#Full of Dat Weed

[alanisstonedd]

deeblockduke hcs

duke dennis x black!reader

cw: cussing, fluffffff, lil spice no full smut, mention of public & butt stuff, food play

an: ran back this song by my hubby & realized it reminds me of dukey 🥹 so here’s some hcs my shmookies

✯ you fr thought the relationship was finna be TOO CALM bcs he be acting nonchalant let’s be real. but boy was yo ass wronggg. it takes him a sec to warm up but once he does, he literally falls deeper & more passionately in love with you every fuckin day. you literally become his rock, his safe space, his muse girl. his actual everything.

✯ calls you randomly just to hear your voice. the vibrations in your voice literally release dopamine in his body stg. he’ll be like “whatchu doin bae” “oh yuh, how dat goin” “wait, lemme see whatchu got on” “but you saw me leave this morning bae” “i know baby, just show me again i’m tryna see you” “oooo damn you perfect…. okay…. i miss you mane, text me later bae?” just running his damn mouth tryna get whatever you’ll give him while yall not physically together

✯ leaves you love notes in your stuff. in RANDOM ASS SPOTS. like in your pockets - that’s his main spot. very frequently in your purse or folded up in the back of your phone case. on his pillow when he’s up earlier than you. on the bathroom mirror. & it’s not affirmations and shit either girl. it’s like “seeing you happy is like seeing 1,000,000 stars light up the sky. more beautiful & incredible than i could’ve ever imagined or dreamed.” jaw dropped the fuck, all jokes aside you really start to bring out the lil poet in him. “the smallest inch of your skin on mine feels electrocuting. burns like the sweetest paradise. you light me on fire fr bae”

✯ you often wake up with VERY LARGE flower arrangements set up, no matter where you wake up - his room or your place (that’s also lwk his fr). he really gets creative with it too - roses, daisies, tulips, orchids, lilacs, really whatever flower he feels like embodies his love for you that day. & he really gets detailed with it, adding in smaller decorative flowers & weeds to make each arrangement diverse, unique, and an accurate representation of how he feels. tuh, ykw lemme just show yall his masterpieces. that was a collection you had built up bcs he went back to back one week. he puts the bouquet on the bed with a note & scatters extra petals on the bed and the floor. if he’s with you he’ll take petals and sprinkle them over u to wake you up just to get your reaction. every time.

✯ will pick up and fly you anywhere. you won���t stop goin on about the beach during this cold winter? yall on the next jet to turks. private beach, fucking on jet skis, fucking everywhere really, on the beach laid up napping, drunk at the pool bar, yall being water babies for a sec & playing in the water. fucking on the beach. yall rlly bring out the inner child in eachother & heal them by just being together :,)

✯ gifts after every date nighttttt!!! he takes you out somewhere five star or a hole in the wall gem just for the bomb food. wines & dines you, yall yap and rlly grub bcs yall BOTH always getting full fr. when you get homeeee, boxes & bags in the room every time without fail. LV, Hermes, Gucci, YSL, Goyard, Balenciaga, Chanel, IN ADDITION to any other clothes, shoes, or jewelry you might’ve mentioned recently. you def have really shed tears a few times. WILL demand a fashion show - “nah wait, where u goin? you not finna model??” “nah get yo ass back here and model wit yo sexy ass, mhm. i’m not playin, im tryna see what i done bought” - that almost always leads to yall hunchin in whatever set his ass off. new louboutins, ur new iced out cuban link dancing, or some lacy draws he picked out. he tearin that ass up in whatever u got on.

