#Felt Silly and Felt like Drawing Her (Clara/Eleanor)

[namedoggo]

Anyway

[earisu1]

“Once Upon a Time” in Jennifer’s Own Words

Original date of the post: 12 of October, 2007.

Disclaimer: this ideas and theories do not belong to me but to PokerNemesis, if the owner wants me to take them down I will.

“This is the complete collection what Jennifer herself says (excluding what is written in documents) in the “Once Upon a Time” (January) chapter of Rule of Rose.

This collection includes five of Jennifer’s memories/comments that were omitted in the GameFAQs game-script faq written by TheSinnerChrono.  I marked these with “####” to make them easier to find (for readers only interested in these).

This post does not contain commentaries by me (unless some of my descriptive comments count as being commentary).

If anyone finds anything I missed, or any mistakes I’ve made, please let me know in the comments.  Thanks!

Filth Room:

–At the shelf:

“This letter looks familiar…  Yes. it’s one of the secret letters that Wendy and I traded.” (reads letters)  “Wendy…  You were always so lonely.  Poor, lonely Wendy…  I wonder if my letters ever reached her.”

–At the central pillar:

“Tied to this pillar, unable to move, I was all alone.  It took a while, but I finally freed myself.  I was always the slow poke…  But, that won’t happen again.  I’ll never let myself be tied up again.”

–At the suitcase:

“When I came here, this suitcase was the only luggage I had…  I lost everything in the accident.  My mother, my father, all my possessions, and even my memories.”

–At the sunny window:

“I spent so much time in this room…  Who knows how many times I woke up here?  The nights were lonely and cold, but you’d always greet me in the morning… Only you greeted me warmly.  Thank you so.

–At the rubbish bin:

“It’s the detested rubbish bin.  No one ever suspected that something precious was hidden inside it.  Nor did they know that it was the only place where I could keep my things safe.”

–At the empty corner (where Bucket Knight had been):

“It feels as if something very dear to me was here.  Someone or something that always looked after me… helped me.”

Hallway:

–At the laundry shelves:

“Everyone would put their dirty laundry here, and it was my job to wash it.  How ironic… The one they called “filthy” washing their filthy clothes.  It all seems so silly now.”

2nd Floor Lavatory:

–At the toilet that has an eye drawn on the toilet lid:

“‘We’re watching you.’  That’s what the picture meant.  But it was still scary.”

–At Bucket Knight (by the sinks and mirrors):

“Bucket Knight…  A makeshift knight that Nicholas and Xavier used for sword practice.  Though they may have forgotten about it, I’ve always remembered.  For, I yearned for a loyal knight to come to my rescue.

Hallway (Front Stairway balcony):

–At the empty picture frame:

“There used to be a picture here, of everyone at the orphanage.  It was a picture filled with hope, taken the day I was brought here.  I was afraid someone would try to steal this precious memory from me…so I took the picture down and kept it safe.”

Sick Bay:

–At the drawers (these look like the same drawers as had the forbidden drawer in the “Unlucky Clover Field” chapter):

“Clara was a quiet person.  To me, she looked like just another student at the orphanage…except when she spoke to Mr. Hoffman or Martha.  Then, she looked scary.  I wonder if I’ll be like Clara when I’m older…  Will I enjoy those days?”

Sickroom:

–At the rabbit cage:

“Peter the rabbit… He was the pet that Wendy suddenly decided to take care of.  It was the same time I started looking after Brown…  I wonder if Wendy really loved Peter…  Was she sad when she had to give him up?”

–At the lamp:

“This letter looks familiar.  Yes it’s one of the secret letters that Wendy and I traded. ”  (reads letters)

Balcony:

–At the birdcage:

“The red bird in the cage… The doll Eleanor treasured.  ‘If only we could fly like birds and go wherever we wished,’ she whispered softly.  Yet, no matter how much Eleanor wished, she’ll never be able to just fly away from this orphanage.  Poor Eleanor…  She was burdened by her own frozen heart.”

Play Area:

–By the chair and train-track circle:

“Thomas was always playing with his trains…They were his only friends.  There were no final stops on his railroad, for that would be devastating to him.  It’s rumored that this obsession had something to do with his birth, but Thomas never spoke about it with anyone.”

