#FINALLY I DONT HAVE RANDOM STUFF IN MY DRAFTS ANYMORE
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#FINALLY I DONT HAVE RANDOM STUFF IN MY DRAFTS ANYMORE#ITS CLEAN#also random life update ive finally accepted that i am in fact asexual >:)#i always thought i wasnt until this year bc i didnt think i fit in with what i thought asexuality was#but i figured out that i do have a place on the ace spectrum#and it makes me feel A LOT better about pursuing future relationships lol#i usually dont like to get too personal online but im super excited tbh!!
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i spend a lot of time digging back for old persona posts that its become a hobby. looking at the fandom back then is so surreal, people were truly unhinged in 2013-2015
#persona 3#persona 4#they really were wild and the community looked much smaller#i run into the same names and content creators and pixiv posters#and the stuff they posted is still funny and their art is still super impressive today#people did not care what they posted and posted ANYTHING#i really wish more people could see it#i try to post what i can but obvi not a ton of people follow me but thats okay#this blog honestly became a little archive place for myself#jenivi rant#my post#i have like 500+ posts in drafts cuz my queue/scheduling feature was broken for a while#it just keeps growing cuz i keep finding more things#luckily queue finally works again so i dont have to store everything in drafts anymore C:#sorry random rant no one will read agsufbisna
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Afraid
even if you’re afraid in falling in love again, i’ll wait till you’re ready.
pairing : kageyama x reader
a/n : so uhh,,,the next few weeks(let’s just be safe and say the next month) i have tests after tests, and some of them are graded TmT. So this mean i’ll have to take some time off writing because- as much as i say f school and that it sucks, i still have to at least ace it so i’m trouble free TmT. So,,yeah. But do send in some requests and i’ll (hopefully) make drafts of them when im free and soon publish it.
but for now, enjoy more milk boi content:) (i hope i dont f this up like my previous one hngg)
yall know the drill: apologies if it doesn’t match the characterrrr. okay enjoy:)
--------<3
you look absolutely stunning. your smooth, silky hair, your heartwarming smile, your toned body and perfect glossy eyes, every little detail about you just makes kageyama fall into a deeper hole. Ever since you moved in to karasuno, you had people drolling over you. Including the hot-tempered setter.
Honestly speaking, you could have gotten a boyfriend by now after the popular boy in the school hit you up. But to his surprise, you turned him down. Every boy who tried to ask you out or confess their feelings for you, you constantly turn them down. Not one of them did you accept. This brought kageyama to the thought that if he were to shoot his shot, it’s very clear he wouldn’t even have a chance.
But just seeing you everytime during practice, talking to yachi about your school work and other stuff, he just can’t thinking of you. He’d shoot glances at you from time to time, making sure he’s not being suspicious at the same time.
Hinata actually noticed this and took this as an advantage to tease the setter.
“hmmm? Is kageyama seeing someone ??” He cooed. Kageyama would have grabbed his hair and yank him to the wall but he stopped himself to not make a scene. after you left the gym, he was finally able to breathe normally. Your presence always tense him up, hoping he won’t embarrass himself infront of you.
Practice ended and everyone was changing when kageyama sighed heavily which caught everyone’s attention.
“aw, is someone upset that he can’t win a person’s heart?” tsukki said along with yamaguchi giggling afterwards. Kageyama glances his way before picking up his bag. Before he could even head out the changing room, Daichi stopped him by putting his hand on kageyama’s shoulder.
“you know, if it really bothers you, you should just go for it. Even if she were to turn you down, at least get that feeling off your chest.” Sugawara nods is agreement along with ennoshita. Kageyama couldn’y do anything but sigh, then nodding afterwards.
“alright, i’ll do it. today.”
“eh?! uhh- i mean take your time and find the right moment kagey-”
“thank you, daichi. I’ll be off now.” Kageyama bowed before leaving the captain standing still, facing the door that was shut closed.
“don’t worry, daichi, i’m sure he means well.” suga tried to comfort his captain who is dreaded with fear for his teammate.
“y/n !” you heared someone calling you from behind. You turned to see kageyama running towards you. You stopped your tracks as you slowly waited for him to get closer.
“kageyama ! finished practice ?” he nodded as he tried to catch his breathe. After a while, he stood up straight, clearing his throat before speaking.
“let me walk you home.” you could feel your heart throbbing. But you shook your head, declining the offer.
