#From the desk of mx yah yah

[fluoresensitive]

from the desk of mx yah yah: help, girl! i was taught that pride was the biggest sin and now i struggle to lift my head under the weight of people humbling me

[fluoresensitivearchived]

Fear’s a funny thing. I’d like to control it as I like to control everything, but it’s such a huge, nebulous thing. I suppose, with horror, there’s a sense of comfort. Speaking as a Black autistic person suffering from C-PTSD and severe anxiety, there’s something very soothing to have a genre where the frights (though often an external reflection and deconstruction of our innate) fears are more easily managed than say, living in America as a visibly Black person. Freddie scares me, Jason unnerves me, but not so much as a police officer. In horror there are aliens, killer clowns, serial killers, monsters and cannibals and creeps, and yet they’re not nearly as terrifying as going out at night, going out among white people, wondering if any one of your choices might end your life. What a relief! Monsters are real! Let’s go inside and watch Leatherface chainsaw some teenagers to death!

Hi, I published a lil’ essay about my feelings on horror on my Substack!

[wispandwhispers]

moonboy

Notes: Writers block is a bitch, I’m sorry this took so long.

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality, qpr dukeceit

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tw(s): Cursing, mental torture, one slight nsfw joke, death, crying

Words: 1884

"You've got your stuff?"

Some scuffling and overturning of a bag to double check that everything is in it.

"Yep.

"Do you really think that we are going to make it back for first bell."

"Naw."

"Call in the favour from Quill..."

*****

Roman woke up.

From those dreams.

And the screaming thoughts came back.

Don't think about it Ţ̚Ḩ͡Ī̧͖̪͉͓͌̊̂͝N͕̾K̝̟͗͗,̦̂ ̒͢T̡̫̪̄̾͛HI̡̫̮͑̅͂N̢̨̖̯̳̆͆͗͘̚K̦͔͑͋,͍̱͔̬̓͛̑̐ ͙̦̯͚̅͂͋̽P̛͚̰̟̩̟̾̄̆͂L͎͍̥͔̭̎͒̉̃͘Ẻ̲͈̬͖̄̿̒A̜̓S̩͒̏͜Ḛ͉͒͝ ̣̯̲̜̄̊́̄͞ͅL̦̏Ȉ̡͕͌̚ͅS̭̦̀̕-

He sighed. It's ok when he dreams about about a cute boy but damn him if he wants to think about it.

He walked down the stairs, the mental warzone fading to background noise as he grabbed his bowl and made himself breakfast.

He didn't have the energy to make anything fancy (the pounding headache the thoughts gave him took all of it).

Sitting down at the kitchen table with the cereal, stiring the milk idly, he turned to his side to talk to his-

Wait.

"Dad!"

"Yes, Kiddo?"

"Where's Remus?"

"He left with Janus this morning."

I thought they would a least give me notice before they decided to overthrow the government or decide to do something equally stupid.

"Thanks, Dad."

*******

Wroammin: Jan, what are you doing with my brother?

SnekSnekSeverusSnekDUMBLE- :Why do you ask?

Wroammin: You came to my house to pick up Rem before I woke up

Wroammin: And the sun just came up

Wroammin: The fuck are you two plotting and do I need a Hazmat suit or not

SnekSnekSeverusSnekDUMBLE- : I'm going to exercise my right of free speech

SnekSnekSeverusSnekDUMBLE-: By not using it

SnekSnekSeverusSnekDUMBLE- has blocked Wroammin

Wroammin: Fuck You

******

"Vale?"

Silence filled 3Q.

"Not here!"

Miss Quill took a pen out of her hair a jotted down a note on a scrap piece of paper, seemed to whisper something under her breath and do a small smile to herself.

"Xia?"

"Which one?"

"The virgin."

How the fuck does she know?

The class erupted into a symphony of laughter and mockery except for Roman, Virgil and Nyx (But Nyx was snoring so Roman didn't know to count it as a win or not).

Virgil looked over at his arch-nemesis, almost deciding to so something or not. He seemed to choose the latter.

And those eyes seemed the flair but it was just for one second, but it would be gone as quick as it started.

Roman placed his head on the table in embarrassment waiting for the humiliation to stop.

"...Here, Miss.."

(Virgil tapped Roman's shoulder).

"Yilton?"

(Roman lifted his head and gave him a a sharp glare. "Why the fuck are you speaking to me?")

"You can hear my voice."

( "Jeez," He lifted his hands in surrender. "This fell out of your man bun" The emo passed a pencil to the other.)

" Zander?"

(Roman snatched the pencil -ignoring the fact that it seemed to be glowing slightly- stuffed it in his hair and proceeded to give Virgil double birds).

"Xey're sick."

(Lunaper mimicked the action).

Quill closed the register tab.

"Ok mortals, take out your plann-"

The constant ringing of a bell that went on a little to long to be a period change.

The students sighed.

"Drop your bags and line up in register order in silence." The class groaned even louder but followed the instructions given.

Except Roman.

"Miss, it's raining buckets outside and someone in the staff probably just burned their toast, do we really have-"

"Xia,I told you to line up in silence!"

Even the older twin knew that trying to argue with Quill when she raised her voice was suicide so he slowly backed away and joined the line as he didn't bring anything that could cover him. And he was sure that someone was fucking with him as the rest of the class had brought protection except the emo.

Why the hell are you noticing I̘̒Ṫ͍͙͎̅͌'̛̯͎̐S̭̱̠̣͎̽̽̈́̄͠ ̳̥͖͂̋̇B̹̂É̯͙͚͕͂͌̕C̹͝A̙̮̱̓͌̀U͓̺̣̎̑̇Ś̳̣̮̀͑́͟E̲̦̓̽ ̘̫͑͑Y̬̠̊̄O͓͠U͈̓ ̢̟͎̅̽͋C̪̲̦̉̉͒A̰͎̔͘R̢̜̱̬͌̾͆͊̄͟É͈ ̨̦̺̓̇͞F̫͑O̖̕R̗̫͗̓ ̗̹̺̏͑̊H̩̼̒̇-him?

The pounding headache was back, like two parts of his brain where bitching with each other for some damn reason. He rubbed his temple to try and relieve the pain.

"You know the drill, walk in absolute silence to the plaza and wait for me while I get the paper register."

******

The class filled back in annoyed and wet. Turns out that a teacher had taken a cigarette break and the back of the the cafeteria block and that's what set off the alarms.

By the time they had returned, it was already half way into first period. Mx Spring had said that they should just consider this a free period and return to their homerooms. To pass the time Roman took out a his spare spiral notebook and started to sketch in it.

