#Fabienne Betting

[lovethewayyoudoso]

One of Rosaires biggest flaws is that he doesn't really understand the concept of doing something good or nice for the sake of it. He's certain everything has a cost, whether it's money, time, effort. Everything has always come at a cost for him afterall. Every relationship petered out because they grew bored of him or they just wanted something (usually monetary or otherwise tangible), or they got bored of what else he had to offer (sex! He was never very affectionate early on, why would he be?). When people got bored of you, they were done with you, that's how everything works.

And not just relationships. You donate to a charity and now they want more. You give them your time in terms of volunteerism and now you need to head up an event. You toss a fiver in a beggars cup and they ask for a ten when you walk by the next time. Let a friend use your private jet and it seems like they've made it their own service now.

You don't live up to expectations and now you're useless, you're never good enough.

On the surface level of this mentality of why Rosaire has become generally selfish, Toshiya has to scratch his head. So, ditch the boyfriends that use you. Tell the charities you're happy to spread the word about their efforts. Buy the beggar a sandwich next time or just have a humanizing chat with him. Set a boundary with your belongings. Didn't doing all these things pay off initially with feeling good? Even the relationships: just because you've had bad luck doesn't mean you should stop trying. Doesn't being nice and kind and helpful and trying your best feel good? These things pay for themselves.

Rosaire doesn't get it. Toshiya doesn't get that he doesn't get it. They come from different worlds in so many ways. "There are people who love you for being you, Rosaire, I promise. You don't think so but I bet if you just look for friends you will find them." Or: "Just do something nice to be nice. Don't look back, don't try to justify, just do something nice or fun or frivolous."

Rosaire ponders the conversation. He mostly thinks about the surface level implications and messages (because the deeper ones... Well, that's something for his therapist). Do something nice just to be nice and see how it makes you feel. The feeling is the reward and if your mind and your heart keep asking for more? Then do more: do another nice thing and another kind thing but don't let yourself feel obligated. Seek out those who appreciate you and your actions and don't dwell on those who abuse it.

He asks Fabienne for the rundown on the mail he's received today. She opens the overwhelming majority of it, filtering out the junk and the scams and whatnot. Legal business and official documents of course go straight to him or the appropriate entity (lawyer, accountant...).

"This one looks like a personal letter, but I don't recognize the name... Do you know an H. Gonzalez in the United States?" Fabienne flipped the rather decorative envelope over before cutting it open.

"No idea." He gave her little attention as he thumbed through the few pieces of mail from the week that actually interested him. A catalogue, a business journal...

The woman laughed as she read the floral decorated card that was inside. It was a noise of sweet amusement and surprise, "Mon dou dou, you've been invited to a wedding."

"Ah...pardon?" Blue eyes looked up over his magazine, one brow quirked.

"Apparently... Mademoiselle Hannah Juanita Gonzalez is marrying her long time girlfriend, Mademoiselle Casey Leigh Smith, in Des Moines," she said the name in a distinctly French way, "Ee-oh-wa? United States."

"Hmm," he tapped his chin, "Never heard of them, or Ee-oh-wa, United States. Isn't Toshiya's sister-in-law a Smith? Isn't that their surname?"

"Maybe they're related?"

"But why would she invite me and not him? Let me see that."

"Is Smith a common name? What are the odds?" Fabienne handed the card over and went back to sorting the mail, though her ears were certainly trained on what Rosaire thought of the card. The man hummed as he read the text himself, checking the back in case he missed something, then grabbed his phone to do a little investigating.

It took a while, but: "I found her on social media and it looks like she's an employee of CMR, a driver." He looked up at his friend with a cheeky grin, "She wants her boss at her wedding?"

"Her boss's boss's boss's boss's boss, maybe. How did she get your address?"

"Why is she inviting me? Maybe this is some kind of... You know, like a stunt or a trend?" Rosaire poured over the card again and had a little laugh. "I've never received anything like this before." He paused to think about the flowers on the cover of the card and the nicely printed details on the RSVP card inside. "Maybe I'll send in toward her charity, for a laugh. It says here 'no gifts, please send a check or digital donation to' some organization. I'll send a little card too!"

"A card to who?" Both Fabienne and Rosaire looked over as Toshiya entered the office, straightening his overshirt and offering a curious smile as he often did.

-

As soon as that RSVP card landed at the return address the bride-to-be blew up her social media circle with the news. It seemed like a joke response, or someone intercepted the letter and replied with a 'yes, plus one, both meals pasta but one must be dairy-free'. A new friend on her social confirmed it was no hoax; the username RosaireRouSo wasn't a spoof account at all. (He ended up posting a selfie with his username, real name, and date and time written on paper and stuck to a current-dated magazine [since he didn't have a newspaper!]) And when an agent on Rosaires behalf contacted the brides to inform them of his security needs and to confirm other details...

Well.

Needless to say the donation to the charity was quite large and it was presented in person. Rosaire's agent had expressed his clients desire to *not* take attention away and that he was adamant to be treated as any other guest. No photos save for private ones with the brides. He was strongly encouraged to attend, just for fun and out of the kindness of his heart, by his boyfriend. Toshiya saw the best in everyone and he knew Rosaire had that kindness in there somewhere. Plus, they got to play dress up! And see a new part of the world! (Where they learned exactly what Des Moines, Iowa was all about... and Rosaire cut another check to a local LGBT group.)

The pair took the brides out for lunch the day before their honeymoon; the women were happy to accept! It was an all-expenses paid meeting with the owner of one of the world's largest logistics companies! (And his precious boyfriend, of course.) The women spoke about their lives and what they envisioned their life together to be, and it made Toshiya's heart melt.

By the time the pair returned to Japan... well, the women had an IOU for a new house, their honeymoon was paid for, and a word was going to be put in with the supervisor for the gal who worked for Rosaire's company.

And by the time the pair went to bed that first night in Japan, Rosaire phone was absolutely blowing up from the positive PR and the hate messages alike.

"It still cost you a mindblowing amount of money-- well, mindblowing to most people. I thought you were trying to find ways to do good and lift your spirits without it costing you money?" Toshiya pondered.

"Well, aren't we supposed to offer our best skills and assets to our friends in times of need? And what am I better at than making money..."

Toshiya sighed, "Well, I think you mostly got the message."

