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#GET GET BUSY ‼️ PUSH IT BUDDY ‼️‼️
overheaven · 1 year
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I’M SOOOOOOOO CRAZY ABOUT IT I AM SOOOOO ABNORMAL ABOUT IT I AM SOoooOOO GOING TO LOSE SLEEP OVER IT 🔥🔥🔥
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Bungo Stray Dogs Headcanons, but it’s only the characters that I think deserve more attention
I'm currently on a BSD kick, so have these headcanons while I feel ✨Inspired✨
I'll take requests for other characters, these two are just the only ones I have inspiration for right now.
Tw: Aku’s a yandere so yeah. He’s also kinda just a violent disaster of a person in general.
Ryuunosuke Akutagawa
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🖤‼️ I got one word for you, and that word is Yandere. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. If you manage to catch his eye, he will kill to keep you by his side. He’s certainly a dangerous one, so watch your back! Yes, he will kidnap you. You kinda brought this on yourself by searching ‘Akutagawa x reader’
🖤‼️He has no idea what love is, actually. He just knows that the world is a dangerous place and he’s the only one strong enough to protect you. It’s going to be a while before he can put a name to this strange feeling, so just sit tight while he figures it out.
🖤‼️Gets a lot of advice from Chuuya, mostly. It’s not that everyone else doesn’t already know that he’s helplessly in love with you, it’s that they’re all scared of him. Chuuya is the only one who isn’t, and thusly he is the advice giver. He actually gives surprisingly good advice, despite his rather angry personality.
🖤‼️It’ll be a while before he trusts anyone else around you. Eventually, you’ll basically be an honorary member of the Port Mafia, but for the LONGEST time he refuses to let anyone else even speak to you. Chuuya does not give a fuck, and visits you while Aku’s out on a mission. Don’t worry, Short Ginger’s got your back. He’ll be your best buddie and wingman.
🖤‼️He has absolutely no clue how to socialize like a normal person. You think Dazai took the time out of his busy schedule to teach Aku how to function socially? Absolutely not. He was too busy turning Aku into the perfect killing machine. Aku is incredibly blunt and literal about everything, and he takes everything way too seriously. 90% of jokes will fly straight over his head, which is pretty funny in its own right.
🖤‼️Gin is the first person Aku trusted with you. She’s his sister, after all. You’ll likely become friends with her, which pleases Aku. He wants all the important people in his life to get along.
🖤‼️If you’re not already a secret badass, become one. Just trust me. Aku is very into that. If you suddenly whip out a gun and save his ass by shooting a bitch without hesitation, he’ll be hooked forever. He’ll be so stunned in the moment that he won’t be able to function properly. Remember that scene in season 3, episode 11? Where he just said yes to everything? Yeah he relapses into that.
🖤‼️Please validate him. Tell him he’s the best and the strongest. He needs to hear it from somebody he cares about. And maybe try to convince him to not seek after Dazai’s validation so much. Does his opinion really even matter? I mean, he certainly doesn’t seem to care about Aku.
🖤‼️He spends more time in the infirmary than out of it. This hard-headed idiot pushes himself well past the limits of what his frail body can handle LITERALLY EVERY FIGHT. You’re going to be spending a lot of time sitting by his hospital bed hoping he’ll wake up from whatever coma he’s currently in. Somebody needs to tell him not to push himself so hard, and it may as well be you.
🖤‼️Please make him take care of himself. Force feed him if you have to, but this boy needs a sandwich. Good gracious, he’s a fucking toothpick. There is no meat on his little toothpick bones. Make him bathe, too. At least make him wash his hair and put on deodorant.
🖤‼️No, he will not let you steal his coat. He will get you a matching one, if it’s really that important to you.
🖤‼️Aku opposes physical affection at first, especially in public. He can’t have people thinking he’s a softie! Eventually, he’ll warm up to it. Only in private, though. Unless he happens to be jealous. Then he needs to show this other guy who you belong to.
🖤‼️Over all, probably the third most dangerous pick in the show. First being Fyodor, and second being Shibusawa Tatsuhiko. It’s not that he lacks power or ruthlessness, just that he has a very obvious issue that can be fixed with some hard work and dedication. He needs lots of validation, and to have some sense beaten into him from time to time.
Edgar Allen Poe
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🤎🦝 Oh gosh I love this underrated mf so much- there really isn't enough content of this sweet introvert baby- Anyway, Poe is the sweetest, shyest little bean pole. I think he would like someone who won't abandon him at parties. *ahem* ranpo *ahem* He would also love it if you would read his stories and give him positive feedback. Please. Just do it. He deserves it.
🤎🦝He does have some… interesting… mood swings. Honestly, he can be moodier than most girls on their periods (i can say that, because I’M a girl). One minute he’ll be happy and cheerful, and the next he’ll be Tamaki-Amajiki-ing in the corner. If you don’t know what that means, go watch My Hero Academia. 
🤎🦝He and Karl are a packaged deal, obviously. I’m sorry if you have some deathly fear of raccoons (if you do, then why the heck are you simping for raccoon man??) but that’s how it is. Karl is his best buddie, and will be your best buddie too. Look on the bright side, you get to pet a fluffy raccoon!
🤎🦝You met during one of the ADA’s office parties, which Poe attended to show Ranpo his latest novel. Unfortunately, Ranpo is easily distracted and abandoned poor Poe within five minutes. Seeing the incredibly nervous introvert in the corner, you decided to talk to him. Congratulations! You now have a second shadow! Poe is so incredibly insecure in social situations that he will cling to you for as long as you’re willing to put up with him, even if you’re also introverted.
🤎🦝If you like to write, he would love to read your writing! He’ll give you pointers on how to make your writing better. Y’all meet up regularly to discuss your latest projects, read each other’s work, and give each other tips and ideas.
🤎🦝He is WAY too shy to confess to you on his own. He writes so many letters, but never has the courage to send them. He also practices with Karl daily, and still can’t handle the pressure. Somebody please help him-
🤎🦝He tries to ask Ranpo for advice (probably a bad idea) and Ranpo outs him immediately. (“Oh, you’re crushing on y/n, aren’t you?”) Ranpo advises him to just confess already. The World’s Greatest Detective definitely already knows that you’re crushing on Poe. It doesn’t take a genius to see how much you’re pining for each other!
🤎🦝Cafe dates!! Library dates!! Anywhere decently quiet and calm. Poe really doesn’t like large crowds, so maybe no big social gatherings. He enjoys just relaxing at home and reading next to you.
🤎🦝Loves physical affection, but is so so so shy about initiating it. Please just grab him and snuggle him so he doesn’t have to worry about it. Hold his hand! Give him kisses, if you can reach! He absolutely loves to cuddle. With how tall he is, he makes a great big spoon. He could probably just envelope your entire body with his.
🤎🦝Apparently he’s also rich?? Not certain if this is canon (edit: it is!!!) or not but we’re going with it anyway. That way, he can spoil you. If you like to read, he will buy you so many books. You’ll never have time to read them all. Artist? He’ll buy you art supplies! Any other hobbies? Taken care of. Saw a cute necklace/dress/outfit/whatever? It’s on your doorstep within a week.
🤎🦝All in all, a phenomenal pick. Perhaps the best in the show (in my opinion, anyway). Yeah he’s super clingy and insecure, and has some interesting mood swings, but he’s still just a good lad who deserves all the love in the world. Plus he has a pet raccoon, and that’s just really cool.
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jimmyswhirl · 4 years
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