#GET ME A FUCKING WIFE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
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so i made the mistake of reading seema anand's the arts of seduction and istg i will destroy any person who comes within a ten feet radius of me i WANT A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND.
#raj shitposting#i am waiting to just kill a man and steal his girlfriend at this point.#this woman has ruined ao3 for me.#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!?!?!#istg i am going to have the most unhinged dreams of my life for a week now and it's making me feral.#her entire book is like that one really gay ass post i made about giving my hypothetical girl a bath and it's titillating ugh.#i need a girlfriend who uses 3 different scents in all her erogenous zones to drive me crazy so bad.#i need that thing she talked about that shit with jewelry i want that shit- she talked about grinding with a jingling kamarbandh on.#WITHOUT LETTING THE LITTLE BELLS ON IT MAKING A SOUND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.#that is the most feral shit i have ever read fuck i'm gonna be so rich- jfc i'll buy my girlfriend all the fucking kamarbandhs she NEEDS.#KAMARBANDHS ARE SEXY AS THEY ARE YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT THIS IMAGE IN MY BRAIN HOW TF AM I GONNA LIVE- FUCK IT I WANT A WIFE.#I WANNA GET MARRIED.#GET ME A FUCKING WIFE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
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ishqbaaz 30.01.18 lb
ok aaj bohut dino baad mood hai, for some reason. so here we go.
ugh man as much as i’ve been railing on shivaay these days on the blog, it’s super hard to see tej be such a fucking asshole to him. like shivaay sucks in a lottttt of ways, but this is one area he’s absolutely irreproachable in and i will not stand for this fuckery.
his hurt eyes. ugh. fuck me.
also, interesting framing in this scene. normally shivaay looks slighter than everyone else. but in this scene, he’s shorter, but looks bigger. (am i making sense?) possibly because he’s the bigger man in this situation?
YO MAN WHAT IS TEJ EVEN ON, THIS BOY IS LIKE BARELY 3 - 4 YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR OLDEST AND HE RAISED YOUR DAMN KIDS FOR YOU COZ YOU SUCK FUCKING DIE ALREADY TEJ I HATE YOU SO MUCHHHHHHHHHH
interesting how shivaay, who never used to listen to his heart, instructed om to go with his heart. in so many ways, he gave omru the chances and opportunities he never gave himself.
god shivaay, just call him out on his BS.
i miss pinky. she woulda fully gone #mamaBear and destroyed tej’s punk ass.
ok nakuul’s beginning to ham. ugh fucking why, it was an impactful scene before he started to overact.
daaaaaaang shivaay being all “aap bohut bade raees hai”; maarofying anika-waale khuddaari dialogue.
lol duniya gol hai, aur har paap ka double role hai.
ok have i just not watched this show ~PROPERLY for a while, or is surbhi’s acting kinda OTT rn???
shariffuudddin!!!!!! is very comfortable making these evil, incriminating statements out loud in front of his driver. must be nice to have that level of trust in somebody.
anika, why are you even wasting your breath?
WHEN WILL TEJ DIE?!?!?!?!!?!?!? IS KARMA A THING OR NOTTTTTT
oh ho. oh ho ho. SHIVAAY BHI DATTTT KE MAIDAAAN MEIN!!!!!!!! MERE BHAIYON KO MUJHSE DUUR KAR SAKTE HAI LEKIN ALAG NAHI!!!!!!!!! WAH WAH!!!!!!!!
god i really hope i don’t have to watch shivOmRu break apart. coz i can’t. i fucking can’t. it’ll physically damage my fucking heart ok.
waaah, goa also has karni sena types, eh?
WHY EVEN IS BHAVYA IN THIS SCENE LIKE SHE’S SUCH A MISMATCH IN EVERY WAY
MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD SHE’S CRYING MORE THAN GAURI ALSO WHICH.... LIKE, WHY???????/
ohnoe omRu, don’t be mean to billu.
totally fwding these stupid arson scenes.
