#FRY YOU UP WITH ONIONS AND MAKE A MEAT HAT OUT OF YOUR SKIN

[helloiamaustin]

I love to use my leg in day-to-day activities, like walking, skipping or jumping rope with my human friends.

It would be a shame if somebody specific packed up my leg in their briefcase and took it on the plane back to Europe with them IM LOOKING AT YOU BRIAN

GIVE IT BACK FUCKER

[avengerscompound]

Soup Weather

Soup Weather:  A Scarlet Witch Fanfic

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Wanda Maximoff x F!Reader

Word Count:  1303

Warnings:  Smut (Vaginal fingering)

Synopsis:  Wanda comes alive in the winter which makes it your favorite time of year.

Soup Weather

It was a cool crisp day.  Too early in the year for snow, but cold enough that you could wear a winter coat with a hat and gloves when you went outside.  Where any trip out had you return home with chilled cheeks and a numb nose.

Soup weather.

Which was nice because Wanda loved to make soup.

As soon as the weather cooled off if Wanda was at home she was making soup.  She always started with things that she cooked with her mother.  Sour soups that got their flavor from lemon or sauerkraut and were full of vegetables and meats. Sometimes chicken.  Sometimes it was herbed meatballs.  Sometimes it was mince stuffed into peppers.  They were always served hot and with love.  The kind of comfort food that the comfort comes not only from the way it warms you from the inside out but the way it fed your soul with the love she poured into it that had accumulated over generations.

As the season progresses she’d branch out through the rest of Europe Creamy potato soups from Germany.  Warm light consumes from France.  Chicken soups with noodles from Spain and thick pea and ham soups from the United Kingdom.

When she bored of Europe she’d venture into Asia where spice ruled the pot.  Red Lentil soups and Laksas and Phở.  The palate calming again when she reached China and Japan and turned to egg drop soup and dumpling soups, and ramen and miso.

She would do a journey through the world, and as she did, trips to markets became more regular as she searched for ingredients to use.  Small Asian greengrocers, and Russian Delis.  Large outdoor farmers markets and hipster specialty stores.

You would rug up in warm coats and hats and wrap each other in scarves before you left.  You would stay the whole time with your arms linked as you carried your reusable shopping bags, filling them with things on her list or just random things that took her fancy.  A selection of mushrooms and artisan goat’s cheese would make a mushroom soup with goats cheese crostini.  She’d use mini pumpkins and chestnuts to make a roast pumpkin and chestnut soup she’d serve in the pumpkin shell.

Soup season was special.  Wanda thrived in the cold weather.  She looked cute wrapped up in coats and wearing beanies.  She loved the built-in excuse to cuddle.  The way you didn’t try to roll away from her in bed because unlike in Summer, you needed the extra heat.  She loved spending time in the kitchen.  You loved seeing her smiling in the kitchen moving around the room as she added things to the pot on the cooktop.  You loved having her feed you spoons of warm, flavorful liquid to see if you liked it.  You loved how her cheeks and the tip of her nose turned pink from the cold.

That’s why when you stepped out into the street and realized you didn’t have a coat you weren’t annoyed.  You just moved a little quicker.  It had the dual effect of keeping you warm and getting you home sooner.

When you stepped through the door of your apartment you could smell cooking onions and meats with the spiced sour scent that told you she was cooking something from home.

You had expected to find her in the kitchen frying things off and adding stock to it but instead, she was curled up under a soft pink mink blanket, reading a book.

“Aww, no.  I missed prep.” You said, dumping your bag by the side of the couch

She looked up at you and smiled.  It was that smile that reminded you of a wood fire.  Warm and inviting.  “By a lot.  It’s in the slow cooker.  It’ll be done in an hour.  Is that all you were wearing?”

She was the perpetual mom.  The kind of person who just was one whether they had children or not.  Always worrying and wiping food crumbs off your face.  “I didn’t realize how much the temperature dropped.  I was okay when I left this morning.”

She lifted the blanket and patted the spot next to her.  “Come in here and warm up, you goose.”

“Did you just call me a goose?”  You asked as you kicked off your shoes and crawled up beside her so you were partially on top of her.  She wrapped the blanket around you and rubbed her nose against yours.

