#Fucked up and forgot a picture so had to delay this one a lil

[simmingsorah]

Part Four

“The big bad wolf returns…”

“You’ve failed time and time again.”

“When will you learn?”

“Some things cannot be saved.”

End

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[manonblaqkbeak]

Sugar, sugar

(genuinely hate coming up with titles lol)

this is just rowaelin being pining idiots, one of my fave tropes for day 11--delayed love confession

just a note, the lifestyle in this fic is more of a background note and doesnt really take centre stage in this fic. it’s one ive been tempted to write for a while tbh but didnt really get around to it until now

cw: very, very light smut (like barely non existent, but just in case), a lil bit of swearing

enjoy! :)

3k words (officially my longest fic, yay!)

Every thought in Aelin's mind was blank. She trudged through her apartment that she shared with Nehemia, absentmindedly kicking off her heels that Rowan purchased for her months ago. Then the light jacket she wore joined the shoes, the fabric was perfectly soft and perfect for the autumn chill.

It was yet another piece of item that Rowan purchased for her. A lot of the things she had know were thanks to Rowan, either from his own wallet or from the biweekly allowance he sent her—a generous allowance that was a thousand times better than her weekly paycheck from the bookstore she'd been working at since she turned twenty-two; her business degree had turned out to be useless and so she turned to the bookstore that had been her stable job for three years.

Aelin barely touched her weekly wage now, it was practically buried underneath the money the Rowan gave her.

Because Rowan Whitethorn, thirty-five and a successful CEO who was well known, was her sugar daddy. Had been now for fourteen months. But he was more than that, more than just a man that paid her to spend time with him. He respected her, was loyal to her, listened to her and responded with actual sentences instead of a word or two like other men she had dated. He was charming, didn't treat her like she was nothing but arm candy, and she knew him so well, as he knew her, and each fortnight she sometimes forgot their whole arrangement, but she was sharply reminded when she received the notification from her bank that the two and a half thousand dollars that Rowan sent her was now in her savings account.

When she agreed to their arrangement after several get-to-know you dates, Rowan had wanted to give her three and a half grand every week, and gods Aelin had been tempted because she had never had so much money in her life, but told him that it was far too much and negotiated.

Two and a half thousand was the lowest that Rowan was willing to go, and even though Aelin only knew him for two weeks at that point, she could tell that he would not budge, so she agreed to the amount.

The first time that money had landed in her account, Aelin had thought that maybe she had imagined the whole thing, but the money was a sharp reminder of what she know was—a sugar baby. Those words still didn't feel like they applied to her.

And he still spent money on her when they spent time together. Just last week he gifted her with diamond earrings in the shapes of roses with a necklace to match. She wore them tonight, not because he bought them for her but because she genuinely loved the pieces.

Needing something sweet—despite the fact she had only finished her chocolate hazelnut gelato twenty minutes ago—she dug through her fridge and found the brownies that Nehemia had baked the other day. She told herself that she would leave some for her long-time friend, but Aelin really doubted that would happen.

Aelin relished in the cold air of the fridge as she found the new can of whipped cream on the top shelf. The fridge was one of the first things she purchased with the money she was now being gifted with (and after that came a new washer and dryer, a dish-washing machine and television. Almost everything in her apartment was brand new now, the food were actual brands instead of the generic, tasteless shit. She had bras that fit her properly and were so damned comfortable that she forgot she was wearing them half the time).

The old fridge was a cheap hunk of junk that she and Nehemia purchased off Facebook marketplace for a hundred dollars, it barely kept things cold, but with expensive rent and bills and general life things, Nehemia and her couldn't afford anything better.

Which was how she ended up in this situation. Picking up more shifts barely gave them anything extra, because the economy right now in Terrasen was shit. Nehemia had made a joke about needing sugar daddies, and Aelin, knowing that Nehemia could never really do such a thing, had decided that maybe it was a good idea.

Nehemia had told Aelin that she was insane for pursuing such a thing, and that she had only been joking, but Aelin was not and that she could handle herself if things went wrong.

Nehemia had told her not to do anything, but Aelin was determined and started her search. It had taken a while to find a website that was genuine and didn't make her feel like she had to scrub her eyes out with bleach.

She created her page in private, because she not only was Nehemia against the idea, but so was Elide and Lysandra—she didn't dare tell Aedion what she was doing. Her cousin could be an overprotective pain in her ass at times, and Aelin was very well aware that if Aedion caught wind of what she was doing, he would have locked her up in her room without any type of device so she couldn't go forward with her plan.

She appreciated their concern, she did, but she was a consenting, tax-paying adult, and if she wanted to use her time to get paid spending time with a rich man, then Aelin was allowed to do exactly that.

It wasn't prostitution, she had looked it up, because it was the sugar babies that had the power and so that was how it went with her and Rowan.

Aelin didn't even have sex with Rowan until it was the sixth month anniversary of her and Rowan's...relationship (and gods, it was the best sex Aelin ever had. Rowan was a generous and completely unselfish lover).

He was the first one she came across on the site and almost drooled down herself when she saw his picture. Silver hair, pine-green eyes, a beautiful tattoo down the length of his left arm and tanned skin, he was stupidly attractive and only ten years old than her.

Aelin messaged him first only after being on the site for ten minutes, deciding that surely he was the best one and that she needn't bother to look at any other candidates.

They hit it off straight away, and after deciding on a restaurant to meet at, Aelin had informed Nehemia of the matter, which she was promptly met with question after question: why can't a thirty-four year old man find someone his own age? Is he one of those men that can't date a woman five minutes older than him because of some stupid made up reason? How do you know for certain that it's him in the picture? What if he's cat-fishing you? What if he's a freak, or a killer? What if he's just pretending to be rich to kidnap you? What if, what if, what if?

