewhat funny that I was heavily lovesick while you were lovelorn. But I promise, Y/N, that from this second on, I intend to make you know that you are loved and that I am so deeply in love with you.
Again, I never intended for you to wait for three days, but I ended up throwing away every letter I started because I felt like none had suffice. I didn’t want to mess it up and give you something less than you deserved. I wanted to do something nice for you. I promise I’ll make it up for those three days if you allow me to. But one chance is all I need.
If you are willing to give me that chance, you know where to find me.
Sincerely,
Luke Castellan’
Upon reading his last words, you immediately left your cabin with the letter in hand. You jogged to the spot where the two of you would always meet to stargaze together. Almost instantly, you saw his tall figure under the moonlight. As if he could sense your presence, the Hermes boy turned around and gave you a sweet smile.
“You meant it?” you asked as you raised the letter up, slowly approaching him.
“Every single word, including all the unspoken ones I intend on telling you from now on,” the way he said it felt like he was swearing it on his own heart. “In fact, I would have written more down, but I knew I was keeping you waiting for too long,” he explained as you stopped right before him.
Something about this moment felt cathartic. Three years of dancing around unspoken words and yearning led to this moment. Luke grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb over your knuckle. You peered up at him, and it was then that you finally accepted what his looks meant: he was in love with you, and there was no doubt about that. There was no more denial on your end that Luke Castellan was enamored with you.
“Will you let me be your poet, Y/N?” he breathlessly referenced the words you and him had both previously written like he had been waiting for this for a lifetime.
“Of course,” you answered almost without hesitation, watching his eyes soften even more, if possible.
“Is it ok if I ask you another question?” he asked again, his other hand caressing your cheek.
“Yeah?” Your face flushed as you saw his brown eyes dart to your lips.
“Can I kiss you?”
This time, you didn’t say anything. You’ve written down way too many words in the past three years. You decided actions would speak louder in this case. So you pulled Luke down by his camp necklace, hands gripping the beads on it as you tiptoed up to reach his lips. 
Luke physically melted as he brought one hand to your waist to hold you up as he leaned down from the height difference. Everything Luke had imagined before could not match the kiss he was finally sharing with you - the kiss that seemed to seal his lips into a spell that would forever leave them unable to belong to anyone else. It felt like heaven and hell combined because he knew that this was going to ruin him forever, and every second he spent with his eyes shut would be one where he had this feeling and moment sown behind his eyelids. 
You had the same line of thoughts. The wait was long, but you felt like it was worth it. Under the stars, you may feel small. But standing there next to Luke, you finally realize it doesn’t matter. Because he was holding you like you were the only thing that mattered.
You were his sun, moon, and everything in between - no constellations could ever measure to you.
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yeonzzzn · 7 months ago
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hihi!! perhaps mayhaps enhypen ot6 (still kinda feel weird reading smut on ni-ki 😀⁉️) catching yn masturbating to them (e.g. sees yn with a photo of them or like ,, yn moaning out their name,etc)
i’m gonna write this as hyung line since it’s who I mostly write smut for, hope that’s okay! and yeah no I won’t ever write smut for niki. it’s never happening 🙅🏻‍♀️
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‎‧₊˚✧[ HEESEUNG ]✧˚₊‧
he would be completely floored. homie would be minding his business, playing a round of LOL with his friends and swearing up and down he kept hearing his name being called. eventually removing one of the earmuffs from his ear to be correct, he was hearing his name being called, coming from you more specifically.
heeseung would quickly stand up and make his way to your room filled with worry thinking something was wrong. but would stop dead in his tracks seeing your bedroom door is cracked open and hearing your lewd sounds coming from the other side of the door. heeseung would peak inside, carefully pushing the door open to seeing you sprawled out on your bed, legs spread so wide and your fingers pumping in and out of your wet cunt quickly, heeseung’s name spilling from your lips in gasped moans, chanting it over and over. heeseung would get hard immediately, his face and ears turning a bright red. loving how you look as you moan out his name. it’s clear that you want him, and oh god he wanted you too. heeseung could interrupt right now, but deciding against it. you looked way to sexy to him to just stop you. heeseung would lean against the doorframe and pull his shorts down past his hips until his hard cock was set free, his hand pumping himself to the same rhythm as your fingers pushing in and out of you. he would eventually lose himself, letting out gasped moans of your name, nearly scaring you to death after finally noticing him, your door now wide open as heeseung slid to the floor, resting his back to your bedroom wall, “don’t stop baby,” he groans, “keep touching yourself for me, I’m so close…please. wanna see you cum with me.” how could you say no?
‎‧₊˚✧[ JAY ]✧˚₊‧
jay wouldn’t be shocked at all most since he would always walk around your shared apartment without a shirt on, always making you so weak in the knees for your roommate. mostly after he finishes showering and has his hair all wet and sticking to his forehead with nothing covering him but a thin towel and seeing the outline of his cock as he quickly walks to his bedroom to get dressed. how could you not touch yourself after seeing that? mostly when it’s a daily occurrence in this apartment. hell, one time he walked back to the bathroom and tied the towel just below his hips to quickly slick his hair back and left the bathroom door open…how could you not snap a quick pic with your phone? it was a godly sight. one to burn into your memory. so obviously you’d use that photo to masturbate in the safety of your room…when jay wasn’t home. except one day he came home early and you didn’t hear him walk in. you left your door wide open, being completely naked on your bed and legs spread apart as your fingers pushed inside you, your free hand holding your phone with the photo of jay and you moaning out his name. of course jay hearing this peaked his curiosity, him snooping to your bedroom and seeing the sight before him, eyes glueing to your slick that spilled from your cunt and pooling at your sheets, eyes eventually moving up to your naked body and then seeing the photo of your phone. you nearly jumped out your skin at feeling jay’s hand wrap around your wrist. he smirked at you, “why did you stop? go on, continue. had no problem fucking yourself to a half naked photo of me, might as well do it with me right here.” jay pinned your hand down to your bed, his free hand shoving down his shorts and taking his cock in hand, “come on now pretty, don’t stop.” you obeyed.
‎‧₊˚✧[ JAKE ]✧˚₊‧
homie wouldn’t know what to do after catching you. he’d be so embarrassed for snooping on you time and time again after the first time but not being able to get enough of hearing how beautifully his name slid from between your lips as you touch yourself. jake would lean against the wall outside your room and fuck up into his fist, biting his tongue to keep from screaming out your name. eventually jake wouldn’t be able to keep quiet anymore, needing to physically see you fuck yourself instead of just hearing it through the thin wall between your two bedrooms or outside your door. jake would be so far gone that he wouldn’t think twice from standing up off the floor and quickly opening your bedroom door, loving that the first thing he sees is your cunt on full display for him, your fingers knuckles deep inside. you’d quickly try and cover yourself, ready to yell at him for being such a pervert until he rushes in and lays down beside you, already making work of pushing off his jeans and positioning his cock in hand, “masturbate with me honey,” he says, making direct eye contact, “you had zero problem moaning my name for weeks. I wanna hear you scream my name as you cum, I’ll cum with you,” jake would start to pump himself, mouth slack as he kept looking into your eyes, “fuck you’re so pretty, touch yourself for me honey, moan my name.” jake looked way to hot like this to not continue pushing your fingers in and out your cunt. both of you were a moaning mess until a mixture of both your cum stained your bedsheets.
‎‧₊˚✧[ SUNGHOON ]✧˚₊‧
home boy would be on such a power trip hearing you moan out his name in the middle of the night as you touch yourself. he’d be laying in bed smirking so fucking hard at the pure fact he doesn’t even have to be the one touching you to get you screaming out his name. sunghoon would be confused at first, thinking he was just hearing things and eventually drifting off to sleep until he heard you moan out his name and he knew he wasn’t hearing things. you indeed were moaning his name while you masturbated. it would give sunghoon such an ego boost. he already knew he was hot shit, but after hearing your pretty voice scream for him? it only made it worse. sunghoon would also be so fucking turned on by it. he couldn’t lie and say he never jerked himself off to you, he was very much attracted to you, he just didn’t think you felt the same and now that he knows you do, you aren’t safe from him. sunghoon would quickly pull himself out of bed and make his way to your bedroom, pressing his ear gently to the wood of your door, waiting to confirm you are indeed still moaning out his name. once that confirmation was cleared, he wouldn’t hesitate to just open your door, crossing his arms and smirking at how you look on your bed, completely naked as you continued to fuck yourself, staring deeply into his eyes. you were so close to finishing and even though you were embarrassed to have been caught, your need to cum outweighed it. “how cute,” he coos, “getting caught moaning my name and still going? that’s so fucking hot,” he would then make his way into your bedroom, towering over you and sliding his hand on top of yours, helping you push your fingers inside your cunt faster, “looks like you need some help, princess. I’ll make you cum hard, don’t worry.
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thesirenisles · 7 months ago
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Mercury’s Prophets⚕️���
gemini & virgo
love, mythology, astrology observations✨
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🌬️Mercury in the 1st house, 3rd house, 6th house,
🌬️Gemini Sun, Ascendant, Rising, Venus, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, Gemini Stellium
🌬️Virgo Sun, Ascendant, Venus, Mercury, Mars, Jupier, Stellium
🌬️Jupiter in the 3rd house, Jupiter in Gemini, 6th house
🌬️Mercury Dominant, 3rd House Stellium, 6th House Stellium
🌬️Sun-Mercury Aspects, Jupiter-Mercury aspects
“She leapt from the Earth. The free winds of the skies coursed beneath her golden wings as she raced for the clouds… the burden of her omniscience left behind. Nothing but silence above the heavens.”
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Fascinating mythological history below! Do not steal any of my original writing. All rights reserved. © 2024 The Siren Isles Support
Voice of the Gods,
Soaring high above, with Godly knowledge ever-expanding… you are a magnificent being, Mercurian.
Gifted with wings to be free of the Earth 🌍 , one might confuse you for an angel.
However, Mercury blesses you with these wings to be a divine messenger, a literal VOICE of the Gods. ✨.
A prophet of sorts if you will. 💁🏾‍♀️
This energy makes you quite attractive, blessing you with divine looks and energy that is welcomed in any room.
When you speak, everyone listens. (Esp. 3rd house). This is a gift and a curse, of course, but it is still very powerful.
People can spot a Mercurian a mile away with your extensive knowledge and mellifluous way of speaking. You have a silver tongue. You could sell water to a fish in the middle of the ocean. (Pisces, I'm talking about you lol. Stop being gullible!).
The words you say leave a lasting impression and can cut someone deep to their core negatively, while also you could bless them greatly with your insightful knowledge and advice! (Because duh, Duality.💁🏾‍♀️)
You are always balancing two halves of yourself. Gemini of Air and Virgo of the Earth.
At your core, you’re both here to make connections and say what needs to be said!
With your planetary ruler being the fastest orbiting planet in our galaxy, you are always in constant, fast motion.
Ideas.. thoughts.. feelings… are always racing through the mind of a Mercurial being. Most are gifted with a natural claircognizance “clear knowing”, which can look different depending on the placement.
Why is this?
Mercury (Hermes to the Greeks, Thoth or Djehuty to the Ancient Egyptians) rules over commerce, communication, short travels, boundaries, intelligence, trickery, and thievery! 👀 LOL
GEMINI or the 3rd house apply these gifts in their natural settings: to the mind, communication, social activity, siblings (twins).
VIRGO or the 6th house on the other hand apply these gifts to their everyday routines and relationships. Less talking and more analysis & servitude. (The maiden).
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The Duality of Mercury ⚕️
Virgo vs. Gemini
Mercury was the messenger of the Gods. He was essential to the communication and diplomacy between the realms. Each one trusted him. So, of course he knew them all well... and their dirty laundry.
🐍 Is it no wonder why they seem to know just about everybody and everybody’s business? Do not deny it, Virgo. LOL👀
Although they held more power individually, Mercury held the power of being their collective voice! (Also rules oration) They entrusted him with how and what was said on their behalf… often being a literal translator. (Powerful!)
This is similar to situations many Geminis and Virgos find themselves in. Many will come to you for advice and insert you into their dealings.👀 (As the middleman.)
Geminis on a social level and Virgos often within the family and relationships.
The Gods' divine trust came with plenty of gifts, which you’ll also find true of lovers in this lifetime. People value you and your gifts, which gives you purpose. (A virgo's dream.)
The most significant gift given to Mercury, was perhaps his trademark wand or staff... known as
"The Caduceus"
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Per the Greco-Roman mythology, the caduceus was gifted to him by the Sun God, Apollo. A magical olive branch staff with two serpents intertwining around its base.
They say if it touched the dying, it blessed them with a gentle death. However, when applied to the deceased… they would literally return to life. (DUALITY!)
You’ve probably noticed this symbol at our hospitals, on our ambulances, etc.
I like to believe these two snakes themselves are yet another symbol of Mercury’s duality.
One is good and the other bad. One yin. Other yang. One Virgo and One Gemini👀
🐍Mercury was also known as the trickster God or God of thievery!
This is essential to note because I have a theory (possibly far-fetched, but makes so much sense) that this may have a connection to a certain Garden of Eden… where a certain serpent spoke to a certain woman and convinced her to eat the fruit of …. KNOWLEDGE. 🤯
They say that before the caduceus had it's powers, it was just a branch. Mercury was stuck in servitude to the God's.
But…what if… Mercury being the trickster God convinced the maiden (virgo) to bite of the the fruit of knowledge in the forbidden garden and gained a portion of the powers of Mercury that he did not want.
If Virgo took on the need to serve, then Mercury would be free to frolick the realms with his tricks and thievery. He was also remarked as a habitual line-stepper, or boundary-crosser. (This is unevolved Gemini energy all the way)
This really gets deep when you realize that Virgo's sister sign Pisces (whom in my Neptune post, I compared to Persephone) bit of the fruit of Hades in the same curious fashion and was in more or less words cursed!
This does not mean that being of service is a curse in any way, but honestly, the mythology behind this dual planet is fascinating.
I think Virgo actually bossed her side of the energy up to the max. She is the earthy incarnation of her own genius, often never showing just how intelligent she really is... so as not to reveal her cards.
Virgo can bring her wildest ideas to fruition within the Earthy realm! (After it's perfected to her liking of course.) A gift!
However, Virgo can also have some trickery within her nature… often appearing or putting on a more innocent act than she really is.
But, with Mercurian energy there is always the possibility for their beautiful thoughts to come out a bit... wrong.
This brings me to a very important note.
🐍Please beware of false gossip.
It’s inevitable honestly, as people can’t help but give knowledge to a heavenly messenger.
However, with the optional tongue of a serpent… be mindful of the power you possess Mercurians! (Think: Parsel-tongue in Harry Potter Universe.) It’s nothing to play with because here in this Earthly realm, Saturn is dominant and it is the ruler of Karma.
You are a divine PROPHET (or Prophetess). Please handle your energy as such. 🫶🏾
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Mercurial Love Bites🐍✨
In love, they’ll have many admirers in several dimensions.
🐍I imagine a Gemini Mercurian as a sapiosexual, playboy of sorts. You’ll have your choosing of many lovers and will probably choose none… in search of new lands and ideas to learn and add to your beautiful collection.
