#FOLKS WE GOT A WHODUNNIT ON OUR HANDS

[halscafe]

monarchal summit minor spoilers!

call sweetheart alexander hamilton with how they were in the room where it happened 💀

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #31 - Ammo and the Anti-Glowup

So, the Lost Light disappeared, stranding all the crew in space in their little escape pods. 200-some robots just lost their homes and worldly possessions. That’s absolutely horrible. What a devastating thing to happen.

Anyway, here’s Drift with a flashback sequence.

No hips, fingers all the exact same length, hockey pucks embedded in his forearms- Rojo, this is a crime you’ve committed. When will the long arm of the law stop your sinful, pancake-shaped hands?

About two years prior to current events, Drift, Riptide, and Pipes- yes, Pipes!- were wandering around trying to find a ship for the space yacht trip. The gang’s here to see who owns the big honkin’ ship outside. Problem is, Drift is unintentionally terrifying because he has a great deal of swords.

Now, you may say to yourself “isn’t it a bit odd that the species that has members who literally turn into guns would be nervous around a guy with swords?” This is a valid critique, until you remember that at least some of the folks who turn into guns were born that way, and Drift was very much NOT born bladed the fuck out. There’s an entire miniseries devoted to explaining this, it’s called Drift. The swords are a choice, one that he makes every day.

Drift is willing to pay an honestly absurd amount of money for the ship, if he can just find the dude with the paperwork- don’t ask where he got the money. Pipes isn’t being terribly helpful in finding them, so Riptide decides that now is the time to start practicing being proactive and pulls a Coyote Ugly.

No, no, he doesn’t.

He does climb up on a table and start yelling for the ship’s owners to reveal themselves, though. Which they do.

Now it’s time for the world-building portion of our comic issue. Let’s learn about chirolinguistics.

Drift, staying true to his Mary Sue nature, uses his near-perfect Hand skills to strike up a deal with the owners of the ship. This would be impressive, if it didn’t just look like the most convoluted hand-holding session in the friggin’ universe.

Still, Drift is rich enough to make Jeff Bezos weep with envy, so the arrangements are made and the lads go on their way, talking some mad shit about the original name of the ship as they do.

So it is revealed to us that the Lost Light is named after a festival for honoring the dead and disappeared, which makes the fact that Rewind and Chromedome were there all the more sad.

Back in the present, Megatron tells Riptide to shut up so they can figure out what the hell they’re going to do about this whole “our home and also ride has ceased to exist” situation. He’s putting an awful lot of distance between himself and the rest of the Autobots as he does it, something that isn’t lost on the more bitter people of the crowd.

But why were we even talking about the Lost Light in the first place? Not to reminisce, believe it or not. See, it’s time for Nautica to get a little panel time, and she’s going to use it to be a massive fucking nerd and explain how the quantum engines work. As she does, Ratchet notes that his hands feel funny. Must be the weight of his hand-stealing sins manifesting itself in his joints.

Nautica explains that the engines run off of improbability- it is highly unlikely, but not impossible, that the ship can reach light speed, and riding the fine line between what can happen and what can’t, results in the creation of power for the engines. If this sounds familiar, it’s because Brainstorm gave us a watered down version of this explanation back in issue #2. If it sounds familiar for a different reason, it’s because this is how the Heart of Gold runs in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Again, I’m not sure why it is that the British love this concept so much, but there you are.

Oh, it appears someone has a question. Let’s see what they want to know about, shall we?

…Rojo, what the fuck is this.

Our muppety friend here isn’t too keen on how much of a smarmy asshole Nightbeat is being right now, though I’d assume it actually has something to do with the fact that Nightbeat got smacked around with the pretty-boy stick while Getaway very much did not. While the two bicker- there’s a lot of bickering in Season Two- Nautica presents a theory on what happened to the ship; it went too far in the direction of “can’t” and made itself cease to be.

Megatron gives not a shit about quantum improbability, though. He only cares about how they’re going to get out of this mess. Which, y’know. Valid.