“no it’s okay, i’m fine. well, i’ll see you-”
“please, it’s late and very dangerous.” He pleaded. You sighed before allowing and you both then began walking back to your house. The walk was silent, with an awkward tension and a small gap between the both you. You both barely spoke to each other, just occasional ‘hello’ and ‘how’s your day?’, so to walk home with him is something you weren’t prepared for.
You both reached the playground near your house and you stopped for a second. Kageyama noticed and he stopped his tracks, walking back to check if you’re okay.
“y/n, is something wron-”
“i’m so sorry kageyama. but i don’t like you” your sudden of words really shattered him. He wasn’t ready yet. He wanted a few more moments before accepting the fact. But the truth has been told, and he soon have to accept it.
“it’s okay, im not forcing yo-” his words were cut when he noticed tears rolling down your cheeks. You tried your best to hold into the tears but after feeling his sudden touch, rubbing your shoulder, you couldn’t help it. You bawled your eyes out and kageyama was freaking out internally. He didn’t what to do. So he just guided you to a bench, sat you down, and waited patiently as you let loose of this tight feeling.
you’ve never really told anyone that you’ve always been afraid of falling in love ever since your previous relationships. To date someone and fall in love with them so deeply, only to realise they don’t feel the same way anymore after some time. Everyone you loved, left you. not one of your lovers ever stayed for long. This resulted you into losing hope, feeling unwanted or just used. So to constantly get love letters or being confessed under a sakura tree, it really upsets you that one day any one of these boys will leave you if they ever get tired of you. Which is something you never want to experience, ever again.
Kageyama sat down beside you and patiently waited as you eased up. You slowly catch your breath, sniffing and wiping the excess tears. After a while, you’ve slowly calmed down from the sudden outburst.
“i guess i shouldn’t really keep it to myself” you smiled to the ground and kageyama looked at you with concern.
“take your time, i’m always hear to listen” he reassured. God, you miss this feeling. The feeling of someone taking their time to just sit down with you and listen to your thoughts. You let out a heavy sigh, before looking at him with puffed up eyes.
“i’ve been into a few relationships. Unfortunately, all of them didn’t turn out well. I felt used, unwanted. Because of this, i’ve always thought that every boy who i’m going to date, will eventually leave me. That is why, i constantly turn them down, just for the sake that i won’t go through the same thing over and over again.” you admit. You were expecting kageyama to tell you to just ‘go for it’ or ‘don’t be scared. you won’t know if it will work out this time’, just like every boy said to you. But all he did was looked at you, staring deep into your eyes, as in he was guilty to make you speak up about something personal.
“i understand.” he cut the silence. He smiled slightly as he look at you. His smile, just something about his smile made your heart skipped a beat. Before it could go any further, you sprung up, grabbing your bag before turning back to kageyama, flashing the same smile which is now known to kageyama that it’s fake.
“well, it’s late. i have to go now. i’ll see you tomorrow !” you waved before walking away. Kageyama took a few moments to recollect his thoughts, before grabbing his bag and sprinting back to you again. no, he can’t let you lose hope. He wants to be the one to change your perspective of love. He wants to show you that he generally cared. and most certainly, he wants to let you know, that in any circumstances, he would never, ever, leave you.
You felt someone caught your wrist before pulling you closer towards them. You spun before looking directly at kageyama, who’s giving off an expression that you’ve never seen before.
“ I don’t care how long will it take for you to slowly open up again. Days, weeks, months, even years.But I want to let you know, that i’m always here. I’m never leaving you alone. Whatever it takes, i’ll trade anything, absolutely anything, to see you happy once more. So,,even if you’re still afraid of falling in love again, i’ll always be here. waiting.” The way kageyama spoke didn’t feel like a lie. It felt as if he really spoke from the bottom of his heart. he slowly loosen the grip around your wrist, bowing politely and walking back home.
you slowly watch him walk away, clenching your heart. Did he really meant that ? Was he really stating the truth? whatever it is, you felt that kageyama would actually keep his promise.
