#Flashback: Impregnable Defenses

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Forspoken Photo Dump 206: Junoon; The Blossomwoods, Part 3

[daleisgreat]

Hell Comes to Frogtown, Grunt: The Wrestling Movie, I Like to Hurt People

It has been a spell since I logged an ‘intentionally bad gifted movie’ entry. For newer readers here, my buddy Matt and I have a long tradition of gifting each other bad movies for Christmas and birthdays, and it least gives me something to rag on here about. Past entries here meeting this bad gift criteria consist of my coverage for Bounty Hunters, Hercules: Reborn and The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2. We have eased up on it this past year or two, but I still have a few sitting in the backlog box and will be covering a video today that is a three-for-one on a disc special titled ‘Wrestling Superstars Triple Feature’. Now we all may be familiar with WWE pushing wrestlers in its movie division going back 16 years, but wrestlers have been in bad straight-to-video films long before that and this disc features 1988’s Hell Comes to Frogtown (trailer), 1985’s I Like to Hurt People (trailer), and 1985’s Grunt: The Wrestling Movie (trailer). I originally watched Hell Comes to Frogtown with Matt on one of our ritual bad movie nights several years ago. It stars Roddy Piper as Sam Hell, fresh off his success in John Carpenter’s They Live. This is a cracked out post-apocalyptic movie where nuclear fallout radiation makes Hell one of the last few non-sterile males. The government discovers him and makes him a deal against his will to contract him to…..traverse the nuclear wastes and impregnate as many women as possible in order to restore the dwindling human population….seriously. The movie tries to not make Hell come off as a creepy serial rapist by having Piper deliver some meek attempts at sympathy and breaking prisoners out of a gang’s Road Warrior-esque facility. This is ridiculously bad, but in a 80s campy-fun sort of way so if you are into so-bad-they-are-good movies, especially two brew-skis in, then Hell Comes to Frogtown will not disappoint.

I Like to Hurt People is a unique beast. It barely comes off as a motion picture and feels more like something I would make if I was a young proactive filmmaker in my teens and decided to make a movie about wrestling and had no idea about assembling a cohesive plot whatsoever. That is essentially I Like to Hurt People which shows several condensed matches interspersed with backstage interviews, TV production staff losing it while trying to keep the wrestlers in check and fans being interviewed outside the ring who are all hyped up for a night at the wrasslin’ matches. I love the geriatric 80s rock soundtrack that plays nearly nonstop throughout the film that brought back fond memories of Miami Connection’s mesmerizing score. 80s NWA/Crockett fans will get a thrill with the nonstop cameos featuring stars like Terry Funk, Dusty Rhodes, The Sheik, Dick the Bruiser, Abdullah the Butcher and Andre the Giant. A controversial non-finish in the main event between Dick the Bruiser and The Sheik is followed up with an interview in the car with Sheik and his manager the Grand Wizard, where Wizard promises revenge in a cage match....and then I Like to Hurt People promptly ends. Again, this does not feel like a complete movie and is difficult to properly judge as a whole, but that aside it was fun to take in and get a dose of the fervor of southern mid-80s wrestling fandom that I Like to Hurt People encapsulates to a T.

While I Like to Hurt People feels like what my first wrestling movie would be like with barely any filmmaking under my belt, Grunt: The Wrestling Movie feels like what my third or fourth wrestling-adjacent film would be like if I got full of myself and would conjure up a silly Disaster Artist-esque plot over a weekend I thought would be a masterpiece, but instead was nonstop bonkers. There is a crazy 1979 flashback backstory in the opening minutes explaining why controversial wrestler ‘Mad Dog Joe’ was thought to have committed suicide after decapitating an opponent in a title defense. Fast forward six years later when the promotion’s management finally decide to vacate Joe’s title and hold a battle royal to crown a new champion. The film then follows a documentary crew who are obsessed that Joe is still alive and will return at the battle royal. Lots of shenanigans ensue as the documentary crew interviews multiple people who harass them and turn them away, with a standout scene transpiring at a hot-button, public access political talk show. Eventually everything culminates at the battle royal, but nothing can save this train wreck. Grunt: The Wrestling Movie takes itself way too seriously, and is not even campy-cheesy-bad, but instead the undesirable straight-up-bad. Avoid this one in the DVD bargain bin at all costs. As a whole, Wrestling Superstars Triple Feature is a semi-decent package, which is glowing praise when compared to this DVD’s cover art! Hell Comes to Frogtown is prime cheesy bad movie night material and I Like to Hurt People is something I would throw in to have on in the background with fellow wrestling fans. Grunt is a complete waste, but as the old adage goes, two out of three isn’t bad! Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Not for Resale Pulp Fiction The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[beautyinthebelfry]