You'll have an array of different tastes (in the bedroom as well) and will share passion with many, as you are a master of tricks.
🐍 It’s hard to lockdown a Godly intelligent being with the ability to fly away at a moments notice.
Many an earthly sign lover and watery soul will long for you and you will spin whimsical circles around them with ease, for you are too quick to catch.
Nothing too heavy or emotional, you must keep it light for this winged beauty or she’ll float away…
But, I do have to ask…my beautiful Geminis, 3rd housers if it ever gets tiresome to always be on the go?
Connecting too much to your air and neglecting your earthly connections through Mercury could leave you afloat for all eternity… alone. (This can of course be counter-acted with other placements in the natal chart.)
🐍Virgo Mercurians on the other hand are much more Earthy with their approach to love. This is the person who has thought very intricately about what the lover of their life will look like, smell like, and even their speech cadence. She eagerly awaits to be a perfect wife, organizing the home, teaching the children, etc.
Many will try to win her, as her innocent.. maiden-like energy is very attractive. While she may appear innocent, she is not naive!
All of her daily beauty routines, outfit curations, and perfected speech will not be wasted on just any man.
The Virgo's analytical eyes has surveyed many a suitor who tried to win her heart. She is looking for the perfect man. The one whom she can serve and assist while being provided for in return.
Better believe, if she chose you.. you have checked all of her boxes. For, she wants an Earthly promise...(AKA, Where's the money? If you ask me, the perfect suitor is perhaps a Capricorn or Taurus dominant. ) But, my Virgo queens... do not neglect your airy influences of Mercury as well. Life can be more rewarding than the material world.
This was a bit longer than i intended! But, I have never seen an in depth explanation of these dual energies of Mercury!
Thank you for reading! Wishing you blessings! 🪽✨
Neptune Observation♓️✨ Pluto Observation ♏️✨ Mars Observation
@thesirenisles | masterlist | Enjoyed? support🧜🏾‍♀️
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mrkeatingsblazer · 7 months ago
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The Prophecy [Oh, Was It Punishment?] Part One
Apollo x Child of Hermes! Reader
Part one Part Two
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“No man of mortal blood could ever love you.”
It rings in your ears; the words of Eros haunting you till this day. It was no major exposure like that of Nico’s, who was forced to come out to both Jason and you to appease the love God, but still; you felt as though the ugly truth of your soul was revealed to the two boys and you recall that you never liked surprises. Even though the sentence rushes and pillages through your mind like a crazed wave, you’re strangely enough soothed by it. To know that every worry and concern of your ability to be loved was not from any fault of your own but rather the weaving of the fates comforts you to the point of sighing in relief. It’s not you but what was forced of you, a true demi-god faith if you do say so yourself.
You have never been a stranger to a prophecy, being a big aid to Percy during the war against Kronos and your half-brother, Luke, and being a member of The Eight, destined to defeat Mother Earth herself, Gaia. As much as you despise prophecies you can’t help understand the glory of the previous ones you’ve been a part of. Sure, a couple friends and families die but at least you get the title of Hero of Olympus, am I right? This prophecy [is it even a prophecy or just a God's way of giving a diss] is just downright depressing. Almost as depressing as when your Godly parent was revealed.
At 15 years old, after defeating Atlas and rescuing both Lady Artemis and Annabeth, you stood as an unclaimed child watching as the Gods debated if you should all just be killed. It was only when Artemis was asking you, along with Thalia and Annabeth, to join her hunt did anyone question parentage.
“And you [name], who has not been claimed by God or Goddess alike, allow me to claim you as my own and join as a member of my hunt,” Artemis spoke with such kindness, almost reminiscent of a mother. You shook your head at that thought; she was definitely more like a big sister. Before you could even begin to respond to the Goddess, Zeus raised his hand into the air.
“The child's parent should be given the chance to claim her,” he declared with an air of authority, “before any decisions are made.”
“She is 15 solstices of age, has that not been enough time for the child's parent to claim,” Artemis rebukes with narrowed eyes only to be met with the same expression from her father.
“You first take my daughter, whom I allowed to be given,“ you heard Thalia scoff from beside you, “and now you fight against my order, purposely trying to disobey me in public.” His voice comes out icy and dangerous.
“father -” Apollo nervously begins from the throne beside his sister.
“Quiet Apollon!” Zeus demands. “If any one here owns the child speak now.”
The zoom grows silent, you watch as the Gods’ and Goddess’, interested or not, scanned the zoom waiting for someone to pipe in. Tears built up in your eyes and a lump began to form in your throat, you didn’t even have time to process or even blush when Percy slid his hand into yours, giving it a comforting squeeze.
Your eyes landed on Apollo, to his concerned frown and his perfectly furrowed eyebrow. You recall meeting him barely weeks before now, finding him alluring and bubbly as he chatted with you during the ride on his Sun Chariot. When we got to camp, you remember him engaging with his children in envy. He swung them around and messed with their hair, conversing with them with questions about their hobbies while also never failing to make them all laugh and feel included. You always kind of hoped he was your father ever since you found out you were a demi-god. You sloppily used a bow for a month straight before giving it up; everyone knew Apollo always claimed his kids a month into them being at camp. That didn’t stop you from hoping, from writing poetry and sending offerings to him every meal. Even now you hope he says something, eagerly looking at him like a moth to a light.
“She’s one of mine.” Everyone turned towards the direction of the voice, to Hermes who looked as though claiming you was the last thing he wanted to do that day. It made sense, really, and made you feel stupid for not realizing sooner. Grover always said you were a built in lie detector and you ran faster then anyone in camp, probably anyone in the world. You look up hopefully above your head to nothing; he didn’t even use his sign.
“So,” Artemis said, bringing back the attention to herself, “knowing now the God who conceived you, do you accept my offer to join my hunt?”
All eyes were on you, the deities’ large and looming forms leaned closer as if to hear your answer better even though they had perfect hearing. You once again looked, from Lady Artemis, to Lord Zeus, Lord Apollo and back to your father, Hermes. You caught a hint of interest in his deep brown eyes and sadly, that was all you needed.
“I appreciate your offer, my Lady, but I must decline.” you hear sighs from your friends beside you. Percy once again squeezed your hand, sending you one of his charming smiles that made your stomach weak. Hermes seemed quite happy with himself at your decision, as if he wasn’t forced to claim you moments prior, while Lady Artemis gracefully nodded in acceptance and that was it. There was no pulling you aside to talk with your father or even a look as far as you were aware. He partied into the night during the biggest moment of your life.
That memory fades from your mind, the lavish party of Olympus merging into the end of war celebration at Camp Half-Blood. Just like the former, you had no energy to join in with the festivities. With Leo dead there didn’t seem like there was much point to, the rest of The Eight agreed. From across the haggard bench you sat on, you watched as the sun set down upon the camp. It was poetically finite but still you had a stabbing feeling that this wasn’t finished, you weren’t finished.
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lunarluvbot · 10 months ago
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saturday sun
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
pairing : percy jackson x fem!reader
summary : a little surprise percy springs on you turns out to be one of the best afternoons at camp. or maybe that's just because you're with him?
requested : yes / no
willow's whispers : first pjo writing cause everything i see is for luke so if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself !! also im pretty sure this can be read for any godly parent. based on the song saturday sun by vance joy. I WROTE THIS IN ONE SITTING SO YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO JUDGE HOW BAD OR SHORT IT IS. I'm building up for my big fics.
warnings : literally nothing this is the most boring fic ever
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"Where are we going?" You laughed, blindly following Percy as he helped you over a fallen log.
"Oh, just somewhere you'll love," He said, and winked. "At least I hope you do. Anyways, c'mon!"
The pair of you marched through the woods of the camp, laughing, talking, teasing, and enjoying moments of silence. The sun blinked lazily between branches of giant pine trees as if Apollo was comfortably stretching out on his throne.
"Here, stop here." Percy turned to you and gave you that smile that made you fall in love a little more every time you saw it. If that was even possible. "There's a pathway over here, be careful 'cause there's a lotta rocks over here."
You followed him once again, down a narrow sloping hill and arrived on a shoreline. A small oasis even. It looked like it hadn't been touched in years, moss grew over everything, the grass was bright and stood tall as if no one's footsteps had ever crushed them down yet. Waves gently lapped the rocks and few shells scattered across the ground.
"Wow," You breathed, almost as if your normal volume would disturb this angelic peace. "When did you find this, Perce?"
Percy, who was flattening the weeds to sit on, looked up. "Huh? Oh, two days ago. During capture the flag. Then I came back yesterday to make sure some monster didn't live here and now I'm showing it to you," He finished setting up his bed that would make any Demeter kid cringe. "C'mere," Percy motioned for you to lay next to him.
You smiled and made your way over to him, easing yourself down on his patch of grass. The two of you were on your stomachs, watching the water swirl into memorizing, glittering, patterns. A sweet silence filled the air.
But the water wasn't what Percy was interested in. He just kept his eyes on you, admiring the way your face lit up when you heard your favorite bird call. The way your eyes seemed to shine in the golden god's light. The smooth curve of your lips that twitched when you smiled.
You met his eyes, the sea-green hue a painting of where the sky and the sea meet.
"Do I have something on my face?" You asked, lightly teasing him to pretend you weren't about to do the same staring as he was doing now.
Percy's eyes glinted and the wisps of his hair caught the sunlight perfectly. "No, you're just the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Art's gotta be appreciated right?"
"I guess but shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"Aw hey, quit stealing my line!" He said, poking your stomach. A giggle escaped you, one Percy knew he would fight any number of monsters to hear again.
"It's not your line! Where's your copyright claim?"
Instead of answering right away, Percy wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close. He tucked a fly-away strand of hair out of your face and pressed his lips gently to yours. It felt like the first breath of spring, when the flowers peek from their earthly shield and remind the world that only precious things take time.
"It's right here."
And he kisses you again.
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kaszuma · 5 months ago
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Aera Perennius | Hoshina Soshiro
Part 7 of “Certainly Yours”
pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x fem!reader
summary: soshiro was never one to raise his voice at anyone. But the one time he did, it was because he almost lost you for good.
warnings: Slight Kn8 Manga Spoilers, Description of Pain / Injuries / Hospitalizations, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Arguments, Cursing, Slight mention of self-harm
wc: 9,793
note: I finiahed it earlier than anticipated so here you go-- I had such a difficult time writing this because I've been so busy. There were so many changes and the original draft had been scrapped so many times that it almost made me want to give up and start over. But lucky I didn't or I would've not updated in time. So, yay!
English is hard haha and sometimes it hates me and just doesn't make sense when I read it in my mind versus when I read it outloud. Anyways I will be doing slower updates, so no definitive dates nor titles for the next parts yet. But Part 8 and 9 will be back-to-back spicy NSFW stuff (courtesy of reaching 200 Followers. Thank you lots by the way), So stay tuned!! This is not proofread. So if I missed any warnings feel free to tell me. 🫶
Sleep had come naturally to you.
The sound of rapid footsteps and muffled yelling had all but faded into the distance as mere whispers against your ears.
Such rapidness did not seem to fit the silence of what had initially surrounded you. The sudden weight of your own body being dragged left and right until your vision blurs. The stark darkness of city skylines transformed into the unnatural shine of the hospital's fluorescent lights; one that made it hard to pick people's silhouettes apart.
And as such, it reminds you of the distant past.
One that was filled with vast open fields, very unlike the corporate labs you had been accustomed with. A stark contrast to the very corners of Japan, in the countryside where your grandparents had established a simple life for themselves. Filled to the brim with rice crops and summer cicadas.
And it makes you reminisce about the short time you'd spend there. On the cool nights after your summer school days would inevitably end. And you'd be dragged to a summer house where cousins and relatives had doted on you.
Such a homeward bound place was a far cry to the bustling streets of Tokyo's Eastern divisions. Which had often been endowed with the familiar cries of loud music and the steady rumbles of heavy railways underneath you.
One that Kaiju had lamented no peace from.
Even in the midst of high-story buildings where your workplace had boasted the use of sound proof walls. The cityscapes nearest Izumo Tech Corporation could not even be muzzled by its titanium doors, of which Japan's Top Secret Bioweapons had been kept. Schematics and all.
You had grown used to such a taciturn work environment.
Your existence is thrown into the small bubble of your private lab. Segregated from your coworker who valued work over social relations. And you had been much the same.
You and the rest of the technicians were far too focused on your projects. Tinkering away at the prototype suits that the company had sent your way. A partnership between your parent company and Japan’s Defense Force. A task of which you and a few others had been selected to create and maintain.
And how lucky you had been, to land yourself a snug spot in the notoriety of the Third Division's wake. The very same division that had boasted the least amount of casualties in the case of a large-scale Kaiju attack.
The very same division where Mina Ashiro had led and mounted into victory.
And you'd consider yourself lucky to have known such an amazing person in this lifetime.
For fate to have led her to you, you'd assume you've somehow accumulated some sort of good karma in your past life. The reward to you had been fresh in this new one. An action that had garnered some godly being to bestow upon you a chance to meet your soulmate.
You'd be remiss with disappointment if you hadn't met Soshiro Hoshina in this lifetime.
But prior to that. Before Ashiro had recruited you into her division, you had little to no contact with the officers on-field. Delegated to the simple task of sending blueprints in and out of Tachikawa's base should the time arise; begrudgingly in the early mornings of every month too.
Back then, you had befriended a bespectacled girl named Okonogi. Who wore a slightly bigger uniform than the rest of the recruits. A quirk of hers which you found rather amusing. She, who wholeheartedly believed she might still grow into the uniform that was two sizes too bigger than what was recommended of her.
And you had remembered the day you had met her too.
It was another typical day in your routine. Delivering notes to Captain Ashiro in and out of bases. Though this time, you had decided upon taking a detour. Seeing the empty spaces of the mess hall which granted you an opportune moment of grabbing some coffee.
And such a detour had led you upon the bespectacled girl. Your documents slipping from your very fingertips. And your other hand, which held the coffee mind you. Accidentally toppling over. Spilling the liquid against her pristine ivory lab coat. Staining it.
Lucky it had not been hot, or else that could've been an accident in the making.
“I am… so sorry about that.” Your eye catches the glimpse of her nametag, stained with a bit of caffeine. Okonogi was what it read. And you were already pulling out a handkerchief from your pocket. Intent on correcting the mistake you made.
“No, it's okay. Really.”
The sincerity in her voice made you visibly flinch. And you had half a mind to just shove her your wallet, a chance given to compensate her for the coat you ruined. But the look on her eyes was determined. Abrupt in the way she had declined you.
“Are you sure? Money shouldn't be a problem. I can definitely get you a better coat within the day..” You spoke with much guilt. And yet she insisted.
“No need, really! It's just a stain. Nothing a bit of bleach can't handle.” She moves lower with a smile, one hand tucked behind her knees as she tries to pick up the few folders scattered on the ground.
“-Lucky it didn't hit the documents! Or the Director would definitely have our heads for it.” Okonogi had surprisingly jested your way. And a small laugh bubbles between the two of you in turn. As if you had known each other for quite some time now.
“I suppose so.” You had spoken between giggles. The sentiment shared between the two had all but eased the tension of the room.