####By the blocks:

“No one really played with the toys here because they were all old.  Only Thomas was the master of this room.  ‘A new girl, a new girl!’ he exclaimed when we first met.  He seemed to enjoy teasing me.

Library:

–By the white goat doll:

“It’s a stuffed goat… The white goat Mary.  The black goat Sally.  When Meg found her letter to Diana torn apart, she was deeply wounded and cried in Diana’s arms, even though she was the one that ripped it up…  And, when Meg’s notebook was found all scattered about, Diana made fun of her, saying, ‘Mary and Sally must’ve ate it.’  Poor Meg…  She was bound by the shackles of foolish devotion.”

–By the painting of the airship:

“The future that people dreamt of never came and was soon forgotten.  From the blue skies of hope, it sank into the depths of oblivion.  The new life born from it was an existence devoid of hope.  It slowly wriggles its large body and stares at the sky with a remorseful look… That’s its only purpose.”

Sewing Room:

–At the sewing machine:

“Amanda was fond of using the sewing machine.  When she got absorbed in something, she’d think of nothing else, especially sewing, which was always on her mind.  If we ran out of cloth or thread, she’d just sew rags with an empty needle over and over again…  And then she’d smile at the tattered rag with satisfaction.”

Hallway (2nd floor):

–At the graffiti on the floor near the Sewing Room door:

“There are doodles everywhere.  No matter how many we cleaned, more would show up the next day.”

Dormitory:

–At one of the two central tables:

“The night was quiet dark and scary.  Yet it was a mysterious time that aroused excitement.  Some nights, we’d stay awake in secret, hiding from the teacher, and draw pictures by lamplight.  It made us feel very much like adults–something not possible during the day.”

–At the other central table:

“A mermaid doll… What a proud and pure creature.  Diana yearned to become a beautiful lady, like a mermaid, but as she grew older, she realized that she was straying further and further from her ideal self.  Poor Diana…  She was trapped by her own ideals.”

Front Stairway:

####At the ladder:

“That day when Thomas couldn’t get down from the tree, the ladder, which had been collecting dust, sure came in handy.  Back then, Mr. Hoffman was a kind and admirable teacher.”

Main Hall (first floor):

–At the vase of flowers:

“There used to be beautiful roses here, picked by Wendy from the rose garden.  …But, as with all things, they wilted away with the passage of time.”

–At the potted fern:

“Miss Martha used to scold Nicholas for forgetting to water the plants, and then she’d turn her wrath on me, snapping, ‘What are you laughing at, young lady!?’”

Hallway near Classroom door:

–At a bucket-headed construct:

“A silent scarecrow… It stands there quietly, not meddling in the affairs of others.  It sways in the breeze, like me…a cowardly girl who was unable to assert her true feelings.”

Men’s Lavatory:

####At the blocked-off toilet stall:

“Once, Susan started a rumor about voices coming from this room at night…  It turned out it was only the door creaking in the wind, but one night, sounds came from the room even with the windows shut.  Susan jumped out of her bed and screamed.  It was really just a prank by Nicholas and Xavier.  From then on, the room was believed to be haunted and was considered off limits.”

Classroom:

–At the blackboard (which has written on it:  “Hitlerism is a form of government controlled by one man’s will / Democracy is a form of government controlled / Hitlerism is a form of government controlled by one man’s will”):

“I learned many things at this orphanage…The alphabet… words… how to clean and do laundry… But the most important thing I learned… was the lesson I received in exchange for my dear friend’s life… I finally came to understand myself.  My beliefs and the will to stand up for them… I don’t want to lose those ever again.”

–At the drawings on the wall (a map of Great Britain):

“The map of this country…  That day we flew from England… Those memories were buried deep inside of me…  The airship…and the accident…  Thereafter, the story of my life became a tale of misfortune.  Even when the others played ‘airship’ I couldn’t bear to join them, so I was left out.”

–At the schedule of classes on the wall:

“A brat, a know-it-all, an introvert, a crybaby, and an elitist… I know misfortune, because I tolerated them all.  I thought I was the only grown up, but we were all just kids, myself included.  But what does it really mean to be a grown-up?  Will I ever become one?”