If you asked Roman what he drew during this time, he would know but not understand how he did it. He just remembered taking out the pencil he'd previously stuffed in his hair , an overwhelming calm rushing over him and waking up to find a scarily intricate version of the boy from his dreams on the lined paper.

This is the same Roman who would spend two and a half hours struggling to get the other eye just right was suddenly able to draw actual whole person in thirty minutes.

As the second period bell rang, he eyed his masterpiece warily and closed his notepad.

*******

Xia drifted off to the droning voice of his geography teacher, every though he knew that this was a crucial-

"Roman Xia and Virgil Lunaper, please make your way your way to the front desk, I said Roman Xia please make your way to the front desk."

The two boys stood up and packed up their stuff slowly, shrugged their backpacks onto their shoulders and quickly said by to their teacher.

******

"Holy shit, you're ok!" Roman was trying to wrap his head around why his Pa who was very reserved had tears streaking down his face.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"Haven't you seen the news?"

"...What did I miss.."

Pa just passed Roman his phone and everything started to make sense.

******

There comes a time where a person would resort to mindless substance to try and escape the cold, unforgiving reality of life.

Well, Roman was clocking his fourth hour on twitter so you knew where he was emotionally.

He didn't want to get up. He didn't need to either. Both of his parents were going to out for a while anyway.

Putting down the phone (He gotten sick of staring at it) and deciding to move to the living room wh-

Are those stones?

"Princey!"

Roman walked up to the window and drew the blinds open. The emo was stood on his steps with his headphones, accompanied with a purple and black leather jacket.

Disgusting A̛̮̠̞̰̔̆̂D̙̺̓͛ORẴ̧̹̯͞B̖͓̐͟͠͠L̡̞̍̃E̡̯̮̿͘͞

"Why are you here Jack Smelligton?"

"Wow, you upgraded to insults that have four syllables, ten points to ravenclaw!"

The attacked emitted a sound that could only be described as offended princey noises.

"How I am-"

Virgil pressed his finger on Roman's lips.

"Ravenclaws are witty, competitive and creative. For the fact that you have an endless supply of nicknames for me and you always try to out do your last attempt to piss me off, you would meet the criteria."

If he doesn't H̨̻͖̣̥̐̂̒͂̎I̯͈͐̈́S̯̪̯̆̔̋ ̭̤͆͌͑͢Ș̭͑̊K͈̈Ì̬̖̙͈̅̍͡N̟̤͎͔̊̈͌͒ ̞̃I͇̪͊̑S̗̍ ̺̬̦̔̉̓Ś̩͍̄O̠̎ ͕̙̟̓̄̾S̥̊O̢̭̿͡F̨͕̭̔̈́̽-͖̲̭̩̂̅̾̆move his fingers off my mouth, I'm gonna break them.  

Almost on cue with the thought, he removed it.

"I'm going to repeat my question, why are you here?"

Virgil took a step back and did a little chuckle to himself, with a shrug of shoulder that seemed custom fit.

God he's  G̻͈̪̱̑̂̕͞O͈͐D̞̞̻̀͊̃ ͌͜Ț͖̱͐̀̏͢͡H̞̒Ȧ̺̳͞Ṱ̃'͈̦͕͌̔͌͊͟S̬̀ ̨̢̫̬̤́̄̓͗͛S̹̺͉̭̉̀̔͗̿ͅẸ̫͒͞X͎̟̥̹̀̾̓͒Y̧̢̫͙͌̒̾͞  - insufferable.

"Because even I, your sworn enemy and nemesis til death drags us part, don't think that you should grieve over someone who isn't even dead."

"You mean-"

"Trust me, Remy is very much alive."

******

"How did you even find my house?"

"That's the most pressing question on your mind right now?"

"It truly isn't but let me start with the small ones before the big ones emerge."

Virgil was lying on the couch with his sneakers touching the furniture. Roman had let him in after claiming that Remy still had a pulse. He was scrolling through his feed and according to Roman's peripheral vision, it seemed to be tumblr.

("He actually uses the Queue?")

("Did you say anything?"

("Nothing you need to know.")

("You sound like Janus.")

Roman  glared at his feet.

"Take off your shoes if you are going to lay on the armrest."

"Fine!" He flinged his shoes at the other. It stained Roman's white tee.

"God, I hate you."

He pulled out both his earbuds and shots some finger guns at him.

"Right back at yah!"

Xia walked over and sat on the ottoman facing Lunaper.

"Let's get down to business-"

"TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!"

"Seriously, what do you mean 'Remy is very much alive', everyone with access to the internet saw what happened to him."

Virgil looked around, almost like he was scared of being seen or spotted or heard.

Did his eyes just change color?

"Look, I can't really tell you.."

"I'm getting sick of asking this, why are you here then?"

Virgil didn't respond.

"Why exactly are you here if you aren't going to try and explain-hmmmmm!"

Lunaper's was currently gagging his mouth with jacket.

" Stop speaking so loud."

Roman peered at the other.

"Whamt, ets not like whemre being watched."

"I'm just being- wait, give me a sec."

Virgil took the loose strand of Roman's hair and swiped it to the left.

I̛͇̜̺̦̎͐͠ ̘̂WA̹͍͘͡N̢̟͉̑̕͠T ͉̠̲̲̿̾͒̊T̥̮̍͞Ȏ̺̐͢ ̛̤̬̲̪̉́̏K̖̗̃̓I̧͕̫̩̼̔̎̃̀̇S̩̫̏̓S̙͛ ̧̫̞̒̇̕H͓̯́̋́ͅI͈̻͙̋͜͠͞͠M,͍͉͍̼͌̌̆͆ ͓̭̦̾͒̅I͓͇̹̩͚͂͐͑͡͡ ̥̑W̹̰̯͈͛͛̾͛A̞̲̩̎̍͞N̳̟̻͆̄̚T̢̛̖̏ ͓̋T͉̪͐̓O͇̤̝͛͂̿ Ć͉̯͛AṞ̳̠̈̄͘E̼͎̞͇͊͗͋́̕͟Ș̆Ṣ̈ ̡̨̡̗͕̊̂̂̓͠F͎̏Ặ̼̯̠̅͊́C̫̜̾̉E̢̟̣͎̱̿̾͒͌͒,̣̠́́ ̡͇̪͑̊̃͟͞Ì̼͕͙̥̤͑̆́̕ ͇͗W̧̫͉̘̉̃͘͡Ă̟̘͝N͉̊T̫̟͐̄ ̢͋T̞̃O ̨̡̀̆̄͑͜ͅĎ̢̦̖̤͑̂̕Ä̝̯̪́̒̚͜͠N̹͔̘͇̔̉̐̐C̥̔E̪̖̝͉̱͋̎̾̔̒ ̡̻̤̀͐̉̄͜WǏ̜̩̟́̀͒͜T̙̆H̥̆ ̟͍͔̈́̆̕H̪̣̽̐I̡̺̯͌̑́M̨̪̩̱̜͆̏̌̋̕ ̖͎̀̚'̯͉̅̀T͔̦͇̙̔̾̊͜͠͡I͎̤̞͔̥̎̿́̚͝L̜̥̅̑ ̛͔͖̰̌͌̚͢Ș̘̗̀̿̎U͔͗N͕͓͊̆̋ͅ ̪̪̟͌̒͒̂͜R̲̻̪̋͊̅̏͟Ì̪SḔ̙͟,̨̰̩͚͒̈͂̚ ̧̜̱̀̆́̊͜

"Fumck!"

