#GOD. GOD. EVERY SINGLE TIME IT HAPPENS I GO WEAK AT THE KNEES.

[usertoxicyaoi]

"Senpai ... what's that supposed to mean?"

HIDAMARI GA KIKOERU (2024). EPISODE SEVEN.

[wroteclassicaly]

Eddie Munson loves the way that you pick at the chipping polish on your nails until it’s dangling from the cuticle. Enjoys how you only shave the bottom half of your legs but let the top grow out. Oh god, and when you chew and bite your straw to an unusable puncture, leaving lipgloss all over. The times at lunch where you’ll find him to ask, “Can I play with your hair?” You aren’t in Hellfire Club, but the group has taken to adopting you as a seat mate.

Well… you had simply settled down there before Eddie’s group approached. He’d leaned in to inform you that this was a private table. To which, you shrugged and asked who usually sat where, following suit with finding your own space - which just happened to be right beside the dungeon master himself. You’d put on your headphones, took out your spiral, and began writing, everyone free to converse as you let yourself get lost amongst new company.

Soon… things changed. It went from, “What’s she doing here?” To “What are you listening to today?”

Eddie often lets his thoughts scatter from campaigns conversations, the band’s music — all because he ends up watching you get lost to yours. Ink pen tapping, eyes fluttered closed. Every single bit of cafeteria commotion ceases to exist, footsteps echoing, Eddie’s heart thrumming in his ears (fucking tinnitus).

Vibrating your way into everyone’s affections, Eddie remains awe struck & jaw slacked that you can’t see how easy it is to connect with you, to feel like everything is okay when you’re around, how there’s not one single person on planet earth and beyond that is like you. You wear what you want, model a personal style that belongs to you, have prepared more comebacks than he’s seen in his twenty years of life (that would shrivel any man’s ballsack and make all the other girls envious). It’s how you tried to make red, white, and black knit scarves to match their shirts for Christmas, and it ended with balls of fabric, your bloody thumbs, and Eddie helping you fix each one with a gentle hand (because everyone has to have something, Eddie). How can he forget that you’re not a baker, but your boxed brownies are Eddie’s favorite, especially when you wrap them in Christmas paper, serving hot chocolate to go along, making your way around the table to plop marshmallows in each styrofoam cup, that way no one is forgotten.

“Something for you and the group to have during tonight’s campaign. Oh! And my mom actually taught me how to make the hot chocolate in a crockpot, so…”

Eddie Munson has tried convincing himself that you’re just another sheep to protect. His stomach isn’t fluttering like a hoard of bats are shredding his insides, his knees aren’t growing weak everytime you smile, his breath isn’t getting caught on the wall of his chest on days that your full figure wears a skirt or a dress to accentuate features you love to possess, but can’t see their beauty with your eyes. He’s seen you in the morning, in the sun, in the rain, in the dark, and now, as it’s snowing outside the walls of this school. You’ll get up to retrieve something in the lunch line and Eddie will peer into your notebook, ringed finger scanning the lined page of your latest short story.

A guy and a girl, one small town, looking at the simplicity of various Christmas lights. It’s traditional, differing from what you usually let him read. You’re a sheep, lost from your flock in the manger. An angel so soft that feathers have nothing on you. A fucking Christmas star, shining so bright it burns the entire town to the ground.

By the time you’re carrying a bowl of cheese fries back to the table with two forks, Eddie has already picked you up in his van, a thermos full of his mom’s famous hot cocoa recipe. Eddie loves the way that you - oh… fuck… he loves you.

Merry Christmas…

[min-imum]

hello, can i ask to write mingyu!fireman? This came to my imagination and how his muscular body would look beautiful with the uniform.

I appreciate it if you do, and have a great day 🫂💕

i’ve been dying to write this but every time i try start my motivation fizzles out. anyway…

nsfw, mdni

content warnings: gn!reader, the smallest possible mention of blood, shower sex?, oral sex (m. receiving), i think that’s it possibly hopefully

you grip your phone tightly, panic setting in. mingyu hasn’t replied to any of your messages or calls, not since he left in the middle of the night to tend to an emergency — it’s the morning now, it’s been hours, and you’re not seeing a single blue tick.

“come on, pick up,” you mutter, hitting the call button again. it rings for a minute, and then you hear the robotic female voice — the number you’re trying to contact is not responding, try again later — and worry bubbles in your chest.

it’s completely unlike mingyu to be ignoring your calls. what if something happened to him? what if—

you’re choking back a sob when your doorknob jiggles, and you spin around to see your boyfriend standing in the doorway.

he’s covered in soot and blood.

“oh god,” you gasp, running to him. “are you okay? what— whose blood is this?”

he sets his helmet down and gives you a tired smile. “nah. not mine. i’m okay. sorry for worrying you, baby.”

he leans down to give you a sweet kiss, and you throw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “i’m just glad you’re okay.”

when you pull away, he grimaces down at your shirt, now also stained with grime. “let’s go take a shower, baby. you’re all dirty now.”

“together?” you ask, shy.

he grins.

—

in the bathroom, he strips you down first, tossing your dirtied clothes into a separate pile next to your laundry basket. you watch, perched on the counter butt-naked as your firefighter boyfriend removes his gear. he shrugs off his heavy jacket to reveal big arms, and then he pulls his t-shirt over his head to reveal bigger pecs and toned abs. he catches you appreciating him and smirks playfully, and you blush, but your eyes stay firmly on him and his body.

the way he unbuckles his belt makes you squeeze your thighs together, and the thick thighs that fill your vision when he slides his pants down his legs make you feel weak in the knees.

you finally look away, face flaming, when he hooks his thumbs into his briefs with a wink in your direction. you hear him chuckle and your ears warm up, too.

soon, your boyfriend’s handsome face appears in front of you. ���it’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” he teases, and you whine, pressing your face into his neck.

“but still,” you mumble. he laughs and wraps his arms around you.

“adorable,” he murmurs, fond. he lifts you up, much too effortlessly for you and your weak heart, and carries you into the shower. all you can do is keep your face hidden in his neck as your cheeks redden even more. he sets you down in the shower and adjusts the water temperature.

“wanna wash your hair for you, gyu,” you tell him.

he smiles, adoration clear in his eyes. “thank you, baby.”

you lather up his shampoo in your hands, and once you hold out foamy, bubbled-up hands, he bends down so you can reach his head. you massage the lather into his scalp gently and you make sure to get to all of his hair, knowing he always comes home sweaty and dirty after a call like this.

after a minute, you help him rinse it off. he sputters when he accidentally inhales while water is running down his face and you giggle brightly.

“don’t laugh at me,” your boyfriend sulks. you grin at him and brush his wet bangs away from his eyes. your big, tall, beefy boyfriend frowns down at you, adorable little pout on his lips.

you pat his chest twice. “turn around. i’ll wash your back.”

“you’re spoiling me today,” he murmurs. “all of a sudden?”

“you worried me. i called you but you didn’t pick up,” you explain. “so now i need to make sure you’re okay.”

“oh,” he says. you can’t see his face while he’s turned around, but he sounds sheepish enough for you to be able to imagine the expression he’s making right now. “‘m sorry. dropped my phone by accident. not sure if it’s broken or dead, but that’s probably why i didn’t answer your calls.”

oh.

of course.

you laugh loudly, suddenly realising that you were so worried about him when in actual fact, your clumsy boyfriend had just dropped his phone — again. “i should’ve known.”

you can hear the pout in his voice. “it’s not on purpose.”

you finish soaping up his back, running your palms over the expanse of golden skin. wordlessly, he turns to face you. you start washing his front, too, taking your time as you run your hands over his shoulders, his chest, his biceps, his abs.

and, in predictable mingyu fashion, his cock is rock hard, long and girthy and drooling at the tip. you drop to your knees and place your hands on his thighs, and his breath hitches.

“baby?”

you look up at him through your lashes, then sink your mouth down over his cock as far as you can go in one stroke.

“f-fuck!”

his abs clench wildly, and his knees buckle for a second. his fingers tangle into your wet hair. he curses loudly as you swallow around him, determined to take in more of him. the sight of you, pretty lips stretched around his cock, eyes staring up at him seductively, makes him clench his muscles to stop himself from bucking into your mouth.

using your hold on his thighs for leverage, you sink your mouth down onto his cock as far as you can go and nearly choke yourself — and the spasm of your throat is absolute heaven for mingyu. he whines and his grip on your hair tightens. you tongue at his cock and hollow your cheeks and bob your head on his cock, making sure to swallow around him whenever he’s deep in your throat.

it doesn’t take long. “fuck, baby, ‘m gonna come,” he gasps. “where—”

you slam down onto mingyu’s cock, choking yourself again, and he comes with a yelp. his cum floods into your mouth and throat, and you swallow most of it.

letting the remaining bit of his come pool on your tongue, you open your mouth wide for him to see, and then you swallow that too. he stares with wide eyes, and his cock twitches valiantly.

he drops to his knees too, settling himself next to you, and he pulls you into his lap and holds you tightly. he kisses you frantically and moans when he tastes himself in your mouth. “fuck, baby,” he mutters when you pull away. “that might have been the best head of my life. your knees must hurt. c’mon, let’s wash up quickly so i can take you to bed.”

as soon as his soapy hands find their way to your body, you both know you’re not making it to bed anytime soon.

[the-sinister-story-teller]

BR0KEN COLORS & YBG HEADCANONS (P1)

~~~~~~~~ A/N: This post is being made because whilst I was looking through Br0ken colors headcanons for Rasmus for...No particular reason (I SIMP YES IT IS TRUE ToT). Anyways, this is going to be a mash up of all sorts of characters from both Your Boyfriend and Br0ken Colors!

Mentions: both games have possessive stalkers so...bare in mind this will have HEAVY gore, mentions of sexual interactions, stalking, characters kinks, obsessiveness, possessiveness, stockholm syndrome if you SQUINT hard enough, GN!Reader, and murder.

! ALL ART USED FOR CHARACTERS IS NOT MINE AND BELONGS TO THE ARTIST/ORIGINAL CREATOR !

~~~~~~~

Damon:

Oh my fucking god- How do I start? Uh- Well, he is...OUTRAGEOUSLY smitten for you.

I mean, this man has left roses at your doorstep every single day, morning and night. When you leave for work and when you come back, there's always, ALWAYS, a rose.

The only reason he KNOWS where you live is due to DG. He begged DG to give your address to him so he could...leave gifts.

He has a whole wall dedicated to photos of you, items of yours, your FAVORITE items, and even a bit of clothing.

When he interacted with you, he was bright red. Red as can be from just SEEING you in his flower shop.

He made it his POINT to get to know you. Well...pretend to get to know you.

Assuming you're COMPLETELY oblivious to him stalking you, ect, he takes you out on 'dates' on the regular.

DG helps keep track of all the people you interact with.

This helps Damon know who he needs to take out. That one guy from the convenience store? He went missing a LONG time ago.

Once he finally gets to dates you, oh lord...

He has done ANYTHING for you. Top, Bottom, BOTH! Anything.

However he only did it on ONE condition.

You let him carve his name on your body. Could be ANYWHERE.

He loves seeing the crimson run down your body, it's a gorgeous color on you.

BITE. HIM. OMFG IT WILL MAKE THIS MAN WEAK IN THE KNEES!! Mark him UP with bites. All over him, he loves to show them off.

Dominate him. He will call you mommy, daddy, baby, ANYTHING.

Whimpers so FUCKING much.

He gives or receives, either way, HAIR PULLING. If you're into it, he'll yank your hair back, if not though he'll be soft with his touch. Pull his hair as HARD as you want, he'll go fucking feral.

"Mmh...You taste like heaven...Pull my hair harder lovie, I can take it...I love it when you push me around~ "

Rasmus:

LAWD...You either got bullied by him, OR he met you at a party. Either way, he was down. Down BAD.

Once dating, he seeks CONSTANT affection when alone.

PDA is ok, but keep it to a minimal of cheek kisses and hand holding, that's about it.

But the moment you two are behind closed doors, he's ALL over you.

Whether that be him just venting about his step-mother and the pressure his father is (albeit not TRYING to) putting on him.

Run your fingers through his hair and he'll melt like putty in your arms.

He's a thigh guy, NOBODY IS CHANGING MY MIND ON THIS I WILL THROW HANDS OVER THIS! (jk obviously)

He fucking loves piercings, on you OR him. He adores them, he thinks they're hot and a sign of 'independence'.

He will take you to lingerie stores and help pick out lingerie with you, with ZERO shame.

He isn't obsessive like Damon or DG, but he is protective. It can be overbearing sometimes, ESPECIALLY when you drive.

Due to what happened with his mother, he doesn't like when you drive by yourself. He wouldn't live with himself knowing you could get hurt.

He isn't one to be topped, but ask him to top you and oh lord you'll get that and SO much more.

He'd pile drive into you in front of a mirror, just to humiliate and fluster you.

You've met his dad but he has yet to introduce you to his step-mother...

You better bet your happy ass he's using his claws on you. He definitely uses his iron claws when he's feeling extremely antsy.

Gentle sex is a thing with him, he loves both rough and gentle sex equally.

He'll let you BE on top and ride him, but don't expect him to be submissive.

Demisexual! (according to his character page!)

"Taking me so fucking well...Wonder how long it'll take before you pass out gorgeous...You think you can stay awake a bit longer~? "

Peter:

It's Peter.

I dunno what you want from me-

He's as psychotic as they get girlies, boys, all the in between and above.

HOOOOOWEVER...

Jk there's no HOWEVER.

He has every article of clothing. T-shirt, pants, sweatpants, shorts, undergarments, fucking EVERYTHING. At least, one of each.

Shockingly, it's all your favorites (it's not very shocking is it?).

He does it because it's the clothing you wear the most, and though it's OBVIOUS and could get him CAUGHT, but lord...He loves your smell. Addicted to it, even.

Smother him. Like it or not, you're his. It sucks for a bit, but you should learn to get used to him.

He purrs, constantly around you.

He also cuddles you everyday when you wake up and when you fall asleep.

Expect breakfast in bed and dinner! You never have to lift a finger around the house, he does it all for you.

Sex with Peter is...strange.

On one hand, he can be loving, romantic, and gentle, prioritizing your pleasure.

On the other hand, if he's feeling particularly jealous, he'll pile drive into you till the both of you are tearing up from overstimulation.

He's carved your name onto his chest, and carved his name into your chest, or stomach.

He's down to try anything with you. ANYTHING.

He's more than happy to get topped by you, he loves the thought of you taking control over him.

Don't call him Peter in bed, use pet names like 'baby' or 'honey', or something along the lines of that. With him hating his name, it doesn't end well.

Granted he kinda likes hearing his name from you, but not during sex. He likes pet names better, kinky or not.

"C'mon baby one more? Let me tear one more orgasm from that pretty body from yours...I love the way you squeal and squirm~ "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: I'm definitely making a part 2. List some characters you wanna see, and I'll see if I can do 'em! (LEEVI IS GONNA BE IN THE NEXT ON IT'S DEFINITE!!)

[writingmyimagination]

Never let go ~

Massimo x reader (may get a bit steamy.)

Tw: choking, cussing, smut

“One year…. One year have I wasted on a man who will never change.” I write in my journal as I look up and out the window of the plane as Massimo huffs annoyed leaning against his chair mad I’ve refused to sit near him. You see unlike Laura I choose to be with him thinking he’d learn after she ran off with his gardener. At first it was bliss and we would shop, have dinners, and travel. 