And the brunette had gingerly handed you the pile of documents that had been untarnished. Though, one in particular catches her trained eye.
It was a simple list of materials used for the next batch of combat suits to-be-made. Or at least, that was the pitch you had planned to present today. In the hopes that Mina Ashiro would give it enough attention and send it to command for a much more direct approval.
And Okonogi, who was a newbie at the time. Had known all too well of the budding genius you had been. A technician far too enraptured in improving Combat Suits and weapons catering for strange combat. One that did not conform to the normalcy of firearms which had modernized the era.
And it seems one of your papers in particular had caught her attention. Like a hammer against glass.
It was a series of notes and drawings involving bronze wires that resembled the muscle groups of a Kaiju's inner workings. All built into the combat suit that had been Izumo Tech's symbolic masterpiece.
And its Kaiju plating was as amazing as it was unconventional. Built to last no doubt in the wake of an ever evolving organization.
Okonogi could not help but stare at it. Admiring the artistry and engineering involved in such a concept.
“An idea of yours?” She asks. And you nod in turn. Surprised by the way she did not immediately question the schematics.
Normally you'd be met with strange looks. One that questioned the very ethics of your research for involving Kaiju parts into the combat suits.
But the Defense Force had long since been converting strong Kaiju into weaponry. And applying the same sentiments to a combat suit, should be no different. “That's right.”
“I was hoping to improve the current designs of the Combat Suits.” You admitted. “If it succeeds, it might help our soldiers a lot more. Survivability wise..I mean.”
And Okonogi smiles at this. A layer of irony mixed in with the few laughs that bubbled within her chest.
She knew how fragile lives can be. Especially in their line of work where they had faced massive enemies almost on a daily basis. And a battle of attrition against such monsters? It was never a pretty picture.
But still, it had been a rare sight to see one so dedicated with quality of life improvements. And it was as if Okonogi knew that she'd be able to trust you with such a task.
“Glad to see you working on it! People have been volunteering less and less these days. But if we had better tech, I'm sure our members would increase by a large margin.”
Her assurance made you nod. Already taking the paper from her hands and delicately sliding it back to the rest of the folders you held. Carefully standing as the both of you had come to smile at each other.
“If there's a chance it can save lives. There's no harm in trying. It's just a part of the job.”
“There's definitely a truth in that.” Okonogi remained positive with a dip to her head. Making her rimmed glasses slide gently from the bridge of her nose. A tilt in her head as she next spoke.
“-But, why use bronze by the way? Wouldn't steel or alloy be a better alternative?”
You had looked over to the notes peeking from your file. And a smile is etched on the very corner of your lips. Complacent in the way you had so easily looked at her, as if you knew something she did not.
“There's a saying you see.”
Okonogi tilts her head upward. Who had finally moved to fixate her gaze to you. Eyes meeting with the absolute tenacity and confidence at your craft. “...a saying?”
You nod. “They say that some people should seek things that are more lasting than bronze.”
“Does bronze not last very long?”
“Oh it does. But even in metals, people try to find something much better right?” Okonogi who had paused to think about your words. Had only nodded in turn. Your sentiment was a much more refreshing and positive take than she had imagined it to be.
“I intend to find that material. One that would make a monument more lasting than the lives we lost.”
And Okonogi’s breath hitches. And you had looked her in the eye, with a determination she was sure would last you a lifetime. “Even if that means I have to dissect a Kaiju and use its very skin as armor.”
A bit morbid for her take. But still, she couldn't help but admire your tenacity. It was the same sentiment she'd see with the soldiers. And somehow, it reminds her of a certain someone who was all smiles despite wielding a blade.
“I suppose most Kaiju do have a layer of tough skin..” She jested. And your shoulders shake with a bubbling smile. The start of a silly friendship perhaps, where Soshiro's eyes would soon flicker your way.
And somehow things just started to click into place.
You didn't know if it was fate. Had it been Okonogi or Mina Ashiro that led you to him. But it wasn't until a few weeks later, you had found yourself responsible for the Third's technical division. Overseeing much of the repairs and weapon upgrades needed for Kaiju slaying. And it was in that very same division where you had grown much closer to him.
A strange recruit, scouted from the Kansai district. Where Captain Ashiro had particularly shown a keen interest in. His skill in the blade had been incomparable to his peers. And although he boasted the highest individual body-count when it came to handling melee pursuits. You had once thought him stupid for sticking to a fighting technique that had long since aged from the existence of firearms.
But how wrong you had been in judging him for that.
Okonogi often reminded you not to be too harsh on him whenever the two of you had just so happened to meet. Jesting that you two would've made a stellar couple, had you both given each other a chance. And although you've denied such things a few times before, Soshiro would always take a glance at you as if reading the expressions on your face. Thoroughly investigating the subtle expressions you wore that would've reached his conclusion.
And each time after that, he too would answer for you. A denial. A white lie.
And Okonogi always saw through it of course. She had been there since the beginning. Serving cupid for the both of you.
And when she can, she had always been peppy in her step. Pushing the both of you in a particular direction. Waiting for one of you to make a move. Calculated like masters playing chess on a board. By far you two had been hopeless. If it wasn’t for Okonogi’s encouragement, Soshiro wouldn’t have thought to visit you between breaks. And how lucky you had been to have the girl pry him out of his skittish shell.
It’s a wonder you two had gotten together like this.
You had rarely seen the girl frown or be frustrated over anything. Let alone your own bite when it comes to Soshiro's mixed signals.
So it had been a sudden whiplash, seeing her so frightened above you. Her voice had been unusually drawled and shaky as she repeated your name. Trying to keep you awake despite the far off look you had in the depths of your irises.
Wait.
Why was it so blurry all of a sudden?
Where were you again?
Right.
You were injured. And from the look on her face, it was probably worse than you had realized. The trickle of an unfamiliar liquid slid down your forehead to the very height of your cheek. Where you could’ve sworn a clawed hand had been there to comfort you.
Larger than your own, and definitely plated with armor. Gently grazing the very skin of your cheek.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
It's starting to hurt. The pain on your lower back had suddenly hit you like a metric ton of weighted bricks. Like something jagged and sharp had punctured through you. A result from a bad fall.
“Sweetheart. Keep yer’ eyes open alright?”
You heard a deep rumble from the side. And your eyes pried away from Okonogi's disturbed features. Suddenly enamored by the wine red irises that looked at you as if you had gone through hell and back.
Had it really been that bad?
Last you checked, you were narrowly able to escape Kaiju's attacks. The flashes of its flaky features had encompassed your mind’s eye. And the ground below you had bellowed like a monster’s mouth. Suddenly ripping open as a shockwave had violently lifted you from your feet.
And like a leaf on a windy day, you were blown to the side. Crashing harshly against the window of a boutique. A stray shard puncturing your lower back to the point of near paralysis. And it leaves you barely conscious to see the not so lucky victims that tried to escape the Kaiju.
One group in particular had been crushed by the rubble of a building. And somehow the scent of blood and bones was enough to knock you out cold. Their downfall would’ve made you vomit, had you not been injured and too dizzy to think about it all.
And as morbid as it sounded, you had been fortunate enough to have only been thrown aside. Sacked into a world of pain which had reminded you that you were very much alive. It had been a miracle that Soshiro found you when he did. Despite the slight sprain on his ankle and the sores he felt in the muscles of his arms. He forced himself to run. Empowered to meet with you, ushered by the help of Number 10’s powers.
And like clockwork he was led straight to you. The fears he had once buried deep in the back of his brain had all came flooding through.
And he didn’t know what to do.
You heard a few voices then.
Although it was barely comprehensible, you could make out a few distinct ones from the array of shouts. Your name in particular was whispered in a prayer. Begging you not to fall asleep despite the odd temptation to. And sure enough, the back and forth argument you heard between two figures was enough to keep your mind and heart racing with urgency. The look between Okonogi and Soshiro’s face had all been so different than usual that it frightens you so.
But despite the noise, despite the shouting. You heard him in clear daylight. Like it had been the only voice in the room. Isolated from the rest who had rushed in a frenzy.
“I got ya’ alright? I’m here baby. I’m right here.”
His reassurances had blanked when his voice cracked. Desperate like he had been ready to cry. The way your name had escaped his lips was almost hesitant. As if he didn't deserve to call you out. And you wanted to stop him before his thoughts could drift further. But your voice had failed you when you needed it most. A soft cry escaping your lips instead.
I'm okay.
I'm here.
I'm alive.
All of that died the moment it tried to leave your throat. And without those very words. Soshiro's face was left to contort. As if he were the one in pain instead of you. And how he'd wished that were the case.
“Let me through!”
You heard him scream. And your eyes had focused just enough to see Okonogi and a few nurses blocking his pathway to you. Desperately trying to push past them despite the grievances.
The sight had been a blur.
One second your vision was fine. The next you had felt the telltale signs of drowsiness hit you. And you feel the way the pain medication had started to kick in when your eyes had isolated itself from the world. Your body’s exhaustion hits you squarely on the chest down to your very toes. And when you had been dragged to the next room over. Soshiro had been the last face you had seen before separation. Sleep pulling you over until your breath is taken from you in that instance.
Your name had been the only thing Soshiro could say afterwards.
“I said let me through–That's an order from your Superior Officer, Okonogi.” Soshiro had warned her. Voice uncharacteristically deep when issuing an order. It was normally never used in this way. Such a tone was only ever used to command Number 10 when he had been too stubborn to listen.
But the bespectacled girl knew better than to fan the flame. And in retrospect, she out of anyone would understand his frustrations the most. Yet she stood her ground. Gently shaking her head at her heated friend.
“Vice Captain.” Okonogi started. Hands already raised to try and calm him down. And she could see it in his eyes; the way it subconsciously followed the rolling bed they had put you in.
Dragging your bed into another room where only the best medical practitioners had worked on you. And yet despite that, he couldn't find it in himself to sit still. His gut sinking at the mere thought of you getting worse than when he had already found you in. And he was willing to bet Weapons 10 had all but read the blatant emotions he displayed on his sleeve. With or without having to delve into his mind.
He was in utter ruin just from your condition.
“-Please understand. You cannot, in under any circumstances enter the surgery room, sir.”
“To hell with that!”
The scream had made Okonogi frown. And Soshiro had half a mind to push past the smaller woman. And rush forward with Number 10's help. But he stopped midway. Reminding himself that his suit could go on a rampage at any time. And right now, he did not want to expose Okonogi and a handful of civilians to Number 10's war-ridden desires. His deep baritones had instead vanished for more firm ones. Unlike the resentment from prior. Oddly curt in his delivery.
“Move. Or I’ll do somethin’ drastic.” He steps forward.
A threat is a threat, and he hoped that would at least be enough to convince the bespectacled girl to move. Yet Okonogi had known him for far too long to actually perceive it as one. And she looks unfazed by his words.
“Sir please.” She pleaded. “It'll only worry you more.”
Her voice was gentle. Understanding even. It almost reminded him of the way you speak at times. Stern but with a hint of softness when it came to his stubbornness. And how he wished it was you he was talking to right now.
“Just please try to calm down. We should get your own wounds treated first and then we can-”
“Fuck no. I'm going in there and-”
“Hoshina.” The stern voice of their Captain had made them both flinch. And the heavy cleats of Mina Ashiro'a footsteps had gotten louder as she had made her way closer to the two.
“Captain Ashiro.” Soshiro had spoken with a much more leveled tone than he did earlier. Hand raising into a salute as the rest followed suit. Though even in his greeting, his frustrations had still been made entirely clear. And he was more than willing to face insubordination just to get to you. But Mina was one step ahead of him.
“Hoshina. You’re causing a disturbance and deliberately disrupting the medical wing from doing their job--I'd let you run some laps. But I can see you're injured.”
Soshiro had glanced down at his body, a light scoff emerging from his lips when she had noticed the way he stood, limping.
“Patch your own wounds up and we can discuss it later.”
And Soshiro had frowned at the way she immediately knew. A sixth sense perhaps that he had been getting sloppy. And sometimes he feared Mina Ashiro would kick him out of the Third because of it. But Mina made no such accusation, instead her eyes had been understanding.
Firm as they usually are, she, like Okonogi, was quite aware of your relationship with Soshiro. And by all means, she understood his sentiment.
Today had been a jumbled mess. And Soshiro was practically facing the very brunt of it all.
With you as its victim.
“But-”
“That's an order, Vice Captain. Do not make me repeat myself.” Her stern reply had been met with his half-meant glare. Red irises swirling with thoughts before ultimately concluding that Mina had been right. Okonogi too. He'd just been too stubborn to see it.
And for a good few seconds, he finally drops his own staring.
Reluctant as he had finally turned around. Facing Okonogi with a sort of defeated look in his eyes. Uncharacteristic to her as he'd normally be so cheery, even in the face of impending death.
He'd be thrown into a pit. And as long as he was still kickin’ he'd probably end up smiling and joking about it the next day.
This had definitely been a first for the two to witness.
And although Mina had not usually been the closest to Soshiro. He couldn't help but make an exception this time. She'd waive him of running laps, not as an officer. But as her friend. And a stern hand was placed squarely on his shoulder. Gently giving it a pat of reassurance. One that Okonogi would follow up with her own.
“It'll be okay. Right Captain?” Okonogi glanced between the two.
“That's right. I'll see to it personally that she gets the best care. For now, get yourself patched up–That'll be the punishment you get for speaking to your superior officer.” She awkwardly spoke. Though a small reassuring smile had cracked on the face of her usually hardened expressions.
And such a sentiment from both the girls had silenced him before he could think of another protest to answer with.
“understood.” He begrudgingly spoke. His hand balling into tight fists at the possibility that you'd wake up without him by your side.
Bronze was made to last, yet it wasn't exempt from tarnish after all.
“Good. I'll inform you shortly once her treatment is done–Okonogi.”
“Yes?” Her reply had been immediate.
“Make sure his wounds are treated. And, I expect a detailed report on Number 10's latest excursion later.”
“Roger.” Okonogi had saluted. And Soshiro watched her as she slowly walked past them. Entering the very same room where he had not even had the chance to take a glimpse in.
His arms had gently felt the pull to another direction. Okonogi had done well at Mina's request as he had all but dragged his feet further away from the blaring red lights of the operating room.
And the flicker of your sleeping face was all that’s left before he too was separated somewhere else.
A place where he was left to wonder what will become of you. And for a moment, his distinct thought was a scenario where he hadn't met you.
If only he hadn't asked you out that day..things would've turned differently.
Right?
Your eyes blew wide open. The strangled breaths you took were caught on your throat as you could smell the bitter antiseptics nip the back of your nostrils. It reminded you of a hospital. That of which you had the unpleasant experience of having to frequent anytime Soshiro would come back to base injured.
Often you'd be on the other side of his bed. A frown on your face as the condition of his health had been on the top of your mind. And each time with a smile, he'd make a joke to ease the tension in the room. A signal to indicate he had been alright. Despite the lack of words you two would exchange.
Habitually it was you unharmed. You left to worry at his bedside.
So it had been a rare sight indeed, to find yourself on the opposite side of the spectrum.
