#FREE THEM THANGS BOY

[cottoncandyswisherz]

working at the pyramid

this is long a fuck for no reason so its small font lol

softdom!chris x stripper!reader

warnings: smut, unprotected sex (double wrap w aluminum foil) p in v, oral, (male receiving) pole dancing

-

the club is dark. all lights are off and the only thing you can hear is jay, our dj, yelling into the mic. 

"okay fellas, its saturday, you know what that means. its time for our favorite girl to do her thangs. make some noise for our money maker, our heart breaker, MISS CLEOOOO!" 

and the crowd goes wild.

the music starts and i strut onto the stage, in character. 

the projector displays a burning sun behind me, the lights shines a dark orange. this is my time to shine. all these men are here watching me with hungry eyes and i'm about to feed them. 

laying with my back on the ground i wait for my cue. 

wake up to your girl for now lets call her cleopatra i watch you fix your hair then put your panties on in the mirror, cleopatra

i arch my back and pull at my hair. then your lipstick, cleopatra then your six-inch heels, catch her she's headed to the pyramid

i roll over onto my stomach and stretch my arms in front of me, kicking my feet slowly, making eye contact with some shmuck in to crowd before turning back on my back.

she's working at the pyramid tonight

the beat drops and it begins. 

grabbing the back of my heels i raise my hips in a kegel position and grind my hips slowly in the air.

then i raise my butt all the way in the air, holding myself up and bring my knees together and twirl them before straightening one and pointing my toes over my head. keeping my legs in that position i slowly bring them down

pimpin in my convos bubbles in my champagne let it be some jazz playin top floor hotel suite twisting my cigars floor model tv with the vcr

back on my stomach i slowly bring myself on all fours and dramatically throw my head back, allowing my hair to fall down my arched back. 

got rubies in my damn chain whip aint got no gas tank but it still got woodgrain

i get on my feet and bounce before standing all the way up

got your girl working for me hit the strip and my bills paid that keep my bills paid hit the strip and my bills paid keep a nigga bills paid

prancing to the pole, i lock eyes with a white boy. like everyone else, he's got a shit eating grin on his face. but unlike everyone else, he doesn't throw 1's on the stage. he throws a flurry of 20's. 

i grab the pole and saunter around it twice, then press my back against it and grind again. 

time to climb this bitch. 

she's working and the pyramid tonight

i turn around and step around the pole before swinging and wrapping my legs around it tilt my head back and now i'm spinning, as the pole rotates. i do my tricks and shit, giving them the show they want.

keeping my grip, the pole stops and throw my head all the way back, allowing myself to be upside down. only for a second though because i place my hands on the floor and flip into a split as the beat drops again. 

the men go insane, and i'm showered in bills. 

you showed up after work, i'm bathin your body touch you in places only i know you're wet and you're warm just like our bathwater can we make love before you go

i grind to the beat in various positions, before bringing myself back to pole, placing it between my heel and shoe so i can limp all the way to the top. 

once i'm there i hook one leg around the pole and drop my head. upside down once again. i spread my arms out and spin. 

shouting and money flying once again. 

the way you say my name makes me feel like i'm that nigga but i'm still unemployed you say it's big but you take it ride cowgirl

after a few seconds, i bring my body back up right and slide down. with my legs under me, i move my hips, so it looks like i'm riding

but your love ain't free no more baby but your love ain't free no more

then i fall back so i'm laying on my back, like before i started. 

she's working at the pyramid she's working at the pyramid tonight

and the lights shut off. 

just like that, i move off the stage and go to my dresser and drink some water. 

5 minutes go by and i've caught my breath. thomas, another employee comes in with my earnings from tonight. but i don't have time to count it, so i put the bag in my locker and go out to work the floor. 

a few of my regulars make their usual requests and soon i'm $150 richer. i walk over to the bar and ask for a lemonade and while i'm waiting a hand taps my shoulder. 

"i'm on break. " i mutter in an agitated tone, not bothering to turn around. 

"i'll pay double." 

and just like that, I GOT MOTION!

i turn around and see the white boy from earlier. 

with a seductive grin, i shake my head. "go find a seat on the floor and i'll come find you after my drink."

"the floor?" white boy turns around and looks at the room, full of idiots. "no, i want a private room." 

"those are 150 an hour..."

"where do i pay?"

is he for real...

"usually people who want them have a group."

"just me."

wow.

"you pay up front." he pulled his phone out.

"you guys take apple pay?"

i was flabbergasted. "uh... yeah i think so."

"great. you finish your drink and i'll come get you when everything is paid for."

-

20 minutes later i'm stepping into a private room. 

"you can play whatever music you want. i can dance to pretty much anything."

this is so fucking awkward by myself. usually there like 5 of us in here with an equal amount of guys. 

but he won't see me sweat. 

"anything?"

"yup."

he pulls his phone out, connecting to the bluetooth. 

"okay you better be telling the truth." he begins searching for a song. 

he plays the fucking macarena. 

"be so fucking for real." i fight back a smile. "i'm half naked and you want me to do the macarena?"

"hey you said you can dance to anything." he chuckles, putting his hands up. he has a small duffel bag next to him. i can just smell the money in it. 

fuck it. i think then begin the dance. 

money falls at my feet as i do the routine and laugh. 

soon the song is over and a new one starts. 

this one slower.

i start with a little floor routine that ends with me on my knees, so i can crawl over to him.

placing  my hands on his thighs, i lift myself up and turn around so my ass is right in his face and i dance, dropping and coming back up. 

i felt his hands grip my waist, and usually, clients aren't allowed to touch us, but this ones fine as a motherfucker so i'll allow it. 

he pulls me down so i'm sitting in his lap, my back to his chest. i move my hips on him and he turns my head to the side so i'm kinda looking at him. then his hand grabs my neck and his other one drops 20's. 

the bills fall down my body and land in my lap and it's the hottest thing i've ever encountered. 

with a smile, i turn around so i'm straddling him and grind some more. i feel his erection on my clit through his shorts and it makes my pussy flood. 

if i keep looking in his eyes i'm gonna cum. so i look at the wall to distract myself. but that doesn't work because he grips my jaw and forces me to look at him. 

"eyes on me mama."

fuck. 

now we're locked in. eyes trapped in each other. i can't escape. 

but i have to. 

so place his hands on my hips and lean back, so my back is arched. 

i thought this would help. 

it didn't. 

one of his hands spreads on my belly and reaches up my front, his large hand on my chest. 

i come back up and decide no physical contact was the solution. 

so i get up and begin another floor routine.

he stands up and walks over to me, looking in my eyes a-fucking-gain so i turn around and dance until his hand is on my hips again with his other one the back of my neck, bending me over. 

and now we're lowkey dry humping. 

shit. 

standing up right again, i turn around and take a step back. 

i can't fuck him. i'll lose my job. i'll lose my dignity. 

"we can't-"

the motion is swift when he tugs me towards him and my body collides with his. my hands automatically come up and land against his chest, and my eyes fall shut. 

my fingers spread out, trying to feel as much of him as i can. 

his lips brush against my ear. "tell me to stop, cleo. tell me to stop, and i will."

i pull my head back enough to look at him and think. 

i have two options. 

1. walk out and do my job like nothing happened with the worst case of blue ovaries i've ever had. 

or 

2. fuck this man and walk out and do my job like nothing happened having had what i hope will be the best orgasm i've ever had.

i don't know about you but option two seems like the obvious choice. 

"i don't want you to stop." 

his fingers grip me tighter.

"you want me to fuck you?" 

my breath hitches and i slowly nod my head. 

"my name's chris. say 'yes, chris.'"

my thighs clench as i feel my pussy flood again. "yes, chris."

a sound leaves his mouth, then its pressing against mine.

i melt into the kiss. his full lips slanting over mine, demanding them to open. 

i try to focus. i try to remember who i am and that i'm a badass who refuses to submit to a stranger. i try to focus, but there's a lightening storm going off inside my body and i can't hold onto a single bolt. 

my arms wrap around the back of his neck, anchoring him to me. 

chris' large hands move up my side, the heat of them seeping through my skin and putting my body on fire. keeping the tips of his fingers against my ribs, he spreads his grip out until his thumbs trace along the underside of my tits. 

i lean into the touch. the press of his body against mine is divine torture. but then he's gone. 

his hands leave my sides at the same time his mouth leave mine. 

my eyes blink open, but instead of finding his gaze on mine, i find his hooded eyes focused on my chest. 

with slow movements, chris reaches behind me and unclips the bra i'm wearing. it falls at my feet. 

chris tongue slides across his lower lips as he eyes my pierced nipples. he uses his thumbs to rub over each one, the buds tightening and i can no longer stay quiet. 

letting out a whimper of appreciation, i raise my arms and grip his white tee. 

"fuck." he groans the words as he palms my breasts, leaving my nipples exposed between his thumb and index finger. "fuck." he says again, dipping down and taking one small barbell into his mouth. 

"oh god.." i groan, my fingers leave his sides and dig into his hair.

this isn't the first time someone has played with the piercings but with him, its so much better.

he tugs and pulls at my other nipple and i'm so needy, i'm ready burst.

"chris." i pant. "please, chris."

letting my breast pop free, chris stands back to his full height. 

my hands reach for the string of his sweat shorts, undoing the knot and tugging them down. 

dark, tight briefs are all that stand between his cock and my hands and i tug those down too until his erection bobs free. 

of course it's perfect in every fucking way. 

my fingers wrap around his length, gliding up and down. chris' hand closes over mine and squeezes, forcing me to grip him tighter. 

freak ass. 

"take off your panties." he squeezes my hand once more before releasing his grip.

letting go of him, i shimmy out of my thong.

chris strokes himself while saying, "gimme a spin."

i smirk and slowly twirl around, making a show of it, moving my hips to the music that's still playing. 

"you're fucking perfect." then he's stepping to me, lifting me, and walking me to the bar in the corner of the room. the surface has bottles and glasses on it, so i'm half on the bar and afraid of sliding off in a heap of embarrassment. 

but then chris is using his hands to spread my thighs and when he steps between them, all thoughts other than him leave my body.

my hands grab ahold of the bottom of his shirt and pull until he chest is naked in front of me. 

at this point i'm beyond wet. i should be embarrassed considering the fact that he hasn't even touched my pussy yet, but the look on his face is pure hunger. 

he taps my thigh and lets out a command. "wider."

i press my thighs open further.

chris runs the tip of his dick up the length of my pussy. "please tell me you're on the pill."

red flags wave in my peripheral. i should stop this. i don't know him. there are worries beyond pregnancy. this man is a fucking stranger.

but instead of being smart, i nod. 

chris growls gripping the base of his cock lining it up with my more than ready entrance. the hand not on his dick runs up  my side, squeezing my breast, pinching my nipple then gripping the base of my neck. 

he presses his lips against mine while pressing into me. 

his tongue shoves into my mouth and i'm filled with him. 

all i can feel his him. 

all i can taste, all i can hear, all i can smell is chris. 

i was bracing for a quick thrust. but this... this is slow.

i arch. i writhe. i moan. 

with both hands on my ass now, chris pulls me forward, so i feel all of him. he picks up his speed. pulling out, slamming in. over and over. 

his hands are everywhere now, tugging on my piercings, gripping my ass, feeling all the skin he can. 

"chris!" i cry out, feeling my orgasm approaching. 

"that's it." he moans into my mouth.

and thumb presses on my clit and i jolt in surprise. 

"oh fuck-" my head falls back.

he circles my clit, faster and faster, pressing harder and harder. 

"eyes on me mama." he demands. my eyes flutter open and find his. "good girl." his fingers don't stop.

"i'm gonna cum."

"that's right ma. cum for me."

that was the last piece of the puzzle. 

i shatter around him, shaking and convulsing.

"yes, chris. fuck! thank you. oh my god thank you-"

i'm a mess. from one fucking orgasm. 

removing his hand from my clit, chris steps back and pulls out of me, my body arching towards his, trying to keep the contact. 

he lifts me off the bar and sets me down in front of him. my legs are like jelly so i'm relieved when i hear him say "on your knees, cleo."

that fucking name. he's just took me to mars so i guess he can know my government. "my names y/n."

a smile spreads across his face as he presses a kiss to my lips and slides his had to my jaw. "on your knees, y/n."

i comply, dropping down in front of him. he drags his thumb across my lips. "open up." my mouth opens wide and allowing him to guide his cock between my lips. 

i close my mouth around him, sucking his length and it's like all his self control flies away. 

he gathers my hair into a ponytail and presses in deeper. 

"i wanna fill you up." 

please.

he pulls back and thrusts deeper into me until i feel him in the back of my throat. 

"i wanna watch my cum dripping out of that pretty pussy." 

fuck.

"i wanna cum all over your piercings."

jesus fucking christ.

"but you gotta go back to work."

WHAT?

he pulls all the way out, letting me breathe.

"let me back in." he says 

i open my mouth and hes back, deep in my throat. "that's my good fucking girl." he groans out and throws his head back. 

i let out a moan at the praise and his whole body shakes. 

"fuuuuuuuck.." his grip on my hair tightens and he looks down at me. 

he picks up the speed of his thrusts and fucks my face with so much force i have to lean back and put my weight on my hands to stable myself. 

i feel him twitch in my mouth and he goes to pull back but i wrap my hand around the back of his thigh and move my lips to his tip, sucking. his eyes cross and his load shoots into my mouth.

chris pulls me up by the ponytail and brings my lips to his in a kiss. this one was softer, but just as passionate. 

pulling aways he says "you know i have to see you again right?" 

"i'd like that." i whisper. 

"good girl."

niyah speaks 2930 words dawg. sorry i've been MIA. me and my boyfriend broke up lol. but uhhh im backkkkk

taglist: @mattslolita @mattssluttygf @muwapsturniolo @chaossturns

[filmbyjy]

‘kissing them just to see their reaction’

pairing: enhypen x fem!reader

summary: you and the boys are best friends and well, you wanted to see how kissing them would go.

warning: on jake’s part it’s a little suggestive so umm proceed with caution.