Blaster picks up a radio from Rodimus, who tells the gang that they’re to meet up on a nearby planet to regroup and figure out their next move. The call drops before he can get more than a couple Megatron-directed insults in, however. Megatron, in response, tries to be the bigger person, and almost immediately fails. We do get a headcount though, which is good, logistically speaking. This information is communicated to us by way of a splash page full of character head shots. We’ve got 20 ‘bots on board this ship.

Yep. 20. No more, no less.

As our friends approach the planet, we’re informed that it’s actually a Lectureworld- a planet devoted to the study of a single field. Except it’s actually a Smartplanet now, and it’s been privatized by the Galactic Council, so you’ve got to pay to go there. Cyclonus thinks that that’s bullshit, and I can’t help but agree. Crosscut tries to network with they guy about his play, probably because word got around that Cyclonus is rich as hell, when the lights cut out. When they come back on, Crosscut is nowhere to be found.

It’s time for a Whodunnit.

Tailgate immediately pegs Megatron as the culprit in this disappearance, and breaks out a gun over the matter. Megatron thinks that this is absolutely adorable, which only serves to further infuriate our marshmallow friend. I guess he’s still mad about the whole “I was a Decepticon for five minutes and got brainwashed over it” thing, and wants someone to pin the anger on who’s socially acceptable to hate.

Cyclonus and Ratchet both think that Tailgate’s not going about this the right way, but the guy is simply too het up to listen to them. Tailgate suggests that they lock Megatron in the engine room for the time being and-

OKAY WHO LET HIM HAVE THAT

Riptide breaks out his gun, and soon we’ve got a standoff going between the three of them. Cyclonus tries to deescalate, which makes Gears and Huffer break out their guns. Then Hound breaks out his gun, though he seems to be doing his own thing, by pointing it in Nautica’s direction.

Broski, I think that might be animal cruelty.

Megatron manages to shoot Ravage “unconscious” and catches him by the friggin’ throat, stating that he has zero idea how this guy got here. With the heat off the two of them for a moment, Megatron communicates to Ravage to play ‘possum for the time being. Ravage responds, and I wonder exactly how he’s doing that, considering I don’t think he has enough fingers to effectively utilize Hand as a language. Or fingers at all, really.

While this is going on, Cyclonus snatches the gun out of Tailgate’s hand, admonishing him for being reckless about picking his fights. Generally speaking, you don’t want to try to go toe-to-toe with a guy who’s responsible for the deaths of literal billions. Getaway swoops in to comfort Tailgate, calling him gutsy. I wonder if this will become a trend.

Swerve says a thing, as he is wont to do, and it’s made known that multiple folks have disappeared during this incredibly brief standoff.

Wow, Chromedome just fucked off, huh? He wasn’t even in that sequence, just left.

Everyone’s positively baffled by the current happenings. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to who’s being taken. I guess we’ve got a mystery on our hands.

And who better to solve a mystery than a detective?

Nightbeat wrangles all the leftover folks into a corner of the room, so they can figure out what the common denominator is with all the disappearees. He starts with the easy stuff.

And by “easy”, I mean the super-special racism Tyrest subscribed to.

If you’ve read Eugenesis, you know that Nightbeat was also part of the first wave of cold-constructed bodies there. However, the general populace wasn’t nearly as chill about it as they were in IDW. Also, Wheeljack was his dad. No word on if that particular tidbit made it into IDW lore.

It’s at this point that we learn about M.T.O.s- made to order soldiers. They were cold-constructed ‘bots created en masse during the war in order to keep up with the demands for troops. Pretty fucked up, if you think about it, being born to die like that.

Now where have we heard that name before…

Chromedome, can your love life not be part of the plot for five minutes, my guy?

Nautica makes the honestly horrific claim that a lot of folks owe their existence to Megatron being a warmongering fuck, and even Megatron himself seems rather uncomfortable with the idea. Some thoughts we keep to ourselves, Nautica, even if they might be technically true. And even if Ammo wants to tack on his two cents on the matter.

What did they DO to you, Ammo? You’re supposed to be hot! Where are my three-paragraphs of description as Hound stares slack jawed the entire time? I miss Polyhex Wars.

