#GOD DAMN FISH MARRIAGE

[judasgot-it]

Happy Birthday

I'm throwing almonds at him in my mind <3 Also, idgaf if it's not August 3rd, it's August 3rd somewhere in the world....

Also, this was going to be part of an arranged marriage au but I've kinda scrapped it. so this is just kinda there now lol.

It's been twenty-seven years since Kaldo was born. Today, you were planning on making him a cake he would actually enjoy, and not one he would shovel into his face in front of his family and guests as he pretended to enjoy it.

The man was born powerful and wealthy. He had everything.

What he didn't have, was the free choice over his own birthday cake.

He was almost thirty, and he never even had a choice in it. He didn't even have a choice in being engaged to you, or his job - honestly, the only thing he seemed to have a choice over might have been his strange love of honey.

Maybe you were born lucky with your low status. You had chosen to climb to the top, and got to marry a wealthy man mostly by choice.

Now you got to spoil him with a birthday cake - by your own choice.

He had once mentioned once to you before, offhandedly, that he had really loved gelatinous fish cake - of course, topped with honey. One of the stranger combinations he had made, and one cake that he had always wanted to try again, but was banned from bringing into his family home.

For good reason, you supposed. It seemed a little...gross. Honestly, it was one of the first times you had ever disliked one of his strange food tastes.

But it was a cake. And it was his birthday.

He would get to eat that damn cake. Social rules be damned.

It wasn't really easy finding a place that even made the cake. The man must have visited hell itself in order to try the delicacy, because you had only found one cook in the local area who even knew what it was.

It frankly looked disgusting when you laid eyes on it, and it looked horrible as it sat on your breakfast table. But it wasn't for you - it was for the man sitting in front of you, staring at you as if you were as strange as the cake itself.

And really, is it even a cake? There's no frosting, and it's fucking fish for god's sake. In gelatin. Who would even think of such a thing?

"Is this for me?"

Kaldo's voice was weak, his usual airy tone nearly lost in the shock that was slapped across his face. His crimson eyes were boring holes at you, and it was frankly a little disturbing.

"...Yes. You said you had liked it before, and I thought it would be nice to get it for you. I know you don't like regular cake that much."

He was a freak, really. The man would rather put his sweet honey on anything that didn't go with it. Cake would be a reasonable match, but instead, coffee and raw fish were his preferred mixups.

How strange.

"I did. I did mention that, didn't I." The man took the fork set out just for him, taking a bite of the cake as if it were a delicacy. His face was practically spread open in a wide grin, ear to ear as he slowly chewed on it.

This was the most you had ever seen him enjoy a cake. The one at his last birthday party had him in near tears from how much he had hated the flavor - chocolate, without any honey to subside the pain of putting it in his mouth.

But Kaldo was practically drooling as he dug into his sad little cake. He had taken to pouring a rich honey on it, as if it would make a difference in the texture of fish and gelatin.

"Do you," It was stupid to ask, given that he was nearly done destroying the disgusting dish. His face was smeared with honey and pieces of fish, and you only smiled back as a stupid grin spread across his face. "Do you like it? Sorry if it's not the gift you expected."

You made him walk all the way to your home for it. On his birthday as well.

Frankly, you were a rather horrible wife-to-be.

"If I were to be honest..." Kaldo put down his fork, looking down at the remaining pieces of his cake. It was more like a soup now, as his took the prongs of his tool and played with the pieces that remained.

"...I think this is the best birthday gift I've ever received."

"Is it really?"

The lily-haired man nodded, his bangs somehow spared from the mess that was spread across his face. He looked like a bear that had found a beehive, and with the smile he wore, it was obvious that he felt like a winner.

"You know? We need this at our wedding. It's a really good cake."

"What?"

This was the first time Kaldo had ever mentioned something like that. The man was rather silent about those things - as far as you knew, he had only agreed to marry you because it was a good tax write-off for the both of you.

"If you want it, sure. We'll have two cakes." You wanted to be a good wife, really.

"...Really?"

"Why not? It's your wedding too."

It was subtle, a barely noticeable detail in the character he portrayed to you. But his shoulders relaxed, his spine deflating from the stiff posture he kept at all times. His arms leaned against the table, and his neck rolled around to lean to the side.

It looked as if he truly relaxed for once in his life.

"...Yeah. Why not indeed."

I'm lowkey just writing whatever the fuck I want rn, Kaldo is just my muse rn.

[themostlesbianever]

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN ALL MY 9-1-1 THOUGHTS IN ONE POST

(i forgot to do this until the tommy started talking about how his ex ran off with someone half her age)

- okay but we knew maddie would want another kid

- i predicted it

- NO WAY TOMMY DO NOT SAY IT

- TOMMY IS NOT ABBYS EX

- NO

- FUCKING

- WAY

- OH MY LORD THEY ACTUALLY DID IT

- bless you

- bless you

- damn

- OH MY LORD THERE GOES HIS INTESTINES

- hihi spilled his guts

- ahw ur shirt is ruined☹️

- hen screentime crumbs😋

- i will eat up every single hen screentime crumb i can get

- (every screentime crumb where she is at peace/happy)

- that is crazy maddie

- HOW MANY MEN SHE TURNED GAY😭😭😭

- hihi josh fishing for tea

- i love josh the gossip magnet

- oh now buck is doubting tommy

- lets not

- oh buck baby

- so i think tommy had a gf just to have one, like because of his surroundings and shit, but its good he broke it off before marriage, he definitely should have before an engagement tho

- also i just KNOW people are gonna throw shit at tommy for this and im not excited

- the dreaded c word care

- "i CARE about good sole support"- hen (i think that was the line)

- JOSH I LOVE YOU

- oh josh babe you are so right

- YES JOSH

- SINGLE HANDEDLY ENDING TOMMY HATRED

- well people are still gonna hate but like, hes so right

- tommy had it so much harder and did things to protect himself he definitely isn't proud of and now it looks bad because a lot of people dont have to do tjose things to protect themselves anymore

- "do you want me to read you a story" oh maddie i love you

- not 9-1-1 but someone is setting off HELLA fireworks and its not even fully dark yet

- i HATE fireworks, yeah theyre pretty but theyre torture for ao many wild animals AND me

- back to 9-1-1

- did it almost kill maddie??

- oh wait yes, not the pregnancy and birth but after

- oops sorry maddie

- hard times for madney😔

- STOP CHIM NO MAKING ME CRY

- uh oh maddie is worrying

- RIPPED TANK TOP EDDIE

- YOURE SO GAY EDDIE

- OMG HOT PASTOR

- FUCK BUDDIE I NEED EDDIE x HOT PASTOR

- "no offence im straight" BOY!!?!????

- no you aint

- yes father but he could be your daddy

- IM SO SORRY I CANT SAY THAT

- oh god therapy time

- yea eddie you dont feel worthy of juice

- very handsome moustache

- OH MY GOD IS EDDIES MOUSTACHE GONNA BURN OFFF??

- PLEASE PUT IT ON FIRE JUST ENOUGH SO IT CANT BE SAVED

- "do" something that makes you feel joy, how about DO a man and make some realisations about yourself babes

- WORM

- would you still love me if i was a worm

- dont be a baby man he is a baby

- jack😔

- "a billion tons" STOP THATS ADORABLE

- eddie you are NOT going down a pipe again

- YES LITTLE MAN

- whats with this season and little hero boys

- they actually put a kid down the pipe omg

- please actually save this kid my lord this is stressful

- GET HIM

- YOU CAN DO IT MILES

- WORM

- WE ARE WORMS

- BE A WORM

- HELL YEAH

- chim is 100% telling maddie he wants another kid now

- hen you are adorable oh my lord

- tommy ur so adorable

- uh oh

- UH OH

- this has got to be the hurdle

- HES THE HIMBO

- that is SO crazy

- look at them being all open and having a cute little talk

- UNTIL NOW

- IS THIS AN I LOVE YOU MOMENT??????

- ahw tommy

- WOAH

- HELLO MOVE IN YES

- MORE GAY

- oh youre doing to much buck

- so sweet

- OH

- TOMMY STOP WHAT

- it is new

- tommy youre very right actually you are his first

- tommy is actually so right because buck is moving too fast

- buck isnt ready himself like he figured out he was bi like a week ago (not literally)

- WHAT NO YOU DIDNT

- god damn it the bucktommy haters got what they wanted

- fuck off so many buddie fans are gonna be so miserable and annoying

- OH HE CALLED HIM BUCK

- i hope we get to see more tommy

- like he comes back sometimes for a rescue or for advice for chimney or something

- WOAH CHIM NO TALKING ABOUT DEATH OVER HERE

- maddies eyebrows are so expressive i love it

- OMG WE KNEW THIS

- PERGANT

- BOMB

- ahw cuties

- OMG MIRROR SCENE

- they gave us literally like everything weve been talking about

- oh eddie what are you doing

- PLEASE MAKE CHRIS COME HOME AND WALK IN ON THIS

- wait no that would mean more trauma

- this man is CRAZY

- someone has a GOT to walk in on this no?

- oh maybe buck being all sad like "my hot boyfriend broke up with me☹️"

- i really hope IF they make buddie happen they dont do it yet, maybe next season because its too soon for both of them to be dating

- no walking in but there is someone there

- eddie put on some pants man

- it is sad buck

- ☹️

- i am not excited for all those insufferable buddie fans/ bucktommy haters to come and hate on tommy for every single line he said

[it-was-too-cold-always]

Always Read the Fine Print Chapter 4

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Who actually reads all the terms and conditions? After mindlessly checking a box years ago, our Reader unintentionally agrees to be part of a scientific study to create super soldier babies. To make matters worse, her fellow test subject is the brooding and intimidating Bucky Barnes.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky gets stitched up, the reader struggles to keep her thoughts in check, and the happy couple moves into their new home.

Warnings: arranged marriage, forced proximity, eventual smut, lots of angst, violence

You sat and watched as the nurse dug the bullet out of Bucky's shoulder. He wouldn't look at you. His thousand-yard stare was directed straight at the door, barely a grimace on his face as the nurse fished inside his flesh. You, however, were shamelessly staring at him. His shirt was off, covered in blood and discarded on the floor. He was RIPPED. Like six-pack abs ripped. His whole torso looked packed with muscle. You admired his ridiculously large bicep, eyes then floating over towards his metal arm. Jesus christ, you thought, those scars are nasty. Your stomach did flips as you imagined what he had to go through to get those scars. He was incredibly still, not even a flinch as she dug around in the bullet hole. That had to hurt like a bitch, you thought. As if he could read your thoughts, he stole a glance over at you. For half of a second, you made eye contact. Just as quickly as it came, his eyes darted back to the door in front of him. Goddamn, it was unnerving. You blushed heavily, suddenly extremely aware that you had been staring at him and probably looked really stupid. You failed to get fully dressed like Bucky told you to. You succeeded at putting your leggings on, but you were still wearing the hospital gown on top. You sheepishly held your bra and shirt in your lap, unsure what else to do. You fixed your eyes to the floor after that.