✯ is a freak 🤷🏽‍♀️ WILL pull some whipped cream outta nowhere and lick ts off ur nipples, tummy, ass, thighs, WHATEVERRR. will surprise you with freaky shit “okay i got us sum, it’s a surprise tho so u gotta wait” meanwhile he giggling with that pop pop laugh. you wait ALL DAY, pussy soakinnnnn bcs he’s constantly teasing you, then he wanna pull out some anal beads…. also yall film everythingggg 😭 u thought it was just carry over from him always having to make content but nah he just a freak fr. he will set up a camera wherever yall gettin down. kitchen, room, bathroom, closet & best believe he’ll hold that shit if he can’t set it down

✯ if you have a following & are in the spotlight he’s absolutely reposting so many edits of you. starts posting more often bcs of you and will 100% will make posts of just you lmfao he not even in it at all. always posting you & showing you off everywhere. loves PDA, but in a classy way. he just loves knowing that everyone knows you’re his. his ass get carried away off the drink tho & u gotta keep him in check bcs again, he’ll indulge in fat ma ANYWHERE

✯ do yall sometimes match fits?….. what yall think

✯he lowkey a sleepy mf and will fall asleep on you anywhere, no exceptions. he love a nap or a snuggle - just being close af like smelling u and shit. uses ur booty as a nap pillow (or ur tummy). loves being tangled up wit uuuu all up on eachother. it’s really his peace

✯ loves cooking with u bcs it makes him feel like yall married lollll. he loveeeee the domestic shit. he wants to get better at cooking (wants to spoil u in even more ways) so he always wanna do cooking dates

✯ yall guilty of being the couple that EVERYONE in the vicinity can hear fucking bcs he don’t EVER make yo ass shut up. except when yall could actually get caught teehee. but at home?? he like “yeah let that shit out baby” “fuck, im tryna hear you, yeah” “fuckkkk i know bae, i know” “yeah who making you scream baby? who?” “oh yeah? that’s ‘fuckkk’?”

✯ loves feeding you for some reason?? always tryna feed you your snacks & even meals sometimes. and always silently with the straightest face lol. if he ever says “you want one” just know you’re never grabbing your own. it’s 100% getting fed to you.

[iplayghoul]

𝗹𝗲𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘁. 𝗼𝗻𝘆𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗼𝗽𝗼𝗻

warnings: mentions of weed, reader is a dealer, black coded reader, strangers hooking up 🤭, squirtinggg, i like the word cock, sum dick in there too. pussy is refered to as a 'she', use of 'ma' and 'mama', p in v, thumb in ass shit, oral (f & m receiving), use of the n word

word count: 2.4k

notes: its ony's birthday! 🎂 ive come out my cocoon to deliver this delish lil smut for yall🤭 please enjoy, i havent written smut full out in a bit so! comments, rbgs wit comments all appreciated mwah

"𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝘂' 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱? 𝗣𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗱𝗿𝘆?" 𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗱. "𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘁."

"In five minutes? Oh yea', Con' I'mma do 'em up for you, real good. Mhm, you lucky Sash' my girl." Glossy lips smacked as you ended the call with Connie. Tossing your phone on your bed and heading to the small office space in your apartment. Various tools were laid out across the table. Humming a little, your lavender bunny slippers shuffling as you enter, you hook the handles of two pink glittery packets on your acyrlics. You weighed the packets again and checked the information Connie messaged you. According to Connie, his best friend 'Ony' wanted some good strains you were selling, so of course he hits you up to get the packs for his friend.

Your doorbell went off once, hurrying you to hop down the stairs, holding down your braless, pierced tits behind the thin strapped tank you had on. You peeped at who was outside your apartment, staring for a long two seconds at the buff, darkskinned man with a nose piercing and a fade. The white wife-beater paired with a grey hoodie that matched his sweats, ain't do his muscles justice either! Bejewled teeth bite back against your lips, and you swing the door open, slightly pulling your care bear themed shorts down. His lips grabbed your attention immediately.

Actually, you had to take in his presence quick. His bottom lip was a pretty pink and his top lip dark. His hands were big and so was the broadness of his shoulders. He looked a little nervous too. "You Con's boyfren'?" His lips curled a bit, "Fuck did that nigga tell you ma?" Shit. He spoke so softly you could barely hear what he had to say, only the low base of his voice helped you hear him. You bounce onto your other leg, swallowing hard, "'M just teasin', you 'Ony'?" He licked his lips and hummed with a nod, "Yea, 's Onyankopon." Not one for small talk? "Yea, come in n' lemme get it for you." You eye him and try your hardest to make small talk as he puts his hands up on your door frame, you already had to look up to see his face.

