#FOR NATHANIEL AND RYDER OFC I CANT SING ANY MORE PRAISES FOR IT CAUSE I AM BIASED I JUST WANT TO CAPTURE THE VIBES SO BADLY I AM LIKE INSAN

[ma1dmer]

omg its Nathaniel!!! anyways i cannot stand to look at this any longer, i am so rusty but i wanted so badly to write something that captured how lovely that kiss looks...

Nathaniel slumps against the exposed brick wall, wincing as his bruised back and shoulders meet the rough grit. Unpleasant even through the thick layer of his jacket. He makes no effort to move away. He swallows and finally catches his breath for what seems like the first time tonight. Speaking of. Tonight had been a disaster. The kind of disaster that would play in his head for quite some time, providing a nice backdrop for the next few months of self-imposed paranoia and misery. Fun!

His hands shake as he brings an unlit cigarette to his lips, he ignores the bloody imprint left on the paper, not caring much to catalogue whether it was his or not, and if it was where exactly it came from. That'd be a tomorrow problem. Just as everything else. Tomorrow, when the adrenaline had fully worn off and everything ached sharply. When the fact he made it out alive to begin with, settled nicely over his shoulders like the blade of a guillotine.

He hears the rush of footsteps somewhere from the floors above, closes his eyes and braces for the worst as he fishes out his lighter, not remotely ready for another fight but not having it in him to keep running. When he opens them again he catches Ryder right as he skips down the last few steps, white knuckling the railing, dark eyes wide and frantic. Their gazes meet. And whatever tension seemed to line his face eases out of him with a long exhale. He stares at Nathaniel as if he wasn't quite expecting to see him down here.

"Shit" He sighs out, dropping to sit on one of the steps, close enough to Nathaniel that their knees bump together. Close enough that Nathaniel could touch him. Ryder looks up at him, dual coloured strands sticking to his sweaty forehead. Nathaniel's fingers twitch at his side with the urge to push the strands away from his face. He doesn't. “That was-" "Let’s not" Nathaniel cuts him off quickly, waving away the smoke he accidentally blew towards him. He stops finally to give him a pointed stare.

"Did you pack up everything?" He asks instead. He knows they'll have to talk about it, if not for each other, for the report they'll have to make if they wanted to see any money from this shit show of a job, but Nathaniel was just not prepared for it right now. Ryder's lips press into a thin disapproving line. Without his usual smile, he looked more his age, Nathaniel thought absently, more of the trained professional killer he was, rather than the reckless college kid he sometimes liked to portray himself as. "I did, but didn't have time for anything else" he answers curtly. Nathaniel thinks for a second. "Well, we'll just have to add a bribing section to our plans next time" he shrugs. Ryder's ensuing snort is dry and humourless. "You don't say"

When Nathaniel shifts forward again, Ryder catches his grimace of pain before he can turn away. "I could help patch you up" he says before Nathaniel can tell him to drop it again. He sighs. "You will" he smiles as much as he's able to now, he hopes it comes across playful. "Just-" he swallows. "Just give me a second" he hates being like this, hates being seen like this, knows he should be way past this point in his career. He wasn't some newbie biting off more than he could chew. He knew the truth of course, even if he hated nothing more than to admit it. He'd gotten comfortable and careless and more importantly he'd learnt to rely far too much on someone else. He pushes that bitter thought as deeply into the crevices of his mind as possible, before it starts to fester. Not tonight.

"Thank you for coming for me" he says instead of spiraling. Ryder takes a second to look at him, eyes searching around his features for something that Nathaniel hopes he doesn't find. He nods finally. slowly, a silent aknowledgement. "I think I need a drink after all that" he leans back, stretches out his legs and pushes his hair out of his eyes. Nathaniel has never felt more thankful to have a subject change so quickly, realizes he'd been letting the cigarette burn between his fingers all this time, throws it away with a flick of his wrist before the flame reaches his skin, not caring much about the potential fire hazard.

"Deal" he says forcing cheer onto the monotone of his voice. "On me today" he says eager to get out of there, smile more steady now. "I could kiss you just for that" Ryder sighs out happily as he slaps his hands on his thighs and stands up. "And you'd have no objection from me" Nathaniel responds, easy and quick. They look at each other for a long bit. Tense and winded and fraying at the edges.

It’s not clear who moves first. If its Nathaniel or Ryder but they meet somewhere in the middle. A clash of lips and teeth and Nathaniel exhales in relief, his arms wrapping around Ryder's waist, beneath that ridiculous cropped jacket he'd made fun of at the start of the night, a thought so ridiculously far away from their current state that it makes him want to laugh. ("it's vintage" Nathaniel can still hear Ryder's complaint in his head) Ryder walks them backwards, hands at the back of his neck, until his back meets the wall, Nathaniel quick to follow and press himself fully against his front. It's all messy and lacking the finesse of their previous impromptu kisses. A give and take of touch and feel and taste, their breathing coming up in short claustophobic huffs.

Ryder pulls away first, thumping his head back against the wall in the process, which Nathaniel does laugh at. Quick against the corner of Ryder's mouth before he traces the line of his jaw with his teeth, tasting his sweat and the bitter tang of his cologne. He cups the back of Ryder's head, hopefully stopping him from hitting his head again, hopefully messing his hair up even more. "We should get going" he says lazily his words slightly slurred now that he feels his body cooling down. "We should" Ryder mirrors his tone when Nathaniel drops his head on his shoulder, breath hot against his neck.

smoochies

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