Anyway, it’s Megatron’s turn to get poked with the questioning stick, and he’s not having it. He claims that by revealing his mode of creation, he’s risking a repeat of Functionist ideology. This would be valid, if people weren’t literally disappearing without any sort of explanation as to why. As it is, he’s being a stubborn asshole, but I guess he didn’t get his reputation by being a decent person who knew when to back down, now did he?

It’s at this point that Ratchet remembers he knows all the info Nightbeat’s looking for, and the conversation on Megatron’s birth is shelved for another day. I’m sure it won’t be a major plot point later, not in the slightest.

As it turns out, Nightbeat’s theory doesn’t hold water, and folks are still popping out of existence. We get another splash page, this time with everyone’s mode of creation listed under their names, and we move on to other theories about what the fuck is going on. While Nightbeat has a minor crisis over what the answer could possibly be, the MTOs in the group reminisce on the Ten-Step Program, a series of tests they were put through to make sure they worked well enough to get handed a gun and shoved out the door. Riptide wasn’t a fan.

Riptide has more wood panelling than a 70’s-style ranch house, and I think that’s very brave of him.

It’s at this point that Ratchet remembers it’s been quite a bit since he last shat on religion, and takes the time to do so while informing the reader about Information Creep. This is a concept we’ve seen mentioned previously, during Chromedome’s runaround in Overlord’s brain, but it’s here where we get the juicy implications.

Because memories can become corrupted in the brain due to extreme age, what ought to be objective fact has to be reinterpreted due to missing pieces. This is why nobody knows what the Knights of Cybertron got up to, or if they’re even actually real at all.

The lights go out again, and when they cut back on, Cyclonus is missing, leaving only his sword behind. Tailgate is extremely distraught by this, but Nightbeat gives not a fuck about Tailgate’s impending breakdown. He only cares about the truth!

And then a giant eyeball shows up.

It’s Ultra Magnus, coming to us live from his shuttle, via holomatter avatar! He shrinks down to a far more reasonable size, in a panel reminiscent of the first time IDW readers saw Megatron.

Don’t get me wrong, this is a neat parallel, I’m just… not terribly sure why it’s happening. One could say it reflects a reversal in power dynamics, but that theory gets tossed out the window when you remember that this isn’t actually Verity. I suppose it’s just a cool little thing.

Because the comms aren’t working, Ultra Magnus has been forced to use this avatar to communicate with the folks in the Rod Pod. Megatron asks just what the hell is going on, but unfortunately Magnus isn’t sure either. Then his shuttle disappears, and it’s bye-bye grunge girl Magnus.

It’s at this point that Nightbeat decides it’s time to stop pussyfooting around and get serious. He tells Ratchet to throw HIPPA directly in the garbage and write down everything he knows about the Autobots who crewed the Lost Light. And he does mean everything, as we get the splash page again, this time with lots of neat info on our friends, including spark type.

Spark types will become plot-relevant in the storyline after this, but for now let’s focus on some weird gender essentialism that got slapped into the first print of this issue.

As we know very well by this point, Transformers as a franchise has a tumultuous relationship with the idea of women existing. You would think that the awkward introduction of other genders we got in “Dark Cybertron” would have been the end of things being weird in IDW. However, you would be wrong.

In an effort to explain why genders exist, Roberts had the idea to make it spark-based. Nautica, in the solo print of this issue, has an estriol-positive spark. Estriol is a type of estrogen, which is the hormone that develops and maintains feminine secondary sex characteristics, when present in certain levels, in conjunction with other hormones. Biology

This “spark = gender” idea is, generally speaking, not a great idea to be presenting us with, especially when the writer is a cishet male, because it implies biological essentialism- the idea that a personality trait/quality of a person is innate and predetermined by their biology, as opposed to social, cultural, or individual experiences. Because this story doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it’s irresponsible to reduce the experience of being a woman to a single, physical, unchangable asset, especially when all other assets of the same class have zero effect on one’s gender identity. You don’t exactly see many nonbinary robots running around, now do you? And there are definitely more than two spark types, despite the Transformers as a species being... very binary.