But as fate unfolded with the months he could never let a part of her go fully. Times I’ve spread myself thin to please this God like man, the change in clothes from my usual classy elegance to a more sexy look for him, the unusual taste in art that I know he had commissioned for her. If it were up to me I’d burn them all in our courtyard one by one and light a cigarette with the flames. I hear him shift angrily either at the fact his wife refuses to look at him or even breathe in his direction or at the sexual tension between him and our flight attendant knowing I would turn the whole plane around if he even dares to act on it.

“If he leaves again I’ll disappear I swear it to this book and to myself, I deserve the world at my feet. Not this sour bitter treatment as if I was Laura. I have done nothing to cater for him and yet I find my cup empty while his is full, full of life, fun, and excitement. While I am expected to wait for him, submis—“ I feel a large hand wrap around my throat, his hot breath tickling my ear as his hand gives a warning squeeze. “Mi amore, are you fucking kidding me? Disappear?” He lets out a stiff chuckle as I feel his other hand swiftly grab my journal and throw it against the wall of the plane where he was once sat. “As if you could stay hidden long enough for that to happen, I’d search under every single rock and cave to find you.” I tighten my lips together as I look off to the side seeing the flight attendant staring at us, want and desire pooling desperately in her eyes. “(Y,N.) are you really going to be this difficult, acting as if I was some random man you could throw a fit with and I’d just let you be.” His free hand playing with the hem of your white mini dress going up to the middle of your chest where we can see the golden v accentuating your cleavage. “Massimo, please.” I croak out, half in annoyance and in desire because I know what lies in the next few moments to come. He lets my neck go and I take a deep breath, he moves to the front where I can see him towering over me and does something shocking.

Massimo has knelt in front of me with soft gentle hands he moves them up my calves to my knees and spreads them apart. “W-what are you—“ he gives me a look. “For once shut the fuck up.” He reaches under my dress and rips my lace underwear off me. My hands go to rest on his bicep as he pulls my hips closer to the edge of the seat, his lips tickle my inner thighs with kisses leading up to a long teasing swipe of my glistening folds. A deep primal groan emerges from his chest as he hungrily laps at the pooling wetness between my legs. Soft moans leave me as I shiver under the unfamiliar sensation of his tongue making its presence known. Massimo wasn’t one for giving but always receiving. This is a whole different feeling entirely.

My eyes roll back as he continues determined to make me gush sweet juices all over his face. His sweet prize for having to put up with my mood swings as he calls them. He knows Laura is gone, but she gave him a feeling he couldn’t describe but you, you were his weakness. The one thing that could bring him to his knees and possibly lose his mind, hence why you were his wife he lost you once over his own mistakes but that wasn’t happening again.

The pooling desire swirling in the deep of your tummy was nearing the edge, asking to be released as your legs tighten against his strong hands. “M-Massimo keep going please, like that.” He smiles against your folds as he continues, his tongue swirls in circles around your clit and he moves a hand further up, once at his destination he inserts his two middle fingers slowly, angling them upward just to brush along the wall. He can feel you tighten around his fingers and at this point he’s ready to hoist you up and impale you with his long, girthy shaft. But he knows you need this, you need to feel cared for before he can have his own way with you. He feels your legs tremble as you struggle to breathe and he takes everything you give him, lapping each drop as if he hadn’t drink anything all day not wanting to waste a single drop, the overstimulation of his tongue pressing your bundle of nerves until he finally stops and look up. “Beautiful.” He whispers before placing a soft kiss on your inner thigh and getting up, he sits next to you and pulls you close to his side. “Stop acting like how you have been this whole trip, (Y,N).” He kisses the top of your head as you regain consciousness from cloud nine. “Massimo everything I wrote is true it’s how I feel…” I look up at him. “You aren’t fully here.” “Bullshit. Bella I am here I’m right fucking here, I got on my knees for you do you understand how much you mean to me? Outside of this.” He motions around with his hand. “I’d kill for you. I should’ve never left you for her. She was the devil in disguise, a fucking demon.” He grabs your jaw, “but you.. you are everything pure, sweet, and perfect. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did to you. I may not be the perfect man or husband but for you I am willing to try.” You both lean in and share a sweet kiss before hearing a ding. “Please buckle your seatbelt the captain with start our descend soon.”

[silentmoths]

Some HSR Thirsts

Because I've been fucking star-railed this last week and also I promised @dustofthedailylife that I would write a svarog thirst if she finally pulled welt. so since this exists, you can guess what happened!

Svarog/Yaoshi/Kafka x Reader

NSFW, nothing explicit perse but all very heavily implied, Robot/monsterfucking, does fucking a god cound as monsterfucking?, Svarog is a giant vibrator, Yaoshi and their many hands, also Yaoshi having an aphrodesiac venom in their scorpion tail, maybe a little implied dubcon in kafkas case? I dont...think it is but its there as a warning in case.

Ok but Svarog, who definitely knows what sex is, of course he does, he has an entire database to access, and lets face it, this man has probably already accessed it when looking up ‘how to parent’ information because at one point or another he’s going to have to give clara ‘the talk’

(no, we wont talk about how his version of the talk is going to be the most embarrassingly clinical talk ever to exist. rest in peace clara.)

But he does not, for the love of anything, understand why you want to have sex…with him.

Nonetheless, he does not stop your hands roaming his chest plates, he doesn’t really stop you from doing… anything really, because… whatever this is  makes you happy, and that’s all he wants. 

He’s confused when you ask him to touch you, but he does it anyway, all while sifting through his databanks to figure out both why and where. 

This is also the day you discover that Svarog has an… interesting vibration function in his hands that he claims was once for easing stiff muscles of his old human commanders before he was abandoned.

Yeah it’ll sure ease you alright.

Admittedly…he does like watching you squirm…it does… something to his servos.

Though, he thinks he may have created a monster, because now every day, without fail…you’re asking him for a hand. 

Perhaps one day, when he has done enough research…he might just reveal that one…extra modification that had been made to him before everything went to shit.

One day he will allow you to delve below his trousers and maybe one day he will use that…modification, to finally give you what you want, since it seems you’re unwilling to find another mortal to fornicate with.

Besides

perhaps …clara could do with a mother figure around.

----------

Some say the Aeon Yaoshi, of the Abundance, is a cruel and evil creature.

This does not stop you from seeking Their favour.

However when they finally do appear before you, you get so much more.

Six hands, long and delicate, trailing your skin as they pull you close, unearthly voice whispering in your ear, telling you they’ve heard every prayer, every plead and call for them; how they’ve been watching you all this time, and now they have come to bestow the blessing you’ve been seeking.

But only if you can endure one last trial.

In some depictions you had found, Yaoshi is endowed with a scorpion's tail, so it isn’t a shock when the appendage curls around your body, the tip pricking into your thigh. You feel the warmth of the poison spread through your body and you moan for it. Yaoshi only hums their praise 

Their venom makes you feel warm and fuzzy, it makes their touch intense and vivid, most of all…

it makes you want to give yourself over entirely

You feel hands touch places that have never been touched by another, you feel their teeth and their tongue. You hear their praises.

And then you wake, in your bed. 

At first, you think it was a dream, but then you sit up.

You were naked, your muscles ached, but it was a sweet ache, soft around the edges, and there on your thigh, where they had stung you with their venom…

the symbol of abundance

----------

Soft hands, and an even softer voice, leave you weak in the knees.

“Ready to talk yet?” Kafka muses quietly as she presses a single finger to your collarbone, and you immediately fall back against the table, your arms still bound behind your back. 

You should be struggling. You should be fighting back.

But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t incredibly turned on by the stellaron hunter who had kidnapped you, and was now apparently intent on interrogating you.

“You’ll….have to try harder than that.” you rasp, trying to sound intimidating. 

By the way Kafka’s smile widens ever so slightly, it’s failed completely, and you’re once again left reeling as she approaches, leaning over you like a cat who’s just caught their mouse.

“Will I?” her voice is so soft, and yet so very dangerous as her ruby eyes narrow in on your face “My…are we a little smitten? Your face is all red.” 

Goddamn it.

“I’d never-”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic.” She interjects as she perches on the edge of the table beside where you lay, she shoots you a look…an expression you can’t quite discern for a moment, until you realise her own eyes are raking down your body.

hungrily.

You watch her bring her hand to her mouth, teeth closing around the finger of her glove before pulling the offending article off; your heart is jackrabbiting in your chest.

“I think…” she hums as she leans back over you, magenta hair falling between you both like a waterfall. This was dangerous, so very dangerous.

But the moment her hand presses against your belly, and slowly begins its slow gaze downward, pressing shamelessly beneath the waistband of your bottoms? You’re a goner.

“I think I have other ways to make you sing that we’ll both enjoy…don't you think?”

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @rjssierjrie @crystalflygeo @angel-of-requiem @asoulsreverie @zomzomb1e Want to be added to the list? shoot me an ask~

I will be starting a Starrail specific taglist shortly so if you want in on that let me know!

[inmyminditsreal]

I Hate You A Little Less Between My Legs

Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: Spencer and Reader hate each other. But sometimes hatred turns into something...more.

Warnings: Sex, p in v, oral (fem receiving), hate fuck, agression.

This is my first time writing smut!!!! lmk what yall thinkkk

It begins

Me and Spencer are rivals. We hate each other's guts. I hate him because ever since I joined the BAU he’s just been rude. God, so rude. All the shitty looks and comments. You’d think he was nice because of his warm demeanor. I joined a couple years back, and as soon as we were introduced, he looked at me. Not in a really mean way, but almost as if he wants to eat me, something dark. 

It’s been a long day at the office, everyone is gathered at the bar, Spencer has been his normal annoying self all night. I’m leaving the bar after everyone has left, except Spencer of course.

“Y’know today would’ve been so much better if you had just stopped talking. Seriously.” Spencer says as he walks backwards in front of me.  I stop, look at him, and of course he’s smirking. I’m finally done. I want nothing more than to rip that gross smirk off his face. So I do that, not in the only way I know how, but in the only way he wouldn't expect. I roughly grab him by the face and dig my lips into his, pushing him against the wall. 

“Yeah?” I say while tugging on his hair. He reacts quickly by groaning into my lips, like it's all he’d ever wanted. No. Needed. The barrier of tension around us has finally been broken, like a needle to a balloon. Now that I've popped it, I know this is it. I have to prove I can't be broken, won’t be broken.

“You really think you’re in control? God I know how badly you must’ve wanted this.” He says in a breathless whisper as he slides his hands under my thighs and lifts me into his arms. I feel my stomach flutter and my knees start to feel weak. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Something is uneasy about his eyes. The way they look at me feels hungry, starving. 

“Oh really? I’ve wanted this? Look at yourself, you’re barely holding yourself together.” I say, obviously lying. I lean into his growing bulge and he swallows with steady eyes on my every move. The reins of control are passed back and forth, no matter how desperately  I want him to have them.  I’m so afraid he knows that.  He puts one hand under my ass and the other around my waist and he starts to walk to his car. He plops me down and slams the door. He drives urgently to his place, arriving suddenly. I try to get out of the car and walk but he suddenly swings me over his shoulder, so easily. My legs start to tense. Why is this turning me on so much? 

“Put me down. What are you doing Spencer?”

“Carrying you to my bed. What else did you expect?”

The sudden calm on his face is scary but in a way that makes me want even more, an adrenaline of intrigue. To his apartment, to his room, eventually thrown on to his bed in a frenzy. 

“This is what you wanted? Huh? Tell me princess.”

This wasn’t what I wanted when I kissed him, but I want it now, need it now.

“Why don't you find out?” I tease while beginning to undress my shirt, taking a childish amount of time to undo each button. I notice his eyes getting darker with every single one. About halfway done, in a  swift motion, it's ripped off and discarded like nothing. With a small gasp from my mouth, I don’t know what to say.

“Really, you’re going to try and tease me? After you’ve already started this.” He rips off his shirt, then his pants, and everything. Looking at his body, I feel so needy. My once potent hatred, now waning. walking towards me , he spreads my legs, rips off my skirt, then gently clasps the edges of my panties, sliding them slowly over my skin, throwing them to the floor. I unclip my bra, nipples hard and aching. I swear I hear him whisper under his breath something along the lines of, “beautiful.” Pushing me further onto the bed, me now on my back. He begins to kiss and nip at the skin on my bare stomach. His fingers trail along my folds and he begins to dip his fingers in and out. Fuck. 

“All wet for me.” He says with that stupid smirk.

“Oh shut-up.” I groan.

He uses his free hand to grasp my breast, teasing soft circles around my nipples. I whimper blissfully. He kisses down my neck, then my stomach, sucking on my hips, then leaving peppered kisses down my pussy. I shutter. 

He slides on a condom just before he lines himself up with my entrance, gently slapping his cock over it.  

 With a cocky smile and a powerful push, he’s inside me, and he doesn’t stop. I moan and wrap my arms around his neck. He pounds into me with controlling movements, angry ones. With my fierce scratches carving into his back. He seems unfazed, maybe even happy. 

“I’ve always wanted to see you like this, to rip that witty demeanor you carry right off. And I have, you’re a mess.”

“You think you’re making me a mess? Trust me this isn’t what a mess looks like.” 

“Oh we’ll see about that.”

His anger turns me on, it sets me on fire. His anger gets worse and his thrusts only get harder, more urgent. I wrap my legs around his waist and he starts to go slower but still so fucking hard. 

“Fuck.” I cry. He smiles in response. His fingers wrap around my clit, urging me gently while rubbing sly circles. 

“Oh god I’m close” 

I groan. “Harder.”

He doesn’t disappoint and thrusts into me with even more force, leaning in to cup my breasts. Rubbing my nipples with his fingers gently, while pressing harder and pinching suddenly. I scream a moan in reaction. He leans down to suck my nipples, biting and nipping at them. I’ve never been touched this way, and he’s coming to know that. His groans and breathy whispers are so much more beautiful than I’d ever expected them to be.

“I’m gonna! Im-” I yelp as he pulls out just in time for me to not finish. He hasn’t finished either, but he wants to watch me squirm, and fuck, I do. Wriggling under him in incoherent whines. The line between pleasure and pain seems so distant it hurts.

“Please.” I pant in a small voice. His smile makes me boil but my desire is so much hotter. 

“Tell me you’re mine and I’ll let you cum.”

“What?” 

“You heard me.”

He slowly creeps his head down between my thighs, licking one soft stroke down the middle of my pussy, making me arch needlessly. His hands are big and rough lacing my outer thighs with silky strokes and gentle rubs. He lifts my legs onto his shoulders, moving even closer to the place I want him most. My hand hesitantly but eagerly grips onto his hair and pulls.

“Come on, you know you want to.” He whispers while looking up into my eyes, the darkness in them looking so much hotter than it used to. My brain fighting between giving in and taking the reins once more, finally being in control. Just as I’m about to resist him, he says,

“Alright then princess, you’re stronger than I thought.” and he begins to swirl soft circles around my clit, making me whine desperately.  Though everything is telling me no, god no, take back control, leave, walk out, get away, dont. I plead in a voice so needy it surprises even me, “Im yours. Please. I-I'm all yours. “ 

His head cocks back and he smiles, “Good girl, I knew you had it in you.” He hesitates for a second, looking at me. This time, I don’t know what his eyes are saying. Then he digs his head into my core, his tongue exploring what I like, and what I don’t. I’m loud enough so that he knows, and he loves it. He plunges his tongue inside me and takes it out, using my wetness to coat me in a lustful mess. Soft in some spots, rough in others. Fluttering his tongue around my layers, sucking slowly around my clit. Rolling my hips and swinging my arms above my head. My mewls and moans make him work even harder, incoherent words mumble from my mouth. Once I’m close, I cry, 

“Spencer. Oh god Spencer.” 

I’ve already given up control. This can’t be any worse. 