Maybe, he is right. You shouldn’t lose hope. Not all of the boys are the same, because someone made you think otherwise. Which was none other than Kageyama Tobio.
a/n : OKAY!! Due to personal reasons, i will now dig my grave ;-; but yeaah hope this is okay. Wrote this on the spot when i had a sudden thought about love. Technically i do feel like love is really,,,a jigsaw puzzle. In order to work things out, communication is key. But i’m afraid a few of the relatonships i have observed didn’t work out well because they lack in that aspect. but this is just my personal opinion (please don’t attack me). Anyways yesshh uhmm i’ll be taking a break for now, but i’ll still be active (reading other people’s haikyuu hc huhuhu) and stuff. Also once again, feel free to send in request or just random questions (i love doing Q&A lmao) and i’ll answer them :3 alright, see yalls in a few weeks time ;)
#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#kageyama x y/n#kageyama x reader#kageyama tobio#haikyuu!#kageyama#tobio x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu tobio#haikyuu x you
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opm time traveler au (spoilers)
genos goes back in time and tries to disguise himself and befriending sai as a bookworm lol and they become good friends until sai is fooling around and playfully steals genos’ glasses one day and the you know 💘 💘 💘 💘
what started out as a random doodle turned into a multi-chapter length fic draft out on discord!! *o*
the full convo/story is posted below bUT its heavy angst!! be warned!! sorry about the casual lingo, i was posting in chat format XD
so time traveler au picks up from when sai was getting picked on back in middle school chapter in the manga
and when genos goes back in time he thinks the only way he can get close to saitama if he was an ‘outcast’ too
so he purposefully nerdifies himself more? lOL how is possible,,,
Originally genos got sent back by dr. Genus as way to figure out the key to sai’s strength
Bc in the ‘future’ genos, they had just met and genos just wanted to know what made sai powerful
And initially when they meet genos is very forward about wanting to know all about saitama who finds it kinda creepy and stalkerish when he finds genos tailing him in the hallways and after school haha
And other classmates notice how the new kid (genos) follows/takes an interest in the class loser (sai) so predictably they start making fun of and bullying genos too
Genos, true to form, doesnt give a fuck xD
But sai has mixed feelings about it bc it was the first time someone took an actual interest in him and even though he’s so forward, genos never overstepped boundaries with him and was an okay guy overallBut alot of the story has to do with sai trying to figure out what its like to have a friend
And what to do because hes never had one
But he does know that he doesnt like seeing genos getting pushed around or made fun of so there are moments where he’ll try to stick up for him by telling them to knock it off or pulling genos aside to a differnt hallway when he sees the bullies coming
At the same time hes so confused on like what to do right, so he’ll also try to push genos away, ‘maybe if he didn’t hang around me so much, he’ll won’t get picked on…’
There was one scene i knew i wanted to do
Where after sai stands up for genos, the bullies treat sai worse
So it was an after school thing, behind one of the school buildings where sai is beat up pretty bad (like barely standing) and the bully has him by the front of his shirt and had his fist pulled back
When genos arrives
Before, sai had managed to ditch genos so he wouldnt see sai when he’s ‘weak’And always made up some excuse when he bruises or other injuries
So genos interrupts the scene by straight up grabbing the bullies wrist
And seething in all toasty righteous fury ‘dont touch him!’
and sai cant see it cus he had two black eyes at this point
but this was some dialogue i had written:
S:’What’s he doing? Why is he helping me?‘ "Hey–“
Bully pulls back fist "Look, kid. You’re new so I’ll give you a free pass this time if you walk away right now. You wouldn’t want us to mess up that pretty face of yours, would you?"
G: "How generous of you. Unfortunately, I won’t be extending the same courtesy to anyone who treats this person disrespectfully. Especially not ugly trash like you. "
Bully: "Why you–!! ”
And when the bully tries to redirect the hit to genos, genos instinctively throws out his palm and says ‘incin—‘ before he realizes he doesnt have his cannons
And genos is about to get b e a t
When sai wrenches himself from the bullies grip and takes the hit for him
They like tumble down and genos is confused to what happened before he sees sai lying motionless beside him, bleeding from his head and unresponsive
And i was gonna end a chapter there with genos screaming saitama’s name…
Next chapter was gonna be sai waking up slowly and in a world of hurt
He realizes he’s in the nurses office
It was night time
And when could finally see, he hallucinates seeing like 8 mini genos (remember the genosbots :3)‘Why…whys there eight of you/??’
So basically genos is worry over him so much whereas sai says its fine but genos is like feeling really bad so sai shakily reaches over and gently taps him on the forehead
And grins weakly, ‘there, now we’re even.’