“You’re so cold.”  She whispered as she rubbed her hands briskly up and down your back.

“You should warm me up.”  You said with a suggestive tease to your voice.

“Why would I want those ice hands on me?”  She giggled.

“Hey, they’re my superpower.”  You said running them up under her sweater over her bare skin.  She shivered and flinched away from you until you reached her breast.  Even under the bra, the iciness of your fingers made her nipple harden and she moaned almost melodically against your ear.

“That’s not fair, and those aren’t superpowers.”  She whined.

“Tell that to my feet.”  You said pressing your socked feet against her calves.

She brought her face right up to yours, her eyes glittering.  “You are so lucky you are wearing socks or I would have tossed you across the room.”  She said before she brought her lips to yours.

You kissed slowly and deeply.  Lips caressing and tongues circling together.  You ran a hand up her skirt and between her legs. The heat from her body a stark contrast to the cold of your fingers.  She tensed and her muscles shivered as you moved your hand higher, stroking your fingers over her cunt.  The heat almost feeling like a furnace against you.

She moaned softly against your lips and she unbuttoned your pants and slipped her hand down into your panties.  You both moved like you were linked together.  Which might actually be true.  She always knew what you wanted, what you planned to do, how to curl her fingers just right to send pleasure coursing through your body and make you lose complete control.

As you ran your fingers in tight circles and random patterns on her clit, she did the same to you.  It felt almost like she was making the same patterns.  When you pushed two fingers into her cunt, the heat and wet squeezing around your digits, hers entered you too.  As you curled your fingers she curled hers and almost as if you were one you brought each other closer and closer to the edge.

Wanda broke the kiss, her head tilted back as she panted.

“God.  You’re so beautiful, Wanda.”  You said, completely breathless.  “I’m close.”

“I know you are.”  She said.  The husky breathless quality of her voice seemed to go straight to your core.

You kept fucking her with your fingers and she yours, each thrust and curl of your fingers pushing against your g-spot.

At once you both seized and came, burying your faces into each other’s necks.

Wanda pulled her hand from your pussy and licked her fingers clean, humming as she did.

“Taste good?”  You asked nipping at her lips.

“Yes, you naughty girl.  You always taste good to me.”

You smile and do the same with your fingers, sucking the salty tang of her pussy off your skin.  “You know what tastes good to me?”

“Me?”  She asked, teasing her lips over yours.

You gently brushed your lips over hers humming.  “Yes, but I was talking about the soup.”

She started giggling and swatted at your ass.  “You are a bad girl and bad girls don’t get delicious soup.”

Your laughter joined hers and you nuzzled in against her pulling the blanket up tightly around you both.  “No, bad girls get much better things.”  You hummed.

[queenofthearchitect]

Victim part 1

A/N: I swear more fics are coming, I’m just trying to figure out how I want them to start off and how the plot should go. I’ve been slacking and I’m sorry so please forgive me.

Summary: Ashely moved to Davenport Iowa to get a new view on life from her recent one in Florida, but what happens when she falls for a guy and he’s not what he made himself out to be? Well read and find out.

Warnings: cussing, stalking, violence, blood, sex.

A/A/N: I know it’s not October but I love Horror /Thriller so I decided to write this. I’m going to start writing them every two months.

Word count: 8,673

Tagging: @the-beastslayers-queen @moshsafely @sassyspacedust @xprincessofthefallenangels @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @ilovedisney116 @feathers-and-flesh-and-wrestling

Please enjoy 🧚🏼‍♀️

Moving from Florida to Iowa was definitely a whole climate change, sunny to mostly snow was a whole 360 degrees and it would take time to adapt. I had finally gotten settled into my new house after two weeks of being here, I was on my way to get some food for the house. I heard police sirens and I looked in my rear view mirror and sure enough there was a cop car “son of a bitch.” I said out loud and I pulled over and I rolled down my window and I got my license and registration out.

“Great Ashely haven’t even been here for a month and already got the police on you.” I thought to myself while he was walking up to my car. I turned my radio down and I looked out my window waiting for him, I fixed my boobs and smiled he stopped at my window and I gulped. “good afternoon officer… Lopez.” He took his hat off letting his long brown locks fall to his shoulders, I admired his hair and my eyes took in his presence his muscular arms right against his shirt sleeves.

“Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?” He looked me right in my eyes, it felt like he was looking into my soul. shook my head and I smile “N-no I just moved here two weeks ago and I’m still trying to get settled.” I gave him a nice respectful smile and he just frowned at me “I couldn’t care if you moved in yesterday ma’am laws are laws.” My smile slowly dropped some and I gave him my license and registration he took it from me and walked back to his car to run my name and stuff.

I watched him walk away out of my rear view mirror, I watched his toned ass rub against his pants, I rubbed my thighs together and I bit my lip. “Get a hold of yourself Ashely he’s just a guy.” I sighed and mumble to myself I saw his badge reflect into the mirror and I cleared my throat and I looked back out the window. I looked at him “so what did you pull me over for?” He looked at me and then at his ticket pad “you were going 5 miles over the speed limit.” I let out a dry laugh “your kidding right, you’re literally giving me a ticket for going 5 miles over the speed limit.”

He looked at me while he gave me a eat shit smirk. “yes ma’am like I said before laws are laws.” I huffed and waited for him to give me my ticket but he kept writing. “You can’t just give me a warning?” He let out a sigh “no but you probably can’t comprehend that with all the alcohol you’ve consumed while you were in Florida.” My stomach dropped, tears brimmed my eyes, he looked up with a smirk proud that he finally got me to shut up when he saw my face his smile dropped.

“Look I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that, it’s just sometimes I let me job give me a big head I’m Colby.” I smiled at him softly, and I shook his hand. “Names Ashely but I guess you knew that.” He smiled at me, he too my hand and shook it his rough hand grabbed my soft hand and he shook it. “maybe I can take you to get some coffee to make up for me being a dick.” I nodded “yeah here’s my number and here’s my address.” I quickly wrote down my number and my address, he tore up the ticket and stuck it in his back pocket. “You have a great day Ashely.” I smiled and waved him off “you too officer Lopez.” He turned and smiled at me “please just Colby.”

I smiled and I whispered to myself “okay Colby.” I watched him drive off, I had forgot what I was out for until my stomach growled. I had walked into the store with a big shopping cart, I grabbed bread, ice cream, hot pockets, hamburger meat, cheese, Philly cheesesteak bread, green peppers, onions, milk, yogurt, and finally two bottles of wine. I paid and put my groceries in my trunk, I sung along with my radio while I was driving home. I finally reached my house, I got out my car and I put the groceries up and I locked my car, I walked inside and I locked my door and armed my alarm system.

I washed the meat and the green peppers, I chopped the green peppers and onion up. I cooked them in the frying pan and then I cooked the meat, I seasoned it while it was cooking. after they were done I put them on the bread, I put cheese on them and threw them in the oven to toast the bread. I was humming along to a song I heard on the radio when there was a knock at my door, I raised an eyebrow at the noise I was expecting anyone over at 8:30 at night. I hummed the song and I looked out my curtain on the windows beside the door.

I smiled when I seen my next door neighbor May, I quickly opened the door and smiled at her. “Hey May what’s up, didn’t expect you over here.” She smiled at me and hugged me “nothing much just wanted to talk can I come in?” I smiled at her and I stepped aside. “Sure come on in.” She walked in and I shut the door behind her. “What’s up?” She turned and looked at me “nothing really just trying to see how you liked it here.” I let out a sigh. “I mean it’s okay I got pulled over today but he was nice after he realized her hurt my feelings.” She raised an eyebrow at me “wait what you got pulled over today, for what?�� I laughed thinking about it again.

“For going 5 miles over the speed limit.” She rolled her eyes “oh let me guess Colby pulled you over?” I looked at her confused “yeah how did you know?” She scoffed “I grew up with him, he’s always been a dick.” I let out a chuckled and I pushed my red curly hair out my face. “You can say that again, he also invited me out to coffee.” Her eyes widened and had a serious look on her face. “You can’t go out with him, he’s a little bit crazy.” I let out a laugh but when I saw she was serious I stopped laughing “Amy come on that’s not nice we are all a little crazy.” She looked at me and shook her head.