“You’re adorable when you’re like this y’know? All needy and wet,  and all for me. I was right.” He says in a breathless voice that makes me groan with pleasure.

I roll my eyes and mumble, “Right about what..mm?”

“You must’ve wanted me so fucking bad, to be rolling your hips and moaning my name. All this just for me. It’s hilarious.” He breathes with a bitchy smile. Everytime he talks against me, his voice vibrates my insides.

“Shut up.”

He laughs, “No shitty comeback, I must really have you on your knees, or well, on your back, about to come for me.” He smirks.“Y’know.” He says as he licks me up and down, making me shiver and writhe. “I think you look so perfect under me. All simple and helpless.” While before he can spit out anything else, I pull on his hair, pushing him even deeper into me. He doesn’t complain and eats me for all I’m worth, all I am. I cum in waves. Waves of pleasure and a sense of giving in. I’m overtaken, I’ve waited and this was it. I groan and shutter, twitching until it's over. I let out a shaky breath I didn’t know I had. Eyes closed, head held back. Spencer's eyes were on me, I couldn't see them but God, he was admiring me. He thinks I look so beautiful, a sweaty, blushing mess. But he’d never say. One day I won't need him too. The night ends with his arms around my waist, tangled in sheets. 

The next morning was a bliss shattered by a phone call. My familiar ringtone haunts me and my arm wrangles out to grab it, it’s Hotch. Picking it up I yawn, “Yeah? Hotch, is everything alright?” 

“You’re late. So is Spencer. Do you know where he is? He didn’t pick up. Also, come to work.” 

“Shit” I mumble while looking over at Spencer laid out on the bed, the sun hitting him in a way that curses me. 

“Yeah..uhm we hung out after the bar. So I stayed on his couch. We’ll be right there. Sorry!” Sounding so fucking unconvincing.

“You two. ‘Hanging out?’ Alright, just get here.” He said it in that one way, the way you know he’s suspicious of you but not angry, not that angry. He hangs up.

“That was the shittiest excuse I've ever heard. In what world would he believe that we were hanging out?” Spencer laughs from the bed, stretching as he sits up.

“Shut up alright I know, just get dressed and let’s go.” We both stand up, I grab my clothes and walk to the bathroom to get changed. We go to work and receive awkward stares and side-eyes. In a room full of profilers, I’ve never felt so judged.

[r1nstaaa]

bangchan x fem!reader

blond chan is my roman empire.

MDNI!!!!

warnings: smut, chan has a breeding kink lol (he def does), tysm maya for the prompt ily and uh yes. enjoy.

you were sitting on the bed, peacefully scrolling on your phone. recently, your fyp has been filled with videos of the cutest babies ever and its literally torture. they’re so cute, so tiny that it makes you want one of your own. god, the baby fever has been hitting hard.

you looked to the side at your husband, who was also sitting on the bed, right beside you. his right hand was resting on your thigh, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the plush skin. “channie” you called out. “mm, what is it love?” he questioned, not looking up from his phone. ugh, the nickname. it still made you weak in the knees, even after 3 years of marriage. “channieeee” you called out again, demanding his full attention. “yes baby, i’m listening.” he looked up, not breaking eye contact this time. 

you stared at his lips. he knew what you were getting at. “you were gonna say something, baby?” the reminder made you snap your eyes back to his.

“i want a baby.” you deadpanned.

you hadn’t planned on blurting it out this way, it just happened. it had been in the back of your mind since the past few days, but you hadn’t really given it much thought. but chan? its safe to say he’s been dying to fill you with his seed ever since he saw you playing with your nephew during christmas last year. seeing the way you handle kids had him fully convinced you were gonna be an amazing mom and nothing could make him think otherwise.

with chan, all you had to do was ask. your wish was his command. and so, here you were, getting every last one of your wishes fulfilled.

his face was buried in your cunt, licking up every single drop you had to offer. he did not plan on letting anything go to waste. you had lost count of how many times he’d made you cum in the past hour, and if he had any intentions of stopping sometime soon, he was really good at hiding it. your fingers gripped at his hair, the curly strands wrapped around your fingers as you tugged at them lightly, making him groan against your sensitive cunt. the vibrations made you arch your back, the friction from his nose feeling sinfully delicious. “‘m gonna cum channie… fuck” you moaned out as he slipped his middle finger into your aching hole, pushing you closer to the edge. “c’mon baby, i know you can give me one more. that’s my girl.” he said, as he placed kisses on your tummy when you came down from your high.

he placed kisses all the way up to your collarbones, taking his time to fondle with your tits midway. he sucked and bit at your neck, leaving hickies all over the visible parts of your skin. he loved making it difficult for you to hide the remnants of your shared desire for each other. 

“what’d you say darlin’? said you wanted a baby?” he questioned, his hands working skilfully to rub and pinch your nipples. “y-yes.. fuck chan. need you to give me a baby.. please.” you mewled, back arching due to the pleasure. 

“since you asked so nicely…” he grunted as he slapped your clit with his cock, gathering your wetness near your entrance. “who am i to deny, baby?” he said as he pushed his cock inside with one full thrust, making you choke out a broken sob at the sudden stretch. the pain mixed with the pleasure made your brain go all mushy. all you could think about was the way his cock filled you up and the way his hands gripped your waist as he tried his best to not start thrusting into you already. “chan.. fuck me, please.” was all he needed to hear before he started rutting into you, building a rhythm and trying his best to not break it and absolutely ruin you right there. “fuck, you’re taking me so well, pretty girl. gonna fuck a baby into you.” his hands reached out for yours, holding onto them and interlocking his fingers with yours.

his pace was starting to get a bit rougher, hitting that spot inside you with each thrust. “so fuckin gorgeous. all mine, aren’t you?” he whispered against your neck, placing hot, wet kisses on your sensitive skin. 

 “shit, stop clenching ‘round my cock like that baby, gonna make me cum.” his thrusts started getting sloppier as you were both about to reach your highs, him reaching down to press on your clit and rub on it using his thumb. he spat on it and pinched it, finally making you come undone around his cock. your pussy squeezed him in even more, getting impossibly tighter. shit, you were driving him insane.

“fuck baby, m’close. so close.” he grunted. “you wan’ it inside? wan’ me to fill up that pretty little cunt of yours?” you nod mindlessly, completely fucked out. “words, pretty girl.” 

“y-yes channie. fill me up, please.” you said, as your cunt squeezed around him one last before he released his load deep inside you, your walls fluttering around his cock. 

he collapsed onto you, rightfully breathless. he reached down to push his dripping cum into your cunt with two of his fingers, giving you a sweet kiss and pecking your cheek after. 

“might wanna do this again just to be safe, you know?” 

[ghostbustting]

HEY LOVEEE! Could you write some Dave fluff where he’s tough on the outside but really soft on the inside and he’s super clingy and tall are just cuddling and every time you kiss him he blushes like crazy and gets nervous and he’s just subby😭😭 sorry if it’s too much

♯ ; '𝑻𝑰𝑳 𝑰 𝑲𝑰𝑺𝑺𝑬𝑫 𝒀𝑨 ༘⋆

Dave Mustaine x Reader.

Purely Fluff.

Song; ('Til) I Kissed Ya by The Everly Brothers.

Years passes by and changes, changes happen now and then, people come and go, new faces here and there. The evolution that goes on every year is just the way things go. And the way things go was something he was getting used to, leaving it up to fate to handle. But there wasn't quite a turn like this one, somehow he always found this one turn to be rather strange.. yet he can't help but love it either.

Two years ago, Dave Mustaine wouldn't have believed in a relationship pure of love and affections instead of pure lust and sex. His image was clear to anyone that knew his name and his career. He was... tough, some may say, fights often happen here and there. The history he had with women around wasn't so much of a secret either. Being the rockstar he is, a new girl— or specifically, a new groupie, was what he predicted every single night.

That's until you came into the picture.

You and the power you held to make his knees go so fucking weak.

One of the most cliché things in the romance world was the so called feeling of butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Dave found it to be so ridiculous that anyone would ever use that description of a feeling. But God, what else can he use to describe what he felt whenever your lips met even just a single bit of his skin?

He never even believed his cheeks were ever capable to 'blush' at anything till you pointed it out one morning when you woke up in each other's arms, nose touching. Sometimes you found it rather amusing at how quick his tough image melt whenever you look at him with a simple look of love.

There was just something in you that he couldn't handle. Always able to break through his walls and lure the vulnerability buried in him out. He never got the chance to find out whether it was your touch, your smile, your eyes, your words, or just purely your loveable soul.

This rare side of his would often be found at nights such as this one where you would stand and admire him in the backstage as you watch him walk off the stage, being showered with cheers and screams of his fans as he does so. The moment he step into the backstage and his eyes land on your figure, the slight furrow of his eyebrows immediately faded away and you could've sworn the gaze those hazel eyes held softens.

Dave walks up to you and smiles widely, almost looking like an excited schoolboy talking to his crush. "Hi." He breathed out, eyes taking in the sight of you as he rest his hands on your cheeks, fingerpads pressed on the soft skin. "How.. How'd I do? Did you like the show? Was it good?" It was adorable how much concern was in his eyes and voice, as if he didn't want to disappoint you. He truly don't.

"Wonderful. You get better every single day." You'd answer him, smiling softly at his affections with a small amused chuckle. The subtle yet somewhat also not subtle submission he had for you was something you enjoyed and wanted to cherish, who else would get the chance to make Dave Mustaine's face as red as his own gorgeous locks of hair?

The look in his eyes only lightened up when you said that, smile widening that it seems like his cheeks would hurt. His hands slowly trails to your arms till he reach your own hands, interwining both of your hands together like an unbreakable bond. "Really? That's good.. very good."

A small soft laugh leave his lips, he just can't help but feel so joyful around you, the love blooming in his chest just makes him want to jump up and down with you in his arms.

That is when three of his bandmates entered the room, chicks— groupies, hanging under their arms like they were their property, at that moment they probably allowed themselves to be.

Almost instantly, Dave coughed and took one hand off you, throwing his other arm over your shoulder instead as he replace the soft, cute smile with a big cocky smirk you'd often find him use on his band posters. "Ladies." Pushing his hair back with his free hand, he winked at the girls, yet the hand around your shoulders squeezed your shoulder— almost to assure you that he was is yours and yours only.

As the girls blush and giggle at the sight of Dave, you could almost roll your eyes at his silly scenarios, a knowing grin on your lips as you look up at the taller boy, who leaned down to your ear, "C'mon." Dave whispered in such an urgent tone that you could've laughed out loud.

With his arm still over your shoulders, he led you out of the room and into the empty hallway of the backstage, a big sigh leaving Dave's lips the moment the door of the room was closed shut. The hallway was mainly quiet and quite literally deserted although chaos was still heard out in the venue as people make their way out.

Dave's arm slid down and he held your hand again, fingers interlocked and arms swinging back and forth like little kids.

You didn't stop walking till he did, watching him slowly lean his body against the wall with a huff, a piece of his ginger locks moving out of his face frame. The smile from earlier never left your face, still lingering on while you watch his soft eyes stare back into yours, the cockiness gone over a few simple seconds of escaping the groupies.

Dave himself was lost in thoughts. Thoughts of you. Until this moment here, he still can never explain what this feeling is. Well, he never felt a feeling quite like this until he kissed you, can't even believe how he existed till he kissed you.

"You cut your hair." He mumbled, not in a question, but a statement.

An eyebrow raised as a slow chuckle was pulled out of your throat, "No? I mean– I did trim it a little to make it neat, but it was just a small trim, how did you notice?" Your hand instinctively start moving towards your hair, which was interrupted by Dave's own hand already stroking your hair with the slender fingers he'd use to strum and shred his guitar.

He was lost in the soft feeling of the strands and playing with it, your soft hair gently wrapping around his finger just like how he was wrapped around your own little finger. "I just do. Don't question it." He whispered with a small cheesy smile.

Before a single sound could even slip past your lips, his arms flew around your waist all of a sudden, bringing you in for a warm and tight embrace. The strength of his arms cause both of your shoes to be lift from the surface of the floor, a yelp being let out from you as your hands immediately held his shoulders. His fingers were grasping onto you tightly, scared of letting go, scared of never being able to feel your body underneath his touch.

"Dave!" You laughed with your arms around his neck now, faces inches away as a wide smile was plastered onto his face, eyes admiring every single inch of yours as if you were an art to be cherish and look after.

To him, you truly are one of God's wonder. If not a wonder for the world, you really are a wonder for his life.

Kissing him was rather hard to resist with a proximity like this, one of your hand reaching up to lay upon his cheek as your lips inch closer, the smile staying on your lips the moment you kiss him lovingly. After all, seeing the contrast of rosy red on both of his cheeks was one of the things you loved most about him, always made him look so kissable.

When you pull back, he still had his eyes closed with his lips still in that excited and wide smile, small giggles leaving his smile the moment his eyes flutter open. His hand held one of yours and led it down to his chest, right where you feel his heart beating hard and fast.

"Feel that? Only you can do that to me." Dave's voice whispered.

You couldn't help but laugh, "I think it's pretty obvious by now." You spoke, gently interlocking your hand with his and bringing his up to your lips, a soft peck to his knuckles. One peck and a glance at him and he's already blushing mad, looking away.

At first he thought it was pathetic, seeing it as a weakness that he so willingly showed to you. Yet now he found his own reactions to be the only rightful reaction to whatever the hell you are doing to him, whether it's love or witchcraft or fate, he doesn't care.

He just loves feeling this way. He loves feeling what you make him feel.

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Be Careful What You Wish For

Pairing: Kid x AFAB!reader

Summary: When you drink, you always beg your boyfriend to be rougher with you. Every single time, he says no. He’s afraid he’ll hurt you. After a dry spell, your much larger man obliges your request. 

TW: ANGST? Kink communication issue, potential pressure to be into something? Alcohol consumption, Spanking, Rough sex, nipple clamps, improper use of devil fruit powers, sex toy usage, drunk fooling around, Bondage, handcuffs, missionary, unprotected sex, choking, creampie babyyyy, they are in love, Kid loves his lil lady.

Smut Under the Cut (minors DNI you will be blocked)

——

*3 weeks earlier* 

It was 2 AM and you and Kid had stumbled into his captain’s quarters after a night of heavy drinking with the rest of the crew. He had been pawing at your breasts through your shirt and kissing your neck as he ushered you down the hallway. Finally reaching the door, Kid pushed it open and swiftly pressed your smaller figure against it once it was closed and you two were on the other side. While attacking your lips with his, Kid moves to remove his large, imposing metal arm so it can be out of the way for your love-making session. You pull your head back, breaking the kiss.

“Keep it on…” You pant out at him while cupping his face.

“Dollface you know I can’t… It’ll hurt you… I promise you don’t want that…” He insists as he casts aside his apparatus. He leans down to kiss your lips again. Drunk with need (and alcohol), you roll your eyes and drop the issue for the night. Kid picks you up in one arm and lays your body down on the bed. He pushes your torso up, silently asking you to help him take your clothes off. You assist him slip off your top and shorts, laying back down completely bare for him. 

“I will never get tired of this.” Kid says as he slides his hand up your side, marveling at your naked body. “So pretty… and just for me…” His mouth waters at the sight and dives down to kiss you again. Kid slips his tongue into your mouth and you relish in the feeling of his massive body on top of yours, raking your nails gently up his back and into his scalp. You feel his hard dick rubbing into your center as you kiss. 

You whine and rut your hips into his to gain more stimulation on your aching cunt. Kid pulls back and chuckles down at you. 

“So needy as always, baby. Haha don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you, my little-” 

“Choke me.” You interject.

Kid’s eyes blow wide as he stands on his knees on the bed over you. You were in one of your moods again. 