The emo removed the make-shift gag.

"Are you ok?"

Xia moved his hands to his temple to try and relieve the pain.

,̨̰̩͚͒̈͂̚ ̧̜̱̀̆́̊͜Ỉ͈ ̳̣̙̗̊̒̓̚W͕̐A̱̙̣̙͛̎̎̀̓͜N̫̳̔͘T̰̜̝͌͛̀ ̲̃T̯̮̪͗̋̒Ỏ̗ ̩̞̝̊̎̋H̛̭̺̥͛̚OL̛͎̝̹͇̂̀̚D ̹̰̬̈̚͝H̤̫͙̅̔͝Ị̞̱̓̾̚Ḿ̞,̾͢ ̲̟̹̫͆͐͑̅I Ẃ̪̫͘Ã͢Ņ̹̋́Ț̛͍̒ ̰̭͕̏̇̔T̛̬̲͋O͈͒ ̬̂Ṭ̛̣̓̍͢O͕̩̟̎̄̐͌̕͟͟U̖͌̽͢C̰͕̈̽H ̲̝̦̱̄͂̚͡H͕̳͒̈́IM̡̱͖͗̎͆, ͔͞I͖̰̽͠-̢̘̜̹͚̄͗̑̑͡

"FUCK, EVERYTHING HURTS, IT HURTS TO THINK, IT HURTS TO SPEAK, I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO END!"

"PRINCEY!"

"MAKE IT STOP, WHY WON'T IT STOP?"

"PRINCEY!"

"IT HURTS, IT REALLY DOES!"

"ROMAN!"

And just for a second the voices stopped, they stopped stabbing and scratching and just stayed still.

Just for a second.

"FUUCCKK-"

"ROMAN," Virgil took his face into his hands. "Roman, please open your eyes, I need to check something."

Following the instructions ( He didn't remember even closing them) he was met with pools of space and stars and a galaxy of colors that were now the eyes of Virgil and not the chestnut brown he seen less than two minutes ago.

“You have a veil, you actually have a veil..”

“ The fuck does that mean, Surly Temple?”

“It means that someone has blocked something from your conscious thoughts.”

“What?”

“That’s not important, what is would be the fact that you’re going to want to bite onto something because this is going to hurt and I don’t want the neighbours getting any ideas.”

For the second time that day, Lunaper stuff his jacket into Roman’s mouth.

“I’m sorry..”

Even with the jacket the screech the Xia made would probably beat his Pa’s infamous falsehood.But with the pain gone and the veil dropped he could now see everything so much clearer.

So the moment when Virgil took the gag out of his mouth, he pulled him close and claimed his lips.

[theshawnieboi]

Boss Baby | pt. 3

boss baby pt. 2

Over the weekend, I was in contact with Nancy to prepare for a type of welcome slash congratulatory lunch party thing for that new author guy and the company. As Monday rolled up, we were busy preparing everything at the office pantry.

"Hey, Lexine.” Nancy called, looking through the list on her clipboard. “Are we good to go here?”

“Yeah.” I sigh. It was almost 11 in the morning, and we were expecting people to arrive by then. “This was tiring. How did you survive through this when you were alone?”

“I don’t.” She chuckled. “I die right after then come back to life.”

Shawn enters the room, looking much more edible than the food...

“Everything looks good here, ladies.” He said, eyes going around the room. He went to check on the mini buffet we got catered and scrunched his nose up at the last meal. “Why is there tomato pasta?”

I look at Nancy, confused as to why Shawn was asking about the tomato pasta.

“He doesn’t like tomatoes.” Nancy whispered, and I just nodded in understanding but still confused.

A few minutes later, employees from every department started to come and Shawn greeted them at the door.

Shawn called for me and as I went to stand by his side, Tyler arrives with his team. “Hey man.” Shawn greeted him and they did the man handshake hug type thing.

“Hi.” I gave them a small smile and ushered them to the buffet table, leaving Shawn.

“Lexine, right?” Tyler asked, looking like he was about to say something else.

“Yes.”

“It’s nice to see you again.” He said, letting his team go first.

“You too, and congratulations again on the book deal.” I smiled.

“Yeah, thank you! I think it was because of you, you’re kind of like a lucky charm.” Tyler joked which actually got me giggling.

“But really, it was all you. The book is amazing, I’ve just finished reading the unedited version you sent us.”

“Thank you. Have you eaten? Come eat with us.” He offered and put his hand on my back, as a gesture to get me to cut in front of him.

I took a step back to get his hand to fall from my back. I looked around the room to see if someone saw, but instead made eye contact with my boss who was slowly approaching us.

“No, you guys go ahead. I’ll eat when everybody’s done. Thank you.” I told Tyler with a small smile.

“Hey, let’s eat.” Shawn said, who now has his hand on my back. He smiled at Tyler before guiding me to the end of the line.

“I really should let everybody eat first.” I smiled nervously at Shawn but just got pushed back in line by the hand that was still on my back.

“Eat.” He said firmly, took his hand off my back and handed me a plate.

“Okay..” 

When we sat down with our food, Shawn was just looking at me like he wanted to say something.

“What?” I asked.

Shawn shrugged, finally starting to eat. “Didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, but why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?” I took a tissue and tried to wipe my face when I got stopped by Shawn.

"Nothing.” He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes at him, trying to stop the smile from forming on my face, which actually got him chuckling a bit more.

After the small gathering, Nancy and I were left at the pantry cleaning up, and Shawn and Tyler were at one corner talking about something.

Nancy nudged me on the side, and pointed to Tyler with her head. “Well, you never told me that the new author was cute.”

“Meh.” I shrugged.

“Not your type?”

“Nope.”

“But Mr. Mendes is.” She smirked at me.

“Nancy.” I hiss a little too loudly, making the two men look at us.