And so after a heated discussion, Nehemia had come along on her date-that-wasn't-really-a-date and sat a few tables away from her and Rowan, watching them—especially him—the entire time like a hawk.

Aelin had completely forgotten that her friend was there, so enraptured by Rowan and what he did and how he saw life.

It had been fourteen months of seeing Rowan and genuinely enjoying spending time with him and weeks ago, she realised that she wanted it to be something more. That she had come to care for him, not because of the money, but purely because it was Rowan and he made her feel seen and he wasn't afraid of her, because she had once been told by an ex that she could be too much and that he couldn't handle all her baggage.

Aelin wanted a life with him.

So Aelin told Rowan she loved him when he dropped her off tonight after their dinner and a movie date, telling him how she felt, and he had said thank you. He gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and went home, leaving behind the pine-and-snow scent of him.

Aelin really wanted to find a hole to crawl into and die.

She was scarfing down her third brownie when Nehemia's bedroom door opened, her friend clad in an old matching pj set, her slippers shuffling across the tile.

“What happened? Are you okay?” her friend asked upon seeing Aelin's guttered look. Her dark brows furrowed. “Did that bastard hurt you? If he did, I'll—”

“He didn't do anything,” Aelin interrupted her friend. Taking the food, Aelin planted herself on the teal blue velvet sofa Rowan gave her for Yulemas last year, ignoring the scent of not just him, but of them both from when he came over after work just the other day with pizza and a DVD that she insisted that she watched because it was too good not to, when they forgot all about the movie as Rowan buried himself inside her, leaving hickeys all over her neck that she had to cover up with thick concealer.

Nehemia joined her on the couch, her friend momentarily forgetting for now that she had walked in on her and Rowan just moments after they finished, muttering under her breath in Eyllwe as she glared at them defiling the couch, and gave her a look that Aelin knew that Nehemia would listen to every word that came out from her.

And when Aelin was done recounting the story, all Nehemia could come up with was, “Oh.”

“Yes, 'oh,'. I've probably fucked up the whole thing. So don't be surprised if I call you on your lunch break tomorrow telling you he's broken things off.”

“Aelin, I don't think he will. I know that I'm not the biggest fan of your...situation—”

“I'm aware,” Aelin said, cutting her friend off. “You still won't let me buy you a new mattress, even though yours is hard as a brick and lumpy as hell. I've told you that you can pay me—”

“Aelin,” Nehemia said, “we're not talking about mattresses right now. As I was saying, I doubt he'll break things off because I've seen the way he looks at you. I still think he's too old for you, but he cares for you. You probably just caught him by surprise.”

“How does he look at me?” Aelin was observant, but sometimes when she was with Rowan, all her observation skills went out the window.

“Like he loves you,” Nehemia said, no hint of doubt in her voice.

Aelin sighed, her feelings slowly starting to crush her. “I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

Sighing once more, Aelin put the food back in the fridge, showered and went to bed, forgoing her usual night texting ritual with Rowan.

She really wasn't looking forward to tomorrow.

X X X X X X

Rowan couldn't concentrate, which wasn't a good thing, since his job dealt with having to concentrate all the time. But no matter what mind-focusing techniques he did, he couldn't stop thinking about Aelin.

Couldn't stop thinking about how she said she was in love with him. How her beautiful eyes had been sparkling when she said those words to him. And how the light in them dimmed when he said thank you and kissed her on the cheek, telling her that he would talk to her later. But he hadn't texted her, nor did she.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you. He really couldn't believe that was what he said. Felt like an utter fool and a bastard as he realised he probably crushed her heart. Aelin didn't like being vulnerable, and she had been when she said those words and he had gone and fucked it all up.

Rowan loved Aelin, he did, but he truly wasn't prepared for those words. He loved how on the weekends they would be up at one am, baking chocolate goodies, dancing in the quiet kitchen, humming quietly to Aelin's classical music playlist, with her wearing not the nightgowns that he loved, but one of his old hoodies.

He didn't think that he would get along with her so well once they met, thinking that their online interactions were nothing but a fluke. He was moments away from deleting the profile because he didn't actually create it, but Fenrys had, his friend grumbling that he needed a girlfriend, with Rowan arguing that creating a profile on a sugar daddy site was not dating but probably the opposite, when Aelin messaged him.

His life-long friend didn't listen, much to Rowan's annoyance—but he didn't grab his phone out of his friends hand; Rowan blamed it on the several whiskys he had downed by that point.

Aelin bewitched him on that first meet up. She was intelligent as hell and funny, and creative and beautiful. He was aware of why she was on the date with him, but he didn't care, just as long as he got to see her again.

Fourteen months later and Rowan was still bewitched. He wanted to be with her on a permanent basis, but wasn't completely sure how to take that step.

Clearly, Aelin had taken that step for them, and Rowan was the worlds biggest moron.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you.

Groaning, Rowan turned away from his computer and looked at the skyline, ignoring the buildings to instead watch the puffy clouds drift by.

Aelin loved watching the clouds, loved stargazing, loved questioning about the universe and what the skies held.

He never really paid any of that stuff attention, not until he met her.

Rowan didn't want to lose her, didn't want her to think that he was about to break up with her over this. He had to see her, so he grabbed his keys and wallet, told his secretary to hold his calls for the rest of the day, and went to visit Aelin.