"Aha! There we go!" the nurse exclaimed, coupled with the sound of the bullet clinking onto a metal tray. She started patching him up, humming while she worked. Read the frickin room, you thought. The air was suffocating with tension. There were agents all over the place, taser batons at the ready. Bucky was obviously pissed off, and you were...you weren't sure what you were. Scared, a little embarrassed, worried, a little flattered? Bucky risked getting in trouble to break you out. That had to mean he cared at least a little, right?

"Alright bud, you're good to go," the nurse said as she finished placing the last piece of tape on the gauze. You almost snorted. Bucky being called "bud." This nurse really was something else. Once she moved towards cleaning up, an agent came up to Bucky with a black t-shirt. "She wants to talk," he said. You couldn't help yourself, you stole another look at his incredible muscles as he slipped the t-shirt over his head. Good lord, he really was something. Quit drooling, you chastised yourself. You have the horniest thoughts at the worst times. But you couldn't help wondering what those muscles would feel like under the palms of your hands.

Bucky was escorted to god knows where, meanwhile you were left alone in the exam room. Was anyone going to come get you? After a while of waiting, you decided it was safe enough to fully change back into your clothes. With all the chaos, you forgot about cramping you felt after the IUD removal, but now you felt it in full force. Right as you were contemplating crawling into the fetal position on the floor, Bucky came through the door.

“We’re leaving,” he stated, not bothering to even look in your direction. Too flustered to trust your voice (you knew it would be squeaky and embarrassing), you silently got up and timidly walked towards him. He gestured for you to walk past, holding the door for you. He led you down to a garage. You struggled to keep up with his pace. Those damn long sexy legs, you thought. From behind him, you could see his broad shoulders, trim waistline, and long ass legs. Not to mention his ass…those black pants looked phenomenal on him. Focus, you thought, you gotta keep up with him. Stop being weird.

He stopped in front of a black sedan, a very sexy, sleek car. He opened the door for you to get in the passenger seat. You timidly walked past him and sat in the seat. Buckling your seatbelt, you broke out in a cold sweat at the thought of going for a drive with Bucky. Do you make small talk? Sit in awkward silence? You knew you’d spend at least half the time debating which road to take.

He started driving out of the garage and onto the road. You noticed two black SUVs following behind. Probably babysitters to make sure Bucky doesn’t go ballistic again. You didn’t dare glance over at him. Not after all the blatant staring you did earlier. You decided to stare out the window and not open your mouth – you knew you’d start saying stupid shit and make a fool of yourself.

“They’re going to have two agents in the house at all times for the next couple of weeks. We’ll have to share the master bedroom, but don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the floor,” he spoke gruffly. His voice was deep and gravelly. You turned to look at him, but his eyes were glued to the road. You just nodded your head slowly, returning your gaze to the window. It was setting in how close in proximity you were about to be with him. Living in the same house. Sleeping in the same room.

You pulled onto a gravel driveway, a small farmhouse standing in front of you. It was cute. Light yellow with a big white porch. It reminded you of some picturesque cottage core mood board. Once the car came to a stop, your stomach did flips. Here we go.

Chapter 5

Taglist 💛

@kandis-mom @learisa @pono-pura-vida @smile1318 @stinkerbelle007

[rom-e-o]

After Wolf and Bess get together, at a "small" gala the Twins and girls attend, an old, pretty face from their past shows back up. Not Isabel or Belle. They would be welcomed.

Turns out, years ago when the Twins were in their 30s, Marley took on another apprentice. She was quite young, early-early 20s, smart, but more ambitious than anything. Like, so ambitious it was both an asset and flaw.

She didn't stay working for Marley long as she was snapped up quickly by even bigger bosses due to her talents, both in numbers but mostly in bed. Yeah, she's one of those people. Which I mean, get your bag, I guess? Can't say I agree with the methods, but as long as you're not hurting people, better for my mind to keep out of it. (Also, yeah, she most likely got her position with Marley by exchanging some favors.)

She was never romantically or sexually involved with the Twins. They were rebuffing advances hard and barely registering people's sexes by that stage. But she was definitely interested, and in Wolf especially. She did a lot of the street work with him, always opting to accompany him even if she had other duties in the office. Yes, she propositioned him. A lot. Again, he never bit. Honestly can't tell you if he even ever considered that she was being serious. Not very long after finally getting the vibe this thing was never going anywhere, she dipped and got taken on by a fish bigger than Marley.

Then, years later, she shows up at this party. Successful, married, well known, stunning and vibrant. She's got everything.

Now, when I say she's stunning, here's the thing: she and Bess resemble each other somewhat. Dark curls, dark eyes (this chick's eyes are almost black they're so dark brown), cool complexion, freckles (this girl only has a few cute ones over her nose and cheeks), full lips, hippy and bootylicious, taller than average. Except this woman is willowy and petite in frame as opposed to Bess' stout shieldmaiden-esque build. She's also busty. Not Connie levels, but she's got some spectacular girls to show off compared to Bess. Woman is the definition of a bombshell, especially showing up in the dress she does which may as well just be a few strips of luxurious cloth sewn together. (But damn if they don't fit her amazingly and look more glam than the dress Bess has on.)

She's also extremely bubbly in a self-centered and sexually charged way. She sees the boys, rushes them to embrace them, and is almost immediately yapping about her life while skillfully working in references about her exploits. ("Sammy?! Charlie?! Oh my God, how are you?! I haven't seen you two in... Bloody fuck, how long has it been? At least a dozen CEOs I've been under since Marley! Hahaha! Oh, boys, let's catch up, shall we? Have I got tales to tell you! Where should I start? Oh, I know! I'll start with my first marriage. I met my first husband on his honeymoon in Bora Bora, you know. Without his clothes, he wasn't much to look at, but that's what alcohol is for, yes? He wasn't much of a fuck either, honestly, but he certainly did open my eyes to some new things I went on to try with my second and third husbands.")

Btw, she does this while the girls are away for a moment in the powder room, so when they come back they're smacked in the face with a strange woman loudly regaling their men with a story of how her first orgy was, funnily enough, in a board room. ("It certainly changed my bar for how board meeting should be handled, I'll tell you that!") Adonis looks uncomfortable to say the least. Wolf, who definitely got used to this sort of sexual talk from this woman so many years ago, has the look of, "Yep, just another Tuesday".

The women are introduced. The interloper quickly latches onto Connie being Adonis' fiancée. ("So you're what could finally get him to open up and settle down. Ha! Never thought it possible! Tell me, Darling, what's Sammy like without his clothes on? The time I had trying to find out! I thought maybe they didn't come off; maybe they were permanently sutured to his skin!")

Bess is hardly given a "howdy-do". Wolf does introduce her as his sweetheart, of course, but it earns Bess a particularly but subtly chilling gaze from the interloper. ("Girlfriend? Oh, how nice. Such a cute little thing. Young too. Finally sowing those oats, ey, Charlie?")

As the night goes on, the interloper remains latched to the group, especially the boys, especially Wolf. Wolf is always beside Bess, of course; never bites at all the hooks the interloper throws out... but he doesn't really rebuff her either? He kind of just seems... oblivious to all of her passes and insinuations. To be fair, they can be hard to pick up sometimes as every other thing that comes out of this woman's mouth seems to be related to sex. (The group is painfully aware of how many marriages she's had--on her seventh--and what each one really liked to do in bed.)

At some point Bess goes to get a drink. Much to her annoyance, the interloper comes with. As they're at the refreshment table, a conversation is struck up.

"So. You and Charlie, hm?"

"Yes. Wolf and me."

"Wolf? Your pet name for him? Haha! That's cute! Did he get that from the bedroom scene?"

"Um, no. No, he's always been Wolf to me. Even when we were friends."

"Ah. So he's not a wolf in the sack then?"

"... I really don't think that's any of your business."

"Oh, come on, Love. We're both adult women here. You're a wannabe midwife--you're not exactly uneducated about the relationships between men and women. I tried to shag your Wolf for years and couldn't make him bat an eye, and now a cherubic little girl like you comes along and suddenly, not only is he shagging, he's calling you his "sweetheart". Do a fellow girl and favor and satisfy her curiosity."

"I'd rather not."

"... Oh. Oh, I see. You're one of those."

"One of those?"

"Yeah, one of those little prudes. The little prudes that call liberated women like me "whores" and "sluts" because they're jealous I can get men and action they can't."

"Maybe you get called those things because you seem thirsty for anything with a dick that walks on two legs and actively pursue taken men."

"Ah. So the little cherub does have some bite. All right. Maybe you're not a prude."

"Maybe I'm not."

"Maybe you're something worse. One of those pious little girls that's "saving herself for marriage". As if that's something to aspire to."

"Not that it's any of your business either, but I'm not waiting for marriage."

"No. But "somebody special", I'll bet. Or "when you feel ready"."

Bess can't say anything. That's exactly what she's waiting for, what she's making Wolf wait for.

"Ha. In that case, Charlie's definitely going to need a real woman to show him what a good time is tonight. Well, doesn't the universe work in mysterious ways."

"The universe or your assistant reading the guest list for this party?"

"What's it matter when such amazing opportunities arise?"

"Aren't you remarried? Like, newly?"

"Hahaha! Oh my, little frumpy cherub, haven't you learned anything about me tonight? Rings never stop me, whether they're his or mine."

"You honestly think you can make Wolf give you a second glance when I'm right there beside him?"

"He'll have to give me all the glances if you're not here, won't he?"

"What?"

With a quick look around to see if anyone is noticing, the interloper picks up the bowl of punch and just dumps it over Bess before she can even react. "Oh my god--I'm so sorry! Typical me--just can't control my intrusive thoughts sometimes. At least it's not a total loss--this look wasn't doing anything for you."

Bess can just stand in shock and boiling fury. She hasn't endured anything like this since high school. And maybe that's what sets her mindset back to make her react like she does from here on out.

"Go home, L&D nurse. Maybe your old Marley's daughter, but you and I both know you don't belong here. And you certainly don't belong with someone like Charlie."

And with that the interloper walks away back to rejoin the group.

Bess just runs after that. She doesn't think, she just leaves the gala without a word and catches a taxi back to the cottage. It's not until she's already on the way home she thinks to let the others know she's left, and it's only text messages that start coming in that makes her think of it.

Connie: ~Hey, are you okay? [Interloper] said you weren't feeling well and decided to leave? Do you want me to come home and help you?~

Wolf: ~Are you all right? [Interloper] said you were feeling ill and left. Do I need to come take you to a hospital?~

Bess just tells them not to worry and that she's fine, just going home early to rest, and they should stay at the party. After all, she doesn't want them to see her this way. And the interloper was right: She didn't belong back there. And who is she even kidding? She hardly belongs with Wolf either.