Laid in thin hospital robes. Connected to a needle of an IV drip. The constant flow of medicine made you drowsy and your thoughts jumbled into a mesa of numbness. And if you had looked at the amount of bandages wrapped around your torso you'd surely start squirming in place.
But just when you were about to scrutinize the heavy onset of your heartrate’s monitor. The blaring sound was all but silenced when you heard the familiar tremors of his voice. Smooth and soft, like you had always heard them as.
“Yer’ finally awake.”
You turned to his direction. Bright eyes had met his own which had been as familiar as it was squinted. His irises were more crystalline and tired than usual. Puffy on the corners, like he hadn't been given a chance to get a good night’s sleep between your hospitalization.
And yet, despite the unfamiliarity of his somber tone; the despondent frowns he'd make.
His voice had been the sound you missed the most.
“Soshiro..” You croak out. Voice dry like someone had stuffed cotton down your throat. And you try your best to scoot closer. To move and stand like you had always done when faced towards him. But this greeting would cut short. Hands restrained by firm bandages and hollow tubes that weighed heavily on your skin. And you hadn't realized the mumble of a barely audible whimper from your mouth. One that Soshiro could not miss even if he tried to.
Soshiro noticed the way you had squirmed. Struggling to sit up. Which made him all the more vigilant. And he ends up closing the small leatherbound book he'd always brought with him. Sinking it back on his pocket where you had been accustomed to seeing it.
Walking much closer to you in an attempt to calm and shush you.
“Where are we?” You asked him. And his fingers hesitantly graze your cheek. The same way when you had blood trickling down it moments prior. “Base. The Medical wing took ya’ in.”
His words were oddly curt in delivery. And although the average person who knew Soshiro on a surface level could probably not tell. You were able to differentiate the distinct way his voice had sounded odd. Such sentiments laid rather clearly for you. And you can see the layer of guilt etched on his stiff face.
“Okonogi?” You inquired. And he gives you a nod.
“Safe. I'll call her for ya’ later so she doesn't worry.” and you let out a breathless sigh. Your head slumping against the cushion of the soft pillow. The lingering feeling of glass and cement on you had all been but a pipe dream now. A memory that you'd soon forget.
And how Soshiro wished it was that easy for him to forget.
“How are you feelin? I can call the nurse for ya if anything hurts.” He moves to turn around.
Eyes already searching for the small caller that was given to him in case of emergencies. Though your hand, as painful as it felt, had pulled him in. Weak fingertips grabbing the sleeves of his jacket to refuse him. Your eyes remained squinted as they were sharp despite the fatigue. And you caught the glimpse of bandages wrapped around his skin. A stark testament to the rest of his unblemished face.
“What happened?” You had immediately tried to get up. Alert in the way you had wanted to reach out and inspect his own injuries. But the fatigue of your body had stopped you. Causing you to slump forward and unto his willing arms who had been cautious in the way he handled you.
“Easy. You're still…not well.” Soshiro gently nudged you back down. Hand placed squarely on your chest to ease you into the pillow. But you stubbornly persisted. Compromising by sitting up against the bed's headboard instead.
“That doesn't matter. What's more important is, what happened to you. Are you alright?”
“That doesn't matter? Are you seriously askin’ me that right now?” For a moment you mistake his scoff for a laugh. His hands which had held you firmly had just as quickly left leaving the spot on your skin cold and yearning for his proximity.
Had you said something wrong? This aggression was unlike him.
Soshiro was rarely this agitated. And your voice couldn't help shrivel in meek irritation. Unsure whether you should respond back with much the same turbulence.
“Should I…not be asking you that?” You spoke unsure. And he shakes his head in turn.
“You were dead-still for five days straight and yer tellin’ me THAT doesn't matter right now?”
You didn't know how else to reply. The way his tone had shifted into a scoff had made you double back to glare at his face. For once since you awoke, you truly saw how tense he had been. Gone was his usual suave smile that made you laugh or cry in between meetings.
He had been too worried to focus on that. But you had been too frustrated at this sudden change. That it made your voice come more forcefully than you anticipated. “Well isn't it obvious? I'm worried about you.”
You replied. Your own expression had squished into rapid vexation. And you see the way he takes a few steps back, too far for your touch to reach. And it pained you that you couldn't just stand up and make him face you like you usually could.
“And you think I don't feel the same!?” He spoke loudly. Causing your shoulders to flinch in turn. One he had regretted as soon as he spoke. And yet, he continued.
“You don't think..that I didn't nearly kill myself when I found you bleeding in the middle of that goddamn street?” He pointed out the window.
And your expression had turned liquid at the images that flash in your mind. Imagining how he had found you. His thoughts, his expressions..you could only imagine the torment he felt the moment he found you. Barely breathing.
His breaths came in gasps. Eyes widened so that you can clearly see the crimson of his eyes peeking through. And suddenly you notice the way Soshiro had oddly been so vulnerable in front of you. The quips on your sore throat began to die down when you saw how frustrated–how fearful he had looked in the moment. And gods did you wish you woke up sooner just to comfort him.
“No–that’s not what I meant. I only wanted to know if you were okay. Is it so wrong to ask?”
“Well maybe ya’ shouldn't have asked at all.” He huffed out. Looking away from you with regret lingering on his features.
It was stupid. He thought To get so frustrated over something so tiny. But as much as Soshiro Hoshina excluded the guise of a proper adult. He had been flawed just like the rest of everyone else. And he'd be lying if he didn't have his moments of doubt. Often scrutinizing in the lonely privacy of his home. Where he knew no one would bother him.
That is of course, before you had entered his life.
But not everything was understood between the two of you. Okonogi was a witness to the piles of misunderstandings you both had caused. And without help you two were likely never to get along, habitually falling for the same skittish routine you had played at.
But a miracle happened. With him belonging to you. And you belonging to him.
So why was it that your heart cramped so much? Surely it was not the pains of a physical injury. Let alone a type of sickness.
Instead it was struck by simple bad habits and insecurities. One of which even you had trouble dealing with. And the loud firmness of his voice had made such an impact on your heart that you began to frown. Unable to hold back your bite.
“What is your problem!?” You started. “Listen, can we just please have this conversation some other time. And then we can-”
“And then we can, what? Do you want me to just sit here and forget that all happened?” He had interjected.
And suddenly you feel your brows knit tightly. Eyes feeling heavy from the burst of a headache you had gotten. Of all the times Soshiro wanted to argue, it's the time you had just woken up.
But he wasn't entirely unjustified.
There have been plenty of moments where you had fanned the flames of a fire that should've ended right then and there. Your word choice is poor and your temperament less than ideal.
For as frustrated as you had been, you understood Soshiro's sentiments. And your hands had raised as a sort of white flag. Not needing this fight to escalate more than it should.
Not when you were both injured and all you wanted to do was crawl into his arms.
“-Listen Soshiro, I didn't mean to upset you. I only wanted to know if you were okay.”
“Does that matter?” He repeats your own words. And you had to hold back another jab of acknowledgement. Smart in the way he played his words. It almost made you want to laugh. But this time, your intent came from sincerity.
And his small play of mockery had been a sight for sore eyes, since you had quickly gotten the gist of what he had been trying to convey. Wrong in your choice of words. This time, you correct your mistake. Sincerity and all.
“Yes it matters. More than anything– of course it matters.” You had told him. And you see the way Soshiro’s mouth quivers into a small tremble. Uncanny when he'd normally be so laid-back and sweet when it came to you.
And how you'd wish he just took a breather and relaxed. Maybe take a break so that they could talk things out. Without yelling preferably. But that had not been possible. At least not just yet from the way he replied.
“Well had I not made it in time, you woulda’ been dead. Do you hear me?”
“And yet, Here. I. Am. A witness to your unwarranted behavior.”
“Behavior that's justified because I shouldn't have let you outta my sight.”
Silence had followed soon after. Your mouth gapes for a moment to think of a reply when the words slip past your lips. And Soshiro would note how uncharacteristic that was, even for you. He, who was always used to your quick replies and clever jabs. But it seems his words had cut too far this time.
And he pried his eyes away from you. Chest heaving as he ran a hand through his face. “I shouldn't have..”
He composed himself. Clearing his throat whilst you looked at him with an etched frown on your face. One that he wished would go away. But he had been the cause of this.
He had been the one to make your smile go away. And it somehow makes him feel even worse.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just-”
“Soshiro.” Your voice sounded like bells. And when he looked up, relief had immediately sagged his shoulders upon seeing your gaze blown wide open. Not at all restrained by the pain medication and exhaustion you had felt.
And your hand had gently reached up to grab his own. Gentle in the way her thumb caressed his knuckle which had been previously so bruised and bloodied.
And although there was a struggle to reach for his hand. Your touch was met halfway. Gently threading your much softer skin that would've paled in comparison to a blanket had he not taken glances.
“What happened back there wasn't your fault. We couldn't have known that the Kaiju would follow me back to the shelter.” You whisper. And Soshiro's expression had turned serious. Like he held a weight that you couldn't possibly fathom even if you tried.
“And yet I let it slip away.”
“I let it get to you, and now you're in here because of me.” He had wanted to so badly pull away from you. To walk himself out before he could be tempted to lean back into those pretty eyes of yours. But the moment he met your sight.
Those sad eyes of yours had been his journey's end. And he couldn't do that to you. Not when your expression had frustratingly asked him to stay.
“And yet it was also because of you that I'm still alive and breathing, Soshiro.” You reasoned. “You don't give yourself enough credit. If it hadn't been for you I would've been-”
“Dead.” He cut you off. “You would've been dead.”
“No. You wouldn't have allowed that. You're the Vice Captain, remember? If there's anywhere safer for me, it's by your side.” You didn't know whether such assurances had really made him listen. The way he was assured in that answer of his wasn't a mere fortnight conclusion. It was as if he had been thinking of such consequences for a much longer time, and that alone makes your heart sink.
So you scooted closer. Moving in to try and pull him down so that you could wrap your arms around his neck. And just when you were snaking it through his shoulders. His hands had stopped you midway.
His calloused palms holding on to the points of your elbows as he gently pries you off of him.
Normally this would be met with your pout. Maybe another bout of force just let the stubborn man look your way. But you had been too weak, still healing from an injury you had no control over. And his response is far too swift for your liking. Leaving your arms missing the warmth his body could provide you.
“No, no, no, no, no–no. You don't understand. I don't deserve to be anywhere near you right now.” He had managed to convince himself. Looking away as the anxiety within you had spiked upon his words.
“Soshiro. Listen to me we can-”
“What I’m saying is that we're done here.”
You had blinked. Looking up at him who had towered above your bed. A somber look on his expression despite the daunting words he had spoken. He looked passive. Unaffected even. Like he had been ready for this moment which had been planned for a long time coming. And your voice could only muster a feeble whisper.
“What do you mean we're done?”
“It's over.” Soshiro continued. Not once paying your face any heed. Lest he change his mind from doing you a greater good he deemed correct. “I don't want anything to do with ya’ anymore.”
If this had been a dream you would've laughed at the way he delivered such a sentiment.
You'd somehow suppress the inner workings of your shock and you'd wake up to find the morning documents you promised yourself to do; in the desk untouched where it usually had been.
And by the time you left your room, you'd habitually laugh it off and tell Soshiro about it in the afternoon just to get a chuckle and light scolding out of him. The usual banter that admittedly, had always been the highlight of your day.
But this had not been a dream.
And hearing him say that. Had hurt more than you anticipated it seemed. And your voice cracks before you can even register yourself speaking.
"Is this because you think I can't love you?" The sudden appearance of tears had painted your face. And you had tried to sniff away the bigger ones that threatened to spill over. But to no avail.
And Soshiro’s eyes widen at the telltale signs of your crying. An unexpected third party which had not been invited to the list of things he ought to do. And his head reels to face you once more. Seeing your face redden with a shame he'd never thought he'd see.
"Do you really think that I'm incapable of willingly loving you? Even beyond that fucking sword of yours-" And Soshiro had all but shook his head. Remorseful in the way tears had jerked from your eyes.
"That ain't the point!"
"Then what IS the point!?" Your tears had blurred your vision. And your hand had embarrassingly moved up to wipe it. One that Soshiro had wished to do for himself had he not been so stubborn.
“-What is the point if I can't make sense of you trying to leave me?"
The turmoil in your voice had been made present. One so encompassing that Soshiro couldn't ignore. And as much as it hurts you to scream. It hurt him to see you suddenly cry like this. Someone he associated as being so usually strong-willed, crumbling in a few short words from him. And suddenly, it feels as if he wants to swallow back his words. Mouth churned into regret when he had moved to take a step closer to you.
“Sweetheart, please..I-”
He shook his head. Suddenly finding himself kneeling down in front of your bed. And when your eyes had met his, it was as if his heart had stopped momentarily. Too focused on the way you had looked at him in desperation. Mixed with both physical and emotional pain.
And he had been the cause of that. Regrettably he knew he had been the cause of that.
"Is the idea of me loving you THAT terrible of a concept to you?" you spoke flimsily. Words betraying the tone you wanted to convey. And somehow you felt worse than when blood was unnaturally seeping out of your wound.
And his own body. One that betrayed his own commands, had a mind of its own. Strong arms wrapping around your bandaged ones that had still been healing from the minor cuts you had accumulated. And the warm steady beat of his heart had drowned you back into reality. Cheeks pressed against his and regrettably, soiling his jacket.
Not that he minded of course. Far too focused on wiping your tears away. Shushing you when you'd shudder from the breathless sniffles he'd been the cause of.
"Shit- no sweetheart no. I didn't mean it."
“I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” His instant apologies and regrets had echoed for a few moments. The sudden urge to calm you down had him reeling just to caress your shoulders. Weary of the injuries you were faced with as you cried in his arms.
And the struggling shudders you were faced with had all been too painful to see. Comical in the way he had all but worsened your condition when stressing a healing patient had been the last thing people needed to be reminded of.
Yet here you were, struggling to even cry when every breath would agitate any bandaged injuries you'd gotten. And it had been his fault entirely.
“I'm not leaving ya. I'm right here..” He whispered. And you had forcibly glanced up. Seeing the way his distress had wrinkled those usually foxy eyes. Like he had suddenly gained a keen sense of his stupidity and finally realized that his sentiments were not helping you. And upon realization you couldn't help but feel how silly all this had been.
You would've laughed had you not wasted such excess energy into crying your heart out in front of him. Likely an accumulation from the week's worth of not being able to see each other.
That and other things, which were obvious enough.
But you spoke. Wanting to pick his thoughts apart. Reason with him the next time this may happen. And your eyes flutter away the tears as you had finally managed to calm down enough to ask him.
“Then why? Why even suggest that?” Your voice had been soft. His thumbs move to caress the stray tears away from your face. Even moving to casually use his sleeves to gently wipe your cheeks in assurance of his presence. And you close your eyes at the simple gesture. Suddenly feeling much better now that he had been so close to you like this.
Crap, he set himself up didn't he? And just when he had this all planned out too.
In the wake of your hospitalization, he had planned to leave you. Somehow make you change occupations. Maybe work for a tech company where your life wouldn't be on the line. Where you'd be far away from his life and you could live a happy, seperate life from him.
But who was he kidding? Even he thinks it's stupid. The idea of doing you the greater good.