NOTE: saurr i’ve opened up my request box so feel free to request any headcannons or even imagines!

lee heeseung

side note: he looks small here😭😭

you and heeseung were hanging out peacefully in your living room. he was busy trying to beat the shit out of people in ‘call of duty’ so you were just left there scrolling on your phone. then a certain video comes on your ‘for you’ page.

the video was about two best friends and the girl best friend kissed the guy best friend to see his reaction. you fell into that pit of watching a lot of similar ones and so you looked up from your phone to peak up at heeseung.

he was busy furiously clicking on the buttons of the controller. you weren’t stupid, you knew your best friend was hot. he was every quality every girl wanted in a man and that included you. however, you knew heeseung didn’t like you that way. especially not when he didn’t show any signs of possibly liking you as more than a friend.

which is why you never made an effort to woo him but something tells you maybe you should give this challenge a try. you wanted to see how he’d react. besides, it can only go two ways. knowing heeseung, he’d either kiss you back or possibly sit there looking shocked with his widened bambi eyes before he shyly stutters and asks why you kissed him before admitting he doesn’t like you that way.

you hoped for the latter because although seeing the boy adorably get flustered, you weren’t ready to get rejected. taking this risk meant you’d be crossing a line between being more than friends. you sighed. heeseung takes notice, he pauses the game and turns to you.

“hey, what’s wrong?”

“nothing.”

he nods before walking over to where you sat, “but I also know that if you say nothing then something is wrong. tell me what’s in that amazing mind of yours?”

“well…”

should you take the risk? you looked straight into heeseung’s eyes. he tilts his head waiting for you to say what you wanted. which you don’t because you just went for it and gave him a peck on the lips. he did his bambi eyes just like you predicted. is he going to reject you? you can’t look at this, you stared down at your hand and nervously played with it.

“sorry, i shouldn’t have done that. i just saw a tiktok about two best friends kissing and i just wanted to see your reaction. i crossed the line, didn’t I?”

what you didn’t expect was for heeseung to place a finger under your chin and tilt your head up. he places a delicate kiss on your lips, it was short and sweet.

“i’ve always wanted to do that.” heeseung whispers once he pulls away.

“you did?”

“i’ve had a crush on you for a while now but I was scared you didn’t like me in that way.”

“heeseung. we are both idiots.” he places his forehead against yours and shuts his eyes. you shut your eyes too to bask in each other’s embrace.

“yeah, we are.”

park jongseong

a/n: let me introduce you to some new thangs. get it cause ‘kick it’. ehem I’ll see myself out.

bless your soul, you have no idea how you managed to even be friends with this greek god of a man. who did you save in your past life to even get such treatment?

okay but enough with that. it was the start of the world tour period and so you decided to travel to Seoul to watch his concert. both you and jay had been childhood friends before he moved to Seoul to pursue his dreams of becoming an idol. it was sad because you missed him a lot. however, you realised would jay even remember you? what if he forgot about you?

you didn't have much thought as you were already on the way to the concert. you had special access as jay's mom had requested it when bang pd had invited them. you realised that it had been 11 years since you've last seen him. what was surprising was that he pulled you into a hug backstage when you joined his parents.

"i missed you." he muttered. you felt your heart race.

since you had a term break for your university, you decided to spend it in seoul for a few days. hence, you were staying with jay's parents for a short while before you flew back to seattle. so far they treated you with so much care and you felt loved. the next day after the concert, jay had gone over to his parent's house. it was his day off before he had to go on tour so he wanted to spend it with you.

"brought some snacks." jay holds up a plastic bag full of snacks. you smiled. he lets himself in and shuts the door behind. the both of you falling into a deep conversation whilst catching up with each other. jay kept rambling about i-land, about the boys, about the idol life etc.

it came to the point where you really wanted to see what would happen if you just possibly kiss him to see how he would react. which you stupidly did so. just one tiny peck on the lips. jay stops talking. his eyes were widened, his jaw dropped at how shocked he was.

“umm continue.” you say shyly. you were already blushing hard, your ears turning even more red by the second. jay gets over the initial shock, a smirk plastered onto his lips (which was hiding how much he was flustered)

“you like me don’t you?” jay teases.

“jay, can we not talk about it?”

“why not? didn’t like kissing me at all?” he pouts.

“jay, please. drop this subject, I’ve already embarrassed myself enough. moreover, I don’t expect you to like me back so-”

“who said I didn’t like you back?” jay says.

“huh?” jay didn’t say much because the next thing he does was pull you into a loving kiss.

sim jaeyun

note: jake is not an idol here, just a normal aussie boy :)

it was a hot day, jake invited you to go swimming since he had a swimming pool in his backyard.

“you can change in my bedroom, I’ll change in the bathroom since I need to take off my, you know, underwear.”

“YOU GO SWIMMING WITHOUT YOUR UNDERWEAR???” you gasp.

“(name), the swimming trunks have an underwear inside. why would I wear another underwear over it. it’s uncomfortable.” (he was lying there was no underwear in those swim trunks, he went commando and is a free man)

“well, how am I supposed to know there was already an underwear inside. i’m not a guy.”

“yeah, I know. you walk around in your scandalous bikini set.”

“ITS NOT SCANDALOUS, JAEYUN.”

10 minutes later, both you and jake were in the pool. swimming around and enjoying the cool water. until jake decided to go full on wwe on you and tried to tackle you.

“jaeyun!” you fell straight into the water. you yelled whilst swiping the water away from your eyes. jake laughs but pauses when he looks back at you. yup, he thought you were hot.

you walked closer to him and pointed a finger right on his bare chest. jake didn’t even comprehend the words you were muttering out, he knew you were lecturing him about tackling you in the pool. his hands suddenly wrapped around your waist. you gasped a little. it went silent between the both of you.

and that’s when your eyes flickered down onto his plump lips. how you’ve always dreamt of kissing them but you always thought your friendship was simply platonic. clearly it wasn’t because who would think of kissing their guy best friend.

you went for it and kissed him first. before he could even make the first move but then you realised…did he even want to kiss you? you pulled away after the short kiss and covered your mouth.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I am so sorry, jake.”

jake doesn’t say anything further before he pulls you back into another kiss, that conveyed his true feelings for you.

(ONE CHANCE JAEYUN🧎🏻‍♀️)

park sunghoon

you and sunghoon were like sort of friends. the only way you befriended him was through jake. however, the only time you ever chatted with fine sculpted boy was when jake was around.

other times, you would not be caught talking to him. you preferred to keep your mouth shut. reason being, you were afraid of fooling yourself in front of him. there was no way of denying that sunghoon was attractive. moreover, he was your type. shy, introverted and has an adorable toothy smile.

you would rather just keep your mouth shut than to make a fool out of yourself. sunghoon too thought the same. he thought you looked pretty, he felt like you and him were meant to be. okay, maybe it was just because he fell in love at first sight but he will never admit it. anyways, today, you, jake and sunghoon were hanging out at jay’s house.

they wanted to play games jay’s newly bought console. courtesy of mr.park since he loved his son dearly. jay and jake were busy tapping at the controllers, screaming their heads off while you and sunghoon either watched them or were busy scrolling on your phones.

“hey, wanna play you two? we played too long, our hands are cramping up.” jay asks. you didn’t fancy playing video games but you wanted to try it so you took the controller and sat where jay previously sat. jake smirks.

“let’s make a deal.” jake suggests.

“what? no. i’m playing for fun, I’ve never played this before.”

“exactly, you get handicap benefits. sunghoon can also help you if you’d like.” jake winks. you turned to look back at sunghoon. he was sending glares at the boy beside you. when his eyes with yours, it softens.

“umm, if you want help. I can help.” he says.

“then can you help me?” you shyly asked.

“sure.”

“alright then, since you have sunghoon’s help. I’ll make the challenge harder. you have to kill the boss. like the top boss of this level.”

“bro, this level is hard though.” jay says.

“yeah I know but sunghoon said he beat this level before so it will be easier for (name) with his help.” jake explains.

“alright then. deal, sim jaeyun.” sunghoon says.

and so the game begins. jake plays the level but dies like 20 seconds later. he groans.

“alright your turn (name).” jake says.

it was your turn, sunghoon tries instructs you to do things. surprisingly, you were so far doing well. when there was a part you couldn’t do or figure out. sunghoon sat behind you and grabbed the controller to move your character around.

the boss level arrives and you were panicking while trying to defeat it. you yelled cusses while trying to beat it. sunghoon helps you through it and when it ends when the monster falls to the ground dead. your jaw drops. you turned to hugged sunghoon but miscalculated and accidentally kissed him right on the lips.

okay maybe it wasn’t a miscalculation, you knew he was near to you and you wanted to see what happened if you kissed him. either ways, your eyes ‘widened’ and you quickly pulled away. you gasp and frantically apologised to the boy. even the two boys that were there had their eyes widened. they were shocked at what they witnessed.

“oh my god, this is embarrassing. sunghoon, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that I swear-” you felt a pair of lips on yours again.

you hear gasps behind and beside you. jay and jake’s jaw dropped even more at the bold action sunghoon did. your hands fall around sunghoon’s neck, you kissed him happily.

“okay okay! stop kissing you two! god, I don’t wanna have to bleach my damn eyes.” jay says. both you and sunghoon pulled apart.

“you two are disgustingly cute but at the same time just eww.” jake fake gags.

“you are just jealous, I have a girlfriend now.” sunghoon proudly says.

kim sunoo

sunoo runs around the art store, trying to help you find what you needed. he has a sugar rush so you thought it was smart of you to use the energetic boy.

“here. pencils for shading.” he says. you thanked him. he runs off again and you just watched him.

“i’m surprised he actually willingly wanted to do it for you.” jay nudges at you.

“it’s probably the (name) effect again. sunoo likes you.” jake adds.

“pfftt very funny. there is no way sunoo likes me.” you say. the two older boys rolled their eyes.

“yeah sure. just so you know, even if he has sugar rush, he would never be caught helping any of us.”

“well too bad. maybe treat him nicer and stop teasing him then he will like you.” you stuck out your tongue.

“that’s not the only reason. it’s because you are you and sunoo likes that.” jay says.

“enough. there is zero possibility of sunoo liking me.”

“whatever you say.”

“(name) (name)!! I found those fancy colouring pencils that you’ve been talking about!!”

“oh my, I’ve been wanting these for so long…” you noticed the price tag. “it’s too pricey. come on boys, let’s go. you have practice.”

just when you were about leave the store, sunoo comes up behind you and places in the colour pencils that you wanted so much. you quickly realised that it was already paid.

“sunoo.”

“save it. I wanna gift you this since you’ve always wanted it soooo much.”

“once again, kim sunoo strikes at buying a gift for (name).” jay says. you rolled your eyes.

“how about I reward you!” you say to sunoo.

“oooo what reward-”

you pecked sunoo’s lips. he gasps and covers his mouth. even the two older boys were in shock.

“(name)…” jake says.

“d-do you like me too?” sunoo says.

“maybe…” sunoo pecks your lips a couple more times and hugs you excitedly.

“eeeekkk, (name) is my girlfriend now!!” the boy shouts.

yang jungwon

“you know jungwon, I really don’t get how flexible you are.” you wince watching the boy stretch his legs almost easily doing the splits.

jungwon shrugs, "i did taekwondo for years. why wouldn't i be flexible?"

"you're right. i shouldn't doubt your skills."

jungwon snorts. he huffs and gets into position.

"alright. you said you wanted to learn how to do 'pass the mic'?"

you realise what you've gotten yourself into. you awkwardly stood still.

"umm, i won't break my ankles right?"

"no but there is a possibility of spraining it. which is why you should stretch properly."

you hummed, "then, teach me."

jungwon smiles. he teaches you how to do the dance. it was extremely hard and you tripped like so many times. thankfully, jungwon catches you all the time without fail.

you tripped for the tenth time and jungwon catches you.

"you know...i'm starting to think you're purposely falling for me." jungwon jokes.

you blushed, "shut up, i'm just clumsy."

"sure, you usually don't fall this much. especially in school."

"well, i'm not an idol so obviously i am not used to this. besides, we were in a debating club together!"

"yeah whatever. wanna do it from the top again?"

"will you lead?"

"sure."

and so you and jungwon get into positions. the song starting to play and you followed jungwon. just about halfway through the song when you were getting into it, you tripped again. this time, you dragged jungwon along with you.

accidentally pecking him right on the lips in the process. you gasp.

"is this your way of telling me, you have a crush on me (name)?" jungwon asks.

"what? what do you mean? i don't have a crush on you!"

"mhm sure~~" jungwon teases. you were feeling flustered but you could only think of one thing to do and that was to kiss yang jungwon right on the lips again.

the boy was initially in shock but got over it quickly. his hands reach out to place right on your cheeks so he could really kiss you back. you pulled away.

"i-"

"let's go out on a date." jungwon quickly mutters.

nishimura riki

it was a tradition to go to a bowling alley every once in a while with ni-ki since he constantly begged the boys. unfortunately, with busy schedules, they were unable to do so.

instead, ni-ki begged you. his extremely close 'friend'. reason why there is a quotation mark on your friendship is because sure you and ni-ki were friends but it was clear he treated you as more than friends.

he was more touchy with you as compared to everyone. you weren't opposed to dating ni-ki though since you liked him too. however, the boy made you feel confused. as such, you decided you wanted to confirm the relationship you two had.

"here you go. it's your turn first." ni-ki hands you a bowling ball perfect for you.

"thank you." you rolled the ball down the lane and knocked down a few pins. ni-ki was proud so he high-fived you for doing well. you collected the spare soon after.

"you're getting good. you may even be able to beat jay hyung in bowling." ni-ki says.

you snort, "i thought you said you don't really play bowling anymore? why are we here together then?"

"because...i wanted to spend my time with you."

you shoved the boy, clearly you were flustered. ni-ki smirks.

"watch this." ni-ki rolls the ball and gets a strike.

"great job, ni-ki but this isn't over."

"oh so it turned into a competition? alright, then. let's do this."

and so a competition between you and ni-ki starts. a small bet was created where the winner would get to do whatever they wanted. however, you were losing. you huffed. maybe it wasn't too smart to challenge ni-ki. knowing his competitive nature, it made it harder.

ni-ki notices how hard you wanted to win this bet. hence, he started to slow down. he pretended to do bad for the rest of the rounds, purposely rolling the ball to the gutter or getting lesser pins. in the end, you won.

you jumped up excitedly and ni-ki smiles.

