#Felix writez - Binnie <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[gaygodlywriting]

♡ Binnies Boobies ♡

• Pairing - Seo Changbin x Trans!M!Reader (M as in MALE, fem readers DNI)

• Genre - Angst + Fluff

• Warnings - Dysphoria, mention of surgery, scars, slight nudity ig, light swearing, you touch one of Binnies boobs

• Word Count - 1,248

• Writer - Felix

• Summary - After taking a shower, you find yourself staring at the mirror or more specifically, at the scars on your chest. Changbin comes in after not hearing anything from the bathroom in a while, and he finds a way to comfort you through another hit of dysphoria.

• A/N - First fic 💪, also reader is meant to be older then Changbin and taller then him (cause I'm taller and I feel like it fits more idk 😭)

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The knob for the hot water makes that annoying, loud, and squeaky noise it always does when you close the tap, ending the very long shower you had just took. You reach outside of the shower and grab the towel on top of the shelf, stepping out of the shower as you begin to start drying your hair. Probably not the safest idea, but you survived.

After getting your hair a bit more dry so it at least isn't dripping ice cold water down your back, you wrap the towel around your waist and make your way towards the sink, which happened to have a very large mirror right above it. Unfortunately, you and mirrors don't get along very well.

You had never been able to handle mirrors, even when you were a kid. Something always felt... off, whenever you looked in a mirror—or any reflective surface—as if the person you were looking at was a complete stranger. Even now, when you finally discovered who you truly were, you sometimes still felt like you're looking at a stranger. And, of course, when you finally look up and lock eyes with yourself in the mirror, the feeling comes back.

Well, you didn't necessarily lock eyes with yourself. You more so stared at the two scars on your chest from the surgery you had gotten about two years ago—the surgery that removed two certain body parts that were preventing you from being who you truly are. It was supposed to help you feel more comfortable and content in your body. But, so far, that hasn't happened. Not once. In fact, it's done the opposite. It's just made you feel like shit. Especially now, as you stare at the scars, reminded of the fact that you had to get surgery in order to get a flat chest instead of being born in the correct body.

An overwhelming amount of thoughts start to flood your head. Why do I have these scars? Why couldn't I have been born a boy? Why do I have to get surgeries and hormone therapy to be who I'm meant to be? Why am I not a real boy? Why do I have to be this way? Why was I born this way? Why do I deserve this? Why did I get the surgeries? Why do there have to be scars?

You couldn't focus on anything except staring at the scars, and the deafening sound of the thoughts in your head. You never noticed when your boyfriend, Changbin, knocked on the bathroom door before walking into the bathroom. He hadn't heard anything from the bathroom for quite a while, and he was concerned that you had gotten hurt or something. He had been knocking for about two minutes before deciding to go in. When he noticed you just standing there, staring into the mirror, he was confused at first.

"Y/N-hyung?" You give no reaction, as if you didn't hear him. "Hyung?" He tries again, this time walking up to stand next to you. "Hyung, are you okay?"

You don't react when he places his hand on your shoulder, just staring blankly at your chest in the mirror. By the way Changbin gently shakes your shoulder, you take a guess he's going to speak again. You cut him off before he opens his mouth. "Scars..." Your voice comes out just barely above a whisper. Changbin can hardly hear it, but even then, he can hear the slight pain in your voice. "Why do there have to be scars...?"

He immediately knows what you're talking about. It isn't the first time you've gone through this; and it most definitely won't be the last. However, although this isn't the first time Changbin has tried to help you, it's still a rather new thing he's not quite used to yet.

You had warned him, when you and him decided to make your relationship official, that things like this happened a lot with you. You had also said that he doesn't have to try and help you through it, you usually were able to handle it on your own, but he insisted he would be there for you whenever you needed him. Whenever Changbin had even a passing thought that you might be feeling bad about yourself, he always reminded you to please, please tell him so he can be there for you. But, of course, you never did. You always felt like a burden whenever you even attempted to reach out for help, it didn't matter to who it was.

"Hyung," Changbin starts, "come on, don't think like that." He looks around for a moment, as if making sure no one else was around. "Here."

Your eyes widen a bit when you notice your boyfriend beginning to take off his shirt. "Changbin, what the hell are you doing?"

Once he has fully taken off his shirt, he turns towards you a serious expression yet a silly grin on his face. "Look, I have boobs!" Changbin exclaims rather excitedly, tossing his shirt aside and spreading his arms so his chest is on full display. "They're huge too! And guess what?"

You can't help the small grin that makes its way to your face, no matter how hard you had tried to hide it. "What?"

Changbin smiles once again. "I'm still a man! No matter how big or small my boobies are, it doesn't make me any less of a man!"

You couldn't help but burst out laughing when Changbin said 'boobies'. "Oh, my God, Binnie-"

"Your chest is more flat then mine! Here, look," he moves to stand right next to you, lining up so the different sizes of your chests were prominent. "Touch one of my boobs, feel the difference!"

You raise an eyebrow at him. "Seriously?"

He nods. "Yeah! I don't mind!"

You can't help but laugh a bit, grinning at him as you reach a hand out to sort of lightly grip at Changbin's pec. "Okay, yeah, your boobs are huge."

Changbin grins up at you. "Told you. Plus, you have those cool battle scars on your chest! I want cool scars."

Your boyfriend smiles proudly when he hears you laugh rather loudly at his response. When he notices you had calm down just enough so you weren't moving very much, he takes his first opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist and bury his head in your shoulder. You were a bit caught off-guard at first, but soon hugged him back.

"I love you, Y/N, I love you. I'm here for you, whenever you need it, no matter what. Please don't forget it. Please tell me when you feel bad, physically or mentally. I want to help you, no matter what it is. Please let me help you."

It was odd. For the first time in your life, you got the feeling that you could trust him—believe what he said. You've heard the same and similar words said to you by your past boyfriends and past friends, never once have you believed them or trusted them. At least, you never trusted them as quick or as much as you trust Changbin right now, and you never believed them as quickly as you believe him. "Okay... I promise." You can't see it, but you know he's smiling.

After a few more moments of the hugging, you lightly nudge him away. "Alright, could you go back to the bedroom so I can get changed now?"

Changbin smiles. "Of course."