Genos is crying openly bc he’s remembering when future saitama playfully hit his head after a spar and he thinks that saitama-sensei is strong no matter how old he is
And he’s just…overwhelmed by how kind and strong saitama is, even when he has no strength at all (Cus hes like 14 rn haha)
I think a couple days pass, and genos and saitama are eating lunch on the roof (cue bento box scene lol)
Sai is healing nicely, genos is still feeling bad whenever he looks over an sees the bandage on sais head
Some dialogue:
Eating lunch on the roof. G: How’s your wound? S: Hm? Oh, it’s fine. Don’t worry, my teachers say I have a hard head. G: I’m sorry. S: ? Why are you sorry? Not like you’re the one who punched me. G: I made things worse. If I hadn’t antagonized him, then–!! S: Then he woulda beat me up anyway. Seriously, man, it’s not your fault, okay? So you can stop doing all those things for me. G: Like what? S: You know! Like being nice to me and buying lunch and stuff. You don’t need to feel guilty about it anymore.
Sai is still kinda insecure abt having a genuine friend, so he still thinks genos is being nice to him out of pity or smtg, (and genos had been particularly nice to him after he got injured so he figured it was out of guilt)
And i mean….it was,, genos feels terribly guilty…but i think watching sai, who was powerless, attempt to protect him just made him more intrigued (and unbeknownst to him fall a lot deeper in love XD)
But genos says thats not why he does those things
That saitama reminded him of ‘someone’ he knew whom he admired greatly
At his ‘old’ school
He tells sai about his ‘sensei’ and how amazing this person was and all of his great qualities
And sai was feeling a little more depressed at each praise genos was singing about this person (coughjealouscough)
And i have another piece of dialogue here…
S: if you like him so much, why did you leave? G: …I wanted to see the kind of person sensei was before he became strong. this is where he grew up. S: …seems like a lot of effort just for one person. G:.that person (sai thoughts: he’s still talking?)…no matter what i did..I couldn’t reach him. I’d do anything to close the distance between us..I thought that if I came here, I would be able to understand him. I thought I could help him. G: touches saitama’s wound But instead, I’m still the one being saved. I never learn.
And genos gives sai this painfully heartfelt smile and its full of regret, frustration, self-loathing, admiration, and some other unidentified emotion that just floors saitama
Saitama sees genos’ smile and his eyes and is just...stunned by the level of vulnerability he sees (he’s never gotten close enough to anyone before to see it)
So he reaches out, hestitantly at first, before wiping away genos’ tears carefully because if he touches any harder he’s afraid genos would crumble
S: “i dont really get it...but if you feel that strongly, then i’m sure some part of your feelings reached him.”
And they share their first hug then :3
////
((When i wrote this, genos didnt have glasses haha so i guess that scene where sai realizes how pretty genos is would go before this one))
I guess if the glasses were involved, sai would be torn between wanting genos to take them off (so he can see his eyes which oddly finds that he likes them...alot.) and keep them on so other ppl wont see how pretty he is
Bc sure if they saw, genos would no longer be his friend
He would have so many ppl vying for his attn, he would be surrounded by girls and guys and would be approachableAnd saitama would get left behind
But i think even tho sai wants to be selfish and keep genos to himself, he also realizes that genos wouldnt be bullied if he were more accepted
So he would encourage genos to ditch the glasses and genos would end up getting accepted by everyone but he would still stay with saitama and nothing would change between them other than saitama getting really red at random times and avoiding eye contact more
It would just be one of the many things that strengthen their relationship as friends. And i think i had planned some stuff where they do a bunch of typical friend / kid stuff
Like genos tutoring saitama on math, genos running circles around sai in track/field (‘wtf...huff are...huff you?! huff some...kinda...rOBOT!?). Them going to the arcade, saitama taking genos around to explore his hometown, they go on hiking trips and stuff.
genos finding out saitama lived alone and that’s why he always buys lunch (or doesnt eat if he got bullied out of it that day) and talking out their issues and genos reaching out and saying yeah, he knew what it felt like to be alone
but that saitama should never feel that way because he wasn’t alone anymore, and saitama joking affectionately ‘yeah i have you to stick annoyingly close.’
and also heavy scenes like when you have to fill out future goals sheets in school where sai shyly admits that he’s always thought it’d be nice to be a hero and was shocked when genos was oVERWHELMINGLY supportive bc he’s never had anyone cheer for him like this, believe in him like genos does. And he calls genos crazy for agreeing with him, but he thinks he must also be crazy because when genos looks at him like that, he feels like he could do it
and its one of the first moments we see sai really open up to genos
bc being a hero was something he truly cared about
but his teachers, his classmates, heck the world, didn’t think he could do, they thought it was a hopeless dream for someone, and he’s so used to facing this kind of rejection that he’s started to believe it really would be impossible for someone like him....
but all it took was this one person, this one friend to tell him he could...and it made him feel invincible
and its probably the scene where saitama realizes how important genos is to him.