"I WIN!!"

"beginner's luck." ni-ki says before bending slightly down to your height. you rolled your eyes. "what do you want then?"

that's when ni-ki felt your lips against his. it was just a mere small peck. you instantly hid your face with your hands. ni-ki stares at you in shock but a smile creeps up. he pulls you into a hug.

"i see, you wanted a boyfriend."

"shut up!"

"well, if that's what you want...i guess i could be yours." he says whilst a smile playing on his lips.

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 24]

And it's the last thing he would have wanted her to do :(

Once again, want to draw your attention to the fact that Julith doesn't seem to really care about Joris. She just set him and Bakara free to get hit by lasers and once he told her "I will never allow this to happen" she stopped paying attention.

Like, did her love hinge on the condition he didn't disagree with her or what? I am insane about her various behaviours and weird way of loving (AKA she doesn't really love anyone besides Jahash, and she might not really love Joris that much either. because she's like. known him for a day and 80% of it he called her cringe(because she's cringe))

Man, I know ankama didn't think about this all so deeply. They were like "cool lasers go pew pew pew". But I'm the CEO of caring too much. So I will literally do just that.

Anyway, her parenting style (setting him loose under some deadly lasers) reminds me of Kerubim, except she's doing this on purpose. yaay.

Joris has GOT to be in a literal state of shock and dissociation by now. Not even years of therapy will fix this.

By now he's seen roughly 1000 and 6 people die.

I've seen headcanons of him keeping his mother's cape. And while imagining Joris with a cool cape is nice and all, I really doubt he Would Fucking Do That.

Not because you can get it as a cosmetic item in Dofus MMO (you can, but it's dubiously canon imo). I just think he fucking hates her and wouldn't want that thang in his house.

It's just him VS. her now.

There's a heaviness to this. All of them (save for maybe Lilotte) have the knowledge that whoever hits the Dofus will get exploded together with them. But with the rush of adrenaline, inexperience of everyone involved (only warriors actively think "oh I am going to DIE for real this time"), and the "if we don't act now 1000 people will die" of this situation, I really doubt either of them thought too hard about it all.

But I think that once you're all alone with that thought - and it's obvious that it's you, who will have to do it, it sinks in a little better.

He looks so distraught...

Inside me are two wolves: one of them is saying, "Joris is so brave yet so scared. He knows he will probably not survive this, and he's 10, and, and--" and the other says "JORIS JURGEN SUICIDAL HEROISM MOMENT NUMERO UNO!!!!!"

Both of them are equally insane.

I NEED these frames injected into my bloodstream.

One counterpoint I can think to why Julith is so worried about this despite setting him free to roam under the deadly lasers, is that, as the guardian of the Ebony Dofus, she could simply go "Not that one. let that one live. No, you can kill the blonde that looks like my husband, I don't give a shit about her. But the weird little boy? Don't kill him."

But this is just me trying to fix Ankama's fucky-wuckies with my imagination.

It's jojover. Just completely and irreparably jojover.

This scene always gives me chills, more so than any other insanely evil interaction between Joris and Julith.

There are a lot of ways this scene gets me (imagine me putting on the tinfoil hat from my Aux Tresors kerulou days. I am about to be that insane): The way she envelops him stops any and all movement of him and his Dofus completely, and wipes out all the sound and momentum.

He is completely helpless against how easily she stopped him and took his only way to save everyone from him.

As he falls to the ground, there's a little sense of dreaminess to it — the cape seems far bigger than it should be, the time before he hits the floor seems longer than it should be — and make no mistake, it is on purpose. Seconds before he falls we are shown the floor, and it seems vaguely closer to us at the first glance, than the distance he falls. It's unexpected, it's destabilizing.

It's like he is dissociating, from the horror of not being able to do this.

It's like a nightmare.

And after doing this irreparable evil, and taking his one way of stopping this evil, she looks at him as if he is a tiny, stupid little thing, that doesn't know what it is doing.

As if it's not her fault that his only choice is doing something that will kill him, just to stop her.

And listen. There's guilt too. Because Joris is the one who allowed her to get the Ebony Dofus back. If he survives this and nobody else does, do you think he could ever forgive himself?

She's making him responsible for this.

They will never get to speak, but Jahash is happy, with what Joris has tried to do.

...Unlike Julith, who was reminded of Jahash by Joris's blue eyes, — I bet Jahash thinks they're similar to Bakara's.

There are so many emotions here. He will never get to speak to this man. This man is happy abotu what Joris has done. This man is the reason Joris's life is utterly ruined.

Is Jahash's smile an "I'm sorry that you have to do this, and see this," or "I'm proud of you," or "I wish things were different," or a mixture of all of them?

Joris will never get to know.

He saw something in her that other people didn't see.

She never really wanted to be a "butcher". Even if she could not overpower that destiny, — after Bonta took away her entire family and future, may I add, — the fact that she tried to begin with is saying a lot.

The look he gives her is something between "please don't prove me wrong" and "this isn't you".

I think she realizes now that there is no future where she, Jahash, and Joris are together and happy.

Four lives, in three generations of this family, ruined and uprooted and destroyed, because of some petty politics that were happening behind their backs.

I truly despise Bonta.

It's quiet. The only sound is his own heartbeat. Nothing seems quite real. He can barely believe that maybe she will stop this madness herself.

There is only one kind of reunion that they may have.

No matter how much she wanted a happier ending.

[miiilowo]

Since yyou are a horror fan i was wondering. I really wanna get into horror, but i am EXTREMELY jumpy. Jumpscares and sudden loud noises always shake me up badly. I can literally deal with anything as long as there are no jumpscares qwq i know there probably arent many, but could u recommend any cool movies that dont use that many? (horror media seems to overuse them nowadays...) thank u! \(^_^)/

Honestly, I have no idea. Jumpscares don't get me often nowadays so the ones that do or don't have em don't stick out in my memory much. The first 3 I can think of that I (think?) dont have that many are american psycho, jaws and ginger snaps, though american psycho and jaws aren't horror movies as much as they are thrillers. Psychological ones tend to have less, but theyre also usually "make you stare at a wall for 2 hours after the movies over" type movies. Unless that's your thing. Then go nuts

The Thing doesn't have that many in my memory (and I also heavily recommend it in general). Cabin in the woods has like. One. The shining has jumpscares but they're not like. Noisy in your face ones. Big big boys. The vvitch is generally clear of them IIRC

Ur best bet is to probably just look up where jumpscares are in a movie if you wanna avoid em 👍 I'm sure guides for that sorta thang exist. if anyone can think of some feel free to drop them in the comments or something but my mind is totally fucking blanking rn. Might be wrong about some of these too tbh

[m0thergoose]

TOWL EPISODE 6 THE LAST TIME SPOILERS AHEAD FOR MY RUNNING COMMENTARY

Here we fucking go lads I’m scared

Sexy time again what a way to start, we continue to win 💖

PUTTING THE RING ON LIKE THIS HOLY FUCK 🫠

They look unreal in the uniforms lol

he said I didn’t need to be scared, that it was just the burning - his story about his dad omg it’s gonna come full circle

I love when Rick says thang 😂

Thorne has really been sucked in hasn’t she I don’t think this will end well for her

She has been a good friend to Rick though

Here we go stealthy Michonne she is the GOAT

Omg jadis paintings! Wanna see if there’s any of Ricky dicky

Terry O’Quinn my man 🫶

‘We’re the dead ones Rick’ woooooow

I feel like Michonne is gonna get caught in here I’m on edge

A CAT HOLY FUCK MICHONNE TAKE THAT HOME 😂😂😂😂

nah jadis is a sick bitch for hiding it in the cat

It’s a fucking ESSAY Jesus Christ

‘Rick’s wife’ only bit I liked seeing lol

Rip that shit up Michonne

She’s so upset 😭😭😭

Here we go briefing time 😬

Terry O’Quinn is staring into my soul

Fucking feral Rick flashbacks I love it

Come on Beale spit it out

OMG RICK AND MICHONNE

The toy rabbit?? What’s this about I’m scared

MAMA MICHONNE FLASHBACKS FUCKING GUT ME

Saving one city by sacrificing your home - I feel like this is meant to be what Rick does

I love Rick speaking about his dad for some reason

‘We’re all gonna die’ not Rick and Michonne tho we’re the ones who LIVE

The child evacuation??

14 years to extinction???

Evacuation of 10% of children - so they’re going to let the rest die!!

Spies in selected communities omg are they in the commonwealth!! I swear if Judith or RJ show up on that screen!!!!

Basically CRM is committing genocide

Rick please just kill him lmao

My son 😭😭😭😭😭😭

YAAAAS RICK THANK FUCK

Omg Rick please say we’re the ones who live

RIGHT get out of there now Ricky boy fucking hell

Fuck Rick you gonna have to kill this guy too lmao

I’m so on edge

ALSO halfway through and we’re still at cascadia I just want them HOME 😭😭

Oh no Thorne

Rick just wants to see his kiddies kill me 😭😭😭😭

Why’s he left his hand behind???

IM SO STRESSED ABOUT THORNE SHES GONNA RUIN THIS

This is like them disarming Negan’s explosives on the road, except this time they’re arming them

YAAAAS GIVE HER HIS SWORD

OH NO THORNES FIGURED IT OUT 😱😱😱😱

Holding hands forever I love this

FUUUUUCK

THE EXPLOSION WAS WILD

YEEEESS MICHONNE

FUUUUCK RICK

YAAAAS MICHONNE GET HER MASK

OMG THEY DID IT THE CITY KNOWS THEY CAN GOOOOO

FREE MOVEMENT HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED

NAH IM GONNA CRY

IM CRYING AND ITS NOT EVEN HAPPENED YET

His boots 🥹

IM UNWELL

LOOK AT THEM

MICHONNE AND HER BABIES 🥹🥹🥹

HIM AND HIS BABY GIRL 🥹🥹🥹

IM ACTUALLY SOBBING

YOURE THE BRAVE MAN

NAH IM SOBBING GUYS

HUG YOUR SON DAMMIT

BUT MAYBE YOU COULD CALL ME DAD NAH IM DEAD

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[scucharlie]

Hihi !!! Asking you about the slenderverse !! I haven’t seen much outside of marble hornets (and reading a couple creepypastas). So feel free to advertise it as well :)))))

[CRACKS HAND] OF COURSE :3

OKAY OKAY. AHH AHHH I'll go crazy Abt the series I know in order :3

STAN FREDRICK: OH YM GOD. OH MY HOD STAN FREDRICK. JESUSCHRIST. VALERIA SANTIAGO YOULL ALWAHS BE FAMOUS. okay so, Stan Fredrick is SO interesting to me, because it's this series about this guy who instead of being a victim of Slenderman like the usual, he actually is like immune to slendermans shit* and only getd mild headaches. he can scare off slender for awhile , so he uses this to go around helping people. its SOOO good oh my godddddd it's such a interesting fresh take and Stan is such a good characters who is so complicated and oh my godd my little meow.meow <3

*depending on series it's diff, but typical slender sickness shit is being near slender too long and getting nosebleeds, bleeding coughing up blood etc

WHISPEREDFAITH: whisperedfaithhh FREAKIEST RAKE INTERPRETATION I LOVEEEE IT. the whispering, it being this "speaker" fucking FREAK OF A THANG. it's about this guy Lee and his friend mo getting caught up in this cult <- not just using this word it's actual cult, where they worship the rake! and Lee is this "carrier" and they need him so they just keep following him also the rake was in his house just chilling for a few days so. yeah! i love Lee <3 and Mo and lexx and Linnie and -

EVERYMANHYRBID:

OH BOY. the series I never shut the fuck up Abt man. okay. so! Everymanhyrbid is this series about these guys doing a health/fitness gig, at first right? they planned to do this Slenderman prank but uh oh! the actual fucking slenderman is after them! shit! so they get deep in this shit of being hunted down by the slenderrr, bringing people into this and fuck. the acting is so good , fuck fuck fuckkk it makes me CRAZYYYYYYY it's also a arg with way too much shit going on that doesn't show up in he playlist but nightmind has explained all that stuff if you wanna listen to it! it's ultimately a series about change! :) change .. and also bloodying men up <3

MLA0: SIBLING ENJOYERS YOU WILL FUCKINV LOVE MLA0. okay! so, mla0 is about this guy, Micheal who's doctor has asked him to record himself after getting released from the mental hospital. he's of just, fine y'know. but then. JUMPSCARE. THE SLENDER.! slender starts appearing around him, scaring the shit out of him so he fleas to his brothers shauns and his roommate Eric to stay. shit goes downhill! its Soo fuck fuck fuck my life. Shaun and Micheal argue, and yell and they love each other and they're both scared and terrified, and theyre just. human. god..I love this series genuinely the series that started me down being obesesed w slenderverse <3 the acting fucks and Shaun is my babygirl <3 Eric is an interesting character andhhhhhhhhhgg I love themmmm god. the soft moments hit so much hardee after the fucked up shit yk? 10/10 series

DARKHARVEST00: DARK HARVESTRR

okay so this one is so special 2 me, bc me and my friend Mike binged it in two days and it'sso ofucking good oh my hod. Alex and Chris are so silly and fucked up. it's once again about a cult, again. Actual cult not like jus using the word, where this time they worship Slenderman directly who goes by this sick ass name in germmen i believe? I don't remember but, yeah at first! It seems like Chris may be haunted, but then yeah the cult is after them for getting too nosey with It and yeag. god. THEY HAVE PRACTICAL EFFECTS FOR GORE ITS GREATTTT EHEHEHE also the actors FUCKK IT MAKES ME CRAZY. SHIUT OUT CHIRS BABYGIRL I CAN TAKE YOU TO THERAOY <3

audgdhdphyhic damage /POS ty for letting me explode u w slender ejnolwdge :3

[crustaceanchauffeur]

OFF CASTE BLOOD COLORS

What is good my mutie crew!? it's your number one old planetary post ban from the Warren coming at you live!