She finds the cottage, mercifully empty when she gets there (except for Sunshine, of course) and just strips down as she beelines for the bathroom, throwing her dress in the trash on the way. Bess doesn't know how long she sits in the shower, but the water is cold before she gets out. And she cries the entire time.

(Why do I keep dreaming up all these horrible scenarios for Bess while you give me nice ones for Connie?)

OHHH BESS. ;; Bess, Bess, I want to hug her so bad.

First of all, Interloper has done the impossible - she's at Karen levels of annoying. Now, we don't know if she's abusive like Karen, BUT from the sound of her, she sound like an emotionally and potentially physically manipulative bully to others.

It is INTERESTING how she looks similar to Bess, but she's still obviously jealous of Bess:

Bess is beautiful. They look alike, after all. They're built different, but both are womanly and gorgeous.

Bess is YOUNGER than her. She seems like the type of person that would be annoyed by that, especially since she can't buy time back. she even tries to demean Bess by calling her 'cute' or 'cherubic.' Bess is a younger woman, and it irks her.

Annnnnd finally, Bess has Wolf; the prize SHE wanted but could never get, even in the 'prime of her life.' Even when they look similar. He never chose her. That must eat her up.

The way she flutters up and gets insanely personal with the Twins SO quickly is beyond tone-deaf. Like, time and place! Also, when someone clearly isn't in to you, you GOTTA take a hint!

I picture the ladies coming back from the powder room and seeing this woman accosting the boys. Wolf looks unamused and Adonis looks uncomfortable.

Connie sees Adonis looking flustered and goes in to redirect the woman's attention and help. Connie reads and clocks her pretty quick, I'd imagine. Her comment about him undressing earns a chuckle, and not a friendly one.

"Well, [Interloper] it's much easier to get one out of their clothes when there is mutual interest in the whole affair. I assure you, my Adonis and I have no such concerns. He is positively sterling in ALL regards." As then kisses Adonis' cheek for good measure and smiles. Then she gives Bess a nervous glance. You know the look, it says "girlfriend, watch out for this one."

This woman's attitude and verbiage toward Bess would catch Wolf's attention. He picks up on her choice of words, and with eat passive-aggressive taunt earns a squeeze from Wolf. His lips even skim the crown of her head as he calls her "sweetheart."

I don't think Wolf stops the Interloper from following Bess to the drink table because, honestly, it doesn't don on him that this woman would go for Bess. He thinks, "I can ignore her, so can Bess." He might not realize immediately that women play a little dirty with each other, and that perhaps she has other goals.

THEN, the punch situation. I don't blame Bess for leaving, poor woman. just to ... escape it.

When Interloper comes back, red flags are everywhere.

"Where did Bess go?" Wolf asks her, his tone only slightly suspicious. He's more concerned.

"No clue," she shrugs. "Feeling sick, she said. Stomach bug. Poor girl. Oh, but don't you worry, Wolf-y. I'll keep you entertained."

Annnnd the sirens go off. She should NOT know that nickname. His brow furrows.

Connie and Wolf text her, but her message that she left provides little comfort. She's safe, but ... it's not right. Connie stares her down, her face a mask of doubt.

C: Interesting timing of her illness, all things considered.

I: Just what are you implying?

Meanwhile, Wolf is obviously antsy. Looking around. He looks out of sorts without his Brightness at his side.

Wolf: Something isn't right. ... Sammy, you're going to hate me for this, but-

Adonis: Charlie, go check on her. I'll handle any speeches if we're called on stage, and Connie and I will ... distract our friend. It shouldn't be hard.

Wolf gives his a thankful squeeze on the shoulder and darts out. He grabs a cab and makes a beeline for the cottage. As he arrives, he texts her to let her know he's on his way. I imagine he has a key by this point, but he's not going to just creep in.

Then, he calls and leaves a voicemail:

W: Brightness, it's me. I'm outside. I wanted to check on you. You left so suddenly. If you're sick, I'd much rather help you feel well than spend another second in that stuffy ballroom and hear [Interloper] talk about ... ugh, I apologize for her. If she did anything, I need you to tell me. I can If you get this, can you just ... let me know that you're really okay? You know what I mean.

A part of him hopes he's not being too smothering, but ... he has a feeling in his gut. And he means every word. No gala is worth attending without her company.

It's the DRAMA, the delicious hurt-comfort goodness!

Meanwhile: Interloper continues to be loud and obnoxious, all while Adonis and Connie chug champagne to tolerate her.

[octopodeez]

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐚���� 💍𝐖𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐆𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬💍

(feat. Shanks)

🍖Luffy: So bored during the ceremony and won’t stop FIDGETING. Flicks a booger or smthg at the minister just for funsies. Spends half the reception running around eating the leftovers from other guests’ plates. Has to be physically restrained from eating the entire wedding cake.

⚔️Zoro: Falls asleep during the ceremony. Gets lost on his way to the buffet???? Caves when the flower girl gives him puppy eyes and dances with her on his feet for a song. It’s so wholesome Nami almost feels guilty recording it for blackmail.

🍊Nami: Looks better than the bride and knows it. Spends half the time trying to beat everyone into submission because can’t you behave for once in your god damn lives?????????

🤥Usopp: His home is the dance floor. Won’t rest until each crew member has danced to at least one song.

💛Sanji: Hits on every woman he sees (strikes out every time). Complains about how bland the potatoes are and how dry the fish is. Still finishes everything on his plate because we don’t waste food even if it’s an insult to the tastebuds of all these beautiful ladies etc. etc. etc.

🦌Chopper: Got seated at the kids table and he’s so delighted bc all the kids love him sm offended.

🌸Robin: Honestly just enjoying the people watching. Mentions that 41% of all first marriages end in divorce when congratulating the couple.

🤖Franky: Absolutely DEVOURS the cupid shuffle.

💀Brook: Strawhats only got invited to this thing bc Brook is in the wedding band (the couple said he gets a plus one so he said “bet - plus one entire crew”).

BONUS:

❌Shanks: King has fucked three bridesmaids and two groomsmen by the end of the night.

[dailydemonspotlight]

Asmodeus - Day 47

Race: Tyrant

Alignment: Dark-Chaos

June 4th, 2024

When one thinks about traditional demonic names, among the 'star'-studded ranks of Belial, Beelzebub, or Mammon, one other stands out among the rest- a demon representing lust and one of the seven princes of hell, Asmodeus. Despite appearing in only a few stories of Abrahamic faith, Asmodeus is a well known demon whose popularity cannot go understated- whether it be adult animated TV shows or demonic dating games, Asmodeus is a prevalent demon in pop culture. But why is this the case? Why does Asmodeus rise above his peers? And why did he try to take Isabeau as a bride? I can answer two of those questions, but Jury's out on the bride one. I think he just likes tomboys. Let's try this demonic jailer in the court of Law and Chaos!

As with many demons in Abrahamic religions, Asmodeus first appears in relation to, who else, but everyone's favorite historical demon summoner, King Solomon. Primarily appearing in several stories throughout the Talmud, but also appearing in the Quran and a few stories in the Book of Tobit, a Christian book of dubious canonicity (typically only in a second canon, not the primary one,) Asmodeus is one of the 7 Kings of Demons, representing the deadly sin of Lust. Interestingly, this title wasn't given in many of his stories- in fact, there's reason to believe he initially represented the sin of Wrath before Satan came around and swooped it away. Asmodeus's name originates from 'Asmodai,' which has been stipulated to originally be "aēšma-daēva (𐬀𐬉𐬴𐬨𐬀𐬛𐬀𐬉𐬎𐬎𐬀)" which roughly translates to 'Wrath-Daēva.' As a result of this, in Zoroastrianism, their equivalent to Asmodeus, Aēsma, is a daēva whose domain is that of wrath.

Now, Asmodeus himself has a collection of different retellings of one primary story himself- for the most part, this demon appears in the Book of Tobit as the primary antagonist throughout, working to sabotage the protagonist Sarah in her attempts to get a child. Sarah, daughter of Raguel, a character who is... less a character, and more of a general name given to several figures? Thanks for making my job easy, Christianity. Anyway, Sarah had been trying for a baby for a while, but after 7 consecutive husbands went conspicuously missing almost immediately post marriage, she began to grow suspicious. (Why didn't she just try to have sex before marriage? Uh, Christianity, I guess?) However, an eighth husband would show himself- a young man by the name of Tobit! And thankfully, he has a plan, courtesy of an attendant angel, Raphael.

Somehow, by placing a fish's heart on burning coals, a smoke emerges that is so powerful it scares the encroaching Asmodeus all the way into Egypt. Once in Egypt, the demon is bound and sealed away. It's believed that the reasoning for Asmodeus preying on the suitors of Sarah is due to them marrying her simply to pursue their lustful desires, while Tobit outwits him due to being pure of mind. This legend, and corresponding idea, is also where the general consensus of Asmodeus being the demon of Lust originates. Not him being horny.

As opposed to his role in the Book of Tobit, Asmodeus appears as a far more jovial character in the Talmud, starring in stories which depict him less as outright evil and more as just a guy doing his god-damned job, as a lighthearted and good-natured man who just so happens to be a demon. The myriad of stories involving Asmodeus in the Talmud can actually tend to be rather humorous in nature, such as one in which Solomon ends up tricking the demon into helping build his temple and another in which, likely as revenge, Asmodeus ends up launching the king a long way from his kingdom and takes over for a year until Solomon returned, wherein the Demon did a fine job ruling until he fled upon learning of the return of the king. These sets of stories combined with his role in the Book of Tobit eventually placed him as a king of hell in a rather prevalent demonic compendium, though maybe not the one you were expecting.

As opposed to the Ars Goetia, Asmodeus actually appears in the Malleus Maleficarum, wherein he is considered the demon of lust and assigned an adversary in the form of St. John. It's in this compendium that he is also given the title as one of the kings of hell, wherein he overrules the gambling holes of hell. It's worth remembering that the deadly sin of Lust doesn't necessarily mean sexual gratification- it can mean a strong and intense desire for anything, including money. Yes, that gives it some overlap with Greed, but Lust differentiates itself by being a desire so overwhelming it's impossible to escape from, instead of Greed being a desire wherein one wants more and more.

However. He does appear in the Ars Goetia!!! CHEERING CHEERING YIPPEE!!!!!!!! Appearing as the demon Asmoday, he is depicted as the 32nd demon in the text, governing 72 legions of demons and being an incredibly powerful demon with the appearance of a man with three heads- one of a bull, another of a man, and the third being a goat. Unfortunately, the text doesn't delve that deep into this demon, simply bearing a powerful spear and an infernal dragon he rides upon.

So! How is he depicted in the series? Unfortunately, Asmodeus, in spite of how common he is in other demonic compendiums, makes only scant appearances throughout the series. Being a major boss in II and IV, as well as being Kamoshida's boss form in Persona 5, he mostly appears as a powerful demon in one form or another. Being a boss fight and being Asmodeus go hand in hand in the series, basically. Every design of this demon is different from the last, and, well, none of them are too accurate to every common depiction, but I can't blame the artists. This is a very, very hard design to make look good, so a majority of the time, they don't really bother.