So of fucking course its when saitama realizes genos is important to him that drama bomb hits Basically, Dr. genus comes and pays genos a surprise visit. And hes like “did you forget the reason I sent you back here? Any updates?”
And genos is like “i have nothing of interest to report”
genus: "This isn’t some children’s game, you know. "
genos: "I must be careful not to expose myself. Saitama-sensei is more observant than I had initially planned--"
genus: "You’re stalling. I have an idea: Fight him. "
genos: !!! dr : "You’ll have a disguise. I will re-install your blasters. Perhaps a stressful situation will trigger a transformatio--. "
((so it was gonna be hinted at that even though genos appeared like a normal human, he was just redesigned by genus and was actually still a cyborg) genos: "I refuse to put Saitama-sensei in danger!!"
dr: "What danger? He is more than capable of--"
genos: "Right now, he is powerless. An attack could kill him--!"
dr: " And doing nothing will kill us!! Your mission is to find out the secret to his strength! Something we both wanted to discover and the entire reason why I chose you as my test subject! I will not sit here idly while you indulge in your childish fantasies that will get us both erased from the timestream. Look. " //he shows genos a pic of the hero registery from their time//
genos: " !!! Sensei’s name is missing!”
dr: " Your name is gone too. I dont know what you did but your actions are interfering with the future. Here. Collect your belongings and leave no evidence behind. We depart in 1 hour. "
genos: " !! Wait! Give me more time!! I understand now..!"
//genos has a bunch of flashbacks of when he does fun stuff with saitama. When sai tries to make him something in cooking class (and fails badly lol). When saitama shares his manga with genos. When they watch anime together.//
Genos: “I understand now..what type of person sensei was...his strength (when sai was protecting him from bullies)...his kindness (sai wiping his tears away)...his warmth (sai hugging him*)...!!”
“I finally understand...!!”
sai holding his hand, sai smiling and eating with him..
“...what its like to feel human again!!!”
He’s suddenly lifted off the ground and pushed roughly against the wall. Dr. Genus has him by the collar.
“Reality check, little shit!! You. Do. Not. Belong. Here! You’ve been playing pretend for far too long! And guess what demon cyborg?”
He tosses genos to the ground
“Time’s run out”
So chapter was gonna end with genos’ hand slowly fading in and out
next chapter would begin with genos being given 2 hours by dr. Genus to basically pack his shit and go. bc they cant leave any trace of the future stuff when they leave So genos ends up back in the classroom Packing his cute stationary and shit xD
(That sai bought him o b v i o u s l y )
And he’s startled by the door sliding open
And saitama walks in
He’s suprised to see genos there (and looking guilty?) “did ya forget smtg?”
And genos just kinda..looks away
And sai sees him packing up and taking everything and hes quiet for a bit ...
“You’re leaving?” He asks softly
“Saitama-kun, I—!”
“Why?” He keeps talking in that soft tone, but it silences genos more effectively than a shout
“I..I can’t...”
S: “...Is it because of that person?”
(Sai remembers the shine in genos eyes when he talks about his ‘sensei’, his special person, and his heart kinda just falls to his feet)
(i never had a chance, did i...)
Genos cant answer because yeah it was because of saitama in the future. So what if genos disappeared? Genos didn’t care. But the world needed saitama. It needed Saitama The Hero. He had to leave now so saitama can exist in the future
But since he cant say anything, for fear or changing the future even more, genos just doesnt say anything
So sai assumes that yeah, it was because of someone else, someone better than him, someone who deserved genos’ admiration and loyalty
He doesnt say anything, just approaches genos slowly, trying not to startle genos who has like deer in head lights ready-to-b o l t
And saitama rests his forehead on genos’ shoulder, barely touching him but close enough that genos cant ignore him, genos can feel his presence and his warmth
And theres a moment where genos is t o r n
Bc this saitama acknowledges him in a way that future sai wouldnt. This saitama looks at him and sees him whereas his sensei’s gaze passes over him to focus on the sale sign
And genos has been in school again, and he realizes he missed it. He missed having his worries be about being late for class, missing a school assignment, whether he could sit next saitama next class, what to pack for his and sai’s lunch tomorrow
And he knew in the back of his mind, that his real self, was in surgery at this time, trading warmth for fire and destruction, shedding his humanity while his future self was regaining it in the past,Thanks to saitama
He inhales sharply, ‘sai—‘ S: “don’t go.”
