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picnokinesis · 3 years ago

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Comparing Mathématique – Original vs Rewrites

Hello, cleanwhiteroom fans! As I’m sure many of you know, cwr has recently started reposting chapters of their incredible SGU fic, Mathématique, over on their blogspot. It was mentioned somewhere by cwr that the versions of the chapters being posted are updated, and include some rewrites. I wasn’t sure if I would notice or not – but, upon reading, I immediately picked up on things, because there are some reasonably significant changes in certain chapters. And, also, it turns out that I internalised this fic more than I realised. Who’d have thought? Anyway, it was driving me crazy, but luckily I’ve got a pdf of the original version from ao3, which I downloaded back in 2016 before the fic got deleted, and so could actually play spot the difference rather than just perpetually wondering if I’d misremembered entire sections. Turns out my memory is not defective – and those rewrites? Are very interesting.

Which, naturally, means I want to ramble about it – namely, what some of the differences are, and why I think cwr chose to change these things in particular and what they might mean. With a bonus of one thing I expected them to change, which they didn’t, and is also driving me crazy in terms of trans-dimensional continuity. As a warning, this is long – it ended up turning into a several thousand word essay (including excerpts haha), so read on under the cut!

Most of the changes can be categorised by the plot thread that they affect, so I’m gonna split them up just for ease rather than going chapter by chapter. Because the original pdf and the updated chapters on blogspot have different chapter titles [unscientific aside: because of ao3 formatting, the ‘Circuit’ prologue becomes ‘Chapter 1’ in the pdf, but not on blogspot] I will be referring to the chapters by the numbering of the updated chapters on blogspot. For any chapter number that I mention here, the chapter number in the original pdf, if you have it, is (n+1) – in case anyone wants to do their own comparisons.

So, first off…

What the HELL is up with Daniel Jackson?

Also known as: I don’t remember being this worried about Daniel the first time around.

One of the things that’s always made me laugh about Math in comparison to FoD is that Daniel Jackson as, well, himself, is such a trip compared to Destiny’s AI taking on Daniel’s image. Daniel in Math is just a lot more…well, human.

Only. Hm. Not quite. And this is something that is in the original version of Math – there’s that whole conversation that Daniel has with Young in Chapter 20, where he says ‘both sides are watching me all the time’ – by which, of course, he means the Ori and the Ancients – and then one of my favourite moments in the chapter Tradition, where Teal’c looks at Daniel and, well:

Daniel Jackson is looking at her with an expression that Teal’c recognizes. His eyes are afire and unmasked, burning with the savage compassion that has been at his core always and that has come to prominence since his death and his ascension.

Teal’c imagines it to be a difficult thing—to be the beloved of a man who has spent his life challenging every god he meets.

So yeah – in the original, there’s a lot about Daniel being somewhat different after his foray into ascension, and that he’s under a lot of pressure from the other ascended beings, of which he is extremely aware of.

But then we get to the rewrites. When reading through the updated version, the first big block of changes that I hit were in Chapter 5, during a conversation between Rush and Jackson after Rush has a panic attack and passes out because he heard a ‘continuous tone’, caused by Young firing a gun close to his ears. I’m gonna talk more about the extensive changes to the main discussion in that scene later, but for now, consider how Jackson’s behaviour changes in this particular rewrite as well as the dialogue:

Original

Jackson looked away. “Yeah. I know, but I think—I think [Telford is] very focused on something that is very dangerous to you.”

Rush looked over at him sharply, studying the line of his shoulders, the angle of his head. “You clearly know something. Something that I don’t.”

“Yes,” Jackson said.

“What?” Rush snapped.

“I’m trying to get you enough security clearance so that I can tell you.”

“How long is that going to take?”

“I don’t know,” Jackson murmured. “General Landry is a lot more—by the book than Jack ever was.”

Rush sighed. “So what am I supposed to do with this—metadata you’ve just given me?”

Jackson smiled faintly.

Rewrite

Jackson looked away. “Yeah. I know, but I think—I think he’s very focused on something that is very dangerous to you.”

Rush looked over at him sharply, studying the line of his shoulders, the angle of his head. “You know something. Something that I don’t. Why won’t you just say it?”

Jackson brought his hands to his face, laughing a short, frustrated laugh. “I’m trying to figure out how, Nick.” Jackson looked over at him, intense regret in those blue fire eyes. “Unfortunately, I think one day you’ll understand my position. But until then, I’m doing my best.”

“How long is that going to take?”

“My best?” Jackson seemed slightly cheered by the question. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it, believe it or not. How long does my best take? A while, I think. But I’ve got a good track record and a few ideas.” He looked into the empty air again, like he was addressing someone Rush couldn’t see. His tone turned darker, quieter. “And I’m getting better at living this way. Better all the time.

Rush regarded the other man cautiously. “So what am I supposed to do with this—metadata you’ve given me?”

Jackson looked away from the nothingness he’d been addressing.

Out of context, it possibly isn’t the clearest, but in the original, the insinuation is that Jackson is mostly worried about Telford’s actions – obviously, Unnamed Committee #4 and all that entails, with the plan to use Anubis’ lab – and how it endangers Rush. His concerns seem to be more focused on working around Telford and the higher echelons of the SGC. But in the rewrites…there is much more a sense of what he later says in Chapter 20 – that the Ancients and the Ori are watching him, and that it’s THEM who he’s worried about, rather than the SGC. That it’s the Ancients and the Ori who are directly constricting what he can and can’t do – and, seemingly, are actually in the kitchen with them. Whether cwr always intended this and rewrote it to make it clearer, or changed their mind on how they wanted this scene to go, I’m not sure. But it’s incredibly interesting. And worrying. My goodness, I’m stressed for poor Daniel. And this isn’t the only rewrite in this chapter that has him staring at nothing, or seeming to address thin air – here’s another!