Prozac increase two months ago made me a bit manic. I couldn’t make decisions and I made impulsive decisions like taking LSD and smoking weed which I haven’t done in about 2-3 years but it was the most intense trip of my life and now I’m in symptoms: voices messages hallucinations and flashbacks. I’m right on the edge. I also have Lyme disease and my doctor said I was manic and prescribed me lithium which I decided not to take I’ll just break open the thermometer and drink the mercury just kidding I got a lot of creative work done at least The universe said I am the descendant of Baba Yaga and Jesus Christ she was impregnated like god impregnated Mary, mother of all gods the walls are quiet so I am afraid and I am fear. I am continuously on the offensive and defensive and this duality is driving me crazy. I am lost but I have no fear and always keep an anchor in the positivity

[bestbonnist]

I've thought about this A LOT, and I've come to the conclusion that it's not likely that Kahaku fucked. Here's why:

Hayase's other successors have all been introduced to Fushi as preteens around the Nameless Boy's age before they give birth. If they fail to seduce them, fine, then the creepy shadow men from Kahaku's flashback choose someone to impregnate them and then the successor will be killed before her granddaughter is born to pass on Hayase's faie, if she survives until then. The successors have no choice in the matter. They're heavily monitored by the Defense Corps., so there's no chance that they would be able to go out and choose who to fuck (or to not fuck anyone).

Since the shadow men wanted to move on to another female successor instead of Kahaku as soon as possible, it would make sense if they also picked someone for Kahaku to fuck as soon as possible. But if he had a wife/designated person who would bear his child that's definitely something he would mention to Fushi upon meeting, just to make it even clearer that he's heterosexual.

But there have probably been instances of male children being born to Hayase's direct descendants and then starting other branches of her family, which is probably where the shadow men came from. And those men, although probably initially intended as backups, became the true heads of the family and Defense Corps. with Hayase's direct descendants acting reduced to mere puppets. But they probably still had someone who could give birth to another one of Hayase's reincarnations just in case.

i’m still confused over kahaku’s my family will carry on my will part since kahaku was the only male child from that generation and presumably the only child iirc? did kahaku impregnate someone before joining fushi?

the hayase family requirements are to (1) train to protect fushi (2) get pregnant (or get someone pregnant?) as soon as possible (and now that i think of it could that be why the mothers typically die young, because of childbirth complications?) (3) find and try to get immortal dick.

hisame doesn’t answer fushi’s question about who her father is. are the fathers random men (does she actually know who her father is?) because if it was a long term relationship i assume they wouldn’t want their wives / mothers of their children dedicating their lives to another man. and kahaku asks parona-fushi to be his wife.

this is actually interesting to me, we don’t really know much about the inner family workings yet. their family is fundamentally structured around fushi.

[sorayahigashikata]

Chapter 71: "She's got a wonderful defense mechanism. You don't dare kill her."

[iusfelis-blog]

Flashback (an embarrassed and/or a scared memory)

Send ‘Flashback’to see one of my muse’s old memories

    “MOMMA!”

Soft feet scurried against a too-posh rug. She was trying to run out of the room, away from the large monster that had broken in and was likely trying to kill her. It didn’t say anything as it entered, didn’t even seem to have any trouble with the security system…

‘The Penthouse is suppoed to be impregnable. That word means-’ She knew what impregnable meant. Unable to be breached, unable to be ruptured or PREGNATED by anything or anyone without the proper security clearance. 

    But there he was… Dripping in onyx, bloodied and broken, out of breath and lumbering toward the girl who’d fallen and begean trying to… to will herself out of existence by pressing into a corner. “Momma! Momma! MOMMA, HELP!” Where was she? Why hadn’t she- Did he already get to her? Was she dead?

The idea made her short breathing even shorter. Panic was a lot fiercer than logic, she couldn’t think to run away, couldn’t think to grab one of the MANY tools of self-defense and protection littered around the penthouse… She was just a girl, staring into the mangled face of the demon who’s all but killed her mother and ruined her existence.

  She didn’t want to close her eyes, didn’t want to hide herself that way, but with each approaching footstep she couldn’t’- she couldn’t not retreat into herself. The abyss was preferable, far preferable, to looking into his eyes as he-

    “Cleopatra?!” MOM?! The sound of a bullwhip tearing through air opened her eyes immediately. She’d caught the beast at his wrist, yanked him to the floor and dragged him out of Cleo’s room. The girl sat there, shivering and immeasurably concerned until the sound of a couch being stressed and a face being slapped wafted through her open door frame. 

  She… She …

    “It’s okay, honey. I took care of him, you don’t have to be scared.�� She’d taken care of him? Who was he? Why did he come here? How did he get in? She had so many questions, so much to ask but- but Selina didn’t stay long in Cleo’s room. Once she made sure the girl wasn’t crying any more (sobbing softly didn’t count) she was gone. Door locked, off to take care of the attacker… or- or the vandal, whomever- whatever he was.

    “Cleopatra!” The young woman stepped out of her room, the next morning, still- still afraid of the world outside her broken window, to see her mother posturing with a few suitcases and an old man… “Cleopatra, you remember Mister Pennyworth, don’t you? He’s going to take us on a ride to the ‘stush’ side of Gotham. Get dressed, there’s someone there that needs to speak with you.”

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