G: !
(Sai thought genos was going to say he was going to leave and he didn’t think he could hear him say it) S: “I know..he’s precious to you...” He reaches for genos, and after hesitating over touching genos’ hand, he settles for gripping genos’ sleeve of his school uniform tightly S: “but you’re precious to me “
And genos has tears streaming down his face. Because he wanted to stay, he had never wanted anything so much before than to just stay with saitama before he became sensei, to cheer for him when no one else would, to stop him from reaching the point he had trade his emotions for his strength, to stop the emptiness before it could touch him
But he also knew...that in order for his sensei to become strong...saitama needed to have these struggles that pushed him to change
That success without sacrifice was impossible, and he knew, genos KNEW it in his soul that if he stayed...if HE was the factor that caused saitama to limit himself, to fall back on a regular life when genos had seen it with his own eyes that this was a man destined for greater things...he would never be able to forgive himself
Genos throws his arms around saitama and hugs him tightly. He feels like he’s floating with nothing to ground him than the feeling of saitama returning his embrace equally tightly with his still lanky arms
G: “Saitama-kun....Thank you.”
G: “...goodbye.”
So next chapter begins ...With genos ending up back in genus’ lab
G: “Are we back?”
dr: “It appears so. We should—hey!! Where are you going?”
And genos is running off to look for saitama/his SENSEI because he had to exist, he had to still be a hero, right?!
He bumps into a monster
But not just any monster...Its the mosquito girl XD
Genos fights MG because its what he’s supposed to do, but he’s not scared for the fight...he’s scared for what’s to come AFTER...
And saitama shows up and finishes off MG with wan punch!!!
Genos is thankfully, not in disrepair bc he managed to dodge her attacks and was basically stalling for time
Saitama kinda sees him and looks at him blandly but to genos, that garrish, eye-burning yellow hero suit was the best thing he had ever seen
S: “Oh. A civilian? Are you oka—“
And he freezes all of a sudden.
And genos also freezes bc he doesn’t know what to do Its saitama-sensei...he should know the script, he’s done it all before
But now saitama-sensei was the stranger and he longed for the comfort that came with saitama-kun’s toothy smile
But he too had changed....he was a cyborg now, weaponized arms and black sclera on full display. His core spun dangerously. Would saitama even recognize him? Would he remember that day in the classroom when they parted ways, that was only a few hours ago for genos but more than a decade for saitama?
Genos froze. Would saitama even want to remember? After all the heartbreak genos had caused him?
Lost in his thoughts, genos almost didn’t notice saitama approach until the soft crunch of asphalt right in front of him jarred him to reality
Genos held his breath
Saitama didnt say anything. Only let that sharp gaze pierce genos in ways no monster could.
Genos couldnt read what he was thinking, he never could on his sensei’s bland face but this time, there was something tightly guarded in those brown eyes.
Saitama muttered something so low that genos had to use his advanced hearing to pickup
S: “It cant be...”
Louder and taking an aggressive step forward, saitama clenched his hand into a fist. He narrowed his eyes. “...If you’re some kinda shape-shifting monster...this won’t end well for you.”
G: “It’s genos!! I’m...I’m genos.”
Saitama freezes and his eyes grow wide. Genos almost instinctively lurches foward when saitama falls back on his heels, appearing shaken.
S: ...genos?
Genos nods tentatively.
For a moment, saitama doesnt say anything. But genos finds he doesnt need to. Those brown eyes had opened and genos could see, could feel some far-flung emotions creep back into that achingly familiar face as saitama let his gaze trail from his new eyes down his circuited arms and linger on the glowing blue that peeked through his shirt
After what felt like years, genos saw a corner of saitama’s lips twitch.
S: “It really is you....Heh. You haven’t changed a bit.”
G: “Sai—“
S: "I tried to forget you. I tried to go back to life before you. I finished school .... somehow got a job as a shitty salesman..."
S: "...I really tried."
Genos looked down, ashamed. He had been the one to injure saitama so unforgivably. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if saitama had done the same to him, if he had turned genos away from being his disciple. Kicked him out. How could you forgive someone who changed your world for the better, only to leave it behind?
More than anything, he needed to beg for forgiveness, not that he deserved it—but saitama did.
G: “Saitama, I—“
Sai shook his head, like he didn’t want to hear it.
Genos thought his core would crack.