WAAAAAAH!!!!! CALL OMRU SHANE WARNE, COZ WHAT A GOOGLY. AMAZING.
RUDRA’S SWEET-AS-PIE FACE AND DELIVERY. BEST.
lolololol tej’s DRAT! FOILED AGAIN!!!!! face
ugh dadiiiii ka drama.
LMAO OM “YEH TOH INKA ROZ KA HAI” LEGIT CANNOT STOP LOLING
ugh why does this stupid show and its bhaichaara BS get me so hyped???????? like, i’m a fucking only child.i don’t even care about siblings??????????? BUT FUCK ME EVERY TIME ONE OF THESE ASSHOLES TALKS ABOUT THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER I’M JUST HERE LIKE
cannot able to stop staring at kunal’s hair. such silky, much luxurious. want to touch. willing to pay tondy rubees. (@nandu on twitter keeps saying this, and now it’s my standard amt for all transactions.)
OMFG PAIR CHOONA I CAN’T GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
gauri’s happy face giving me liiiiife. what a pretty. ouff yaar give shrenu more scenes. at least have her visible more.
lmao tej’s faceeeeeee.
HEIN SUDDENLY SHIVAAY IS TALLEST?
again, framing. because he’s literally “the bigger man” in situation.
but also cannot stop laughing at thought of nakuul on tippy toes during the shot. hee hee hee.
everytime shivaay kisses one of his brothers/children (of course gauri is included), 3 years get added my lifespan.
I SWEAR TO GOD GULNEET BETTER PERSONALLY SEND A HITMAN TO MY HOUSE AND KILL ME DEAD BEFORE THEY MAKE ME WATCH SHIVOMRU BREAK APART I WILL SET THE WORLD ON FIRE I WILL
daaaaaaaang, om used logic and rationality!!!!! OMRU ROCK, PUBLIC SHOCK!!!!!!!!!
arre abhi toh kiya tha obro hug. kya baar baar?
anika also patting the boys. ouff. my heart.
LMAO TEJ IS LIKE A FUCKING SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN (“i’d have got away with it tooooo, if it weren't for that meddling kid!!!!!!“)
shariffudddin i swear to god i don’t care if you’re 6 feet wide and twice as tall, i will fully get into the screen and beat your ass into the next dimension if you target my brOT3. don’t test me, son.
snort, rudra’s shot at shivika’s do do shaadis.
oh okay, oberoi naam ka akad you want to remove? go ahead. he could use some of that.
OMFG SUMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *cries tears of blood*
coz today hasn’t been enough of a clusterfuck for shivaay already, he’s received “hi your bldg is on fire” phone call also.
god i hope he’s been taking his heart meds.
ok i swear to god i want to beat his damn ass, why the fuckkkkk can’t ever tell his goddamn wife what’s going on JFC HE’S PATHOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE OF TELLING HER THE TRUTHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Calyss Watches the Clone Wars - 49
It’s been a while! Gotta be honest, the droid episode was boring as shit and killed my interest for a few weeks. But I really really wanna know what’s up with Mortis and it’s coming soon so... But for now:
01x22 - Hostage Crisis.
So, Cad Bane once again is up to no good, this time with friends
Jeez, I wonder who he has in mind... Seriously, how much d'you wanna bet Padmé's gonna get abducted?
Heyyyyy, it's... Well, shit, I forgot the name of that bounty hunter chick. The one who had a thing with Hondo! Antenna girl! The sniper! The one that Ahsoka totally didn't kill that one time! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Oh they got a smol fishy pal.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH, Anakin is supposed to be on a meditative retreat!! Why is this so funny?
Oh boy, this dialogue. Let me, just grab a transcript.
Anakin: "Hey, I'm supposed to be on a meditative retreat. We should go away together. I know a place far from here where no one would recognize��us. Yeah, it would be like we're actually husband and wife, instead of Senator and Jedi."
oooooooooooooh
Padmé: "I... I can't, Ani." Anakin: "What do you mean you can't? It's only two weeks, we'll be back before anyone even notices we're gone."