[litgwritersroom]

Fic Recs 🔖

The teams personal faves for the Casa Boys

✅ - Complete |🌷- Fluff | 🔥 - NSFW | 🤡 - Funny | 😖 - Angst

Arjun

Soon by @thesepromises ✅ 😖

Elijah's with Chelsea, and keeps promising to leave her for Arjun. Angst. Sadness. Dickhead Elijah. (6k+ words - Mature)

Fight for it by @queen-of-boopsueen_Of_Boops ✅ 🌷

Arjun is... a werewolf. Yes, you read that correctly. Yes, it works exactly as well as it sounds - very. (4k+ words - Mature)

Golden Thread by starsarestars ✅🤡

A twitter rivalry leads to more. Funny, snarky, and absolutely adorable. (10k+ words - Teen and Up)

Carl

Physics of Love by chenria ✅🌷😖🔥

Fabienne cheats on Carl with r!Lucas. What happens when they reunite four years later? (20k+ words - Explicit)

Too Much to Calculate by Ravenadottir 🌷😖🔥

You and Carl leave the villa and share a life together... or try. That is, if you can find common ground and let go of your pride. (122k+ words - Mature)

Elijah

Who Do You Love? by venueska ✅🌷😖

Catching feels for Elijah after saving him

Felix

Mind Games by becangle ✅😖

Felix POV of Casa. Big sad. Big big sad.

Graham

Hook, Line, and Sinker by Pearlbracelet ✅🤡

Basically shitposting. Graham's POV when entering CA. Funny, full of seafaring puns. (2k+ words - Mature)

Kassam

Paradise by promethexs ✅🌷🔥

Kassam's POV of Casa and the villa. AMAZING Writing. It's also fricking hot. Check the tags. (100k+ words - Explicit)

It's Always The Quiet Ones by LadyVelvetCPeterson ✅🌷😖

Deya has been the quiet one in the villa... has she met her match with Kassam? (60k+ words - Mature)

Gold Rush by crimswnred ✅😖

Kassam is unlucky in love, with his feelings going unrequited.

The Rhythm of Having by Pine 😖🌷

A series of snapshot chapters set within the Villa, after Kassam begins to see his friend as something more than that.

Shannon

Better by throughthejunobush ✅🌷

When Ramona returned from Casa to find Rahim shacked up with some busty Irish Tart, she wasn't worried, because Ramona doesn't lose. But Shannon had plans of her own, and she was willing to bet she would get what she wanted.

For the Love of the Game by Queen_of_Boops ✅ 💣

Shannon is addicted to winning. How will that effect her on Love Island?

From the Team

Casa Amor Character Spotlight Menu - coming soon!

One fic for each named Casa Amor contestant from S2. Ten fics in total.

[muddlemore]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

oh FUCK ok bet. listing these in no particular order because my answer for questions like this always change

Anyway the Wind Blows - The Mothers of Invention

THIS is why i always listen to spotify's recommended music holy shit

2. Bang Bang - G.E.M.

this has been stuck in my fucking head ever since i watched the movie. i used to love the original but honestly this cover is my fav

3. Cheat on the Church - Graveyard BBQ

THIS SONG CHANGED ME TBH. so fucking good

4. Laisse Tomber Les Filles - Fabienne DelSol

stumbled across this while making a playlist and it wont leave my head its a bop

5. Waltzing Matilda - The Seekers

i dont even remember how i found this one but its so comforting

[myhughniverse]

Brit Box : "Happy Birthday, Hugh Laurie 🎉We bet you didn't know that he is a Blues musician – a pianist and vocalist to be exact.

Celebrate the best of Hugh in new and old shows by watching Hugh in "Why They Didn't Ask Evans ", "Black Adder " and "In A Bit Of Fry & Laurie"."

Happy birthday Sir Hugh Laurie !

As a sincere admirer of Hugh Laurie, i was lucky enough to attend the Copper Bottom Band and his concerts twice at "Le Trianon " & au "Grand Rex" in 2011 & 2012. Unforgettable memories thanks to this awesome artist and gentleman !" Fabienne de (from) France.

[abnormal-angel]

Summary of My Favorite Quotes from the Enty Podcast (3/11):

Hey, I’m going to have to splice up the podcast audio because it is too long as is for Tumblr. I’ll try and do that tonight. But, I transcribed my favorite parts yesterday so I’ll post those for now. 

I bolded the comments by Enty I enjoyed the most and put my comments in (parentheses) and italized. If nothing else this is a good refresher for the timeline of these two, her and JJ, and the Fatih of it all ;) 

Enjoy!

-----

"Diane Kruger is an interesting story to me. And she is probably, she and Norman Reedus, are probably the #1 request I get...And it's, I don't know, it's the same. You know? Norman cheats, she forgives. She cheats, he doesn't care. That's kind of the thing."

(I still maintain this isn’t any real type of relationship. I mean he obviously is getting it a lot of other places besides her, meaning she just doesn’t do it for him, even in the bedroom. She just sticks arounf like the girl who hooked up with a guy and now is there every night watching him ignore her and flirt with everyone else in the room. Take the hint d. It is pretty pathetic, especially at this point.)

"I've never heard that they fight a lot. I think that they just...don't care. You know? Maybe they're just... Their apathetic, that's a good word.”

(That’s because he never wanted this to be serious or last this long. It is like two strangers sitting together at a table.)

[Talks about her ex-husband and their relationship]

[Talks about her and Joshua, more just friends than in love and there was overlap between Joshua and her ex-husband]

[Norman has let it slip that there is nothing "kinky" about Diane] 

(aka boring as fuck in bed lol! Let’s be real the man loves sex and I bet he enjoys mixing it up a bit at times, she obviously doesn’t fulfill him. I bet she just lays there lol!)

"Norman will have sex with anybody. He'll make the moves on anybody. And obviously, this is something Diane wanted... It happened Dec 2015, that's when the first inkling of it came up. And of course, she was still with Joshua at that time. And this totally makes sense, the story went that Norman and Diane were tipsy and he was on whiskey, she was on vodka, and they were making out in front of everybody. That totally sounds like every single Norman Reedus hookup ever! Okay? I've been writing Norman Reedus tips and they are all exactly the same. Comic con... drunk, go back to the hotel room, have sex, repeat the next day. That's his thing.

So when you hear the story and they’re in the bar and their drunk, I totally get it. There you know what happened. I 100% believe that's what happened and I think that perhaps Diane thought then maybe there was more to it or something? [he giggles at the thought] So, yeah they made out. Then she got him into a chair and she's straddling him. Which would lead you to believe that maybe things with Joshua aren't that great..."

(So again he was three sheets to the wind and that was the only reason she got him to make out with her. I go back to what I was told about on lookers saying he looked very uncomfortable when she was straddling him. So I have to wonder if his whiskey buzz had worn off by then and he wondered wtf he had just done.

And yeah she probably thought he would worship her ass and she would have him in the palm of her hand. But, I guess she really doesn’t know who he is and that to him this act wasn’t a serious thing. She legit was in his mind probably equivalent to a one night stand. Although Enty didn’t say anything about them leaving together and if I remember correctly he left alone not long after she straddled him and made an ass out of them both.)