S: “I thought...If I were strong, things would get better. If I were stronger than that person..maybe you would have picked me instead.”
S: “Maybe you would have stayed “
S: “I trained and trained until I became strong...but it wasn’t enough. To capture your attention, I had to be the strongest.” Saitama pauses and shoots him a small, cheeky grin that had echoes of the same toothy smile Genos cherished.
S: “I would have to be, to take care of someone as high maintenance as you.”
Then the smile faded. S: “But even after I became strong..what did it matter? You had left and I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. And if for some crazy reason i Did meet you again...I didn’t know if i had it in me to ask you to choose again..”
G: (full on oil tears, the whole shebang)
G: S-Saitama..!!
Saitama grinned helplessly at him.
S: “So hurry up and choose me, genos!”
G: “Sensei!!!” [ because I had already chosen you a long time ago ]
They hug.
THE END!!!!!!!!!!! :’D
There’s a small epilogue where sai’s like..you called me teacher again. Im still not a teacher you know (in reference to this original post: http://yiulee.tumblr.com/post/139194391025/time-travel-au ) .
And genos is like: dont worry sensei, ill explain it to you
And sai is like ah, okay? But first. surprise smooch! S: been waiting 12 years to do that :D
/////
endless thanks to @konorai @batneko @egg-in-the-basket for bearing with me while i unloaded this beast into the discord chat..yall the real mvps!!! ;3;
#saigenos#opm#saitama#genos#time travel au#my writing#opm time travel au#i was right#im never finishing this LOL OTL#but!!#i hope you guys still enjoy the story outline! :D#the key scenes i wanted to write/draw are still included so im sated :>#yiulee art#opm art
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//5? a year later.
ive waited just about a year to say anything. I've gotten most my stuff back. I've finally figured out why everything hurt so much. i was in love with you. i gave you my all thinking you had feelings as well. i see you're happy with him now, and I'm happy for you. that's all I wanted for you. i let you consume me for so long. I'm poly, you knew this. i don't think you understood that I had such strong feelings for you. your sparkle in your eyes. i wanted a life with you. i had a text drafted out telling you all of this. i don't know where it went. i should have left your memory where it was. I've checked in on you every now and then. i finally started talking to people about you. they all love you. they know all the good. that's all i wish to let people know. they know you're gone but i told them it was my fault. i know now its on both of us. its not as black and white as i wish it was. i had such strong feelings and i thought you felt the same way. now i see that you're happy and in love with him. I'm so proud of you. i hope you're healing from everyone and getting to a place in life that you wish to be. i still see you in my dreams. i still see a few random pictures i have of us. i don't think ill delete them. i still have the lock screens you sent me for various things. i still let people call me blue. t took our song and made it something i can listen to now. you'd really like her. we're together now. imagine that, I'm in my first poly relationship. i had a breakdown yesterday and went on a 40-minute rant about how we ended. i hate that i was so scared of rejection and i lashed out. I've gotten to the point where i can talk to people about things. i have some close friends. i think you'd really like them. you'd think ben is the best. silver is back as well. hayden would probably piss you off just like kris used to. in the fun but slightly aggravating way. tais is amazing. shes helping me learn that its okay to speak my mind without it being tragic. i can speak to her about anything. i finally asked her out on the 29th of January. we had been going back and forth since mid-November ish. she met me in august, she didn't know how much she changed my life when she first came in. she writes, almost like we do. but hers is poems. hers flow so well. its not just a blurb of whats being said that needs to be spilled. shes from brazil, that's where shes been this entire time I've known her. shes 18, almost 19, but just behind us in school. meaning shes looking at colleges now. shes such a good student she had 18 universities accept her. but she decided to go to Roanoke University in Salem. shes moving across the world for 4 years. shes gonna be 25 minutes away from me. our parents don't know anything much about us aside from were close. they said she can stay here over holidays because shes not gonna go back home. brazil is kinda shit anyway. its crazy to think shes gonna be here. its pretty great. there's still things that i see and i think ill send to you. but instead i just look at it, smile, and walk away. if you wanna come back into my life that's okay. i think I'm ready for you. i just wish we could figure things out and it stops ending so suddenly and harshly you know? i always thought we would be living together somewhere just having the times of our lives, and that hurts. but ive learned to live every day like itll be the last day i have with this person. i love louder. i dont say i love people anymore. not even k. it feels wrong when its not said to you. mum still wonders how you are sometimes. i check on that world we made together on minecraft when i promised i would teach you how to build and it didnt really go well. i still make our jokes and shit. theres so much i wanna tell you about. but i worry youre done with me.