The packets were in the pockets of your shorts, really, with free stickers in 'em too! But you were not about to fumble some potentially lethal dick. You gulp feeling the softness of his body brush against yours as he accepts your invite in, the music from your speakers gracing his ears as you follow him to the living room. You pat the couch for him to sit and walk to the half bath, wasting a few seconds to 'get the packets'. With each interaction you became increasingly aware of what you were wearing. You peeped in the mirror and the heart shaped print of your nipple piercings becoming more prominent.

"Ya'know, youn' really talk dat much... or loudly, do you?" You shuffle back into the living room. He rubs above his lips and manspreads, hands moving to rest beneath the band of his sweats. "If I'm bein' deadass, I'ain got much to say, Con' ain't tell me you was cute ma. Ion really ever like raising my voice eitha'." Somehow, your body temperature just kept going up and your eyes kept drifting back to his lips. You plop down onto the couch, "You got a bitch ri-now?" He leans his head back against your couch and your peer at the way his lips purse out, and his adam's apple bobs. He seemingly manspreads wider, his large build making your couch cushions seem tiny. "Nah, why?" "Jus' wonderin'." Your lips began to feel shaky with every word. The entire encounter was like a meaningless dance around the elephant in the room. And fuck, you were gonna' fuck Constance punk ass up when this night was over. "So listen, I can give you the packets now, 'n you can pay me," You toss the packets onto the coffee table, his eyes remain trained on you. "Or, you c'n getcho dick wet." You mumbled, eyes drifting to connect with his.

A sharp inhale and you see the way his eyes open slightly to peak at you. Fat thighs squeezed together as you sat back with your socked feet up on the couch. "Don't that sound good, Onyankopon?" The way his chest rose with his breaths paused for a minute, reveling in hearing your sweet voice utter his name. His hands push further into his sweats, giving his dick a few long strokes before slipping it out his sweats. It was heavy, so heavy that he held it up for you and let it rest on his wife beater, on his belly button. Being the 'pretty dick' fiend you were meant you needed him in your mouth, immediately.

Quickly lurching forward, you press glossy lips to his pretty cock. His dusted pink tip was fat, and as his dick got darker down the shaft so did it get fatter. The nigga was HUNG, and you could mearly slide your tongue around the circumference of his cock head.

"C'mon mama, do watchu wanna do." It was enough incentive for you to swallow his dick down, relishing in the way it squished down your throat as your held your breath. With each stroke that relieved your airway you took a breath, folding your lips in to glide across his cock as globs of spit dribble across the shaft. You slurp and gag a little with each slip of his dick in your mouth, his hips gyrate and buck up. Ony keeps his eyes on you. Frowning as he interlocks his hands behind your neck, stuffing and forcing your face down on his cock. His head drops back against the couch, fucking his dick up into your mouth with heavy groans filling the room, even above the slow beats of your music. You needed him to tear your shit up within the next two seconds before you start to go crazy.

"Fuck, take all dat shit off, ma." Ony grips your jaw as he pulls you off his dick, spit dripping down your chin and lips plumped up. You wobble on your knees to stand up and undress yourself while he shrugs off his hoodie and wife beater. Tattoos decorated his pecs and arms, the dark ink prettily accentuating his melanin. He nods his head to the side, "Lay back right there, pretty." Plump pink lips pout a little but you follow his directions regardless, laying back into the cushions and spreading your legs. "Ain't nun' wrong with puttin' it in dry," you mutter below your breath when his lips connect with your clit. He mumbles something like 'don't piss me off' and his tongue is all over you.

His hands are big enough to grip the entire spread of your thigh, forcing your leg back as he worked his tongue in circles around your clit, sloppily spitting through your folds and caressing your hole with his tongue. He ate it like a starving man, his frowning and groaning into you growing more frequent as he pushes his face deeper. Your nails ghost the back of his neck, feeling the vibrations of his groans while the other played with your nipple. He tilts his head at an angle, flattening his tongue against your clit and you flinch, the electric pleasure shooting through your tummy and he smiles.