It also makes female Transformers into an “other”, which is a problem that has existed from the very start of the franchise, in some form or fashion, and really doesn’t need to be perpetrated anymore than it already is.

The estriol spark type was removed in the trade edition, and Roberts has expressed regrets over its inclusion, having realized that it was potentially offensive.

Getting back to the story, Swerve, Tailgate, and Ratchet have disappeared, though Ratchet seems to have left his hands behind. His stolen, Pharma-original hands.

That’s still fucked up to me. I don’t think it’ll ever not be fucked up.

Riptide reveals the reason that he wasn’t in Season One of MTMTE was because when he went back to grab a receipt for the ship two years prior, he’d discovered that the original owners were worshipers of Mortilus, Cybertronian god of death, and knew about the nasty little problem that was the sparkeater from the first storyline. When Riptide went to confront them about it, they beat him up so bad he was unconscious for two solid days.

Which is a long-ass time to be unconscious. That might have been a coma, Riptide. Jesus, I hope someone got him to a hospital after this beatdown happened, or at least scraped him off the floor.

With this last piece of the puzzle, we finally have the common denominator in this big ol’ mystery. Everyone who disappeared was on the Lost Light when it took off from Cybertron in issue #1, and everyone left behind- Skids, Getaway, Nightbeat, Nautica, Megatron, and Ravage- didn’t join until afterwords.

Of course, having the answer doesn’t do us much good when everyone is still missing, and Megatron seems to agree with me, because he’s about to throw hands, when Nautica lets them know that they’ve arrived at the rendezvous. Problem is, so has something else.

...

I’m sure it’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

[lostinpagesblog]

Hello, everyone! I don’t like making lists that talk badly about some of the books I didn’t enjoy because they could be favorites of others. So, to avoid the negativity, I’m going with a simple top books of the year list! I read some pretty awesome books last year, so I’m excited to share! Not all of these came out in 2018 either, and I’m not counting rereads. I want this list to consist of anything that I read for the first time in 2018.

Just to clarify – these are also going to be in the order of when I read them, not in the order of how much I liked them.

1. The Cruel Prince & The Wicked King by Holly Black

Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

It’s fitting that the first book I read in 2018 also happened to be one of my favorites. I’m sure by now you all have heard and/or read Cruel Prince, and Wicked King actually comes out in just 4 days! This series just keeps getting better, and I’m dying a little inside every day until I can get my hands on the third one.

2. Starry Eyes by Jenn Bennett

Star Rating: 4 out of 5 stars 

I really loved Jenn’s first book, Alex Approximately, so it only makes sense that I’d enjoy her second. I liked the setting and characters of this story a lot, and I look forward to her other releases!

3. The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert

Star Rating: 4 out of 5 stars 

This one was hit or miss for a lot of people. Personally, I really enjoyed it. I liked the magical forest and the incorporation of the fantasy stories scattered throughout. I’m super excited to get a release of just the stories mentioned sometime soon too!

4. The Art of Feeling by Laura Tims

Star Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

I feel like this one went under the radar for a lot of people. I hadn’t heard of it until I randomly saw it suggested to me on Amazon. I took a chance, and I actually really liked it. The characters all felt very real, and I think everything wrapped up nicely in the end.

5. Simon Vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertali

Star Rating: 4 out of 5 stars 

Ashley and I listened to the audiobook of this one on our way home from her mom’s house in Cincinnati earlier in the year. We knew we wanted to see the movie, so I’m glad we read the book first! I highly recommend the audiobook, the narrator does a great job. Simon is snarky, and you can’t help but love him and his story.

6. The Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi

Star Rating: (average) 4.25 out of 5 stars 

I was familiar with this series before 2018, but I never got around to actually reading it until just right before the release of Restore Me in March. I’m a GIANT Warner fan now, and I can’t wait to see what happens in book five! I think it might hurt me a little.

7. Heart of Iron by Ashley Poston

Star Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars 

This one was pitched as Anastasia in space, so I was instantly sold. I have read Poston’s contemporary book, but I prefer fantasy, so I decided to start with this one. I enjoyed it, and I’ve heard the sequel might make me sad. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Also, I will go down defending the fact that his name is Di (like the letter D) because his name is Dmitri for crying out loud.

8. Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

The hype was strong with this one, and I’m happy to say that it lived up to it for me. I’m really excited to see if Tomi can keep up with that hype and deliver on book two come March!

9. To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Star Rating: 4 out of 5 stars 

I don’t think a lot of people gave much attention to this release. I really enjoyed it, and I loved the complexity of the main character. Was she good? Was she evil? It was hard to tell at times, and I loved it.

10. Emergency Contact by Mary H.K. Choi

Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

I keep talking about this one, but that’s because it felt so real to me. I thought the characters said and did things that anyone in real life would, and that’s what makes a contemporary for me. I’ll definitely check out anything else Mary writes.

11. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Star Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars 

I read this one so I could go see the movie – spoiler alert: don’t see the movie. The book is FAR better than that trash film. I really loved the nostalgic feel of the story, and I was really rooting for Wade.

12. Strange the Dreamer & Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor

Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

It feels strange to me, no pun intended, that I read this for the first time last year because it feels like I’ve loved it for so long. This duology is perfect for any fantasy fan, and I can’t recommend it enough. I’ve made friends read it – and they’ve all enjoyed it – and I tell customers at work to buy it all the time. Just do yourself a favor and pick it up.

13. An Ember in the Ashes series by Sabaa Tahir

Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

The same situation happened with this series that happened with the Shatter Me ones. I knew Reaper was coming out, so I binged the whole series. Let me tell you, it’s amazing. The world is great, the plot is intriguing, and Elias is my little baby. Nothing better happen to him in book four, Sabaa. I’ll come for you.

14. Beyond a Darkened Shore by Jessica Leake

Star Rating: 4 out of 5 stars 

Ashley and I buddy-read this one, and we both really liked it! The main love interest does seem a bit holier-than-thou, but other than that, it’s a solid read. The magic elements are what really sold me on it.

15. Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Star Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars 

I don’t think this one got enough love last year. I really enjoyed Theo’s journey throughout the first book, and I’m curious to see where book two will take us. The ending of the first left things a bit all over the place (in a good way), so I’m sure book two will pick up there and be awesome.

16. Legendary by Stephanie Garber

Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

I absolutely loved Caraval when I read it back in 2017, so I was super pumped for this sequel. Let me tell you, it was better. I didn’t think it could be possible, but I actually really loved Tella’s story more than Scarlett’s. I’m hyped to see the two girls come together in Finale later this year, and I honestly have no idea where the story is going to go.

17. Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan

Star Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

Everyone is super excited for this release in April, and guys, it’s deserving. I went into this with super low expectations because of the hype, but it was so good. I loved all the characters, and the plot is captivating. Things would happen, and I would actually gasp. Just do yourselves a favor and preorder this bad boy.

18. Four Dead Queens by Astrid Scholte

Star Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars 

BookCon 2018 was apparently a disaster when it came to the drop for this book. Penguin said they were dropping a surprise 2019 ARC, but Ashley and I left NYC that morning and missed it. Looking back, I’m glad we did because it turned into a madhouse. Thankfully, I was able to do a quick trade on Twitter for this, and I’m glad I did! The story blends together fantasy and mystery so well, and I felt like I was right in the middle of the “whodunnit” the whole time.

That’s all, folks! I hope some of these books made your favorites of 2018 as well, and here’s to reading a bunch of great ones in 2019!

Until next time,

What was your favorite book of 2018? Let me know in the comments below!

It's a new year, so let's talk about the best books of last year! Hello, everyone! I don't like making lists that talk badly about some of the books I didn't enjoy because they could be favorites of others.

[filosofablogger]

Hey folks!!!  Yep, it’s Monday again and this time I’m prepared!  I have treats for all, even naked cinnamon rolls for rawgod, donuts for Steve, scones (not burnt this time) for David, and Ellen … your coffee is just the way you like it!