It had sounded conclusive back then.
He'd likely die young, a Kaiju attack that he had lacked defenses in no doubt. And somehow, you'd weasel your way out and live an old happy life.
Like bronze. Tarnished but long lasting.
But you had seen through his intention. And every right to refuse such a concept had knocked him over the head. A simple shed of tears was all it took for such a carefully built wall to crumble. His resolve in shambles at the mere thought of you leaving.
And to take that away from you. To separate the both of you like that? It felt wrong. And somehow his stupidity makes him laugh.
And the next words uttered had been voluntary on his part. Sloppy but it came out from an honest place. That even he doubted its power.
"Because, it scares me how much I need you. Okay?" He leans in. Head against your own so that your noses would touch. And you could see the little cracks on that smile of his. A stark contrast to the facade of laughs he'd usually give off. And it makes your heart flutter upon such fleeting confessions.
"Just hearing that voice of yours is enough to wreck me. And ruin me for anybody else."
"And when I saw you. Layin' there with that faraway look on your eyes. I just couldn't fucking breathe."
The way his eyes had not once left yours had felt like the first time you had met him. In that room with the Captain watching your interactions.
You had been less amicable to each other by then. Always second guessing each other by investigating the little nuances of your expressions. But somehow, the difficulties in reading each other had not been so far fetched. And the longer you two would spend time together. The more you had an inkling of what the other was thinking. And eventually an unspoken understanding had come between the both of you.
One that required no words to speak. Nor assistance from anywhere else. Just you and him. Nothing more.
"What If I lose you? You're all I fucking have.."
"Soshiro.” You whispered. Suddenly feeling the weight of his words drop down on you upon his realization. And you shake your head in turn. Immediately running your hands on the soft tresses of his hair. “You’re not going to lose me.”
“And what if I did?” He was quick to interject. “What if I had been a second too late and you were killed?”
“-And yet I'm still here. See?” You moved his intertwined hands to your chest. Firmly letting him feel the pulse of your heart. A repetition had to be made in order to convince him. And if you had to do such things a million times, there was no doubt you’d do it a thousand more times.
And his hand couldn't help but press firmly. Gingerly looking everywhere to check your wellbeing. Satisfied when he had settled in your slightly puffy eyes that he had been all too remorseful of when he found it too pretty to look away from.
You leaned in. Pressing light kisses against his cheeks to calm his thoughts. The voice in the back of his head all but silenced. When the adrenaline kicked in, because somehow he found himself unfocused when he caught your lips in his.
It was short and sweet.
Far different from the many picturesque and grandiose kisses he'd read about in books. And far too slow amidst the rush hours of your working breaks. Where you'd snag a few touches here and there just to get a rise out of each other. No this had been far too different. Far too gentle than it normally was. But despite the innocence of such a contact. It had made a more lasting impact on him.
The hesitation implied vulnerability, and without it. You'd be remiss to see Soshiro's true feelings underneath it. And it makes you pull away to rub your own hands against his chest. Admiring the way his uniform had engulfed him warmly in the cold air conditioning in the room.
All that matters was that they were okay now.
All that matters is that they are together now. Is that so much to ask?
“I won't die so easily, Soshiro.” Your assurances had made him perk up. Head still leaning against yours where you could see the pretty hallmarks of his tired eyes.
“I may not be able to know..everything in that damn head of yours. But what I do know? Is that I have unwavering trust in you. And that's the only reason I made it out alive today.” Your voice had made him crack a smile. One that makes you raise a brow at him. Suddenly fixated on the way his demeanor had changed so easily when you had spoken your piece.
And Soshiro, ever the enigma that he was. Had stopped his reluctance around you. Finally getting a chance to relax as his hands slotted its way to the bounce of your cheek and jaw, which he had always found so endearing to touch and look at.
He couldn't help but run soothing circles on your flesh. A habit he might've picked up on when reading a few romances here and there.And it makes you wonder if he had always been this sweet. A layer unknown go you that you'd love to rediscover, if only he'd put down that smart mouth of his.
“I think that was ‘bout a week ago.” He corrected you. His face is as snarky as his comment. And that was enough to shake your head.
But of course, that had been too much to ask. Too far and few inbetween. You spoke too soon.
“Fine. A week ago.” You affirmed. Though this time you had rolled your eyes with a laugh of your own.
And the two of you had simply sat there. Soshiro rocking you back and forth as best he could without risking your injuries. Hands against the plush of your waistline, carefully making sure the stitches were still intact. But the warmth had remained.
This time he had been less distant. More calm and understanding like he had usually been. And that was enough for you. For now.
“Do you mean that?”
“Mean what?” You had blinked with a smile on your face. Sweet as it came, you had a viper that you knew how to use. And Soshiro wasn't ever one to stop confronting it. Even if he had to break out of his shell to ask the harder questions between you both.
“When you said you loved me.” He added.
And he wouldn't be able to miss that pretty smile forming on the corners of your lips. Leaning against him until the softness of your lips had grazed his chapped ones. Though you’d note, it was still gentle. Still his. And still yours to capture should you want it.
“Do I have to kiss you again and prove it?” You mutter out.
“Do you not want to right now?”
And without a doubt did you lean in. Capturing his lips with a crooked smile in between. Soft and sensual. And you had missed this. Missed him who had not gotten the chance to set things right by you.
How long had it been since you had taken the time to really kiss him? Without the rush of prying eyes, nor the responsibilities that came with their work. It was just a kiss, yet in this moment it felt like everything.
Slow and reassuring. Without the need of words to complicate things. It had conveyed everything he needed to know. And when you pulled back, Soshiro could see the pretty pearls of your teeth. Admiring the way your lips had bruised red from how eagerly he had captured your mouth. And he wouldn't dream of being anywhere else in the world right now. Not when you had looked so perfect. Hospital gown and all.
“Does that prove my point?”
He laughs. Something you had always thought to be pretty.
“Maybe.” The familiar trace of his hand had brushed past your hair. Straightening out the few loose strands that could obscure him from your face. And his smile, although back to the usual cat-like facade, had now softened up significantly upon your presence. And you had prided the way this man had looked at you like you had offered him the world.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at ya. I just-”
“Shh..I know.” Your hand had touched his lips. Admiring the way it too, had reddened from your previous kisses.
“I'm tougher than bronze, you know? I'm not so simple as to let a few words bend me sideways.”
“Okonogi tells me the same.”
“And right she was. You should learn a thing or two from her.” And a laugh bubbles between the two of you. He had to remind himself to save his apologies later for Okonogi. For despite her absence, even now she was playing cupid for them. The small voice in his head urging him to tell you how he truly felt.
And without warning. He managed to say it outloud.
“I love you.”
Those words had struck a melodic chord in you. Ones that made you look back at him in temporary stupor. Before finally turning giddy at the way he so gently said it. No remorse. No regret. A fact even she couldn't deface as mockery. When there'd normally be a trick of a joke involved.
And in your quiet smiles held a deep admiration for him. Ones that squeezed Soshiro's hand despite the difficulty of your injuries.
But that didn't matter. Injuries heal after all. And right now, you had been far too focused on him to mind the slowly subsiding pain on your body.
“What's this all of a sudden? You're not joking are you?” You ask cautiously. Though a smile still remained on your face. Far too elated at hearing those words. And from the look on his face, you could tell he had been serious in his admission.
“It's not sudden. I just–” Soshiro lets out a small chuckle. Not entirely sure why he feels so nervous in the wake of your question.
“I meant to say it that day. Before the Kaiju attacked. I wanted it to be perfect for ya and..” His voice stops when you lean in. Cuddling him down as best you could in the safety of the hospital's bedsheets. The understanding look in your eyes had all but told him that you knew. And it makes him think twice about having to explain things to you again. Not when you could now read him so well. Especially in the most important aspects of his life.
“I know. You don't need to tell me twice."
He heard you speak. Though the hint of playfulness in your voice hadn't subsided. A reminder that you had been slowly regaining your strength. And pretty soon, you'd be pulling him down by the collar just to kiss him breathless if you wanted to.
But for now, he was gonna have to take care of you. Take the lead and deal with your smart comments. And it makes him smile knowing he'd get to hear such witty banters from you again. More so now that you were awake.
“Really now? And I thought you'd be happy to have me say it outloud for ya.”
His chuckle had made his chest rumble. And you could feel the pleasant vibration as your head fell squarely on his chest. A roll in your eyes as you had hummed in reply.
“Well…I suppose it couldn't hurt for you to say it again.”
And he would. He'd do it as long as you'd allow him that privilege.
And this time, he too had read you like an open book. Somehow fitting perfectly in the way they understand the other without needing to speak. They needed to work on it. They needed each other more than ever before.
So it was lucky their bonds were more lasting than bronze. And fate had brought them together.
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wlntrsldler · 9 months ago
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how to disappear | luke castellan
warnings: betrayal, fluff, mean!luke for like five lines, extremely long, not canon, drug use and language, probably got some things wrong but it's for the plot; i sobbed writing this. (this might be my favorite piece i've ever written)
part 2: shades of cool
pairing: aphrodite!reader x luke
description: based on how to disappear by lana del rey
i. all of the guys tell me lies, but you don't. just crack another beer and pretend that you're still here.
"hey, angel," a voice startled you out of your thoughts. your feet were dangling over the pier as you stared out into the lake. you twisted your head to see luke approaching. a soft smile was on his face. "been looking for you everywhere."
"needed a breather," you said, scooting over so he could join you. "sometimes i forget how overwhelming being back here is."
he rolled his cargo pants up to his knees, letting the cool water touch his bare skin. "i get it. sometimes i wish i could take a break."
"you can, you know," you nudged his shoulder, "you're old enough to leave camp during the year. nobody would fault you for wanting to go away for a while."
he dug into his front pocket, pulling out a messily rolled joint and the pink lighter you gave him last summer. the heart you drew on the plastic with sharpie was starting to fade. he placed the joint between your eager lips and lit the end. he tried to ignore the sparks that shot up his arm when your fingertips brushed against his.
luke shrugged, "i know, but then who would take care of the kids? mr. d isn't really the model citizen."
you quirked an eyebrow, passing him the joint, "and you are?"
"better than mr. d," he let out a chuckle before taking a drag. luke closed his eyes as the smoke escaped his lips. he could taste your lipgloss. "maybe when you get your own place, i'll take some time off and visit you."
"i'm off to college soon," you said. "going to california. i got a scholarship."
"of course you did," he grinned. the weed didn't take effect yet. usually, when you smoked with luke, his brown eyes are hazed over by the effects, but while he was speaking, his eyes twinkled in pride. "didn't doubt it for a second."
"you'd leave camp and visit california for me?"
luke had a knowing smile on his face now, as if you were ridiculous for even asking that question. "'course. only problem would be that i'm broke as shit right now. being camp counselor doesn't really pay the big bucks, y'know."
you hummed. it was weird really, how camp was just a fraction of your life. your dad made sure that you could have a semi-normal life, or at least as normal as a half-blood's life could be, but not all demi-gods had the luxury, luke included. his dad made sure of it.
at first, luke despised you for it. why was it fair that you were your mom's favorite child while his dad barely cared enough to make sure he survived his failed quest? if aphrodite was his godly parent, he was sure that he wouldn't have this ugly scar on his face to remind him that he was nothing but a failure. she would stitch him up and make sure that he was okay.
this is not to say that luke liked any of the gods; he just preferred aphrodite above all of them. she gave you to the world, after all.
"what else is new?" he prodded, passing you the joint again after his third drag. "anything else exciting happen in your life since last summer?"
"nothing much," you coughed slightly. you didn't smoke unless you were at camp with luke. "just the usual senior year things, i guess. graduation, prom, you know."
"no, i don't know, actually," he laughed, "well, i know the idea of it. did you decorate your graduation cap? did your senior year live up to your expectations? did you have a date to prom?"
"yes, yes, and no." you pretended not to notice how luke's shoulders relaxed at your answer. "i did decorate my grad cap. my dad has it framed with my diploma. the design was my college's logo. i didn't have a date to prom because i didn't really like anyone at school. i would rather take a date i actually enjoyed the company of."
"that's fair," luke said. he took another hit from the joint. you watched the smoke evaporate into the air, the smell of weed surely sticking to your clothes. "tell me about your senior year."
"it was fun," you said, longing on your face. "it's weird to think that i'm kind of on my own now. after camp, i'll be shipped off across the country to take classes for some bullshit degree that i probably won't need because i won't make it long enough to see the workforce."
luke chuckled at that. it was morbid, sure, but he would be lying if he said that that reality wouldn't be a possibility. he didn't like to think about it much, the idea of you dying, but the life of a demi-god was unpredictable. he's surprised he even made it to eighteen.
you continued, "but i got to be a kid and i'm thankful for that. i just can't stop thinking about how this is my last summer here. i'm eighteen now. i've aged out."
"you can come back, you know," luke said. these summers with you were the only thing he looked forward to each year ever since you first arrived. "i'm still here."
"that's because if you step a toe out of this camp, they'll find you," you said, although you knew luke knew this already. he was powerful. he would attract monsters left and right and he'd be putting himself in jeopardy if he left. your suggestions for him to visit you were more wishful thinking than anything. in those moments, you let yourself pretend that you and luke were normal, that nobody would be trying to kill you if you tried to watch a movie at a theater or something.
"fair," he offered you the last hit, but you shook your head. you already felt your head spinning. "beth wants to go to college, too."
"does she?"
"yeah," he put out the joint on the wooden pier. neither of you spoke as the flame was extinguished with a sizzling sound. "told her to talk to you. you know more about it than i do."
"i'd love to talk to her. i think she'd do great in college."
"she would," he smiled, sadly. his eyebrows furrowed in thought. his mouth opened and closed a few times, like he was trying to find the right way to frame his words. you sat in silence patiently. he gulped, "i feel like everyone is moving on without me."
luke propped his elbows on his knees. he looked across the lake, watching the sunset turn into a pink horizon. he couldn't look at you while he spoke. "don't get me wrong, i'm so proud of you for leaving this place. and i'll be proud of annabeth when her time comes, but i think i just hate the fact that at the end of it all, i'll be alone. everyone in my life has a life outside of this, but i don't. this is it for me. i don't know what it is about this place, about this life, that keeps me stuck here, but i am."
you weren't stupid enough to correct him. you both knew the gods had a plan for luke. it was something bigger than the both of you, though neither of you truly knew what it was; but it was always this looming dark cloud above him, a second shoe waiting to drop. luke tried to ignore the feeling most days, but sometimes, he couldn't help but feel himself get pulled into the darkness; like in these moments, when reality hits him a little harder. you probably won't be back after this summer.
"well," you placed a hand over his own. he flipped his hand over to hold yours properly. he still wasn't looking at you. "let's just make the most out of this summer, yeah? think about everything else when we get there."
he squeezed your hand, "yeah."
ii. met me down at the training yard, cuts on his face cause he fought too hard.
"castellan."
luke winced, not because of the pain of the open cuts on his face, but because of the tone of your voice. that voice meant that he was in trouble.
he mustered up the courage to smile weakly at you, trying to ignore the droplets of blood that spilled from his open wound. "hey, angel."