“No he’s the bad crazy.” Before I could ask her anything else she walked to my front door and opened it and there he was, when I looked at Amy she looked like she seen a ghost and he just smiled at her “hey Amy how are you doing tonight?” She ducked under him, while she walked away she looked at me then him “see you later Ashely and it is Colby have a great night.” He waved her off and called out to her “you too Amy be safe.” He turned back to me with a smile on his face. “Hey I was going to wait until tomorrow to see you but I thought why not tonight, you don’t mind do you?”

I smiled at him “No not at all come in, I just finished dinner you can eat some if you’d like.” He smiled at me and walked in my house. “Wow your really clean.” I blushed lightly “awe thanks so much that means a lot, I usually don’t let people come here so it’s safer but me but I’m a town like this what’s the worse that can happen?” He looked at me and his stomach growled but he blushed at the noise his stomach made “I’m sorry that's the one part of my body and that doesn’t listen to me, well my stomach and um my…” He gestured down I quickly caught on, I let out a laugh. “Wow, such a gentleman.” I teased and he laughed.

***

Colby had left about an hour and I sat at my paino, I had a glass of wine in hand and I started playing if I ain’t got you by Alicia Keyes and I started singing it. After the song I got up and I walked to my lap top and started writing my new thriller Victim. I was about three glasses in, while I was typing away at my laptop and I heard a knock at my door. I sighed and I got up walking towards the front door, I opened the door and I look around and no one was there. I shut my door and I walked back to my lap top and I started writing away.

About twenty minutes later I heard something tap my window and I felt like some one was watching me so I grabbed my laptop, I quickly got up, made sure everything was locked. After I did I turned all the lights off, I slowly walked upstairs to my room. I sat my lap top on the bed, I walked to the bathtub. I turned the water on my phone went off I jumped out of my skin my heart started racing. I decided to wait to look at it I washed and I got out I sat on my bed, I brought the glass of wine to my lips, my phone reminded me I got a message and I looked at it and it said unknown.

Unknown: that red robe looks great on you….

A/N: thanks so much for reading part one I hope y’all liked it keep a watch for part 2 sorry this is so long. Sorry if there are errors wrote this from 1-3 am lol 🙈

[peckhampeculiar]

Delicious dolma

VESTRY ROAD FAVOURITE NANDINE IS OPENING ITS SECOND RESTAURANT ON CAMBERWELL CHURCH STREET IN APRIL. 

Ahead of the launch, the Kurdish kitchen – which also runs fast-food kiosks in Peckham Levels and Elephant & Castle – shares the recipe for its epic dolma

WORDS: PARY BABAN

METHOD

WE BEGIN by cooking the lamb. Place a large, thick pan over a medium heat and add one tablespoon of oil. Place the lamb in the pan. The colour we’re looking for is a golden brown (this may take up to 3-5 minutes). Once this has been achieved, sprinkle some salt to taste, remove the meat from the pan and set aside.

NEXT UP... the vegetables. Make sure you’ve rinsed them all, then place them aside for just a moment. Let’s prepare the shallots first. We do this by cutting both the top and bottom off, along with the skin. Now, gently cut a long line across one side of the shallot, ensuring that you reach the core, but don’t cut all the way through. Once you’ve repeated these steps with the rest of the shallots, place them in hot water for 3-4 minutes. Be careful not to cook them too thoroughly or else they will start to open up. This process is called blanching.

REMOVE THE SHALLOTS from the hot water and give them a cool rinse, then carefully separate the layers of the shallot using your fingers and place them aside.

LET’S MOVE ON TO our courgettes and aubergines. Cut them directly in half and scoop out the flesh (this is where we put our stuffing). Tip: if you’re vegetarian, keep the scooped flesh to add to your stuffing as an alternative to lamb meat.

ONCE YOU’VE DONE THIS, coat the insides of your aubergines and courgettes with some salt and fresh lemon juice. This will prevent any discolouration to exposed vegetables.

NEXT UP, TOMATO PREPPING! Cut a hat off four tomatoes and scoop out the flesh to form a fillable centre. Tip: try to keep the top of the tomato attached, as only by closing the “lid” will we guarantee that all those exciting flavours are kept trapped.