“Absolutely not.” Kid leans down to try to kiss your chest to distract you. 

“Slap me, then. At least spank me!” You desperately press your core into his, trying to tempt him into humoring your most favorite fantasy. You had a pain kink. You knew that. Kid knew that, but he had never given in. You were so small compared to him. As a pirate, you certainly weren’t weak, but Kid was so frightened that as soon as he acquiesced your request, he might hurt you more than you wanted. He would’t be able to live with that. 

“God damnit, Y/n! Stop it!” Kid gripped your hip with his strong, callused hand. 

“Oh my GOD, Kid! I’m not a paper doll! I know you’re strong, and THAT’S one of the things that turns me on about you! I LIKE you BECAUSE you’re big and strong! You aren’t going to kill me, I can take it!” You huff and sit up from your laying position on the bed. “I’m a fucking Kid Pirate! I want to get tossed around a little, roughed up a bit! And I KNOW you want the same thing! I’ve heard you with those girls before we got together! I want you to just… let go for once!” You shout at him. 

“You aren’t like those girls, Y/n!” Kid spits back at you immediately. “Those whores meant nothing to me. I didn’t care what happened to them. But you…” He grabs your hand in his. “You’re my everything. And I just don’t want to go too far and…” 

“Save it. Honestly, Kid? I get it, but save it. If you don’t think I’m strong enough to handle you... then the message is received.” You slip your legs out from under him and off the side of the bed.

“So you haven’t been satisfied in bed with me? Because I’ve seen you squirt enough times to challenge that idea.” Kid is starting to get annoyed with your attitude. 

“Kid I love the sex we have, I’ve just been trying to communicate to you that I might have other needs and wants. You’re telling me you’ve never wanted to manhandle me into ungodly positions until I’m crying? You DON’T want me bent over your lap with my ass bright red for you? You’re saying the thought of me walking around the next day covered in marks showing the crew who I belong to doesn’t turn you on?”

Kid blinks at you. 

“I’m so done having this conversation tonight. Goodnight, Kid.” You slip your shorts and shirt back on and head towards the door. 

“Doll, wait-“ 

You leave your captain’s room and head back to your own, the one where you rarely slept nowadays. Frustrated, you flopped into bed and tried to fall asleep. 

— —

*now*

“Happy birthday, to you! Happy birthday, to you! Happy birthday dear y/n, happy birthday to you!” 

Your pirate crew of oddballs had planned a surprise little get together on the Victoria Punk as a celebration for your birthday. You smiled as you leaned forward, pulled your hair out of the way, and blew out the pink candles on your beautiful birthday cake. You had no idea Killer could bake, but this was a pleasant surprise. 

“Thank you guys, it means a lot… but we have more booze, right?” The crew hooted and hollered loudly as Wire poured more shots. Kid was next to you. You had kept up appearances since your argument in his bedroom, and for the most part you were… fine? You got along, didn’t argue, but you hadn’t shared a bed or a kiss in weeks. He was always near you to dispel any rumors throughout the ship that you two had been having problems. You both took two shots that Wire had poured for you. You winced a bit and then laughed. 

“Are you trying to make this my last birthday?!” You choke out across the table. Your crew mates laughed. You spent the next few hours drinking and enjoying your party. As the festivities died down, your captain pulled you aside against the wooden wall of the ship. 

“I have a special present for you tonight, doll face… want it?” He growled into your ear as he grabbed your hip with his flesh hand. The alcohol in your system was making you forget your argument weeks ago easily. 

“Mhmmm…. What is it? Can I have a hint?” You licked your lips and looked up at Kid, who had a devilish smirk on his face. 

“Let’s just say…” Kid moves his hand to wrap around your face. “It’s something you’ve always wanted.” His smile grows impossibly wider while staring directly down at you. He squishes your cheeks. “Now, open.”

You part your lips for him. Kid gently, slowly drops a ball of spit from his mouth into yours and uses his hand to close your lips. You clench your thighs and swallow. You moan at his vulgar actions. He was so fucking hot. 

“Good girl.” He coos at you. Your eyes roll back into your head. “Let’s go.” 

Kid swiftly picks you up and throws your body over his shoulder as he heads out of the dining room towards his captain’s quarters. The few remaining crew members gave you wolf whistles and cheers as you jokingly gave them the Queen’s Wave from your position draped over Kid’s back. 

You giggled as Kid swiftly carried you to his chambers on the ship. Before he reaches his door, he gives you a sharp, short, smack on the ass with his hand. 

“Oh!” You yelp out, surprised and aroused by the hit. 

“I hope you know what you’re in for, you little slut. You’re gonna be a real good girl for me tonight, right, sweetness?”  Kid growls at you as he bursts into his room, kicking the door closed behind you both. He tosses your body onto the bed face up as he stands at the edge of the bed looking down at you. 

In your horny, drunken state, you giggle up at him. 

“Hmmm…. How good are we talkin’ captain? Because I kinda-“ Your voice falters when you look up at the ceiling and see a chain with handcuffs hanging from it, right above the bed in the center. “Woah…”

Kid chuckled. 

“It’s gonna be a long night, doll, I hope you’re ready. Strip.” 

You begin to reach for the zipper on the side of your party dress to take it off. Impatient, Kid grabs the fabric of the dress right between your breasts with his large metal hand and rips it off your body, leaving the tatters on the bed surrounding your naked form. 

“I liked that one.” You pouted up at him. 

“I’ll buy you 10 more. Up. Now.” Kid grabs your wrists and pulls you up onto your knees on the bed. He lifts your hands above your head and snaps them into the handcuffs. Somehow, the cuffs were at a perfect height that your arms were suspended above your head and you were left kneeling with spread legs in the middle of the bed. You struggled against your cuffs, wanting to feel his toned body against yours so badly, but you couldn’t move. 

“Resisting? I thought you wanted this, hmm? Begging for so long for me to use and abuse your little body… Can’t handle it now that you’ve got it?” Kid slips his jacket off onto the floor, leaving him in just his trousers. He takes his cold, metal hand and wraps it around your whole body, squeezing the steel digits gently into your torso. 

“I-I can take it! I promise! I want it so bad!” You whine out and wiggle your hips in his direction. You couldn’t believe your boyfriend had finally agreed to indulge in your kinks. Your nipples were erect and your pussy was becoming slicker by the moment, just looking into his bright orange eyes that were dark with lust. 

“Oh you’ll take it, haha! You wanted it, you’ll get it.” Releasing your body with a sinister laugh, Kid raised his flesh hand. Something zoomed across the bedroom and arrived in his grasp. It was some sort of metal chain contraption. “Now hold still, sweetness… oh wait! You don’t have a choice!” Kid laughed again as he approached your naked, helpless form with the metal chain. It was a set of nipple clamps. You gasped. He started fastening the clamps onto your sensitive, erect nipples. 

“Oh Kid… fuck…” Your head fell back at the feeling of the cool metal squeezing your hardened buds. Once your captain was satisfied with his work he stood up fully and looked down at you again. 

“Fuck, doll… can’t believe how turned on you are by this. Kind of pathetic really…” Kid leaned in and wrapped his human hand around your neck. He pressed gently at the sides, constricting your breath. You let out a high pitched whine. Kid smirked before turning around and walked to his armchair across from the bed and sitting down. He leaned back in the chair and put up his boots. 

“Kid… baby! Want you to touch me! Please?” You struggle against your cuffs above your head and try to spread your knees further, so he could get a glimpse of your soaking sex. 

“HAH! You think it’ll be that easy? After bothering me for MONTHS to wreck your needy little body? When ALL I wanted to DO was pleasure you? Treat you? Give you all my love? You think I’ll just fuck you that easily? Hahaha, yeah right.” Kid was laughing at you… and it made your cunt gush. 

Kid raised his right hand and pulled his fingers into his palm. With this motion, using his devil fruit powers, the metal chain connecting your nipple clamps pulled into the air and towards him. Your nipples were being tugged painfully in your lover’s direction from your bound position on the bed. 

“OH FUCK!” You moan out loudly, this sensation new to you. Kid hears your pleasure and drops his telekinetic hold on the chain. He chuckles at your sigh of frustration. He then pulls and tugs at the chain using his powers, teasing you for several minutes. “Want more, my slutty little doll? Want me to touch between your legs? I can see how wet you’re getting…” Kid smiled as he tugged at your nipples more forcefully with the chain. 

“YES! More! Please! I need it!” You desperately choke out as he stimulates your sensitive tits. 

“Hmm… I don’t think you’ve earned the privilege of my cock yet… so this might have to do…” Suddenly a silver, shiny egg shaped object flew across the room from a drawer to rest against your left thigh. The object began vibrating lowly and you shrieked out in surprise. 

“Kid!!” You lurched forward as your body got used to the vibrations against your skin. 

“Uh oh… did little girl bite off more than she could chew?” Kid laughs as he slides the vibrator up towards your dripping sex. 

“No…” You whisper out as your hair hung in front of your face. 

Kid finally pushes the metal vibrator up to your cunt and presses it harshly against your throbbing clit.

"OH MY GOD!” You cry out and your knees tremble against the bed as your torso bends forward. You toss your head back and you shudder your hips towards the toy. 

As he moved the vibrator back and forth in a slow, smooth rocking motion on your clit, Kid also resumed his movements pulling at the chain on your nipple clamps. You moaned and squealed loudly under your boyfriend’s hands-free ministrations. You opened your eyes to see Kid in his chair unbuckling his pants and freeing his massive, hard cock. You watch him pump it slowly and release a guttural, primal groan. 

“Kid… please… I want it…” 

“Not until you cum for me like this, doll face.” Kid’s demeanor doesn’t falter with your begging. You were going to have to work for his dick, he couldn’t let you have it so easily. You were going to have to prove to him how much you loved being treated like a toy, a plaything for him. 

You felt the tension in your lower body build under the vibrations on your clit and squeezing of your nipples. 

“I’m so close.. I’m right there… Fuck, Kid, I’m gonna-!” Your body seizes forward under the immense pressure of your orgasm. Your juices spill out around the toy pressed against your messy cunt and you cry out in pleasure. After the waves of pleasure cease, you hang limply against your cuffs and pant out heavy breaths. 

“That’s a good girl… I guess you really are into fucked up shit, huh? How about you take this cock now, baby?” Kid gets up from his chair and sheds the rest of his clothing as he walks towards you. He reaches you, so close to your face, but out of reach for you to kiss him or feel him. 

“Yeah! I can take it!” You breath out, struggling against your restraints. 

“I have to admit… you are cute like this… want to feel me, doll?”

“Yes! Yes! I wanna touch you! I need to touch you! I love you so much, Kid! Please, let me!” You beg with tears in your eyes, you wanted to feel him inside of you so badly. He hadn’t even touched you with his hand all night. 

“As you wish, my love…” His heart panged, finally reaching that sensitive part inside of him. He used his devil fruit power to remove your cuffs and you flopped down bonelessly on the bed. You whined and whimpered for him.

“Shh… I’ll take you now, it’s ok…” He grabbed your wrists and kissed them soothingly. He laid you back and spread your legs for him as he slotted himself between them on the bed. He lined his weeping, angry cock up with your wet hole. Before  he pushed into you, he pressed the crook of his metal hand into your neck and the mattress. As his cold metal squeezed your neck, Kid fully shoved his cock inside of you. 

“Kid… Yes…” You squeaked out as he choked you out. 

“Holy shit you’ve never been this wet or tight before. You really are a little pain slut! Maybe I shouldn’t have had you wait this long if I knew how good you’d feel on my cock like this…” Kid stutters out as he pounds harder and harder into your pussy. 

You felt yourself ready to cum so quickly, it was almost embarrassing… but you felt so safe and comfortable with your captain… The wet glide of his cock in your hungry walls was enough to send you teetering towards the edge again. 

“CAPTAIN! Wanna cum again, please!” Tears spilled from your eyes down your cheeks to meet his metal hand around your throat. 

“Well since it is your special day, who am I to deny you?” Kid picks up the speed of this thrusts and brings his flesh hand up in the air. The vibrator zooms back to your clit and picks up speed. The combination of sensations was so much, your head was spinning and you couldn’t no longer form a coherent sentence. 

“Kid, I- AH!” You squirt and writhe all over your boyfriends thick cock as he relentlessly pounds into you from above. Your orgasm wracked through your body and left you boneless.

“I’m almost there, sweetness, you can take it…” He huffs and puffs as he chases the feeling of your needy cunt milking him of his release. 

Oversensitive from your orgasm, you cry loudly and reach out with your hands to grip at his shoulders. 

“Take all of it, doll, I know you can.” Kid grunts and releases his seed deep inside of you. He softly whimpers as he grinds his pelvis into yours, riding out the last spasms of his climax. He eventually flops onto you and buries his face in your ample chest. A few minutes of silence and heavy breathing go by. 

“Ok maybe you were right about that.” Kid finally mumbles into your breasts. 

“I know.” You chuckle and wrap both of your bodies in his red silk sheets. “Told you I could take it.”

“And take it you did, baby. I love you.” Your man nuzzles into your tits and makes himself comfortable. 

“I love you too, Kid.” And you both drift happily off to sleep. 

xx

[back2bluesidex]

Your Lips, My Lips - Apocalypse - JHS (18+)

Pairing: Demi God!Hoseok X Fem!Reader

Theme: Angst, explicit SMUT, open ending, fantasy au

Wordcount: 2.0k

Summary: You are lonelier than anyone he has ever witnessed. Your loneliness comes with an intensity that matches his, maybe that’s why he is so attracted to you? Maybe that’s why he wants to give you his final moments of existence?

Warnings: Mentions of drinking, loneliness, kind of philosophical, explicit sex, unprotected sex (it's a no no), it's kind of sad. NSFW!!

Minors are not allowed in this blog!!

A/N: It's my man's birthday in less than 24 hours! Yoo-hoo! *sigh* only if he knew that I exist and I love him with my everything. *another sigh* but it's okay! Jung Hoseok, I love you regardless. And I hope you are happy and healthy.

and to my precious readers. hope you guys enjoy this short babie. let me know how is it, if you want! (also if you feel this is My Demon coded then that's right. But I haven't even watched the drama lmao!)

Hoseok can’t read humans’ minds and he thinks it's a handicap. 

No matter how much he loathes the fact, he, still, is a demi-god. One prefix in his title has pushed him down in the hierarchy, taken away his right of authority, his right of serving the verdict and he hates it all. 

But what he hates the most is that he is left with this half-assed power of sensing despair in humans but is totally unable to do anything about it. 

His hand itches to right all wrongs whenever he comes across something that should not be happening, that should be mended by the gods above. On those occasions, he curses those so-called gods a little more than usual. 

What did they say? That Hoseok meddles too much in human business? Just because he saved a 5 years old from a deadly accident? That he has no right to change their fate? That he is just a lowly god that is not even worshiped? That he is to be perished into ash as soon as he changes another human's life directly or indirectly? 

Huh! As if he cares. 

He actually does. Not that he is scared of turning into scattered dust and disappearing into air, but he wants to change someone’s life before he does. 

If he is going to disappear, then he might as well do something worthy of disappearing. 

Like getting to know you, offering you with his company and changing your fate of being alone even if it’s just for a night. 

It has been 2157 years since Hoseok has descended to earth and he has been keeping receipts of every single day. 

He has come across a lot of humans and their despair but he hasn’t done anything. He held himself back and waited for that one final occasion. 

He knew that final occasion was going to be you as soon as his eyes landed upon your figure a year ago. 

That day, he walked into this dimly lit pub to enjoy a glass of whiskey that he came to love so much and to observe some humans for his own record. 

That was then, you walked in. 