–At the furnace:

“On cold winter days, we all used to gather here and talk… I, of course, couldn’t join in, so I sat off to the side.  Even so, it felt so warm.”

Bathroom:

–At the mirror (looking at her own reflection):

“Jennifer, are you happy now, considering how bad it was for you, back then?  …That tragedy you wanted to forget.  Now that you remember everything, how do you feel?  Is the answer inside you?  Think carefully Jennifer.”

Wash house:

–At the sinks:

“I came to this room every day to do laundry…  The water was so cold, and the soap would sting my eyes, but I didn’t hate it, because clean laundry is so refreshing.”

Kitchen:

–At the table:

“If Miss Martha had disappeared, there would’ve been no one to cook…  If Clara had disappeared, there would’ve been no one to tend our wounds…  If Mr. Hoffman had disappeared, there would’ve been no one to teach us.  You can’t live life eating snacks all day, with no exercise or studying.  If you look at it that way, even the Aristocrat club needed adults around… Our world was so small.”

Martha’s room:

–On the bed:

“There are a couple of letters here.  It’s a letter from the police…  “(reads letter) “It’s a letter from Martha…”(reads letter) “The letter ends there…  Perhaps if the matter had been addressed publicly, things wouldn’t have turned out as they did.  Adults are so selfish.”

Cafeteria:

–At a fork on the table:

“Olivia, the one who cried all the time, stopped crying completely when all the adults were gone.  With no teacher to give her attention and no cleaning lady to scold her, there was no point in crying anymore.  …Poor Olivia.”

Inner Court:

–Site of Brown’s burial:

“It all started here, when I dug up the mound…  I sensed that something precious to me was buried here… and I couldn’t stop myself…  The old me… the one who didn’t understand herself… I lost my friend because of her.  If… If I could go back… I’d try to save him… but what has happened can never be undone.  I’ll never break a promise again.”

Cell of Remorse:

(nothing)

Cell of Pleasure:

(nothing) film projector

Cell of Repentance:

(nothing)

Cell of Solitude:

–At the central chair:

“One time, Diana was absorbed in deep thought here.  She was the prettiest, the most mature of the Aristocrats.  She wanted so much to be an adult… and yet she was also afraid of growing up too fast.”

Cell of Bliss:

–At the table:

“The spooky things… The scary creatures that everyone talked about…  They’ll come and clean if you don’t, sweeping bad children away like dust…  Well, they actually came and attacked me… I knew what they really were… but that wasn’t the problem.  The real problem was my weak heart.   My weakness was what drew them here.”

Closet Room:

–At the clothes hangers:

“On Halloween, we all dressed up in costumes…  Everyone else wore bags over their heads, and stared at me through tiny holes…  Their blank faces and muffled voices…  It scared me like you wouldn’t believe…  ‘Is it really you under there?’ I asked, fearing it was something else.  But, no one would answer me.”

–At the mirror:

“Amanda was always more sensitive about her looks than anyone else.  One day she was given a severe scolding by Miss Martha.  That’s because Miss Martha’s lipstick had gone missing.  The lipstick was never found, but I know Amanda took it.  I’ve seen her applying it late at night.”

Hallway (ground floor, connecting Headmaster’s Room and Closet Room):

####At drawing on the floor of a big donut-shaped one-eyed person (near cabinet):

“This sloppy drawing must be Thomas’s.  See what happens when you give him chalk?  The walls, the floors…   To him, it’s one big canvas.”

####At drawing on floor of spooky things (nearest the Headmaster’s Room):

“The spooky things…  They swept away everything that’s dirty, including disobedient children.  It was a scary story that started as a rumor and spread like wildfire.”

####At drawing of spooky things (nearest the Closet Room):

“The spooky things love to clean.  That’s why they always carry mops and brooms.  They’ll kidnap you if you don’t clean.  At least, that’s what everyone says.”

Headmaster’s Room:

–At the PA system:

“Mr. Hoffman loved to broadcast over the PA system… while we were cleaning, while we were eating, and even after we were in bed.  He always announced our names in the order of his favorites.  We’d try our best to win his approval and be the first one to be called.  But he never called my name, not once.  I thought it was all rather silly, anyway.”