The closest they get is his design in SMT II, but even then it differs greatly from each major depiction of Asmodeus. Again, though, I can't really blame them. As a powerful boss monster in most of the series, they work hard to make this demon actually intimidating, and I gotta give them props. My personal favorite design of Asmodeus has to be in IV, however, just due to it looking cool as hell.

This lustful king of hell gets a B+. Still don't know why he tried to take Isabeau as his bride though.

[witchersmistress]

Forbbiden Fruit- Ann's POV

This version wouldnt not stop swimming around in my head so here it is. @livesinfantasyland here is what you were thinking

Trigger warning: public sex, alcohol, a small act of violence. Ire that is going to be directed at me from the real Ann, highly likely

word count: 2.9K

Ann’s POV

I hated political events, especially ones like these. I'd be glued to Julian'side all night. We rode in silence to the event. He was engrossed by his phone and ignoring me as usual. I could not stop thinking about that tall dark stranger whose bed I was in so many nights ago. My toes involuntarily curled at the memory of the earth shattering orgasms  that man gave me. He probably has permanent nail marks in his scalp, as I clawed at his head while I rode his face. I could feel a blush making my way up my cheeks, pressing my warm cheek to the glass as I looked out the window. We pulled up to the venue and got out.

Julian escorted me inside, we stopped for pictures and to greet people but I couldn't care less. I'd rather be at home curled up in comfy pjs and watching the Witcher, because have you not seen Henry Cavill 🥵

Snapping drew me back to reality. Julian was snapping his fingers in my face. “ Excuse us for a moment, she isn't feeling well” he yanked me towards him and over to an empty corner, pushing my back into the wall and pinning my wrist to my chest, they would definitely be bruised. “What the fuck do you think you are doing? You embarrassed me, in front of those people, because you couldn't stop day dreaming like a damn child for two minutes?! I ripped my arm out of his grasp and shoved him away. “ You cannot talk to me that way..” he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him, his soulless eyes boring into mine “ That is where you are wrong. I. OWN. YOU. From the moment your father signed the contract agreeing to our marriage, I've owned you. You are mine to own, fuck, pimp and whore you out as I see fit. You no longer have any control over your life. So here is what you are going to do Anneliese. You are going to stay silent and listen, open those pretty legs when I tell you to and give me a son. After that I’ll decide if it is worth keeping you around if you are going to cause this much trouble '' I could feel the tears pricking at the back of my eyelids but I refused to let them fall. He kissed me angrily and I bit him. “You little bitch” he hissed when he pulled back and wiped away the blood. “ You’ll pay for that, you stupid girl marked my words and he stormed away.

I could taste the copper on my tongue and it was making my stomach churn. I ran to the closet bathroom and heaved till nothing was left. Sinking to the floor, I fished for my clutch with a shaking hand and grabbed my phone, I sent a text off and a few minutes later, the door pushed open and shut with a click of the lock “ Ann? Where are you?” a soft feminine voice call, pushing open the stall door to reveal my mother, she was a short woman. Long black dress, simple diamond bracelet and a stylish updo. “ Mija” she came over and cradled me in her arms. I refused to cry. She held me for a few moments before standing and bringing me to my feet with her, she fussed with my dress “ Come mija, show him you are not a woman easily broken.” looking in the mirror to check my appearance, we made our way down the stairs and into the ballroom, to where my father was waiting. My father looked up in our direction as my mother approached him  “ Ahh there she is, my pride and joy, besides my darling wife,”  he placed a quick kiss on her cheek as she approached his side “ Director Sloane, Agent Walker, i’d like you to meet my only daughter” they turned to face me and my heart dropped into my vagina. It was him, the dark haired devil I was in bed with, God I'd forgotten how breathtaking he was. Tall with dark hair, cerulean blue eyes, strong jawline covered in scruff and a sleek mustache. His eyes light up with amusement. Extending out a hand to the woman to his right then himself. He raised my knuckles to his mouth and kissed them “ It's a pleasure to meet you” he released my hand and excused himself, his eyes sparkled with mischief as he walked away. I watch him make his way to the bar and then down a hallway. Excusing myself, I followed after him.

“What are you doing Ann?” I scolded myself as I made my way down the hall searching for him “Chasing after a dangerous man” I laughed to myself. Still mumbling to myself “ of course the man i choose to sleep with hand to be the world's most..'' I felt a strong arm reach out and snatch me, pinning me and covering my mouth as I let out a yelp. Bergamot and a blend of honey and brown sugar from the whiskey that is on his lips. It was him. He tested the door before pushing us inside. As the door shut with a soft click and he turned on the light I spun on my heels to look at him.

His cerulean blue eyes focused on me. He looked so calm and collected, I couldn't decide if I wanted to slap him across the face or kiss him like it would be the last time I'd ever see him again. I approached him and went with a gut reaction, slapping him across the face, the slap echoing off the walls. “ How dare you think you can follow me..” he grabbed my face and began to kiss me, i tried to fight him off but i was losing every second, i gave in to the kiss and began to fight him another way. Sucking his lower lip into my mouth I bit down on it. Releasing it with a satisfied smirk, i went to go do it again but he dragged his lips away from mine, placing a kiss on my forehead “ I did not follow you, i didn't know anything about you, except how good you ride my cock and scream my name as you come undone, it’s a beautiful thing to watch” he said with a smirk.

 I could feel the heat in my cheeks making its way down my neck and into my chest, as I shoved at him with all my strength but it was like pushing a brick wall. I got nowhere fast. “ You cannot ever do that again'' i hissed at him, i half expected a smart ass remark, but he just looked at me with a wicked grin, pinning my against the wall  and began bringing up layers of my tulle skirt “ August, we cannot have sex again, i have a fiance, albeit an arranged marriage, but i just can't. It was a one time thing” this was a losing battle, my false bravado was slipping but i was willing to die on this hill" “ I don't even want to have sex with you again” i babbled on as he continued on his mission. 

I felt his rough touch against my panties. Goddammit, why did I have to wear the matching lingerie for this dress?!?! He slipped a finger inside me. We both knew what he had found, the truth to my lies. He found me soaking wet and dripping for him, from the moment my father called me over to introduce us. A shiver ran through my body as he moved his finger around my wet channel. “ Tsk tsk tsk little mouse” he clicked at me as he removed his finger that was glistening with my juices “ I think that you are a liar” he stuck his finger in his mouth as he began to lick it clean and released it with a pop.

“ Fuckkk, you taste just like i remember, fucking nirvana” dropping to his knees, he holds the bunch of my tulle skirt and hands it to me “ Here hold this for me” grabbing the skirts with a shaking hand, i watched as he slid off my panties and pocketed them. Grabbing my left leg he draped it over his shoulder so my pussy was wide open to him. “ You better be a quiet little mouse, so that no one can hear you” I glared at him so hard that bullets could pass through his head with ease. He flicked his tongue out to lick my pulsating clit. I  grabbed a handful of his hair trying to get him to stop but it was fruitless.

He nips at my thighs and labia, squeaking as he nips at the tender flesh. I pulled back and locked eyes with him, his eyes dark with lust “What do you want Walker'' i spat at him, as he continued to nipping at my thigh again and pushing two fingers into my weeping cunt, and began to pump them in and out of her as he  spoke '' I want you to beg me Ann, to eat you, to devour you, soul and all. Letting you walk out of this room like you just didnt get fucked by the most dangerous man in the room” he picked up his pace,  adding pressure to my clit with his thumb rubbing it in tight circles, letting my  head fall back against the wall, wanton moans falling from my lips not bothering to try and conceal them “August” i beg breathlessly as i tug on his hair “ Please, please, devour me” “Don't mind if i do” he said as he buries his face in my aching pussy.

A dark chuckle skitters across my core, and I’m ashamed of how my body responds. My hips curve towards his mouth without permission, seeking what it needs. His tongue dives into my pussy, licking inside of me with ravenous strokes. A cry leaves my lips, breathless and embarrassingly loud. The pressure builds as he finally does what I’ve been silently begging for. His tongue swirls up to my clit with the perfect amount of pressure, paying special attention to the abused bud before dipping lower again and spearing the muscle inside of my pussy. Cries of pleasure echo throughout the room.  I don’t want him to hear what he’s doing to me, but I can’t seem to contain myself either. I just lose myself. To him and the thrashing of his tongue on my clit. It’s impossible to resist as the coil deep in my stomach curls painfully tight. I can’t stop him from sucking my clit into his mouth any more than I can control the orgasm from reaching its peak. I suck in a sharp breath, a strangled cry escaping as my body falls over the edge. He plunges two fingers inside me just as I do, and the bliss is catastrophic. I no longer care to hold back the sharp screams, nor do I stop my thighs from clamping his head firmly between them. He continues to nibble and suck pussy as I come down from my high.

Slowly opening my thighs to let him escape. He lowered my leg off his shoulder with a kiss to my thigh. He rose to his full height and adjusted my skirts so I was covered. I was struggling to breathe let alone think of the consequences of my actions as he grabbed me by the neck and dragged me to him for a passionate kiss. I can taste a hint of whiskey and the taste of me on his lips and it is intoxicating. Fisting his dress shirt in my hands as I attempted to  undress him. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. Reaching into his pocket he fished out my panties and kneeled helping me back into them, he then turned me to the door and pointed “ Go I’ll be 10 minutes behind you” nodding quietly, I slipped out the door and down the hall back towards the party.

Making my way back out into the crowd I heard my father yell my name “ Ann my darling girl” I turned and made my way towards him. He was conversing with a group of men, including father in law and the Ambassador. Reaching my father's side, he tucked me into his arm and placed a kiss on my head. My father in law was eyeing me up and down when the band began to play. “Daddy” I said. He looked over at me “ Yes my darling girl?” I suggested going to the dance floor. “Would you like to dance with me?” He smiled at me. “ Excuse me gentlemen, but my daughter would like to dance.” He stepped away and swept me out onto the dance floor. We danced in silence for a few moments before he said “I'm so proud of you, for the young woman you've become” . I smiled softly at him. He took a deep breath and spun us around. My eyes landed on August, relief flashed in his eyes as he looked me up and down before making his way to his boss. “ Sweetheart” my dad drew me back to reality. He was smiling but it did reach his eyes “Qué pasa papá?” what is it papa?  even with his eyes trained on me, his thoughts were miles away “ Nada mi querida niña, lo siento mucho, no pude darte la vida que querías.” I’m just so damn sorry that I couldn't give you the life you wanted” he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, resting his palm on my face as if he was trying to engrave my face into his memory. 

A tap to his shoulder disrupted us.  “Excuse me sir, would you mind if I had a dance with your daughter?” August asked, my father  nodded,placing a kiss on my cheek before handing me over to him. I watched him walk over to my mother and embrace her, at least they would always have each other.