“Everything okay?” Shawn asked.

“Yes, sir. Uh, we’ll head back to the office now.” I said, grabbing Nancy by her elbow and pulled her towards the elevator, the both of us giggling.

“Would yah look at that.” She laughed once the elevator doors closed.

“Stop it. You’re going to get me in trouble.” I managed to say in between the fits of giggles.

“Whatever.”

When the elevator doors open, Nancy and I immediately went back to work mode and proceeded to our desks.

As Shawn walked out of the elevator, Nancy winked at me which got us both giggling again.

“Thanks for the lunch, ladies.” Shawn said.

“You’re welcome, sir.” Nancy thanked our boss for the both of us before he entered his office.

My phone beeped with a text from Annie at our group chat.

Anniebee sent a message to bestiez. lets dwink anniebee is sad

Johnnyboi sent a message to bestiez. ure always sad

Anniebee sent a message to bestiez. f u.

You sent a message to bestiez. hahahahahahahahahhhahh dwinks at my place then

Anniebee sent a message to bestiez. Y A Y 

Johnnyboi sent a message to bestiez. see yall later mwa

I put my phone back in my pocket and got back to work. 

The intercom buzzed followed by Shawn’s voice. “Lexine, tell Tyler to just come straight to my office when he arrives.”

I pushed the button and said, “Okay, sir.”

Tyler arrives not long after. “Hi, Mr. Mendes said that you can go ahead into his office.”

"Got it.” He replied with a smile and went into Shawn’s office.

I’ve got to say, he really is charming. I mean, your typical cutie next door with the blond hair and green eyes. You know, if you’re into that Jesse McCartney charm.

I was taken out of my thoughts by the very person in them standing in front of me. “Yes? Is there anything that you need?” I looked at Shawn’s office to see if he was coming out.

“Oh, no. The meeting’s over.” Tyler smiled at me and took out what looked like a business card from the pocket of his jacket. “I was kind of hoping that you’re available for dinner later?”

“Oh, uhm...I can’t.” I manage to choke out, a blush creeping up on my face, and took another glance at Shawn’s office. “I already made plans.”

“What about Saturday?” He raised his eyebrows at me, with a hopeful smile.

I was about to decline again when the intercom buzzed followed by my saviour’s voice. “Hi, Lexine. Can you please come in here. Thank you.”

“Sorry.” I cleared my throat of whatever was blocking it. “I need to go. Excuse me.” I quickly stood up from my desk and speed-walked to Shawn’s office, not daring to look back.

“Ah, Lexine. Can you please cancel all my meetings for tomorrow.” My boss said, looking at me briefly before turning his attention back to his phone. “I need you to help me with something.”

“Is everything okay, sir? Can I get you anything?” I asked, concern lacing my voice.

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.” He said, not going into detail.

“Uh, okay. Would that be all, sir?”

“Yes, thank you.”

I walk out of Shawn’s office and see that Tyler and his invites are gone.

“Hey, I think Tyler left something on your desk.” Nancy said with a smirk on her face.

I look at my desk, and on top of it is his card. Okay, spoke too soon, Lexine. I pick it up and see that his phone number is underlined by the purple pen on my desk, he also wrote ‘saturday?’ on it. I sigh, actually feeling like a teenager being asked out on a date.

The rest of the day was uneventful for the office, and I just couldn’t wait to get home and get that drink with my best friends. A very much needed drink.

I groan as Shawn was coming out of his office. “I’m leaving, don’t worry. You can leave too.” He snickered.

“Oh, shit.” I muttered. “No, I was just-” I stuttered, unable to find the right words. “Oh what the hell.” I feel my face heat up, and covered it with my hands, not having the courage to look at my boss.

“It’s fine. Let’s go?” He asked, still chuckling.

“Go where?”

“To the elevator, Lexine? We’re just going down together, don’t stress yourself too much.” He said, grinning, finally stopped laughing at me.

“Oh right, let’s go.” I followed him to the elevator without a word, afraid that I might say something stupid again. We entered the elevator, and I stood absentmindedly by the buttons.

“You okay there?” Suddenly Shawn’s breath was fanning my face, getting me out of my trance, as he leaned to press the ground button. 

He went back to his place after pressing the button, and I dare to look back and see him standing there with a smirk on that perfect face. My face immediately heats up as I make eye contact with him.

“I hate you.” I mutter and looked at the buttons again, trying to hide my face with my hair.

been watching christian grey for some intimidating ceo vibes inspo

well that took long enough im so sorry for the delay and im so sorry for sucking

taglist: @ashwarren32 @ellascarlettangel @ilsolee @mx-and-mb @to-the-road @shawnmendes048 @miclarodeluna @someinsanefangirl @lili-alvarez @sweetheartmendes @coralchloe @vintageroses1014516

boss baby pt. 4

[pillowfluffs]

MX Short Stories // 19 (WH)

The busy life of work buzzed around you and you were pulled into it. You sat at your desk, typing onto your computer, filling out the paperwork your manager had given you at the start of the day, but you only had a few more things to do, but about two more hours before your shift ended. Your life after college had gone from something you thought was busy, to a whole new level of busy. It was a lot to handle, but you were able to adapt, all with the support from your loving boyfriend, Wonho. Your coworkers walked by you, getting through the day with their own work, but it was understandable if anyone was cranky; it was Friday, which meant it was the last day before the company closed on Saturdays and Sundays. You were unsure of the reasons, but you didn’t mind, all you wanted was to go home and shower and sleep.

You sat at your desk, rubbing your eyes after staring at a screen basically all day. You were finishing up your last paperwork when your phone began to buzz. You glanced to your side, seeing they were messages from Wonho.

W: Can you come to make me ramen?

You literally paused at your computer before picking up your phone and responding.

Y/N: I’m at work, sorry. I will after my shift.

W: When are you coming back?

You knew he loved his ramen, but this was the first time he responded so fast.

Y/N: in two hours. Do you think you can live that long?

W: no. come now. Please, before I die.

W: how much work do you have left?

Y/N: I’m on my last paperwork. Why?

W: ask to leave early. Please. Show me your love

You hesitated, staring at your phone, contemplating on whether you should or not. You were technically done and you knew for a fact that you did not want to get stuck with extra paperwork which you would not get a bonus for.

W: Yah! Don’t you love me? ;-;

You smiled at your phone, signing the last thing you had to do before you placed it into your completed bin. You grabbed your belongings, beginning to walk towards your manager, explaining to them your pet was sick. They were hesitant, but they, fortunately, let you go early.

Y/N: I’m coming, calm yourself.