So, did you all have a great weekend?  It was 95° here on Saturday with about 70% humidity, and the air quality so poor that there was a haze everywhere you looked.  Needless to say, that is not air out there … I don’t know what it is, but it is not air and whatever it is, I cannot breathe it.  I am grounded until further notice and nobody better tell me there’s no such thing as climate change!

Well, let’s forget that and find some fun to start our week off, shall we?

The world’s largest …

There used to be a saying here in the U.S.: “They grow everything big in Texas”  I’m not sure where the saying originated, but the only thing I’ve seen that is bigger in Texas (other than the size of the state itself) are the egos.  No, not you Steve. But to the point, I think Texas may be taking a back seat to Australia, if avocados are any indication.

It is called the Avozilla …

They look like an avocado and taste like an avocado. The only difference from the avocados you know is that these ones are about the size of your head.  Well, most people’s head, anyway — some Texans have bigger heads.  No, not you Steve.  They weigh an average of just over 2.5 pounds, or 1.2 kg.  (Why can’t the U.S. convert to the metric system like everybody else???)  They are expected to sell for about $12 each!

The fruit (yes, folks, avocados are a fruit, not a veggie) actually originated in South Africa and emigrated to the UK in 2013, but the Groves family of Queensland just brought them to Oz this year.  Now I learned something new here … I didn’t realize a country could ‘copyright’ a variety of tree, but any farmer that plants this giant avocado tree must seek permission and pay royalties to the South African company that owns the rights.

The problem I foresee here is that avocados go bad very quickly once exposed to air.  By quickly, I mean a matter of minutes, although one can keep them fresh and green for a few hours with a bit of lemon juice and the avocado pit.  I don’t see a huge individual market for them, though they might be popular in Mexican restaurants where large quantities of guacamole are served up.

Whodunnit?

Rob Morin and Paula Habib from Montreal, Canada, noticed in June that produce was going missing from their tomato and strawberry plants.

“We had a full set of tomatoes and then all of a sudden the tomatoes started going down. We didn’t take any ourselves; we thought it was the squirrels.”

But still, they found it odd that the squirrels weren’t leaving a mess, as squirrels typically do.  OCD squirrels, perhaps?

“We first thought it was the squirrels, but normally the squirrels leave a mess and there was not a mess on the ground where the plants were.”

I don’t know what took them so long, but finally the couple got the brilliant idea to check the footage from their outdoor security camera, and guess what?  It wasn’t a squirrel at all …

Yes, friends, it was the trusty mail carrier that was helping himself to the fruit each day.  Seems a fair trade … a box full of junk mail for a handful of tomatoes and strawberries!

“It’s rude,” said Ms. Habib. “He never told us. He never came to the door and said, ‘I took one of your tomatoes and it was really good’ or made joke about it. He just did it and he couldn’t care less.”

Canada Post is aware of the case and has spoken with the family, but so far isn’t commenting on the matter.  Habib said she does not want the postman to lose his job, but he could also offer some restitution – if he replaces the plants or offers the family a strawberry pie or some tomato sauce, all will be forgiven.

Dream job?

Mattress Firm, a mattress company based in Houston, Texas, has a job opening that I think would be just perfect for my daughter, who can fall asleep anywhere in under 15 seconds!  The ad on the company’s website reads:

Pursuing a degree in catching Z’s? Would you rather carry a pillowcase instead of a briefcase? This Fall, you can snag the internship of your dreams as Mattress Firm’s first “Snoozetern.”

We are searching for someone who can put their rest to the test. If you think you’re a slumber star, apply to sleep on the job as our in-house bed tester, testing the best of the best mattresses. The back of your eyelids won’t be your only view. You’ll test the optimal head and foot positions on our selection of adjustable bases for Netflix binging, Instagram stalking *ahem* posting, reading, typing, eating…really anything that would be better in bed.

Of course, you’ll want your friends to know that you’re ‘sleeping your best life’ so regular appearances on Mattress Firm’s social channels will make the job of your dreams official. Feed your inquisitive nature by interviewing our sleep experts, finding out what the social sphere wants to know and determining the perfect amount of pillows needed for the ‘I’m-sleeping-but-still-taking-a-picture-of-myself’ selfie.