X X X X X X

It had been an usually busy day for a Wednesday and Aelin was glad for her lunch break as she trudged up to the roof of the shopping centre. She wasn't really allowed up here, but she wanted some fresh air and to feel the sun against her skin as she sat down and dug into her lunch—fast food, unfortunately for her, because she was so frazzled from last night that she completely forgot about making a pack lunch.

Rowan hadn't called her, or texted her. Not even an email had been sent her way.

Aelin hated that she felt so damned mopey. She was an independent woman, but gods, even a good morning text would have been fine.

She finished her lunch, popping several mints into her mouth to get rid of the onion taste, when the roof door crashed open and a familiar hulking figure came into view.

He must have spoken to Elide to find her here.

Aelin's brow furrowed. “Rowan, what are you doing here?” Oh gods, surely he wasn't going to break up with her, she still had hours to go; there'd be no way she could work if she had tears in her eyes.

Taking her hands in his, Aelin stood up. She steeled herself against whatever he was going to say.

“I love you, Aelin. I'm in love with you, too,” Rowan said, his eyes soft and full of genuine love. Aelin's heart shot up into her throat. “I want a life with you. I want us to buy a home, one that has warmth and character, and a big garden. I want a dog. And kids too, if you want, I know that you've never mentioned it, but if you don't want any then that is completely fine. I want to support you in whatever endeavors you want to take, and if you ever want to go back to university, then I'll support you, or if you want to find a way to use your business degree, I'll help you with that, too. Whatever you want Aelin, I'll give it to you, as long as you're by my side, I'll be happy.”

Aelin was silent for so long that Rowan thought that maybe he shocked her into silence. But eventually, she smiled, one that was dazzling in its beauty that it took his breath away.

“You love me?”

“I do, Aelin, I love you.”

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

Rowan groaned at the amusement in her tone, in her eyes. “You're never going to let me live that down, are you?”

She smirked. “Definitely not. It'll be a nice story to tell our children...one day. For now, I think we should contend with being proper significant others.”

Rowan nodded, smiling. “I like the sound of that.”

“Good, because I need to get back to work, since I'm no longer accepting your allowances. I won't deny the use of your credit card, but other than that, you are no longer my sugar daddy.”

It was Rowan's turned to smirk, and it was the one that made her core clench. “How about I be 'daddy' instead?”

Aelin snorted, even as she clenched around nothing again. Smacking his arm lightly, Aelin kissed him. “Only if you behave,” she said against his lips, “and now I really need to go back to work.”

Rowan walked her back, their fingers laced together, and as she turned to say goodbye, Aelin said, “I'll see you later, daddy.”

Rowan groaned, and it took everything in him not to take her hand and into his car to have his wicked way with her.

By the time he thought of a response, Aelin was already back to work, helping a customer with an impressive stack of books in her arms.

But she knew he was still there, because the way she swayed her hips to the counter was all for him, and when she saw him watching her, Aelin winked, making Rowan's heart flutter in his chest.

He really did love her. And he would live with her teasing him for the rest of his life, just as long as she was with him.

[leaveharmony]

Nope, not even readmore-ing it

Welp.  I don't know what I was expecting.

I mean.  I do know what I was expecting: what I paid for, what was promised in plain writing on every scrap of information released, what I had to check and double check and triple check because there was ZERO info anywhere on the ticketmaster pages for the individual time slots RE who was in which, so I had to concentrate to make sure I picked the right one.��

Why I thought that any of those things meant shit to WWE is beyond me, because by now I should know better.

We took the 11:10 train, which got us into Union around 12:53.  Shinsuke (and everyone in his group) was advertised for 1pm-5pm.  So after a little bit of memory jogging we found the right way to the convention centre, which was fortunately a place we'd been before off the only part of Toronto (or possibly the world) outside my own house that I'm capable of navigating (union station).  We were making all speed for Shinsuke's line across the convention hall no later than 1:25. Of course, the first thing the staff lady at the end of the line said was “We'll be swapping talent out at 3, so unfortunately we can't guarantee you'll get to meet this one.”

And like.

At that point I just knew, you know?   I'm not great at estimating #'s of people but there must have been maybe a hundred in front of us with a little over an hour and a half to go rather than the promised 3 1/2.  People still joined the line after us, even with the warning; there were probably at least 40 in line behind us, including little kids.  One boy was w/ his mum and hopefully clutching his glossy picture of Shinsuke; I watched his lil face go from Really Excited to a state of sort of crushed, anxious horror as the polite staffer apologetically delivered the news. Standing there, occasionally able to watch Shinsuke through the gaps in bodies and heads, I speed-ran the stages of grief all at once and in the span of about half a minute.  There was...no way in hell.  The girl who got in line behind us was much more optimistic, but I've been living my life a long time.

‘Please,’ I thought helplessly, ‘Just let me get up close enough to catch the front staffer's attention and then at least I can pass along the magnet I brought for his collection.’ Like that was the minuscule, sad little prayer I was capable of when I should have been buzzing with excitement.  Let me give it to someone else and maybe with any luck they'll pass it along to him.