"Right there?" He peers up at you just as your eyes started springing tears. He bites down on his lips, and gives your clit a few kisses. You gasp and start pushing on his shoulders, understanding where he was going . Ony, undisturbed, curls his tongue into your clit, sucking and spitting on your cunt and maintaining the angle. Your tummy begins to tighten, clit pulsing with every lick, holding your breath and arching up into him. A sharp smack on your clit forces a cry out of you, "Stop holdin' yo' breath or imma' leave you right here," Fuck. You let out exasperated breaths as you desperately gyrate your hips into his mouth. Your clit, swollen and fat started to feel almost numb, you can't help but slap his shoulders and whine. "Shit, shit, shit— Ony, that's enough." It only edges him on, sucking up your creamy releases and forcing himself impossibly closer to you. You head was already pressed up against the armrest leaving you no escape, eyes rolling in different directions and mouth agape. Ony's mouth is latched onto you, bouncing your entire body into the couch cushions. You could only moan 'yes, yes, yes' with each rocking of your clit in his mouth.

Your toes curl and you're pushing his head into your pussy, chasing a bigger release than the one you just had. "Fuck, yeah, eat it just like that, baby," Your grip on everything begins to loosen and your lower body feels like static; milky slick squirts out of you as your body begins to relax and you hold Onyankopon's head in place as he drinks it all up. "You're fucking insane," You huff out at him when he lifts his head up to look at you, your release dripping off his nose and chin. "Watchu' said? Put dat shit in dry?" he rasped. "Turn over and put yo leg up on the seat." You give a start and look at him, feeling a mess.

"You not gon' let me recover, bitch?" He licks his lips and sits up on his knees, grabbing your ass like he was preparing to put you in position if you didn't do it. Consistently maintaining eye contact. "Don't call me no bitch," You hear him say low, "And turn the fuck over," He gives your ass a hard shove. You flop over onto your stomach, arching your ass up for some backshots, before sitting up to pull your right leg from out under you and kicking it up onto the top of the couch. You feel your inner thigh burn from the near split position, gripping onto the arm of the couch. Ony's fingers toy with your cunt and spreads you about the length of his dick, pumping it a few times before moulding circles around your clit with his tip: movements calculated. "Shit," You mumble softly, noticing the ever-increasing slip of your pussy. He slows the teasing of your clit, a large hand gripping your ass and pushing you down simultaneously. He lets his tip catch your sopping entrance, pushing in slightly and ignoring your whines as he basks in the wetness pressinh on his tip. "Ony stop playin' 'n put that shit in, God." He pulses his tip back and forth, slowly sinking deeper but not deep enough for you to even get two inches of his cock.

He whispers something lowly and you're unable to hear him. Just as you opened your mouth to ask 'Watchu sayin' nigga?', so did it hang open when he stuffed his full length into you swiftly. "Holy fuck," Was all you could force out of your mouth, his girth pushing against your walls as he sit in it. His hand spreads your ass and you feel him sink his thumb into your ass, his grip on you tightening. Your eyes already start rolling back into your head with the slight movements of his dick in you while he shifts to adjust his knees on the couch. You grip the couch hard and press your head against it when he starts using your ass to gain leverage, momentum.

"Think you c'n take sum fat dick?" Onyankopon mutters above you, the hand with his thumb in your ass slowly dragging you off his cock and back. "Yeah, yeah, gimme— gimme whatever you want, baby." You swallow, attempting to comprehend his question amidst the aching of your pussy that hungrily slobbered all over his dick. Maintaining the slow drag, he reaches down with his other hand to grip your neck, giving you a few tugs to manhandle you into a comfortable groove; before finally hammering his hips into your ass.