"don't angel me," you hissed, marching to him. you grabbed his face gently, inspecting the damage. "what were you thinking?"
"i was thinking the kid was a bitch."
"castellan."
he cringed, "sorry."
"what happened?"
"i haven't been getting much sleep," luke whispered, "nightmares are back."
you sighed, picking up a cotton ball soaked in alcohol. the apollo kid who was tending to luke earlier was smart enough to leave the room when you walked in. you muttered half-hearted apologies as he hissed in pain. "i'm sorry to hear that, but that's not the answer i was looking for."
"he was just talking shit," luke said through gritted teeth. whatever the ares kid was saying must've been really bad because you could feel luke's anger rising again. you rubbed his back slowly until he calmed down. "don't wanna talk about it."
"okay," you resigned, finally wiping away the final remnants of blood off his face. you stared at him; even with an open lip, red bruises, and flecks of blood on his face, luke was still beautiful. he plopped his forehead against your stomach, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer.
this was common with luke. he acted all big and bad around all the other campers, but in your presence, he turned into this; always looking for comfort, always touching you somehow, like he was finally allowed to breathe. you cradled the back of his neck as he let out shallow breaths, leaving feather-light kisses on his crown when you thought he wouldn't notice them. he always felt them, but he never let you know that he did. he was afraid you'd stop doing it if you found out.
"how bad are they?"
"bad," he sighed, eyes closing. he tugged on you to bring you even closer, though you didn't know how that was possible at this point. "haven't slept in days."
"why didn't you come find me?"
"your sisters don't like it when i interrupt their beauty sleep."
"why didn't you tell me sooner? i could've stayed in the hermes cabin."
"it's gross in there," he laughed. "you deserve to sleep on your soft bed in a cabin that smells like fucking roses, not on my cardboard thin cot in a room that smells like sweaty socks."
you lifted his head up to look at you, "yeah, it's pretty bad in there."
luke snorted, finally letting you go, but a hand stayed connected to your hip. he played with the loose thread on the hem of your shirt. "i still won, by the way."
you cocked your head, "huh?"
"the fight," luke's cocky smirk was back on his face. "you should see the other kid. if i'd been well-rested, he wouldn't have been able to land a blow."
you smacked his shoulder, laughing as you fell onto the bed beside him, "shut up, castellan."
"there it is," he mumbled, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. he was so close to you.
"what?"
"castellan," he mimicked your voice, but there was no mockery there. he said it like he treasured it, like he was trying to memorize the way you spoke. "you're not mad at me anymore."
it was hard to stay mad at luke. the longest you'd gotten mad at him was when he didn't choose you for his quest. he stood outside the aphrodite cabin the entire day before he was set to leave, begging for you to let him explain. you were too stubborn, too hard-headed, to listen to him. when you were sure that he was gone, you finally left the aphrodite cabin to find a letter from him tucked away under the welcome mat.
you kept the letter, but you never opened it. it wasn't until he returned from his quest, on the brink of death, that you opened it. you were sitting beside his bed, eyebags darker than ever that even your mother couldn't salvage you. your eyes were stained red from crying so much.
in his letter, he explained how he didn't want to put you in danger, how he would never forgive himself if something bad happened to you because of him. your insecurities just got the better of you. you always feared that people saw you as shallow, like you didn't actually have the skills to fend for yourself. many people had misconceptions about the aphrodite kids, but not luke. luke knew that you were incredible. you just didn't resort to violence as quickly as he did.
you felt stupid then, even now, you regret how you treated him before his quest. you hated yourself for how you acted. he never gave you a reason to doubt him, to not trust him; you should've known that he had his reasons. you hated yourself for even questioning him for a second.
luke pulled you into his chest, allowing you to cuddle into his neck. the beads of his camp necklace rested beside your temple. you reached over to play with them, letting the beads thump against his collarbone when you let go. you felt luke twirling strands of your hair around his finger, gently undoing the knots that formed at the ends of your hair because of his antics. you lay there in silence, just enjoying the presence of one another. you felt luke's breathing even out, a sign that he was drifting off.
luke's words from the pier bounced in your head then. did he think that you'd forget about him after you left camp? as if you'd forget about this, about him. a life without luke castellan became unimaginable when you met him when you were fifteen. there was no version of your life that didn't have luke in it.
it was foolish to think that way, you knew that. it was stupid to let someone have a hold on you like this, demi-god or not. even your friends from home warned you about being so attached to luke, though in the version of events you told them, the stakes were much lower. to them, he was just a boy you see at summer camp a few months out of the year; he was just another hometown boy that they urged you to forget when you moved away to college so you could live your life unrestricted.
but luke wasn't just that to you and you knew you weren't just that to him either. there was something between the two of you that was hard to explain, but didn't need an explanation at the same time. even your mom noticed it. she let you know once to tell luke to stop praying to her to give you a sign whenever he missed you.
"i can't keep making flowers bloom whenever he misses you," she wrote, "it wouldn't make much sense for flowers to bloom in the winter, my child, or for flowers to bloom every second of the day."
sometimes, though, on particularly hard days when you'd miss luke, your mom made exceptions. you'd find bunches of hibiscus growing within the cracks of the sidewalk of new york city on your way home from school.
you knew luke was thinking about you then. just the thought of it made your day better.
iii. i know he's in over his head, but i love that man, like nobody can. he moves mountains and pounds them to ground again.
luke didn't know what you'd say if you found out. well, he did know, but he deluded himself into thinking that you'd listen to his reasons, that you'd actually understand why he did what he had to do. maybe you'd even join him.
percy had left camp with annabeth and grover for his quest yesterday. the air at camp felt different since percy was revealed to be a forbidden child. luke, as much as he tried to keep his resentment for the gods at bay because percy was hard to dislike, the poor kid just wanted to save his mom, felt his blood boil when poseidon claimed percy.
he hated the gods, this wasn't new, but luke struggled to understand how he was supposed to feel. he saw so much of himself in percy. he thought of his mother; her hugs that he hadn't felt since he was nine, the taste of her burnt cookies that he hated at the time, but now he just wished he could taste the burnt crisps on his tongue one last time. he even missed her frantic mumbling in the middle of the night.
luke saw a version of himself in percy, the version that had a chance at happiness. luke hated it.
it was too late, anyway. the plan was already in motion. his allegiance to kronos was set. kronos visited him in his dreams often. luke stopped calling them nightmares because nightmares are only nightmares if they happen once in a while. what made them bad dreams was when they were compared to good ones. he didn't have those anymore.
luke hadn't slept much since he stole the bolt. it was easier to think about you, about the happy times, when he was awake. he smoked more now. it helped sometimes. he would pretend your lipgloss was still on the tip of the joint and that you were beside him on the pier, trying to get away from all the noise of camp.
as he walked toward the hermes cabin, smiling cordially at the younger campers who beamed at him, he saw the corner of a pink bag against his bed. his face dropped. luke stopped in his tracks, clutching the beads of his necklace.
you weren't facing the door. your back was turned while you folded the sheets on his bed. he saw you spray perfume on his blankets. he could almost smell the sweet fragrance from where he stood. it took all his might not to run to you and hold you in his arms. it's been months since he last saw you, since last summer. luke's hands fell to his sides before he twisted his body to turn the other way.
he went to the one place that gave him comfort. with his cargo pants rolled up to his knees, he watched the sun fade into the dark sky. there was no pretty sunset tonight. luke didn't think too much of omens, but he figured that was a bad sign. and when your soft footsteps thumped against the boards of the pier, he was certain that it was.
"you damn near running away from me when you saw me was not the reaction i was hoping for."
luke closed his eyes and took a deep breath. out of habit, he moved a bit to let you take your usual spot beside him. when he opened his eyes, he was met with the face he'd thought about for months. a kind smile adorned your lips. you looked different. your skin was a deeper shade, no doubt due to the california sun; your lips were pink and torn apart, like you'd been chewing on them; but your smile was the same.
"what are you doing here?"
"sorry i was late," you said, sheepishly. you played with the small braid in your hair, "i had to move out of my dorm so i had to take a later flight."
"i thought you weren't coming back," luke replied.
"heard there's a war coming," your voice sounded small. luke knew why. he'd listened to you talk about the dreams you had for yourself for hours over the past summers. the idea of an impending war meant that those dreams would take the backseat and you'd have to fight before any of them could come true. "is it true?"
"percy, a forbidden kid, poseidon's, is trying to make sure it doesn't happen."
"do you trust him?"
luke felt his heart crumble in his chest. how cruel is he to keep you in the dark like this? when the only thing you needed to feel okay was to hear that he trusted the kid meant to stop the war?
luke's voice was hoarse, "yeah, i do. beth does too."
"okay," you placed a hand on his thigh. luke stiffened at your touch. you pulled away, embarrassed. "sorry."
"don't apologize," he placed his hand next to yours. he could feel the warmth of your skin. "i've just been on edge."
"it's just me, luke."
he didn't know how to tell you that that's exactly why he was on edge. it was you. the girl he'd been in love with since he was fifteen. the girl he told everything to. the girl who knew him so well that if you were to touch him for longer than a second, you'd know everything.
this summer, for the first time since he met you, he was glad you didn't show up to camp. he knew that the minute you were in front of him, he'd tell you everything and there was a chance you'd want nothing to do with him after it. that was something luke couldn't handle. but now you're here, looking at him like this like his actions just hurt you.
"'m sorry, angel."
"you're acting different, luke."
"'m sorry."
"i don't need an apology," you said. "i want to know why."
luke rubbed his face with his hands, "i don't know, okay?"
"you're lying to me," you were frowning now. luke was angry. he wasn't angry at you, he was angry at the whole situation, but it didn't matter. he was taking it out on you.
"gods, angel, can you just-- not right now," he groaned. you got a good look at him. his eyes were tired, shoulders slumped like he'd been carrying a weight on his shoulders with no reprieve. "i don't really feel like talking."
"you don't have to be mean about it."
he didn't feel like himself anymore. he would never talk to you like this, but there was something in him that made him snap. luke scoffed, "i'm not being mean, you're just being so pushy right now."
you blinked, pulling your hand away from his. shivers ran down your spine, "luke, what the fuck?"
"what?" he stood up. you followed suit. under the moonlight, you saw how dull his brown eyes were. they no longer carried the same glow when he looked at you. luke's eyebrows were furrowed, eyes narrowed, "i just can't handle this right now, okay? can you just drop it?"
"i'm just trying to talk to you!" you raised your voice, disbelief on your features. you walked towards him. holding his face in your hands. he was crying. you wiped away his tears. "i just missed you, okay? i just wanna talk to you because i haven't gotten to in months and i'm miserable."
he let out a shaky breath, your touch grounding him. he felt himself coming back to him. he nuzzled his cheek in your palm, kissing the flesh there as he mumbled apologies into the night.
"i missed you so much," a sob escaped your lips. luke didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, continuing his train of apologies into your ear. you continued, "i-i thought that you'd be happy to see me because i've been counting down the days until i saw you again and i just thought that even though the world was falling apart, we'd be the same. it's always been us, you know?"
"i know."
"and then you avoid me and run away from me and i just needed to see you, luke. i needed to talk to you."
"i missed you, too," he confessed. "so much, you have no idea."
"you have a funny way of showing it," you joked through your tears.
luke laughed. it shocked him. it was like he had forgotten how to. he hiccuped, removing one hand from around you to rub the tears away from his eyes, "come on."
selfishly, he ignored the pit in his stomach. he allowed himself just one more day to have you like this. as he lay on his bed, he held you close to him. he was overwhelmed with how much you filled his senses; the smell of your perfume, the feeling of your lips ghosting on his chest as you told him nonsense stories from college, the sound of your quiet giggles when he made some stupid joke, the look on your face in the dark, staring at him.
an unfamiliar feeling took over his body, rest, he realized it was, a while into lying in the darkness with you.
"i love you, you know that, right?"
luke didn't trust his voice anymore. he pulled you closer, hoping that that was enough for now.
iv. think about those years as i whisper in your ear. i'm always going to be right here.
"i love you."
you turned your head at the sound of luke's voice. camp was in disarray. percy was badly hurt and annabeth was frantic, sobbing about how luke was behind it all. you ran away after hearing it.
you didn't want to believe it, but it was annabeth. she wouldn't say that about luke unless it was true. you knew it killed her just the same to accept it.
"what are you doing here, castellan?"
it felt like a dagger was plunged into luke's heart. he'd heard his name leave your lips in different ways over the years; jokingly, angrily, but never like this. disappointment.
"i couldn't leave without telling you," luke licked his lips, keeping his distance. he was pressing his shirt on the spot percy broke skin. he looked down at his feet, "couldn't leave without letting you know that i love you."
"why did you do it?"
"i don't know."
"okay," you walked towards him. "when did you get so comfortable with lying to me?"
"angel," he sounded broken. "please, don't do this."
"you were wrong, by the way," you said. "you're not stuck here anymore, but i don't think the place you'll end up in is any better than this."
luke was silent.
"go, luke," you whispered. "don't make it any worse than it already is."
he nodded. this was it. you watched as he disappeared into the dark.
you were too preoccupied with your thoughts to notice it then; your mind was plagued with worry, but in the gaps of the wooden pier, a single hibiscus flower bloomed under your feet.
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Note
This request may be a little cliché but can i ask for a Percy one shot where,since he’s new at the camp,he gets hurt during sword practice and apollo daughter!reader is the one that takes care of him?Thank you😙
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YOU'RE AN IDIOT JACKSON *ੈ✩‧₊˚
paring: percy jackson x apollo!fem!reader
warnings: swearing like twice
a/n: asdkjsgad i had so much fun writing this!! sorry it took me so long to get around to and its so short ive been in such a writers block i swear. i was writing this a like 12am freezing cold and tired but babes here it is!! (i might write something like the later one when im not as sleep deprived and cold lol)
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when the new kid at camp was rushed into the infirmary with a shirt wrapped around his arm you instantly groaned and shot luke a threatening look.
"i'm going to kill you if you hurt another newbie sword fighting."
luke's already present grin grew even bigger. "its not as bad as it looks i promise." he helped the boy onto the table and sat across from him while you worked.
"what's your name?" you ask, already knowing it but trying to be polite - he's the boy who killed the minotaur - of course you knew his name.
"the names luke."
"I swear to god-" you spin around and shove luke out the infirmary. "don't come back for a whole week luke, break your record."
after sending you a wink and devilish grin he leaves to head back to sparring and you're left with a very confused and very pretty boy. what? who said that?
you spin back around and smile at percy. "so what was your name again? i think mr d was saying something about a peter?" you tease.
"its uh, percy."
"nice to meet you percy, i'm y/n," you say extending your hand to shake but thinking better of it when he goes to move his injured one.
as you set to work healing him his eyes fill with wonder. "who is your parent?"
"hades," you joke, but when percy's eyes go wide you quickly amend. "kidding, its apollo. y'know hence the singing and glowing shit."
"language!" one of your siblings yells from behind you.