[Talk about how awful she looked in this situation because she hadn't put it out there that she and Joshua had split when she was seen making out with Norman. She looks awful and "Norman doesn't care..."]

(He didn’t care because she wasn’t anything he was very interested in and it was a one time thing in his mind. Also remember when he heard she lied to him about not being with JJ anymore he ghosted her and pimp Fabienne had to pull him back in with a work related excuse.)

"Now she had said in an April 2016 article that she had never met Norman before filming Sky. She said, "We share a lot of intimate scenes and I was scared about meeting him and not being able to have a drink with him or talk with him." and "I would not recommend having your better half on set, when you have to film intimate scenes with another man," she said. I think that they were filming the movie, they start hooking up, and Joshua visits the set and he can see.”

(Funny drinking with him is the first thing that comes to mind before even talking to him! lol! Her only love besides herself is the bottle!)

(Also this is where I personally disagree. I do not think they hooked up on set. I think she tried several times but after she lied to him that trust for her was gone with him. Also, he had to have seen she was trying to latch onto him and not wanting anything serious I doubt he would be messing around with her when she was following him around like a puppy.  But, that’s my opinion.)

“The weird part was you had this happen in Dec 2015. But Diane and Josh didn't announce their split until July 2016. So 8 months after the fact. So what you had was everybody just blasting Diane Kruger for 8 months. And hurting Pacey, everybody loves Pacey. Nobody likes Diane Kruger. They don't have an emotional attachment to Diane Kruger...”

(”Nobody likes Diane Kruger.” - HAHAHA! Ain’t that the truth! Because she is a cold-hearted b*tch to everyone!)

“Over the time of the blog I've down 75 photos of Diane Kruger..75 pictures. She's maybe, maybe, wearing jeans in 2 of them. And I think it took me a decade to see her in a pair of jeans. I always thought about her who cared more about herself and fashion than anything else. And that Joshua was more like an accessory that had to be there. Much like a handbag or a pair of sunglasses...I think Joshua was always an accessory. And then Norman Reedus became that luxury item that you splurge on and break the bank with. And that's kind of what she wanted and Norman's that kind of guy for it.

(Well she certainly broke her career chasing after a man who didn’t want her!)

(I love the accessory comment because it really is true. When she was with JJ I always could tell she really only loved being with him for the camera and media attention. Norman is the very same thing to her, nothing more than her meal ticket to have an excuse to be in the media because otherwise no one cares about her or her career. She is a user.)

"Let's go back to 'Everybody Likes Pacey.'... Everybody in general public likes Pacey and Diane let herself be hammered for 7 or 8 months, 'homewrecker, homewrecker, homewrecker!" And what did they say about Norman Reedus? "Eh, It's Norman." So who's taking the brunt? Diane. Who's getting the sympathy votes? Joshua...

Anyway. She said about it in an interview in 2017 about why they waited until July of 2016. She says, "That break up was a long time coming. Also, we broke up many months before we said we were broken up, so by the time I made that decision it didn't feel like it was so urgent anymore. You don't break up overnight after 10 years, you know what I mean? It wasn't like an urgent, 'omg I can't sleep at night thing,' It felt liberating that I didn't have to worry about that anymore. So that I could immerse myself 100% into something else. That something else was the German language movie, "In the Fade."" Hmmm! "A role she won best actress at Canne's film festival in May."

“Okay. So, do you think that In the Fade coincided with that first time that she got pregnant? Right? So, maybe Diane was seeing Norman but he was seeing 50 other people. So, Diane and the director of In the Fade! 

(I heard she has had a few abortions, not miscarriages btw)

And Diane of course... This is how bad she is at this. By letting herself get hammered for 7 or 8 months... After 8 months of letting herself get hammered, she finally tries to get her friends to blame Josh, claiming he messed around for years and holding her career back because he was jealous. [sighs] Pacey doesn't have anything to be jealous about and Joshua Jackson can work all day long... But he was holding her back and he was jealous? She was working all the time. I don't think he was holding her back. The thing is she's never gonna be an A list actress, it's just not in the cards for her. People don't like her and now they like her less. Her cue scores are terrible!”

(She is never going to be an A list celeb. If she was meant to she would be by now. All she has ever been is a mediocre nobody who has to use men to get media attention.)

[Talks about Joshua's team saying she cheated and she was ruthlessly obsessed with her career over the relationship.]

"And again, I think that she... You can't tell everything about someone by the way someone dresses. But when you're seen at any kind of casual place and you're the one person who's wearing a chanel suit or a chanel dress, when everyone else is in shorts and flip flops or jeans and sneakers, and it happens all the time! It just gives everybody the impression that 'oh she thinks she is so much better than us.' And in Diane's case, she does think she's better than everybody. And maybe she is! I'm not saying she's not. 

I'm just not a huge fan of Diane Kruger. And I don't know a lot of people who are!

(My favorite line of the whole podcast lmao! SO TRUE!)

"And when they say, 'oh her friends,' I thought to myself what friends does she have? She doesn't. She has some guy friends. And I suppose they could have stuck up for her. But, she doesn't. Go look. Go back and find older pictures of her and see if you can find pictures of her hugging other women at parties or something. Maybe a co-star she's hugging on the red carpet that she's just filmed with and you'll never see her with that actress again. She's just not very loved..."

"She's hooking up with Norman but Norman's hooking up with 55 other people."

"They were totally platonic, they were separated... She was just, there." (Art exhibit Dec 2016)

Feb 2016 - garage pap pics

(with Fatih also through this time)

March 2017 - pap walk from hell

"I'm not saying she reads the site. But, I will say a lot of publicists read the site. Whenever I have a blind about Diane Kruger and like Norman hooking up with a co-star, that he hooks up with from time to time or regularly or frequently. Whenever I write something like that, remarkably, magically she will have some kind of post, usually within hours, but always by the next day, where she's facetiming him or an instagram post talking about how much in love they are. It's always like that. You never see those posts from her until there's something negative written and then the next day boom it's there!"

(It is a definite pattern for her! She basically ignores him unless someone starts questioning her rag fake storyline of “romance.” So contrived and she is so predictable!)

"So they had their child in November of 2018. So if you backtrack that she would have gotten pregnant in what? February? January? Something like that... So, let's say they were together from December 2017 and started trying to have the baby... There is that time though were you can definitely make the case that she was with the in the fade director. And I wonder, because there are plenty of rumors, that Norman Reedus, that he got a vasectomy. Because he's having so much sex with the comic con people right? And condoms break. And he didn't want to have 50 kids running all over, dressed as Walking Dead characters. So I've always wondered I don't know chemicals or something, it's possible. Plus she's 42 and she had a miscarriage before. Which is to be expected when you're having a baby and your over 40."