This wipe we're talking BLOOD- The definin' trait of the offcaste, your blood's weird, wet, wacky, and WILD! Be it unrecognizable like our's truly Kankrizzle the Suffering Signless, blurring the hemospectrum like y'all sicknasty cuspies, or switching teams involun T-A-R-L to the Y style like yall funkilicious chromatic transition fellas out there.

So! Blood! You got it in your noodles! You paint it in your doodles! Get a lil freaky you can bake it in your strudels! We all know the 'leven on the spectrum but what about this off-caste biz? What funky hues in your shoes? Now lets get this flow started by covering them SICK base Sics.

The Leven ! You know em, you love em, statistically speakin you probably are one! Its no news to hues that burg through feu...rg.. fuchsieurg... Yeah. We got Burgundy, Bronze, Gold, Ollie, Jade, Teal, Cerulean, Cobalt, Purple, Violet, and the biggie Fuchsieurg. Nothin too inchwrestling in there, unless youve been livin deeper under a rock than even ol me. Naw- What gets you wakin' up are the Cuspies.

Is it hard to tell if you're green or blue? You look one caste in one light and another in another? You got traits of two neighboring castes? You migh' be a Cusp! Now bein' a cusp makes you just as illegal as any offcaste- you just have an easier time blending yourself right on in when y' bloods getten up all close n personal with two a the big eleven.

A good friend of mine- big goldie- real weird blood, real charmer- Now they has a theory goin' up n on that the hemospectrudle is straight up pseudoscience- a real artificial constraint keepin us down- an they think cusps are the numero uno proof. They gave me a counter argument though- real nitpicker, they- that maybe if the hemospectrum is the baseline natural order of thing an thangs and yall cuspies out there are how our spectacular spectrum bleeds together! Give that theory nuff time and hypothetically, the hemospectrum falls either way. Grub for thought I say, that that big oll order falls apart even when let live long and lone.

Some o' th weirder hemo schemos tcha girls beheldos come from what i've been told are called 'chimera,' or eggsplice for th rest o us. The eye to the dios mio es that when all yall of us are all up in big momma G, sometimes we eggy fellas get all mashed up into eachother, an some freaky stuff can hap to the gubabies. Most o the toast one o yalls prelarvas hot lava gets straight up consumed by the other. Not in a blood and food noodles way, but in a needlecritter way, slurpin' up all that good M the Grub Juise an remelting they egg pardner.

This ain' all th time though, sometimes them goopy lil gups get all globby and glue them gushers all gup and gover themgelves, getting gall gestalt and ghiit. This makes one grubtastic eggy with one itty bitty bippy in there with th amino springs o two. Two coexistin' sets jus all up in there harmonious and livin'. This makes some real strange blood and bod combos, on one prong yall can be real up there with the extra huskbits, Arms +1, +2, +3, eyes 100, thats what i call a netcritter-troll. On that otha prong yalls can be straight up indistinguishable from a typicolor grayguy. All depends how creative Momma G got mixing them gups. Supes easy be mistaken for cusphood, muddy blood hues, and blurs.

If your blood looks jus a tad diffrent depining on the limb it calls hive, might be that your crafting recipes a liiitle more diverse than you expect. Not even too many items got a good splanation for you there. And don't think you on-ies are free from splicehood, same caste chimera are a lit bit rarer an a lotta botta stealthier. Chimerahood don't just happen in duos either i hear from the big blue boy, this battle bus can be droppin' with player counts upwards of a whole clutch!

Somethin' thats right up there wit it, the nearhue of the caste mixing filial thicket is those hues that slide from one to two! Thats right yall, changing colors aint just for the ambitious goldies, mad scientists, and dyschromic! Sometimes that sweet slimey bod gets all gunkled up in the sack an apostrophe 'tivates too many acts and yall's amino springs get bouncin' out with a few too many hues! That big ol goldie i mentioned? Yeah his sizzlin sign assigned at pupation? Sagrist. When my man was pupa pan he had two horns straight like spears yet when he got just a lil past when he dodged that big ol fishies order to the borders, they crown was a straight four prong. Mothergrub's orb his prongs split and to this day like a goldie in gray my ashblood bud got a crown like an archecutioner pailed the helmsman. In all my ways an all my days for some U Enty K own reason, blue->au do be real common hue by comparizzle to the average drizzle- I seen three- Achievement get! Not countin' those with some lineated blood apostrophe lations that is.

...

Now tchagrillmaster turned that raw dogg right over and that underside real crispy flesh-carapace-o-tha-point fell right on down t' the smoulderin' smoulderclumps clumped down in the flames, an my pans slipped like y' ancient ancestor down a flight a terraced platform risers. In other words, topic do be switchmaxxing.

Now back round to big graygreen goldie, now I happen to know this tall dark and hornsome fella- real big troll- COVERED in horns all up like a grub got they candied maize picked pre pupate style cranked up a few times. Now when I met this bristly endertroll he wasn' pickin up cubes an zorpin, he was gettin' my good dehornin' friend to zaw right through one o' those big boney boys 'been blockin' his beautiful bulbs, an this cut was a deep cut- hornbeds byebye- blood 'n all an' yall never guess what color a paint this fellas had in his cellas.

Pitch at first second and third sight- cause that blood ain't changin'- color of hate so pure and true, straight up gravity-black oilstyle six ways from nubsday. Straight up color of the tyrant himself! Checked it out and 'was truly id to the cull. Splains the spikes now, dont it?

Now from the stealthy cuspie to the pitch black bloodbrother, Yall know some a the wonderful ways our hues do play.

The overdue yellow-green hue: Oftcas out.

[cant-get-no-worse]

i am always very intrigued by the neymessi relationship. thoughts on them?

Hiya people! I'm currently having a good chuckle because as I read your asks, I see mutuals celebrating the neymessi overtaking cressi on ao3 party. Uncanny. World colllides. Anyways. Imma rant now, you just gave me free real estate!

Disclaimer : this isn't me parasocially psychoanalizing the friendship of two grown ass men I've never seen nor talked to, this is just me covering bases of funny thoughts me n some friends have been entertaining about it. It's senseless ramble and fun and I gotta make profit off of those hours I spend looking at them interact aight.

First of, whatever I could say about it, in the end, everything condenses into this, really: it's a beautiful human bound. Akin to those unlikely friendships brought together by football — kinda makes you think this god wrenched sport isn't so wasted after all. Then you see Harry Kane's face, and you deflate, but that's a whole otha thang (sorry Kane mutuals) (the bloke is coming to PSG anyways).

It's all the more fascinating as we partially saw it develop in real life, and its 'public' aspect is well documented, from the tweets of Neymar all the way back in 2011 fan girling over Messi when they hadn't even met, to the countless footage of games, backstages, documentaries, interviews, little snippets here and there. Let's go over some aspects in an orderly manner.

Similarities between Neymar and other dudes

You can kind of wonder how Leo, introverted as he is, could have ended up entertaining a decade-long friendship (spent apart for four whole years) with such guy as Neymar, a whole five years his junior. And then you look at Leo’s other myriad of friends over the course of the years: Ronaldinho, the whole Brazilian squad of Barcelona who took him under their wing because they liked him, Kun Agüero, Rodrigo De Paul and Leandro Paredes. All extroverted, a bit immature/impulsive, loudmouthed, joyful dudes, and then you realize the guy just has a knack for befriending such people. It just compliments his character. (I’m not adding Luis Suarez to the bunch cause while Luis is impulsive, loudmouthed, extroverted, joyful, he is also a whole other vibe, much more settled/mature, it’s a whole other thing. Could rant about it for hours too. That Messi/Suarez friendship is so genuine, easy, weird, and amazing).

What’s the diff with Suarez

So talking about Suarez, I think the best way to start discerning a relationship is to oppose it to others. The easiest way being here opposing the Messi/Suarez and Neymar/Suarez to the Neymar/Messi. They’re all friends, but the duos don’t work the same way, and it’s obvious. Messi/Suarez are besties, they share the same age, interests, mate, families, whatever. Messi brought him on his honeymoon. Like what the actual fuck. Anyways. Suarez/Neymar reads more like a friend/brothers relationship, were they liked to mess around, fuck around and make fun of each other. You’d think since Suarez and Messi are rigorously the same age, Messi and Neymar’d have a similar relationship. But na. You just can’t look at it and state Messi/Neymar relationship is only brother like. They are brothers, but not only. There’s a shit ton of layers, due to the circumstances of their meeting, their career trajectories, what they represent, for their countries as for football, the roles they had to assume towards each other at FCB in the beginning, but also due to their characters. So what’s the layers?

Childhood/idol

The whole « child gets to play alongside the idol he used to watch on TV » boat has been sailed already by a ton of other players from all leagues, it’s one of the joys of this sport. It’s very sweet, to see how much Neymar used to hop on Twitter to unabashedly fanboy alongside other people over a Messi performance or to even just wish him a very enthused happy birthday (the proofs are there and he hasn’t even deleted them lmfao, the boy was relentless). What I like about it, however, is how little that behavior faltered over the course of the years. Younger players generally tone down the whole idolizing stuff, whether because they’re disillusioned about it (don’t meet your heroes, eh), because they’re just getting used to it, because it’d be awkward, they reserve it when they’re asked about it, in shorter commentaries. Neymar didn’t. Quite the contrary; it’s like playing with Messi only heightened his esteem for the other’s abilities, and to this admiration of the professional side, a personal layer of first-hand appreciation, by becoming a teammate and a friend, was added. Ten years later, placing a bet on Neymar name-dropping Messi on his interviews remains the safest money gambling you’ll do in your life, alongside betting on Pep doing the same (Pep’s odds are admittedly a bit higher, but the man is just batshit insane.) How little Neymar cares about how his admiration is perceived by others or by Leo himself, how unabashedly awed and praiseful he remained of Leo’s skills. Leo himself said he found it a bit embarrassing at times, because Neymar would say it to his face, but at the end of the day, it was just flattering and endearing to receive compliments from a friend and a fellow good player. That side of their relationship could have become, as some put it, embarrassing or awkward, a star-struck teammate who never grew out of it, but because of the sheer sincere nature of both their character (albeit a transparency showing through different ways, Neymar’s being the most flashy) – a trait that seemed to have been key in the establishment of their friendship – they managed to make it simply impossible for it to be embarrassing. They’re completely candid with the other about that, have been since day one, and the result is one of the healthiest child-turned-teammate-of-idol relationship you’ll get to witness. It’s utterly touching, and extremely human.

Brazil/Arg superstars & Countries rivalry

The other obvious aspect is the whole Brazil/Argentina dichotomy. This one is the thing that get a lot of imagination fuming on the internet due to the cinematic parallels/star crossed/movie-like narratives you can appose and romanticize. Barring every other consideration, I just think it’s so fitting it’s almost laughable. The resemblances in career path – two players from arguably the two countries the most insane about football and with the greatest football legacy, star boys turned 10 and figures of their respective selections, compared to an early age to the two ever looming figures of Maradona and Pelé (although Messi probably in a more glaring way, with Maradona himself stating outright the succession thing and Neymar’s comparisons being split between Pelé and Ronaldinho’s profiles). Their friendship threw a bridge over that eternal rivalry, bridge that became all the more obvious the more years passed and the more they became the centralizing figures for their NT and faced each other on the fields. The two teams trash each other on the ground, but respect prevail between players – not just Neymar and Leo, btw, that goes for seemingly every player, given that a lot of them crosses paths with each other at club level. In any case, I believe that mutual respect condenses itself in the 10’s relationship. The video of Leo refusing to engage in a song mocking Brazil (2023 Arg-Panama WC celebration) (keeping in mind trash-singing culture is widespread in Latin America, much more so than Europe; singing such songs isn’t necessarily personal, it’s just… tradition, and especially when you’re Brazil and Argentina and you just beat the other) and in another instance (after the 2021 Copa America) actively discouraging teammates to drop the subject tells you everything you need to know about the amount of care/respect the both of them hold each other to.

Mentor

There’s the whole mentoring role to it, too. When Neymar arrived in 2013 in the team, Leo had established himself already. Puyol, Xavi, Iniesta, all remained the older mentors of the team, but in term of talent and path, it kind of became obvious that Neymar could become Leo’s protegee the same way Leo was Dinho’s. The first steps were hesitants, as we all know, what with Neymar needing time to fit in a whole new league and continent, the infamous locker room chat, but after a year or so the ball got rolling (ha-ha). Imo, eventually (perhaps not in the first years, but from 2015/2016, at least after the 2014 WC) Leo seemed to have fully settled/grew into this kind of mentor-mentality and wanted to help Neymar get his BO and stuff. That’s partly why the 2017 departure could have left a bitterness aftertaste or at least a feeling of failure to have completely achieved what Dinho did on his part. See how eager he was to help Ousmane when Dembélé arrived.

Complementary play and MSN balance

On the football side, I mean. Not much to say. They’re probably the two guys with the biggest reserve of pure, raw talent of the 21st century (I mean from 2000 til 2023, as far as we know). It’s ridiculous how those two guys ended up playing together. At 20 years old, people were asking if Messi was one of the greatest players of all time, and at 21 years old, Ronaldinho said that Neymar would surpass Messi. Talent doesn’t necessarily equal chemistry on field, tho (cough side glance at you know where cough), yet they made it work, thanks to Luis who provided the final balance for it all. Funnily enough, people always praise MSN as being completely devoid of ego, as if they’re some kind of saints individually, but that’s not true. They have some ego, they’re just good dudes. Ego isn’t a bad personality trait. Most top athletes have it, it pushes you. Those guys just knew where to place it, how to handle it, and they were just too good of persons individually, and too good friends mutually. They were selfless with each other, and it was so damn refreshing to see, and it's something that perpetuates still at PSG.

Physical proximity/chemistry

Do you hear that? That’s the horde of Ao3 writers barreling towards, foam at their mouth and keyboards at their fingers, wide eyed. Quick, shut the door. Oh wait, I’m one of them. YOU’RE TRAPPED. HAHA.

