#For some reason I have diddly dandy fixed as a happy expression. have I ever heard it irl? I don't recall. but the vibe fits well :D

[sochawrites]

in that case, would it be alright to ask for headcanons of rimmer with a male significant other who loves listening to his weird tangents and treating him gently and with kindness?

Sure, it would be alright^^

I wanted to finish it a few days ago, but my roommate arrived at our dorms, which obliterated my chances of staying up late... And sorry it took so long!

Anyways, I hope you'll find it to your liking 🫡

A war within

Arnold Rimmer x Male!reader

big thanks should go to my favourite gal✨ @zamppera, for giving me ideas and making this process a lot funnier than it usually is!

There might have been a meaningful conversation the first time around, a simple question evolving into a monstrous monologue about Ivan the Terrible and his sexual rituals

Rimmer had expected you to join Lister and run away from his rambling, yet, you were still there, listening, jolly-eyed, your chin rested up in your palm, a concentrated look on your face

He stuttered when he noticed, and his face got red with a mix of anger, at himself as he was under the impression he humiliated himself, and with embarrassment itself, and completely stopped with his storytelling

"Hey, why'd you stop? It was getting interesting."

He blinked at you a few times before he came up with an answer, "T-The... The boiler room! The boiler room isn't going to clean itself!" 

And with that, he stormed out of the room

Yet the boiler room was not, in fact, cleaned that day

He thought that was it, that you were not going to listen to his stories ever again

It would probably be for the better, you wouldn't get bored by him so soon at least

But that wasn't the case

Whenever he was talking, you seemed to be there, paying attention, hanging on his every word, even encouraging him to continue some of the thoughts Lister had cut short

Whatever it may be that he is talking about at the moment – you are there, and you are listening to him, actually listening!

He doesn't get it

He's genuinely flabbergasted, bamboozled, and for the longest time he just assumes you're there just to have something to laugh at with Lister behind his back

You're going to spend a lot of time assuring him that that's not the case

If he ever brings it up, that is

He feels funky whenever you look at him, or talk to him, butterflies in his stomach kind of funky

The same funky when his mother acknowledged his existence

He always thought he would get used to it, used to you and your presence, especially after you got closer, after you became a pair

But he never did

Whenever you were around, you made him mushy, soft and warm

He didn't know whether he hated it, or loved it, fighting a battle within himself

But that wasn't the only battle raging inside him

The constant doubting of his emotions, his decisions, his intellect...

Sometimes it got too strong to hide

"Arn? Is everything alright?"

"Yes! Yes, everything's dandy, diddly dandy to be exact. Oh, look, a loose screw, I should go and find a-"

"Nothing's alright when you say dandy, and diddly is making it even worse. Come on starlight, don't hide from me."

He would much rather just vanish from the room or existence, rather than try to explain what he was feeling

And you knew

That's exactly why you closed the distance between your bodies and trapped his face in your hands

"Arn, please, don't shut yourself in."

He avoided your gaze like fire, yet the hurt behind his eyes was painfully obvious

The fact that his face was as red as the Dwarfs coating was not easing Rimmer at all

Yeah, it will take a lot longer to get used to you and to his emotions

Out of all the people in his life, you're the only one who has ever got him to open up to a such extent

He appreciated that you were there for him, that he had someone to turn to, someone who didn't make fun of him the moment he opened his mouth

A rarity abort the Red Dwarf

Just as rare as Arnold being proud, this time of the fact he could call you his boyfriend