Ony groans and curses low while you struggle to hold onto the couch, his strong arms on your neck, forcing your ass back onto him. "Fuck! fuck— fuuuck, Ony," You let out a sob with each stroke he put on you, feeling incredibly full with just his thumb and girth combined. Your pussy was spread and aching around him, slippery and loud and nasty. "Fuck— she talkin' to me?" Onyankopon grins above you and only snaps his hips down into your ass harder, letting it sting. Your pussy was dripping, strings of slick falling from your cunt onto the couch and dripping down to tickle your sensitive clit with each stroke.

You were a mess, with every curse and 'ah!' came drool spilling from your mouth, slobbering about the couch and spreading it down to your fattened nipples. Your hand toyed with the piercing and you only felt more full, your tummy swelling more with each invasion of his dick against your walls. "C'mon take it, take it," Ony removes his hand from your neck to slap your ass hard, forcing his other thumb deeper in you, moving the other to play with your clit. White, foamy, release plops down like whipped cream onto his fingers as he rapidly and roughly guided them around your swollen clit. The same realese making his cock hot and melting in your pretty pussy, coating his every inch and forcing low moans out of him. "Ain't this watchu wanted? My dick wet as fuuuck, mama," You moan back some unintelligible response, you could barely hear the words coming out his mouth. Your entire being was totally focused on the way you began to tremble and squirt small spurts of cum gliding down your legs.

Onyankopon holds you still, hiking one of his legs up and fucking into you unimaginably deeper, sloppier, nastier. You squeal and grab his hand that's at your clit, slapping his arm and biting the softness of the couch's limb while your cry and whine. Ony ignores your attempts to tap out amidst the convulsing of your legs and hard quivering of your body. Your head was pounding now and you go completely blank for a split second, your full releases forcing itself out of you for the second time without your consent, in thick streams.

Your gasps and desperate as you attempt to get yourself together, all while Onyankopon can't help but nut deep in you before pulling out and slapping your clit a few final times with his dick. Your body refuses to move from the complicated position, Ony silently pulls your leg off the seat and carefully moves you onto your back. He wipes some tears off your fucked out face, hesitating before getting up and digging in your fridge for water before returning with two bottles. He opens one for you, feeding you the cold comfort that soothes your thoat while you hold onto his wrist.

"You straight?" He asks before leaning to dig in the pockets of his sweats and pull out a bit if cash. "Mhm," was all you could muster, watching him throw the money on the table before grabbing his phone. "Shit," He half grumbles with a soft chuckle before showing you the bright screen. Six missed calls from Connie.

[kayhi808]

So for this Bucky and Steve watching Abby. I have two questions. Because I just love this idea. What do they do after school? Are they all games and crafts? (Im envisioning two super soldiers trying hide and seek) are they taking her to the park?

Also how does the night time go? Does Abby get scared and end up in bed with papa? Does Steve sleep over and it’s a slumber party fort and all?

I’m so curious!?!? Sorry I don’t mean to bombard you with questions. This scene is just to cute!!

I love this! Thank you for asking!

There's not much after-school time. Abigail is still in daycare so it's a full day there. Pick-up is usually done by Steve, so he can see Abby's teacher Ms. Grace. They've been on a few dates. Not necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend, but they are working on it. Abby and her best friends, Chloe and Mia are all rooting for Steve. They always bring up how strong he is with all the muscles Abby helps him make at the gym.

"Has you seen hims tummy?" Abby moves her hands in little waves against her belly,"All him's tummy muscles?" Lifting her shirt and showing off her rounded belly, "I don't has those."

She also needs to be reminded how handsome and kind he is. He's smart in the brains. How can Ms Grace not like him?

When Steve gets back to the Tower, the guys usually head out for a run so Abby can take her bicycle out for a spin. She rides along side them or they race. If Sam is there, he'll always trash talk her.

Growling, "Dat does it!" Her little legs pedal as fast as she can.

"Is that all you got? Micro mini??"

"I's not micwo mini! I'ma wun you over pigeon man!"

Sam loves riling her up, but he always lets her win.

For dinner they usually order out if you're not with them. Abby is a noodle kid. She'd have nu-nu soup (ramen) everyday if she could. She's been practicing with her chopsticks and is pretty good with it. Bucky recently introduced her to sushi and she loves it!

