#FUCK im theorizing i need to stop god this is so HARD im so many thoughts head full all the time!!!!

[digirainebow]

i am getting more and more nauseous with every dont look away video nss uploads

[jawllines]

Gang Harry blurb???

oKAY IM SORRY I FELL ASLEEP LAST NIGHT BUT YETH HERE SHE IS, THIS IS WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE TIME BETWEEN Y/N PASSING OUT IN THE CLUB AND WAKING UP IN THE HOSPITAL IN GANG HARRY! 

Harry has never felt such an immense, looming feeling of regret in his life. Like a two ton elephant sat on his chest, suffocating him, keeping him from relaxing at all. Though, even if it hadn’t been his fault, he doesn’t think he’d ever relax. Who could be when they’re rushing their person to the hospital, with a car full of her confused friends wondering what happened as Harry sits in the backseat, gnawing harshly at his lip. He answers none of their questions though, and he won’t for the time being, until he can conjure up a proper story that’s not, “I’m the leader of a gang, and your friend here accidentally got caught up in a ton of shit so now I’m keeping her at my safe house, and she pleaded with me to come out with you guys -- which I was reluctant to let happen in the first place -- but I caved, and we came out, and the man who has a bone to pick with me and subsequently her found her, grabbed hold of her, I saw and beat the shit out of the fucker, but when I turned around she was on the ground.”

That’d surely go over well, wouldn’t it?

So he just kept his mouth shut, letting them theorize as his heart was racing and his chest is twisting with a guilt he’s unable to describe. How could he let this happen? He should have gone with her, walked her to the bathroom despite what it might have looked like. Or better yet, he should have nixed the god damn idea of going out in the first place! But could he really have? That would be fucked -- he couldn’t keep her captive in that way. Couldn’t do that to her, not when she asked so nicely and seemed so excited when he had agreed. But he should have been more careful! God, should have had Grant and Dave scope out the place while Mark kept an eye on Y/N, or just planned it in a way much better than he had.

His thought loop stalls for a moment when they stop outside of bright red EMERGENCY room, and Harry wastes no time in running in. Stops at the front desk, rattles off who he’s here for, and nearly throws a proper fit when they tell him she’s not allowed visitors yet. “What the fuck do you mean she’s not allowed --”

But his phone rings before he can continue, brows furrowed as he stuffs his hand into his pocket to retrieve it, all but smashing it to his ear, “Listen, I don’t have any fucking time for --”

“Harry?” Nick’s voice rings out, “Harry is she okay? Grant called and told me what happened.”

Harry tries desperately to keep his cool, feels the threat of tears prickle at his eyes because despite being his boss, Nick is a few years older and a comforting figure that he can look to often, when things become too much. And right now they're too much -- way too much.

“Fuck, I don’t know Nick,” he walks from the desk, dragging himself to the nook with the vending machines, “I don’t know, she’s -- it’s my fault, innit? She’s never gonna want to see me again.” His voice feels close to wobbling, breathing out a heavy sigh and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it ferociously. Lets his forehead knock against the wall, letting a self-deprecating laugh huff from his chest, “How selfish of me, right? She’s in there unconscious and I’m concerned if she’s ever going to want to see me?” His brows dip in frustration, bumping his head against the wall again, “This is fucked, yeah?”

“Very fucked, Lovie, but listen to me,” he begins, “She’s going to be okay, yeah? Y/N’s a tough girl and a little bonk to the head won’t have her down for the count. And you know she won’t blame you, don’t you? She’ll hear you out.” Harry opens his mouth to tell him that there’s no bleeding way she’s going to even want to hear him speak probably because for all he knows these feelings are completely one-sided. . .Harry has no direct ties to her other than this, there’s no reason for her to want to stay -- but Nick keeps going, “I know you and I know you’re feeling guilt-stricken and think there’s no way she’ll want to speak with you, but if she’s been so understanding up to this point what makes you think she’s going to change tunes when she wakes up?”

Harry twists around, looking along the waiting room and seeing Y/N’s friends all sat in the chairs, looking to him like they’re expecting answers from him and for the first time in a long time Harry has an overwhelming urge to crawl beneath a damn rock. He’s face to face with the roughest, toughest, grizzliest people on a daily but the innocent confusion of his crush’s friend’s faces is enough to have him a damn nervous wreck. “Look, I have to go Nick,” he murmurs, “I’ll message you when I figure out what’s happening.”

He takes one more deep breath, pocketing his phone, straightening out his back and swallowing thickly as he makes his way towards them. They’re just college students. . .stupid college students, who would probably believe whatever bogus story that he fed them and he could only hope they don’t ask too many questions. He’s lied to people before -- has lied to police, to government officials, to opposing gangs and the likes of it. Had he been able to lie to Y/N? No, he hadn’t -- he’d cracked and told her everything at the first word of a question even though she was willing to drop it. So would it be the same with her friends? Did they all carry the same radiating charm that she did? Would he spill an entire load of his story, starting from why him and Y/N were spending so much time together and ending with why his father had pushed this job into his hands in the first place? Would they forbid her from seeing him ever again? Did her friends’ say have enough impact to actually sway her from seeing him?