You left your company, walking toward your car to head home to your bunny.

~~~~~ Masterlist / MX Short Stories Masterlist for more! Previous // Next

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Promise Me

Monsta X

Lee Minhyuk as your older brother

Genre: Drama/Fighting/Bullly, Comfort 

Words: 4.2k

I could have made a small reaction for each member, but I decided to give our child of the sun, Minhyuk, some spotlight. Also, gonna be set right after The Clan Pt. 1 was released, because All In era Minhyuk gives me so much life. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monsta X, a growing kpop sensation that had just released their 3rd mini album, The Clan pt. 1 <<LOST>>. While he was over in Korea, promoting, doing special stages and appearing on shows for interviews, his little sister was over in England, studying abroad.  The two of you were always close, ever since childhood, since you weren’t too much younger than him.  

You’ve always supported your brother and his work, but you did it from the sidelines and always made sure to never boast about how your brother was an idol.  You hardly mentioned it at all, if it somehow came up in conversation, which it would be incredibly rare if it did, you’d mention your relation, but you never openly broadcasted the information to the world. The world of spotlight wasn’t for you, you were happy enough knowing that Minhyuk knew who you were while you cheered like any other fan in crowds.

You even went to the extent of naming him “VitaMin” in your phone, because one, he’s always filled to the brim with energy somehow, and it wouldn’t let the people who peek over your shoulder and read your phone know who you were contacting.

You’d tell your brother everything, how your day was, what you ate that day and how much, if you were feeling under the weather, if it was a day without rain or cloud, and of course sending him the occasional picture of sights or yourself if his begging was persistent enough.  However, there was one thing you neglected to tell him; the fact that even when attending university abroad in England, bullies still found their way into your life.

You don’t know why, but it’s like you had a tracker on you and every bully on the face of the earth is constantly notified of your location through their phone and just attack.  You’d easily dealt with the sneers and under the breath the small group of 4 girls would spout out when you walked by, it didn’t bother you much.  It was a mistake apparently, as what they teach you in school ‘ignore it and they’ll get bored’ was a lie, because as you ignored, they grew more bolder.  

They sought out a reaction from you, and they started almost acting desperate to get one. They’d start grabbing at your arms or sleeves to pull you to them as they spoke to you in harsh tone.  They’d take any opportunity to ‘accidentally’ knock your books from your hands or grab onto your bag to where they’d rip it by yanking it backwards, making your stumble back in the process.  

Yet, even still, you grit your teeth and tried to bare through it.  Then, in typical bully fashion, things started to escalate. They’d corner you in the secluded spaces in the buildings, the areas where the camera’s had blind spots, alleys where people didn’t check, or just behind the building.  They’d push and shove at you, kick you down and of course, pull at your hair and scratch at your skin.  

People like them made you sick.  They were ruthless, and even if they had their own problems in their lives like it’s always told to people by when their in middle school, it gives them no reason to hurt other people.  There are plenty of ways to take out frustration, and on that checklist of healthy or humane ideas, the option of dicking around and beating on another person wasn’t on it.

It only made it worse when you overheard a conversation of these particular girls talking about, and fawning over, Monsta X.  You knew every member loved and adored all Monbebe’s and it broke your heart as fellow fan, that they had fan’s who could be this cruel to an innocent girl just trying to further her education.

So, to try and keep your low profile streak going, you’d wear scarves to cover the marks on your neck and chest, longer sleeves and pants.  You even got to the point of wanting to be invisible so much you started growing out your hair that now brushed along your shoulders.  You’d always preferred shorter hair, but I guess things need to change to stay invisible.

You had just finished relaxing on your break after exams before second semester for school started, and as you sat in your small 2 bedroom house studying for your classes, your phone that rested next to you on your desk buzzed with a phone call.  You smiled as you set your pencil down and answered the call.

“Hey Min-”

“Y/N!!!”  You pulled the phone away from your ear and winced at his loud voice.  “I miss you!!”  You rolled your eyes and brought the phone back to your ear.  

“Yes, I can tell.  You’re much louder than you usually are when you call me.” You hear rushing cars and honking in the background of where he was, along with the voices of his team with him.  “It’s loud where you are, where are you?”  He chuckled into the phone.

“We’re out walking around.  We’re visiting somewhere and it’s a bit noisy.”  You nodded.

“Yes, I can tell.”

“Hey, so you said you live alone right?  Like in a lil house right?” You rose your brow as you pulled your feet into your chair and pushed your back into the chair and listened to him ask if your address was correct in his memory from when you told him before.  

“Yeah, that’s my address still.  Why?”  

“I’m actually sending you something.  It’s a surprise present for you from all of us.  I just want to make sure I have your address right.”  You rolled your eyes.  

“I’ve told you before you don’t need to send me present’s Minhyuk.”

“No, but seriously, you’re gonna like this one.”  You breathed out a sigh as you smiled and a sudden knock came at your front door.  You looked towards the direction of the entrance of your house and rose your brow.  Who would be knocking on your door?  You didn’t have a delivery out or anything and Minhyuk’s ‘present’ would take at least a week or two for overseas shipping.

“Hold up Minhyuk, someone’s at my door. I’m going to leave my phone at my desk.”  

“Go, go!  I’ll wait.” You pictured his smiled as he held his phone to his ear.  You set your phone done as you called out to the person on the other side of the door that you’d be there in a moment.  You unlocked your door and opened it and you were ready to ask what they wanted, when your voice stuck in your throat and you let out only a small scream.

“You’re present’s here!”  Minhyuk stood with his arms out wide to his sides, the rest of MX behind him as he held his phone in one day.  You jumped around in place for a moment, trying to get, what you hoped wasn’t a hallucination, out of your head.  “Well, you gonna hug me or not woman!”  You jumped forward to latch onto your brother’s chest as you almost felt like crying.

Changkyun whined from the back of the group, while the two of you just held each other. You missed him so much and it’s been so long.

“Yah, save some for us Hyung!”  Minhyuk looked over his shoulder and stuck out his tongue to the maknae.  

“Get your own sister hugs, these are mine!”  You laughed as you finally let go of Minhyuk and let them all inside, where you offered everyone else their own hugs.  Your small 2 bedroom house just suddenly got 7 new bodies to add into the space. It’ll be something trying to figure out who’s going where, but that’s a hurdle you’ll deal with at a later time.