Original

“And it occurred to me, or, rather, I remembered something that had recently occurred to me,” he paused, taking a sip of his awful drink. “That I had an idea of what the ninth one—of what it might be. What it must be. What it is."

“What is it?” Jackson whispered.

“It’s tonal,” Rush said, his eyes closing.

Rewrite

“What?” Jackson whispered, looking into the empty air, as though there might be listeners there.

“It’s tonal,” Rush said.

It’s followed on nicely by a line that was added to Chapter 6, including a very interesting observation from Young:

Original

A gust of wind lifted the blinds clear of the windowsill, fluttering the newspaper and styrofoam that had come from various boxes, flaring Rush’s hair. The mathematician’s eyes weren’t tracking anything.

Absently, Young crossed his arms, wondering what the hell was going on in Rush’s head. It didn’t look like he was turning over a run-of-the-mill math problem or grinding away at five-digit multiplication. It looked, instead, like something unnerving.

Rewrite

A gust of wind lifted the blinds clear of the windowsill, fluttering the shreds of newspaper and broken styrofoam that had come out of various boxes, flaring Rush’s hair. The mathematician’s eyes weren’t tracking anything. And, with a little snap, Young made the connection. Rush looked like he was listening in the same way Jackson looked in those moments when he was addressing thin air.

What that meant, Young couldn’t say, but if he had to hang his ‘bad feeling’ on something—the connection between Rush and Jackson was as a good a peg as any. He crossed his arms, listening to the sounds of the night. Crickets. A car engine here and there. The wind in the blinds.

Arguably, more about Rush than Jackson here, but the insinuation is so interesting – the idea that Jackson is notably strange to the more human and grounded denizens of the SGC, but also taking this in the context of what Jackson did and said in Chapter 5? Connecting how Jackson behaves with how Rush is behaving? Interesting. Very, very interesting….and also overlaps with one of the other rewrite categories, so check out the next section for more on that.

Then – Chapter 38. Honestly, by the time I got to this one, I was expecting there to be more changes, but the only key difference that I noticed here was this addition:

“I can feel them.”

“Jackson, what are you talking about?”

“I can feel them here.”

[‘Them’, of course, referring to the Ancients]

Now, this bit obviously follows on quite neatly from the conversation with Young in chapter 20, so it makes sense to have this addition to better lead up to Daniel’s outburst at the Ancients later in this scene. But, within the context of the changes in Chapter 5 and Chapter 6, for me personally it changes the read of this scene slightly. Maybe this is just how I read it personally, but in the original version, I saw it as the Ancients affecting Rush ‘remotely’, in a sort of vaguely omnipresent or omniscient way, and that Daniel was yelling at them because he knows that, wherever he is, they can hear him. Whereas with this rewrite, and with what Daniel says and does in those earlier chapters? It’s explicit in the text that, no, the Ancients are RIGHT THERE. In the room. Directly affecting what’s going on, directly observing, maybe even directly interfering. Which is super interesting, especially considering their strict rules about NOT interfering, and also…concerning. Again, I’ll touch on that more in the next section.

But then, going back at bit – let’s look at the chapter called The Sky Calls To Us, aka the Sam pov chapter. Because the changes are kind of wild, as far as I’m concerned. There are whole swathes that I could copy and paste, so I’ll just show a few:

1 - Original

“I have seen you,” the girl says, “on video feeds.”

Carter thinks of Daniel.

“We have no texts,” the girl says. “No writings on how one might communicate with machines. Only examples, gained with great difficulty.”

She’s self-taught.

1 - Rewrite

“I have seen you,” the girl says, “on video feeds.”

Daniel’s face flashes on the screen of Carter’s mind.

“We have no texts,” the girl says. “No writings on how one might communicate with machines. Only examples, gained with great difficulty.”

So she’s self-taught, Daniel whispers, somehow there beside her in the mist. Somehow, interested, up to the very end.

2 - Original

“Ginn,” Carter repeats, wiping the blood away from her mouth, struggling to breathe in air that is becoming thicker. Whiter. More opaque.

The bowl is smooth under her hands. The light from the television flickers into the dark.

She shuts her eyes, and it feels, to her, like death.

She thinks of Daniel, she holds to him to prevent the mental misfiring that’s coming to her oxygen-starved brain as an anoxic inevitability. The odds that she will die here are high. They are astronomical. It is a near certainty.

“You could stay,” Carter says. “You could stay with us, if you help me.”

2 - Rewrite

“Ginn,” Carter repeats, wiping the blood away from her mouth, struggling to breathe in air that is becoming thicker. Whiter. More opaque.

How many times have you seen me die? Daniel whispers. She’s soldered him to her soul. Her dearest friend. How many times have you seen me walk from life into memory? If these are your last moments, Sam, make them count.

“You could stay,” she offers. “You could stay with us, if you help me.”

3 - Original

She thinks of Daniel.

She thinks that if he had been there, in the hallway, in the turbid air, maybe it wouldn’t have turned out this way. Maybe he would have walked out into the corridor, hands extended, expression open, asking nicely, and the universe would have fallen into accord with his wishes.

She cannot breathe.

But maybe, if Daniel had been there, the air circulators would have gone offline, and everyone would have died.

3 - Rewrite

If Daniel had been here, maybe he’d have walked out into the corridor, hands extended, expression open, asking nicely, and the universe would have fallen into accord with his wishes.

Then again, Daniel says, with a gentle amusement, maybe if I’d been here, all the air circulators would have gone offline, and everyone would have died.