Na, about that, it’s just of those things that happen. Their chemistry and instinct to touch is obvious, if the hundredths of pictures and compils with Ariana Grande screaming Save Your Tears in the background wasn’t enough to pass the hint. But honestly, there’s nothing more to see here. Some players get more physical than others, just because. Some people get more physical than others, just because. That’s chemistry. Football, like all sports, take you from the lowest point just to lift you up with an adrenaline rush the very next minute. Unlike other sports, however, it’s a team sport, so you play, you work through it, you win, you celebrate not alone, but with other people. Much more so when you’re working as a unit, like Neymar and Messi were with Suarez as the forwards, tuning to each other’s mind/bodies to get the chemistry running and the goals flowing.

Seeing them together uncannily reminded me of one of my own relationship with someone in my entourage. We disliked each other, and then kind of overnight, unexpectedly, became friends, and started touching each other. There wasn’t anything sexual about it, it was innocent in all forms, but there was just this instinctive, mindless move of putting arms around each other’s shoulders, holding hands, or whatever. There was genuinely nothing to see here, it’s just the way our friendship/relationship worked. It’s an intrinsic part of it, a constant. Touching holds more than a thousand words. You can imagine how such a medium of communication is exalted through sports, where physicality is everywhere and the first language everyone speaks.

Whether in 2015 or 2022, take any video, they’re always going to be jumping to each other. There’s some degrees of variation; sometimes, most times, it’s to celebrate, it’s euphoric and lively and flying about, others it’s a touch on the shoulder, the hair, the waist. Whether as a teammate checking on the other because of an injury (generally it was due to Neymar being bodied by opposition players), diffusing a situation (Neymar getting worked up over another player), as friends gossiping, as opposite players (Leo asking for a yellow on Ney and then both touching to level the situation), a hug or touch on the thigh (2015 UCL celebration), a gentle touch on a knee during training for no other reason than it’s a natural instinct and it’s an relationship in which it’s normal, whatever. Sometimes they hug to celebrate, sometimes it’s loaded (see 2021 CA final). I can’t explain it, just browse about and you’ll see plenty. It’s also the eyes — Neymar can be caught looking unabashedly at Leo with the same adoration as a kid. His platonic passion is just one of a kind. Leo will be found staring amused, tender or just lost in thought. It’s endearing. The eyes, chico. Once again; it just works.

There’s not much to see or read here, it’s just because it is. Marco Verratti doesn’t have a relationship as personal with them as they do and yet the fucker will always find a way to touch them thighs or shoulders – because some people are just physical like that. Also because he’s an Italian hooker. But that’s a whole other story. Ramos and Modric have insane chemistry in the same way. A handful of teammates pairs have that kind of thing going.

They also don’t convey it like the other people they’re physically close to. You just watch Messi and Suarez interact and touch (and they do! A lot!) and it’s not the same as when Neymar and Messi do. Messi and Agüero, Messi and Piqué (cough), Messi and Pedri, Neymar and Mbappé, Neymar and Dani Alves, Neymar and the whole fucking world cause he’s that touchy mf. Each one of these ways of touching tell the depths and subtleties of the relationship lying behind, you could ramble hours about two people like I’m doing but at the end of the day you just look at how the both of them touch and look, and you get it. (i direct you to cara's blog!)

It works for them, as it works for lots of human beings. We touch to convey stuff. They lived through tough and euphoric times with their club, had the weight of the two arguably most prestigious football selections on their shoulders, went through boring training sessions, flights, team drama, tax evasion stuff (cue laughter), they’ve been evolving in the same world of money, public and fast-paced life for years. Add to that the personal relationship - friends, teammates, mentors, opposites, etc. They’re on a common understanding ground. They touch. That’s the wordless language.

Extrovert/introvert

The extrovert introvert thing, blabla. It’s just endlessly entertaining to see them interact because it seems like a stark contrast on paper, but in reality, they kinda even each other out. Neymar is his usual outgoing, ray of sunshine (Galtier’s words, not mine), fidgeting, energy-filled dude, and Leo’s calm, dealing with his shit on his own terms, perfectly okay with not talking, but also perfectly okay with gossiping and joking about. That’s one of the most underrated aspects to their friendship, imo. It just seems, from 2013 to now, that they just have tremendous fun being around each other. It’s not the same kind of energetic, very showy-pranksty-physically fun you can see Neymar have with other Brazilians or Suarez or Mbappé etc, because of Leo’s character, it happens in a different way (the energies match differently). Whether at Barca, on an international pitch or at PSG, each time they are seen being around each other, you just know there’s gonna be a picture of them cracking up over dumb shit. Every time. Clockwork. It’s kinda amazing lmfao.

The 2017 – 2021 era

Now you’d think they’d be close during their days at FCB because of circumstances; you have a coworker, you surprisingly get along fine, you become friends, then one of you leave works, and slowly but surely the relationship or wish to reunite get fainter and fainter. It’s just something we experience a lot, and it’s also something you see in football a lot due to transfers (cue that tumblr post about a player transfering is like selling your child). Players become friends, friendships get severed because of space and time and the impossible schedule. The thing with Ney and Leo is that all throughout 2017 – 2021, they not only seemed to have maintained a friendship, but above all a fierce wish to play with each other again. Multiple accounts from that period of time say Leo reportedly asked for Neymar to be brought back by the board each time they asked which improvements/suggestions the players (and esp Leo, given his influence at FCB) would give. Neymar stated multiple times and publicly (in a typical Neymar fashion) that he wanted to play with Leo again. It’s like they’d found the perfect partnership, on and off the pitch, and they were both wanting it again.

The Barça to PSG transition

Now the PSG era!! It's quite fascinating, for you could consider the dynamics to have been inversed: Leo was the one arriving, Neymar was the experienced one on these grounds. There’s no football mentorship going on, for Neymar didn't have to teach Leo how to play, Leo having enough experience to just about integrate himself anywhere, but there is the mentorship in adapting, if you will – to a new league, new country, new teammates. Similarities in situation plastered everywhere, eight years later. You can kind of see why it can be easy to go mad at how this entire relationship do seem like a written story filled with parallels cause the author is so keen on it.

In the first year, Leo was seen hanging with the Latam - Neymar, Paredes, Di Maria, Icardi etc - (and Marco Verratti, cause the short fucker is just likeable like that) to the point where there really seemed to be "clans" within the locker rooms. I don't think it's necessarily true, rather it was just a bunch of close friends (two of which he'd just won the Copa América with) and shameless admirers of him who were all too eager to help him adapt, esp given Leo's character - he just isn't one to take the first step towards others, normally, even less so in a foreign country/club where locker rooms dynamics are already up and going. I don't remember which PSG ex player said he was quiet in his corner and didn't make no waves. Then after Di Maria and Paredes' departure, it seems Neymar really took on that role.

See the videos of training or games from 2021 – 2023, a rough 80% of the time they remain glued to each other, with others tagging along (Verratti esp). They do the exercises together, they warm up alongside, they go in and out of the pitch talking, they wait talking (see : the Riyadh XI game). The difference with FCB times are quite stark: in Barça they would have other friends to be around to here and there - Suarez, Busquets, Alba, Piqué, Alves - while it seems at PSG they're revolving around each other. Not that Neymar doesn't have friends; he's befriended the whole locker room, but he did once slip in whatever interview that Paris had never managed to be really home. It's nothing dramatic, but an interesting insight. Leo on the other hand is perhaps not very interested in entertaining personal relationships with the other players outside of professionalism – once again Verratti seems to be an exception, they stick a lot together esp since Neymar’s injury —, so it’s just natural. So it was about falling back/gravitating around the most familiar thing you could find, made all the more obvious after the Di Maria/Paredes departure. They know each other, it’s a relationship of transparency and trust (as aforementioned) and fun, and they'd always wanted to play with each other again. At that point, it's not a new friendship where they just know each other for two years on surface, are unsure about each other, or prompt to unstability or smth. They've been friends for a decade. They've been through very emotional moments in club and in nation (2021 CA Final), it's not just being coworkers. Old habits die hard, etc. Imo the core of the relationship didn't change, but the setting and circumstances did add closeness to them - Leo is just fine/most comfortable being with Neymar and Verratti mostly, and the two are too happy to oblige because they love him. Makes for a wonderful midget trio, of which we unfortunately didn't get enough.

Conclusion

I like it. As you could probably guess from the Bible-length commentary I just pumped out. It’s just refreshing to see a relationship as genuine as these two, seemingly coming out of the blue, that somehow continued through time and space separation. The absurd resilience of such bound makes it seems so effortless for them to be friends, due to the fundamentally good/true nature of their respective characters, and I treasure it dearly, even more so after having followed/seen other friendships from different players be broken up over shit. It’s a caring, genuine, trusting, tender, fun, complicit relationship, and one I think will go on beyond the end of their football careers – in other forms.

[smileysuh]

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, i usually do not read for the older members (i've read your every hyuck work repeatedly xd) BUT I'D NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIKE ANYTHING JOHHNY RELATED, REALLY CAN'T EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED GHOSTIE

SDFGHJKL LET JOHN INTO YOUR LIFE! I understand the Hyuck love, that's our lil boo thang, but his FATHER, his PAPA, his DADDY- let John into your life and you won't regret it

I find it's easier to get into a new kpop member if he's close with your bias- here's 3 JohnHyuck fics below the cut that I have to help you get used to Johnny with Hyuck there to hold your hand ;)

Patience - yandere JohnHyuck

🔮 preview. Unfortunately, after a long day of work, both Johnny and Haechan are very close to being at their breaking point. When you walk past your window wearing a cute bra- well, to the men watching you from the street below, you’re all but begging to be plucked from your safe life and dragged into a world of strict bedroom roles and rich boys who are in desperate need of someone to help get their frustrations out-  luckily for them, they have the god complexes and the money to make that wish come true.

cw/tw. yandere warning, voyeurism, stalking, toxic friend, toxic yandere JohnHyuck, conniving, master!Haechan, dom!/Yandere JohnHyuck, size kink, rough sex, bdsm, safe words, unprotected sex, threesome, multiple orgasms, fingering, choking, hair pulling, manhandling, marking/bruising, boob worship, spit roasting, blow job, hand job, lots of finger sucking, reader as ‘sex toy/doll’, creampie, Haechan oral fixation, lots of pet names, spanking, finger sucking, god complexes, etc… I petnames. (hers) good/pretty girl, toy, doll, gorgeous, etc. (John’s) daddy. (Hyuck’s) master.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9k

The Box Office - sugar daddy John & poolboy Hyuck

🔮 synopsis.  No one quite knows what’s up with the older guy who Mark works for- from his domineeringly modern architectural tastes, to 

cw/ tw. vouyerism, exhibitionism, age dynamics (young sugar baby reader + young Lee cousins versus aged up Johnny), bdsm themes, power play, dirty talk, pet names (angel, baby, sweetheart, etc…), degradation (whore, etc…; said fondly), sex against windows, impreg kink, dirty talk, spanking, daddy/mommy issues, mentions of horny stuff like panty gagging, oral (f/m receiving), overstim, pussy slapping, spanking, anal, threesome, everyone had a case of the monster cock syndrome, handcuffs, begging, cock warming, etc… it’s super nsfw and 18+ as heck, minors do not interact I Primary Warning. this fic is centered around aged up/sugar daddy dom John having an extreme voyeurism/exhibitionism kink that wife!y/n shares/indulges him in. They have a lot of sex in places where people are really close by, and Johnny feels free to use anyone who steps onto his property like a pawn in his little sex games.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 15.3k

About Time - Idolverse JohnHyuck

🔮 synopsis. He knows he’s being A: bad friend, B: perverse, and C: self destructive, but Haechan can’t shake the feelings he has for his roommate’s girlfriend. And he takes absolutely no responsibility for his actions. 

cw/ tw. noona kink, size kink, unprotected sex, deep penetration kink?, bdsm themes, slight dumbification, multiple sex scenes, slight exhibitionism, shower sex, oral (f/m recieveing), voyeurism, so many pet names, switchy sub Haechan, soft dom Johnny, ‘baby boy’, pet names, choking, boob kink, deep throating, somnophilia themes, threesome, spit roasting, poly, etc…

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 12k

[bloomdigital]

MJ Tumblr Takeover

Hey there tumblies, it's me, ya boi!

I’m MJ (he/him), a queer, overcaffeinated, perpetually exhausted, chronically online, cat- and TTRPG-obsessed, BL-loving, shameless weeb, memelord (wannabe), raging anti-capitalist chaotic word goblin and aspiring cryptid, and I AM TAKING OVER THE LONGSTORY TUMBLR! (At least for a bit.)

Born: 08/09 Height: 182 cm Blood Type: [redacted] Type: Tsundere

I’ve been working on LongStory (on and off) since 2015, but I actually started as a fan! Once upon a time I blogged about queer nerd stuff for Xtra, Canada’s longtime LGBTQ+ publication, and I stumbled on the first episode of this adorable little romantic visual novel through Twitter (RIP). I was absolutely charmed, an instant fan, this gorgeous little game that let me relive the trials and tribulations of grade school life but in a more queer and trans friendly world. It was exactly the kind of game I wanted when I was growing up in a VERY small town in the Canadian Maritimes. So when they did a call for writers I think I was physically vibrating from excitement putting together my resume and sample scene—I actually remember exactly where I was, it was one of those weird, stars-aligned, stranger than fiction moments, but that’s a story for another time!

When I joined the team, we were basically a few writers, the producer/CEO and the programmer sitting around in a room figuring stuff out. I VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY wrote a single VERY LONG episode which—instead of making me cut it down—the project leads generously cut in two and became Episode 4: Drama and Episode 5: Make Up, and I’ve been working with the company as a writer and narrative designer since then!

LongStory’s the first game project I ever got to work on, it’s near and dear to my heart, so when I got asked to join the team on a follow-up I was once again vibrating with excitement. The company is no longer a few people sitting around in a room, it’s basically doubled to a dozen actual employees and then a bunch of part-time contributors like me, and we’re working on not one, not two, but three—okay, one of them is in very early development, but still—games, with more coming down the line! It’s like we’re a real game company or something?!

YOU MAY HAVE HEARD WE’RE DOING A KICKSTARTER! We’re taking preorders through a crowdfunding campaign to finish development on seven shiny new episodes. We would ABSOLUTELY love if you supported the campaign, with just under two weeks and little over half way to our goal we really want to make it happen!