–At the desk:

“The book is open… ” (reads Hoffman’s diary entries).  “At the time it seemed so frightening…  Were those scary things that attacked me just figments of my imagination…?” (another entry) “..The diary continues, but the last page is particularly interesting… It’s Mr. Hoffman’s last entry before he disappeared.” (another entry) “…That’s the end of the diary.  We never saw Mr. Hoffman again.”

–At the fish tank (a fish swims inside):

“I know you’re in a very stinky place, because that rag Diana put to my face smelled just awful.  But, no matter how clever or fast you are, there’s no escaping.  You’re like a mermaid in captivity… adapting to a new reality.  Leaving your home behind…did you find happiness?”

Headmaster’s Closet:

–At the shelf that has shoes:

“That day, Mr. Hoffman disappeared, like he was running away from something.  He had tried too hard to be someone he wasn’t.  The expectations were too much for him… and he wanted to escape those restrictions.  However, children and adults live in the same world, and we must both play by society’s rules.”

Reception Room:

–At the record player:

“The record player is brand new.  Playing a record would fill the room with sweet music.”

–At the fireplace:

“It was a cold, winter night… I had been scolded as usual, and called into the headmaster’s room.  I didn’t like being scolded, but I didn’t mind so much when it was in front of the fireplace, which was warm and cozy.”

–At the vase on the central table:

“All of us loved red roses.  Even the name of the orphanage was befitting of an Aristocrat… It wasn’t until I swore the oath of the rose that I learned roses have thorns.”

–At the dish cupboard:

“This is Mr. Hoffman’s prized collection of fine dishes.  We would sometimes sneak them out and play house with them in the attic, but that’s our little secret.”

–At the graffiti covered portrait:

“This is a picture of Mr. Hoffman when he was a young man.  He was so proud when he showed it to us…  He never caught the one who doodled on it though.  But, I know who did it.  I saw Thomas trying to move the ladder on the day it happened.”

Women’s Lavatory:

–Toilet stall with bird drawing:

“Red bird drawings.  A red crayon and… a red broach…  A red rose and… red blood…  Red is the most beautiful color, yet it comes at a price.  It is my most favorite color and my most hated color.”

Entrance-way:

–At the lockers:

“It’s a small locker, but it was just for me.  My name was even on it.  They made me feel welcome.  I was so happy… I’d move my shoes in and out, over and over again.”

–At the umbrella stand:

“We never used umbrellas.  On snowy days, we’d go out for snowball fights.  On rainy days, we’d go out and play in the rain, and get soaking wet.  Every time, Xavier would trip and get himself all muddy and we’d laugh.  It was so much fun.”

–At the portrait of Hoffman:

“One day,  Mr. Hoffman suddenly disappeared.  Clara and Miss Martha soon followed, leaving me and the other orphans alone.”

Front gate:

–At the orphanage sign to the left of the gate:

“The Rose Garden Orphanage…  That day, I was escorted from the scene by Officer Doolittle.  At first, it was reported that there were no survivors…  Then, word got out that, miraculously, I had escaped the tragedy…  When rumor spread that I was also the sole survivor of a horrific airship accident in which the passengers were all presumed to be dead, the media went into a frenzy.  and so, the tragic murder of the residents of a rural orphanage was instantly bumped from the front cover of the daily newspaper to an obscure corner…  I’m sorry everyone.  You don’t deserve to be forgotten…  But I’ll remember you.  Thank you all for the precious memories.”

Fork In The Path:

####At the sign:

“The sign has been broken ever since I came here.  I guess it doesn’t matter:   no one comes to visit anyway.”

Bus Stop:

–At the bus stop sign:

“That bus that brought me here…  Should I try to take it the other way?  …No, that’s not right.  There are still things I have to do here.   Wait for me, Brown.”

Outside the rickety shed:

–At the door:

“Please wait for me.  I’ll be there.”

Inside the rickety shed:

(Spoken to Brown)  “My dear friend… I never want to lose you again.  I’ll protect you…  forever and ever until I die.”  (Writes on chalkboard:  “everlasting/true love/ I am yours”)  “I’ll protect you… forever until I die.”

Notes: some of this reposts are not showing in the tags sadly. Classic Tumblr.