More beautiful than some of the goddesses they worship, more mysterious than those unearthly creatures and you made him more intrigued than he had been for 2156 years of his time on earth.  

And also, you are lonelier than anyone he has ever witnessed. Your loneliness comes with an intensity that matches his, maybe that’s why he is so attracted to you? Maybe that’s why he wants to give you his final moments of existence? 

Just like any other Friday night, you are sitting in your usual spot. Tonight you have chosen Gin and Lime to be your companion. 

You look as unapproachable as ever, so much so that even Hosekok feels weak on his knees while gliding smoothly towards you. 

Your eyes are trained on your smartphone when Hoseok slips beside you and heaves a little “hey” to grab your attention. 

You look up at him, your eyes meet him and he knows he is going to be one of those very few lucky men whom you don’t ignore.  

And then you smile, an unusual, non-formalitic and genuine one, and greet him back, “hi”. 

He is astonished to find you keep smiling at him, “Do you mind if I-” 

“Not at all. I have been waiting for you to approach me for a good 10 months now.” you cut him off. 

Hoseok is astonished yet again, or maybe shocked will be a better word. He knows not everyone can notice him. He is noticeable only when he actually wants to be, for instance by being noticeable to the bartenders, so that he can enjoy his drinks. 

But he never intentionally allowed himself to be noticed by you. Or maybe he did? Because all along that’s what he actually wanted? 

“Ah really? You noticed me then?” he breathes slowly, trying not to scare you away. 

“It’s impossible not to notice someone as good-looking as you. On top of that you are a regular here and you look as lonely as I am.” you voice fades by the time your sentence ends. You punctuate it with a sigh. 

He gives you a tainted smile. It’s the first time someone has caught upon his despair too. For the first time he doesn’t feel things are terribly one-sided. For the first time he is not pitying a human but resonating with her. For the first time he feels his ending inching closer. 

“I am Hoseok, by the way.” Hoseok introduces himself while ordering his usual.

“I am Y/N” you reply. Your name rings in his ears, even though he already knew who you were and what you do, but hearing you introducing yourself to him has some weird effects on him. 

“Do you always have the same thing?” you point towards his whiskey. 

“Yeah. I’m not a great fan of alcohol.” he replies calmly. 

“Oh. then what is it, you are a fan of?” 

“Humans.” 

You laugh at it. A clear, ringing laugh that sends tingles to every corner of his body. 

“As if you are not one of us.” you say breathlessly when you are done laughing. 

“Maybe I am not.” Hoseok adds quietly. 

You look intrigued now. Your eyes are filled with a playful glint that has replaced the hazy loneliness. 

“Good then. I hate human beings, even though I am one of them. Maybe I hate myself as well? Who knows.” and within an instant, your despair is back. It is now clouding above your head. Hoseok can see it clearly and he wants to blow the smoke away. 

“Why so?” He places his question delicately. 

“They have done nothing to be loved. At least not the ones I have shared or am sharing my time with.” you sigh. “Even though I am moving on with time, moving on from people and situations, I am going nowhere. It’s as if I am stuck in an endless loop of time and things keep repeating on their own accord.”

Hoseok feels your every word deep in his bones. He has been stuck in this limbo for a long time as well. Feeling people’s pain and being able to do nothing about it is even more painful. And he can’t take it anymore. But tonight he will end it all.. 

“Do you want me to change it? Do you want me to take away your despair?” he says finally, “just answer in yes or no.” his voice feels hoarse all of a sudden. 

You sit straight. It seems as if you can tell how serious he is being. And maybe that’s why you nod a yes. 

Hoseok’s nails dig into your naked waist. His lips trail down the path of your throat, painting bruises on your skin. 

You moan his name when he bites down on the crook of your neck. He feels alive after all these years. The beating of our heart, vibrates into his own chest making him want to be a human like you, for you. 

Your fingers are tangled on his jet black hair. The delicious friction of your nails on his scalp is everything. He works his way to unclasp your bra, throws it away somewhere in your dark room and sets his eyes on your chest. 

“Beautiful. So beautiful for me.” he murmurs as he takes a nipple in his mouth. One of his hands slips into your underwear and finds your sensitive bundle of nerves while the other one massages your unoccupied breast. 

“Oh Hoseok!” you sigh in containment. 

It’s been so long since anyone has called him by his name. Things feel unreal at this point.

Hoseok drives you towards your bed and gently lays you down without breaking the contact with your skin. 

Two of his fingers play with your clit while his mouth dives down the valley of your breast, reaches your naval, and heads towards you core. 

“Hoseok! Quit foreplay! I need you inside me.” You whine while tugging at his hair. Your fingers join his inside your underwear. You take his hand out, pull it towards your mouth and suck your juices from his fingers. 

Hoseok can clearly see his end approaching. But he doesn’t regret it. 

You are warm, slippery and incredibly addicting when he enters you. His cock glides smoothly through your entrance. He thrusts with a force that will satisfy you but won’t break you, reaping out melodic moans from your mouth. 

“Fuc-fuck Hoseok! You feel so-so good! I can’t- ngh” and you cum on his godly cock.

Hoseok sees stars at this point. How can a human being be this addictive? How is he supposed to leave you behind if you keep holding him back like this? How? 

He spills inside you, ropes after ropes of cum shoots inside your pussy, some even leak out and drips down your inner thigh to your bed sheet. 

Both of you are trying to catch your breath but it’s time he ends both of your sufferings. So he climbs on your bed and hovers above your freshly fucked body. Your body glistens with a sheen of sweat, he can’t get enough of you. 

“Y/N” he calls your name and you open your eyes, look directly into his eyes and offer him a weak but genuine smile. 

“I am going to kiss you now. After the kiss, I will disappear, but so does your loneliness, you despair. I will take away the pain you suffer from.” he says in a breath. 

“Hoseok..” you murmur weakly, but before you can say anything any further, Hoseok is kissing you. He cups your face and dives into the kiss. 

The kiss is full of passion and pain, rainbow and rain.. 

Two pairs of your lips mold perfectly with each other, tasting every ounce of your mouth, your life, your soul.

But Hoseok feels it. His legs are not on your bed anymore, those have started to dissipate into air in the form of fine ash. It reaches to his torso, his chest and then his face. A single tear leaves his eyes before he fades away completely. 

And all of a sudden everything is blank. 

It’s been two weeks since you had that weirdly realistic dream. You can still remember his face, his voice but somehow his name has slipped out of your memory. As if he himself doesn’t want you to remember what he was called. 

Or is it just you? Is it because your loneliness has become way too overbearing for you now that you are making up sex scenarios with non-existent perfect men and hallucinating them everywhere? 

You should book an appointment with a therapist. You need it. 

“Excuse me, Ms. Y/N?” the voice comes from right beside you. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice that the bus stop wasn't empty anymore. 

“You dropped your employee ID on the way” the voice speaks again as the man comes to stand before you. 

“Oh shoot! Thanks a lot.” you take your ID from him and look up with a smile. 

But it vanishes and you are shocked to find out that the man of your dream is standing right before you. 

The voice, too, is similar. The only difference you can find is that this guy is filled with boisterous energy, he is less dark than the man in your dream. 

“Did I scare you? You look like you have seen a ghost?” the man laughs. 

“I- I ah..” you fumble with your words, “you look like someone I knew.” you laugh back awkwardly. 

“Oh I see.” he pauses for a bit, “I am Hoseok, By the way.” he continues, extending a hand towards you. 

“Hi Hoseok. I am Y/N” You wrap your palm around his. 

Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie @violetsiren90

[spoiled-slutt]

Made my account like 3 seconds ago, and I'm already Finnair rant. MY YANDRE SIMULATOR PHASE HAS BEEN COMING BACK

(I checked Google. Me no pedo. They're all 18!! Even if not, they're aged up to 18+! Don't cancel me please </3)

Sub! Budo/Taro/Yan-kun/Info-kun x Dom! AFAB!Reader

Cw: blood, knife play, smut/lime(?), sub & dom

OKOK SO LET ME SAY I LOVE BUDO SO FUCKUNG MUCH. HE IS SO 😍😍

The men I love so much are like. Taro, Budo, Yan-kun, Info-kun. LIKKEE 😍😍

I can imagine every single one of them on their knees while you hold their chin.

Taro

Taro has ples and begs coming from his mouth immediately. He pawing at your lap as he tried to kiss your lips again after you pulled away from his swollen lips. But he is always such a good boy for you. He is rock-hard in his pants. He's leaking precum by you, just pettung hid hair. you give him a reward. He loves it so much. And when he's a brat, he loves to tease you so you can punish him. Cause you bite at his neck, slap at his thigh, and pull on his hair. It just makes his dick so happy. He cries, but you and him both know he loves it. And when you start to actually show attention to his dick his eyes are rolling to the back of his head. Seeing stars. While you only just touched the tip slightly. But let's be real. He loves to please you. So doing what you want to makes him so fucking happy. He loves to eat you out. The first time he ate you out. He knew nothing. He was clueless. But when you showed him with you liked. He went full in eating you out like a starved man

Budo

Budo is such a brat. You have to have him crying for him to actually start begging for you. He has a big ego, so you have to try hard to get his bratty behavior down. You smile each time he yelps when you slap at his thigh. He has came multiple times by you just slapping his thigh. Or pull his hair because the next morning, he acts like he never did such things. (He secretly loves it when you have him on his knees. He just loved the ruff treatment and showing off his marks) but when he's surprisingly a good boy, he loves it when he can actually touch you when you're riding him. When he can actually explore your body when you're riding him <3

Yan-Kun

Yan-kun is already on his knees as soon as you say you want to have control. He doesn't hesitate for a second. Hearing you dom him makes his legs buck and hid legs go extremely weak. He hard as fuck in his pants already. And all you did was pat his head. He has puppy dog eyes. He likes it when you Dom and put him in his place. Just makes him feel so good. BUT LIKE TARO HE LOVES TO EAT YOU OUT. His face drenched in your juices while you grip his head to control him how to do it. He loves that you're shoeing him. He eats you as if he hasnt been fed since the dsy he was fucking born. He loves when you grip his head and stop him just when youre about to cum caude you want to cum in his cock as a reward. But when he's a brat, you go to the extreme. You have him tide down and use his own knife to cut his skin, making him bleed. Hid eyes roll to the back of his head each time as his jaw unhinged . And God, when he's a good boy, he loves it when you give him a reward. He doesn't even know when the reward is going to happen. Once, while at his house watching a movie. You gave him a passionate kiss, and you place your knee between his legs. And you give him a nice and slow blowjob while looking at him. He absolutely loves it. New photos added to his shrine <3

Info-Kun

I just know you have to break Info-kun to get him on his knees. You have to down talk him so much. By the time you actually start to touch him, he's rock hard and panting. He is such a brat that you have to constantly spanking him. But he loves it so much cause he loves the prints. And when you give him hickeys he squirms a lot. But God, he loves it. It's just that he can't help it. But he loves them cause he can only see them. He and only him. But when he's a good boy, he gets to choose what happens, and he almost always gets you to give him a hand job. He loves your warm hands around him. And he always chooses to put it on your face while you stick your tongue so he can take a photo. He has a whole file just about nasty pictures of you <3

[justcallmesakira]

Omgomgomgomg Sakira for your Valentines event, can I request Angst prompt 11 (''Soulless roses purge from my mouth, with your lips on another womans one'') for reader and Dazai please? I'm a sucker for unrequited love owueuaisha but please take your time with this request! 💖

"Soulless roses purge from my mouth, with your lips om another womans one"

Prompt 11

Sypnosis: Really, hanahaki symptoms for a man who flirts with every single woman? How pathetic and foolish can you be?...

Genre: full angst

Dazai x reader

Warnings: vomiting obv since its hanahaki disease, no comfort(?), implied jealousy, suicide, slight implication to "No longer human", happy ending!!! :D

A/N: Tysm silver for requesting!! i tried my best to finish it in time but i am very sick rn so---i decided to give a happy ending since i was feeling merciful today :33

»~⋆ Hanahaki Syndrome˚⋆« -Shiki Miyoshino 𝟎:𝟑𝟒 〇────── 𝟎:𝟓𝟖 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻ ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

You loved him, alot actually.

But was he yours to begin with? Did you really believe he could be yours?

Dazai was sort of a playboy you knew. Everyone in the agency warned you about his tactics and charms.

"Dont worry, kunikida-kun! i am not going to fall in love with dazai, hes just a collegue at the end of the day!" You replied to kunikida when he warned you about the bandaged man. "Still, y/n I know you probably wont even get in contact with that guy, but i will just remind you of that womanaizer" Kunikida said with a serious tone, he was not very angry or anything but simple putting out care for you.

But did you listen? Because those petals say otherwise.

You entered the cafe downstairs with a beaming smile. You made Dazai a bento box today, if anything you even used various food items to draw out Dazai`s pretty face over the rice.

“Ah Bella!!! I can’t believe it, you should totally come to my apartment tonight”

You were expecting the same waitress he would flirt with everyday but to your surprise when your eyes met the couple sitting on one of the tables, you were shocked.

A woman, perhaps a bit older than the man flirting himself, pretty amber eyes and shiny long black hair.

You couldn’t decide whether you should go up to dazai and give him the gift you worked hard on or just leave them be. You hated it when he flirted with other women..a bit too much.

it hurts you, really it did to see him with someone other than you. Were you not worthy of him? Were you just an another girl who was the bandaged man’s doll to toy around with? Were those moments when he excitedly held your hands just a lie? Were those missions you protected him with your life just for the agency..?

Was coughing out all your pain in flowers really worth it? For him? For Dazai Osamu? For your ‘only love’?

No! It couldn’t be! Of course he would love you! Dazai would surely give you all the affection and love you needed, right?

While you were lost in your thoughts all of a sudden the pain you were feeling in your head started to form in your heart, and that heart dropped down to your stomach which instantly made you drop the bag and run to the washroom, the urge to puke coming out of your mouth.

Your steps slowed down as you reached the basin

"Oh god this isn`t happening, shit shit"

cough cough

Petals of a crimson rose chunked out of your mouth forcefully as you kept coughing, You swore you could feel a lump feeling in your throat as if a huge, full bloomed sweetbriar would pour out of you and into the sink.

You wanted to cry, why did this hurt. This feeling of being unheld and sore for someone else's touch and love who will probably never even look at you in the same light,,,It hurt more then the never ending fir you were currently expreriencing.

After an painful epiisode of coughing , a huge floret perhaps the size of a human eye lumped out of your throat which left you panting as your knees felt weak against the counter and you washed you face with some water.

The pain was so unbearable you had to fight the urge to rip off ur throat. Just looking at your reflection on the mirror lets you see why Dazai doesnt want you.

"Y/N-chan!! are you alright?" a familiar voice of a young tiger boy calls out to which you reply, "Ah! dont worry A-atsushi-kun i am A-OK!!"

Your voice shouts back cheerfully still, the sickness could be heard in your tone even after you go out and see dazai with a cheeky smile holding the bento box in his hand. He seemed to have found your little gift.

"Y/NNNNN!!! you seem sick ya alright? Also is this for me?? Your so sweet yknow! i could almost give out my heart to you!" The man says with stars in his eyes, quite the pretty set of eyes you thought. "Ah- thats r-right dazai i made it specifically for you, i really..really hope you like it" you somehow blurt out, god was it agonizing to know that that sweet soft smile doesn`t belong to you even if its a mask, a mere fake smile.

It hurts...alot to know this harsh reality.

Why were you so weak? You had questioned yourself each time your pathetic condition got worse, each a new shade of crimson indicating it was getting worse.