Yeah. Right.
Padmé: "I have to bring this bill before the Senate. It's important." Anakin: "More important than the way you feel about me?" Padmé: "Not more important, but important. The work I do, the work we both do, is in service to the Republic. To protect those who would otherwise be powerless to protect themselves." Anakin: "Of course, but those are ideals."
Yeah, they're not like, real thing we're actually suppose to do, right???
Anakin: "Isn't our love more important to you?" Padmé: "But I..." Anakin: "No, no "but". To me there's nothing more important than the way I feel about you. Nothing."
WE GET IT SKYWALKER YOU LOVE HER YOU DREAMED ABOUT HER FOR YEARS YOU WRITE SONNETS ABOUT HER YOU'LL KILL YOUNGLINGS FOR HER JEEZ CALM DOWN WE GOT IT
Padmé: "Anakin, don't be so..."
YEAH DON'T
Anakin: "You don't believe me.” Padmé: "I didn't say..." Anakin: "I'll prove it."
"Fetch me some younglings."
AHAHAHAHAHHA omg I have a dirty mind.
So Anakin's like "when I made my lightsaber, Obi-Wan said (because of course quoting Obi-Wan Kenobi when you tryna prove to your wife how much you love her is the way to go) THIS WEAPON IS YOUR LIFE, so here, TAKE IT I INSIST", and she's like no thanks, keep your shitty life (okay I'm exaggerating but only slightly) but he puts it in her hand and she says:
I'm sorry but anything relating to the size or shape (or weight in this case) of a lightsaber is bound to make me laugh.
Cue dramatic Star Wars music and making out. I'm not saying that it validates the idea that the lightsaber is not only a metaphor for his life but also for his dick but I don't see a lot that contradicts it here.
SMOL FISHY PAL He's so ugly i love him.
YOU SO DUMB PADME. Seriously there is no need to tell Anakin to hide because Bail's here! EVERYONE knows you're at least buddies and I don't think Bail got a memo telling him that Anakin was away on a meditative retreat so as far as Bail knows, there's nothing weird about Anakin being there to see his buddy the Senator!
Lol and of course she goes to her meeting with Anakin’s lightsaber which imo both means that he's gonna need it soon and that she left him with blue balls.
*snaps fingers* HER NAME IS AURA SING
Bail: "What are you going to do? It's not like we carry weapons." Padmé's face: HEY GUESS WHAT
Not like she knows how to use it but.
Anakin Skywalker in one picture:
It's real nice to see Palpatine trapped in a situation he did not provoked and being like "oooooooh, shit, better call the Jedi for help" :DDDD
Seriously, what was he hoping would happen?
Padmé: "The lightsaber, I've got it." Bail: "What? Why do you have a Jedi's lightsaber?" Padmé: "The question is whether we should try and get it back to Ana... The Jedi Knight."
"How DARE you insinuate that this Jedi Knight whose name I don't even know offered me his metaphorical dick life a bit earlier how very dare you Bail you just lost one rank in the list of the people to whom I'd give my unborn daughter for keep safe should I tragically died!"
She never came around to give Obi-Wan the updated list.
FFS STOP SHOCKING HIM
Force knows he already got enough brain damage as it is.
Aura Sing about Anakin: "Tie your little pet up. We'll bring him to Bane."
On one hand: yes. One the other: lady, that’s rude, he’s a person.
Kinky.
Hum, methink someone fucked up here by giving this line to what seems to be a clone. But also, oh my god, Ziro, stop being such a drama queen. Well, guess he's just trying to fit in.
Ow look at Chuchi taking care of her good pal Anakin. You can bet she doesn’t try to pretend she doesn’t know him.
I call this one: “The Boys: Coming in Too Late.”
Well this episode was much better :)
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#star wars#the clone wars#calyss watches the clone wars#anakin skywalker#padmé amidala#cad bane#aura sing#sheev palpatine#ziro the hutt#tcw1
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