You ushered the boys into the living room, some sitting on the couch, some on the floor and Minhyuk even went so far as to sit on the top of the coffee table after he cleared a space for his rear. You stood in your doorway, crossing your arms as you adjusted the neck on your turtleneck subconsciously.

“So, what’s with the sudden surprise trip to London?”  Minhyuk raised his arms towards you and opened and closed his hands rapidly, silently pleading you to come sit with him.  You chuckled at his childish action.  “Sit your butt on the floor, and I’ll sit with you.”  You’ve never seen him move his body to drop onto the floor so fast.  The boys all laughed or rolled their eyes at him as you walked over and sat on his crossed legs.  He was a rather clingy brother, but that’s okay.

“To answer your question,” you looked at Shownu who started speaking, as Minhyuk didn’t seem like he was gonna respond, “we have some promotions to do back in Korea, but we were given some time off before that.”  You furrowed your brow slightly.  

“But, if you have time off, shouldn’t you visit your own families?”  You scanned over the faces of each member, all with the same smile on their face.

“Our families are in Korea, you’re not.  And you’re family too you know.”  Kihyun answered as he motioned to Minhyuk.  “Plus, he wanted to hope on a plane ASAP to get here.”  

“We’ve all missed you in conclusion.”  Jooheon piped up, showing his dimples in his smile.  Minhyuk rested his chin on your head as you sighed with a smile.  

“Well I’m flattered.  How long are you staying?” You directed your question to Minhyuk.

“A week.”  

“Hey, that’s not bad for idols.”

“It’s not long enough if you ask me.”  He whined as he already started dreading when they would have to leave you, even though he literally just got there.

“Well, since I’ve found myself with a few more roommate for a few days, sleeping arrangements are a thing we need to take care of.  I have room for one person to sleep with me in my room and I have an extra room with a pull out couch suitable for 2 more bodies.”  You looked at the ceiling as you thought.  That’s only 3 out of 7 boys.  

“I’ll sleep on the couch if you need me to.”  Changkyun had piped up.  You nodded at him.

“Works with me.”

“I’m the only one who is allowed to sleep in your room.”  Minhyuk had stated from behind you.  You had expected this and accepted it without complaint as the others started teasing him or saying they wanted to sleep with you in your room.  You had just concluded to digging up some spare blankets and pillow or sleeping bags if you can find some and the rest can fight for floor space.  

And like that your week with the 7 boys began.  

When you weekend ended and you had to prepare for classes again, Minhyuk had picked up on a hint of dread in your attitude. It wasn’t just when you were getting your things ready.  He noticed the dip of emotion when school was even brought up.  Something about it made him suspicious of you, like you were hiding something from him. Part of him wanted it to be, at the very least, a secret boyfriend of girlfriend you hadn’t told him about, but the way you acted, the back of his mind wouldn’t let him believe that was the case.

So, when the morning came and you were up early, grabbing your bag to head off to campus, Minhyuk surprised you by waking up with you too.  

“What are you doing up so early?  Go sleep some more.”  He shook his head, keeping a smile on his face.

“Nope.  I wanna walk you to school today. Pleaseee!” He put his hands in front of him, dramatizing his pleading further.  You rolled your eyes before taking the black cap on your head and slapping it on his.  

“If you wear a hat and a mask so that no one can easily recognize you, then you can walk me.  But I won’t except any other terms.”  He rolled his eyes playfully as he went to find his fabric face mask to pull over his nose, down to hook under his chin and behind his ears.

“Oh come on, it’s not like someone’s gonna just up and recognize me that easily.”

“You don’t know that.  You’re probably more popular than you realize, Sunshine.” He flopped down into the bed as you called him that name you’ve call him since you were children and laughed.

“You’re never gonna stop calling me that are you?” You shook your head.  

“Nope.” You chuckled at him as he watched you pull at and adjust the neck of, yet another one of, your turtleneck.  

“I never knew you liked big sweaters like that before.  I would’ve brought some of mine to give to you if I had known.”  You let out a nervous chuckle.  

“Well, it was a sudden attraction.  I just put one on and all of a sudden I had 7 different colors and styles in my closet.”  Before he could mention anything further about your wardrobe, and feeling yourself get a little anxious, you grabbed the remaining things you needed before going to the bedroom door.  “Hurry up or I’ll leave without you.”  

“Aish, wait!”  He slapped on his mask, adjusted the hat you put on his head, as it was a bit tight, threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie was out by the front door to meet you a few minutes later.  Since most of his face was covered, and he didn’t want you to leave without him, he didn’t worry about make up.  

On the way to school, the two of you chatted about nothing really, him asking questions about the city, or about your classes.  When the two of you arrived at the entrance to your campus, you gave him your keys to the house, so he could get back inside, since you locked the door behind the two of you. You even punched in your address in his phone just in case he got lost.  

“Does this mean I can pick you up too?”  He slyly requested as you rolled your eyes and pointed to the mask and hat.  

“If your wearing that, sure.”  He jumped as he gave you a quick hug and even a happy kiss on your head.  You shook your head at him as he watched you walk off and he turned to return him.  Little did the both of you know, a group of 4 pairs of eyes watched you around the corner, giving your keys to an unknown man who seemed a little too affectionate towards you.  

The day went by surprisingly well?  It was odd for you not to be bothered the entire day by the small group of girls who decided to torment at you daily for fun. You even got to the point of suspicion that maybe they were taking the approach of making you feel jittery and paranoid as a new form of torture.  If they were, it was definitely working, of course you’d never show your paranoia.  But your mind was in turmoil.

But everything came around when that final bell rang.  You stood outside the building doors, heading towards the entrance and ringing Minhyuk to tell him you classes had ended for the day.  It had just started to ring when your shoulder was tugged from behind you and you were turned to face 4, rather annoyed and furious faces of 4 rather ungrateful girls.  

“You thought you were going to get a break?  Not likely.”  The girl who grabbed your shoulder sneered at you as she grabbed onto the fabric of your sweater, wrapping her fingers around it and dragging you around the perimeter of the building. You grunted and pulled back in protest, digging your heels into the ground and gritting your teeth.  

“Of all days you finally choose to stop being a pushover, you choose today to fight back?  Some being stubborn and get over here!” She sneered at you as she eventually got you to the back of the school building and pushed you to the wall.  It was then that the shouting, name calling and hitting and kicking started.  You’d pushed at them, fighting back more now.  You’d push at their shoulders, pull at their hair since they were the sensitive girls about their scalp, you even went and kicked at their stomachs to get them to back off.  