(She was with Fatih most of November and nearly all of December 2017. She barely saw Norman except in Costa when she was told to bring friends because he wasn’t hanging with her. So, being that cold to her I doubt they were screwing.)

(Also remember that article saying in March of 2018 she was seen in that warehouse district with Fatih? That was right after she trolled baby bump on the set of The Operative. If she was pregnant with Norman’s kid why would she be meeting up in secret with Fatih?)

(I also have always believed he was snipped. He enjoys himself too much not to be and have no accidental kids in 20 years since planned Mingus.)

"She's always been very private about the child...And here's the thing, she has never really been private about anything! You can always get her photo, right? Streets, red carpets, she'll do it all, met gala. She very, very, much wants to have her picture taken. She's that kind of actress who needs that publicity to stay relevant. Okay? Because she has to force herself out amongst it. She's not the type of person that the paparazzi gets all excited about. So she needs to push it. She needs to push where she is. She needs to do those kind of things.

Having a child of Norman Reedus and Diane Kruger, living in New York, you push that baby out in a stoller? You're gonna get some pictures. You're going to be in the tabloids every single day. And that's the kind of thing she needs to keep her career going at 42 years old... People are interested, it's more about Norman, but they want to know about this baby.

There is a lot of speculation that he is not the dad. Sperm wise or other. And the vasectomy thing, yes you can get them reversed. But it could be, has anybody's wondered, it could be perhaps that she doesn't want the child photographed. She has done her instagram thing, 'please do not like or retweet or anything like that about photos of the baby.' And I wonder if that's because the baby doesn't exactly look like Norman. So I want to know if she used a sperm donor. And I think that it's highly likely that she did. To me that makes more sense then him reversing a vasectomy.

(I definitely 1000% believe this kid is not his. Sperm donor or surrogate still makes most sense to me. And yeah why hide the baby? She is not private at all and LOVED trolling that this was his kid when it was in her womb - supposedly. So, why hide it now? She is lying about something with this kid and if it doesn’t look like him that would definitely explain it!)

He is a kind of guy who likes to have fun. You know? If they do end up splitting I think what you'll see is.. I wonder if he'll even, if... the true tell will be if he spends a lot of time on visits and things like that, if he's co-parenting, or if he just kind of fades away.”

“I think he thinks that she's trying to hang onto him. Which may very well be. Because since the time that she's been with Norman she makes much more news. She and Josh were kind of boring. But they were there and they were taking pictures all the time and they would get themselves out. But Norman's on a whole other level because so many people are fascinated with his life and the ins and outs of it and there are all these kinds of walking dead message boards... And like I said, I get the most requests for them out of anything.

(Norman isn’t wrong. She is desperate to hang onto him. But it has nothing to do with loving him and everything to do with loving the media attention.)

But it always is, when you have actresses and actors who always get their pictures taken but then all of a sudden become reluctant when it comes to the children and then you wonder, okay is this the real children?” 

(I think he meant is this the real parent.)

“And I don't understand Diane, because Norman doesn't seem her type really. He chain smokes, he drinks every night, he's always on the road, he loves comic cons. It doesn't seem as if the parental life is for him. Ya know? He will.. He loves going back to work! In Georgia, away, he knows that Diane's not coming down to Georgia. 

(No media attention in GA and she isn’t allowed to pap the set.)

He canceled a convention he was scheduled to attend because Diane basically made him. She doesn't like him meeting the female fans. She gets super jealous. And he likes meeting the female fans. And if she keeps trying to keep him from seeing stuff, it's not gonna work.

(What’s interesting to me is it seems like he let her semi tag along for years when she didn’t say anything or bother him about his hook ups. But lately she has been getting more and more jealous - probably because she knows he has lost all interest in her, which is why she trolled the pregnancy in the first place. But, she is going to wreck herself by doing this. It is obvious Norman loves his freedom and wants to be able to do whatever the fuck he wants. The more demanding she gets the more she will push him away. 

(p.s. fuck you for making him cancel a con, jealous bitch! If you were so comitted and in love with each other he wouldn’t prefer other women to you. Face reality and fug off!)

What's interesting is when Norman goes to these comic cons, he was still wanting to take pictures with everybody, every single female fan. He was, 'take a picture, take a picture, take a picture,' he doesn't care. Now though he doesn't want the photos taken, with Diane [being so jealous], because it interferes. Because then she gives him a hard time and then he can't go. The hooking up that goes on it's just, it's crazy.”

-----

Alright! That’s what I got! I don’t know if he is going to out more or not. He seemed like he wanted to dig around and see if he could find out if she had a sperm donor. I am still on the fence about her even carrying a kid! I also wanted to know a little more about the TH. So, I guess we will have to see if he outs more!

I’ll try and get the audio up soon after I splice it into parts!

[literensics]

Tweeted

Critiques: La théorie des poignées de main par Fabienne Betting https://t.co/aHjjlKACJ2 @literensics

— Literensics (@literensics) Mar 8, 2022

[zombiiesque]

A Month of Nocturne Alchemy Samples: Week One

Originally published 3/18/2019

Hey y'all. I'm going to open myself up for a little judgment here, and show you my sample box. Hah! I've got a thinner box, different than the ones I use to store my full bottles, the photo on the right is the top of it. Pretty decorated box, and I bought it years back to store my samples/decants. Well, I'm not the best at organizing it - they usually just get tossed in there, and whenever I do organize it, it never stays the way it's meant to. Ah well, I love my box. I've got a smaller box that's shaped like a little coffin, that I picked up from the Dollar Tree during Halloween one year. It holds overflow, when I have it, or the scents I'm trying to remember to work with at that moment. Unfortunately, with these little treasures, out of sight is out of mind, and also, I have a tendency to hoard stuff that I know is discontinued or won't be coming back - I'm looking at you, Plumeria Sapphire and Kiskah Kashmir. Sigh. I really should just wear them. My friend Siri says the late, wonderful, perfumer of Possets, Fabienne, told folks to wear them and enjoy, and so, I am trying to do this more. Another Tent member, Thyra, mentioned she was doing a "Mini March", using her samples and minis because they get neglected. Yes, I had been trying to do this myself for a while now, so it gave me the inspiration I needed to get started. I'm going to try to be on top of this, and post once a week my thoughts on the samples I've used. Week One, here we go!

Vanilla Pumpkin: Pumpkin Accord, Pumpkin skin, Black Fig, Nutmeg, Clove, NA Crystalline Vanilla Absolute, Bourbon Vanilla Absolute, French Vanilla, Tahitian Vanilla, Ember Vanilla, Ember Burning Woods accord. This is one of two from a Chris Raimo Kickstarter project, and my friend Ld was kind enough to send me samples of these! This is a little reminiscent of a favorite I've been hoarding. Bastet made a Crystalline Burning Jack, based off the PC Burning Jack, and gave it out with NAlloween orders a few years back. Absolutely adore that! This is a little like that, but with fig. The spice is tempered with the vanillas, and the pumpkin and fig are really good together. This feels so fall, it has me longing for cooler weather and for summer to be behind me already. The drydown is so cozy.