We stood in line the entire time.  I hadn't had a drop of liquid since breakfast (empty bottles!  You couldn't even bring in empty bottles to fill with water inside) and my back hurt so badly by ~time's up~ that once or twice I thought I was actually going to pass out; normally in that situation I sit down before I have a chance to faint, but occasionally, when people were in the right arrangement, I could see him.  Just see him.  If I'd sat down I wouldn't  have been able to.  ‘I'll stand til he's gone, and then I'll have a chance to collapse on the cement floor and never move again,’ I thought. There probably would have been more heartbreaking positions to end up in than where we did, finally right against the last divider barricade, no further impediments to seeing him.  The one who would have been next, that would have been tough not to take personally.  Or a couple of people back.   Two people ahead of me there was a guy with his haircut, only dyed purple and teal; peeking out of his regulation clear plastic bag was a replica of the IWGP Intercontinental title.  He must have had a rough day. Homeboy in the wheelchair looked so happy to be one of the last ones up.  A baby in a stroller was going to be rolled aside while his dad got the photo but Shinsuke said no no, and waved them back; he laid his title over the kiddo's lap and leaned down to pull a face for the picture.  Kiddo didn't even seem to know where the fuck he was, but it was sweet and so Shinsuke that even the ppl who knew damned well they weren’t going to make it were laughing. Purple-hair lady we'd chatted with a little when we met at the centre of the parallel, winding lines made it up.  Maybe the third to last guy walked away with his arms raised in triumph and was so overcome he forgot the photo they'd taken, had to scurry back. 

I was...maybe ten people, maybe fifteen back from the front when they called time.  Dead centre of the front row, right behind the photographer.  As it turns out a comparatively enviable position.  One staffer brought out a black velvet bag for him to put the title back in (which he seemed a little confused by, I guess he's both not used to having one here and like...he'd always carry it himself and keep it with him in NJPW).  It was enough of a delay. 

I don't even know whether the woman I spoke to was a WWE employee or the photographer's assistant, or neither, but I hope the rest of her life goes exactly how she wants it until she’s called home to join the other angels.  I musn't have been talking loudly or clearly enough at first but she took my meaning, probably because I was holding out the magnet in it's little purple gauzy drawstring bag.  I thought she'd just ferry it over, that was absolutely my expectation, but once Shinsuke was finished wrangling the title into its own drawstring bag she flagged him down instead.

Probably no other person in the world could have made things Suddenly Ok, but Shinsuke came over to say a brief hello and graciously accept the silly-ass magnet I brought him, and smile at me and shake my hand before they ushered him away.  It was more than any of my poor fellow disappointed line people got, and it takes the edge off a considerable amount of the absolute despair that would have reigned otherwise. 

Though...less of the absolute fucking fury at the bunch of cold-blooded con artists he works for.  The poor.  Fucking kids.  Left in that line.  The poor kids!  How could their parents have known that ‘Signing from 1-5′ doesn't mean what any rational fucking person would take it to mean, but ‘Show up exactly at or maybe a half hour before 1 and be grateful for an overrun of nine whole minutes when we arbitrarily change the rules and replace him with Chad fucking Gable like all the wrestlers are interchangeable mass-produced knickknacks.’

The first person who went up, I looked between them and had no idea which one was even the wrestler - I wouldn't know Chad Gable if I tripped over him in the street.  We just got out of line. 

I hope to fucking god that they treated the people who paid for the WILDLY overpriced higher tier tickets more fairly and honestly than they did the general admission people but like, tbh it wouldn't surprise me if they'd bait and switch ppl at $500+ as readily as at $50.  It would surprise me more if they didn't, to be blunt.

That building is gods-damned huge and they were only using one room.  Literally every other convention in the world, people sign as long as they're advertised to sign and if they need breaks THEY TAKE BREAKS, a back in 20 sign appears and the world doesn't end.  The Usos were even meant to be in the group but weren't bc of like.  All the DUI, they wouldn't let them in the country, so...there were less people than were meant to be, even.  And still, still they find a way to send people away disappointed, man, woman and child.

On the way in we spotted the Feedback tables, laden with clipboards.  After a completely fruitless look at the shop (no more of the Shinsuke figure I wanted, of course, just the Bret Harts released at the same time), we just left to go eat because at that point I was legitimately about to pass out from the sustained pain & inadequate hydration.  “Oh, they're gonna get some fucking feedback, all right,” I muttered.   I didn't swear.  Too much.  I think I mentioned Shinsuke about seventeen times, and I absolutely called them demons (underlined), and I signed off with NEVER AGAIN.  DO YOU HEAR ME?  NEVER AGAIN.  But I didn’t swear.  Til the end, where they requested my email to keep me up to date with all the latest lies.  “Oh, go to hell.”

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

listen... i miss gmw. gimme a lil something something bout the kids' college graduations?? maybe baby penny is sick all over Farkle's diploma and it's ruined for framing and Jennifer can't BELIEVE the AUDACITY of this infant CHILD and maybe joshaya are running late late late late bc whoops impromptu trip to denmark on smthg and the plane was delayed but FSCK WE GOTTA GRADUATE or something. idk. what i do know is that i love ur blog and riarkle, in that order xxxx

You sent this in like maybe a week or so ago and I’ve been ignoring it in fear of becoming Trash once more but I just realized that it’s Riley’s birthday and life is a nightmare so the Trash Is Unleashed™

Okay so Maya stayed in New York for college as we know, but Riley and Farkle fucked off away to some Ivy League out of state

You readers can put them wherever your pretty little hearts desire, I personally like the thought of them in Boston (and I feel like it’d be a nice little circle since Feeny’s from Boston let me live)

But anyway, they’ve stayed as close as ever!!! Time and distance have no power over them!!! We know this!!!

Like we’re talking facetiming, constant texting, a group chat with memes they can’t explain to anyone else, phone calls, they all know what’s up with each other constantly

For the record they are still in touch with Zay, Smackle and Lucas but it’s just like. not CONSTANT communication you know. Like they’re group chat still lives but it’s college + Riley and Farkle have a kid so they’re all busy

But anyway

So Riley’s got her astrophysics and journalism courses aced, Farkle’s fully set to go into politics, and Maya’s art major is done with.