Like – sorry, HELLO? CWR? There is so much here. Pretty much EVERY TIME Carter thinks of Daniel in the original, she gets Daniel ‘talking’ to her in the new version. Now, you could argue I’m reading too much into this – that this is just another way of writing the same idea. Carter hearing Daniel’s voice, imagining him there with her rather than just thinking about it. She is dying, after all. But! I think it’s more than that. This, in part, is thanks to a fanciful theory I have about FoD – because, of course, there’s a significant portion of the At All Angles chapters where Rush is hearing and seeing people who aren’t really there. For the most part, the people Rush sees in these chapters are confirmed to be mental constructs – with the exception of one character. I’m going to assume anyone reading this knows what happens in At All Angles, and so I’ll just jump right in and say that 1) ‘Young’ appears before Rush makes his hash table; 2) it’s stated by the hash table itself via Telford that Young is not in the hash table; 3) Young seems to have more insight into what’s going on than Rush. Suggesting, to me, at least, that maybe he’s not a mental construct at all – because my other theory would be that he’s the part of Young left over in Rush’s mind from their mental link, and so would be a construct of sorts. But my main theory is that this is ascended!Young, since we know that Young ascends at the very end of FoD. He’s no longer tied by time, right? He can be anywhere, anywhen…so why not go back to when Rush was cut off and alone and needed help? Note that he doesn’t interfere…he’s just…there. It's interesting to compare him to how Riley acts, who we know is an ascended Ancient – albeit from another d-brane.

ANYWAY – the point is, is there a chance that in the rewrite of The Sky Calls To Us, this is ascended!Daniel, jumping ahead to a time when his friend needs him? Just like how Daniel sits with Jack post-Baal torture in the episode Abyss, and how he helps Teal’c in the The Changeling (…can you tell s6 is my favourite season of sg1?), he’s not interfering, he doesn’t actively change anything here because he can’t…but that doesn’t mean he’s not actually there. And it works so nicely with this ongoing thread of ascended beings brushing with our world, and that conflict between observation and interference. And, I could be completely wrong, but my goodness, the more I think about it, the more I’m obsessed with it. And it explains why cwr specifically made these changes to this chapter in particular. It genuinely took me off guard how many there were in this bit.

Moving on…

Rush vs Continuous Tones (and their Ancient variants)

Like I said, this is linked to everything I just talked about, because it focuses very much on the conversation Daniel has with Rush in Chapter 5. Namely, how he reacts to Rush’s reaction to the ‘continuous tone’. As I said earlier, this chapter is the first block of significant changes, and probably one of the most edited scenes that I’ve found in the entire fic. There are more changes than the ones I’ve grabbed here, but compare these excerpts:

1 - Original

“Yup. I’m getting that. But you hyperventilated the point of unconsciousness why, exactly?”

Rush said nothing, feeling the enormity of what remained unsaid pressing down upon his mind. The immediacy of the concerto was difficult to get away from but he grasped for another way to express what had happened.

“I’ve been thinking about unlocking the ninth chevron address,” Rush began, “Quite—intensively.”

“I know,” Jackson murmured.

1 - Rewrite

“Yup. Got that much. But you passed out why, exactly?”

“You want me to guess?” Jackson asked. After a long pause, he continued. “You’ve been working intensively on Ancient technology. You’re learning their language. And my guess is that you had some kind of somatosensory experience. Or overload. I can’t explain the nature of it. I can only tell you it’s happened to me.”

Rush glanced over at him, brows raised.

“You heard something,” Jackson said, like he could read it straight out of Rush’s mind. And perhaps he could. “What was it?”

2 - Original

“Yes. One of them—one of the cyphers is probably—almost certainly—tonal. Based on crystal resonance frequencies.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“Does that upset you?” Jackson asked.

“Why would it?” Rush whispered, his eyes closed, trying to hear the sound of tires over pavement, the sound of insects in the night, the sound of Jackson breathing slow and quiet, the sound of Vala through the closed door, speaking with Colonel Young.

“I can think of a few reasons,” Jackson said quietly.

2 - Rewrite

“Yes. One of them—one of the cyphers is probably—almost certainly—tonal.”

“I think I understand what you’re not quite saying,” Jackson looked up into the nothingness of midair, blue eyes burning. “The culture of the Ancients isn’t dead.”

“You may understand what I’m not quite saying, but I don’t understand what you’re not quite saying,” Rush said, unsettled.

“I know,” Jackson said, looking back at him, sharply. “And I’m sorry. I’m working on it. In the meantime, I know that—that Colonel Telford has been pushing you very hard to solve this.”

3 - Original

“Colonel Young thinks that you had a panic attack in his kitchen.”

“What do you think.”

“I think you are one of the most intelligent individuals I have ever encountered. I think that your ability to compensate for disordered thinking is probably astronomically high. And so when you spend half an hour on the floor not responding to anything, I think that it’s probably something— more serious, or, possibly, different in nature than a panic attack triggered by a gun fired right next to your ear.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” Rush snapped.

“Nothing,” Jackson murmured. “Except to suggest that maybe you stay with me, instead of Colonel Young.”

“No thanks.”

“Somehow,” Jackson said with a rueful smile, “I knew you were going to say that. You realize I’m trying to help you, right?”

3 - Rewrite

Jackson sighed in defeat. “All right. Fine. In the meantime, Colonel Young thinks that you had a panic attack in his kitchen. So does Vala. I think that’s for the best.”

Rush raised his eyebrows. “And your personal view of the situation?”

“Is better left unsaid. But I think you should stay with me tonight.”

“Absolutely not,” Rush paused. “Unless you care to make a cogent argument regarding why exactly you think that’s necessary?”