"Abigail, what type of sushi do you want?"

"Um, cans I get the cwab and abocado?"

Such an elevated palate for a 4yr old.

After dinner Abby's favorite thing to do with Bucky is have dance parties. Mama can sing but Bucky is the best dancer.He's a high energy dancer like Abby.

Abby sleeps on the couch. Bucky has a NICE couch. She's all pillowed up and snuggled down with Pu'a the Pig. If she has a nightmare, she may get to jump in the bed with both of you. You're better at weeding out true nightmares and Abby's nonsense. Bucky sees tears on Abby's face & he caves. Whatever she wants, she gets.

[rustboxstarr]

Modern Eddie Munson headcons pt2

Thank you to @strangerthings64 for the request for pt 2!

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drugs (weed), porn. Inapropriate jokes/dirty jokes, allusions to men being disgusting (well they always are) on public transport

Masterlist

🚬 This bitch will go my precious in a Gollum voice while tapping his fingers when you take your top off.

🚬 will send you 10 minutes worth of snapchat videos and get cut off mid sentence then proceed to complain about it in the next.

🚬Eddie Munson HATES pop and hip hop, but once he starts dating you he’s conflicted because he hates the basicness of it and the people who listen to it, but watching you twirl around with Robin drunk and in your element on the dance floor looking so mother fucking sexy swerving your hips in circles to Hey Mickey! By Baby Tate he’s starting to wonder if he might appreciate live stream hip pop.

🚬 Will scroll through Instagram forgetting you’re on a call or on FaceTime with each other and suddenly starts singing incredibly off key to whatever playing on his Google nest.

🚬Facetimes you while he’s cooking and you have to endure watching him shriek and scurry away from the frying pan when hot oil hits his skin.

🚬 Refuses to show his Spotify stats when the group went through theirs because he discovered Woman by Doja Cat had earned the top 6th place.

🚬His whole tiktok is just a bunch of bullshit, like he will be sat next to u scrolling tiktok and suddenly start pissing himself with laughter and showing u this

🚬 FUCKING binges top gear, especially when high.

🚬When this mf gets drunk he’s handsy, ALL OVER HANDS, dudes hands are grabbing your ass, squeezing your titties, pulling your hair cuz he thinks it’s funny all while you’re tryna fight him off you.

🚬 Tried to pick you up once while hammered. He can’t pick you up for very long normally cuz u heavy and this bitch skinny and gangly as fuck but once he gets alcohol in his system. “Eddie you can’t carry me!” “Liquid strength” he motions to his drink “that’s now how it works!” Proceeded to wrap his hands around your thighs, he managed to carry you for a whole second where he was whooping and practically screaming I told you so before loosing his balance and toppling you both onto the floor. Stuck between the end of the couch and a lazy boy.

🚬 On public transport he will sit in the outer edge so you’re against the window and no one can accidentally braze past you. If the bus is full and you’re standing he’ll fucking corner you so no one can accidentally or purposely cop a feel.

🚬Sent a video once on Snapchat where he’s talking with a cigarette in his mouth, and the he dropped it and it burned a hole in the crotch of his jeans.

🚬 No doubt will buy dog leashes and cut the fabric off to use the chains as accessories (totally don’t do that myself…)

🚬 licks your face, need I say more?

🚬took a picture of you bent over tying your boots and drew in a stick figure behind you, he wrote tappin dat ass and posted it to his story

🚬Eddie Munson has instagram, but never posts, but when you finally wear him down he posts the UGLIEST photos of u, his profile picture is you covered in pimple patches with your hair in a fucking mess, two straws sticking out your nose

🚬Watched a porn video the night before you came over, then when you were set to leave in his van his phone automatically connected to Bluetooth while the FAKEST moans bellowed out of the tinny speakers.

[little-murmaider]

(A little WIP Wednesday (On A Thursday) because moments after completing AOTD for the first time I launched into an intense in-depth Skwisgaar character study, Obviously.)

“I know what’cher doin’.”

