#Fidds and Stan Have Pretty Much Forgotten That Humans Don't Eat Raw Meat

[stupidvillainousposts]

Dinner in the Werewolf Gene AU Household be Like

Stan: *Walks Into the Shack on All Fours and Dragging a Dead Deer in with His Teeth*

Fidds: Oh! Kids! Dinner's here! We got venison tonight!

Mabel, running downstairs at near Mach speed: Yay! Venison!

Dipper: Do you even know what venison is?

Mabel: Some type of green cow, right?

Fidds, giggling: It's a li'l more wild than a cow, sug'. Say, why don't ya go get Ford up fer supper?

Mabel: Okay! *Runs Off to Get Ford*

Dipper: So, what, did Stan just go out and kill a deer?

Stan, plopping the deer onto the table with a proud grin: Ya better believe it! This stag put up a good fight, I'll give him that. Gave me a new chest wound! *Lifts His Shirt to Show the Giant Gash*

Fidds: *Sighs* I'll clean ya up.

Stan: Ah, after dinner. This is our first whole family meal! I want everyone to be ready to eat together!

Fidds: Alright, whatever makes ya happy, my Darlin' Genius.

Mabel: *Squeals with Glee at the Nickname*

Ford, rushing into the kitchen: WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHO'S GETTING ATTACKED AND BY WHAT?!?!?

Stan: Nothing, no one, and nothing. Geeze, Pointdexter! It's just dinner!

Ford: But Mabel- Is that a dead deer on the dinner tabel?

Stan: Yup! Rare and ready to eat!

Mabel: I call back legs!

Dipper: I call ribs!

Mabel: Wait, I changed my mind! I want ribs too!

Dipper: No! You have to take what you call! That's the rules!

Mabel: But the ribs taste better!

Stan: Eh, I'd say backstrap is best, but that's personal preference.

Dipper and Mabel: *Silently Contemplate Before Arguing Over Who Gets What*

Fidds, smirking: *Quietly, to Stan* Better get yer pickin's b'fore the pups eat everything.

Stan, smirking back: It's fine, Honey Bunches. I horked down a few gnomes while I was looking for the deer. I'll be alright. *To Ford* What about you, Pointdexter? What piece are you looking for?

Ford, pale as a ghost: I think I'm just gonna forego dinner tonight... and anything else that isn't takeout.