Jackson opened both hands, his expression agonized. “As of right now, as cogent arguments go, I’ve got nothing I can say aloud. But—you do realize I’m trying to help you, right?”

What Daniel seems to think is going on here reads completely differently in the rewrite, which I find absolutely fascinating. In the original version of this scene, you could read it as Daniel believing Rush to be exhausted, grief-ridden, and REALLY not coping well with, uh, everything (which isn’t wrong, per se), and so his panic attack and subsequent passing-out had a very earthly etiology. Whereas the newer version suggests that Daniel believes there to be some kind of outside influence at play – namely, the Ancients themselves. This, combined with the way he keeps freaking looking off into empty space (hello, Rush looking at the AI and Young looking at Ancient!Riley in FoD) and, again, that new line in Chapter 38 that Daniel can sense the Ancients in the room with them, it suggest that, uh, there was definitely some kind of ascended presence in Young’s apartment. Which is. Hm. Concerning. And makes me somewhat terrified for whatever cwr has planned for the rest of the plot (but also SO STUPIDLY EXCITED) – especially when you think about how Daniel says to Rush ‘unfortunately, I think one day you’ll understand my position’ – which suggests that he thinks that Rush is going to come in between the Ori and the Ancients. [Also, as a side note, the idea of the Ancients being in the kitchen aligns very nicely with the Ancient hologram on Altera in Lantean Dream Team being suggested to not be an actual hologram – a la Oma in that sga/sg-1 crossover episode that I forget the name of – and, like, that line was in the original version of Math, but it resonates with more undertones now than it did before, yknow?]

Other than to emphasise what’s probably an upcoming plot arc, I actually have a pretty solid theory on why cwr made these changes specifically. When I was scrounging around on Wayback Machine like a creeper, looking for some long lost cwr ficlets, I stumbled across parts of elementals’ deleted DreamWidth page, which had a ton of commentaries about the FoD and DCwT podfic chapters. For the commentary for At All Angles Part 3, I found some interesting thoughts from cwr – significantly abbreviated, but if anyone is interested in reading the whole post, lemme know, I’ll give you a map…or maybe just a google doc with all the posts saved, if I’m feeling nice:

“…I am regularly asked about my portrayal of mental illness…I just want to start this thing off with a clearly articulated idea, for all time, documented in a place that only a fraction of my readership will ever find it. That idea is this: I am not writing about mental illness…I’m writing about interesting ethical or psychological crises brought on by the amazing ability of science fiction to dramatize thought experiments regarding the human psyche…”

Now, this is actually talking about AAA!Rush, so it’s obviously a very different scenario to what we have in Math, Chapter 5 – but! The point here is this: I think, with these rewrites, that cwr was trying to emphasise much more clearly that what happens to Rush in this chapter is less about his own mind, and much more about the Ancients and their tech messing with his mind. I think they’re trying to underline that this isn’t a mental illness thing. It’s a sci-fi thought experiment, which happens to have some overlapping symptoms. With a dash of ‘the Ancients are screwed up and terrifying but also fascinating whelp’.

There are more changes related to this plot point – namely, the one where I went ‘no, Rush definitely argued with Young there!!’ when I read the new version hahaha. This is in Chapter 36, when Rush is starting to hear Beethoven Ninth in an Ancient key signature. Compare, if you will:

Original

“Has anything like this ever happened to you before?” Lam asked.

“No,” Rush said.

“Yes,” Young said.

Rush and Lam looked over at him.

“Maybe a month ago, in my kitchen, he was hearing a continuous tone and then hyperventilated to the point of passing out,” Young said.

“It appeared similar to you perhaps,” Rush said, one hand still pressed to his head, “but I assure you it was not the same.”

Rewrite

“Has anything like this ever happened to you before?” Lam asked.

“No,” Rush said.

“Yes,” Young said.

Rush and Lam looked over at him.

“Maybe a month ago, in my kitchen, he was hearing a continuous tone and then hyperventilated to the point of passing out,” Young said.

Rush sighed, then nodded. “That time it was Mendelssohn.”

Rush? Agreeing with Young? I was shocked too. Except, with the rewrites? This interaction makes a lot more sense. Because of the changes in what Daniel said, it’s no longer ‘the continuous tone upset Rush because of him grieving Gloria and the way his mind works, but it was distinctly different to Rush being directly influenced by the Ancients on Altera’. It’s now ‘these two incidents were probably caused by the same thing’. Which…again! I’m afraid for Rush! So afraid!

Our Favourite Lantean Dream Team

Also known as: I distinctly remember not being this worried about John Sheppard the first time around. Because there is some FUNKY stuff going on here.

Basically, cwr added in a whole new plot element – after Altera, Rush has started seeing/dreaming about Atlantis, from Sheppard’s point of view. Here’s some examples:

Chapter 25 – Original

Rush leaned forward, his hands braced against the table, trying to suppress the subtle shaking of his muscles. He wondered what John Sheppard was doing. He imagined the other man facing down some nebulous threat halfway across the universe—exhausted, full of secrets, kept company by his city on the sea.

Chapter 25 – Rewrite

Chapter 28 (1) – Original

Rush stood, pressing his hand against the glass of the window, locked inside a clean white room, consumed by a cryptographic spread, waiting for abduction and torture. He looked out over a wide expanse of asphalt roads and parking lots to the distant edges of the Rocky Mountains.

The cyphers would consume him. But they were his. They were his and he was theirs. They belonged to one another, like Colonel Sheppard and his lost city.

Someone knocked on his door. It was almost certainly Young.

Chapter 28 (1) – Rewrite

The cyphers would consume him. But they were his. They were his and he was theirs. They belonged to one another, like Colonel Sheppard and his lost city.