“De works of t’ree men? Ja, what else ams new, cans we fockus?” He pushes Nathan’s reading glasses up the slope of his nose and into his hair. “Dere’s somet’ings abouts dis chords progression dat’s not gelling for mes…”

Skwisgaar glances up. Pickles has pivoted to face away from his kit, hunched over, forearms resting on his thighs. His Rock Talk pose. Goddamnit.

“Whats.”

“Yer checkin’ in on everybahdy.” He flicks his wrist in the space between them. “Dis is a check-in.”

“De songs gots to gets done, does it nots?” He dodges. Pickles doesn’t buy it. He rises, idly scratching the side of his neck with the end of his drumstick.

“Sure,” he drawls, ambling over to where Skwisgaar is cross-legged on the ground. “Butcha saught me out t’work on th’sahng right after Nathan screamed at me t’go fuck myself.”

“Did dat happens?” Skwisgaar shoots for airy innocence and misses by a mile.

Pickles plops down in front of him. “I’m just sayin’ yer timin’s nyeeeehhhhhhhh a l’il suspect.”

“Mine timings am imppecables,” he snaps. “Ams always where I needs to bes.”

Pickles’s mouth stretches in that stupid, sideways, Cheshire Cat-like grin, polishing his front teeth his tongue—FUCK Skwisgaar walked right into that one.

“Musickallys,” he adds, pathetically.

“Dood, y’wanna talk about naht new? Dis is naht new. You actin’ all—”

He extends his arms out to full length and tips back, dropping his voice and crossing his eyes.

“YYYYYUUUUUUEEEEEGHHHHHHHH Gets Away From Mes I Hates You Peoples while sneakin’ around makin’ sure all’a us are okey? Y’think I don’ notice dat?”

“I t’inks de lack of access to drugs ams giving you brain damage.”

“Y’might be able t’fool dese other dooshbeegs, but y’ceen’t fool me. I’ve had ya klocked—and I’m sayin’ clock wit’ a k, t’be clear—since ya braught det Norwegian riff-raff into our lives.”

“When dids you becomes de type of guys what say riff-raff?”

“I see ya, Skwis. I’ve always seen ya.”

“Ooooooh does yous?” There was a time where the one-two punch of his withering tone and devastating eye roll would reduce a man to ash. But it’s been a rough few years. He’s gotten soft. His roller shoulders and rapid-fire arpeggios betray him. “And whats eggs-acktly ams you seeing wif dem beady littles badger eyes?”

The toe of Pickles sneaker brushes Skwisgaar’s ankle and he fights off a flinch.

“Dat despite yer best efforts.” His voice is too familiar, too fond. He scooches closer. “Yer a good guy, Skwigelf.”

Skwisgaar scoffs. The metal strings sting against his callouses, blood pooling hot in the ends of his fingers, and something must be wrong with his hookup because there’s a high pitch whine in his ears and a buzz in his chest and they need to finish the song the song’s not done they need to get it done—

“Skwisgaar.”

The pinch of Pickles’s thumb and forefinger on Skwisgaar’s jaw shocks a gasp out of him, the guitar clattering to the ground with a CLANG. Skwisgaar’s jolts, involuntary, but Pickles’s hold is firm.

“Look at me.” His voice is level, his gaze bright and a little watery, pinning him to the spot. “You are good, Skwisgaar.”

And, well.

He doesn’t know why this, out of everything, is what gets him. He’s been more than a little unnerved by the Pickles is Band Mom thing, mostly because he already has a mom and he actually likes Pickles, but here is his friend, at the end of the world, saying the words he has always, always wanted to hear, and the gossamer bubble of emotion that’s been swelling against his ribs these last few months, at last, bursts.

Distantly he hears his breath hitch, feels tears stream down his cheeks. He’s an embarrassingly ugly crier so when so when he’s crushed into Pickles’s chest, when he inhales that familiar scent of hair wax and old weed and something uniquely Pickles (how does he smell wet he always smells wet) he curls his arms around his waist and sobs.

