#GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER THAT MAKES SENSE LOGICALLY FOR WHAT IM TRYING TO GODDAMN DO

[digitaldiseas3]

i just need everyone in the world to Get Their Shit Together Or I Will Fucking Hurt Someone

[violetwinterwidow01]

Civil War: Dumbfounded (AU)

This popped in my mind, i had to throw in my 2 cents😜

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Imagine

Before Ross leaves, Cevyn grabs his attention.

Cevyn: Hmm, seems like he finally grew some balls, but allow me to crush them before you go...

He drops his head, sends his security out of the room and turns around. Everyone's eyes land on her as she absentmindedly swivels in her chair staring up at the ceiling. Cevyn lulls her head to the side, to look at Ross, and scoots up folding her hands on the table.

Cevyn: If you could give us a logical explanation as to WHO or WHAT is going to save this planet from the next alien invasion, we will gladly get out of what little hair you have left...

She rises out of her seat before he can speak.

Cevyn: And if you're gonna stand there naming off the Army, The Navy, The Seals, The Air Force, Police, Firefighters, Doctors, Scientists, pretty much anybody that has no goddamn expertise in this field... youre gonna need a third tripple bypass fucking around with me.

Rhodey snickers. She smiles.

Rhodes: Cev, calm down-

She cuts Rhodey off.

Cevyn: I am calm. Im simply waiting for an answer.

All eyes are set upon Ross as he blankly stares at the enraged yet calm woman hes been afraid of since the day they met.

Heres a backstory on Cevyn and Ross. The hatred runs deep. When Cevyn was 10 , Fury thought it would be a good idea for them to meet so that Ross was made aware of her powers, but mostly because Fury wanted to know if he could trust him, and the only way he could tell was if Cevyn shook his hand. Shaking hands allowed her to read someone, sense their aoura, and to see into their future. Seeing everything caused Cevyn to snatch her hand away and give him a death glare that could make Satan piss himself. From that point on, Cevyn knew that she would never get along with him, so she stayed as far away as she possibly could. Until she became an Avenger.

She saunters standing in front him. At this point everyone can see how intimidated he his by her. She snaps her fingers to get him out of his daze.

Cevyn: You have nothing to say do you? Because that's exactly who you were going to put in place of us weren't you?

Ross looks around the room for any signs of help. Wanda looks down, Vision looks straight ahead, Sam looks behind him, Natasha smirks, Rhodey lightly chuckles, Steve's shaking his head grinning, and Tony... you know those really good silent laughs you get? Yeah, thats where he is.

Cevyn: After all these years, still the same dumb ass expression on your face. Do you know the real reason why we do this, cause if not I'll be happy to break it down for you. We do this because we love this planet. Its the only one we call home. Nobody else can do what we do. Yes, there will be consequences. Yes, there will be collateral damage. But we can't help it when that happens. It shows that we are trying our best to control the situation, and save lives all at the same damn time. Do you have any idea how hard this shit is?

At this point, her body is vibrating with malice, yet she never raises her voice and masks it with laughter. Steve gets up to rub his wife's shoulders coaxing her down, while the team watches the scene unfold before their eyes. Tony sits in the corner burying his face in his hands, trying his hardest to suppress his snickering.

Rhodes: Tony, nows not the time to laugh.

Cevyn: You're one to talk. Over here about to keel over in laughter, go ahead and laugh because it is funny. This asshole has been a joke since the day Fury took me to meet him. The nerve of you walkin' up in here with the gall and the gumption to give us this bullshit proposal, basically saying you wanna keep us on a leash. In case you've forgotten, we're here at our own free fucking will, so Ill be damned if any of us will turn into somebodys bitch. This aint prison.

Natasha/Sam/Wanda: Oh my god🤭🤭🤭

Cevyn: You wanna know why i despise you so much? Youre sneaky, conniving, undermining, and repulsive. But, more importantly, it's the fact that you don't let your brain catch up to your actions. You do before you think, and that is highly disturbing. All im sayin is that You need us, and until you figure that out you can shove these accords right up your scrotum. I'm going to take a nap.

Cevyn shoves the accords into his chest walking out of the room. Tony can't contain his laughter any longer, and neither can the rest of the team. Steve chuckles and halls ass to follow his wife.

Steve: Sweets???

Cevyn: Steve, i dont wanna hear it. That imbecille has been a thorn in my side since i was 10. 10!!! Do you know how fucked up you have to be for a child to realize, "Hmm, theres something wrong with this mothafucker! Piece of shit dont know left from right, north to south or yes from no." Its time someone had the cojones to knock some sense into him.

Steve calms down from laughter. God he loves this woman.

Steve: First if all, language. Secondly i was just gonna say you were right.