He’d dreamed of Atlantis, the last time he’d slept. A silver pier. He’d been hitting golf balls into the sunset.

Odd.

Someone knocked on his door. It was almost certainly Young.

Chapter 28 (2) – Original

“If you are caught in endless torment here, it will be nothing less than you deserve.”

“Why?” he asks against the blade, its edge an asymptote of death.

It does not halt its press of blade but when it speaks, it’s kind. “This is what you believe.”

He cannot speak past slide of knife, it cuts into his throat—

Rush snapped awake, muscles contracting instinctively, his hands coming to his throat fast and bilateral. Gasping. Disoriented. Surrounded by light and soaked in sweat.

Chapter 28 (2) – Rewrite

“If you’re caught in endless torment here, it will be nothing less than you deserve.”

“Why?” he asks against the blade, its edge an asymptote of death.

It does not halt its press of blade but when it speaks, it’s kind. “This is what you believe.” He cannot speak past slide of knife, it cuts into his throat, and—

He’s elsewhere.

Alone. Running. Through corridors of light. His hands are not his hands, his clothes are not his clothes. He keeps a measured pace. The floor is silver metal and rings quietly with his steps. The walls are made of glass. Above him is the open sky. Light glitters off the water. He can’t hear the waves he can see.

Rush snapped awake, muscles contracting instinctively, his hands coming to his throat fast and bilateral. Gasping. Disoriented. Surrounded by light and soaked in sweat.

Chapter 48 – Original

Examining his own reflection felt like examining a stranger, and made him feel both uncomfortable and anticipatory, as if his doppelgänger might do something unexpected and outside his control. Despite the fascination and unease that considering his own image held for him, he found it difficult not to fall asleep, as he was exhausted; difficult not to touch the things attached to his head, as he was something of a masochist—scratch that, in his case schadenfreudist was certainly the more appropriate term; and difficult to resist pulling out his wallet to examine the drawing by J Shep as he was insatiably curious about the thing.

As soon as he’d realized that the stylized drawing was accompanied by Ancient, he’d translated it the same night in the privacy of the pink and white tiled second floor bathroom of the Wallace household. At this point, he could have reproduced the thing in his sleep.

Chapter 48 – Rewrite

At night, he dreamed of a city on a sea. He dreamed of writing on glass with a light pen in a room full of scientists. In his dreams, always, he could feel the devices at his temples in a way he couldn’t while awake. They bothered him.

Just last night, he’d been sitting in a silver-gilt window, watching the sea and sky, scribbling on a pad of paper with the word “classfied” stamped across the top. But his hands hadn’t been his own, and his handwriting had matched the J Shep drawing.

Troubling.

Sighing, he pulled out his wallet, and looked again at the paper. As soon as Rush had realized that the stylized drawing was accompanied by Ancient, he’d translated it the same night in the privacy of the pink and white tiled second floor bathroom of the Wallace household.

I feel like these basically speak for themselves. And on their own, they seem to suggest that there’s been some kind of mental bleedover from Sheppard to Rush, thanks to their experiences on Altera. But there’s also some rewrites that suggest that, whatever this is Rush is experiencing? Sheppard might also be experiencing it too. Consider:

Chapter 36 – Original

By the time thirteen hundred hours rolled around, Young had beaten Rush at chess six times, had a brief meeting with Colonel Carter, sat in on video conference call with McKay, and been marginally successful at keeping Rush focused long enough to eat something.

He wasn’t sure what the hell was going on.

Nor was anyone else, it seemed.

The leading hypothesis was that all of this had something to do with Rush’s unusual genetic panel coupled with either his recent trip to Altera or his near complete insomnia for the past several days.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you go through that damn gate,” Young said.

Chapter 36 – Rewrite

By the time thirteen hundred hours rolled around, Young had beaten Rush at chess six times, had a brief meeting with Colonel Carter, sat in on video conference call with McKay and Sheppard, and been marginally successful at keeping Rush focused long enough to eat something.

He wasn’t sure what the hell was going on.

Nor was anyone else, it seemed.

Sheppard, too, was having difficulty sleeping. Otherwise, the man was fine.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you go through that damn gate,” Young muttered, looking at Rush, who was staring into the middle distance, ignoring the soup in front of him.

Sheppard is having difficulty sleeping? That’s interesting – and more so when you think that cwr made the effort to specifically add this in. And then, in the Zelenka chapter, oh my days:

From Nothing, Nothing Comes (1) – Original

“I’m going to go pass the message up the chain that you guys have something,” Sheppard says, pushing away from the silver metal he’s been leaning against. When Sheppard leaves, it is only Zelenka and Rodney in the glass-enclosed lab beneath the gray sky.

From Nothing, Nothing Comes (1) – Rewrite

“I’m going to go pass the message up the chain that you guys have something,” Sheppard says, pushing away from the silver metal he’s been leaning against. He stumbles, rights himself on a lab bench.

Zelenka and Rodney stand, both of them starting toward him, but Sheppard waves them back.

“Are you gonna need these monstrosities we’re making?” Rodney snaps, fiery tone and frightened eyes. “What happened on that planet.”

“I’m fine, Rodney,” Sheppard says, heading toward the door. “Just tired.”

“Yeah, real convincing,” Rodney shouts after him.

From Nothing, Nothing Comes (2) – Original

“It is a good idea,” Rodney says, a quiet admission.

This is even more unnerving than the silence.

“Thank you,” Zelenka says, glancing up from his circuits and then back down.

Rodney says nothing more.

“It will not be for him like it was for you,” Zelenka says, his eyes on delicate rows of resistors.