[freebooter4ever]

Ok, during lunch i was goofing off by browsing the dat*ng app and came across a profile who 'liked' mine that was some blonde haired pretty boy with this as a tag line: "looking for the sophie to my howl". My heart flew into my throat....was i about to live out some teenage fantasy? I got incredibly excited until i realized with dawning horror that this dude possibly meant movie!sophie...

Full offense to the movie but the artists shaved off all the harsh edges on both sophie and howl to the point of unrecognizability beyond basic plot points. So anyone who is searching for the soft, gentle, pleasant version of sophie in the movie absolutely could not handle the slightly manic cleaning lady who enjoys bullying fire demons from the book. Book sophie is quite literally a bit of an obnoxious witch(with a b). She gets angry and expresses herself by murdering weeds. She enjoys teasing howl mercilessly. She gets panic attacks and wears the curse around her like a blanket to protect herself from anxiety and uncertainty. Book sophie is a fully flawed three dimensional character in the same way that movie sophie is a picturesque daydream meant for someone more in love with the idea of being in love than wanting to actually be in love.

But it also just annoyed me because this dude was unwittingly buying into the exact flaw of movie howl. Movie howl was remade into the idea of what women want: he's perfect, he's courtly and an utter gentleman, he acts like a prince. Movie howl is what book howl pretended to be when he went off on dates.

And the entire point of the book is that it took these disguises coming off (howl's princely fake romance character and sophie's literal old woman curse) for these two idiots to fall in love. Sophie starts out as a shy timid mouse, too scared to even talk to howl - she literally runs away from him when they meet in the market. She's so insecure and unable to be selfish that the curse is a blessing in disguise for her. The minute she becomes an old woman she no longer has anything to lose, all her fucks are gone, she's for once in her life just being herself. And she marches into howl's castle looking for a place to sleep because she thinks an old woman would be safe from howl's heart stealing (womanizing) ways.

And howl, meanwhile, doesn't know anything about this crazy old woman except Calcifer likes her (and calcifer represents howl's true heart so it's essentially his gut instinct), and he sees through the old woman disguise before she sees through his but the point is he's still seeing the real sophie - not the shy timid one (movie sophie).

And sophie sees behind howl’s entire facade! The book emphasizes that howl's towering powerful ‘castle’ is hollow smoke - it’s really a tiny three room cottage. Sophie gets to meet howl's real family and find out his working class plain mouse-brown hair background from an unmagical unglamorous world. Sophie cuts up his fancy suits immediately when howl tries to put on his disguise and ‘steal hearts’ again. That was the entire theme of the book: real love doesn't need disguises and artifice.

THAT was the teenage daydream: struggling with insecurity and posturing and a whole bunch of nonsense to discover honest true love underneath. And the movie was about none of that.

Teenage me never wanted the stupid princely version of howl. Teenage me wanted the messy, vain, spider loving, too soft hearted, cowardly, loyal, andre aggassi, stubborn-assed wizard from the book. I will never never forgive the movie for taking all that and turning it into something some guy who fancies himself a handsome courtly prince can put into his d*ting profile. 

Anyway if any wizards are in need of an old cleaning lady to befriend their fire demon let me know. Fire demon not required - i have my own, my blue teardrop of a car named Clacifer. And i have the spiders. And i have the facade of success thats on the brink of crumbling. And i keep heartlessly rejecting everyone who wants to date me. Shit fuck ive turned into howl. Except im also my own manic cleaning lady so maybe ive just hyper independently doomed myself to lonliness \o/

[xuciferous]

smokin dat full moon crazy weed

[fragrancefish]

Couple Cupids

Slip your tongue, numb honey bun, flex your interest, flex your gun, trick that cow, find your face, hero’s and the nite, without any trace

Couple Cupid’s, lucid movement, stereo files, stereo soon em, Couple Cupids, treats and we boomin, spare your tire, spare your blooming

Big black bag full of weed, smack dat ass shake that shit for a real one mvp, sass and FaceTime time empathy, trade your shoes for some Better Nikes

[shyujikl]

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