But, long story short (har har har), we wanted to make sure you know that there is a free Steam demo that you can very much play if you haven’t already! The team, including our narrative lead and I, put so much love into this demo which, let’s be honest, is the first full episode of LongStory 2. If you play it and like it, let us know what you think! In the meantime, I’m going to be here writing about what it’s like to work on LongStory, maybe take a look at some fun new additions to LS2, share some of our favourite fanart, answer some asks… talk about the music I’m listening to… uh… share cat pictures… SO YEAH! I hope to hear from some of you over the next couple of weeks! Otherwise I’ll just be here… you know, doing my thang?

Before I go… I’m just gonna leave this here…

[slaingelo]

extended bio below the cut as well as tags

FIRST OFF: I don't mind if you read my platonic art as romantic or romantic art as platonic.👍Enjoy and interpret my art however.

I read and appreciate all tags and additions <3

Ello. You can call me Angelo, or if you wanna use nicknames, Angie works. It/its, both fem and masc words, but no man/woman [ boy/girl is okay ]. absolutely no enby or they/them, you will be blocked. friends and mutuals can use he/she for me too, but if we're strangers, please don't. weird genderqueer thang, kinda multigender kinda genderfluid. star based words are okie too. If you're not sure about anything just ask.

My usual handle is "vamqiric" if it's available. However, I decided to use the url for my blog about running and updating my merch shop, @vamqiric. I still watermark my art here with that handle since it's easier for me.

I kinda post whatever art I want here. I like MCYT but I have a side blog for it, anything else is freegame for posting here. Mostly OCs or Nintendo shit.

Currently really into LoZ, especially the Four Swords manga and TP. I like Links Meet AUs. I will likely also post linkcest stuff at some point or another, frequency more or less depends on how much I draw [ especially vidow, if you consider that linkcest ] but it will be tagged accordingly.

Maybe sometimes suggestive stuff. Again, will be tagged.

Like what you like, I like what I like.

I have lots of struggles with interacting with fandom, so forgive me if I come across as aloof; I have lots of bad experiences. I'm trying here, okie? Still, don't hesitate to reach out if you want to talk about something! I promise I'm a good vampire that does not bite. I mean. Unless you want me too. Haha. Who said that.

My all time favourite game is Kid Icarus Uprising, my biggest bragging point is that I own a Dark Pit figma, all 3 kid icarus amiibos, and 2/3 of every kid icarus game [ uprising + of myths and monsters... trying to find the og! ]

oh also I stream sometimes ig idk. my twitch is vamqiricyt I have a vtuber model it's pretty cool.

I'm down for commissions and art trades, as well as situational requests [ like if it's for something I already actively draw ] so feel free to ask.

my personalised nightcore playlist

Tags for AUs and shit;

#four hoes au - small town farmers AU inspired by stardew valley. NAMED AFTER THE FARMING TOOL.....

#force gem of four au - magical girl au

[sunflowersonatas]

sunny's boo thangs of the month (aka who I'll write for)

hi again! i realized in my intro post that I never really explicitly stated who I'll write for, so I wanted to do that! this is a current list of the men I'm obsessed with, if you share any of these please message me!! i love to share my crazies with people <3

and my requests are also open if anyone had anything they'd like to see, I don't really have strict guidelines yet but I'll write fluff, smut and everything in between with no shame! feel free to message me <3333

PETER PARKER

i would literally DIE for andrew garfield's peter parker, I'm admittedly not the biggest mcu fan but these movies with him have a special place in my heart. i also want to credit my most favorite peter parker writer on this site @webslingingslasher for getting me so addicted, definitely check out all of their writing!!

JAMES POTTER

specifically atj fancast... whew. he's the golden retriever bf I've always wanted, I especially love the common trope w childhood best friends to lovers, some other writers on here have done that and I'm obsessed! i would also write for remus and sirius if anyone requested, but this man is def my favorite from hp universe

SPENCER REID

my literal baby boy boyfriend omg look at him!!! also i think i'm generally very outgoing so I'm more attracted to the shy nerdy boy, I only put one pic w his glasses but... his glasses. cmon. how can you not love him? one of my fav spencer writers is @reiderwriter, pls go read her stuff too (one or two of them may have been requested by me hehe) I WILL ALSO WRITE FOR AARON IF THERE'S AN AUDIENCE FOR THAT!!! he's so scrumptious too MWAH

i think that about sums it up for me, I can't think of any other show or movie that I know well enough to write for haha, if you have a request idea and you're not sure please send it to me anyway!! i really want to write, I just have a hard time coming up with ideas, my inbox is open :)

-sunny ☀️🌻

[differentnerddiplomatopera]

Arcane Spoilers/Thought

Go away

You are still here

Fine

When Ambessa goes stabby-stab on Amara, and she bares her teeth, does she not have tiny wolf fangs? Am I tripping or what? Can somebody go watch it and just stare at her teeth? Agree with me, or don’t. Talk to me about it, but I think that was intentional.

When Ambessa talks to Salo, did anyone else think he was her new twink? Like “You might not be able to walk, that doesn’t deter me. Come hither miserable white boy, let me wheel you around as I burn shit for my daughter.” I genuinely thought that Ambessa had a thing so Salo.

Did Jayce’s jawline get bigger?

Sky’s smile look off, like it doesn’t look like a real smile. Arcane messing with Victor?

Does anyone else get pissed off at Mel’s eyebrows? She is full groomed, she smells like vanilla and some delicious scents, but her eyebrows? GURL COMB THEM STRAIGHT PLEASE, GET SOME GEL OR HONEY OR WHATEVER

I very much hate Caitlyn right now. Yeah, I said it.

Did Viktor get taller?

Lest, just lest. I love woman, pretty woman. I love being gay for fake woman.

I hate Ambessa. She’s also has to be gorgeous. So I hate that. Yeah.

I’ve never wanted to hug vi more in my life.

When Jinx launched “fishbones?” (I apologize if that’s not its name), did she think Vi was just that gurl and would dodge it in time? Because the little fight on the altar didn’t look like “I wanna kill you dead-dead”, I was more “My name is Inigo Montoya, You stole my enchilada’s, prepare to die.”

I hear people saying Mama bear Sevika. To me, it’s like, “Aunty who never wanted kids, but got kids dropped on her, so she reluctantly becomes a single mom who works who jobs, who tolerates her kids and never stops.”

I hate the beret, Caitlyn’s beret can choke and die. She looked unbearably preppy.

FREE MEL! FREE MY BOO THANG! LET HER GO!

[suolainensilakkart]

Oml i adore Jamie plzplz go more into him and explain his vampiric condition plz! I especially dig how freaky them chompers are, what's this homebrew vampirism of yers like?

OH, RUBS MY HANDS TOGETHER, thank you so much for this ask i've been wanting an opportunity to talk abt his vampirism for a while actually. smiles

so! a lot of the deeper story lore surrounding his vampiric condition is something i've deliberately left up to my game master's discretion, who is a dear friend of mine and has some deliciously evil ideas in store, i'm sure. i have figured most of the basics for myself, though!

the most important thing is that, at least in Jamie's case, his condition isn't natural and was acquired through a curse of unknown origin. the way it functions is largely supernatural, enhancing his physical strength, speed and endurance beyond any human limit, and granting him minor shapeshifting and regeneration abilities as well as the power to supernaturally compel people to follow short commands given by him. (he himself hates using this ability because he is a very sweet and well-meaning boy at heart, though)

while incredibly powerful, it does, of course, require human blood to work, and will eventually start cannibalizing his own blood cells for "fuel" if he goes too long without feeding. Jamie usually goes out hunting every few weeks at night, though he's largely unaware of this happening and used to chalk up the hazy memories of said hunts to recurring vivid nightmares, nosebleeds, chronic anemia and typical college exhaustion, before he somewhat recently discovered the truth of his inhuman nature and then promptly spiraled into an ongoing existential crisis. he's fine, don't worry about it.

there's a few reasons why i made his vampire form's mouth look Like That; the out-of-universe reason being that i think it looks cool as hell and i'm bored of perfectly human-looking vampires in media (nothing wrong with it, just not my cup of tea. c'mon put some spice in that thang for god's sake), and the in-universe explanation amounting to a necessity to hold struggling prey down with multiple sharp mandibles while leaving the clawed hands free for climbing (or disposing of would-be interruptions to a nice meal). Jamie's primary pair of fangs is also capable of injecting a decently strong and fast-acting analgesic into prey, so unless he actually bites down hard with the intent to cause genuine harm, his feeding bites are usually deeply uncomfortable but not particularly painful otherwise. the rapid blood loss would be your biggest problem by then!

while normally he's a stealthy nocturnal hunter, he can also transform during daytime if he's thrown into a sufficiently urgent life-or-death fight and doesn't manage to suppress his prey drive in time; this also means that he's, uh, unfortunately very prone to slipping into a somewhat murderous frenzy during combat, especially if he manages to snap a bite out of whatever (or whoever) he's fighting and trips the part of his vampiric brain that goes haywire for fresh blood, and then all bets are off. he's lucky one of his teammates in our player group has the ability to essentially cast Calm Emotions on monsters 👍

[boysplanetrecaps]

Recap of Boys Planet Episode 1, Part 2

Part 1 was here. On to part 2!

Team USA performing Rush Hour

At about 58:00 in, it’s time for USA’s own Jay and Kamden to come back out. Jay is jabbering nervously in English as they come out from backstage.  The trainees in the Space Council seem excited for USA to perform. One of the dance judges calls USA “Father, mother” (either that or he’s remember the words he learned in first year English class?). 

The trainees are impressed with Jay and Kam’s swag. Wait until they hear them sing. 

My take: 

They’re really fucking good. I don’t have to explain this, right? They’re just actually good. They sing well, and perform well, on a singing/performance competition show, ahhh what a relief. Watch the Youtube version if you want to figure out how really really good Kamden is too. I don’t know why they focus so much more on Jay -- Kam kills it just as much. Jay does have a lovely vocal color, but Kamden does too!! I will also point out that Jay’s initial acapella singing was off key, but he must have been really nervous and exhausted. 

The judges give Jay 4 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐ and Kam only 3 ⭐⭐⭐, which is stupid and wrong because Kam also should get 4 stars. Whatever. 

The judges notice that the American kids know to bow 90 degrees. Hey, there’s a lot that goes into successful Kpopping. Bow a lot, future foreign kpoppers. When it doubt, bow. 

At 1:00:34 the judges say that it’s time for a break, so it’s time for the trainees to go adjust their makeup and talk about how handsome and talented everyone is, and whether they think K or G will win the day.  Feel free to skip to 1:02:00 for the next segment: 

Yuehua K versus Yuehua G.

G on the left, K on the right.

I assume that the long term plan here is for all (or most) of these eight boys to debut as one group down the road; that would be smart, because we’d know them all at least a little bit, and many of them are fairly memorable. I bet that would work -- We really have no way to know how well they know each other -- do they train together in Korea? Hard to be sure. But the impression I get is that they do know each other, and while they’re feeling competitive right now, I think they are also cheering for each other deep down. I mean, look at Brian (fourth from the left) grinning at the others. 

Ji Yun Seo, fifth from the left, says that the K-members are a bit better, again suggesting that they know each other a bit. Ricky (blonde) trash talks back in a combination of Korean and English. The trainees in the Space Council are edited to seem anxious about all of this. 

Kick It (G)

Zhang Hao: 22 years old, Chinese: “I’m the musical prodigy and ace leader.” 

Ricky: 18 years old, Chinese (in English): I’m young and rich, tall and handsome, Ricky.”

Ollie: 16 years old, Chinese. “I’m your chocolate! Ollie is the youngest.” 

Brian: 20 years old, Canadian “I’m Brian, with a soft voice.” 

Hao and Ricky tell the Space Council that Ollie is nervous and get the trainees to cheer for him, which they do willingly. He’s cyoo!! 

Ollie is wearing the same overalls that Yuehua’s Justin wore in Season 2 of PD101.

Everyone says that Brian is handsome, even the MNET editing team, who give him a halo. 

The judges ask Hao about his “prodigy” status, and he explains that he can play a lot of instruments and in fact studied music in university. I love it when an idol has genuine musical talent. A staffer brings out his “not that expensive” 10 million won violin (about $7,500) and he plays beautifully. Everyone enjoys the moment of classiness. And then… we begin. 

My take: I sort of fell in love with this song when it was performed by Seo Young Eun and Yoon Ji A in Girls Planet 999. I know, N-citizens are like, wut, but yeah. I did. Now I like it a lot, and have opinions as to how it should be performed. 

If you don’t do that arms up over your head movement to “New thangs! New thangs!” with the right kind of ominous, confident energy, then why do it at all?

And for me, none of them really did it quite right. Ricky has a look like he should be able to do it, but somehow, he fell a bit flat for me on stage. I bet they were all nervous, though. Ricky did that cool flip, they all had variable facial expressions, and all of them kept up the energy. Really, they all did fine, just not superb. 

Zhang Hao: He made eye contact with the camera, which a lot of other trainees were nervous to do. Obviously the best singer in the group, and he held that long note accurately -- but it didn’t exactly sound nice, if you catch me. Still, I can see why the judges give him 4 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐-- it’s not unearned. 

Ricky: He has a strange charisma, where he looks great in still photos, but somehow falls flat when he’s moving. I think he must have been a lot more nervous than he even seemed, so I’ll kind of cut him a bit of slack and see what else he can do. I think 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐ was more than fair for that -- if they had given him 2 I wouldn’t have been shocked, but maybe they bumped it up for his flippy flip. 

Ollie: Rapped very clearly, with good pronunciation on the English and what I assume was good pronunciation on the Korean. I was actually wondering if he might have spent some time in the US or Canada, and all I can find is that he was a child model, so he might have traveled around a lot. Three stars ⭐⭐⭐ again seems fair. 

Brian: Did a decent job dancing and was mostly on key/rhythm singing. He’s on his way, for sure. The judges give him 3 stars ⭐⭐⭐, which seems right, though I think some others with similar performances got lower scores.   

Backstage, the Korean Yuehua trainees note that the G-group did the same as when they (the K group) were “monitoring them” -- again implying that they train in the same building, and maybe just split up when they were prepping for this show. 