And you know. Our fav ot3 has been together most of their lives. They graduated middle school and high school together and they couldn’t wait to see each other graduate college

But…they were blindsided

No one had ever suspected their colleges would have the audacity to schedule their graduations on the same day

Does Riley pull a Topanga and try to fight her schools dean??? Absolutely 

Does it work? Absolutely not

So now the ENTIRE family is stressed, because most of the Matthews consider Maya part of the family, so does Minkus, Shawn can’t see his goddaughter graduate and Josh is left with the delima of “Girlfriend vs Niece”. They’re all freaking out like holy shit

Riley and Maya are just….in Full Dramatics about this

We’re talking waxing Shakespearean sonnets about the Universe™ trying to tear them apart. They make their way back to all that Sun and the Moon symbolism bullshit

After a literal week of this Farkle is TIRED

Wakes up to his four year old telling him “Mommy’s wearing a lot of eyeliner and said the world is a dark and spiteful place that doesn’t want her and Auntie Maya together and that every moment they share is in blatant defiance of fate. What’s that mean?” and this poor guy is just like,,,,,,for fucks sake,

Like obviously he wants to see Maya graduate too!!! They’re best friends!!! But these girls are EXAHUSTING him lmao

So he has a Plan, but he also knows how his Plans usually go, so he just gives tf in and calls his dad to handle it lmao

Meanwhile: Joshua

Who has just been….literally screaming nonstop since this drama unfolded

Riley’s his BLOOD, even though they’re uncle-niece they have more of a close sibling relationship

But he literally has a ring ready and waiting for Maya!!! 

And the boy is a fucking Matthews so of course HE’S in dramatic throws about this predicament 

He calls Cory for advice and Cory is like “You’re going to Maya’s because you love her and I’m not paying for your fucking flight to Boston” lmao

So it ends up with like. Katy, Shawn, Turner, Josh (+ his four bandmates), and Zay (bc he’s in the city and Broke), and Ava end up going to Maya’s ceremony 

With Cory, Topanga, Stuart, Amy, Alan, Eric, Auggie, Smackle and Feeny going to Riley and Farkle’s ceremony

Jack couldn’t get off work and Doesn’t Super Care and Morgan’s in Europe for work so they’re unfortunately off the list

They forgot to invite  Lucas didnt want anymore choosing between the girls bullshit couldn’t make the trip because of work lol

So anyway: Farkle’s Plan that was funded by Stuart? 

Absolutely got remote controlled robots so they could keep up a video call for both ceremonies 

You know damn well what I mean

Cory thinks this is absolutely the funniest fucking thing he’s ever heard of

Eric thinks this is a sign of the impending Robot Wars™

The girls are still massively upset and think Farkle’s a fucking dork but they’re very touched and love him yadayada so this calms them down a bit

But anyway like, we get to the big graduation day and like….disasters, disasters all around

Josh’s Stoner Friend™ keeps knocking into the damn robot and almost breaks it like thirty times in an hour

Eric is giving the robot at Riley and Farkle’s site a wide berth with suspicious eyes

Auggie, Cory and Penny are all suspiciously sick but are trying to power through the ceremony 

All the other students and people attending these graduations…..you know these whackjobs are getting looks. Some assholes in the crowd keep throwing stuff at the robots

Shawn and Katy are making a HUGE SCENE crying hysterically we all know they would

Jennifer makes a surprise, dramatic appearance at Farkle’s graduation

We’re talking pulling up in a limo, emerging in slow motion, wearing a glittering black evening gown, elbow length black satin gloves, stilettos and a huge hat with peacock feathers on it, making a show of searching the crowds before spotting him (standing directly in front of her) before throwing out her arms and screeching “My baby-!”

Farkle’s like ‘We literally have not spoken in at least six years will you please get the fuck out of here’

She does not, in fact, get the fuck out of there so Topanga is now on duty to make sure she and Stuart don’t get into a fight and ruin this for the kids asdfgj

Feeny keeps fucking falling asleep bc he’s old and doesn’t care about the guest speakers but he SNORES WORRINGLY LOUDLY

Students aren’t technically allowed to have devices™ out during the ceremonies so Riley and Farkle and Maya are trying so hard to be discrete as the watch the feed from each other’s graduations 

They literally end up paying more attention to each other’s graduations than their own lmao

Josh’s bandmates and Zay are all being the rowdiest fucking audience members possible like they’re all those assholes that bring noise makers and scream and clap at random intervals

Stuart and Jen keep shooting each other withering glares and trading insults as Topanga shushes them

Penny, Auggie, and Cory are just feeling more and more like Literal Death the longer this drags on 

Maya finally goes up to get her diploma and Katy literally faints

Riley and Farkle start cheering bc yay Maya!!! Until they remember they’re at their own ceremony and there is LITERALLY A SPEECH HAPPENING SO THEY’RE SCREAMING INTO THE QUIET AND INTERRUPTING EVERYTHING

Get glared back into submission but Maya’s laughing at them 

Maya’s graduation ends soonish after that but the other one is DRAGGING ON STILL so everyone is like crowed around trying to watch on Maya’s tiny screen lol

When the speech finally ends Smackle’s muttering about how everything said was factually incorrect 

Stuart and Jen are still antagonizing each other

Amy and Alan are taking enough pictures to blind people with the flash

So Riley gets called up for her diploma first right

Trips

Hard enough to fall off the fucking stage

Had to be helped back up by memebers of the band

Gets back on stage and gets her diploma

Falls again coming down

Amy and Topanga are s c re a m i ng and Maya is literally crying from the effort it takes to not laugh