"sorry!" you call back winking at percy. he cracks a grin and you both dissolve into giggles.
from then it doesn't take long for you to heal percy, luke was right in the end it was worse than it looked. "ok you're all done, i'd avoid sword sparring with luke for a while though."
percy goes to leave but then turns back to you. "um, okay so i don't know where i'm going."
laughing you lead him out og the infirmary. "come on i'll show you around."
you show percy around camp - for what you're assuming is the second time - annd gossip and update him on all the need to knows about camp.
"and yeah basically that is why my sister no longer wear her favourite shirt," you smile. occasionally sneaking peeks at percy. he does the same but you don't see it.
as you walk him back to the hermes cabin he asks, "who do you think my godly parent is?"
that stumps you for a moment, "i dunno, maybe you're an apollo like me," you shrug as you arrived at hermes and you spot luke's shit-eating grin.
"i don't wanna be an apollo though," percy says.
"what you hate me that much? geez, i didn't realise i was that bad," you joke.
"no, cause if you're my sister, it'd be weird if i like you."
and with that he smiles and walks inside leaving you with a open mouth and internal squealing.
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xoxochb · 3 months ago
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⋆·˚ ༘ * hey stephen!!
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warnings: none pairing: luke castellan x daughter of apollo a/n: the ending is a little rushed but I was on a time limit here 😣
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It was an undeniable fact that Luke Castellan was the heartthrob of camp. Girls (and boys too) from various cabins take their chances on the Hermes cabin counselor. Yet to your surprise they got turned down everytime, even the most beautiful from cabin ten. You wondered many times why Luke never went out with anyone but it never bothered you. You were hopeful that the spark you saw when he was around you meant he liked you but your chances were slim, you must be delusional to think such a thing
Although out of all the girls who tried tossing rocks at his windows, or grasping his attention in any way you were the one waiting even when it was cold. And you were the one he always let in. Mostly this makes you think that you might never be alone because you know Luke will never turn down an opportunity to be alone with you- or even with people around- it doesn’t matter because he’ll go out of his way (occasionally discarding camp duties) to get to spend sometimes even a minute with you
Tonight however Luke wasn’t in sight. The nightly campfires were one of your favorite actives in camp- possibly getting to take the number one spot- and today you would be singing a song you had spent the past weeks creating. Usually you would let your siblings take over the musical part of the evening but on this night you decided to bring out your guitar to play your new melody. You wrote this specific song- and you were too embarrassed to tell anyone- for Luke, so when you’re in this current predicament it worried you that he wouldn’t be here to listen to it.
What worried you the most was that Luke never missed campfires. Occasionally with you, yes, but never alone which is why you suspect he’s run off with a girl perhaps. You knew those other girls were beautiful- and your looks couldn’t compare- but would they write a song for him? Probably not.
You sigh and turn to Will Solace on your left. “Have you seen Luke?”
Will ponders for a moment before answering, “He stopped by our cabin right after you left, said he was looking for you”
“And where did he go after?”
Will shrugs. “Away”
You scoff and slap his head. “Don’t be stupid”
He attempts to swat your hand away but you stand up before he can do anything. “I’m going to look for him, I’ll be back”
ੈ✩‧₊˚
You feel as though you’ve walked for ages. But maybe because you don’t walk much makes a few steps seem like a lot. The first place you checked was cabin seven, just making sure Luke wasn’t still lingering awaiting your arrival. Next you checked cabin eleven, nothing there either. You looked at the dining pavilion, the lake, the campfire- again- to check he was indeed not there, the forest, which admitted you did not search thoroughly because it was horrifying at night
You’re stuck standing in the absolute middle of nowhere, how you got there was a mystery. You sit on the grass in defeat and as you ponder you feel tiny drops of water falling onto your head, thanks a lot Zeus!
Now you have to find your way back out of this stupid forest in the rain. You stand up before it starts pouring, and admitted you may have shed some tears. You turn left, and the back right, absolutely no clue where you came from. You’re lucky for your godly roots because you were given the ability to radiate a bright light from your very own body, thanks dad!
You can’t help but wish more for Luke at this very moment. Whenever it rained he would cover you up to assure you wouldn’t get wet, even if it meant that he would be soaked. You turn off your light for a moment, a second to recharge your drained energy. You allow yourself to take a deep breath before taking on step, bumping into a figure before you
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was my fault” the figure says. And you know that voice, you might even go as far as to say you know it better than anyone. In the moonlight you see the face you’ve searched for
“Where the hell have you been, Luke? I’ve been looking for you all over!”
“I’ve been looking for you all over!” Luke explains
“What?” You say in disbelief “Will said you came looking for me, I was at the campfire by then, why weren’t you there?”
“Well he didn’t tell me that! All he told me was that you left and usually you never go to the fire that early so I thought you came to my cabin to look for me, but I went there you I didn’t see you so I went all the way to the fire and you weren’t here either so I asked Will and he said you just left to look for me!”
You run a hand through your hair. “Oh my gods you’re telling me we’ve both been looking all over like crazy people for each other?”
“I guess so”
you sigh. “Well, why were you looking for me?”
“I wanted to walk with you to the campfire”
“But we always just meet there?”
Luke’s cheeks turn pink. “I wanted to talk to you”
Oh no. Was he going to confess his undying love for you? Or are you just a silly hopeless romantic who feeds into every delusion?
“About what?”
Luke’s nervous demeanor worries you. Was he doing something bad? Did he do something bad? Is he suicidal? Is he in love? Is he getting kicked out of camp? Oh no, oh no! You take one of his hands in yours to calm both you and Luke at once
“It’s nothing, forget it”
You squint your eyes at him. “You’re lying”
“I am not”
“When you said you wanted to talk to me your body language was a clear sign that you knew just what you wanted to say. I know a lie when I see one”
“It’s raining, this isn’t the best setting”
“Well I like the rain, so speak”
“I saw the paper, the one with your song. Will told me you wrote it about me”
that little bitch
“I mean, yes, I did. But it was never clear who it was written about”
“I read it myself”
Your cheeks mirror Luke’s. “So what if I wrote it about you? You’re my best friend, you know this”
“Do you write love songs about all your best friends?”
“It was not a love song!”
“I believe the terms ‘angel’ ‘love’ ‘kiss’ and ‘perfect’ were all used”
You drop Luke’s hand. “So I exaggerated things a little bit”
Luke takes the paper from his pocket, the rain washing it away almost instantly but he manages to point out every part of the song referring to being in love
“Why are you obsessed with this?”
“Nobody’s ever written a song for me before-” he sighs “let alone the girl I’m in love with”
You’re unsure how to react to such a display of romantic attraction. Do you run away? Do you tell him you like him back? Do you stay silent? Do you ignore him? Is this the part where you kiss?
You do know, however that Luke looks almost ethereal in the rain, an odd observation but you’d admit it’s very true. The silence takes over the moment, almost awkward because you haven’t replied yet- but in your defense what are you supposed to reply? You’ve only seen love confessions in movies and books and they are much better and easier than the real thing you can now confirm
“What about the other girls?” You decide on asking
“There are no ‘other girls’ there’s only been you”
You have no clue what you’re doing. You don’t know if this is the right approach, but you can’t find it in yourself to care because before you know it your arms are wrapped around Luke’s neck, his finding their way around your waist- and equally both your lips connecting. And even in the cold rain you can’t help but feel warm
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tired-biscuit · 1 year ago
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hi just thinking abt a uhhhhhhhhhh werewolf who's already filled u full but keeps rocking his knot inside u until it swells up all over again bc ur godly writing just ??? 🫣👉👈
imagine trying to push him off of you because you’re so overwhelmed.
one of your hands is on his jaw; fingertips accidentally bumping against drool-slicked canines, the other is on his chest, the hair there so coarse and thick, hiding a wild-beating heart.
your hips wiggle as you attempt to cause some distance between your body and his intimidatingly bigger one just so that you’d be able to gather your breath and a shred of your sanity at least, but you just can’t — no matter what.
he’s got you pinned underneath him, after all; pressing you so far into the mattress that the bed frame is protesting. the wood of the bed frame repeatedly snaps and cracks but he keeps on pushing, keeps on pushing inside you. to make matters even worse, his knot is swollen again and is snuggled tightly against that tender spot that makes you want to close your legs and weep.
but despite the fact that you can’t currently close your legs from the way he’s claimed his rightful place between them, you still cry out at the fullness; at the way his inhuman tongue laps at the single tear that slides from the corner of your eye, then; gliding right down the curve of your cheek. he catches it before it reaches the edge of your jaw. sniffs, warm puffs of air tickling your skin, to see if there are any more to follow before he settles on painting a single line of warm saliva up your neck, right across your pulse point and up the side of your face.
you twitch at the bestial portrayal of affection he gives you now, writhing atop the sweat-soaked bed sheet but stopping immediately when the flash of heat sears you at the place where you connect to him, or rather he to you.
he’s literally stuck inside you for a second time in a row, causing you to feel like your pussy is about to burst. a small hiss leaves your lips in response to the sensation, however you’re relieved to find out that it’s fast to mellow out when you don’t move around as much.
still, it shouldn’t even be there in the first place, now should it? he promised you that the entire thing wouldn’t take long…
and yet here you are.
“i can’t believe you,” you chide, chest heaving because of the anger that bubbles within. “we’re seriously doing this again?”
at your nagging, your werewolf boyfriend stares down at you with what you could best describe as an unimpressed look his eyes. the slits that have replaced his pupils dilate sideways, eating up most of the yellow iris before relenting and thinning back to their original size again.
“keep still and it’ll be okay,” he grumbles, agitation lacing his already gruff, animalistic voice, causing it to sound even more dangerous than it already does. he doesn’t want to come across as mean or inconsiderate, especially when you’re so vulnerable and split open for him like this, but he knows your constant squirming may cause pain for the both of you.
“you’re gonna kill me like this, you know,” you mumble, stubbornly turning your head to the side when he leans in to kiss you. “gonna lose your mate just because you’re one greedy motherf—f-fuck!”
he huffs a laugh that sounds like thunder at your stutter, at the way you pretend to refuse him even if he can feel your pussy clamping down on him tighter, tighter, tighter when the knot finally does its job and stuffs you full completely, locking itself inside you yet again.
your inner thighs are still tacky. his cum and your arousal that have dribbled out of you after the first time are still drying, and here he is: already planning on spilling another load inside you. already thinking about plugging you and keeping you submissive until the seed sticks, just like he did earlier.
it’s his favourite part, especially because the face you make whenever the warmth of his release pools inside your belly is absolutely priceless.
however, nothing, absolutely nothing beats the face you pull when he sneers, gets real close to your ear and whispers,
“the only thing i’m gonna do is make sure you’re pregnant with my pups, sweetheart.”
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philokaliist · 10 months ago
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'Pretty Girl'
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Clarisse La Rue x DaughterOfAphrodite!Reader hc's💗
A/N:Felt like doing another one of these so here we are
So I feel like Clarisse La Rue with a daughter of Aphrodite as her girlfriend is a total power couple. Like, picture this – they totally clash with their godly parentage, but opposites attract,right?
I feel like Clarisse would call you 'princess' or 'pretty girl/thing,' just to tease you a bit, you know? And she deff calls you out for your lovey-dovey stuff, but secretly she LOVES it when you surprise her with flowers or write cheesy notes,even if she may not show it - but she does love it.
So I feel like she would totally be the protective one in the relationship - for obvious reasons - like no one messes with her girl. If anyone dares to flirt with you, Clarisse would be ready to throw a punch, no doubt.
I feel like Clarisse would have this tough exterior, but deep down, she's a total softie for you. Like,you'd have these secret moments where you just chill and talk about your day, and it's the cutest thing ever. She may not admit it, but she loves those moments.
She deff calls you 'angel,babe or princess' because, well, she's a daughter of Ares, and you're her partner in crime.
And when you fight side by side in Capture the Flag, it's like a power duo – Clarisse and her girl taking down anyone in their way - well,mostly Clarisse,but still.
I feel like she would lowkey enjoy doing little romantic gestures, but she acts all cool about it. Like, she might get you a small heart-shaped necklace, and when you thank her, she'd be all like "Yeah, whatever, it's just a dumb gift." but she'd secretly bite back a smile.
Clarisse would totally be the one to initiate sparring sessions just for the heck of it. Like, "Let's see if your lovey charms can protect you in a real fight, Princess." But deep down, she knows you can hold your own, and she respects that.
I feel like she'd have this signature battle cry, and whenever you hear it, you know Clarisse is coming to kick some ass.
She deff has a soft spot for your handmade gifts, like if you craft her a bracelet or something. Clarisse may act all tough, but she treasures those things like they're made of gold.
So I feel like Clarisse would totally get jealous if someone else challenges her in the arena. Like, she's the top dog, and no one should even think about taking her spot. But she'd secretly love the fact that you're cheering her on.
I feel like she'd have a nickname for you.And when she uses it, you know she's in a good mood or trying to lighten the mood after a tough training session.
She deff appreciates when you notice the small details about her, like the scar on her arm or the way she ties her hair back.It's like you see past the tough exterior,and Clarisse finds that pretty damn special.
Honestly, Clarisse would totally have a soft spot for animals, especially if they're cute or fluffy. Imagine her trying to act all tough while secretly petting a camp kitten - it's a sight to behold - and she'd love it - especially if you owned a pet(even better if it was fluffy.)
I feel like she'd be the one to surprise you with impromptu dates, like a late-night stroll around camp or a picnic under the stars.Clarisse may not say it out loud, but those moments mean a lot to her.
She deff loves challenging you to physical competitions, whether it's a race or an arm-wrestling match. It's like her way of bonding, and she secretly enjoys the friendly competition between you two.
I also feel like Clarisse would totally have this protective vibe when it comes to sharing stories about her past. She may act all tough, but she trusts you enough to open up about her struggles, and that's a big deal.
I feel like she'd be a bit possessive, like marking her territory, especially in public. If someone even looks at you the wrong way, Clarisse would be quick to put them in their place. It's kinda hot in a protective, possessive way, you know?
She deff calls you "Gorgeous" in the heat of the moment, especially when you're alone and no one is around to witness her softer side.
Clarisse would totally get jealous when other campers compliment you,but she'd never admit it. Instead, she'd just glare at anyone who dares flirt.
She deff calls you out on spending too much time in the mirror, but deep down, she appreciates how you always look stunning – even in the middle of a war.
A/N:That's all for now.Made this while in class because I got bored of it
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katerinaaqu · 23 days ago
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Why did Helen choose to torment the Greek Warriors inside the Trojan Horse? (An Odyssey Analysis)
Okay so here is a conundrum that seems to be quite interesting in homeric poems. One of them seems to be Helen's behavior before the sacking of Troy. Menelaus informs us and Telemachus on the events of the night before taking Troy and speaks on the moment where Helen knocks on the Trojan Horse and calls upon the Greek warriors inside imitating the voices of their wives.
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Three times you circled the hollow ambush and out of the best of the Danaans you called the names and all the Argives heard the voices of their spouses. Nevertheless I and the son of Tydeus and the godly Odysseus heard you as you called out and while we two were eager to rush out and act to our sudden urge, Odysseus though held us back and restrained us despite our eagerness. Then all the other sons of Achaeans endured apart from Anticlus wanted to respond to your call but Odysseus placed his hand upon his mouth non-stop and strongly and thus saving all the Achaeans until Athena Pallas led you away
(Translation by me)
So basically here we see a very cruel act right? Helen knows the Argives were away from home and their wives way too long, over a decade so why would she play such a cruel game to them and call upon them by using the voices of their wives? It seems unnecessarily cruel at some point especially since she did express the need to go back to her husband already a year prior during the events of Iliad.