The day went normal, the ladies` man flirting with the woman from the bar across the street from what you had heard her name was Tsuneko, a pretty girl with a pretty smile, Oh how badly you wished you were in her place. In her shoes, laughing and sneaking off to who knows where with that bandaged man.

Atsushi noticed your drowsy eyes and gloomy demeaner but didn`t comment anything only stopping by a few times to check whether you were okay or not, he was sweet and caring, he really was.

Too bad you didn`t listen to everyones words.

During lunch hour you saw how dazai opened your bento box which you put your heart to with care and started munching on a crab leg, he loved crabs.

You were happy even for a moment that atleast his hue on his cheek brightened until you realized a certain someone was accompanying him.

It was like a illness blooming from a dying wilted seed.

Slowly dazai placed a chunk of the seasoned crab on her tongue, Tsuneko.

"Wow, Osamu this is really good did your friend make this?" she inquired in delight. "I know? god shes so sweet!" the man snickered and continued to talk more about his friends, or so what he calls them.

By time you had seen how intimate they got, their secret walks, the night, everything just because how dazai told you how he found the perfect suicide partner.

Tsuneko Tsuneko, Tsuneko, Tsuneko...

Everything was about her yet you still couldn`t loathe the deary couple, they looked like actual soulmates. Who were you to interfere?

You had a little crush now your hating on some sweet woman, seriously how pathetic can love really make you be you had wondered on your final moments.

Days turned into weeks

Flirts turned into touches,

Petals turned into full bloomed roses.

And still your heart didn`t stop beating rapidly around him, even though you tried avoiding him can your love for him be avoided?

It was painful, how longer, why did god allow you to love.

You coughed out another rose on your bathroom sink, a black one this time. The colour of mourning, whereas you mourn for your dead love, one which wilted away like a sad rose in a garden of white lilies long ago yet you still water it. It has been so long that you had beared with this pain, everyone`s hearts have its limits.

You could only feel tears brimming down your face like a glistening waterfall as your legs gave in to the soreness of your body and the aching of your throat.

"Why..dazai, why me..."

It was time...

Dazai and Tsuneko shared many similarities, in which both of them were poor, unhappy souls. Both of them shared lots and lots of conversations which escalated to a funs and giggles to words of a deeper route.

You could have also conversed with him, but he had already deemed you to be a normal and simple daisy, not a beautiful roseate with petals growing out of passion for him.

"Tsuneko, join me in a double suicide, if i have to die i want to die with the woman of my dreams." Dazai declared to her, holding her soft hands in his dry bandaged ones. It seemed the whether will deteriote like a corpse today by the way the clouds are looking.

Both of them stood on the sandy meadows of yokohams grounds with tsuneko in a delightful expression.

"Oh dazai, yes, yes lets do it dazai for i too am sick of this body" Tsuneko smiled, a dead smile. Tsuneko loved dazai and maybe he loved her back too so it would only be appropriate for them to die together.

And as the two lovers slowly collided with the water, your body stood with grace in a flowing white dress slid upon your scarred body.

"Soulless roses purge from my mouth with your lips on another womans one." you tune out softly in despair and a voice of shallowness which you wish you could use to sing for dazai and for him to look at you the way he looked at Tsuneko when she sang on the bar stage.

Your eyes were empty, you can finally be free like a bird in the sky with no strings of a human heart attached with you. The blood splattered on your dress made you looked etheral with your open hair flowing in the harsh wind under the grey skies.

A set of bare feet on the bridge`s railing. Pitch black empty eyes, a rosy and murdered dress and at least...Peace.

You fell hard onto the lake, you were used to this though. This bottomless deep sea of emptiness was nothing compared to the sea of agony you felt when you saw him.

Two bodies were later found at the lake, both gone cold from the freeze of the atmosphere.

A woman was also found it was indicated that she tried to end her life for her eyes seemed to be filled with agony when the poilce found her and somewhat saved her.

"Dazai, my...baby dazai" the woman sniffed and cried on the ground with sirens being loud in the background.

"Ma`am would you please tell me who this dazai is and what is your name?" a female police calmly asked the hysterical woman on the ground.

"Tsuneko.." sniff sniff "Dazai, we promised..to die together, why..?" she cried bitterly. There was only her who they found but after a few moments just when they were about to send tsuneko to the poilce officer they found two corpses run cold from the freezing water.

A brown haired man with a beige coat and another young woman with a gorgeous white dress and blood splattered all over the fabric, it seemed like she vomitted out the blood.

"They.. hahh. They were meant for each other weren`t they..." tsuneko said with a somewhat tired yet relived smile. Its true she was disappointed she couldn`t die with her loved but at least she got to see two people who had coughed out flowers of kinds for each other get intangled, even in death.

Even though both the corpses went cold somehow a glow of light and passion radiated from them for both of them had a smile on their faces infact another thing they identified which was common was that in the pockets of both bodies were an overflowing amount of sooty crimson roses.

The petals weren`t worth all the fight but at least you knew that the same person you coughed for had the same condition.

A/N: Fun Fact Fiction time! (i luv doing these lol-): If you didnt know, tsuneko is actually a character from Dazai Osamus book "No longer human". She was the one who commited double suicide with Oba but oba was the one who survived and tsuneko died which mean..yknow :)

Divider crds!: @plutism

Tags!: @silverbladexyz @saelique @atlasnessie @biscuits-spooky-corner @tojifile @ruanais @riiwrites @tsuunara @typcallysid14 @heartsfourdazai @elizais (Do let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my taglist in my inbox!)

[jakesguitarsolo]

i can’t stop thinking about your impure jake thought, “Be angry all you want. Even better. How about you ride me like you hate me, then I’ll fuck you like I love you? How does that sound?”

like OH. MY GOD. 🥵🥵

thank you for sharing😩 need this turned into a fic ASAP

I can’t stop thinking about it either. I’m definitely no writer, just have a few filthy thoughts about Jake every single day of my life 🫠 BUT I’d imagine the scenario to go something like —

Warnings: minors DNI! 18+ only, SMUT, angst, fluff, arguing, negative self body talk, alcohol use, name calling, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, air/breath play, riding, probably some more but I’m new to this so forgive me.

You gave Jake the silent treatment all the way home, wanting him to figure out on his own why you were so upset. You usually loved when fans saw Jake out and wanted to say hi or get a picture. This time was different. She was very blatantly flirting with him. Right in front of you. And he was fucking flirting back? You almost couldn’t believe it, but you knew his signs well. Not to mention, in your mind, she was everything you weren’t. Tall. Blonde. Blue eyed. Skinny. The hug Jake gave her lingered for a moment too long. He stared deep into her eyes while she was going on and on about how amazing of a guitarist he was. You saw his eyes flicker from hers down to her lips and back up again. By this time, your blood was fucking boiling.

Jake finally pulled up the car up to your shared home, and you immediately exited the car practically sprinting to the door so he wouldn’t see the unshed tears in your eyes. Slamming the door before he could make it inside, you took off up the stairs to the bedroom. But he was quick behind you. You had already stripped yourself of your tight dress and threw on one of Jake’s big tshirts. Noticing that something was clearly wrong now, Jake entered the room and asked you “Sweetheart, what happened? I don’t understand why you’re so mad. I thought we were having a good night out together.” Maybe it was the few drinks in your system, but you couldn’t hold back as you screamed “Are you fucking kidding me Jake?! Don’t act like you weren’t just flirting with that gorgeous fan like the attention whore you are!” You were so angry that you were shaking. Jake chuckled. “Oh you think that’s funny? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jake slowly made his way across the room and right up to you. Your breath hitched as he pressed his warm body into yours. He bent down, cupping your jaw with his rough, calloused hands and whispered into your ear “Be angry all you want. Even better. How about you ride me like you hate me, then I’ll fuck you like I love you? How does that sound?” Fuck. Your knees went weak. Jake always knew just what to say to make you cave and give in to him. Your body constantly longed for him. Craved him. The wetness between your thighs was immediate and undeniable. You could feel his already hard cock straining against his pants. You went to look up at him wanting to kiss him, but he backed away. Not looking away from you, he unbuttoned the rest of the buttons on his shirt and pulled it off his shoulders letting it fall to the floor. Your mouth was salivating. God, he was so fucking beautiful. You never could resist him. Jake kicked off his shoes and unzipped his pants, but didn’t take them off. Just let them hang low on his hips as he got on the bed and sat up against the headboard. “Come over here and take what you want.”

You were still so damn mad at him. Part of you knew that he did it on purpose. He loved when you took control. He loved to let you take your anger out on him and then show you how much he wanted you and only you. Your pure carnal instinct took over as you went over to him on the bed, grabbed him by the throat, got on top of him, and crashed your lips hard into his. Jake smirked into the kiss, squeezing your hips and pulling you down on his lap. Urging you to grind down on him. He opened his mouth up to yours as you pushed your tongue against his. Retreating from his lips briefly, you grabbed the hem on your shirt and pulled it over your head. Jake’s hands and mouth went right to your chest as he flicked his tongue on your nipple making it hard instantly. You were already getting to work on his pants, pushing them further down trying to free his thick cock from his boxers. Jake groaned as you grabbed his cock in one hand, sat up higher on your knees, and lined him up with your soaking wet pussy. Lowering yourself slowly onto him, you threw your head back in ecstasy attempting to hold back a moan. As crystal clear as it was that you were enjoying every second of this, you were still pissed at him and wanted him to know it. “Use me however you want, sweetheart. Hate fuck me. Make yourself feel good.” Picking up the pace, your hand went back to his throat squeezing harder. Restricting his breath more and more. You could feel Jake’s body harden and tense beneath you as you rode him mercilessly, moving up and down on cock. You released your grip on his neck and moved your hand to the back of his head, up into his soft, long hair and pulled hard, angling his head back into the headboard. Jake whimpered and moaned at your harsh touch. His nails were digging into the meat of your hips when you switched up your movements and started grinding back and forth on him. Grinding your clit deliciously against his pelvis with his cock buried deep inside you. Fuck, you were close and he knew it. “Keep going, sweetheart. I can feel you squeezing me. You wanna cum on my cock? Take it. It’s all yours.” Those words were all it took. Like clockwork, you were unraveling on top of him. Cumming harder than you ever had before. Your entire body was tingling.

You felt Jake peppering light kisses all over your neck and chest as you slowly came down from your high. With glossy eyes, you looked down at him and said “Wow… Jake that was amazing. Shit.” You were still livid with him, but couldn’t help but praise him after that incredible orgasm. He grabbed you by the back of your waist, pulling you close to his body, and flipped you over so you were now underneath him. “Oh you didn’t think we were done now, did ya sweetheart? No, no, no… I know you had fun hate fucking me but it’s my turn to show you how much I want you. Show you how much I love you.” With that, he slowly started pumping in and out of you. He was still rock hard and deep inside you as he hadn’t pulled out of you from before. You moaned and closed your eyes when he started moving his hips. Jake cupped your jaw bringing his forehead flushed to yours. “Nuh-uh. Keep those eyes on me, sweetheart. I want to look into those pretty eyes when I make you cum on my cock again.” His thumb went to your bottom lip, tugging it down so your mouth was slightly parted, as he brought his lips to yours in a heated, passionate kiss. Jake continued his deep, long strokes and swallowed your soft whimpers and moans in the process. “Does that feel good, sweetheart? You were made for me. Feel how perfectly I fill you up?” You couldn’t help it as your legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him closer, deeper into you, “Yes, Jake. Fuck. Please, more.” Your eyes welled up with tears when he quickly pulled out of you. “What the- What the hell, Jake?”

“Turn over. On your hands and knees. Now.” You obliged his demand right away. Waiting, begging for him to put his cock back inside and start fucking you again. Jake got behind you and started teasing your pussy, rubbing the head of his cock against your clit as you involuntarily arched your back more and pushed your hips back. You could tell he was smirking when he said, “Patience, sweetheart. I’ll give you what you want. I want to take my time and show you how much I fucking love you.” Finally, he lined his cock up with your dripping entrance and groaned as he pushed himself inch by inch into you once again. You lowered yourself onto your forearms, sticking your ass up even more and moaned into the sheets. Jake picked up his speed, setting a relentless pace. Fucking into you deep and hard now. “Fuck, sweetheart. You look so fucking beautiful taking my cock so damn well. Do you want to see?” Before you could get a word out, he grabbed you by the neck and pulled you up so your back was pressed to his front. He pointed at the full length mirror in your bedroom, angled perfectly towards the bed for moments like these. He loved watching the look on your face as he touched and pleasured every inch of you body, and tonight was no exception. “Look at yourself. Look at how your body reacts to mine. How it needs mine. How much I need you.” You couldn’t hold back your moans at this point. Just the way he spoke to you was enough to make you cum again. He always made you feel wanted. Always made you feel appreciated. In this moment, you couldn’t even remember why you had been jealous. Jake was yours. You were his. That had been evident since you met. He could feel you getting close again so he reached around to your front and starting rubbing tight circles on your clit. He kept his eyes on your face from behind you through the mirror, almost mimicking your facial expressions. Jake got off on making you feel good. That’s all he ever wanted. It didn’t take much longer. “I love you, sweetheart. You know that, right? I love you so fucking much.” The heat started to spread throughout your body. Your body went numb for a brief second before the orgasm ripped through you, sending tidal waves of pleasure to every limb. Jake felt your walls flutter and spasm around his cock as he came with you. Filling you up with his cum and fucking it deep into your pussy. Your head fell back on his shoulder. You both attempted to calm your heavy breathing and panting as you came down together from quite possibly the best orgasm you both had ever had. Yup, you were wrong. THAT was the hardest you had ever came. Jake grabbed your chin, bringing his mouth to yours once again as he whispered “Tell me you love me too, sweetheart.” You looked into his caramel brown eyes and without hesitation said, “You know I love you, Jake. I love you so much it hurts.” He smiled, slowly pulled out of you and you both immediately missed the feeling of being as physically close as possible. He lightly kissed your lips and told you not to move. Jake cleaned you up and ushered you into the bed naked so he could hold you close as you both slowly drifted off to sleep. “I guess I should get mad at you more often.”

[neoarchipelago]

And they were Roommates (Part 20)

A/N: there is.. SO MUCH happening in this chapter like.. Even i was overwhelmed. here it is my darling.

WARNINGS: mention of death.

The team was a mess. You had immediately driven back to the base, Kate meeting you there. A team was gathered with the squad to find any clues. You were sitting at your desk, viewing every single camera on the base trying to find a hint. You had a feeling they were alive. Your anxiety was making a mess out of you. You were nauseous. 

"Y/N." 

You turned your head to Kate. The firm and stern look on her face betrayed her own anxiety. 

"Hopkins is here." 

You got up, following her out. The squad were right outside the door. 

"Kate." Price said. 

"We're meeting Hopkins." She informed. 

"Very well. I'm sending Soap with you, I have to brief the team you got me." 

She nodded soap hurrying up to you. He stood, sharing glances with Simon, a hint of a nod sent to each other. He had orders from Simon to remain with you. You knew it. He was worried too. Worried about the girl's and worried about you. It had crushed you already to lose him a little over a month ago. 

If you were honest with yourself, you didn't know how to feel. You were broken. They meant so much to you. A part of you was in denial, trying to convince you that it wasn't what it seemed. That they were ok. That Eric didn't take them. 

Because it was obvious to you. It was Eric. Walking to the meeting room you felt your anger rise. The doors opened and the view of the general was enough to make you snap. 

"You incompetent asshole!" You let out. 

Soap was taken aback. He let a 'damn…" under his breath. 

"Sparrow, I would like to remind you that one of my men is dead." He answered in an angry tone. 

"It wouldn't have happened if literally any FUCKING criminal wasn't able to get into this high security base like a fucking candy store!" 