Jen’s making obnoxious comments about who her son was ‘trapped’ by and Penny wants to know what that means and Stuart is prepared to stab Jen if she bothers to answer

Riley’s literally off to the side getting looked at by a medic when Farkle goes up for his diploma

He gets it fine enough but coming downstage he’s overcome with the urge to do ‘thank you I am farkle’

he didn’t realize the student that was called up after him was right behind him

punches this kid in the face, he falls

the person behind them falls

a fcucking domino effect of ivy league graduates 

Eric is literally crying from laughter watching this. So are his fucking bodyguards like they broke character bc this scene was Too Much

Feeny is back to snoring

The New York crowd is loosing their fucking minds

Farkle’s rushing back to his seat and Jen stands up to get his attention to Yell at him for being embarrassing and

Penny just fucking projectile vomits all over her

She’s SCREAMING

Cory opens his mouth to apologize and explain that she’s been sick and HE PUKES. WHICH SETS AUGGIE OFF

EVERYONES SCREAMING 

Listen it was a huge crowd but three people projectile vomiting is gonna cause a STIR

People are rushing away and it’s a whole mess of a scene

The nyc crowd is Alive watching this all unfold 

Eventually the ceremony ends and Riley and Farkle lowkey lock theirselves in their apartment for the rest of the night

Everyone thinks they’re just embarrassed but they’re fucking cracking up hysterically like it took two hours to give Penny a bath because they couldn’t catch their breath

At some point they settle down a bit and call Maya and the three of them spend the rest of their night drowning in nostalgia 

This is messy as fuck but I’m out of practice anyway

^ me when I think about gmw these days

[josiegellersbff]

its not okay

so.. very few times in my life have i wished i had never met a certain person, but i guess i need to make the list a little longer. I'm sure my friends are tired of hearing about how hurt i am. i've been awkward and fat most of my life but it's never really felt like that was all that i am, until i met you. Months went by where we talked as if we were already dating, you called me beautiful, gorgeous, adorable, and so many other sweet things and told me meeting me would be the best birthday present in the world. i had hope in my heart that everything was going to work out. i was anxious as fuck but i put the final touches on your present, and headed off to see you.. three hours away. i had the whole drive to think about best and worst case scenario, little did i know itd be worst case pretty much from the start. i got to your apartment and gave you your present (which i didnt even see you look at twice) then i played with your dogs (who liked me more than you did, apparently) while you cleaned out your car so we could go. We get in the car for the 20-25 minute drive, during which i try to make conversation and you're just not having it. We get to the aquarium and you fucking speed walk through the while thing only occasionally looking back to see if i was still there (EVEN THO IM PRETTY FUCKING POSITIVE YOU HAD WISHED I WASNT). Afterwards, we're walking back to your car and you get a phone call. the call lasts about 5 seconds, and you casually (while not being able to look me in the fucking eye) tell me that you need to go pick up your friend so youre gunna drop me off and go get her. i could feel in my gut that you were lying to me and there was no emergency. We get back into your car at the aquarium and yet again for the whole ride, not a word is said. i started sniffling just because of allergies and you look over at me, i looked the other way because even tho i wasnt crying i kind of wanted you to think i was. then you started sniffling, part of me hopes you have allergies but the other part hopes you were crying because you realized how fucking shitty the situation was. we get back to your apartment parking lot, you park, and then cant even look at me. you lean into your steering wheel, say "sorry again", and that was that. i tried to say thats okay but it wasnt so it came out a little delayed and weird but that was the least of my worries. You sped off before i was even inside of my car, where i sat for probably 5 minutes just crying because of everything that just happened. i compose myself enough to drive and head to my sisters because LUCKILY i had somewhere to go, not that you cared. In an unfortunate coincidence i had to drive by your work to get to my sisters and GUESS WHOSE CAR WAS IN THE PARKING LOT?? The same exact car I just had one if the worst experiences of my life in. The same car that is supposed to be off rescuing a friend in need from her home. The same car i used to imagine we'd go on road trips together in. All this does is confirm all of my worst fears. i get to my sisters and wait a little while and then message you saying i hope your friend is okay. you tell me "thanks, she's really shaken up" STILL LYING TO ME. i ask if youre gunna want to try again tomorrow and you say you have to work. after telling me the very day before that you couldnt wait to spend the two days, that you had taken off of work for your birthday, with me. So at this point its nothing but blatant that you're not going to tell me the truth. I should've given up right there but i go on to ask if i did something wrong, you say "no? i just forgot i have to work" to which i said "i just thought maybe it was me because you said you were off for your birthday" and you tell me somebody got fired so youre covering. this is a totally reasonable answer but after everything that has happened, i dont fucking believe you. I was already so defeated and embarrassed so i didnt want to push. i tell you you can just message me later because you're supposedly consoling a hurt friend. i sent you a video of my nephew because he's the cutest but thats it.. i didnt push, i didnt bombard, i didnt do anything. then its midnight and i go to snapchat a friend about everything and i immediately realize your name, along with our snapstreak, is fucking gone. My heart sinks even further and i go check facebook to see if you deleted me there too and sure enough i see that dreaded lil "add friend" button. Without a goodbye or a single word, you deleted me from your life. I cant recall ever being so embarrassed or defeated. All that was left of us was your picture on my snap story where the night before i had told you happy birthday and that i couldnt wait to see you, along with all the screenshots we took of each others cutesy snaps. Actually thats not true, my phone is chockfull of songs that i only listened to because they made me think of you and everything we were going to be. Ive already deleted some music and pictures but after this post i plan on purging you from my life. I cant express how stupid and naive i feel because i believed everything you told me, i actually thought this was going to work out. Maybe its my own fault, maybe i jinxed everything by telling people and posting about you. No matter what, im sorry. Whether i did something wrong or you just didnt like the way i looked, im sorry. I'm sorry because, not to sound arrogant, i saw the difference in you when i was in your life. You were happier in general with the idea of me in your life. Im sorry that i either did something wrong or you are so fucking shallow and that this didn't work out. i know you wanted it to, so yeah im fucking sorry and i cant even tell you because you had to go and do the bitchiest thing possible and delete me from your life. A big part of me still wants you to be happy but the rest of me wants you to use that owl mug i gave you (because you love owls) often af and i want you think of that girl you fucked over that one time. I want to be stuck in your head. I dont want you to suffer but i do want to cross your mind sometimes. I dont want to be forgotten because this wasnt okay. I told you it was, it was the last thing you heard me say, but its not. In no way, shape, or form is this okay. I'm not okay. I was falling for you and now i feel like I cant trust my instincts because you got in under my soggy asshat radar and that pisses me off. I'm already dreading the day i run into you somewhere random after you move here next month. my family says theyre proud of me for even going to see you but im so full of regret it makes my heart hurt. I feel like i've lost a girlfriend and a good friend, even tho im supposed to just hate you now. I miss you so much and i feel like an idiot for it because it was so easy for you to just leave. At least it's over now, I guess. I don't have to wonder what will happen anymore. Bye, E.