From Nothing, Nothing Comes (2) – Rewrite

Rodney leans against a lab bench, bracing himself. “Ugh,” he mutters. “Who am I kidding.” He looks straight at Zelenka. “It is a good idea,” he says, a quiet admission.

This is even more unnerving than the silence.

“Thank you,” Zelenka says.

“What do you say we make two sets?” Rodney asks, his eyes darting to the doorway behind Sheppard. “Just in case.”

Zelenka nods, looks down, lets his eyes rest on delicate loops of wire, destined to become circuitry. In his peripheral vision, he sees Rodney take his seat, place his fingers on the keys of his laptop.

“It will not be for Dr. Rush like it was for you,” Zelenka says quietly.

So, it’s extremely obviously that cwr is leading up to something here. I’m not even going to bother trying to predict what, precisely – I’m very happy to just be in this for the ride. But I am extremely excited because one of my favourite plot threads of the ones left hanging back when we thought Math was gonna be a permanent WIP was the potential of Rush contacting Sheppard via that note in his wallet…like, I am SO excited to see where cwr goes with this!

Rush and Young

As an amusing side note, one of the things I noticed cwr cut out a LOT of...was Rush and Young swearing. Which is lowkey hilarious to me on many levels, but also particularly considering that one of the original tags for FoD on ao3 was more profanity than strictly required, which has always made me laugh.

But anyway, that’s not really related to my point for this one – I just happened to notice another example of it as I was searching for the excerpt I wanted. The point I want to make is this: in the rewrites, there’s much more of a sense of trust between Rush and Young than in the original.

Granted, it’s subtle – and a lot of the changes are really small things, such as Chapter 28 ending with Young saying “I think you should seriously consider visiting Atlantis” in the rewrite, compared to him just saying “Go to Atlantis” and Rush saying “I don’t think so” in the original. Which, arguably, barely changes anything – but there are a lot of little things like this, and it affects their dynamic. In this specific example, Young is ‘commanding’ Rush less, and Rush isn’t shown to be actually arguing back…which, I don’t know, it softens it a little? I can’t really put it into words, but the gradual impact of all of these is to make the dynamic between Rush and Young feel more…I want to say requited, but that isn’t quite right. It’s more like a mutual respect and trust, which they definitely had in the original version, but is just more emphasised in the new version.

But THEN – we get this MASSIVE change in Chapter 9. Take a look:

Original

“Where’d you leave your glasses?” Young asked, too quietly to be heard by anyone else.

“Jackson’s fucking nightstand,” Rush said, his tone as smooth as he could make it.

Young gave him a long, inscrutable look.

“Everett,” Mitchell called. “You coming, or what?”

Rewrite

“Where’d you leave your glasses?” Young asked, too quietly to be heard by anyone else.

“Jackson’s fucking nightstand,” Rush said, his tone as smooth as he could make it.

Young gave him a long, inscrutable look. Then he said, glancing after Jackson, “That was the least suave communication exchange I’ve seen in a while. What’d he really tell you?”

Rush paused, considering. It had been more informational topography than anything. Jackson had revealed two things—that he knew Rush had been meeting with Telford (something he no doubt disapproved of) and, more startlingly, he’d revealed that he’d been in Telford’s office almost immediately after his disappearance. Seemed a fairly dangerous thing to reveal. But he supposed it was an indicator of how serious Jackson’s opposition to Telford ran.

Young was still looking at him.

“He indicated that he understands my preferences, regarding Icarus.” Rush said, his voice so low that Young had to lean forward to catch it. “The other part—was an indication of how far he’s willing to go in opposing it.”

“Did he threaten you?” Young asked very quietly.

“No,” Rush said, feeling the knit of his brow as he realized what Jackson had just done. “Quite the opposite in fact. He’s threatening himself.”

“How?” Young asked.

Rush remained quiet.

“Where did you really leave your glasses?” Young asked finally. “Where was Jackson eight hours ago?”

“Congratulations. You’ve identified the relevant question,” Rush replied neutrally.

Young looked at him, nodded once.

“Everett,” Mitchell called, twisting around on the couch. “You coming, or what?”

“Yeah,” Young said. “I’m coming.”

LIKE. THIS IS EXTENSIVE – and also wild because? The amount of TRUST that Rush is showing in Young here – actually telling him things? Albeit not everything but SO MUCH in comparison to the original? I was blown away a little bit. But, with all those tiny little rewrites, it makes a lot of sense. And it suggests that Rush sees Young as a more neutral ground, someone safe to go to with all the other political nonsense between Telford and Jackson that seems to be centred around him. Which just makes all those moments when Rush is relieved to see Young in the later chapters hit even harder, and it’s just…it’s really nice, y’know? I don’t really have much to say other than I love it a lot and I love these two a lot. They’re doing so good in this verse! Relatively, anyway. And obviously this is going to just make the rest of the development of their relationship even more interesting – especially with Rush having no memories by those last few chapters.

Telford and Rush

Ok so – we’re part way through Chapter 41. Telford and Rush are in the infirmary, with Lam nearby. We’re on the edge of our seat, because we all freaking KNOW that Telford is working with the Lucian Alliance, and at any point he’s going to take the opportunity to kidnap Rush…and it’s here that cwr made some very interesting changes.

Consider, if you will, these excerpts:

Original

“I’ll stay,” Telford said. “Vala’s still missing.”

“There’s nothing you can do about that,” Lam said, with all the professional brusqueness of the curative scalpel.

“You think I don’t know that?” Telford shot back.

“Stay if you’d like,” Lam said, unflappable, but for a marginal, backwards click of one heel.

“Sorry,” Telford said. “Sorry.”

Lam gave him a one-shouldered shrug and turned to Rush.

Rush looked at her expectantly.