Help us help the sleep deprived by applying to join our team. Comfort and curiosity are calling, will you answer?

Among the required qualifications are:

– 18 years of age or older

– Proficient in napping, regardless of time of day

– Interested in exposure to different surfaces, textures and sleep positions

– Passionate about sleep and comfort

– Available to start snoozing in the Houston-area beginning August 15

The only one that could be a problem for Chris is that last one, but the rest … she’s got this!

The $67,000 squirrel …

In Almaty, a city in Kazakhstan, resides a sculpture of a giant squirrel … sculpted from straw!  The squirrel, which stands 40 feet tall, is made from straw and wood attached to a steel frame, is part of an art project for a festival commissioned by city authorities.  But Rocky is causing some problems for the city.  First, some say he is a fire hazard … I suppose that is true, especially in a lightning storm.  But the main argument is the cost … it cost the city some $67,000 (£51,000), about $44,000 of which was paid for from public funds.  The people are, understandably, concerned that the money might have been better spent helping the struggling people of the city with medical or other costs.  I can’t argue against that point.The artists, South African sculptor Marius Jansen van Vuuren and British artist Alex Rinsler, have said that the squirrel will change appearance during the nine months it is expected to be on display, but I have a feeling that Rocky may not outlast the first hard rain or windstorm.  Still, he is pretty cute …

I just wanna be on da teevee too, dad …

Polish historian/political scientist Jerzy Targalski was giving a taped interview regarding the U.S. Supreme Court when his cat decided to get in on the act.

Well, friends, once again it is time for us to each get busy.  I’ve really enjoyed our visit this morning … this is absolutely my favourite part of most Mondays!  I hope you all have a wonderful week!  Oh WAIT … before you go … please share those gorgeous smiles today and every day.  A lot of people are pretty miserable these days, and a smile seems to just work wonders when somebody is feeling down.  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa & the Significant Seven!

Hot ‘n Jolly Monday! Hey folks!!!  Yep, it’s Monday again and this time I’m prepared!  I have treats for all, even naked cinnamon rolls for rawgod, donuts for Steve, scones…

[thanksjro]

The Mystery of the Transformer Decoys, Parts 1-3: A Whodunnit Adventure

This isn’t exclusively a Roberts’ publication. There were a lot of folks on this one, actually. Of course the first collaborative effort I cover here has five people on it for the writing alone, not to mention the art credits.

I’ll be going through everything, of course, because it wouldn’t make sense not to, and also because it’ll be interesting to look at how all these young writer’s styles are going to play together.

And you read that right, Pounce and Wingspan are in this. They were in Liars, A-to-D- Pounce was holding the Galvatron puppet- and Eugenesis as minor characters. I’m excited to get a little more of their characterization.

Now, without further ado, let’s get into The Mystery of the Transformer Decoys.

There he is, our main character- Nightbeat! Standing at over 90 feet tall and wearing the largest trenchcoat this side of Alpha Centauri, our boy’s well on his way to the robotic equivalent of lung cancer as he watches Sideswipe breakdance in an attempt to appease this god of detective prowess. Megatron might be looking to kill him, but’s he’s going to have to try a lot harder to bring this big guy down.

We get a little message from our ‘zine organizer and editor, Richard Ahern, on the nature of putting a thing like this together.

Good on you for sticking to it, Ahern.

Part 1 of our story is written by Martin McVay; we open on a scene in the Celestial Spires, where Nightbeat and a co-conspirator are dealing with the spoils of Nightbeat’s most recent case- twenty turbo-fox brains on a rope, glowing with residual Matrix energy. Someone paid Nightbeat to find these things. Right off the bat, we’re getting weird. I dig it.

As the co-conspirator checks the goods for any alarm systems or bombs, Nightbeat stares out the window and muses on the way life is at present, with the war looming in the skies of Cybertron, ever present. He notices a light on in the tower across the way- strange, given that it’s late as shit. Before he can investigate further, Getaway snaps him out of his concentration, having finished with the brain chips.

Yeah, Getaway. Relax, he isn’t a completely morally-bankrupt bastard in this- that’s strictly an IDW thing.