The judges hand out their stars, and the G-group members congratulate Hao (Ollie calls him Hyung, like a Korean kid would) and the other three try to be ok with their three stars. Hao vows that all four will get 4 stars next time.  

Kick It (K)

Now it’s time for the K-group to come out and also perform Kick It. Let’s get it! (1:11:10)

When they come out, the G-group Yuehua teams waves to them cheerfully from their seats in the Space Council.

Yeah, they’re totally buddies. 

K group introduce themselves:

Ji Yun Seo: (18) ”I’m the energetic Dragon leader!” 

Yoo Seung Eon: (19) “The main vocalist with a titanium voice.”

Han Yu Jin: (15) “the lovely charismatic golden maknae”

Kim Gyu Vin: (18)  “the genius you want to see every day.” 

The judges tease them about their supposed rivalry with the other half of Yuehua. Apparently, the G-group Yuehuas said that “our youngest” Han Jujin was the most likely to win an allstar.   Han Yujin checks their formation before they get started and then we get down to it. 

They do a brief intro first, featuring what must be original choreo, and then launch into their version of Kick It. 

My take:

Yoo Seung Eon really does have a fantastic voice - I think he strains a bit and could benefit from additional training, but that’s the kind of feedback someone gets when they’re actually good, like he is. He dances better than some working main vocalists, too. His mic pack seemed to come loose for him (and for most of this group) and he delt with it pretty well. For me, he was the ace of this group, but you know. MNET hates vocalists. You’ll do a great job in the Yuehua boy group that will debut in 2024, Seung Eon. I’m already a fan. 

Han Yu Jin is of course really great at dancing, and his one line was sung correctly. For me, there was something, I don’t know, stiff? one note?? about his dancing that was slightly off putting, and I don’t think he did the New Thangs part correctly. But he is a tiny baby and he’s just going to keep getting better and better with more training. 

Ji Yun Seo danced with power and precision, and his singing voice was pleasant enough. I don’t have a ton to say, but really, he’s very good.

Kim Gyu Vin is a really good dancer. I’d watch a fancam of his. His mic pack came loose right at the beginning and that’s such a fucking bummer because I think it inhibited him a bit. But you still see his power, his charisma, his attention to detail. He did that New Thangs move correctly, looking down into the camera the whole time, so good. He only sang one line, and his vocal color is kind of foggy, but he’s on key and on rhythm -- exactly what you want from a main dancer. 

The Yuehua-G group seems proud of their chingoos, and say, basically, that they feel like they didn’t know quite how good they were until now. 

MNET’s editing is hyper focused on Han Yu Jin for whatever reason, and the judges tell him he dances like one of them, so that’s big. I understand why the judges were so excited about him -- that good that young! They ask him to freestyle, and he does a freestyle popping-heavy routine that leaves the other trainees wondering how he could be that good. 

The judges are about to award their stars when Gyu Vin asks to do something else for them, specifically dance to REVEAL by The Boyz. He takes off his shoes, he’s so into it. I think he does great with this performance, too, though I can’t really tell through the editing. 

Ok, so I was watching his performance, and I said to myself, “Self,” I said, “there’s a boy who idolizes Kai from Exo.” I looked it up, and turns out I was right -- Kai is in fact one of his idols. So, good job, me.

All four of them are given All Star ranking⭐⭐⭐⭐, and I can’t disagree with any of that. The judges act as if Gyu Vin’s dance to REVEAL put him into 4 star territory, but for me Kick It already did that. The G-group Yuehua teammates seem sincerely happy for the other four. Zhang Hao in particular seems emotionally touched. 

And, yeah, overall, I’m excited for all eight of these boys to hopefully end up in a group together. I like all eight of them and think that together they’d be better than apart. 

1:23:55 Next Segment: My House

Everyone is excited when the Cube trainee comes out, and it turns out to be Bak Do Ha, in his blue satin shirt. The camera tries to zoom in on the quarter inch of exposed chest we can almost see between his lapels. Sexy sexy satin! He haltingly introduces himself by saying “With a cute face but a voice that isn’t,” which I think is a reference to his voice being deep.

He’s here to perform My House, by 2PM. This is a great song and if you’re not familiar with the original, go check it out. It’s great. The whole thing with this song is that the 2PM guys are all tall -- between 5’10 and 6’1 -- and were all fairly mature when it came out in 2015 -- they would have been between 25 and 28. It’s like, “hey pretty lady, we’re both adults, let’s go home together. Take my hand, let’s go.” The choreography is a little silly looking, so you have to deliver it with all the confidence of an ostrich doing its mating dance. 

20-year old Bak Do Ha is not as confident as an ostrich, because he’s not as good a dancer as an ostrich, and he has one of those uncomfortable deep voices that are a little hard to coax into melody. Good looking guy, though, and he seems to charm Lip J into wanting to take his hand, but mostly what his dance inspires is laughter. Perhaps they’re not exactly laughing at him, though -- they’re laughing at “the other guy.” 

That’s when we, the audience, find out that what actually happened, in real time, was this: red-shirt wearing 23-year-old Jung Min Gyu, from an agency I’ve never heard of called CABIN74, came out first, performed My House by 2pm, and then shortly thereafter, Bak Do Ha came out and did the same song. But for no real reason, the MNET editors were just like WHAT IS TIME? WHAT IS CHRONOLOGY? and decided to tell the story in flashback. 

So now we get to see Jung Min Gyu’s attempt. It’s even worse than Doha’s version, for kind of the same reasons -- he seems embarrassed of the song, embarrassed of his sexy satin shirt, embarrassed to be singing and dancing in front of judges. He seems relieved when they laugh at him, because he had expected them to be silently angry. Poor guy. CABIN74 is a newish agency, and mostly made news for signing, and then losing, a member of T-ARA. I think they mostly have actors under their banner, and maybe this guy really wants to be an actor. I mean, I hope he does. He claims his specialty is “Changing facial expressions quickly” and that his favorite song is by Barry Manilow. So, yeah. It would make sense if he were trying to be an actor, not really an idol. 

The other thing about their performances is that this choreography, like a lot of choreography, looks really silly all by itself. Perhaps because of this, the judges ask Mingyu (red) to come up and join Doha (blue) and they dance together -- Mingyu takes off his shoes because they’re “slippery” --  and it’s obvious to everyone that they look much better together than they did on their own…. but that they’re still not good. 

Apparently this moment has gone viral, and I mean, sure, it was fun. 

My take is that it’s not good in a genuine way -- I feel like we’re laughing at them, not with them. I think it was mean to have either of them perform alone and it was mean to give them this song. That’s my take. 

Both trainees get zero stars, which is harsh but fair.

1:31:57 Team Hot 

This Chinese team wearing red outfits consists of Wang Yan Hong, 24, and Yang Jun, 23. Neither appears to be signed to an agency. 

My take: 

Yeah, this isn’t so good. They wander from the key and rush the rhythm really badly, the high notes are too high for them, and they have not great vocal color. They aren’t synchronized in their dancing, and this choreo looks silly done by done two people instead of 13. They are committed and have decent facial expressions, and they don’t laugh or otherwise undercut themselves, but yeah, this isn’t great. 

But I think the reason that people kind of like this performance in a weird way (the existence of this video argues that point) is that they’re human beings trying their best, doing something they’re maybe not that great at. There’s something charming about a real human. Yoo Seung Eon from Yuehua, the one with the “titanium voice,” seems somehow super human when he sings. Maybe we don’t always want titanium idols; we want idols who are flesh and blood. Hence the fame of William Hung, hence the win of Kim So-hye in PD101-1, hence the rise of singing groups in kpop who really can’t sing (I shall name no names because I enjoy being alive). 

Oh boy, the MNET editing makes them look even worse. Anyone would look bad if you interrupt and replay 2 seconds every 5 seconds. In the full-cam Youtube version, you can hear that the Space Council cheers when Yan Hong and Jun finish, but in the MNET editing, they end to complete silence. I don’t know why MNET editing, and the judges, went so hard against these two. They weren’t that much worse than anyone else. Yes, they earned their zero stars fairly, but there was no reason to be so cruel. They were gentle with Jung Min Gyu, the red-shirted My House performer -- maybe because he’s Korean. 

Criminal I

Next up is Lee Dong Gun, one of two trainees who audition with Taemin’s Criminal.

Donggun is only 17 and admires both of the male dance masters, and is clearly here in his capacity as a dancer. No mention is made of his young age, or his bravery at performing alone, or the difficulty of trying to do a cover of a song originally performed by arguably the best dancer in all of kpop. Nope, no reason to mention any of that. Instead, let’s play only his worst high notes, edit it to make it comical and insulting, and then focus on the judges saying things like he was never on key for a single moment. 

You guys, check out the full cam on youtube. He’s 90% on key for the first minute or so, and yeah, after the one minute mark it goes off the rails. But watch it on mute if you have to. His dancing is good. These are intricate, strange, varied movements he’s doing, and he’s doing it with commitment and bravery. The notes are wrong, but he sings them with some lung strength. Compare his singing to that of Haruto, who the judges inexplicably gave a 4-star rating despite his horrible, terrible, no good singing. Compare Donggun’s singing to that of Taemin or Kai when they debuted, or Sehun when… now. Sehun now. (Sorry, all. I’m Exo-L, I’m allowed to say this.) 

Heck, compare Donggun’s singing to that of any MR removed performance of pretty much any non-SM boy group. Enhypen springs to mind as a group whose MR removed videos don’t exactly show them in a great light. Why? Because they’re DANCERS. I like Enhypen a lot, and will delightedly watch Niki and Jay fancams. But I don’t fool myself that they’re singers. Come on, Engenes, you know it’s true. 

So my point is…. I guess my point is, I don’t know why I put myself through watching these shows. The judging is so random and the editing is so awful. Why does Haruto get off scot free and they come down so hard on poor Donggun? I don’t get it. 

Anyway, they give Donggun 1 star ⭐.

Then we get a montage of bad singers, none of whom are as bad as Haruto was. We see:

Jeon Woo Seok, performing Criminal 

Wen Ye Chen, part of the Call Me Baby team

Jang Min Seo and Jung Se Yun Performing Damdadi by Golden Child, their Woolim sunbaes 

Osuke and Yuki performing Crown by TXT

Then we get a montage of harsh judges comments about their singing, followed by a general admonition to the Space Council to be better singers, which pisses me off for a lot of reasons.

First off, there’s nothing they can do about it right now, you dumb dumbs. It’s probably 2 or 3 in the morning, and they’ve been there for 22 hours. They’re 16 or 18 or 20 years old. They’re terrified and undertrained. You yelling at them will not make them better singers, right now, in the remaining minutes or hours before they stand before you. 

Also, and while I hold the opinion that Kpop singing has gotten terrible across the board and I would like to see more groups like EXO who can actually fucking sing, like is that too much to ask??, I also know, as these boys must know, that singing in Kpop is low key optional. Hell, look at how the MNET editing is already pushing Haruto at us and hiding how bad his singing is. If I were them, I’d be genuinely angry to be yelled at at this point. 

Anyway. Deep breaths.

I watched all four of these performances so you don’t have to. Let me give you the dealie. 

Criminal II performed by Jeon Woo Seok

He was really committed to the performance -- I mean, peep the bare feet, the binding on his hands, and expression. He had his hands tied together for the whole first half, and tore off his binding with his teeth. If you watch it on mute, it all actually looks pretty good! I bet his idol Taemin would see something to complement here. Watch the position of his hands and feet -- he really is doing the thing.  He’s 19 years old and he dances some difficult choreography with maturity and grace. He doesn’t crack up or giggle at having to be sexy. He just does it. He had the same commitment that Shim Seungeun had when she did Paradise Lost in GP999.   

Yep, his singing was in fact, egregious. Both off key and off rhythm. Unforgivably bad. But Haruto’s was worse. The judges were just wrong to give him 0 stars.

Call Me Baby

Krystian, 23, was also on Youth With You 3, and was regarded very well on that show. Judges gave him 2 stars ⭐⭐.

Wen Ye Chen is 22. The judges gave him 1 star⭐. His finger looks weird in the picture because he was moving.

Chen Yu Geng, 24, is also known as Crayon. The judges gave him 1 star ⭐. 

Chen Jian Yu, 24, got 1 star ⭐. 

My take:

As a big Exo-L, I didn’t hate their performance. I love this song -- in fact, it might be my favorite Exo title track??? --  but I’m the first to admit the choreo is really weird, and for the most part, I think these guys pulled it off. I won’t say seek it out and watch it, but it’s really not that bad. 

Wen Yu Chen was the main vocalist, and he was stepping in the footsteps of vocal giants. Who among us can sing Kyungsoo’s “Hey girl”? For the majority of the time, he was totally on key and fine, you guys. His voice sounded a bit thick to me, the way people’s voices sound when they’re straining or a little sick. But he hit a lot of the notes and danced the steps. I think 2 stars would have been fairer. 

Krystian was a little flat, but he actually has a nice husky vocal color, and there’s something sort of just compelling about him. I looked into him, and on Youth With You he auditioned as a rapper. I think that he stepped up to the plate to sing because someone had to, and did his best. I’m glad he got 2 stars -- it could have been worse. 

Crayon and Jian Yu didn’t stand out to me in any particular way, but weren’t ear shattering or anything.

Damdadi performed by Jang Min Seo (16, left) and Jung Se Yun (15, right).

Jang Min Seo has already left the show, citing extreme knee pain, but maybe it was because the judges were so cruel to him and to Se Yun. Se Yun is the third youngest on the whole show, just a month older than Takuto and 5 months younger than Yuehua’s monster rookie Han Yu Jin. Like, hey, if you’re going to have high school sophomores on this show, can you at least not be mean to them? 

I wasn’t familiar with this song, but I listened to the original and I feel like they were doing their best to emulate their sunbaenim. The song was well chosen for them, youthful and cute, and I think they brought nice energy to it. They both danced so hard their nametags fell off! I think they both had a little trouble with some of the footwork, and lost their balance a few times. But they both stayed on key as far as I could tell, and Se Yun rapped really fast. And if Min Seo was in horrible knee pain, you can’t really tell in the audition -- he keeps smiling. Poor kids. 