So here are a couple of explanations for it.
So for many I would epxect this would be something one might consider inconsistency at writing which leads many people to turn to the "different writer" trope. Quite honestly I can see why and as a hypothesis is really valid or maybe if one takes the hypothesis that Odyssey was witten way after the Iliad that the author himself changed his mind on some stuff or reconsidered his sources etc.
However let's hypothesize for one second that this is a logical continuation of the story and character development (yeah I am not convinced on the different writer theory, fight me! XD) and let's just think for a second the context of the scene based on what we know from the Iliad and the Epic Cycle in general.
We know that Helen lived in Troy a decade (yes for the "20 years theory" I have answered an ask here). She knew these people for a long time. We also know from the Iliad as she stood next to Priam, giving him information about the Greek leaders and kings and we know that she was not judged by him or any other of the Trojans. If anything she was blaming herself quite a lot for it. Even in the funeral of Hector she expresses her love for him (not romantic love guys) and her respect for him. She had no real hate for the Trojans even if she already had a change of heart or Aphrodite's spell on her had weakened. For the reasons why she stayed I also answered another ask right here but apart from that reason we know she wanted to go home so why did she do that to the Greeks? Well in the same scene Menelaus seems to be excusing his wife and he presents this very interesting explanation as to why she did it:
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And then you came there: called by some god, no doubt, who wished to extend the glory of the Trojans
(Translation by me)
Menelaus seems to be excusing his wife once more and presents the hypothesis that Helen was inspired by some god or goddess (δαίμων) to go and disturb the Greeks inside the horse. Helen doesn't deny it but doesn;t confirm it either. In fact Telemachus speaks soon after and Helen orders the slaves to prepare stuff. The conversation on this subject seems to end there. So the one explanation could be that indeed Menelaus is correct and that Helen was once more either coersed or blackmailed by a god, potentially Aphrodite again, even if not mentioned, and went to the Greeks and tried to lure them out for the sakes of that god that wished better for Troy. It stands as an explanation as well.
However let's make things more spicy and let's assume that Helen was not influenced by divine intervention by the gods and instead it was her own free will to do what she did. If yes then why? So here's a hypothesis. Before in her narration Helen talks about how she met Odysseus and recognized him in his disguise. She also mentions how Odysseus informs her on the plan to take Troy:
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And then he entrusted me everything he had in mind for the Achaeans
(translation by me)
How much he told her is not clear. Did he already have in mind to make the horse so he tells her that? Maybe he warns her on the one day that the Achaeans shall enter the city without speaking on precice details? Either way Helen would know Odysseus was up for some ploy and she knew she had to act fast. Menelaus also mentions how Deiphobos was with her at that time (how Menelaus knew? Well probably Helen told him). So immediately if Helen had a reason to do what she did, we have two reasons;
She wanted to persuade Deiphobos on her loyalty to Troy. Arguably when Odysseus escaped, as Helen said, he killed many Trojans on his way out. Most likely her loyalty must have been questioned at that tensed time thus being accompanied by her new husband all the time. By doing this, ellegedly tormenting the Greeks, was showing to Deiphobos her loyalty to Troy (manipulating him into believing that she was on their side) plus showing him like "See? Nothing here. No danger whatsoever". She probably knew already Odysseus would be inside and he wouldn't fall for her trick and she trusted him and her husband to hold the rest of the Achaeans inside the horse so they wouldn't cry out. So not only did she show to Deiphobos that she was on Trojan side but also manipulated him into believing indeed there was no danger.
Two, this part is the best, in my opinion, she was signaling to the GREEKS inside the horse. She called them all by name by immitating their wives. More or less tells to them that she KNOWS and that she knows EXACTLY who they are and who their families are, and that she could have betrayed them at any moment if she wanted to but she chose not to because she was on their side. Like that she would have more hopes not to be killed by vengeful Greeks during the siege of Troy or her daughter by Paris, Helen, and ensure her and her daughter's safety. Also signaling her change of heart in person to them.
Conclusions:
Like I said before I do not believe Odyssey was written by a different author altogether and Odyssey itself gives us some very good explanations on Helen's behavior. I am actually willing to side with my second hypothesis. Perhaps Menelaus was talking literally when mentioning a god but I tend to believe he was more like metaphorical. In an essence "what's gotten into you?" manner. However I tend to believe that regardless of whether there was or wasn't a godly intervention in Helen's behavior, Helen is extremely intelligent and she knows that after the fuss Odysseus caused (literally a Greek spy in Troy, possibly two if we count Diomedes too) that got in, stole the Palladium of Athena and killed people on their way out might as well throw suspicion on her and she needed to make sure she would continue have the love of Priam, which was literally her shield of protection at that moment. Two she knew that her husband was coming for her and that he was potentially furious and if it wasn't him, some other of the Greeks would be or they would get battle-drunk with their success. She wasn't going to rely only on Odysseus's silver tongue that he persuaded the Greeks on her change of heart but she wanted to make sure that they knew on her talents and power and the way that she could literally give them away at any moment and that she chooses not to because she is Greek like them and because she had a change of heart!
I hope you find this analysis interesting! Let me know in the comments below! I'd love to hear your thoughts! ^_^
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srvbryn · 10 months ago
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Clarisse La Rue. Flower Field
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Clarisse La Rue X f!reader (no mention of godly parent)
Summary: going to a field of flowers to take photos but end up laying in the field with Clarisse<33
Warning: NONE, this one is short 😔
A/n: I hope people realize that I also write 4 other characters THAT ISN'T LUKE CASTELLAN 😭😭 also maybe I should start writing for Umbrella Academy 🤭🤭 BEN <333
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The usual date is enjoyable, but today is special for you and Clarisse, <3 it is the anniversary of the day you and she first met.
So, why not spend the day with your beloved girlfriend in the flower field?
You and Clarisse find a comfortable spot to lie down among the colourful blooms. The sun warms your skin, and laughter fills the air.
"These flowers are pretty, but you're prettier." Clarisse spoke up, breaking the silence.
You blush, playfully nudging her. "Smooth, sweetness. I thought you were here for the flowers."
Shs grins, reaching for your hand. "Nah, I'm here for you. And maybe a few good photos."
The field of flowers surrounds you, a kaleidoscope of colours under the sun's gentle caress.
Warmth, the feeling of warmth, and spending time together is definitely what you like, especially since being a demigod is very dangerous :((
Most demigods didn't make it past the age of 16, so you appreciate the opportunity to spend time with your girlfriend.
Clarisse vibrant rare personality complements the surroundings, suggests an ideal location to capture the memory of the day.
As you set up the camera, Clarisse can't resist teasing, "Hey, you better make sure my good side is the focus."
You smile and say, "Don't worry, I'll make you look like the daughter of Aphrodite." The shutter clicks, freezing a moment that reflects the warmth you share.
Soon, the petals and the soft hum of bees have you both lying down, with the grass beneath providing a natural bed. Clarisse looks at you, her eyes sparkling.
"Who knew a field of flowers could be so relaxing? Beats any fancy mattress - I could fall asleep any minute now."
You join in, "Nature's way of inviting us to take a break, I guess."
The conversation flows, blending with the rustling leaves and the distant sounds of birds.
"This feels like one of those cheesy romance scenes from a novel." Clarisse scoffs.
You smirk, "Are you complaining?"
She nudges you, her voice softening, "No, just observing. It's nice."
It's like a scene straight from a fairytale. It was lovely to see your girlfriend's eyes reflect the sun as she sat right in front of you.
"You are staring," she said. You did not respond to her right away - instead, you kissed her cheeks and grinned.
"Of course, I'm staring, pretty girl."
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lorkai · 4 months ago
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.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ A/N: I was browsing through the female characters tags and I just realized that they don't have a lot of fics. Well, not as much as the male charas have. So I thought "hey maybe I can write a couple of fics" and here we are. I love Furina with all my heart, so ofc she has to be the first one I'm writing for.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Fluff with a hint of angst, sagau, gn!reader, spoiler about Fontaine archon quest
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"Are you comfortable?" You ask her, voice soft like velvet.
Furina nod, resting her head on your chest, the warmth of your body almost too comforting to bear, yours arms encircling her waist as your fingers send hot shivers down her spine. She dare to look on the eyes, though it's a quick glance before she looks to somewhere else.
“You’re so warm,” she murmurs, a barely noticeable hint of sadness hanging on her tone before it disappears, replaced by one of her theatrical smile. You chuckle softly, wrapping your arms tighter around her.
“You deserve every bit of comfort, my dear. You’ve been working so hard.”
A pang of guilt stabs at her heart. She bites her lip, her thoughts swirling in a tempest of self-doubt and secrets. How can she accept these tender words when she isn’t even the true Archon of Fontaine? Her position is built on deception, a mantle she wears but doesn’t own. If you are God themselves, how can you not know? Or you do know and want her to say it?
If it's you, she's glad to rip the etched mask that's been sewed on her own face for so long.
“Do I?” she whispers, her voice barely audible. You pull back slightly, cupping her face gently.
“Of course, you do,” you reply, kissing her forehead. She closes her eyes, the kiss burning against her skin. She doesn’t deserve this love, this unwavering trust. If only you knew the truth...
“I’m not...” she begins, her voice cracking. Your brow furrows in concern.
“Not what, Furina?”
She takes a deep breath, struggling to find the words. How can she break your heart with her confession? But she can’t continue living this lie, not when it weighs so heavily on her soul.
“I’m not the real Archon,” She blurts out, tears welling in her eyes as she refuse to meet your eyes. She's waiting for the worse, waiting for you to pus her away and curse her - as she had seen happening in those nightmares that plague her mind.
“I’m a fraud, a lier. Fontaine deserves better. You deserve better.”
Your eyes widen in surprise, but you don’t pull away. Instead, you gently wipe away her tears with your thumb and offer her a gentle smile.
“Furina, look at me,” You say softly. “I don’t care about titles or power. I care about you, the person you are. You’ve brought so much joy and strength to this nation, and to me. And I knew, I knew everything.”
Her heart aches with a mix of relief and disbelief. How can you still hold her so dearly, despite her confession?
“But... I’m not worthy,” Furina insists, her voice trembling, she looking so surprised right now, eyes as open as possible. “I’ve deceived everyone. How can you love someone like me?”
You lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. “Because I see the real you, beyond the titles and the façade. I see your kindness, your courage, and your love for Fontaine. And that’s more than enough.”
Her tears flow freely now, a mix of sorrow and gratitude. She clings to you, burying her face in your shoulder.
“Thank you,” She whispers, her voice muffled. She hugs you closer, tighter than she ever did, not caring about your godly status right now or decorum. “Thank you for seeing me and not hating me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
You hold her close, your embrace a shield against her doubts. In your arms, Furina finds a glimmer of hope, a belief that perhaps, she is worthy of love after all.
That perhaps everything she suffered through those 500 haven't been for nothing. Maybe she can still play her part till Focalors help everyone.
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nyxyxx · 1 year ago
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Godly Desires - Part 3
The Diluc chapter woohoo (he may be a little ooc but thats cuz im very inexperienced at writing him) The yandere stuff will gradually get more intense as the story goes on but for now its super super mild. I. II. III. IV.
Warnings: This story contains yandere content and religious themes
-3-
"A friendly drink"
-
You had just arrived with Diluc at Dawn Winery, and you couldn't help but notice the glances you got from all of the workers as you walked past them. Something about it seemed odd, but you didn't have enough time to figure out what was wrong. You trailed after Diluc as he led you into his office, and shut the door behind him.
"Please, sit," he said, watching you awkwardly stand by the chairs. You nodded and hesitantly sat down on the cushioned seat, and you couldn't even believe how comfy the seat was. Well, you had just been spending all of your time in the wild outdoors so having a nice chair to sit in was very unusual.
Diluc walked over to his chair, on the other side of the desk, and sat down. He pulled a bottle out from underneath his desk. "It's grape juice, is that alright?" He asked, suddenly nervous. He didn't want to give you a bad first impression, although it was already a little messy because of what happened down by the lake.
"Oh sure. I don't mind." You answered. The corners of his lips rose ever so slightly, and he opened the bottle of grape juice. You were engrossed in the way he carefully held the wine glass, gentle but firm, and the charming way he poured the juice into the glass. Something about it was surreal. Elegant even. He had an air of nobility around him life that.
However on his part, what he noticed was completely different. He felt that his hands were too shaky. That he was taking too long to pour the glass, and the silence that hung in the air was becoming thicker. He could barely breathe at the prospect that you were even here, in his home, sharing a drink with him. It was unbelievable, really.
Once he was finished, he handed the glass over to you, and you took it from his hand, your fingertips gently brushing against his. The tips of his ears turned a very light pink, but he was lucky that you hadn't been paying attention to that.
He hated that he felt so nervous. He should be elegant and charming, and leave a very good impression on you, so that maybe, just maybe you might see him favorably. He despised how weak he felt, but it was only natural for him to be nervous in the presence of a being like you.
"Mm...thank you" You said, as you took a sip of the grape juice. It was sweet, but not too sweet, and had a little bit of sourness to it. It was refreshing and cold, but made you feel warm. Out in the wild, you had occasionally found fruits and just drank the juice from them, but this was a little different.
"Please, there is no need to thank me, it is my honor," He said, taking a sip from his glass. You thought he was just being a gentleman, but in truth he was all euphoric on the inside.
In the silence, your mind began to wander. You started to doubt more and more if this was actually a dream or not. Of course it had to be, because this place wasn't real. Diluc wasn't real. That should be the case, but yet, you felt like you've been here for such a long time already. When were you going to wake up from this dream?
You thought it strange how real everything feels, from the cold water, to the rich taste of the grape juice, to the hunger and thirst you had experienced, it was all so vivid. Could this really be a dream? You've heard that it is possible for people to experience very real sensations in their dreams, but you never thought it would be as convincing as this.
Well anyway, there was no point in worrying about the details. You had no idea how long this dream was going to last, so in the meantime you might as well have fun with it. After all, there was no harm in having fun in a dream right?
The glass in your hands was now empty, the juice all gone. "Thank you for the drink, but I should probably get going now," you said, rising from your seat. You already missed the softness of the chair. You looked at Diluc, who sat their blankly staring at his empty glass. Shrugging, you began to walk towards the door, only to stop upon hearing his voice.
"You should stay the night here. It is already getting dark outside. It will be dangerous." He said, quickly rising from his chair. He walked over to you carefully, and smiled. He was just trying to be considerate.
"I mean, is that really okay? I don't mean to impose..." You trailed off, while that was true, you also did feel a little bit awkward about the situation.
"I assure you, it is not a big deal. I'll have a guest room arranged for you." He said, without waiting for your answer. "Then you can leave first thing in the morning." but please allow me just a bit more time to be near you, is what he didn't say out loud. You simply sighed and agreed. It would in fact be easier just to stay here until morning. Then you could find your way to Mondstadt without it being the middle of the night.
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