August spun me around and placed a hand on the back of my  waist and drew me close as other couples left us. Holding my hand  we waltzed around the ballroom. “Ann…” he spoke in a soft but firm tone.  shaking my head and said “No, no more talking, let's just dance” he let out a heavy sigh as he spun me out in a wide circle as the music changed to the haunting melody of Lana Del Ray’s Young and beautiful I watched him as we spun, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax into his arms. Some part of me knew that this would be the last time that was ever at peace like this again. 

I felt the world melt away around us, we were just him and I again. Me calling him a devil while he had me pinned by my throat and he fucked me ruthlessly. The orgasm that ripped through me as I struggled to breath. It's something I won't ever forget. With one last slow spin the song came to an end and I opened my eyes to look at him, when I saw a hand tap him on the shoulder “ Julian” he growled. He just looked at us before he said “ Walker, I hope you don't mind, but Anneliese and I need to get going” “Ann” we both snapped at him. He just rolled his eyes as I excluded myself and went to grab my things, then Julian was practically dragging me up the stairs, he was seething, August snatched my wrist, stopping me short and almost knocking Julian over. HA that would have been priceless to see. Looking at August i said 

“ Déjame ir” Let me go,  glancing back at Julian, his brows knitted in confusion. 

“Si te dejo ir, ciertamente morirás en su mano.” he spoke in a soft tone If i let you go, you will certainly die by his hand 

 My heart grew heavier knowing he knew my fate but also that his hands were tied and he couldn't help me, giving him a small but sad smile . “Mi destino fue decidido por mí hace mucho tiempo, no hay escapatoria” she chuckled slightly “Lo más feliz que me sentí fue contigo esas noches atrás, me hiciste sentir viva y por eso siempre te estaré agradecido pero es hora de dejarme ir.”   “My fate was decided for me long ago, there is no escape” she chuckled slightly “ the happiest i ever felt was with you those few nights ago, you made me feel alive and for that i will  always be grateful but it's time to let me go. 

He loosened his grip on my  wrist so i  could pull my hand away,  “ Fairfarren, Alice perhaps I will see you again in another lifetime” i spoke with one final squeeze to my hand before he stepped away and let my hand fall back to my side as i was pulled up the stairs by a monster.

Standing on the steps waiting for the valet to bring the car, Julian was fuming, as the car pulled up, I looked  up and saw August standing on the balcony just watching me. Climbing in the car and I looked back one last time as we started to pull away, till he was nothing but white speak in the darkening horizon. 

[cosmicourple]

oo, oo here’s another title for ya, enjoy: It’s not fish piss!

LMAO thanks ☺️😭🫶

oh Gods, what do make of this one :) :

Idea #1: in The Modern Day, a Merfolk! Poseidon, suffering through one of his Heats, and having ventured On Land looking for a preferable Human Partner to seduce and relieve himself with, ends up hooking up with a unsuspecting Odysseus, who turns out to be a surprisingly skilled and thrilling Lover to Engage with, both Sexually and in general. The encounter is so satisfying that Poseidon decides to spare Ody’ the last bit of The Tradition on How Single Merfolk deal with Heats, the cover up of their Encounter, in which is to eat the Human Partner once done with their Cycle :).

Poseidon was careful enough and had enough control over himself to not give away anything about what he is, so it’ll be fine to just walk away this once, right?. And it probably would’ve been, if he hadn’t accidentally Knotted inside during a very passionate round.

Almost a month later, Poseidon is forced to begrudgingly acknowledge that it was the Human’s sharp mind that drew him in, after the riled up bastard somehow tracked him down and ambush tackled him during a Brotherly Rockpool Hangout, screeching bloody murder about how he got him pregnant.

Many an embarrassing scoldings were had from Hestia, (“I thought you had better control over your spend than this!!!”) while his now Partner Responsibility glared at him sourly, looking like an angry feral cat with his swollen belly :),,,

Idea #2: during a seaside trip, while exploring a patch of muck-covered beach, a kid Ody’ and Ctimene find a washed up bottle containing some strange Murky Blue Liquid, which turns out to actually be the trapped Soul Parts of the Ancient Spirit of Posęadon, Corrupted alongside Hïs fellow Gods by The Boiling Rage of Humanity from The Ancient World, now on the very tip of Rising once more, ready to set off Humanity’s Destruction and Awaken Hïs Siblings, but first, all Hě needs to do is deceive Whoever comes across Hïs Prison and get Them to open The Bottle,,,,

Or Hě would have by now- but it seems The Fates are still around to cause inconvenience, because Hě keeps getting interrupted by either the Little Shits inabilities to just listen for one moment, instead looping around the subject in favour of chattering about their lives or asking him stupid questions like:

“Are you a Genie?”

“Can I show you this cool bird I found outside?”

“What do you think of the current Government’s Failure to properly helping Serve Society?”

plus them sometimes deciding to shake The Bottle with no warning ‘cause the little bastards know it makes Hïm feel sick auggg-

OR-

Their frankly insane family butts in, sometimes to try and persuade them to throw away The Bottle (which Hě cannot have happen—).

Sometimes, when the unwillingly nicknamed ‘Stewseidon’ observes them, Hě truly wonders if they might be descended from The Gods pre-corruption or at least certain Greek Royal Bloodlines, especially when looking at the youngest boy’s (who found him) face,,, something Familiar about it,,,,

Idea #3: inspo from The Little Mermaid, Merprince Poseidon ends up falling in love with a Travelling Scammer Family’s son, Odysseus, while they were making a stop at the Seaside Village, and plans to introduce himself disguised as a Human. Unfortunately, due to a track record of dating so horrendous that Poseidon has had to be set up in a Arranged Marriage for any hope’s of producing suitable Royal Heirs, his siblings, specially his brothers, don’t believe that he can possibly pull this guy. And from what they’ve managed to pry from the middle brother, his little crush is Human, which downright convinces them that Poseidon is joking with them or just straight up lying for attention.

Extremely pissed from the lack of faith, endless taunting from Zeus and accusations of damn falsehood, Poseidon makes it his mission to woo Odysseus and then bring him to meet his siblings to show them that he can hold a fucking relationship!!!.

But unfortunately, once having met the Merchant Son for the first time, it seems it’s going to be a lot harder to carry out said mission with how much of a stubborn, snarky, shithead of a person Odysseus turns out to be,,,,

edit: FINALLY got this done AUGGUYGGGGGGVC😭😭😭

[multiversemaker169]

More monster/mythical creature au interactions

1.(Embarrassment is chilling with a herd of goats when he suddenly heard chewing. Embarrassment turned around to see Anger(wolf form) eating one of the goats).

Anger: Oh, hey, Embarrassment.

Embarrassment:(annoyed) Anger, could you please stop eating my friends?

Anger: Well, maybe you should stop making such delicious friends.

(Embarrassment rolls his eyes in annoyance).

2.Envy: So, Joy. As a fairy, you like nectar, right?

Joy: I don't like it, I love it.

Envy: Well, since honey is basically nectar, I decided to make honey cookies just for you.

(Envy brings out a tray of honey cookies for Joy).

Joy: Wow, thanks Envy.

Envy: You're welcome.

(Joy takes a bite out of a honey cookie and loves it).

Joy: Wow, this is amazing.

Envy: I'm glad you like it.

3.(Fear and Anxiety are outside, stargazing).

Fear: Anxiety?

Anxiety: Yeah?

Fear: Since we died before our wedding, do you think we should try to get married again?

Anxiety: I mean, we could,but who would chaperone a couple of reanimated corpses?

Fear: Actually, there's a bunch of witches and wizards who chaperone monster weddings for a living.

Anxiety: Really?

Fear: Yeah (shows a list of monster wedding chaperones).

Anxiety: Well, in that case, we should start making plans for our wedding.

Fear: Alright, I still have the rings we would've worn if we didn't die before our marriage.

4.Joy: Qui qui? Can I see your bat form?

Ennui: Non.

Joy: Please...

(Joy gives Ennui puppy eyes).

Ennui: Ugh, fine.

(Ennui transforms into a cute little bat and lands into Joy's hands).

Joy: Oh, my God. It's so cute!

Ennui:(flirting tone) You think I'm cute?

Joy: Oh, not that kind of cute, you tease.

(Joy hugs Ennui. Ennui changes back to her original form).

5.(Anger(wolf form) walks up to Ennui. This is after the two started getting along).

Anger: Ennui?

Ennui: Yes?

Anger: You said you've always wondered what Werewolf Blood tastes like, right?

Ennui: What are you insinuating?

Anger: I'm saying you can try some, so long as you don't tell anyone.

Ennui: Are you serious?

Anger: Yes(Revels neck), now just bite me before I change my mind!

Ennui: Of course. I'd never turn down an opportunity like this.

(Ennui bites Anger's neck and starts drinking his blood. Ennui was pleasantly surprised at how good werewolf blood tasted.)

Anger: Damn, were you really hungry or something!?

(Ennui kept drinking and savoring every drop until she had her fill).

Ennui: You're blood was si délicieux(so delicious)...

Anger: Really?

Ennui: Qui, I mean, nothing will top fairy blood, but werewolf blood is a very close second.

Anger: Well, thank you.

Ennui: Hey, how about you bite me next time?

Anger: Really, thanks, Ennui.

Ennui: No problem, Anger.

6.(Envy is planning on making a feast for everyone).

Envy: So, everyone, what's your favorite food?

Joy: I love honeysuckle nectar.

Sadness: Cod has to be my favorite food.

Embarrassment: I love berries.

Nostalgia: Brains, any type of brains. I'm not picky.

Ennui: Well, fairy blood is that common, but cow blood is the next best thing.

Fear: Although I no longer need to eat, I still like an occasional grilled vegetable salad.

Anxiety: And I still like to eat cheesecake every now and then.

Anger(wolf form): How can I pick just one? I think my favorite food is either venison or mutton, no wait, bison!

Envy: Alright, I'll get to preparing the feast.

(Envy made everyone's favorite food while baking some gingerbread men cookies for herself).

7.(Ennui, Anger(wolf form), and Sadness are in front of a butcher shop).

Anger: Alright, Ennui. You try to unlock both the butcher shop and the meat locker, while Sadness and I will be on the look out.

Ennui: Alright, here I go.

(Ennui transforms into a rat and gets in from the air vents. She gets to the meat locker, picks the lock, and opens the door for Anger and Sadness).

Ennui: We're in.

Anger and Sadness: Yes.

(The three sneak into the meat locker, where there was meat, fish, and buckets of blood as far as the eye could see).

Anger: Let's eat!

(The three begin their feast. Anger ripped and teared into a bunch of meat. Sadness snacks on as much fish as she could, and Ennui consumed every drop of blood she saw. The three leave the butcher shop, haven eaten almost everything in the meat locker. Disgust saw this and used her magic to replace everything that was eaten so they wouldn't get in trouble).

Digust: You guys are gonna have stomach aches in the morning from all that overeating.

Sadness: I didn't even think of that...