"Sparrow, calm down." Kate tried. 

You took a deep breath soap trying to pat your shoulder. You turned to him, his little scaredy look made you calm down a bit. 

"Listen. We're doing everything to find them and discover what happened. We got all hands on deck." Hopkins countered. 

"You better fucking be." 

"Sparrow. Our priority is to find them. To find the girls but to also catch Sergeant Eric." 

You frowned, something was telling you that he had other goals in this story. 

"What are you hiding?" You asked, crossing your arms. 

"Excuse me?" 

"Don't even try to fucking lie to me." 

He stood silent. 

"What did they promise you? What price did they put on Eric's head?"

"It's not-"

"You make me sick." 

"A little over dramatic sparrow." He stated. 

"No! Literally. You make me sick…" 

"What..?" Soap asked, confused. 

"I have to throw up…" 

You felt absolutely horrible. You could feel the nausea. It was so sudden. You spun around running for the door, hoping to reach the bathroom on time. 

"Sparrow! What?!" You heard Kate. 

You were already out the door. You could hear soap running after you in the hallway. Barely making it to the bathroom, you swing the door open before dropping to your knees feeling your stomach clench. God… you hated to throw up. The burning sensation, the lingering taste. Two hands wrapped around your hair, lifting it up. Looking up for a split second you threw a thankful look at soap before another fit of nausea hit you. 

"Are you ok? Shit Y/N…" soap worried. 

Another person ran in, you heard it but you couldn't look behind. The voice was very recognizable though. 

"What happened? Kate told me to get a water bottle and come here… Y/N are you throwing up?" 

"No bishop… I'm trying to find Nemo…" 

You didn't need to see her to know she had rolled her eyes. She chuckled behind you. 

"John, are you alright? You look terrified." She teased. 

"She's throwing up… why is she throwing up? LT is going to murder me…" 

You let out a very weak laugh. 

"Did you make her throw up?" She kept teasing. 

"What?! No! I think Hopkins did!" 

"What?" Margo asked, confused as well now.

"Yeah she said he made her sick!" 

"I don't think he actually made her sick John…" 

"Guys…" you interrupted. 

Bishop walked closer wrapping her hand around your hair, placing the cool water bottle at the back of your neck. You yelped at the cold feeling, but it soothed you. 

"You alright?" She asked. 

"I think so…" 

You opened your closed eyes, sitting back. You heard her flush, thankful for not having to do it, you'd probably puke again if you had to look. You felt a soft wind on your face, opening your eyes to Bishop fanning you with some file. 

"Thank you Margo…" you whined. 

"No problem, love. You ate something bad?" She asked. 

"I think… I think it's the stress. It's been a wreck for the past few hours." You tried. 

"You haven't rested… have you eaten something? It's pretty late…" she checked her watch, wincing. "Come on, let's get you up."

Soap scrambled behind you, helping you up with Margo and walking you to the sink. You washed your face, gurgling to try to erase the awful taste lingering on your tongue. Bishop handed you the fresh water bottle. 

"Are you alright?" 

You met Soap's eyes in the mirror. You smiled at him, throwing a small nod. 

"Could you please call price… tell him to finish the meeting with Hopkins and Kate?" You tried. 

"Yeah yeah yeah…" 

You smiled, turning to look at bishop. You melted at the soft look she sent the man dialing on his phone. Meeting your gaze she winked before wrapping her arms around you. 

"Sergeant ?" You heard. 

He had but it on high speaker. 

"Huh captain. Could you finish the meeting?" 

"Finish the meeting? What happened?" 

"Hum… Hopkins made her sick…"

"Soap!" You and bishop countered. 

"Sergeant, what?" 

"Y/N threw up, I'm with her and bishop." 

"She what?!" Another voice called. 

Fuck…

"I'm fine! I'm ok! It's probably just stress. Simon.." 

"Alright. I'll get on with the meeting, lieutenant take care of the brief. Soap, get to the brief." 

You heard a faint 'pass it over' on the other side before soap turned off the high speaker and passed the phone to you. 

"Simon…" you started. 

"Are you alright?" 

"I'm fine really… it's just the stress… the anxiety…" 

"Baby. I'll find them. Rest." 

"Simon…" 

"Get one of the rooms and rest. Baby please…" 

"What if something happens?" 

"You'll be the first to know. I'll make sure." 

"Alright…" 

"Good girl… I love you." 

"I love you…" 

Handing the phone over to soap you heard bishop chuckle in your ear. Soap nodded both your ways, throwing a wink at bishop before running out the door. 

"Come on let's get you to rest." 

"You heard?..." 

"I'm literally standing right next to you. Come on baby" she teased. 

It had been a few hours. Kate had asked to prepare some meeting room for you and the team. Computers were set messily around the room where everyone kept typing. You were sitting on a pile of pillows and blankets dropped on a giant bean bag. It irritated you. Being treated like a little doll. Tiredness was screaming otherwise. You sat with your laptop on your lap. Riley laid down next to you. His protectiveness increased in the last few days.

Two things had been uncovered. Firstly, it was Eric. You could clearly see on the video cameras. Secondly, they had left the base already. To your luck, he had only left the base a few hours before you discovered the body, probably realizing that you'd all find it strange. Everyone had switched to a bigger circle of search. 

Hopkins had sent pictures to all airports, bus stations, train stations and police stations. 

You didn't rest. How could you? Time kept ticking, the more it ticked the less chances you got to find them. Snacks were brought to you, some take-out food that you had very quickly downed, not realizing how hungry you were. The nausea came and went, thankfully not bringing you down to your knees again. 

"Got it!!" 

You jumped at Coyote's voice. Liz brought everyone's attention to her screen, a camera pointing to an old decrepit motel, two figures and a child entering one of the rooms. 

"Send location to Hopkins and local cops." You ordered, trying to stand. 

"Already on it." Grim added. 

It took five minutes for the boys to get to the conference room. Simon had immediately rushed to you, holding you close. 

"Simon…" you whispered to him. 

"I'm right here. Whatever happens. I'm here." 

It wasn't anxiety anymore. It was something much worse. A heavy sword seemed to linger over your head, ready to slam down on you. Eternity stretched through the seconds, silence and heartbeats filling the room. Hushed breaths, and hugs around. Price held Liz close to her, bishop nested in soap's arms as grim's small body was engulfed in a big bear hug by Konig. Gaz remained close to Richard and Aquila. Kate remained close, hawk gaze watching everyone.  Everyone was turned to the wall where a projector showed the current operations on field. 

You couldn't breathe. The only thing echoing was the few operation calls and orders the cops were throwing around on the field. The closer they got to the room, the sicker you felt. The sword kept trembling dangerously, threatening to fall. Your hands were fisted in Simon's tactical shirt, his arms tight around you, making sure to trap you in his warmth. 

Your heartbeat was deafening to your ears. It crushed the little sanity you were trying to keep. You were unsure if you heard correctly when the news fell. When the captain on the field broke the news. You felt Simon's hand tangling in your hair bringing you to his chest as he kissed the top of your head, the other hand rubbing your back. Your voice was shaking when you repeated the news out loud. Trying to fully grasp the reality. 

"She's dead." 

And then, the sword fell.

You cried. Yes you did. Silently. Simon had held you the entire time, he hadn't left. The team had gotten back to searching, this time to an obsessive extent. He was still out there. With Amy. You felt like you had no time to grieve. None. Amy was the only thing on your mind. The boys had shifted. Cold gazes and threatening voices. You had never seen them like this. Ever. The rage and anger filled them and Simon was more than restless. When you had let him go he had immediately turned to his gear, getting ready. Riley remained close to you, never leaving your side, but keeping an eye on Simon.

Glances and touches were still shared. Silent comfort and promise. You were glued to your screen. Long gone were the legal ways to track them. Between anger, worry and rage especially against Hopkins, you hated yourself. For not protecting her. For not doing something sooner. 

Suddenly you were hungry. Starving. You frowned. 

"Y/N… you alright?" Liz asked. 

You looked up, now feeling very scrutinized by everyone. 

"Y-yeah… I'm just a bit hungry." 

Bishop frowned. 

"Come on, let's get something to eat. I think we all need it. John, will you come with us?" She said. 

You were going to complain, refuse, unfortunately Simon fully agreed. You looked at him, pleading, but he dropped another kiss to your head, before asking you to please go with them. The rest of the team reassured you they wouldn't let go of their objectives. You were finally convinced. Mostly because they were still working. And they deserved something to eat. Heading out with the couple, you followed silently, not participating in the small conversation. Bishop had excused herself while you and soap met with Kate, planning something for everyone to eat, whether it was take-out again or not. 

The sun was already rising, now realizing everyone had spent the night awake. Your mind wondered, remembering the first time you and Melissa met. Her warm smile and welcomingness. The gossip, chit chat and movie nights. It brought tears to your eyes. You wanted to crumble again. Cry out, the pain in your chest constricting your breathing. Or.. was it something else? You were having heartburns. You frowned through tears. You brushed it away, mind focusing back on Amy. 

Little Amy. She must be terrified. You didn't think he'd hurt her. He'd want to keep her for him. What Melissa had feared was slowly becoming reality, it was up to you and the team to stop it. Get Amy back, and be there for her. 

"Hey, sparrow!" 

You looked up, seeing bishop. You wiped your tears, walking to her. She grabbed your wrist pulling you behind her, Soap soon following, curious. 

Pushing past a door, you looked around. 

"Why are we in the bathroom again?" You questioned. 

She rummaged through a plastic bag before handing you a box. You read it before gasping. You were going to say something but Soap beat you to it. 

"A pregnancy test?! Are you pregnant?" 

What? Couldn't be possible. You were on the pill. You shook your head. 

"Margo… I'm on the pill… I can't…"

"Are you sure? Didn't miss a day? I recognize the signs I have a kid."

"No..no… I took it . Even…" 

You froze. Did you? When you had received the news of Simon's death. When you had given up on working or when you had met them on field. Did you take it? Now doubt settled in. Heading towards the stalls you questioned yourself. Through the whole test you tried to remind yourself if you had missed something. 

You walked out putting down the test, waiting. 

"Listen it's ok."

"No… it's not. Melissa just died. I need to find Amy. We didn't talk about kids with Simon. How will he even react if that test is positive?!"

Panic swept you like a tidal wave. The nausea was back. 

"Ok, just breathe Y/N. Whatever happens you are not alone. We are going to find Amy ok? " Margo comforted you.

"Honestly… I don't think Simon will back down. He's not that type of man." Soap added in a serious tone. 

"I'm not scared of that johnny… but I don't want to force him into something he doesn't want." 

Margo reached for the test, and you looked away. Soap looked down with her. 

"What does it mean?" Soap questioned. 

You found the courage to look at them, Margo looking up at you. 

"It's positive." 

Leg bouncing, you kept staring at the screen. Riley put his head on your leg, trying to soothe you. You were so close to getting them. So close. Thoughts kept running around in your head. You'd throw glances at Simon when he wasn't looking. Positive. The test was positive. How could you tell him? Especially right now? You wanted to find Amy and bring her home. That's all you wanted. 

"Bunny…" 

You shivered, looking up. His hand rose to your cheek, eyes filled with worry. 

"You alright?" 

You didn't know what to answer. No. You weren't. You were angry, sad, worried… happy. You were feeling too much. 

"I'm… tired. I want Amy here." You let out in a whisper. 

He dropped to a crouch in front of you, getting to your eye level. He held both of your hands. 

"I'm going to find her. I'll bring her to us. I give you my word." 

His gaze was intense. Feral. Angry, possessive, determined. You felt yourself melt, but you needed to test the waters. 

"We're going to have a kid running around the house." 

He took a deep breath. 

"Yes we will." 

"Simon… this is my responsibility… you don't have to-" 

"You think I'll run away? Do you think so low of me?" He looked hurt. 

"No! No… it's not what I meant. It's just… we didn't discuss this." 

"I don't need to discuss. Amy is as important to me as she is to you." He explained, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

"I'll be there for my princesses." 

You smiled. You wanted to tell him. You wanted to. But you were frozen. This was so much already. So much. How could you just let out that he was going to be a father. More than just a father figure to Amy. 

"FOUND THEM!" 

Both of your heads snapped towards car keys. 

"Richard ?!" You yelled. 

"Sending location right now!! Grim help me keep track!!" 

"I'm on it!" 

"I'll get on it too!" Liz added. 

"Gear up! Let's go!" Price ordered. 

Simon dropped a hurried kiss on top of your head before rushing out. You stood up, you and bishop following them. 

Everyone hurried up the stairs, Kate joining near the humvees. 

"We got accepted to intervene. Try to get as few casualties as possible and less chaos. Just bring the kid back." Kate explained as the team was finishing up, boys getting in the humvee, Riley following. 

Simon brought you to his arms, foreheads connecting. 

"Bring her back… please bring her back Simon…" 

"I promise. I will." 

You smiled at him as he separated. 

"Guess I'm gonna have to step up as a father now." He teased, a hint of a smile on his face. 

"Oh you already told him?!" Soap rang from the window of the humvee. You frowned before opening your eyes wide. 

"Can't fucking WAIT to be an uncle! I mean a pregnant woman and a child around the house is going to be-" 

Simon's head snapped back to Soap, eyes wide in shock. You were hyperventilating. Margo hugged your shoulders. Trying to calm you down. Simon turned to you, eyes wide in shock. Soap slowly returned inside of the humvee, pretending to not exist as he realized he fucked up. 

"What..?" Simon asked, eyes shifting to your stomach. 

You opened your mouth but you froze. What could you say? 

"I… I'm going to find Amy." He simply added, turning around before getting into the humvee. 

You wanted to cry again. Unsure if you could even do it, after all the crying of the last 16 hours. 

"Hey. I'll make sure you guys talk. I won't let him run away." 

You turned to price, nodding slightly before he also rushed to the humvee. 

Did he hate you? Was he angry? God. Too many life changing events in the couple of hours. 

"Come on. Let's get back to the conference room. We got to help them. Take your mind off of it for now." 

You took a deep breath, a few tears running down your cheeks. You nodded heading towards the building.

Pacing back and forth you took deep breaths. Your mind tried to rewind through the day's events. Two hours had passed since the boys left. Your friend… was killed. Her daughter was kidnapped. You were now the child's legal guardian. You were pregnant. You were pregnant. 

"Oh god…" you let out, letting yourself lean forward on the table. 

"Everything's going to be alright…" grim assured you. 

"I'm pregnant…" you repeated, more to yourself than anything. 

"What?" Car keys asked. 

"She's … pregnant." Bishop added. 

"Oh my god! That's amazing!" Liz claimed happily. 

You looked up. The team was beaming. Smiles and happy expressions surrounded you. Congratulations and warm praises sent your way. Yes. It was good news. Right? Not only will you be Amy's legal guardian, though the circumstances are horrible… but you're going to be a mother. 

You wanted Simon. You needed him. You just wanted to see him walk in, Amy in his arms. 

"Boy or girl?" Bishop asked. 

"Excuse me?" You blinked. 

"I say boy!" Car keys added. 

"Nah. Girl." Liz added. 

"I agree with Liz. Girl." Grim chimmed in.

"Guys…" you tried. 

The lighthearted conversation could almost make you forget the horror the last day had been. 

"You think we'll have a little sparrow or a little ghost running around?" Grim asked. 

A little ghost… a little Simon. The idea made your heart melt. Oh god. You were falling in love with the idea. But you couldn't. Not yet. It was… too early. You couldn't think of it now. 

The door slammed open, making everyone jump. 

"They're back." Kate announced in a stern voice. 