[voyageviolet]

Just for the hell of it, I’m going to post the responses I’ve been writing for the Great Homestuck Reread.

DAY 1

I could have sworn I wrote something for this day, but apparently no??? Weird.

DAY 2, PAGES 127-247

Favorite Panel: John: Scold TT

This one's just cute to me.

Favorite Pesterlog: John: Answer chums.

Rose is being high-and-mighty about the FAQs while John panics about impending doom; meanwhile Dave is talking to himself about planet fucking Jupiter. These kids are a disaster.

Favorite Flash: S: John: Take a bite of the apple.

There's not a lot of competition for "favorite flash" in these pages, but I do think it's a great way for the story to really get started with a sense of urgency.

Missed Moments: Not much, but is that oil on Rose's wall? And I've never noticed John's shirt changing color.

Today's Question - Is Act 1 actually bad or are people just not giving it a chance?

I think Act 1 is great, but I didn't the first time I read it. It takes a while to get past the initial "What the fuck am I reading" response, what with the captchaloging and the cruxtruding and the other fake words. I started reading and gave up twice before I finally buckled down and decided, "I am going to find out what the deal is with the candy corn horns I'm seeing everywhere if it kills me." But if you decide to just relax and enjoy the ride, Act 1 is a lot of fun. It's just frustrating for the people who've been sold on Homestuck being this great epic adventure to have to get through the kids screwing around in the beginning.

DAY 3, PAGES 248-384

Favorite Panel: Dave's little gasp here. ~SO COOL~

Favorite Pesterlog: And here we have the first example of two of the gayest kids in Homestuck calling each other gay. These two are so much alike in their mostly-playfully-adversarial ways; they crack me up.

Favorite Flash: [S] YOU THERE. BOY. I'm the kind of RPG gamer that walks around and talks to every NPC and checks every little corner for items or info, so the walkaround flashes are always especially fun for me.

Missed Moments: -In the [S] YOU THERE. BOY. flash, WV knows who John Cusack is, as if he's some kind of universal constant.

-When I first read Homestuck, I didn't expect this quote to be referenced again: "You wonder if this rain will ever let up. It's driven since the month began, perhaps long enough to forget its purpose. It no longer even knows to assuage fire. Somewhere a zealous god threads these strings between the clouds and the earth, preparing for a symphony it fears impossible to play. And so it threads on, and on, delaying the raise of the conductor's baton. "

-And for something I missed this time around: Does anyone know what songs used to be on the [S] on page 338? There's still "Harlequin" and "John do the windy thing," but some have been removed, probably for copyright reasons. (If you're not sure what I mean, click the four corner buttons on that page.)

Today's Question - Who was truly at fault in the Rose/Mom pseudo-imaginary feud?

I talked a bit about this yesterday, but to simplify: It's Mom's fault, simply due to the fact that she's the parent. It's the parent's responsibility to engage with their child in a way that the child can understand and appreciate. Mom reacted to Rose in an overbearing way that had more to do with her own feelings than her child's feelings. For example, when young Rose asked her mom to have a funeral for her cat, she wasn't asking for an elaborate permanent monument; she was asking for help saying goodbye to a friend and coping with that loss. In spite of what I assume to be her best intentions, Mom failed to provide that. Their house is filled with this sort of elaborate expression of affection that completely fails to provide any real emotional connection.

Let me state for the record that Roxy is one of my favorite characters in Homestuck, but she's the version of the character who managed to pull herself together and support the people she cares about. For whatever reason, Mom is the version who didn't.

DAY 4, 385-509

Favorite Panel: ==> I forgot about this one, but John flying around the room with the pogo and the shaving cream is still hilarious.

Favorite Pesterlog: Dave: Pester Rose. The first crack in the cool kid's facade.

Favorite Flash: [S] Rose: Youth roll right out the front door. This is SO dramatic, what with the "empty suicide threat" and the "ironic negligence," and yet it's presented in such a cartoonish "lol whatever" manner. I wish we got more detail about their relationship at some point in the story - something like Dave's introspection and his interaction with Dirk - because this flash presents a pretty bleak picture.

