#FUCKING ROCKHOPPER IN CLUB PENGUIN ISLAND

[woven-song]

i think my least favorite part about club penguin island was the horrible mischaracterizations of all the mascots

jet pack guy is not a himbo, he's the penguin manifestation of james bond.

gary is not a stinky middle school nerd who gets his face flushed in the toilet, he's a physics teacher dad who's addicted to coffee, likes to blow shit up, and his favorite phrase would be "let's fuck around and find out."

cadence is not a boring ass pop star starbucks girl, she's an edm and dubstep breakdancer who drinks way too much soda and energy drinks.

herbert is not an old white guy who wants to build a resort, he's a scrungly orphan guy who wants to be warm and do it in the absolute worst ways possible.

[bingobongobingobongo]

THESE MOTHERFUCKERS HAVE THE SAME VOICE ACTOR I. HATE THIS INFORMATION

[garianna]

what’s the deal with garianna?: a theory post

so. gary the gadget guy. from club penguin. he has a couple of relatives. one of them is Garianna, a character revealed for the Medieval Party 2013.

her whole gimmick is being a witch! she’s cute. she designs and creates transformation potions. (she’s so trans coded; this isn’t the point of this post, but she’s so trans coded)

there’s also this guy, Scorn the Dragon King. he took over during the 2012 medieval party. his design fucks immensely.

what’s interesting is their backstory.

the “first” time he appeared, according to the club penguin comics, happened due to garianna messing up her dragon transformation potion

so what she DOES, three weeks later, is send a distress call to her future ancestor nephew in 2014, Gary T. Gadget Guy, where she talks about how very dearly sorry she is for her little fucky wucky

“My bad, by the way. So sorry. Cannot apologize enough for that.”

i love her

anyways, they get a bunch of gary the gadget guy ancestors and banish scorn away.

yeah yeah average deal. what’s weird is what happens afterwards, in general Club Penguin lore.

so, gary knew garianna existed in 2014, but what’s surprising is that he didn’t during 2013, when her spell book was found by Rockhopper on a “mysterious island.” gary knew about his other ancestors, Gariwald VIII (which isn’t odd, since he met him as a kid) and Garugg the Ugg Ugg. which, knowing about your prehistoric ancestor but NOT your medieval witch aunt? that’s odd, right?

in fact, her spell book was found outside of Club Penguin Island. which... is REALLY weird, since she lived in Club Penguin. for reference on why this is weird, we only know of two other penguins who’ve left the island: Rockhopper (who doesn’t live on CP) and Bambadee (who hid as a stowaway on his ship).

also notable, she’s the first instance of a penguin leaving the island that we know of. Rockhopper and Bambadee wouldn’t be born for millennia

so, despite gary having knowledge of previous ancestors, he was unaware of garianna’s existance, until her spell book was happened upon by rockhopper. why did garianna leave club penguin? why was her history not known to gary?

THEORY #1: Garianna was exiled

after accidentally unleashing Scorn the Dragon King, Ye Club Penguin was taken over by Scorn, specifically the Sky Kingdom. this is, by garianna’s account, a big oopsies.

what if, after Garianna unleashed Scorn, and she fixed her mistake by enlisting the Garys to help her and banish Scorn, she was exiled off the island?

my first thought was like, oh cmon, they don’t kick penguins off the island, Gary’s released like 15 evil robots and they still love him. but this was MEDIEVAL Club Penguin. since we don’t have any context for what happened after Scorn’s defeat, it’s certainly possible, and would explain why she left the island when so many people don’t.

alright now here’s the fun bullshit

THEORY #2: Garianna purposefully unleashed Scorn

this is where i go into AU territory, but its fun.

garianna’s remorse at unleashing scorn seems purposefully disingenuous, as if she’s being sarcastic. if she knew all along that her potion could unleash scorn, she could’ve done so willingly. why? that’s... the tricky part. maybe she just loves the chaos. maybe she wanted to work with scorn. OR, perhaps, this first incident was an accident, but after getting exiled from Ye Club Penguin, she changed, felt more bitter towards those who pretended to be her friends.

which explains how, in 2012, scorn escaped from his prison.

from the club penguin wiki:

In 2012, the dragon king Scorn escaped his well-deserved imprisonment in a dungeon and came back to Sky Kingdom to plot his evil revenge,

garianna was the one who sealed the banishment using her spell. if any penguin were to know where scorn ended up, it would be her. she makes a deal, to unleash scorn from his prisonment, as long as he destroys Club Penguin as payback for her unrighteous banishment.