All while, none of you 5 were aware of the phone on the ground beside you that had an active line.  Minhyuk who picked up your call, hear everything and was out the door with Hyungwon and Kihyun behind him.  

When they got to the school, they didn’t see you in the entrance or when they asked a few students, they either didn’t know who you were or didn’t see you.  They all had their faces covered, as their running around would bring enough attention enough.  When Hyungwon suggested the back of the building, the three men were all running to the location.  

When they rounded a corner, they all froze for a moment and watched the scene in front of them.  They listened as they called you slurs for giving your keys to a strange man, accusing you of ‘whoring yourself up to the nearest guy’, and their mind reeled when you fought back at them.  

Angry tears stung your eyes as you had a split lip and bruises forming on your arms and cheeks.  Your sweater had been so disheveled that your previous, healing bruises and scrapes were visible.  Minhyuk finally moved and ran towards the group of the 5 of you when a girl dug both of her hands into your hair and started yanking you around by your strands.  

He grabbed the wrists of the girls and unlatched them from you as Hyungwon and Kihyun stood on either side of you, Minhyuk in front of you.  You had slumped against the wall, sliding to the ground, your hair obscuring your view, but you could see legs in front of you as well as three shadows drowning your form.

“What are you doing to her?!”  You wanted to cry as you realized that it was Minhyuk who came and pulled the girl away from you.  Of all the ways to find out about this, it had to be this stupid fight.  Hyungwon and Kihyun stood silent as they glanced between Minhyuk and you, watching the rage in his eyes and his curled fists.  

Minhyuk’s angry boiled higher when he saw that the lanyard of one of the girls keys was hanging out of her pocket, and decorated with Monsta X. Were they serious?  His fans, his precious Monbebe’s he cares so much about, were bullying his little sister?! He took a breath before he pulled off the hat you gave him this morning and then dropped one side of his mask to hang on only one of his ears, fully showing who he was.  

The girls let out a horrified gasp, all in unison as they looked at each other than to Minhyuk.  Their gazes to went to Hyungwon and Kihyun who in turn removed their masks.  Minhyuk took a small step forward.  He wouldn’t lay a hand on the girls, no matter how angry he was, but he wasn’t about to back down or lower his intimidation levels when his precious little sister was behind him on the ground.

“I’ll ask you again.  What are you doing to my sister?!” The girls all suddenly lost all their previous vigor and shriveled up into shy and confused figures.  Minhyuk ran his hand of his face as he turned and bent down to you pushing your hair out of your face. His face grow worried as he watched your eyes not look up to him, but remain lowered.  “Are you okay?”  You remained silent as he ran his thumb over your cheek, brushing some dirt off of you.  “Y/N.. please?”  

You slowly looked up to your brother as you brought in your bottom lip to bite on it and reached to grab his shirt as you lowered your head again.  He could tell from the shaking of your shoulder, you were crying, but more out of frustration than pain.  You were mad he found out, you were mad you at yourself for fighting back, and you were mad for dragging not just him, but Hyungwon and Kihyun into this as well.  

Kihyun took the initiative as Minhyuk sat with you.

“Just leave.”  He looked at the girls dead in the face as they all jumped at his sudden declaration.  “If she ever comes back to her house, or even mentions any of you to us again, we won’t just be angry, we’ll be disappointed.  It’s despicable when people like you 4 pick on someone who’s done nothing wrong.  It’s even more so when those people who attack someone claim to be fans of ours.”  Kihyun’s strongest point was his ability to nag and nitpick but you’ve never been more happy that his maternal instincts kicked in here.  Just this once, you wouldn’t mind him getting onto, and scolding, someone.  

The girls scurried off as Hyungwon helped you stand and lift you onto Minhyuk’s back. Everyone placed their hats and masks back on as you lay on Minhyuk’s back, all the way back to your house.  When you arrived, the rest of the boys were at the door, waiting after getting a text from Hyungwon about what happened.  

They had dug up all your wraps, bandages, creams, lotions, peroxides, pills, anything they could find that might help patch you up.  They took it all and placed it in the kitchen, where Minhyuk then put you in a chair and with little to no convincing, your turtleneck was pulled off your chest and the boys started working.

Along the process of cleaning you up, all of the boys started to joke and push around with each other.  Telling stupid jokes, talking in strange voices, acting dramatic and even going to the point of doing aegyo for you just so you would smile again and, of course, it worked.  The rest of the day was spent with you in shorts and a hoodie Wonho lent you, since you preferred his, and the boys pampering you.  

They’d help you clean up, or make you take a break.  Kihyun even took over cooking for the night, with the help of Changkyun.  They didn’t want to talk about what happened, at least not before Minhyuk did.  He was your brother, your family, they wanted to wait until the closest two people in the small house talked it out first before they did.  

So that night, when you and Minhyuk sat in bed, the others sleeping in other rooms, he and you talked it out.  You explained how it had happened when you first started university and how it wasn’t anything but harmless words.  You told him how you didn’t want him to worry about a couple of low life bullies when he was so busy all the time, but he just told you that you were flat out wrong.  

He was angry, but more than anything, he just wanted you to be safe again.  You explained how your sweaters weren’t just for your growing love for them, but to hide your injuries and bruises.  You told him you took care of them to an extent, but would never dwell on them.  It was the first time you had fought back so harshly today, and it was because they were indirectly bringing him into the situation.  

“When they started bad mouthing you, I dunno, I just lost my temper.”  He pulled you to put your shoulder against his as the two of you lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling.  He sighed as the two of you have been talking for a while and he understood the situation better, so he had the time to cool down.  

“I know.  I’m glad you finally fought back, they should stop messing with you now.”  You nodded at him.  “I’m still upset though.  How can I go back to Korea when I know there’s still a chance you’ll be picked on again?”  You shook your head.  

“I’ll be sure to tell you if I’m ever a victim again.  I promise.”

“Yeah?  Well if you are, you bet I’m gonna be taking time off to fly up here and put more people in their place.”  You snickered.

“You gonna bring back up with you then too?”  You huffed as you mentioned Hyungwon and Kihyun with him today, acting like 2 bodyguards.  

“Hey, they had planned to come with me anyways.” It was silent for a bit before he proposed to finally getting to sleep, as much as he didn’t want you to go, you still had classes tomorrow.  You couldn’t afford to miss them. “Do you really promise?”  You nodded sleepily to him as you were half asleep.  

“I promise, Sunshine.”  He stuck out his pinky you to as you smiled and linked you pinky with his.  