“I was planning on releasing you,” Lam began, an unmistakable note of contingency in her voice.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Rush snapped.

Lam raised a single, unimpressed eyebrow.

“I was given to understand,” Rush said, with marginal but perceptible control, “that ‘release’ was all but assured, and it also meant leaving the base.”

“And it will,” Lam said, her hands out, palms exposed. Telford looked at him with an uncertain expression. It occurred to Rush that he’d gotten to his feet. He sat back down. On his fucking gurney. The extent to and frequency with which Young intervened on his behalf and the considerable weight behind his influence hit Rush with an unwelcome mental moment of inertia.

Rewrite

“You think I don’t know that?” Telford shot back at her, raw and edged.

Rush flinched.

“Stay if you’d like,” Lam said, unflappable, but for a marginal, backwards click of one heel.

“Sorry,” Telford said. “Sorry guys. Long time in isolation.”

Lam gave him a one-shouldered shrug and turned to Rush. “I was planning on releasing you,” she began, an unmistakable note of contingency in her voice.

Rush sighed, looked away, hooked a hand over his shoulder, and tried to work some of the tension out of his neck. It didn’t go well. That wasn’t surprising. It didn’t usually go well.

The extent to and frequency with which Young intervened on his behalf and the considerable weight behind his influence hit Rush with an unwelcome mental moment of inertia. He wasn’t getting out of here. Not without Young. Not without Jackson. Not without someone willing to shoulder the responsibility of facing down the bloody Lucian Alliance.

His personal freedom hung by the thinnest of threads.

“Nick, you okay?”

The rewrite paints a distinctly different picture here. Rather than Rush coming over as argumentative and desperate, he comes over as exhausted, which is complimented very nicely by his realisation about how little control he has over his situation. Which is so interesting, because it changes the set up of what happens later in this chapter – Rush leaving the base with Telford, even though multiple people told him explicitly to stay where he was. It suggests that Rush’s decision to leave with Telford was just as much about him regaining some control over his own situation, as much as anything else – which, to be fair, was the sense of it in the original too. But it hits different now. It’s less about Rush being contrary and rash, and much more about him being at the end of his rope. And also, notice the slight change in Telford’s dialogue too – his addition sorry, and ‘long time in isolation’. It feels a lot more like Telford is desperately trying to appear normal and reasonable…which makes sense, given they way he’s trying to prove that he’s NOT actually a Lucian Alliance mole. But then, we continue – exactly from where we left off in both versions:

Original

“Give him one of the VIP rooms,” Telford said, with a calculated indolence for which Rush was fiercely grateful, “and be done with it.”

Lam looked at Telford. Lam looked at Telford in way that was qualitatively different from the way she looked at Young. Or at Carter. Or at Mitchell. “I understand that you’re anxious to get out of here,” Lam said, turning her gaze back toward Rush. “But I need you to understand that I’m under certain institutional and ethical pressures as well. I can’t release you. But I can, perhaps, arrange for you to move freely about the base, and spend the night in one of the VIP rooms. Does that sound like a reasonable compromise?”

“Yes,” he said, with all of the rational affect that he could bring to bear.

Rewrite

“Nick, you okay?”

Rush looked up to find Telford and Lam looking at him with sympathy and concern, respectively.

“There’s gotta be something you can do,” Telford said, looking at Lam. “Come on. The guy hasn’t seen a window in—how many days?”

“No idea, actually,” Rush muttered.

“See?” Telford said, gesturing dramatically toward Rush. “That’s my point.”

Lam looked at Rush appraisingly. “I understand that you’re anxious to get out of here,” she said, “But I’m under certain institutional and ethical pressures. I can’t just—let you go.”

Rush nodded.

“So,” Lam continued, her tone lightening. “No windows. Sorry. But I can arrange for you to move freely about the base, and spend the night in one of the VIP rooms. Does that sound like a reasonable compromise?”

“Yes,” Rush said, trying to keep his expression neutral. Behind Lam, Telford gave a subtle fist pump.

Whilst the end result is the same, the way that they get to that conclusion is SO different. Telford is clearly being so much more careful. He leads Lam to make the call to put Rush in a VIP room, rather than telling her explicitly to do it. Is this to make it seem like Telford is being more careful? Doing a better job of hiding his true allegiance? It seems like he’s bargaining more effectively here – suggesting Rush should be allowed to the surface level, when he knows that’s not going to fly, and then ending up with Lam settling for something else instead – something that will enable him to get Rush on his own – which he can visibly approve of and seem to be on Lam and Rush’s side. Whereas, in the original, he seems much more like he’s outright stating what he wants to happen, and then when Lam concedes, it’s…well, it’s not so tactical on Telford’s part. He basically played his cards, openly stating what he wanted to happen. Whereas in the new version, it’s much more subtle – and it really shows you how good a double agent he is, and how he’s managed to mostly fly under the radar and garner people’s trust so far.

I’ve not got much more to say about this segment, other than to point out a change that I noticed in one of my favourite parts in Chapter 50 (aka, allusion to Ad Noctum, my beloved).

Original

Occasionally, when he’d felt the dark edge of humor that came at the absolute nadir of hope, Young pictured them together—Rush and Telford—in matching, darkened leather. Perhaps they’d be part of the handful of survivors that escaped whatever cultural implosion the Ori were bent on bringing to their galaxy in the name of yet another false god. Perhaps they’d be out there, opening doors and burning shit down.

Rewrite

Occasionally, when he’d felt the dark edge of humor that came at the absolute nadir of hope, Young pictured them together—Rush and Telford—in matching, darkened leather. Perhaps Telford had some larger plan. Perhaps he’d let Rush in on it, and Rush had defected. Perhaps they’d be part of the handful of survivors that escaped whatever cultural implosion the Ori were bent on bringing to their galaxy in the name of yet another false god. Perhaps they’d be out there, opening doors and burning shit down. Literally.