Incense Pumpkin: Pumpkin Accord, Pumpkin skin, Black Fig, Nutmeg, Clove, Butter accord, NA Kashmir Incense, Frankincense, Myrrh, Amber, Nag Champa Incense and Black Amber. Ooo. This is the second Chris Raimo pumpkin, and I really like this one, too. My first impression is of incense and buttery pumpkin. It doesn't end up significantly foodie, however. How do they make that work so well together? I don't have Pumpkin number 31, the OP pumpkin blend, but this makes me think of that. This is a little similar to Vanilla Pumpkin, but the incense is a little more intense, and I really like it. I've worn this a few times, and I forget what I have on, and have to huff my wrist, I find it enchanting. Not that it matters all that much to me, but this could be considered more of an evening scent than its sister. I don't mark this one as overwhelmingly nag champa, either. It's a more complex incense.

Night Thoughts: Gold Santalum, Santalum Absolute, Papyrus accord, Indian Teakwood Essence, Bay Rum, Kobalt and Crystalline with a touch of Japanese White Tangerine Skin. Okay, this is from my first year collecting NA! Some of my first decants, from Art of Love - I got this from Laura, my good friend. Miss you, lady. This one veers into masculine on me, but I think it would smell good on my fiance. Or folks who wear more obviously masculine scents well, I can't quite pull it off, but I can do unisex. I like it, I'll have to try it on him to see if it works. I amped the bay rum, and that's a great note on him - and the teak. But I honestly can't remember the last time I tried this, so I'm glad I did!

The Bower Garden: Black and Red Currant Essence, Dragon's Blood Resin, French Syrah Red Wine Accord, German Lilac, Egyptian Fig and Sandalwood Musk. This decant was actually a gift from my friend Adrienne! She loves fig as much as I do. I really enjoyed this one, I might have to hunt down a full bottle of this. The berry combined with the dragon's blood and sandalwood musk is just so me. And I always love how they do their wine notes. I feel like the lilac adds a wonderful freshness to this blend, I really like it - I love love love lilac, it's one of my favorite flowers, and I've never tried NA's lilac before - I honestly think I will have to try more, now. It's very realistic. All of the notes play beautifully together, and I'm a little swoony over this. It has a very spring feel, and the dragon's blood adds a good grounding note here, it's a tad spicy/incensey. Mmm. Total win. It might be my favorite this week.

Thoth: Nile Ozone, Papyrus, Cream of Strawberry accord, White Incense and Alexandrian Sea Salt accord. This is such a clean, bright scent. It's serene. It was a little powdery on me when I first tried it, but as you know, they change with age. This could be a staple scent for summer. Also, I find it to be very unisex, not overtly masculine nor feminine. I'd try it on Jody, but I'm not sure it's one he would go for, he usually goes for the darker stuff, but he likes these on me. I don't really notice the cream of strawberry, it's probably a supporting note. The incense is soft and not in your face, and provides a really nice balance to keep this from being too clean, if that makes sense I definitely want to upsize this. I bet it would be really awesome with a little Santalum White, too. A very beachy scent, it feels blue. This is from the PC, the Gods, Goddesses and Deity subcollection.

Pakhet Amber: Pakhet Amber is a perfume created from Amber Resin transformed over time in the Studio into a beautiful enhancing Royal Amber oil experience, Amber Resin imported from Alexandria and lit from the truest essential oil of Rare and Exotic Guiacwood and Crystal Benzoin and Crystal Frankincense. Using the base of the Amber described above the resin has been turned into a fossilized perfume resin from ancient recipes and then turned back into perfume oil diluting nothing only the use of Alchemy and inspiring this scent to be made and created for the Goddess Pakhet. Warrior, protector, and huntress. Pakhet Amber infuses rare spices of Blue Peppercorn, White Clove Bud, Virgin Nutmeg Shaving over the warmth of Ambers from Nepal and Egypt and sifted through Sapphire (Amber Musk) to create a spiced amber that changes over time on the skin. So Pakhet Amber is from the PC (Permanent Catalogue), in the Royal Amber section. This is honestly one of my favorite sections, a few years ago I did a good sized PC order with a bunch from this section. I avoided Pakhet Amber though, but someone sent me a sample, and I haven't worn it. Right out of the gate on me, this is all clove. I can wear spices on occasion, even clove - I have and love Polichenelle, also from the PC. But sometimes, I just amp the spice, and all I can smell - or anyone else for that matter - is that. Unfortunately, Pakhet Amber does just that on me. Bahhhh. I get sad when a fan favorite is something I can't do. The clove just went to powering out any of the other notes here. Skinistry is such a crazy thing! It will have to go to the gift pile, hopefully someone else will have better luck than I did with it. It sounds divine, and I really loved what I could smell in the vial. Sadface.

NA Purpose Oil: Strength: Sky Musk, Solar Amber, White Patchouli, Egyptian Dragon Blood Resin, Kobalt Vanilla Resin (Vanilla Orchid of Cairo), Bastet's Blue Incense Accord, Orange Zest and Lavender Buds. I have a full bottle of their Purpose Oil: Protection, and I just love it. It's very special. I haven't actually worn this Purpose Oil before, though. I've been meaning to test them all, so this is a good push for me to do that this month. This starts out with a dose of lavender, citrus, and amber burst. It's fresh, and the lavender feels a little herbal, and not too strong. Ooo, this is really a pretty combination. I've never smelled anything quite like this, it's appealing to me. The lavender is balancing out with the other notes as they appear, so it's still working for me. I love the musk here with the incense, it's so pretty with the lighter, brighter notes. For me, I think this is an excellent oil for Strength - it gives a breezy confidence. I like this quite a lot, I wasn't sure if it would work on me but it definitely does.

So, that wraps up this first week of samples. That was a great motivator, and I should honestly make myself wear them far more than I do, there are a lot of treasures in that box. Have a good Monday, folks!