You ran. You flew out the door. The stairs were jumped two by two. You vaguely heard Kate tell you to slow down, that you were going to fall. Fortunately, you didn't. Everyone on the way just stepped away. The sun was almost blinding. The humvee came to a stop, price and gaz hopping out. Soap and Konig followed before finally. Finally. Simon appeared, a small frame in his arms. 

You let out something that resembled a cry of relief and pain. Amy saw you, her rosy cheeks soaked with tears. Little arms extended to you. You immediately took her in your arms, holding her close. 

"I'm so sorry… so sorry… I'm right here princess." You let out in between hushed cries. 

Feeling two arms surround you, you looked at Simon, his eyes stuck on you. 

"Thank you…" 

His gaze softened. 

"I gave you my word." 

You smiled up at him, a hint of smile under his mask. The team stood not too far, warm looks and heavy hearts. Simon suddenly tensed. 

"You did good captain."  

The voice made you freeze. Hopkins. You spun around, still holding the little girl close. You frowned, looking at the woman in a suit next to him. Kate frowned, stepping in front of you. 

"General?" She questioned. 

"This is Miss Kenneth. She's a social worker for-" 

"No." You interrupted. "I have legal guardianship, Amy isn't going anywhere." 

Riley growled next to you. Simon grew furious. 

"The documents will have to be checked, if you do have guardianship she'll be back in no time." The woman explained with a soft smile that made you sick. 

"No. You don't understand." Simon growled. "She's not going anywhere." 

"Lieutenant -" Hopkins started. 

"Kate. Get me on a meeting with the secretary. Right now." 

Was it the pregnancy? The fact you had lost too much. The threat in Hopkins's voice when he called your man's rank? Perhaps the way the little blond curls hugged you tightly, terrified. 

"Sparrow." 

"No. You're done." You spat. 

You walked away, everyone following you, Riley at your side, on alert. You felt incredibly thankful, for the way everyone surrounded you, making sure to shield you and Amy. Simon's hand rested on your lower back, never leaving. 

"I'll go get the jeep." Simon whispered into your ear. 

You nodded, feeling him walk away. Price and soap followed him, getting their own cars. You stood, waiting, with the rest of the team surrounding you. Amy sniffled in your arms. 

"Ma..mama…" 

You felt yourself break inside. The little voice filled with hiccups. 

"I know… I'm… I'm here my love." 

"You… stay?...pwomise?" 

"Oh baby. Forever. Me and Simon. I promise." 

The black jeep flew into view, before coming to a sudden stop. Two cars following right behind. 

"Go home. I'll take care of things here." Kate said, already typing on her phone. 

"I'll help. Everyone go." Price added. 

You didn't need another word. Simon opened the car as you sat down, Amy still in your arms. Riley jumped in the back before Simon sat back down at the driver's seat. 

"We're going home. It's ok darling…" you hushed the little girl. 

She sat on your lap, getting her head out of your neck for the first time. The blond curls were tangled, blue eyes filled with tears, rosy cheeks. Her little hand held onto your shirt tightly, as if you were going to vanish. She looked at Simon, as he glanced at her, she extended one of her hands. He gave her his, her hand holding his pinky finger. 

You remained like this, driving off and heading home. 

The evening was stretching out. The sun was lowering itself in the sky. You sat down in your chair, in the corner of your room, looking at the little girl sleeping in your bed. You had given her a bath, made her eat, soap and bishop had rushed back to Melissa's house getting clothes, toys, and other necessities. The little girl slept soundly, a little raggedy plush in her arms. 

You turned your head to the silhouette at the door gaining your attention. Simon stood, mask off, looking at you and the little girl. He has showered too, switching to gray sweatpants and tshirt. He walked to you slowly, taking a seat in your desk chair, making it roll towards you. 

"How are you feeling..?" He whispered. 

"I… I'm a mess." You answered honestly in a hushed tone. 

He grabbed your hand, rubbing it in between both of his. 

"I… I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Melissa's gone…" 

"I know… it's… it was really sudden." 

You wanted to laugh, but you held back, not wanting to wake the child. 

"Sudden? Everything was sudden in the past few 24h. Melissa and Amy being kidnapped… Melissa… is gone. I'm… pregnant. Fuck…" 

You let your head fall, hand falling over your eyes. 

"Hey… breathe. Let's talk this out." 

You looked up at him. 

"How did it happen? Aren't you on the pill?" He asked. 

You frowned. 

"I'm not putting the blame. There's no blame. It takes two to make a kid… and it's not like we don't do it…"

Hushed voice were heard, you glanced at the door, gaz and soap waving and looking angrily at Simon. You frowned. 

"Hum… they're supposed to be here for morale support.." he whispered, looking confused. 

Price appeared in a flash, grabbing the two man by the collar before pulling them back. He reached for the door handle, closing it with a soft smile your way. You bit your lip. You wanted to laugh. You needed a deep breath to finally get your head back into the very serious discussion you were having. 

"I forgot about it. My pill, I mean. When… i received the news that… you've been KIA… i kinda broke down for a few days, including the trip on the field." 

He listened carefully, still holding your hand. His features seemed to have softened. He did look panicked, although less as you spoke. 

"I think… the… bath we took together…" you blushed. You remembered that moment. The love making in the tub, holding each other close. Feeling all the relief to be back together. 

"Yeah. Probably." He grinned. 

You rolled your eyes softly. 

"Listen. My father… was not a good man. He was. Horrible. Abusive." 

Your other hand reached his, now holding them together. 

"I always thought. I would never be able to be a father. Because I never had a good example. I… was scared." He continued. 

"I understand… I don't think you'd be a bad father at all. I see the way you act with Amy… but, what made you change your mind?" 

"Price. I realized I did have some kind of father figure example. And… a very good one." 

You melted, letting your head fall to the side. One of his hands rose to your cheek, thumb softly caressing the skin. 

"I… will do everything, to be a good father. To be the best for you. Amy. And… the baby…" 

You felt tears prickle in your eyes. 

"I know you will… I trust you with everything." 

He smiled. Soft cries made you jolt up, Simon immediately rising to his feet. Turning to the little girl, squirming in her sleep you rushed with him to her side. 

"Hey.. hey… monkey, we're here…" you softly hushed her. 

Her blue eyes blinked open, already glossy with tears. She extended two little hands towards you and Simon, each of you holding it as you laid down next to her. 

"It's alright princess. No one will ever touch you again." Simon murmured to her. 

She cuddled up to him as you felt your heart ready to burst. Yes… he'll be an amazing father. 

---

ok first of all... i'm sorry

second of all, we are getting dangerously close to the ending... and i would like to thank you guys.

[anteroom-of-death]

Yayo

Synopsis: Gideon Shepherd wastes a life or two over a girl.

A/N: thanks to @lex144 for inspiring me to not give up. Will be a 2 parter/prequel. Dark fic time. Sorry for no publishing of all .... burn out. Listen to the unreleased version of Lana del Rey while reading.

How many times must he repeat the same life, the same lie, over and over again? How many times could he go through the exact same suffering and the exact same thwarting of evils in this world?

Gideon, in his sixties, again, having a cup of tea in an inconspicuous tea shop, mused. He’d just stopped a plane crash he had stopped dozens, if not hundreds of times. He was losing count. Losing control.

He knew it was only a matter of time before he was locked back up, dressed in red with those detectives again. Bargaining with the girl, Lucy. Trying to make her understand her son and him. Each time it seemed a tad more futile.

He tied the bag’s string around his finger like he’d done with that red one in that room. Repetitive and simple as always. Perhaps even a nervous tic.

He’d always die, just before total lucidity. It was annoying. And it just added more into his already over-crammed skull. He felt bursting at the seams. Almost like he had multiple brains.

Preposterous!

He admitted that in this particular cycle he’d been a little more neglectful of his needs. More rash. Less calculated…It was getting worse each time. More world-saving. Less keeping himself intact to save it.

He had to change all of this. Maybe take a breather. He’d still stick to his schedule from thousand lives past. This time, it would be difficult, just infinitesimal.

He even had been to this little tea shop every single time. Exactly the same day, the same time. He had observed people casually. Not much to do with anything…

Everyone was safe by his calculations.

The slouched-over nervous girl was going to accidentally water board herself with her drink in a few seconds.

On cue, her little iced coffee spilled. She sighed, seemingly looked up, as if beckoning a favor from God. She grabbed a napkin and went to wipe herself and the ground up.

In an echo of so many times previously, “Nothing comes easy, does it?” She muttered and slouched into her knees. She started to scrub a particular big stain in the making on her floral skirt with her spit.

It was probably incoherent to anyone who didn’t hear it or know to hear it time and time again.

She eventually pulled herself off the ground, her hip cracked. The slit in the side rode up, accidentally flashing the grey panties she wore…

Suddenly he felt like focusing in on her.

Maybe next cycle he’d offer to help her.

For now he got up and offered her his napkin. A small smile spread on his face.

“I have a spare coat in my boot…you can cover it up, keep it.” He offered another shiny object.

He didn’t know what exactly started coming over him. It was carnal, primal. Effervescent even. She obviously suffered from some self-confidence issues. Despite her bold outfit choices. Her large earrings clanked against her necklaces. Skittish. Unsure.

It made him incredibly hard.

He hadn’t allowed himself any pleasure, just the continuous pursuit of justice. In his own way. The only way that was dramaturgically correct he felt. He had to be the one to make it happen. The cops were as much as complicit as sometimes perpetrators.

“Go to the toilets and freshen up, yeah?” He instructed her plainly. The pit of the toll of all his dark deeds starting fray him like the trim of her denim jacket that seemed slightly too small.

He forced himself out to the car and popped the boot. He grabbed the aforementioned coat.

He walked back into the shop just she exited the loo.

She sniffled and saw the coat. It was black, utilitarian. Nothing special.

“Thanks.” The smile was weak, she still was obviously reeling from her previous remark of nothing coming easy. However, it was genuine. She was thankful and seemed placated by the action.

“I’ll…get another coffee.” She remarked as she tied the thing around her waist.

He couldn’t help but notice it hung sensually around her hips. Accented the torso and her tits in a weird way. How would it be to bite them? Mar them with his teeth?

“Why don’t you join me?” He offered.

“I can’t.” She frowned, a line developing in her still somewhat-young forehead that didn’t go away when her face relaxed moments earlier. It was fully etched in.

How lovely was it that such a nervous wreck had somehow made it this far in life? To see such a line. Pity it was there in the first place.

Such a contradiction…

She got her new coffee.

He still felt incredibly urged to take her and hide her away. Stop her from herself and her own nervous nature.

The proverbial butterfly was stepped on, who knew what was in store now…

Next cycle, he remarked to himself as he got into his car and drove off. He had to complete this. Make the Lucy woman understand. Die, come back. Same shot, different day…

His cock still remained at attention. The depraved thoughts still rung in his thoughts.

×××××

Here he was, back at the tea shop. She was walking in. Here was his chance!

He’d fantasized about this chance for decades now. Ever since the first rush of teenage hormones rushed into his body. Again.

She walked in, her tote bag swinging.

Only one chance. He could blow it, hypothetically. But this opportunity was literally once in a lifetime. No matter how many he’d been allowed. (Or cursed with depending on current emotions and outlook…)

He knew the pitfalls of approaching a woman and making oneself known. It came off predatory. Not that he wasn’t predating her, in more than one sense of rationale, or definition. Was there any good, wholesome way to approach her and her grey panties? He’d killed enough rapists to merit knowing what they liked.

And yet, here he was entering his era of perversion.

He firmly believed he had to liberate her from herself. Somehow.

Never one for true romance, even in the first time he seemingly entered the cycle, he lingered unsure.

He got up and made a show of asking for extra napkins.

One word, one small line would disrupt this. She’d not spill her drink, and he’d garner an actual chance with her.

“Those are some lovely necklaces.” He tried for a bit off a soft entrance.

She touched the tangled mass of gold on her neck, “Oh! Thanks!” Her left hand went to fiddle with some of the pendants on a few of them. The free thumb rested on one of those comically-large hoops.

She placed her order and went down to fight for her life to find her pocketbook.

“No worries,” Gideon assured, “I’ve got it.” The fiver, easily produced from his jacket pocket.

“Oh?” She flashed a befuddled, nervous half-grin at him. “What do I owe you?”

“Nothing.”

She shook her head. “Thanks so much!”

He felt moved to go back to his seat. He didn’t know exactly what to do to go from here.

Something told him to just toss her in the boot and drive off. Or perhaps, to lure in promising safe travels to wherever she was headed.

The darkness rubbed off so easily.

The toll of a billion lifetimes.

He remembered some parable of a little bird and a rock. Something about a boy saying something about it being ‘One hell of a bird…’

He sucked on the options. They all weighed heavy on his heart and his conscience.

He ultimately chose the less devious of them all.

Just asking.

He saw her go to pick up her drink. Would she spill it? He half-wished to see. See of the actions interrupted the truth of time. Such a small gesture maybe would provide her a sense of calm? Could it? Would it?

He started to rise yet again from his seat, and she spilled it anyways.

A flash of grey panties, a mutter again about nothing being easy for her, her spine twisting into a serpentine knot. Her lovely skirt and top stained.

He offered her a clutch of napkins. Then repeated last life’s offers.

“Are you my guardian angel? Or something?” She asked. “First paying for my latte, now this?”

Fate must have been sick to give her him if she thought he was an angel. Even in a semi-facetious manner. Sure, he was on the side of angels, in a sense. However he was far from celestial. Mortal, frequently.

He went out, produce the jacket. Came back. She tied it.

He offered to pay for her replacement- “On caveat you join me, an old man for a bit of a chat on a slow day.” He went for the genteel route.

She involuntarily shook herself, her eyes blinking rapidly.

She looked at her phone’s clock.

“Sure. Why not? Only five minutes, yeah?”

She sat at his table and they chatted. Her name was (y/n), she was (insert your age, reader) and she was between jobs. The drink went much easier down now that she was sat. Gravity and natural klutziness weren’t fighting her here.

The way she placed her elbows on the table further accentuated her heaving chest. Despite her current state, she seemed to breathe a little harder than Gideon suspected someone should.

Maybe her baseline anxiety messed around with her rhythms.

Gideon gave her the most basic and innocent of responses. Just enough information to tantalize. Keep it light, keep it friendly, he chided himself over and over again…

She glanced over at her phone and saw the time…she excused herself and left. Thanking him for everything.

She even brushed both of his cheeks with a small, friendly, definitely foreign kiss on each.

The door bashed her on her way out and she tripped on her way over the bus stop across the street. She put in her headphones and leaned against the pole marking it.

He felt them burn in response. His cock stayed as hard as rosewood.

He regretted not getting her number.

Or he could follow her discreetly. Put in what he learned from men worse than him by a thousand-fold into practice. Keep her somewhere safe, where she couldn’t be harmed by anyone, let alone herself.

Yes, that would be fine. He would just be looking after her best interests? Correct?

Correct.

He waited a moment and trailed his way to his car.

The bus pulled up, she went in. He turned his car on. A simple game of cat and mouse. If the cat were ever so interested in the mouse’s uninterrupted survival…

Or perhaps, did he not want her to meet a darker end at anyone else’s hand but his? His thoughts kept delving deeper. Were these dark, frankly barbarous images his fantasies regarding this (Y/N)? Or just fears?

He did notice from their brief conversation that she did have some scar tissue around her wrists. So even if he did very into these mental images, it would probably be for her betterment. They were obviously self-inflicted.

He felt himself grow more and more irrational. There was something burning in his chest. An itch that maybe he’d scratch just this life. Then the next, go about, offer her the basic kindness of the jacket and go.

If he was doomed to repeat every sinful day of every sinful life, what was one slip up? He’d done so well before.

He was trying so hard.

Yes, why not?