Ennui: I haven't had this good of a meal in a long time, so I wanted to make it count.

Anger: Stomach ache? That's future Anger's problem.

Disgust: It's okay, Sadness. But for the rest of you, don't say I didn't warn you.

(The next day, the three are having major stomach aches).

Ennui: It was worth it...

Sadness: No, it wasn't...

Anger(mortal form): I said it was future Anger's problem, but now I am future Anger...

Disgust: I warned you.

[sketchfanda]

A Little Moxxie Love: Teacher’s Pet

Sinners came and went in Hell especially when it came to the annual purge from the Exorcists of heaven, most wound up there with a good reason to a point that the inferno more or less seperated itself into sections. There was the residential 9 circles of course and then there was that little chunk of limbo occupied by the absolute scum of the Earth, the racists fascists and what not all getting their deserved eternal damnation. Within the circles among the hellborn demon denizens, you of course had the Sinners, confined within the pride circle and often occupying locales such as Imp City or Pentagram town, who did bad enough to still wind up here or you had those who spent all their life being good and due to petty reasons or one absolute FUCK-UP due to circumstances found themselves here. Such was the case with one Mrs.Mayberry, a devoted spirited and friendly school teacher who unfortunately punched her ticket to hellfire and brimstone all because she went a LITTLE batshit crazy.

Well okay so a little was an understatement but you expect her to be rational trying to make a video phone call to your husband on his birthday..which you forgot, only to wind up getting a full audio visual view of him cheating you with some whore? Alright so the chainsaw and shotgun may've been excessive and it would've been nice not to traumatise her classroom, who saw every terrifying second, right up to her committing suicide out of the horror she'd done but maybe she more than punched her ticket for Hell. It just would've made for some closure to know that the Bitch known as Martha had gone down with her, but NOO! She'd survived and just the thought of what came to afterwards.

That damn homewrecker got hailed as hero and she was to be remembered in passing as some psycho bitch, just the idea that Martha whatever had not only still kept drawing breath but got some good karma out of it made her absolutely FUCKING LIVID!! So of course it felt there was a sign that there was God, even in this infernal inferno and that he smiled on revenge via seeing that tacky billboard or that commercial with the annoying jingle. A professional hitman group dedicated to helping you get payback from beyond the grave, now how poetic would that be? Okay she had doubts when meeting them given that the boss was beyond fucking insensitive after she'd confided about her circumstances and yeah there was that shit about their office being set on fire by electric eels but really who keeps a fish tank full of electric eels?!!

But hey least she got a discount for the hire and best of all was they actually managed to do the damn job!! They not only got the whore but her family as well, turns out they were Satanist cannibals, talk about something right out of some goddamn cliche slasher flick but the only thing sweeter than her revenge had to be the cake for the after party. But of course Mayberry had then found something even sweeter during said party, thanks to a very vivid and detailed description from that Millie girl about how that homewrecking slut-whore's death came about. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't actually going to get off at night just even thinking that the bitch would be rotting in Hell with her but goddamn how fucking ironic and poetic that she literally and figuratively got fucked to death?! Well it made he just want to kiss the triggerman responsible, said Imp being none other than Millie's husband.

Now mind you back in life, Mayberry had done just about everything right to stay on the straight and narrow path from abstaining from sex outside of Marriage to smoking, drugs and alcohol but we all know how well that turned out. But there wasn't any doubt that before damnation, she'd have not hesitated to politely but firmly reject the quite kinky, generous offer Millie had made her, but after days to weeks in this part of Hell? Fuck it, she was all on board and if a marriage could somehow manage to be functional and healthy for these two imps in Hell that the missus had no issue with this kink of hers? Well it was small wonder she decided to take her up on her offer.

Which of course was how she had wound up being taken by the erotic little short-stack back to the modest little apartment she and her man called home. Surprising the imp himself when he came back to find the lights off and the presence of a set of lips kissing him that most certainly didn't belong to Millie. But he certainly knew when to run with the momentum, that was for damn sure as the former teacher found Millie hadn't been exaggerating or lying in the slightest as the kinky imp watched on with voyeuristic thrill at the sinner and her man making out out on the couch. Mayberry of course found out first hand that Moxxie wasn't just, pardon, one helluva kisser but there was a damn good reason or at least one of key ones as to why Millie married the guy.

That being that despite what his height and overall body-shape implied, the guy was FUCKING HUNG!! It's small wonder Millie had this kink for having her man bone other women a dick, no a COCK like this was all too much for anyone woman to handle and there was no doubt he knew how to use it. It was small wonder he managed to bang Martha's brains out figuratively well enough in order to do so literally with a length and girth like this. His make out skills alone had put her worthless chump of a husband to shame but this, well suddenly the guy now seemed like a pencil dick compared to this thing.

Shock and awe on her face as her eyes began to twinkle with a glow of rising lust as witnessing such a cock awakened something within the former school teacher. A dormant primal urge, the innate animalistic primitve urge to mate...to breed even!! Before she knew it, she found herself naked together with this sex god among imps, body draped upside on the couch at a 90 degree angle with her hanging off of the edge. Glasses askew as those heavy crimson red balls smacked her forehead, Moxxie delivering a power-froce facefuck as he held her horns firmly in his grasp while the sinner experienced her first real act of fellatio in a into the deep end manner of deepthroating.

And she was loving every goddamn second of it, as if all that abstinence back in life had been rewarded with this, recalling just how much of an utter disappointment her honeymoon had been. Or her first time in general, no sir this wasn't vanilla love-making,this was raw, passionate FUCKING, all goddamn caps and it was absolute ecstasy!! But of course Moxxie showed he was no slouch at eating a woman out either and oooh lord what that sweet tongue could do to and for a woman, it'd be a miracle if she'd be able to walk straight for a few hours, days even!! But then of course the moment of penetration itself came and so did she, long, loud and hard with erotic abandon.

Had she gone to hell or was this in fact the real Heaven hiding within it?!! Well it didn't matter about what could've, would've or should've been when she was finally experiencing a real man here and now, as she found herself pinned up against a wall, arms and legs wrapped around Moxxie’s compact yet quite toned form. Hearts glowing in her eyes as her face was wearing what the Japanese called an ahegao, drool dribbling from her lips as her pussy was pounded and hammered by inches of imp length and girth. He wasn’t just hitting her G spot, he was getting the whole alphabet!

Even the most basic vanilla positions such as missionary felt surreal in how fucking amazing they felt but chalk that up to Moxxie not only having size but knowing how to use it. To say nothing of how lewd she felt when Millie joined the fear, having felt she’d done enough of just watching. Now mayberry knew she’d never so much as thought of kissing another woman even for experimenting but Christ could this imp make even the most hetero woman question her own sexuality. Especially in Mayberry’s case when she found herself eating out the wrath shortstsck’s pussy as Moxxie plowed her her doggy style.

For Martha of course, that one time with Moxxie became more than a one time deal in expressing her gratitude for killing that home wrecking bitch. Not long before parting ways, Millie had only offered to exchange contact details but seems she had wanted to let the former school teacher in on something very special she had planned. She thought about this offer for all of about several nano seconds before she accepted it. After all why turn a chance to have herself a little vitamin Moxxie on the regular now and then?

Now as said back in life, this sort of wild spontaneous lust and lewdness was not Something she ever would’ve thought about, period!! It was all just too scandalous to consider but then again she was in hell now so this sort of thing felt natural and really, what women in and out hell wouldn’t want some of this action? Especially with an imp who was hung like a beast and was possessing of such sexual prowess that he could be considered hell’s equivalent to sex a god. It only felt like the least she could enjoy given how much a shit show her life spiralled out into.

And so it had come to pass that was how Mayberry found herself one of the first and earliest members of wha Millie was coming to call a circle of intimacy. Something only a select couple of women like herself would be in, yes that spunky kinky short stack had even worked out a tier system for this passion project of hers and she was all on board for it. So of course in between when she wasn’t having Moxxie rock her world at either his place or hers, she’d be keeping an eye out for any sinners or demons who were looking for something a little better than their current lot in life. Lesbians who wanted a little taboo spice, lonely singles who wanted to end their dry spells and of course married women or girls in relationships who found their men lacking or left wanting, any and all potential candidates, it was rathe fun t like shopping for a quality piece of fashion at a sale.

But of course just when Mayberry her damnation couldn’t get a little easier and sweeter, one fine day she found a large crate delivered to her apartment. A note attached, sealed with a kiss from Millie who wrote “A Lil’ Someone to keep You company. No worries Moxxie made sure she was as tame as a kitten….”. This made the sinner rather curious as she wasted no time in popping the crate open, finding auite sight before her. There was no mistaking her one bit, even if she now had the physical looks of a sinner, as in the crate laying bound and gagged in nothing but lacey lingerie was none other than Martha herself.

And Millie’s note hadn’t been kidding, the homewrecker in life was as sweet and affectionate as a puppy or kitten, greeting the teacher whose life she had ruined with licks and kisses. The shock and surprise in Mayberry of course soon gave way to lust as it occurred to her what exactly the hell was happening. Seems her alpha male imp had an encounter with this damn sinner snd once again, his sexual prowess got one over on her, proofing too much for the satanist cannibal killer to handle. It was all too delicious, sweeter than sugar than honey combined, the bitch who had ruined her life and marriage was a slutty sex pet that belonged to her, she owned this bitch!!

So of course she wasted no time in getting intimately, erotically acquainted with her new pet slash roommate as she asserted her dominance as Martha’s second alpha female. Getting herself a revenge much sweeter than the attempted chainsaw and shotgun murder she tried on when they were both alive. Having Martha squirm and moan, crying out her name, calling her mistress, making her lap up her pussy juices, it was delicious ecstasy. Hell she even got to try out a few of those toys she had bought and been stockpiling, especially Ozzie’s Brand M.

It was a lovely little toy well worth its price tag and handy for filling the void and scratching the itch for when she couldn’t get herself access for some quality time with Moxxie. But ooh using it on Martha more than validated her purchase of it so it more than ensured that homewrecker knew who held her leash, figuratively and literally. Now if you were to tell Mayberry in life that she’d be in hell living with another woman who she kept around as a sex pet? Well she’d call you a deviant with a wild and overly active imagination.

But that was then and this was now of course and far as Mayberry was concerned, she was living her best afterlife. So it came as no surprise that next time around Moxxie and Millie came by her place for her latest session of Vitamin Moxxie intimacy, she had her little sex pet in on the fun. Hell was what you’d make of it, especially with the impossibility of reason and for this former school teacher? She’d say she made a pretty sweet afterlife for herself and how goddamn sweet it is, heaven likely coils t come close being this good.

