#GOD this got long but uhhh. heres your daily dose of marbles qcharlie thoughts

[razberrypuck]

trying to decipher how qcharlie feels abt qmariana and honestly I DO think he still loves him. I DO think he still cares about him. when roier brought up mariana wanting charlie there when he logged on again, charlie (though he didn't really believe roier at first) liked the idea, and begged roier not to make him sound too desperate or into the idea simply because charlie isn't sure where their relationship is at right now. he does care about her, still -- but with flippa coming back into his life, it resurfaced a lot of feelings charlie buried a long time ago.

because he never forgave mariana for their daughters' deaths. or for how absent he believed she was in flippa's life. or for how absent she's been, when charlie needed her support. he understands flippa's deaths were accidental. he understands that mariana was more present than charlie made him out to be. he understands that mariana never meant to hurt him by vanishing into thin air. but he never forgave him for it. after the trial, he just ignored it, because flippa's back and she wants her parents to get along and that's all that matters. after flippa's last death, after the funeral, he pushed it all down as deep as he could because mariana needed him. mariana was all he had. and finally, finally things were going well between them -- why would he bring up all that pain and hurt? why would he acknowledge it, hurt mariana all over again, when she's the only thing he had left TO care about?

I mean, just the way he was talking about mariana during the "trust" stream was more bitter than it has been in a long time. the same man who wordlessly put mariana's axe up on his wall, next to their daughter's first knife -- twice, he went off on a tirade, calling mariana his bitch fucking cheating ass whore wife, and asked roier not to tell him about flippa. because no matter how much he cares about mariana, charlie doesn't trust her.

flippa being back has dragged up a LOT of feelings that charlie has refused to process up until this point, and that's why his opinions on mariana flipped so suddenly. now flippa's back, and now all that anger he felt, everything that drove him to lashing out at all the other eggs after flippa's first death; all of his previous behavior that made the other islanders dislike him, that he "grew out of" through months of near-total isolation -- now that's coming back, too. slowly, slowly bubbling to the surface, out of desperation to protect his daughter. yes, he's happy, but he's also paranoid. he's more than willing to interrupt sidebars that he thinks are about his daughter, or conversations others are having with her. he threatens those he believes may want to do her harm. he picks up on a lot more than other islanders think he does. because he doesn't give a shit about what these people think of him. he has his daughter back. he doesn't need to cling to these people to feel wanted, to feel loved. he doesn't need to cling to his and mariana's relationship.

does he care about his friends? his missing nieces and nephews? his spouse? absolutely.

he just cares about flippa more.