Cevyn: Well, Thank you.

He wraps his arms around her waist, kissing her. He pulls back.

Steve: How are you feeling?

Cevyn: Tired. Not even showing that much, and this baby of yours is already kicking my ass. On top of that this asswipe comes in here causing a ruckus.

Steve laughs again. She joins in.

Steve: Can you see what he's gonna do next?

Cevyn: Ol' dumbass is gonna have chat with the United Nations. They're gonna realize what a terrible mistake this is and that if they were to go through with it, they'd be losing half of earth's mightiest superheroes. This also buys us more time to get to Bucky.

Steve quirks an eyebrow looking down at her and her stomach.

Steve: Us???

Cevyn: Yes. Me, you and Sam. Ill detach my conscience so she can go with you guys. She wont be pregnant.

Steve: okay.

Cevyn: Now, since all is said and done, take a nap with your wife and child.

She wraps her arms around his shoulders, leaving lingering kisses all over his neck. He scrunches up his nose.

Steve: A nap?

Cevyn: Yup. Why?

Steve: I was hoping to do something else. What you did back there, made me feral.

She pauses mid kiss, Pulling away.

Cevyn: Even more than you normally are?

He deadpans.

Steve: Im offering you some head. Take it or leave it.

Cevyn: Fine.

[wisteria-lodge]

lion primary + slightly burnt lion secondary (badger secondary model) (bird secondary model)

i hope you’re having an amazing day!! here’s my SHC dilemma:

i know my primary is lion, and it feels a little exploded, at that, but at least i know what’s up. but im still extremely confused about my secondary. i tried looking through other submissions, but i didn’t really find anything i vibed with 100%, but then again i have adhd and im really struggling going through all that text, it just kinda blurs together at some point

so, my secondary. taking the test, i always get burnt, often with a vague hint towards bird. at first i immediately adopted that and decided i was a burnt bird, but the more i go the less that feels right to me and i think it might be some sort of model.

Yeah. “doesn’t feel right.” Definitely see the Lion in your sorting.

working by elimination, im pretty certain im not a snake secondary. that ish doesn’t even sound real to me, i know there are people like this because i know a couple, but it’s just so weird to me that some people are just able to improvise so effectively, and seemingly change themselves like that, and they?? enjoy it?? it does sound dope, like i admire it, but wtf. 

Lion secondaries can get very *does not compute* when trying to get their head around Snake secondaries. I’m considering Lion for you. 

i do act differently in different situations or with different people, but i don’t think i have “personas” as much as degrees of awkwardness 

I see the burnt secondary. You’re definitely talking yourself down here. But the way you talk about “degrees of awkwardness” does make me think about the way Lion secondaries “change faces” by modulating intensity. 

depending on how much my anxiety is acting up, and the more anxious i am, the more i act like a doormat and revert to the proper manners i was taught, but like… that’s not me, and it’s not done on purpose, i don’t enjoy it. 

Looks like somebody’s got an unhealthy Badger secondary model.

it feels gross not to be able to act like myself, whatever the hell that is.

And you didn’t vibe with the Lion descriptions? This is the first time I’m reading though this and… very interested to get to the part where you talk about why you think you’re not a Lion. 

im also convinced im not a bagder - my mother is, and there are a lot of those in my community, so i was raised thinking that was the best way to be, an ideal to work towards, but it’s just not comfortable for me, i don’t wanna do it.

Yeah, this would that  unhealthy Badger secondary model you were talking about. ^

i don’t even think i *can* do it. i mean, “showing up and doing the work” is pretty hard with adhd, and not even the most efficient way of getting stuff done (at least for me), and thinking of the group and what i can do in that group is annoying. also i get that asking for help is important sometimes but it still feels like that’s just admitting i can’t figure out how to do it myself, which, yikes (don’t come at me i know it’s unhealthy)

Hey, breathe. It’s okay. Nobody is going to make you be a Badger secondary. Clearly you’ve spent enough time struggling under the weight of a model that doesn’t suit you, and now you’re pushing back against everything Badger extra hard. 

id rather find a group im a good fit for instead of molding myself to please others. 

See, that’s an exaggerated, caricatured way of conceptualizing how a Badger secondary works… but I’m not surprised that you think about it that way.

whatever i do, it needs to come from me.

… you’ve got a very loud Lion secondary. 

anyway im somewhere between lion and bird, and at first i thought i was a bird because i do in fact fricking love learning everything i can, i wouldn’t naturally call it “collecting”, i’m just doing whatever’s interesting in the moment

You mean you learn by improvising? :) Like a Lion? :) 

but sure, why not - i like collecting languages, knowledge about different cultures, books, music, space, countries, medicine, anything and everything, and i sometimes spend hours researching random stuff that im never actually gonna use “just in case im stranded in the wilderness and need to make soap” you feel? but it’s not actually because i think it might be useful (though i do get random bouts of anxiety over not knowing how to do certain stuff “in case” even though the probability id need them is infinitesimal).