[almostourgalaxy]

im also 🎤🎤 bc im thinkin about it 4 reasons; what are the Vibes like on seadweller marriages for the other quadrants ? 👀

You're gettin flushed for that damn fish, aren't you KezRaf?/j

God so I'vvwe explained the Kismesis marriage thing but:

Ashen is similar, except it invvwolvvwes three people instead of just twwvo

Moirails seldom marry(admitting you need emotional support is considered wwveakness) and those that do tend to vvwary their ceremonies by couple. (Saturn has no moiral, but had Kathri evvwer said anything they'd havvwe probably gone off somewwvhere completely alone for a wwvhile and just... livvwed, for a fewwv wwveeks. It's not really a ceremony but also Isn't It?)

Matesprites are the loudest of the ceremonies, and take the longest.

The actual ceremony itself is more a showwv of compatibility and matched strength. "I am wwvorthy of you" type beat. This is USUALLY done by Fuckin FistFighting in front of a crowwvd of wwvitnessess. It's both an ACTUAL fight and also an elaborate dance, invvwoulvvwing turning blowwvs into an excuse to toss your partner onto their back, or to flip them ovvwer you. This goes on until you're both too tired to keep going.

Then the next part kicks in. Wwvhere as Kismesi are just tied at the wwvrist, Matesprites get tied across their necks, wwvrists AND ankles. Complete synchronization required both in this moment, and in life together.

The twwvo remain tied through the rest of the night. There wwvill be feasts. There wwvill be more dancing. There WWVILL be sevvweral couples that abruptly decide to tie the knot to keep the party going. Seadwwveller wwveddings go from a single night to sevvweral wwveeks because of this shit.

Like kismesi, Matesprites wwvill often keep parts of the ropes that bound them.

[fandom-hoarder]

Walker 4x12 Reaction

I am starting it now!! Forgot about geri saying "boy listening " god

PLEASE, YOU'RE A MEDIC, SAVE HIM O_O

Goddamn the bark flying with those gunshots

OH MY GODDDDD LARRY

Jfc if they shot trey i was gonna lose it. Thank fuck

CORDELL'S RED RIMMED EYES AND BRUISED FACE 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Stella's hair looks so dark red in this hospital scene

When he started talking about his dream, it was soooo dorothy waking up back in kansas 👀👀👀

A MINUTE WITH MY DAUGHTER💗💗💗

Lmao abby bear-hugging larry, for real though (oh, is that why she’s Abby bear??)

Ughhh fucking captionsss, turn ONNNN

StellaCordi sceeeeene 👀👀👀👀👀

Cordi tearing up 🥺🥺🥺🥺

BABYGIRL

Yeah cordi you are so hypocritical on this lmfao. She IS your daughter

"I only did what you would've done."

"Stella, I'm a ranger"

DUDE, YOU WENT AGAINST PROTOCOL ALSO LMFAO what??

Not a little girl anymore

*hand clasp *

Ugh Geri already pissing me off lol

Lol cordi's annoyed "good morning"

Booyyy don't act like you're not suspicious

"Doctors cleared me for work" ...lol again with the doctor's note

She should've anticipated this by now, though! Like, her tone about this rubs me wrong.

Not expecting him to want to talk to the guy that tried to kill him?? CORDI?? girl you can be upset, but you're just sounding stupid rn

Yeah, you've hardly even spoken. But ma'am. You WERE distracted with your shit. And not that you can't have your shit, and not that his lying and going off on his own was ok, but YOU of ALL PEOPLE should've KNOWN something was wrong. Like, head up ass right now

Omg, not Cordi having a flashback of his dream. "You deserve the best" HES GONNA GUILT HIMSELF INTO MAKING A LIFE FOR GERI, FOR THE SAKE OF HOYT AND EMILY😱😰 i feel like i know exactly how the finale will end now and I'm kinda :/ about it but what can ya do (write fic)

She's right about making big decisions fresh after trauma. Like for real. Curttail that fucking marriage proposal

"So, tonight, after dinner. Yeah?"

"We’ll see." Hooooo girl. I know you won't but you could also run. 👀

Cassie 🥺🥺🥺

I like this song, damn

Listening to his message 😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭

I KNEW SHE'D SAY IT (i love you) BUT GODDAMN i kinda love the voicemail aspect 👀👀 so real, so romantic

Ok... so Geri was so upset about Cordi going back, but larry seems chill about it rn so... that was more about cordi lying than going to work. Girl, then actually come to him first. It felt like she was lying in wait to see what he'd do, instead of just starting the conversation.

Girl, you run too. You could run now, yknow.

I honestly can't remember if they've had this guy on their suspect list before now

Ooh Cordell's angry face looking at the pic! His nose going red.😳

Is this guy saying things to TRY to trigger Cordi's memory??? 👀👀👀

THE FEMALE VOICE

It's her!!

AUGUST'S BOOTCAMP GRADUATION

Omfg

Calling Cordell a "scumbag parent" for missing August's grad?? Like, it ain't good, but that's a stretch actually. Scumbag?? Puh-lease🙄🙄🙄

I love how jared falls into his memory, trailing off

CORDI, HAVE THE DAUGHTER SAY STUFF

CASSIE!

I mean i get it but DAMN. GIRL. IT IS THE SERIAL KILLER'S FAULT

They won't have enough time left in the season to have cordi go through a proper guilt spiral, but I'm stuffing this in the fic fodder, too

Having some trey bruise appreciation 👌👌

Look at abby and bonham, having a reasonable conversation

Goddd finally they are getting to the accomplice

Y'all a LOT more serial killers than that have had a partner. Not a TON, but way more than the dc snipers

Oh thank fuck they figured out the daughter. Jfc

(Fucking iphone commercial with the hugeass fish is so annoying lol. I just keep thinking about how the fish moves in a mechanical way, not the way a fish would be fighting. And there's no way this guy would be able to lift his hand off it to tap his fingers to take a pic. So then I'm like, well this is a stupid example of this phone's ability. It wouldn't even work.)

Ohhh hohoho "you and your daughter may be more alike than you realize" 👀👀👀👀👀👀 those parallels

She's gonna die, and cordell is gonna quit the rangers and work at the side step

To save stella (and give geri a life blah blah)

Yknow, it's interesting that cassie gets mad about cordell going off alone, when she's like that too. I mean, that's how she and cordell met in the first place. Everything full circle

😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯

She's gonna push herrr

👁👁👁👁👁

Trey is RIGHT THERE lol

Omg she actually pulled her up??

The sweat on her forehead 😳😳 nice shot

I fully expected her to take both her hands and "lose her grip" lol

Goddd cassie at the press conference 🥺🥺🥺 having to stand there not crying

Luna's picture 🥺🥺🥺🥺

So pretty and distinguished

Geri coming home to cassie. 👀👀👀 i pause every time i type lol so i have no idea what she's gonna say but I'm just over here like... y'all can comfort each other over lost loves you never confessed to. And maybe fuck about it

BUT TELL ME WHY GERI SOUNDS SO BORED WHEN SHE SAYS "it feels like your world's been turned upside down and inside out"

Geri again with "don't make any life altering decisions right now" yes i agree. Can we all stick to that please? If cordell proposes to you, can you please say no? Lololol

I mean like, she IS speaking from experience lol. She sold the sidestep and ran

she is just a very weak actor imo. It's frustrating

AND IT ENDED WITH TOUCHING AND HUGGING. AM I SUDDENLY A GERI/CASSIE TRUTHER????

LISTEN, WHEN MEN BREAK YOUR HEART (by dying or whatever) IT'S HEALTHY TO BE LESBIAN ABOUT IT. OKAY??? 👀👀👀

AAAH STELLA AND AUGIE ASLEEP ON THE COUCH

I AM THINKING THOTS!!

AND CORDI TAKES THE SEAT BY STELLA

I love themmmmm godddd

Goddd please let cordi talk it out with stella before geri lol. For ME

OMG HE WAS STROKING HER ARM AS THE SCENE ENDED. JARED, ARE YOU ON MY TUMBLR????😱😱😱

Lol rewatching now 😂😂

I really do wish we'd gotten a micki cameo on this

The stellacordi is a blatant parallel to the serial killers and i am like 👀👀👀👀 those two were a pair since she was a kid. Hmmmm

I'm so sad next week is the end. I'm biting my fingers over what the ending will be. Someone is gonna quit the rangers it feels like, and it feels like it'll be cordi

But omg, the way cassie looks at cordi in the opening scene, so shocked and bitter that he's alive and luna is dead

(ashley has to make up for what odette lacks in acting lmfao im so sorry)

I don't want him to quit for geri but rn it feels like we're heading that way

If they'd gotten a s5, they could do that and then bring him back lol. Or have geri leave to okc and then come back. I feel like i know where we're heading, but who knows

My brain can't not think as a writer, and put it into the perspective of serial storytelling

Stella's freckles in this episode are so cute

Cordell's "do as i say not as i do" attitude is so funny. He did not immediately learn his lesson

(A dawn commercial for professional dawn, talking about needing to do double duty cuz you're shortstaffed. Why are we putting predatory capitalism into our commercials? You're shortstaffed because it sucks to work there)

I love how roughed up and dirty Cordell's truck is

Geri is so annoyinggggg. I know my bitterness about her colors this but i cannot get over how much she treats cordell like she's his babysitter

The way she says "riiight. /the jackal/" doesn't sound like she's stressing the danger of him. It sounds like she's mocking the idea of him

Like "ooh what a scary name. Definitely what you should spend time on🙄"

Am i crazy?

Like they try to save it with "who tried to murder you" but the first half of that overshadows the paltry concern at the end

She just don't want him being a ranger

It doesn't feel like the relationship is for him. It's for OTHER PEOPLE

Cordell is a people pleaser

Even though he's absentee a lot, his decisions are often about other people and not himself personally

Sam aspect in his Dean personality

I don't want to nitpick about the "waived his right to counsel, which means he's willing to talk" because every cop show does it, but it always feels a little off kilter when they use a procedural cop show trope in this, a family drama. 😅

Like ughh. Don't like that actually. I know this guy is a serial killer, but he should have a lawyer

Cordell doesn't think about how his absence also has an effect

It's very John, actually. Trying to complete his mission to make sure his family is safe, meanwhile time passes like water through your fingers

Geri: Cordi, we need to talk. You LIED to me.