It's such a little change but it’s so much because – maybe Telford had a larger plan? Young considering that Rush chose to defect? Guh I don’t even know what to say but I can’t stop thinking about it. Especially the idea of Rush choosing to defect. I’ve been thinking a lot about Telford in this fic, especially all those moments when he talks about the Lucian Alliance and their ‘coercive persuasion’ tactics. The way he wonders if people who were brainwashed by them even know – because, then, the question is, does Telford know? Is he even brainwashed, or is he a true defector? Canon seems to heavily suggest that he was brainwashed, but it’s never actually confirmed. But either way…if Telford has been given the LA drug, does he know? Does he suspect that he has, and wonders if he defected to them by choice or by coercion? Is he nervous waiting for those results back from Lam about whether he’s clear of the drug or not because he’s worried that he's going to get found out and his cover will be blown, or because he’s scared that he’s going to discover that his choices aren’t actually his own? That he’s been under their influence all along? And so then having Young here, considering Rush choosing to defect – and considering Telford choosing to defect, by proxy (and also I think it’s explicitly stated elsewhere in the chapter, but this thing is already too long haha) – really adds nicely to this thought experiment that cwr is building about the nature of the Lucian Alliance brainwashing.

“Did they give you the drug?” Young asks, his eyes on his sensors.

“I don’t think they did,” Telford says, his eyes half shut, his hands dark with his own blood. “But then, how would I know?”

It’s just so interesting to me and I can’t wait to see if cwr is going to expand on this further.

On a concluding note, though, just the fact that we’re going to get NEW CHAPTERS of Math in the foreseeable future – possibly the next time cwr updates, if they chose to post ten chapters again (which I like to think that they will, because last time it was nine chapters for nine chevrons, plus the tenth chapter coming in at the end to surprise us all like that tenth cypher – or maybe I’m overthinking this HAHA) is just SO INSANELY EXCITING. I read this fic for the first time back in 2016, and it was deleted not that long afterwards. I genuinely never thought it would ever come back and be finished. I had the strangest experience of almost…mourning the story, knowing that we’d never get answers but learning to accept that and enjoy it for the absolutely glorious 50+ chapters that we got. So, the fact that, six years later, we’re this close to new chapters of Math? I mean, if you’ve read this far, you must love this fic at least as much as I do, so you probably already understand where I’m coming from. It’s just incredible. I’m just so delighted by this entire thing, and so happy that this story is going to continue – but in a way that works for cwr, since whatever happened before that made them delete everything was clearly not doing them any good. (I have no idea what happened, but they’re valid – I’m just extremely happy to see them back, in a way that’s working better for them).

Oh, but on one final note –

How old was Rush when his brother died?

THIS IS JUST A SILLY LITTLE THING BUT LIKE I’m a little bit desperate to know what the hell happened with Rush and Alexander – although, I can certainly guess based on the scraps of information we have. But there is a little continuity thing that’s been driving me crazy since the very first time I read these fics. In FoD, near the end, Young goes to visit Alexander’s grave. Based on the date on the gravestone, and his knowledge from Rush via…well, everything that happens in FoD, he comments that Rush had been thirteen years old when he’d nearly drowned and Alexander had died. But then, when Rush looks at his medical records in Math…I did the maths (haha) twice – and the dates are exactly the same in both the original and the rewrite, and they say that Rush was only nine when he nearly drowned. So then, the question is – did cwr get the dates muddled up? (as someone writing a mega au with lots of backstory dates, I understand how easy this is to do…I once had a major event that happens when the characters are fifteen actually happen when they’re…thirteen. Had to very quickly change some years hahah). OR....is this an intentional discrepancy? Is this suggesting that more things happened different in the Math d-brane compared to the FoD d-brane? After all, we know that the prologue Circuit happens in the same way, but around that things appear to be very different – such as Telford not taking Rush to Anubis’ lab (meaning, maybe, was Rush with Gloria when she died in this verse?) and Young going to rescue Telford from the LA and ending up with his back broken. So maybe the divergence happens much earlier? I don’t know. But I’m enjoying it hugely.

If you read THIS WHOLE THING, congrats on being a nerd, and also extremely cool. I tip my hat to you. And, cleanwhiteroom, if you found this and read it all – first of all, hi; second of all, I’m so sorry this is so weird but I love your stories a lot, please forgive me for -gestures vaguely to this post- all of this; third, genuinely thank you, because I think you’re indirectly and directly to blame for about 90% of the things that I’ve written since 2016, and I literally would not be the writer I am today if it wasn’t for you and your incredible stories. I cannot express how glad I am that this is the universe in which you decided to write these stories and share them not once, but twice. Unrelated, I’m going to go hide in a hole now.

#cleanwhiteroom #cwr #sgu #stargate universe #plus you and me?#mathématique #force over distance #nicholas rush #everett young #daniel jackson #david telford #how do i tag meta about a fanfic lol #taka writes meta #all my dw followers DON'T PANIC #I'm not shifting fandoms this is just like #a major event for me AHAHA #i mean imagine if one of YOUR favourite fanfics ever got deleted for six years and then SUDDENLY RETURNED #you might also write a 9k essay comparing the differences between the original and the updated version #because you totally ripped the original off ao3 before it got taken down #enabling easy comparison #or maybe not #maybe that's just me #shout out to maddy who helped me out by legit coding a programme to compare the two files HAHA #it was nice to see it explicitly highlighted #rather than just my gremlin brain pinging me when something went differently #ok it's out of my system now #back to writing my own fanfics-

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