Missed Moments: -From page 404's commentary: "Also, I like how WV is now helping out with the Con Air references through his terminal commands. He shows a striking ability to adapt to and participate in running gags. He is the type of guy who just "gets it", you know?" I definitely didn't pick up on this before. It's hard to pinpoint the places where the commands stop being authorial input and start being characters' input.

-424's commentary: "Judging by the commands, WV is just as caught up in the story as John is. Let's agree this is adorable." Definitely adorable, but I wonder, does WV know at this point that this is the story he was already caught up in?

-447: "There's the PUPPET CHEST he stores LIL' CAL in when he takes him out on gigs." BRO TAKES LIL CAL ON GIGS. LIKE GIGS IN PUBLIC? THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE WHO'S NOT A TRAPPED 13 YEAR OLD WOULD EVER ENTERTAIN THE IDEA THAT VENTRILOQUIST RAPPING COULD BE COOL. BRO WOULD GET DESTROYED ONSTAGE.

I always assumed that the puppet thing was exclusively online, but it sounds like Bro's life may be weirder than I ever realized - which is pretty fucking weird to begin with.

Today's Question - Is WV really just a one note joke character? No, I don't think he is. Every character in Homestuck is a joke to some degree, but that doesn't make them flat. WV has an emotional journey and narrative development that starts with his his silly obsession with eating green things, evolves through flashbacks of his rebellion against a corrupt monarchy and his friendship with PM&co, and ends with him starting (what seems to be) an egalitarian democracy on new Earth. He also serves to explain to the audience what happened to the old, now abandoned Earth without resorting to boring exposition.

Plus he's adorable and everyone loves him, so there's that.

Bonus Question - WHAT'S YOUR POGO MINIGAME HIGH SCORE???? Yeah I can't say I spent much time on that, but I did enjoy the song.

DAY 5, PAGES 510-644

Didn't get time to respond to this yesterday, oops. I'll make this quick.

Favorite Panel: Vaulthalla, baby.

Favorite Pesterlog: Rose: Answer Dave. Still love these kids, and the fact that Rose makes up a poem on the spot is pretty impressive.

Favorite Flash: Well, there's only the one, so...

Missed Moments: None this time.

Today's Question - Which of the items in your house would you combine to make a cool weapon? I'm gonna be a dumb nerd and admit that I'd like to see what I could make with some anime figures. I've always thought that umbrellakind was kind of fun, so why not mix animu figures with that. Like, a Sailor Moon figma with an umbrella could make a cute cheesy magical girl wand. I also have an old biting pear statue that I'm sure could make some interesting things.

DAY 6, PAGES 645-759

Favorite Panel: Democracy. The deadpan faux-seriousness combined with WV's cuteness is just delightful.

*Favorite Pesterlog: * There really weren't any of note in this section. This day's all about WV.

Favorite Flash: WV: Ascend. I've always found the longer flash videos a bit confusing; there are so many things happening at once. Damn if they aren't fascinating, though.

Missed Moments: -Page 721: "All of the chess moves were copied exactly from a famous game played by Bobby Fischer. I forget which one exactly, but it was super famous among dudes who bone tight up on their chess." Never would've guessed that. For some reason, it never even occurred to me that these would be valid chess moves rather than WV just throwing things around. -"The station's terminal is meant to "control" the client player of the kid whose house once existed where that station is. So WV's station, which was in Rose's location, gives commands to John, because John is Rose's client player, and she commands his game similarly. And the apple station commands Jade, because she'll be John's client player, etc. Did you realize this?" NOPE

Today's Question - What would WV's classpect be? Mayor of Can? I dunno, I've never spent much time on classpect theorizing. It's too complicated and too heavily based on speculation for me.

DAY 7, PAGES 760-885

Favorite Panel: Jade's holographic computer. Her life is ridiculous and otherworldly. Seeing the crazy things that are a mundane part of her reality is pretty great.

Favorite Pesterlog: A rare Jade-Rose pesterlog. Best appreciate these when you can.

Favorite Flash: [S] Rose: Ascend. There are a lot of fight scenes in this section, but this one is the most fun, and the one involving the least amount of child abuse.

Missed Moments: -"I wonder which troll named her Farmstink? Do trolls even have farms? Maybe they call them musclebeast pastures." It never even occurred to me that it was the trolls typing in names. I just thought of it as reader input.

-"With the (playable!) FRESHJAMZ playlist, we are provided with the implication that these are all songs produced by the kids collaboratively. Their icons indicate who was involved with the songs. Just another sign earlier in the story that these kids have some musical talent and this is the sort of thing they do with their spare time." I don't think I ever noticed everyone's icons next to songs, or if I did I didn't put it together that they were the ones making this music.

-"It's almost as if Bro is training him to face the last boss. Or it would be if last boss had the slightest thing to do with this creepy puppet, which of course is preposterous." Never connected those dots.

Today's Question - Is early Jade a good character? Why or why not?

Yes, on the grounds that she is precious and delightful.

More seriously, though, I think she's as good of a character as any of the kids, but she doesn't get as much narrative attention or development as I'd like towards the end of the comic. Early Jade, though, is arguably in the most fucked up situation out of all of the kids: Her grandfather took her to a deserted island and died when she was very young, leading Jade to assume he committed suicide, and leaving her with the responsibility of emptying out his innards to taxidermy his body (?!?). Ok, there's no way that last part ever could have been played straight, but the point remains that Jade has had to grow up in a pretty bleak and lonely situation, but she remains unfailingly positive and friendly. She's never had any hope of leaving her island and interacting with the rest of her planet before the game destroys it, but by watching the clouds on Prospit and by enjoying her friendships, she stays happy and hopeful. I can't see that as anything but impressive.