REPEAT with the bell peppers.

NOW FOR THE CHARD. Cut off the stalks and blanch the leftover chard over a medium heat for 3-4 minutes. Then, bathe them in cool water to stop the cooking process.

IT’S FINALLY TIME to prepare the stuffing! Rinse your rice in any temperature of water, then drain the excess water. Put the rice in a large bowl and season generously with fresh lemon juice, sumac, black pepper, turmeric, cumin and salt. Finely chop the celery leaves, dill and parsley and add to the rice. Mix this well and set aside.

WHILE THE RICE MARINATES, we can start to prepare the rest of the ingredients for the stuffing. Using the same pan we used to sear the lamb, dice one onion and add this to the hot oil. Next, add your tomato purée followed by one finely chopped tomato. If you like, you can also add some fresh herbs to taste. Fry this batch for at least 4 minutes and add it to your rice mixture. The next steps are where your large, deep pan will come in handy!

FIRSTLY, PLACE THE CHARD STALKS and fresh long broad beans at the bottom of the pan, followed by the lamb. Using the stuffing we created in the previous step, start to stuff your shallot layers, as these need more cooking time than the vegetables.

TO STUFF, put roughly a teaspoon of the rice mixture in the shallot layer, and to seal, simply roll it. Tip: a little goes a long way – try not to overstuff your vegetables. Repeat this step with the rest of your vegetables, sealing the “lids” onto the tomatoes and bell peppers.

ONCE ALL YOUR VEGETABLES ARE STUFFED, it is time to assemble the pan. Tightly pack the veggies on top of the lamb ribs that you’ve placed in the pan previously and repeat in a layered motion.

PLACE THE CHARD LEAVES onto your work surface and begin to stuff these in a rolling motion. These go on top of the dish.

THIS STEP MAY BE COMPLICATED, but practice makes perfect! Once you’ve rolled all of the remaining chard leaves, place them on top of the veggie-filled pan and add a large, flat plate on top. The weight ensures even cooking.

ADD ONE LITRE OF WATER TO THE PAN. To check if it’s enough, see if it covers the plate.

TRADITIONALLY, we would use a flagstone to place on-top instead of a plate, to prevent the leaves and vegetables from opening and releasing the flavours.

PLACE THE PAN ON THE STOVE over a medium-high heat, bringing it to a boil for 30 to 40 minutes. Make sure to check on it a couple of times, keeping a special eye out for the water level.

HALFWAY THROUGH THE COOKING PROCESS, remove the plate from the pan. Take care as it will be extremely hot. To check if the rice is fully cooked, take a piece out and give it a try. If it’s still dense, add some more water and allow it to simmer for around 5 more minutes.

FINALLY, SET UP THE DINING TABLE! Prepare some salad and serve traditional yoghurt beverages. To serve the dish, place a large serving plate on top of the pan and sharply flip the dolma over to present the colour and flavour.

MORE TIPS

TRADITIONALLY, sumac berries are used in dolma to add a sour flavour and pop of colour, but this step is optional as some people may not appreciate the taste as much.

THE MEAT STEP is completely optional, so feel free to remove it and create a vegan/vegetarian alternative.

PREP TIME: 30-40 minutes

COOKING TIME: 40 minutes

SERVES: 4-7 people

INGREDIENTS

5 tbsp vegetable oil

500g lamb ribs or chops (optional)

2-3 long shallots or brown onions

2 long courgettes

2 long aubergines

Juice of 1 fresh lemon

4 small tomatoes

3 small green bell peppers or green chillies

3 bunches of fresh Swiss chard

2½ cups of short-grain rice or jasmine rice, soaked in water for 15 minutes then drained

2 tbsp ground sumac

1 tsp ground black pepper

2 tsp turmeric powder

½ tbsp cumin powder

1 large bunch of flat-leaf celery, chopped

1 bunch of fresh dill, washed and chopped

1 large bunch of parsley

1 onion, diced

3 tbsp of tomato purée

1 tomato, finely chopped

1kg green broad beans

½ tsp salt (this may vary depending on your taste)

1 litre warm water