[ferrari-architectes]

Réhabilitation/Transformation d’une grange en cave de dégustation + bureaux  - Wettolsheim

Maîtrise d’Oeuvre: Vinicio Ferrari & Associés Architectes - Billich Réalisations - DMI - BET Marchal - Décoratrice d’Intérieur Fabienne Bunzli

Crédits Photographiques: Stéphane Spach

[bambi-sims-blog1]

Previous | Next | Beginning

Lupita and Fabienne set off to the city. The engine rumbled below them as they drove in silence. Lupita stared out the window at the passing cacti and sand. Sand as far as the eye could see. Fabienne was tapping idly on the wheel, the noise keeping Lupita tethered to the unsavoury reality they rested in. “Your mother’s an ass.” Fabienne said finally after the silence became suffocating. Lupita let out a harsh laugh that had no humour to it. Lupita didn’t see it but Fabienne turned her head toward her, her dark eyes were sympathetic. “When we get there I’ll tell you about my useless Madre.” Fabienne continued in a vain attempt to start a conversation. “If you’d like.” “I doubt it can be worse than my mom.” Lupita replied in a dejected voice. “Is that a bet?” Fabienne raised her eyebrows. “Maybe it is?” Lupita turned to Fabienne. “Alright then, you’re on.” Fabienne smiled, there was a competitive edge to her gaze. “You’re gonna lose.” Lupita replied. “Damn, you sound confident.” Fabienne smirked knowingly. “Because I am.” Lupita rolled her eyes. “Wow, I can’t believe we’re arguing about who has a worse mother.”   They both laughed. Laughed at the irony. Laughed at the sadness. Laughed because there was nothing else they could do. “Now, that’s what I was looking for.” Fabienne smiled, watching Lupita laugh.

Poses cutesy of the talented @sandy-sims Thank you!!

[tuseriesdetv]

Noticias de series de la semana: Netflix renueva 'El vecino'

Renovaciones

Netflix ha renovado El vecino por una segunda temporada

NBC ha renovado The Blacklist por una octava temporada

Paramount Network ha renovado Yellowstone por una cuarta temporada

BET+ ha renovado Bigger por una segunda temporada

BBC One ha renovado King Gary por una segunda temporada

BBC One ha renovado The Goes Wrong Show por una segunda temporada

Cancelaciones

La tercera temporada de Alta mar (Netflix) será la última

Cartoon Network ha cancelado Steven Universe Future tras su primera temporada

Noticias cortas

Delroy Lindo (Adrian Boseman) no volverá como regular a partir de la cuarta temporada de The Good Fight, ya que tiene planeado protagonizar un piloto para ABC. Tiene la puerta abierta para regresar.

Priah Ferguson (Erica) será regular en la cuarta temporada de Stranger Things.

Se ha detenido la producción de Shantaram hasta el fin de la época de monzones en India. Aprovechan para buscar un showrunner con más experiencia televisiva. El anterior, que proviene del mundo del cine y se había quedado atrás con sus guiones, permanecerá como productor.

Fichajes

Niecy Nash (Williams), Wendi McLendon-Covey (Johnson), Cedric Yarbrough (Jones), Carlos Alazraqui (Garcia), Ian Roberts (Declan), Joe LoTruglio (Rizzo) y Mary Birdsong (Kimball) volverán al revival de Reno 911!. Robert Ben Garant (Junior), Thomas Lennon (Dangle) y Kerri Kenney-Silver (Wiegel) ya habían firmado para escribir y protagonizar el regreso.

Rainn Wilson (The Office, Six Feet Under) interpretará a Daniel Dandon, el gobernador de Washington, en The Power.

Annie Murphy (Schitt's Creek) protagonizará Kevin Can F*** Himself, que alternará entre el realismo monocámara y la comedia multicámara. Será Allison, una esposa de sitcom que escapa de los confines de su serie y toma las riendas de su propia vida.

Bebe Neuwirth (Cheers, Madam Secretary) será recurrente en The Flight Attendant como Diana Carlisle, socia de la firma en la que trabaja Annie (Zosia Mamet).

Kristofer Hivju (Game of Thrones), Yasen Atour (Young Wallander), Agnes Bjorn, Paul Bullion (Peaky Blinders), Thue Ersted Rasmussen (Sygeplejeskolen), Aisha Fabienne Ross y Mecia Simson serán Nivellen, Coën, Vereena, Lambert, Eskel, Lydia y Francesca en la segunda temporada de The Witcher.

Jeri Ryan (Star Trek: Voyager, Body of Proof) interpretará a Gwendolyn Hayes, hermana de la madre del protagonista y exagente de DXS que fue dada por muerta, en la cuarta temporada de MacGyver.

Janet McTeer (Sorry For Your Loss, Jessica Jones) será Carolyn Brock, jefa de gabinete del presidente Stroud, en The President Is Missing.

Keegan Allen (Pretty Little Liars, What/If) interpretará al hermano de Walker (Jared Padalecki) en el reboot de Walker.

Carl Lumbly (Alias, Supergirl) se une a The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Se cree que podría interpretar a Isaiah Bradley, el Capitán América negro.

William Hurt (Humans, Damages) será Red Hulk, el alter ego del General Ross, en She-Hulk. Es posible que interprete a Ross en The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

Angus Sampson (Fargo, Insidious) será Cisco, antiguo miembro de una banda de moteros que ahora trabaja como investigador para Mickey; en The Lincoln Lawyer.

Kevin Bigley (Sirens, The Moodys), Allegra Edwards (Briarpatch) y Zainab Johnson (American Koko) protagonizarán Upload en Amazon junto a Robbie Ammell y Andy Allo. Elizabeth Bowen (Fargo, No Tomorrow), William B Davis (Continuum, The X-Files) y Owen Daniels (Space Force) serán recurrentes.

Odessa Young (Assassination Nation) y Ella Rumpf (Raw, Die göttliche Ordnung) se unen a Tokyo Vice como regulares. Serán Samantha, americana expatriada y anfitriona de un club exclusivo de Tokyo; y Polina, joven de Europa del Este y nueva anfitriona junto a Samantha.

Geoffrey Arend (Madam Secretary, Body of Proof) y Brandon Scott (Dead to Me, 13 Reasons Why) se unen como regulares a la cuarta y última temporada de Goliath. Serán Griffin Petock, un abogado defensor carismático y manipulador; y Robert Bettencourt, un joven y ambicioso asociado senior de la firma Margolis & True. Obba Babatundé (Dear White People, SWAT) y Elias Koteas (Chicago PD, The Killing) serán recurrentes como Ivan Tillinger, CEO de Tillinger Health; y Tom True, socio fundador de Margolis & True.

Pósters

            Nuevas series

Netflix encarga seis episodios de The Chair, dramedia sobre la directora del departamento de inglés en una universidad importante. Protagonizada por Sandra Oh (Killing Eve, Grey's Anatomy) y Jay Duplass (Transparent, The Mindy Project). Creada y escrita por Amanda Peet. Producida por Peet, Oh (Killing Eve), David Benioff (Game of Thrones), D.B. Weiss (Game of Thrones) y Bernadette Caulfield (Game of Thrones, The X-Files).

