#FUCKULENT

[edward-little]

first i was just trying to get the fuck outta there. and after we got away i've just been dealing with him.

[see-arcane]

I was watching a rant video about a truly awful (but popular on tiktok) Dark Romance hockey novel series, and they said "by USA Today & Amazon bestselling author C.R. Jane" and I had to do a double take at the name 💀

Stay tuned for my next story in which I force every public domain horror story's cast onto the ice where they alternate between bloodshed, scoring points, and scoring each other xxxooo

[lizzorasaurus]

Our fucked up succulent.

A what-the-fuckulent, even.

[sarasa-cat]

Tumblr what the fuck

Now my select list of blogs I watch has become fuckulated

This app

Idk

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Maroon once rhymed “succulent” with “fuckulent” and no one noticed because of the confidence he said it with

[kornwulf]

So today was a long day. I spent the day de-fuckulating a friend of mine's truck. Or. I suppose... Re-fuckulated it? Depending on how you look at it?

So, for context, this buddy has a heavily modified mid-2010's Toyota Tundra. Lifted, tuned, fat tires... But you'll never mistake it for a pavement princess. Dude drives the absolute pants off this machine, it's painted over in bedliner, and I've never seen it without it either covered in a thick layer of mud or profoundly broken and half disassembled

We went camping together a couple weeks ago, and, as is typical, he sent it a bit too fuckin' hard down the forest service roads above Squamish and somehow, by whatever the opposite of a miracle is, lose *both* taillights. One of which I then proceeded to hit, following at a more reasonable speed a couple minutes behind. Being a good friend I offered to help him fix the damage.

Well, it turns out even scrapyard taillights for those trucks are ridiculously expensive so we did the "next best thing" and decided to buy a pair of 10 dollar, Canadian Tire Special utility trailer taillights and crudely bolt them to holes we drilled on the support for the tailgate (also long gone)

After roughly three hours of shopping, installation, testing, and frustration, we realized that wouldn't work. His turn signal and brake lights are on different circuits, while the trailer taillights are expecting both of those on one circuit. So we could either have turn signals or brake lights on at one time, but not both. Needless to say we decided that was unacceptable.

We decided to break for lunch and talk it out, and I came up with the idea to go *back* to Canadian Tire, buy *another* pair of those ten dollar taillights, drill *another* set of holes, and mount them under the first set and wire the turn signals through those, and the brake lights through the first set.

Welp... There weren't any better ideas, so that's what we went with. To the strangely relevant tune of Stan Roger's Mary Ellen Carter (about a group of friends attempting to salvage a wrecked fishing boat) we worked for the next five hours on installing, uninstalling, drilling, hammering, wiring, testing, rewiring, testing, doing the "final" soldering, realising I messed up the wiring, cursing, desoldering, resoldering, and getting a splitting headache from extended exposure to solder fumes, we finally achieved the fruits of our labor.

They're cockeyed, they're misaligned, they completely destroy the bodylines of this machine, they don't have any provision for reverse lights. But...

Do they work?

Yes.

Are they legal?

Dubiously.

Are they better than no taillights at all?

Abso-fucking-lutly

I have a migraine from the solder fumes, my back is killing me, I'm soaked to the bone from working through worst squall I can remember, despite the tarp we were working under, and I think I'll see the Cantire automotive section in my nightmares tonight.

Needless to say, this is what I absolutely live for. I can't remember the last time I was happier with the way I spent a day. There's nothing better than solving stupid problems with even stupider solutions on a budget tighter than a straightjacket and actually making it work by some minor miracle. I can't wait to do it again

[astraldoesart]

Tis I. Fuck Fuckn. Or Fuckul-Fuckches

Fuckles Fuckonn

[aztecpragmatist]

Hercules? Honey, you mean FUCKules!!!

[stupidityismyjobsecurity]

*me, having finally harvested enough dopamine from tumblr to complete one (1) task*

*sees exactly the wrong post that punches me directly in the gut, fuckulating all of my chakras and yeeting me directly into The Void®*

*gives up on task entirely*

[blue-shaded]

Anthony Recenello the dating coach guy took down the video of him reacting to Jack and Gab. Congrat-fuckulations stannies you all bullied him into submission until he took down the video. He was judging by what he saw and gave his opinion but just because it was an opinion you stans didn’t want to hear you hate on him. Face it Gab is a boring piece of shite and Anthony is right Jack will eventually get sick of her. The JSE community respect all opinions my ass! And they call us haters.

What the hell Stannies be like : Negativity? BE EXILED. HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THE NAME OF OUR HOLY SACRED IRISH GOD. BANISHED. Listen stans, babes, Do you know what Sean ate for dinner last night? You’re so far up his ass you might aswell take a peek at that.

[coolyo294]

Won my first game of 9th by absolutely fuckulating my friends genestealer cult

[sarasa-cat]

On that whole low-grade virus bullshit meets prolonged barely-controlled migraine:

Digestion feels almost 100% normal today. I think the mild nausea signals are entirely a brain-dizziness thing because digestion now works and food doesn't sit like a lump in my stomach for hours and hours and hours and ugh that horrid feeling.

But my brain is still ... negotiating with mixed signals. I desperately want to play certain video games because I deserve it except, nope. Not safe. Cannot do that. Huge migraine trigger.

Meanwhile: freezing cold. Body is just coooold. SO cold. Shivering. So many layers and so cold.

Basic neurological functions are still fuckulated. But I am able to putter around the house and do things, quietly. Even word words.

[repurposedmeatlocker]

well if you shall accept it I'll keep recommending songs . Cosas Mias by Los Abuelos de la Nada is so so very absolutely fuckulent.

couldn’t listen all the way through | not my thing | it’s okay | kinda catchy | ok i really like this | downloading immediately | already in my library

[tartlette1968]

And predictably this complete fuckulence is growing by the hour.

Now the fuckwits are fleshing it out as they go. Passing from twit to twit and adding their own stupidity.

No fucking surprise.

we don't even know what is going on in Russia, right now. But yep, these POS conspiracy nuts drew this long bow.

[dilfsisko]

thievesguilding replied to your post: a self induced fuckor that extends to my friends 

@weordhmyndum fuckulent

FUCKULENT

[hawkeyethefuzzball]

Don't fuckul with Stufful