By the time, Nightbeat’s gone back to the window, the light is out.

Part 2, written by Ahern, takes place a few weeks after Part 1, with the high-ranking Autobot who employed Nightbeat breaking out the death threats if he doesn’t get those skulls he paid for. It turns out these skulls have a sort of power to them, the sort that makes one loathe to part with the things once they’re in their possession. Still, Nightbeat is nothing if not a professional, and finally makes his way over to Wingspan’s base of operations.

The exchange is made, and Wingspan invites Nightbeat to take in the view from the roof.  

As Nightbeat leaves, we get the perspective of an onlooker- Pounce- who takes in the scene with glee, having been the one to set up the whole “problem” Nightbeat had been hired to handle, at Wingspan’s behest. He’s less gleeful to find that the guy he hired to tail Nightbeat isn’t terribly good at his job, seeing as he can, well, see him. He may end up having to kill Nightbeat if if he doesn’t get his act together, but that’s life, I guess. He then pulls the skulls from a case and throws them around his neck like a macabre string of Mardi Gras beads.

It was at this point I stopped what I was doing and made a sandwich to make sure my blood sugar hadn’t suddenly dropped, because things got sort of confusing, narrative-wise, and I legitimately couldn’t tell if it was a writing issue or the fact that all I’d eaten in the last 24 hours was a single bowl of shrimp linguini.

Then I came back, tried again, and determined that it was a bit of both.

In the middle of this part, we get some classic magazine advertising action, which helps clear up a bit of the confusion.

There’s a full-page ad for Transformers Junk Files, another ‘zine, this one being a TMUK writing anthology.

On the other page we get a character synopsis for Pounce, Wingspan, and Circuit, who we haven’t met yet in this story. We’ll get to him in a bit.

Turns out Pounce and Wingspan are clone brothers.

Yep. Clone brothers.

(Their robot modes are pretty much identical.)

No, see, here’s the thing: these are actually established characters within the Transformers franchise. The only reason I didn’t catch it on my read-through of Eugenesis is because I was basing my interpretation of the characters on what was presented to me in Liars, A-to-D, where Pounce looks like this:

And there isn’t an ounce of kibble visible to tell me he turns into a friggin’ big cat. I just figured that Liars Pounce and puma Pounce were separate entities. It’s not like these guys are huge players in the cartoons or Marvel comics- they were in a single episode of the original 80’s show.

Regardless, it would seem that Wingspan is not who he presents himself to be to Nightbeat, and that the Decepticons just got their hands on something very mysterious and very powerful.

Part 3, written by Charles Ellis, follows Nightbeat as he muses on Wingspan’s threat.

Well, that’s… ominous.

Things are back to status quo for our good detective, until he’s brought on to solve a murder- excuse me, a cybercide. He arrives on the scene, and the scene is simply doused in mech-fluid.

No, mech-fluid is not at all similar to man-juice. It’s basically blood.

Nightbeat asks just who the hell got offed, and the current consensus seems to be that he was a member of the special branch of Security Forces- robots so deep undercover they practically don’t exist.

Nightbeat takes in the carnage, and quickly formulates a hypothesis based on the damage to the body, the destroyed computer, and the pain chips he’s found on the floor.

In a brief aside, Nightbeat laments on the fact that he has no alt-mode- they’re a distinctly war-centric thing in the Marvel continuity- as he drives down the road in an honest-to-god jalopy. Then he sees Megatron, and that kind of ruins his day.

The plot catches up to Circuit as Nightbeat confronts him, demanding answers, seeing as he’s working with just about every mob in Iacon.

Circuit is an Autobot known for trying to cut a deal with everyone he comes into contact with. Deals that solely benefit him. He doesn’t have an alt, but he does have a pretty sweet ride that turns into an exosuit when needed. If you read IDW’s Robots in Disguise, you’ll remember him as the reporter who shows up repeatedly in the story there.

With a little moolah flashed his way, Circuit lets slip that he heard about someone seeing “Meggy” at a place called Slammer’s. It’s all he’s got, but Nightbeat’s trying to stay optimistic and heads out to investigate.