“Pinky promise.”  The two of you muttered together as the two of you fell asleep that night with your pinkies linked and the promise of a protective big brother. You’d get better, and so would he. From that day, no had dared to pick at you again, and your secret of being Minhyuk’s little sister, successfully stayed a secret.  

And as promised, you always told him everything from then on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, I apologize for the slow content, I’m working on more requests and filling them out as quickly as I can!! 

[fluoresensitive]

FILTHINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS: Ruminations on Tender is the Flesh, Gross-Out Horror, and a Society Scared of Being Nasty

*writes an essay about my love for gross shit*

[fluoresensitive]

Here’s a neater, slightly longer version of the ask for Substack (and Patreon, if you give me two seconds!)

The first thing you must know about me to get into the mind of Vile is that I’m one of those horror sickies who love to go, “Hell, yeah! Romanticizing violence and cannibalism! A chainsaw to the head and a knife to the gut can be something so personal”. I should probably, in the future, find more academic articles and books about that phenomenon, but I didn’t go into writing Viola Vile with them, so they’re not super relevant right now. All we have is what I’m bringing to the table…A funny sort of crossed-wire situation where I see blood and gore and go, “Oh, shit! Hot, in an artsy-erotica way!”

[fluoresensitivearchived]

Well, why can’t they see us cry? What is this country, this world, that it expects us (us, of course, being Black people) to keep a stiff upper lip? We’re not meant to waver, wobble. Weakness is not an option. Must we fix our faces, stop crying ‘fore they give us something to cry about? My face is fixed, I’ve been fixed since the first time I ever had a white teacher look at me like I was less than dirt. Face fixed by violence and circumstance—Screw you, America, I’m crying.

I got angry, and then I started crying, and then I started writing. Inspired by @notchainedtotrauma‘s beautiful piece, Nobody is There: Bless us Who Never Tell, and of course, the Black urge to put our pain into art.

[fluoresensitivearchived]

“...As true as this is, fanfiction cannot be compared to the works of serious, dedicated authors, nor can it be compared to established literary works. Someone whose never in their life imagined a character, setting or plot of their own, entirely independent from the work of someone else, cannot call themselves a serious author. Fanfiction is an amalgam of borrowed intellectual property, a handful of rehashed plots, and a honestly God-awful collection of over-used but seldom understood tropes, purple prose and plot devices that have been passed around from the first fanfic ever published.”

[fluoresensitivearchived]

I do not care if people don’t like me, like that’s whatever. Everyone is not for everyone, and I know my personality may not be everyone’s thing. What is unacceptable is devoting your entire being to disliking me and recruiting people to dislike me because of some weird white victim complex. If you hate me, hate me alone, hate me with dignity. Do not build your entire personality based of hating an internet stranger who you don’t know from nobody. Right? Right.

[fluoresensitivearchived]

My biggest hurdle is accepting that no matter what I say or do some people will be very devoted to misunderstanding me, sometimes on purpose and sometimes just because they really don’t get it. It’s like, my least favorite thing to be misrepresented or have my actions/words taken out of context (#autism moment), but you really can’t make a tiger change its stripes nor can you give somebody else your brain, especially when they’re choosing to see you in a negative light. Oh, well. C’est la fucking vie.

[fluoresensitivearchived]

🌙 fluoresensitive tag list; april 2021 update 🌙

KEEP YOUR HEAD TO THE SKY: afro-futurism, black futurism, space vibes. very much inspired by missy elliot, sun ra, and earth, wind & fire. the title comes from the earth, wind, and fire song, ‘keep your head to the sky’

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!: a more general futurism tag, more cyberpunk vibes than anything. tag title comes from doja cat’s ‘cyber sex’

( SHE SCREAMS ): horror aesthetic tag!

ON HORROR: essays and notes on horror, sort of the inner workings of my spooky girl mind!

TENDERNESS TAG: love in all of its forms! ugh, i love love!

PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PEOPLE: a tag for my love of human nature, people who are just so kind and lovely; the feeling of holding a baby on your hip, laughing in the kitchen, tasting your friends’ drinks...yeah.

I AM MY MOTHER’S CHILD: mommy issues tag, but more genuinely... a tag about the difficult relationship between mothers and their daughters, wow. tag title comes from lorde’s ‘writer in the dark’

NOBODY (NO BODY): a tag for depersonalization, like when you feel all float-y and far away from your body. like how sometimes you’ll look in the mirror and not recognize the person who’s looking back at you, so foreign they are to you. tag title comes from mitski’s ‘nobody’

DESPERADO: cowboy tag, i wanna be a cowboy baby!

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (MONTERO) BY LIL NAS X: religious aesthetics, religious horror, demons and holy abominations. the tag title, of course, comes from creator/destroyer of christianity as a whole, lil nas ‘montero’ x

SOMETHING’S GOT A HOLD OF ME!: religious rapture ... like have y’all ever been in a Black church and watched somebody catch the spirit... Wig! tag title comes from the etta james song of the same name.

FEAR NOT!: angel tag! very much met gala 2019, very much halos and wings, and many pairs of eyes!

CHERCHEZ LA FEMME: femme fatales, dangerous women, when you’re lobotomized and wild and a lil’ hysteric, but there’s something beautiful about the way you’re doing it, very glamorous. tag title comes from dr. buzzard’s savannah band’s ‘cherchez la femme’

LIVE FROM THE EMERALD CITY: old school glamour, 70s vibes, inspired by the emerald city sequence from ‘the wiz’!

MY SKIN, MY LOGO: Black culture and beauty! Ah, we’re so lovely, I love being Black! Tag title comes from the Solange song of the same name.

DON’T TOUCH MY HAIR: Black hair! Tag title comes from the Solange song of the same name!

MINNIE RIPERTON’S LES FLEURS: white girls doing cottagecore? ugly, imperalist, colonialist, very much plantation owner/manifest destiny nonsense. BLACK GIRLS DOING COTTAGECORE? fabulous, inspiring, especially if they're indigenous like yes queen! reclaim the land stolen from you! reclaim the land your ancestors toiled over!

WE MUST NOT LOOK AT GOBLIN MEN: faery tag, good folk tag, changelings and the such, the tag of my people wow! tag title comes from the christina rosetti poem, ‘the goblin market’

I SAW THINGS I IMAGINED: surrealism tag, wow otherwordly scenes! tag title comes from solange’s ‘things i imagined’

I BEEN ON: Black nobility, Black royalty and luxury, all gold everything, if you will. tag title comes from the bey song of the same title!

NOT YET LOST ALL OUR GRACES: luxury / royalty gen tag! all ‘i been on’ things are ‘not yet lost all our graces’ but not all ‘not yet lost all our graces’ are ‘i been on’, if you feel me. tag title comes from lorde’s ‘team’

HOUSEKEEPING TAGS;

MY WRITING: tag for all my writing / works

ON WRITING: writing advice, notes and essays on writing

FROM THE DESK OF MX YAH YAH: personal essays by me

YAH YAH’S MIXTAPES: spotify mixes, spotify playlists and the Such

MEWDBOARDS / COLLAGES

RECS BY YAH YAH: recs from me for books, movies and Things