Paul Rudd (Living With Yourself, Ant-Man) y Will Ferrell (Stranger Than Fiction, The Producers) protagonizarán y producirán The Shrink Next Door, adaptación del podcast inspirado en hechos reales. Es una comedia negra sobre un psiquiatra (Rudd) que llega a mudarse a casa de su paciente (Ferrell) y a encargarse de su negocio familiar. Se busca cadena.

Sean Penn (Milk, Mystic River), Julia Roberts (Homecoming, Pretty Woman), Armie Hammer (Call Me by Your Name, The Social Network) y Joel Edgerton (Loving, Boy Erased) protagonizarán Gaslit, adaptación del podcast Slow Burn que se centra en personajes secundarios del caso Watergate. Interpretarán a John Mitchell, el fiscal general de Nixon; Martha Mitchell, socialite de Arkansas y esposa de John; John Dean, abogado de la Casa Blanca; y G. Gordon Liddy, veterano de la guerra de Vietnam y antiguo agente del FBI. Escrita por Robbie Pickering (Mr. Robot, One Mississippi), dirigida por Joel Edgerton (Boy Erased) y Nash Edgerton (Mr. Inbetween) y producida por Sam Esmail (Homecoming, Mr. Robot). Se busca cadena.

Netflix encarga ocho episodios de Painkiller, drama sobre los orígenes de la crisis del opio de Estados Unidos. Basada en el reportaje de Patrick Radden Keefe para The New Yorker Magazine (2017) y en el libro de Barry Meier (2018) y escrita y producida por Micah Fitzerman-Blue y Noah Harpster, guionistas de A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood y Transparent. Dirigida por Peter Berg (The Leftovers, Friday Night Lights). Dirigida por Peter Berg (Very Bad Things, Hancock).

ITV encarga seis episodios de Trigger Point, thriller protagonizado por Lana Washington (Vicky McClure; Line of Duty, This Is England), una agente de la brigada de artificieros de la policía metropolitana de Londres que ha de controlar una serie de dispositivos improvisados que amenazan la capital inglesa y sospecha que el terrorista quiere atentar contra su unidad. Creado por Daniel Brierley y producido por Jed Mercurio (Line of Duty).

Channel 5 encarga cuatro episodios de The Drowning, thriller sobre una mujer (Jill Halfpenny; Humans, Liar) que conoce a un adolescente (Cody Molko) y cree que ha encontrado a su hijo desaparecido hace ocho años. Su esperanza crece de tal manera que toma un camino peligroso y transgresor hasta el borde de la razón. Completan el reparto Jonas Armstrong (Hit & Miss, The Bay), Rupert Penry-Jones (Lucky Man, The Strain) y Deborah Findlay (The Split). Creada por Francesca Brill (Crossroads) y Luke Watson, director de Britannia o Shameless, y escrita por Tim Dynevor (Emmerdale Farm).

HBO Max desarrolla The Gordita Chronicles, comedia sobre una reportera latina que recuerda su niñez como inmigrante dominicana creciendo en Miami en los años 80. Escrita por Claudia Forestieri (Good Trouble, Selena) e inspirada en su propia vida. Producida por Zoe Saldana.

E4 encarga seis episodios de Maxxx, comedia sobre una antigua estrella de boyband que intenta, con la ayuda de su prima/superfan/acosadora Rose (Helen Monks; Raised by Wolves, Upstart Crow) y de su antiguo mánager (Christopher Meloni; Happy!, Oz), volver a triunfar en la música para recuperar a su exnovia supermodelo (Jourdan Dunn). Con Pippa Bennett-Warner (Harlots) y Javone Prince (PhoneShop). Escrita, producida, dirigida y protagonizada por O-T Fagbenle, actor de The Handmaid's Tale o Looking.

Fechas

McDonald & Dodds, antes conocida como Invisible, se estrena en ITV el 1 de marzo

La segunda temporada de Liar se estrena en ITV el 2 de marzo

The Trouble With Maggie Cole, antes llamada Glass Houses, se estrena en ITV el 4 de marzo

Noughts + Crosses se estrena en BBC One el 5 de marzo

Caronte se estrena en Amazon el 6 de marzo

La tercera temporada de On My Block llega a Netflix el 11 de marzo

La tercera temporada de Élite llega a Netflix el 13 de marzo

Ruthless se estrena en BET+ el 19 de marzo

Paradise Lost se estrena en Spectrum el 13 de abril

La tercera temporada de Vida se estrena en Starz el 13 de abril

Hollywood llega a Netflix el 1 de mayo

Tráilers y promos

Élite - Temporada 3

Westworld - Temporada 3

Little Fires Everywhere

Run

I Am Not Okay With This

Amazing Stories

Vida - Temporada 3

On My Block - Temporada 3

Noughts + Crosses

Caronte

Devils

Belgravia

[multiplefandomfics]

Grimes Sisters chapter 19

Pairings: Shane x Fabienne; Daryl x Alex

Warnings: walker bite, death, angst, grief,

Words: 2007

Fabienne POV

When we finally found the restroom on our floor we noticed that it was locked and we had no way inside. The problem was, that we urgently needed a toilet so we decided to go outside without telling the group. Thinking about it it had been a really dumb idea but you know what they say: you always know it better afterwards. The moment we stepped out of the bushes we saw that our way back had been blocked by a large herd of walkers. “Damn it!” I cursed lowly under my breath and Alex agreed. The only thing we could do in that situation was staying as silent as possible, hide and wait until they had passed us by. Sitting behind some shrubs we heard leaves crushing and twigs breaking and a moment later a stray walker stumbled out of the under-bush. I pulled my machete out of my belt and hit it clean through the biters skull.

“Fabienne? Alex?” we suddenly heard shouts behind us. It was Shane who was probably dying in worry. Rick was right behind him yelling for us as well fighting their way together through the walker herd. That was suicide! I thought but we stood up and yelled back to gain their attention nonetheless.