Loving knowledge does not make you a Bird secondary. I’m hearing you talk about about a thing you do for fun, and - this is key - a thing you use as  a mechanism to cope with anxiety. ADHD can sometimes make you feel very scattered, going too fast, and your Bird is giving you [the illusion of] control. And I’m not going to knock that. The illusion of control is important. 

i just like knowing things and being able to use those things to do stuff. i wanna be “that guy” you can come to with the most obscure problem and they’d have some way of dealing with it. doesn’t that sound pretty bird?

Okay. Here’s the deal. You like Bird secondaries. You think they’re cool, and badass. Maybe you’d like to be one. But I’m still not at all convinced you are. I haven’t heard you use it to solve problems. 

but i can’t actually do that stuff. i think i used to, when i was a teenager? but depression and undiagnosed adhd kinda kicked my ass, among a few other things, and now i don’t really have the brain power for it and i feel like im not actually able to learn things as well, or to even think straight.

Wow. That is some burnt secondary talk. I can’t do things. 

(I promise you, people with ADHD have absurd brain power, and can learn things crazy well, although not in the same way as neurotypicals. You are right about not thinking straight, which I am interpreting as “in a straight line.” ADHD people think in webs and corkscrews and I love it.) 

 or if i did, i can’t learn as *many* things as i need to feel accomplished? which idk what you think but it kinda just sounds like burnt bird to me. 

Feeling like the secondary you have isn’t good enough can be a Burnt thing... but feeling like you need to manifest a specific secondary *more* (which is what this feels like) is usually a sign of a model. 

but here’s the thing. all of those sound real nice. and cool. and a good way of doing things, maybe even the “right” way, even though i know that’s subjective. but lion just feels more comfy, and idk if that’s because im a burnt bird modeling lion or if it’s smth else.

… you mean… like being… a Lion?

cause the “collecting skills and knowledge to solve problems” thing sounds cool, but it’s actually more just the first part that i vibe with? the part where i get to learn stuff! but when actually solving problems, i don’t usually think too long, i just vibe. i see where my instinct is taking me and i apply reason *after* that, or like, as a secondary, support thing. im not a dumbass either, im good at puzzles and logic problems, i can totally think things through and use my skills! but that’s not really how i approach problem-solving. i just jump into the situation and see what part of it is closest and start there, or what’s convenient, or what just feels right or nicer or whatever.

This is a perfect description of a Lion secondary with a supportive Bird model. Like a LOT of neurodivergent people (hi!) you built yourself some scaffolding using the Bird toolbox.

and on one hand it could be that im not confident in my skillset enough to do things the bird way, but on the other hand, thinking back to my childhood and teenage years, when i had better executive skills and i wasn’t as completely scatterbrained as i am I now (i was, but not as bad in some ways), i still did this? like, all of my major life decisions where made on the spot based on instinct and nothing else

I’m definitely seeing the Lion primary come though as well. 

whenever i have a problem of the interpersonal sort i just face it and talk to the person and don’t bother hiding or sugarcoating things even if it means hurting that person because i don’t want to lie or come off as something i’m not, when i need to work on a project i don’t bother planning, i just jump in and a strategy forms in an organic way as i go, you know what i mean? isn’t that what this “charging” business means?

Yes.

anyway i have no idea which one is a model and which one is actually mine. i love learning things but i don’t care about actually using them. i mean i like it, of course, but it’s whatever. planning is tedious and it kinda gives me validation because im meant to be “smart” and i guess planning is what smart people do, but it’s annoying and nothing ever goes exactly to plan anyway so you just have to pause and plan again or whatever, and that’s just so boring and frustrating??

I get that you like Bird secondaries, and I get that the picture of “smart person” in your head looks like a Bird secondary but just like… come on…

why not just do the damn thing?? and then what you have to do will be obvious anyway?? and sure, if you planned ahead, maybe you’d already know what you need to do and you’d have prepared it and you’d do it better, but who’s got the time for that?? i can’t use my brain like that! i need to live the thing before it actually feels real enough for me to think about solving it.

I have never read anything more Lion secondary in my entire goddamn life.

i hope this actually made sense and i gave enough relevant information, my head kinda feels jumbled right now. i mean it makes sense to me but i don’t know how this reads from an outside perspective. maybe i should have planned this like an essay or whatever lmao

thanks a lot for answering these & running this blog!!! it’s dope and you give really good insights and you’re just a super cool person!

<3 <3 <3