“Harry,” Greta begins, and he braces himself, “Can I just say, you’re fucking amazing?”

Oh.

Oh?

“Wait, what?” Harry begins, brows dipping in confusion and Greta’s face lights up.

“You fucking rocked him! Right in the face, never seen a guy like that go down with two punches before,” she seems bewildered, giving these eyes that are so similar to Y/N’s -- those wide shocked ones that she gets when something excites her -- and his makes his heart hurt, twisting painfully, “You saved her I bet. She’s always picking fights with people twice her size. Should see her at a frat party when someone gets too handsy; a right devil when she needs to be.”

Adam doesn’t seem as starstruck by what had gone down, looking distraught with glossy eyes swimming with alcohol, popping his bitten nails from his mouth, “Can’t believe someone would just grab her like that. So scary -- m’never taking you lot out to a club again, they’re gross and sticky and have nothing but filth running amuck in there. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t even want to think about what could have happened.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Liam jumps in, “Is what I think they’re trying to say. Thank you for taking care of her.”

This doesn’t make him feel any better. Of course he’s glad that they aren’t trying to dig deeper in what had happened and had settled for Y/N just being a spitfire kind of girl, ready to pick a fight at a moments notice. However, they were thanking him when there was no reason to thank him. He was the one who’d gotten her into the mess, he deserved no thank yous at all.

“I can see why she’s always swooning over you.” Liam then notes and Adam swats him hard in the bicep.

“Shut up! Can’t go around telling her business --”

“But he’s not lying.” Greta notes, and Harry takes the seat from across them, sinking into the uncomfortable fabric chairs.

“Define swooning.” Harry encourages them to continue, his heart sparking, beginning to race.

Liam scoots forward, leaning in, “She’s absolutely head over heels for you,” he tells him, while Greta nods her head in agreement, “Gushes about you whenever she can; goes all starry-eyed when you’re mentioned and tonight -- tonight after seeing you guys together, it just confirmed that she’s gotten struck by cupid’s bow.”

“You feel the same don’t you?” Greta adds, wiggling closer, “You two are so cute together.”

Harry opens his mouth, but he doesn’t have anything to say. Thinks the smile that begins to worm onto his lips might be enough, with a small nod as he agrees. She likes him? Does she? Or are her friends just trying to pawn her off because they thought that she might like him?

He’s not sure of the specifics so he ignores them and decides that this feels too good to question right now.

It looks like there might be more they want to say but a woman walks up with a clipboard, standing before them, says that she’s looking for the group who are here for Y/N and when they all look up she continues, “She’s stable -- there’s no significant damage as of now yet besides a sprained ankle but everything else is fine as of right now.”

“Can we see her?” Harry asks, and the woman looks to him, shaking her head apologetically.

“She’s not awake yet, but visiting hours are over. You’re welcome to wait here but --”

“I’m her husband,” Harry says immediately, standing up, “And I’d like to stay in the room with her until she wakes, if that’s okay.”

She looks at him, brows furrowed, “Sir, I’ll need to see some identification --”

“He is!” Greta nearly shouts, “But Y/N’s new license hasn’t come in yet. All of us went to the wedding. A lovely ceremony, and amazing reception, we all got shit faced and I ended up grinding on his Aunt for the entirety of the Cha Cha slide, sadly -- we have all the pictures of it if you’re interested.”

The nurse still looks skeptical, but she doesn’t care enough to continue any further. “Okay,” she answers, “Follow me.”

And he does -- follows her to Y/N, who is hooked up to an IV with her leg propped up on a few pillows wrapped up in bandages. She looks too small in such a big hospital bed, and his heart wrenches in his chest. Tears beading up in his eyes all over again, as he thanks the nurse and takes his spot besides her. Sits there, wrapped up in all of his guilt, feeling like he’s drowning in it almost, the monitor beeping steadily, in great contrast with the speeding of his heart.

He’s there for a few hours before she begins stirring, a whimper drudging from her chest and he watches as her eyes blink open, looking around her, trying to figure out where she was, “Y/N?” her gaze falls to him, trickling from his face, down to his knuckles, and then a small frown pulls at her mouth, “What’s wrong Baby?”

“Your knuckles,” she answered, her voice all scratchy and deep, reaching for his hand and grazing her thumb over his knuckles that were bruised and bloodied, “You messed ‘em up again. Are you okay?”

Harry’s heart just about bursts.

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 11 (Epilogue 2 Page 3)