“It’s our fault that they’re gonna risk their lives now for us.” Alex whispered to me I gripped her hand tightly. Bit by bit Daryl, Shane and Rick fought their way through the herd and when they had finally almost managed to get through something gripped my leg harshly and I fell to the ground. I had been so invested in the scene before me that I hadn’t noticed the biter coming out of the forest behind us. Desperately I tried to free myself off it. It was almost embarrassing that I fell into a panicked frenzy. Alex couldn’t have helped me because she had already run toward Daryl but Shane was close enough to try and pull me free. Then it all went really quickly- Shane tried to grab for his gun in the holster by his hip but unfortunately he wasn’t fast enough and the biter he was holding off with the other arm bit him in it. It felt like everything was playing out in slow motion. Shane just stabbed the walker precisely through his temple, pulled me up because I was too shocked to react on my own all while holding pressure on his wound. After what had just happened came rushing into my brain I started to sob uncontrollably “Shane… No! This can’t be happening.” he was close to tears too I could sense that but couldn’t say a word. So I turned to the others and yelled “I need help over here! Rick immediately shot over to us and when he saw what had happened he was devastated. I was full on crying by then. I saw the look on Ricks face and knew he thought about amputating the arm but Shane would have never survived that. The worst part was that he was gonna die and we couldn’t do shit about it. “We need to help him… there has to be a way.. Please!” I cried and my voice broke. “Fabi, you can’t help me. There's nothing you could do. I love you so much.” he hissed in pain and clamped his teeth shut tightly. It was so hard for me to let go of him so I held onto him as tight as I could. I couldn’t believe it. I was really gonna lose him. This should happen to no one. It was the worst feeling in the world and then I could finally understand what Rick went through after Lori died. One last time I leaned down to kiss him with tears streaming down over my face. “I love you and I always will.” then I felt two strong arms around my middle pulling me away from him. Shane took his gun out of his holster, looked at me one more time before we got up. “Take care of her. Of them all.” Shane wanted Rick to promise and of course he did. Rick then just pulled me away so I wouldn’t have to see Shane dying. My whole body was shaking in grief and anger. I blamed myself. He had just wanted to save me. And now he was dying. That just wasn’t fair. But then what in this world was fair anymore?

I couldn’t look back anymore so we made our way back to the hotel entrance and had just reached it when we heard the shot echo. I winced and Rick pulled me into an embrace to shield me from the world it seemed. Then my legs gave out and when Rick carried me inside everything turned black.

“It’s all my fault!” I screamed crying still. “I killed him. He’s dead because of me!” I hated myself for what had happened. Rick and Alex were desperately trying to calm me down but I wasn’t having any of it. I had loved Shane so much it physically hurt having him not with me and knowing I never would again. “It was not your fault. He could take care of himself but accidents happen.” Alex whispered in my ear. She had no idea how I felt. She did still have Daryl. At some point I fell asleep completely exhausted from crying. It wasn’t a very relaxing sleep. I had those pictures in my head haunting me. Shane being bitten and torn to shreds. And again and again I heard the shot ring in my ears. Bathed in sweat I woke up, looking around me in sheer panic. Rick was still holding me in his arms rubbing his eyes tiredly. Slowly he stroked my back calmingly. I loved him for he knew exactly that I didn’t need many words in that moment. Just one who was there when I woke up from the nightmares. Cuddling myself back against him I eventually fell asleep again.

The next morning everyone was already awake again and looking at me with the same look of pity that I had hated my whole life. It made me wanna run far away. I wasn’t even able to cry anymore and felt like I was paralyzed.

One glance outside and I saw that the walker herd had moved on and I needed some air. When I walked past Daryl he asked me “Where’re ya goin’”

“Just getting some fresh air, ‘s all.” I mumbled and he nodded in agreement.

From the entrance of the building I glanced toward the place where Shane’s body probably still laid. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. I needed to see him so I gathered all my courage and walked over slowly. And there he was. White as a sheet. Bullet hole in his temple. But even then I couldn’t cry again. I crouched down next to him stroking his hand lovingly, thinking. I had no idea how long I was sitting there like that but I had one thought going round in my had that I couldn’t let go of. I needed to get away from here. From everything. Let it all go. I grabbed Shane’s gun and turned my back to the hotel and my family. I couldn’t stand anyone anymore….

Rick POV

What a night. I had tried forever to get Fabienne to sleep. But who better to understand her than me? Of course I was upset as well. He had been my partner and best friend and now he was gone. Even though it had been tough sometimes he had always had my back.

I had already turned morning and I noticed Fabi gone. I asked around for her and only Daryl could give me an answer. “She wanted to go outside for a bit. Looked damn determined I didn’t wanna hold her back.” he grumbled.

Full of panic I stormed outside hoping she wasn’t gonna do something really dumb. I looked around but didn’t catch a glimpse of her anywhere. Daryl had been on my trail and tried tracking her. If he couldn’t find her no one could. “Damn it!” I cursed loudly. We walked over to Shane’s corpse but he hadn’t been moved but I was betting that she had been there and when Daryl found her footprints in the mud I had proof. “Where did she go?” I mumbled more to myself than to anyone in particular. “I’ll try ‘n follow her, Rick don’t worry. You go and take care of the others.” Daryl offered and I was really thankful for that. I couldn’t lose anyone else.

After Daryl had vanished into the woods I made my way back to the hotel, Alex already storming toward me “Where is she? Is she okay?” she asked those questions that I couldn’t answer.

Breathing deeply in and out I took her in my arms but she pushed me away “Something is wrong, right?” I nodded and told her with a heavy heart what had happened “She’s gone. Daryl said she had just wanted to step outside for a while, clear her head. But now we can’t seem to find her and Daryl has gone tracking her. She can’t have gotten far.” I tried to keep her calm. And then I saw my usually so reserved and emotionally strong sister break down and cry. The rest of the group had also listened in on the conversation and I was able to see the pity and sadness in their eyes. But I needed to stay strong for everyone around me. They relied on me and what kind of a leader would I be if I lost my head then? I needed to believe that Daryl was gonna find her. “We will stay for another few days and then move on.” I announced to talk about something else than my missing sister.

Half an eternity went by, at least it felt like it, before Daryl entered the hotel again. Without Fabienne. “You didn’t find her?” he shook his head “Trail’s gone cold ‘bout 15 miles south. She must’ha went up or down a stream through the water. I’m sorry Rick.” he mumbled probably blaming himself again. So I clapped his shoulder to show him it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I should have taken better care of her. I’m her big brother I should have known that she had been hurting worse than she led on. “I’m such an idiot!” but Daryl interrupted me “I should’ha gone with her.” But I wasn’t gonna allow him to take the blame for that. I shook my head and tried to get all those thoughts away from me. Maybe she was gonna come back when she had cooled down. To get our minds off of everything we went outside to give Shane the burial he deserved. Alex even picked some flowers and said that Fabienne would have wanted it that way.

Then we went silently and exhausted to bed even though it took me forever to fall asleep my thoughts always circling around Fabienne.

I had only one dream: Fabienne running through the woods alone and with walker hot on her heels until she falls and gets torn apart. This made me shake awake again and again. After I had woken up the third time through that nightmare I got up to go after her again but a hand on my biceps stopped me. It was Daryl holding me off from doing something really stupid “Don’t do that, Rick. We’re gonna go tomorrow to look for her again.” and I knew he was right.

The next morning we went on our way early again and it felt like the search for Sophia all over again. And we know how that turned out. I couldn’t have that again. We had to try and we had to find her….