“but this is in 2012,” you say, “garianna should be long dead by this point!” but who was the one penguin who knew how to send messages to the future in the first place? better yet, who was the penguin who already had her hands once on the Time Trekker 3000, one of the only penguins who would’ve been smart enough to combine the sciene with her magic, and create her own?

huh.

[fairydraws04]

What’re your headcanons for: Roofhowse, Jangrah, Blizzard, Sydmull, Lorna, and Polter-Gus? (I just love these kids too much it’s ridiculous)

okay, so these are just some headcannons I wrote on a club penguin discord server a few months back, and a lot of stuff got changed in the pitch, bu here are the headcannons anyways. 

Lorna

- 14 years old (Jangra is the oldest of the group)

 - theater dork 

- somehow related to cadence (that's how they can always get her to help them out with music stuff, lorna and cadence are like second cousins or something)

 - started card jitsu training when she was 11 because her parents didn't know how to get her to control her energy and they thought that would be the best way for her to get her energy out

- is probably the smartest and strongest of the group but nobody gives her credit for it because she's always just thought of as "the weird one"(edited)

Sydmull: - 13 years old (i hc that they're all teenagers)- nerd (i mean that's basically cannon)- 

looks up to gary and wants to be like him 

- eventually becomes an EPF agent not long after halloween panic (the third and final special) 

- is the youngest EPF agent so all the other agents try to look out for him

Roofhowse: 

- 14 years old 

- never actually knew his birth parents (or his birth parents were very abusive and that’s why he left)

 - spent the first 14 years old his life with his aunt and cousin (or with his abusive parents)

 - learned to sail on his own 

- left his home because he wanted new opportunities and friends (or to run away)

 - thinks of rockhopper as a father figure

Jangra:

 - 16 years old (the thing she said in we wish you a merry walrus about being the home owners association president or whatever, that's actually her older sister or her dad) 

- Serious OCD (i mean that's also basically cannon) 

- has an older sister who is 19 or 20 who she was always trying too be better then as a kid but always failed. that's why she tries to make everything perfect now. she wants her parents to be proud of her.

 - nicknamed the megalodon (monster beach party) mellow, she still thinks of them as a pet

Blizzard:- 15 years old

 - used to bully sydmull until jangra stood up to him 

- parents were never really there for him as a kid

 - thinks of gus as a cool relative who helps him not get into trouble (his parents don't give a fuck about gus)

- plays every sport on the island

Gus:

- treats Blizzard as if he was his son/is like a dad to blizzard

- was a penguin at one point but doesn’t remember it

[universallyfatal]

Rest in fucking pieces

I really enjoyed this game as a kid though…

I loved the secret missions and how you’d have to be really clever to figure it out. 

I loved Rockhopper and the shit he’d bring us on his journeys, along with the hollow excitement of meeting something that’s probably either a bot or a 35 year old moderator… Idgaf I liked to pretend that I was his daughter.

I loved the lore of the island, such as ninjas, golden and rainbow puffles, and tipping the iceburg (which ALL became true by the way…that was really cool of them to do).

I loved the shallow pursuit of being “rare” and meeting a Beta.

BY THE WAY AUNT ARCTIC IS THE HEAD OF THE EPF! Just in case it wasn’t obvious

My penguin was apparently almost 10 years old before they decided to murder me

Also I was really tempted to say fuck but I wanted to keep the goal 10 year old me set, which was to not ever get banned. I set the bar high.

I recently found that I wrote a Club Penguin fanfic 10 years ago about puffles….

[celestialriptide]

I started club penguin when it was just a baby of a thing. Back when it wasn't the best (but it was) and servers crashed and there was so little to do but it was something so New! It was exciting! I was there hours and hours a day for years, I watched every big milestone for the first six years it existed. I remember the first time club penguin got an update, something new. It was all so exciting. Before you could be a spy or ninja. Before the flood and before the avalanche. The first time we met Rockhopper!!! Was so exciting!!! I miss club penguin. Now where do I go when I feel nostalgic? Fucking poptropica? How many islands are there now like fifty? I remember when there was a grand total of one and no sign of a new one. I feel fucking old my childhood is dead.