Also Geri: well I don't want to make this a whole thing, we can't have this conversation right now

Girl why did you ruin his day, actually😂😂😂😂

WAIT, is that Luna's bracelet cassie put on?? 👀👀👀👀👀👀 [bestie supplied: hair tie]

Cassie sitting on the bed with Luna's shirt vs Sam sitting on Dean's bed mourning with Miracle 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁

(The voicemail kills me cuz when my bff's mom died, she kept paying her phone service for YEARS so she could hear her voice)

😭😭😭

Cassie puts his shirt in vacuum wrap to preserve his scent, but the longer it's in there the more it just smells like plastic 👀👀👀

Cassie holding the hair tie now🥺🥺

Is it bad that i keep seeing cody Rhodes in the jackal's face? 😅😅😅 like the jaw isn't as square but i can't stop seeing it

We don't really get a backstory for why they started killing parents like this lol. I can't believe we got more backstory in Stella's thing with joanna😅🙃

"I do get where you were coming from...with that damn boat" lol but he still spent a ton of money without talking about it, knowing she will need money for their business. Like I'm glad they talked and shit, but still

Hahh the first time, I missed larry saying "i will bring your daughter in, safely" hahhhh puts an even bigger stake on Cassie's decision, storywise

Goddd i hope we get a cassie and ben scene in the finale

Cassie's eyes, swollen with tears 🥺👌

Aaaaand fade to black for sapphic petting.👀

I'm gonna rewatch the final Stella/Cordi scene a billion times now.💝

[thedelulureadersstuff]

Arrange marriage is scary, what if he doesn't want our place to look like my Pinterest board? What if he doesn't want a study room in our house? What if he doesn't want our place crowded with indoor plants? What if he doesn't read? Or cook? Oh my God the nightmare, what if he's Apolitical? What if he hates Taylor Swift? What if he doesn't wanna have cats and fishes? what if he doesn't like long drives or long walks or hiking? What if he doesn't like basketball? Or F1? Or worse case scenario what if he's not into any sports? Damn the fear is fr.. how am i supposed to know all that about an arranged partner before getting married??

[allthefoolmine]

Good Omens Fic / Ficlet Prompts

William Blake’s “Proverbs of Hell”, part of his mad and delightful The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, contains sixty-nine sayings. (All together now: nice!) The more I read them, the more I think they would be perfect prompts for Good Omens fic / ficlets, so here they are in the hopes that others might see and enjoy.

In seed-time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy.

Drive your cart and your plough over the bones of the dead.

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.

Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity.

He who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence.

The cut worm forgives the plough.

Dip him in the river who loves water.

A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.

He whose face gives no light shall never become a star.

Eternity is in love with the productions of time.

The busy bee has no time for sorrow.

The hours of folly are measured by the clock, but of wisdom no clock can measure.

All wholesome food is caught without a net or a trap.

Bring out number, weight, and measure in a year of dearth.

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

A dead body revenges not injuries.

The most sublime act is to set another before you.

If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise.

Folly is the cloak of knavery.

Shame is Pride’s cloak.

Prisons are built with stones of law, brothels with bricks of religion.

The pride of the peacock is the glory of God.

The lust of the goat is the bounty of God.

The wrath of the lion is the wisdom of God.

The nakedness of woman is the work of God.

Excess of sorrow laughs, excess of joy weeps.

The roaring of lions, the howling of wolves, the raging of the stormy sea, and the destructive sword, are portions of Eternity too great for the eye of man.

The fox condemns the trap, not himself.

Joys impregnate, sorrows bring forth.

Let man wear the fell of the lion, woman the fleece of the sheep.

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship.

The selfish smiling fool and the sullen frowning fool shall be both thought wise that they may be a rod.

What is now proved was once only imagined.

The rat, the mouse, the fox, the rabbit watch the roots; the lion, the tiger, the horse, the elephant watch the fruits.

The cistern contains, the fountain overflows.

One thought fills immensity.

Always be ready to speak your mind, and a base man will avoid you.

Everything possible to be believed is an image of truth.

The eagle never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn of the crow.

The fox provides for himself, but God provides for the lion.

Think in the morning, act in the noon, eat in the evening, sleep in the night.

He who has suffered you to impose on him knows you.

As the plough follows words, so God rewards prayers.

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

Expect poison from the standing water.

You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.

Listen to the fool’s reproach; it is a kingly title.

The eyes of fire, the nostrils of air, the mouth of water, the beard of earth.

The weak in courage is strong in cunning.

The apple tree never asks the beech how he shall grow, nor the lion the horse how he shall take his prey.

The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.

If others had not been foolish we should have been so.

The soul of sweet delight can never be defiled.

When thou seest an eagle, thou seest a portion of Genius. Lift up thy head!

As the caterpillar chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs on, so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys.

To create a little flower is the labour of ages.

Damn braces; bless relaxes.

The best wine is the oldest, the best water the newest.

Prayers plough not; praises reap not; joys laugh not; sorrows weep not.

The head Sublime, the heart Pathos, the genitals Beauty, the hands and feet Proportion.

As the air to a bird, or the sea to a fish, so is contempt to the contemptible.

The crow wished everything was black; the owl that everything was white.

Exuberance is Beauty.

If the lion was advised by the fox, he would be cunning.

Improvement makes straight roads, but the crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius.

Sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires.

Where man is not, nature is barren.

Truth can never be told so as to be understood and not to be believed.

Enough! or Too much.

If you do end up inspired by any of these, please tag me? I'd love to see what you come up with!

[princess-of-purple-prose]

[ID: A collection of tweets by fish marriage @/corviiid that read:

i finally got astarion's approval to "fair" instead of "neutral" and i went to say hello to him and he said "hello, my dear :)" for the first time ever. i feel like i just convinced a stray cat to lick my hand after weeks of bribing it with being a dick to strangers 

i swear astarion disapproves at the most wackadoodle times it's like  npc: where do you stand on the Evil Society for Setting Tiny Puppies and Kittens on Fire and Launching Them into the Atmosphere tav: think they're bad astarion: why are you such a fucking bleeding heart liberal 

back on my bullshit of astarion would make a terrible father an excellent uncle and a fucking hilarious stepdad

astarion's like hello darling lovely to see you i brought your children a tricycle and ummm this bottle of gin? and all my old textbooks in case they plan to take the any of the companions who have children will never want to call astarion to babysit but all their kids REALLY want astarion to come babysit because astarion is the one who is most likely to bring fireworks and allow them to watch horror movies until 3am 

astarion as a stepfather is like please don't call me dad, daddy, or father. it makes me sound old. you can call me astarion. if you must. actually please don't address me. we can peacefully coexist like fish in an aquarium. do you understand? the child is like (is 2 years old) 

astarion: wyll. you love me don't you wyll: no more does the grass need to be told it is green, nor the sky that it is blue, do you need me to tell you something that is so obviously true. but i will anyway. i love you. astarion: good! i broke your crockpot. don't be mad 

wyllstarion is wonderful because wyll is the only companion who would diligently hold a parasol over astarion's head forever so they could walk around in the daytime without a word of complaint 

astarion's like i bet i can chase him away if i act like a real fucking diva and insist he carry it for me forever. if im a real bitch about it he'll get tired of me. (watches wyll hold the parasol smilingly for hours at a time, with increasing concern) something wrong with him 

i really like that companions will have new dialogue right before the standard camp options pop up because it makes it seem like astarion tries to propose some batshit wild scheme and tav responds by benching him in the naughty corner 

astarion: ok no but think about it. like seriously think about it. we could control a cult. we could ummmmm step one defeat the cult step two something something step three we become gods. are you getting this? like are we vibing tav: i think you should stay in camp for a while. 

astarion politely pretending to read while i stand next to him repeatedly failing the sleight of hand check to pickpocket the amulet of silvanus from him so i can lesser restoration myself of bloodless so that i can stop having disadvantage on checks like sleight of hand 

all this felt less troublesome than kicking someone out of my party so i could recruit him so i could get the damn thing 

larian i love your game. will you please implement universal inventory at camp (Edited over this tweet is text in red font that says, “editor's note they have since done this love you larian thank you larian i no longer have to sadly rob astarion every time i bench him for saying some whack ass shit”)

karlach: gale d'you have a minute i just wanted to ask if--gale: hold on! i have to maintain concentration. this is very delicate work, and-- astarion, telepathically via tadpole: testicles gale's spell: explodes in his face gale: astarion: what! who said that. End ID]

got into bg3 a few months ago and it's about time i inflicted my astarion posts on tumblr. i sure post about him a lot. you'll never guess who my favourite character is. that's right! it's gale

[tenebriism]

Rothalion huffs, rolling his shoulders.

"You're getting slower, I feel. Or maybe I'm getting faster," he muses, returning his lance to its place at his back. He eyes Zenos, the hardness of his gaze softening as he catches his breath and the adrenaline lightens. He crosses the space between them, kneeling down next to Zenos and brushing back some of his hair from his face. Its caked in blood, and although Rothalion is not one to endeavour to cause extensive harm this is what Zenos likes. He's still alive, of course. Just... not in the greatest of physical states. Rothalion leans down, pressing a kiss to his temple. "Even so, you fought well."

The elezen laughs suddenly, tilting his head.

"I have wondered, my dear, what your reaction would be if I proposed to you. Perhaps now is a good time, given you're much to exhausted to flee as I suspect you would. Humour me a moment, would you?" Rothalion reaches into the bag upon his hip, fishing out a little black velvet box. He shifts himself onto one knee before Zenos, smiling and popping open the box to reveal the ring; classic gold with an aquamarine within the center lined in diamonds. "Zenos, will you marry me?" //It was far too funny of an idea to pass up, and one Ro is already like 100% ready to have rejected LMFAO. But also his bf is a gd weirdo so this particular timing is weirdly perfect you are correct >_>

He will admit to having performed poorly--- it's precisely why he'd agreed to the battle in the first place. When the body rebels, force it past its limit; any less, and he may a third grave for himself, thus time permanent if only the gods would stop toying with him. Tomorrow, though, he will demand a rematch and be back at his prime.

For now, he remains on the ground with his eyes cast to the sky, catching his breath as his ears ring and his body throbs in pain. The regeneration doesn't mend his wounds nearly as fast anymore, but he's thankful it's one of the few things he retained after the many hardships he'd put his own body through for power. "I want not for your pity dipped compliments, false as they are. I was not at my best; save your uplifting words for your weak comrades." Anything less than honesty is insulting, especially where the Warrior of Light is involved. Zenos has his good days, his great days, the days he manages to be the one standing over Rothalion instead of the other way around, and days like this where he mentally runs the battle through his head again, noting what went wrong and where. He isn't upset, nay--- it gives him more to improve, more to change, more to work towards. Tactics and weaponry can be switched up, and this? This is all a game to him.

He can feel his skin begin to tingle... a prickling sensation that is both soothing and somewhat painful. Means his skin is closing itself back up, not a single bruise to be left thereafter, but it's a lengthy process. He regards Ro briefly -- ' hms ' out of exhaustion as the elezen starts rummaging for something, and closes his eyes to block out the pounding of his head, in the meantime, as he waits.

" ... " Insanity. Zenos believes it to be pure, undeniable insanity, but could it truly be denied even before it got to this point? It really shouldn't come as a surprise, yet Zenos has the audacity to slowly open his eyes and stare Ro square in the face, waiting for the joke.

" You put me on my backside and then ask for my hand in marriage... " With a ring he can tell isn't a prop or illusion, which leaves him questioning how long Rothalion has had the damn thing. " You are... full of surprises. " He's slipping... slipping, but still staring. Still waiting for Rothalion to giggle and say ' just kidding! '

He doesn't...

" ... tell me, when did you procure this offering? And why? Another tactic of battle, much like the first time you put your lips on me? Or are you attempting to claim me, despite having done so already? Well? "