The judges gave them both zero stars. I think 1 star would have been fair. 

Crown by TXT performed by Osuke (19, darker hair) and Yuki (21, lighter hair), both from Japan

Ah, what a great song. Not a great performance. 

Sometimes they sang sharp, sometimes they sang flat. They may have had trouble finding the key since it had been transposed lower. When you’re used to a song in a certain key, as they probably are used to the original version of this song, it’s hard to switch to a different key sometimes. You have to take your cue from what you’re hearing in your headset, and maybe they had trouble doing that. Or maybe they just have trouble… you know… singing. 

The dancing felt kind of cursory to me, as well. If you’re going to make a heart with your hands or arms, you have to do that long enough and with enough sharpness that I can get a screenshot of it. 

Osuke got 1 star⭐, and I’m not sure how he was better than Jeon Woo Seok (who performed Criminal barefoot).

Yuki got 0 stars, which seems fair.  

Ok, so our “bad singers montage” is over. The judges congratulate themselves on having yelled at their young trainees. 

1:38:25 Final Stretch

The sun has set (filming began in early December, so if the sun was setting it was around 5pm) and many trainees have not yet auditioned. Assuming an average of 2 trainees per song and 10 minutes per audition, it would take around 500 minutes (8 hours, 20 minutes) to see them all. Hey, here’s a thought, MNET -- film this over two days. You could make them all wear the same clothes for the two days and pretend like you filmed it all on one day, but just give it two days so you aren’t filming until 3am and making your young trainees sick. 

All I Wanna Do 

Next up is Seok Matthew, from Canada. Brian, the Canadian Yuehua trainee, cheers loudly, and other trainees seem very welcoming. The judges say he looks like Xiumin, validating me at a level I had not expected. 

What do you all think? Does Matthew look like Xiumin? 

Before Matthew can perform, we get a flashback to earlier in the day. Turns out that Sung Han Bin, who will be performing next, knows Matthew from when they trained at Cube together. (Which also suggests that they might both know Hui.) Hyung Hanbin is super supportive of Matthew, and waits back stage as Matthew performs.

My take:

Overall, I think he’s great. He sounds a bit sharp to me a lot of the time, which could be nerves -- he really did sound nervous. He has a lot of charm somehow that just makes him fun to watch. Maybe it’s the North American in me reacting to the North American in him -- I like how natural he seems on stage. He doesn’t sound out of breath even though he’s dancing pretty hard.  

The editing makes him look even better. Aww, Hanbin is shedding relieved tears backstage! How sweet. The judges are weirdly in line with me on this. They say he’s a bit sharp, which, yes, and fun to watch. They give Matthew three stars ⭐⭐⭐, which disappoints the Space Council, but I think it’s fair, or at least it would have been if other people who were worse than him hadn’t gotten four stars.  

Beautiful Beautiful At 1:45:45

HanBin comes out and says that he spent two years as a backup dancer, specializing in tutting and waacking. Naturally, LipJ challenges him to a waacking battle and it’s really fun to watch. The editing makes it almost impossible to tell what they’re actually doing, alas, but it’s still fun. 

Then the judges ask him why he didn’t check off “vocal” on his intake form (shown below with a translation). He says that he isn’t confident about his vocals and wants to work on them here. 

He also says that during the years he spent as a backup dancer, he wondered if he could ever make it as an idol. Hey, HanBin, have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? 

He didn’t check off “visual” on his application form!! Just “dance” and “choreography.” Wild!! (Here is a screenshot of the part of the form they showed, with my translations below it.)

My take:

Ok, as a full on Fuse (fan of ONF), I am so psyched that their songs are being seen and heard more often. Beautiful Beautiful is such an ONF song -- it’s hard to imagine anyone else doing a song like this. If you don’t really know ONF, you might know the “smiley boy” who did a dance cover of Hype Boy at a military talent show? That’s J-US from ONF, who looks great with a shaved head.

Anyway, I love this song. 

And I liked this performance!  Boy was I wrong about this pretty boy -- he can dance and mostly sing! I’d give him 3.5 stars for dance, 3 stars for performance, and like 2.5 stars for singing. So I’d give him 3 stars overall, and yeah, that’s what the judges give him ⭐⭐⭐. I felt like he was a tiny bit stiff, holding back a little, and a few of his movements kind of don’t play as well as they could.  But the changes he made to the choreo to include more tutting style moves actually work really well with the choreo as it stood. He has both power and control and looks great on stage. Born to be a K-idol. 

That’s kind of what the judges say too -- that during his performance he seemed a tiny bit flat compared to when he was waacking with LipJ.  The judges praise his singing too. So I’m like, 2-for-30 with the judges today.

Hanbin seems perfectly happy with three stars, which makes him look like a real sweet guy. Wow, he’s pretty, and humble, and skillful? Hanbin is so making the final lineup, don’t you think? (I’m saying this only having watched the first episode -- this is a prediction based on what I’m seeing, not a spoiler.)

The judges say that any agency that had both Hanbin and Matthew must have been good, and the camera cuts to Hui, with the caption “proud of Cube.” Um, I bet not. Every trainee at Cube hates Cube. 

Cry Time: Shine 1:53:55

Next out are Ichika(30), Itsuki (16), and Ouju(18) all Japanese trainees. Yes, Ichika is 30 -- he’s about 10 months older than Hui. The average age of the trainees, according to my spreadsheet, is 20. But he doesn’t look out place here. Part of the joy of a song like Shine is that you’re kind of supposed to look like mismatched dorks, all different heights and styles. 

But of course, they’re not really here to audition, at least not according to the MNET editors. They’re here to make Hui cry by performing Shine. Well, they’re here to make the entire Space Council cry.

So first, I'll explain why Shine would make Hui cry, for anyone who doesn’t know. Shine was a huge hit, and rightfully so. It was so beloved. For some reason, it didn’t win any music show awards, but whatever, it was a bonafide hit. And then E’Dawn got kicked out, and E’Dawn was a major sort of “face” of the group. Tons of scandal. Fans saying they’d boycott them if E’Dawn didn't get kicked out, and other fans saying they’d boycott them if E’Dawn DID get kicked out. And their next few songs just didn’t chart, despite being great. The guys must have thought they were at the start of a major break through, and then it looked like they were more like one-hit wonders. 

For Hui, thinking back to Shine, back to that time when it looked like they were going to be big, when everything seemed possible, but knowing that it all crashed and burned…. Yeah, it would make me teary do. I mean, it does make me teary. I mean, I am crying.   

When they’re done performing, the judges ask Hui what he thought of their performance, and he doesn’t really give any feedback. He just says, “I had a great time watching your performance, and I was grateful as the original artist. Thank you.” Then he bows like, 120 degrees to them. 

My take on their actual performance: 

If you watch their practice video, there were originally six of them performing together, and apparently three of them were sick or injured or something. I’m not clear on that yet. So they had to scramble and redistribute the lines and remake the choreo at the last minute. I won’t go too hard on them. 

Ouju’s voice cracked several times. Ichika was off key most of the time, but he does do the heavy lifting, singing a lot of the lines. Itsuki’s vocals were also not fantastic. But they all brought that silly, “I’m a dork” energy to the choreo that you have to bring for this song, and they all kept going and didn’t give up. It’s actually kind of fun watching them, as unpleasant as it is to listen to them. 

The MNET editing is kind, actually. 

The judges give Ouju and little Itsuki no stars, and give tall Ichika one star⭐. That seems about right. 

As of 1:57:00 it looks like Hui might be going next, but if you know MNET at all you know he won’t really perform until next time. They sure do find some clips to make it look like he does poorly and gets zero stars or something. 

And that’s pretty much the end of the episode, except for the live ranking! Here’s the ranking. Trainees who I haven’t mentioned or seen before will be in italics; I’ll try to give you a reminder as to who the rest are. 

Sung Han Bin - pretty tutting boy 

Kim Ji Woong - we saw him in the audience often, for example wishing he could go to university in Winnie’s place

Han Yu Jin - the young phenom from the Korean Kick It team 

Lee Da Eul - walked in first

Kim Gyu Vin - the very confident dancer from Korean Kick It

Lee Hoe Taek - Hui

Zhang Hao - the leader/good singer from G-group Kick It

Anthonny - the cutey from Glitch Mode

Kim Taerae 

Cha Woong Ki - we haven’t met him but he debuted as Woonggi in T01

Hiroto (not Haruto!)

Ricky - the blonde tall guy from G-group Kick It

Lee Seung Hwan

Keita - debuted with Ciipher

Park Gun Wook - sexy guy from Jellyfish and GBTB

Ma Jing Xiang 

Oh Sung Min - We haven’t met him, but he debuted as Jerome in T01

Seo Won -we haven’t met him but he debuted in NINE.i 

Lim Jun Seo - came in first 

Takuto - little boxer

Krystian - on the Call Me Baby team

Zhang Shui Bo

Ollie - in the overalls, G-group Kick It

Mun Jung Hyun- we saw him in the audience a few times

Dang Hong Hai - blonde Vietnamese guy from View

Lee Dong Yeol - we haven’t met him but he’s in Up10tion as Xiao

Bak Do Ha - blue shirt “My House”

Chen Jian Yu - on Call Me Baby team

Wang Zi Hao

Jay - excellent American singer

Kum Jun Hyeon - fought for chair 1

Seok Matthew - Canadian, went by himself toward the end

Xuan Hao - blonde member of Team God’s Menu

Park Han Bin

Lee Jeong Hyeon

Yuki - lighter haired “Crown” by TXT performer 

Brian - on Kick It - G team

Lee Hwan Hee - we haven’t met him, but he’s a member of Up10tion and has an amazing voice that a lot of people agree sounds a lot like Baekyhun from Exo so of course I think he’s great

Haruto - amazing dancer, cutey pie, bad singing, All Star

Park Hyun Been - rapper on team GBTB

Choi Woo Jin

Cai Jin Xin

Lee Dong Gun - performed Criminal wearing shoes

Yoo Seung Eon - “titanium voice” singer on Kick It -K

Lee YeDam - saw him in the audience a few times

Choi Seung Hun

Park JiHoo - told Hui “I just got here” 

Jung Ho Jin

Wumuti - ethnic Uyghur from China 

Jung Min Gyu - red shirt My House guy

Jang Yeo Jun - on team GBTB

Jeong I Chan - we haven’t met him but he was on I-LAND (as Jaeboem)

Haru 

Chen Kuan Jui - super flexible guy 

Choi Ji Ho

Wen Ye Chen - main vocal on Call Me Baby team

Yutaka 

Ichika - tallest member of Team Shine

Chen Ren You - my favorite in Tiger Inside

Jeon Woo Seok - barefoot Criminal performer

Park Gwan Young

Hyo

Osuke- on team Crown by TXT

Park Min Seok

Itsuki - wore the hat in Shine

Cong - brown haired Vietnamese trainee from View

Ouju - voice cracker from Shine

Jung Se Yun - the short haired member of team Damdadi

Yuto

Han Seo Bin

Nice - the shy no-eye contact Thai guy

Jang Ji Ho - we haven’t met him but he debuted in NINE.i 

Yoon Jong Woo

Han Yu Seop - from team GBTB

Chen Yu Geng/Crayon - blonde member of Call Me Baby

Kei

Winnie - Thai guy who turned down university to do Kpop

Kim Min Seoung 

Wang Yan Hong - on team HOT by SVT

Min - Thai member of Glitch Mode

Jeon Ho Young

Na Kamden - was partnered with Jay 

Chen Liang - on God’s Menu

Yang Jun - on team HOT by SVT

Toui

Ji Yun Seo - the leader of team Kick It-K

Hong Kong Hee

Qiu Shen Yang- blonde member of team Tiger Inside

Lin Shi Yuan - red haired member of God’s Menu who rushed the rhythm so much

Kim Min Hyuk

Dong Dong - from Team Tiger Inside

Feng Jun Lan - dark haired member of God’s Menu who I thought was pretty good

Riku - we only saw him get his seat stolen

Ok, that’s it! Thanks for reading. 

Here's Episode 2's recap, right here.

[creepyscritches]

I’ve been trying to pick up crochet, but I really struggle with like. Doing more than one line? I keep ending up almost knitting with the crochet hook, and, in general, getting lost and dropping stitches. Do you have any tips for a beginner?

I'm actually not that experienced myself! I used to crochet a little in high school, but my autoimmune illness started disabling my hands, so this is the first time I'm coming back to it after 10 years (thank youuuu vanderbilt)

Personally I prefer to crochet in the round (a continuous spiral) rather than in rows since I like to make little dudes. I think it's more satisfying and I like to see the shape of boy form as I work further through a pattern.

It was super apparent to me that my basics were severely lacking, so I spent a few weeks following along w free pattern tutorials on YouTube (all the jellyfish were my lesson projects!). The jellyfish I've been making were super helpful when it came to learning the basic stitches for creating dudes and it's a fabulous first stop if you're trying to build your foundations. Here's a link to the video (the lady is very good at explaining how to keep track of your loops)

Another life saver for me was incorporating stitch markers. They're used to help you keep track of where you are and when a round begins and ends. You can buy stitch markers online or you can use household items like bobby pins, safety pins, or paperclips. You just loop em around the first stitch of a row to have a concrete stopping point in a stitch sequence.

Hmmm what else.....uhhh yarn needles are really helpful too! I use them a lot when attaching pieces to a body or picking out a stitch I bunked up. Easy to thread since the eyes are so wide and they're great for embroidering patterns over finished base shapes.

If you want to make amigurumi styled work, hook size is important as it determines if your stitches are close enough to keep stuffing from peeking out. Pretty much all yarn labels will have a recommended hook size on them--your amigurumi hook size will be at least one size smaller, but I tend to end up using 1.5mm - 2.5mm smaller. It really varies yarn to yarn, but a couple of test rounds will let you know very early if you have the right size.

It gets naturally easier over time to tell where certain stitches are and what type they are when looking over worked yarn sections--my eyes were CROSSED at first, but it's gotten a lot easier with just a month of practice and I'm starting to incorporate new more difficult strategies and stitch types into off the cuff patterns. Remember, done is better than perfect! Just get that thang made, baby! The next one will be even easier!