//i guess this will be more than one part.
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Seven Minutes in Purgatory (Moxiety)
This was for @taki-random‘s birthday! ily and i hope it was a great bday! (I forgot to post it bc html stuff [i dont like html esp having to do it on mobile] and so it was in my drafts but now I’m on my laptop I’m posting it!)
Summary: College/High School AU “Three weeks of no talking, only to be shoved together from a drunken game of Seven Minutes in Heaven. It felt more like Hell.”
The closing of the door sounded like the slam of iron bars. Patton kept his comment to himself, feeling the silence grow, like some tangible thing, pressing the air out of his lungs. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears.
A quick glance to Virgil showed that he was on his phone, completely disinterested. Seemingly unaffected.
Seven minutes left and counting.
How did they end up here?
Three weeks of no talking, only to be shoved together from a drunken game of Seven Minutes in Heaven.
It felt more like Hell.
Patton wished he hadn't left his phone in his coat. He checked his watch, watching the second hand tick around.
Six minutes left.
Virgil was still staring at his phone. Patton couldn't help staring, taking in the bags under Virgil’s eyes that definitely weren't makeup this time. He seemed paler, but it might have just been the way the moonlight (or phone light) hit his skin.
Five minutes left.
He couldn't hold it in anymore.
“Is it killing you like it's killing me?” Patton whispered. He didn't expect an answer. He said it quietly, more to himself.
Virgil looked up from his phone. Not angry, not sad, not confused. When did Virgil become so good at looking like he didn't care?
Patton’s eyes became trained on his shoes, not wanting to see that impassive stare trained on him. “Because I… I miss you so much, and...” A tear spilled out of overfilled eyes. “I don't know what to do. How to fix this. I don't even know what I did wrong!” He took a deep breath, pressing a hand to his eyes. “I… Fuck, I just want you back, Virge.”
And there it was. Three weeks of crying through every sad movie, every sad song, every tub of ice cream Logan brought him, came to this. Patton had laid himself bare, and now all he could do was pray that Virgil would give him something, anything that could give him closure.
“I thought you were getting over me.” Virgil finally spoke, slowly.
It might have been a sob, or a laugh, likely both. “Logan will tell you I'm really not.” Patton shook his head, wiping away more tears. He glanced up at Virgil, hating himself for crying so much.
Virgil was frowning, the confusion clear on his face. “You’re supposed to be getting over me. You’re meant to find someone else.”
“I…” Patton’s thoughts were a tangled mess of emotion and confusion. “You're my boyfriend, Virge. Why would I look for someone else?”
He couldn't see the look on Virgil’s face, the tears blurring his vision too much, but he could hear the tap of those heavy black boots on the hardwood floor. “You stupidly stubborn, moral idiot.” Words. Virgil was speaking words. But those words hurt. Patton choked back a sob, closing his eyes. Two hands cupped his cheeks, familiar in their warmth, far more comforting than they should have been. “Only you would…” Virgil trailed off, his thumb gently wiping a tear away.
A soft press of lips to his, and Patton felt this he was drowning and flying and his head was spinning because Virgil was kissing him the same way he did when they first got together like he was starving and Patton was dreaming he had to be but he’d had this dream so so so many times and never before had it felt so real-
“I'm so sorry, Patton. So, so sorry.” Virgil pulled Patton into a tight hug, lips gently brushing against his ear as he spoke. “It's all my fault, I should have told you, I'm sorry that I hurt you so much, I'm sorry I didn't just tell you, I'm sorry that you had to deal with this.”
Virgil’s apologies and scent washed over Patton, clearing his mind of everything else. “Tell me now,” He said quietly, fingers curling into the familiar patchwork of Virgil’s hoodie.
“I'm not good enough for you. You deserve better than a literal anxious mess who fails at most forms of socialisation. Hell, I still have no idea why you like me so much.” Virgil’s arms tightened around Patton. “I just thought it'd be easier to make the inevitable happen quicker,” he said quietly, “but it's not. It’s so fucking hard. Even now I know I shouldn't do this, but I missed it so fucking much.”
“Sweetheart?” Patton pulled back, looking straight into Virgil’s eyes.
“Yeah, Pat?” A tense smile, eyes flicking towards the door. Virgil seemed to resemble a panicky animal, rather than… well, Virgil.
“Next time, tell me when you don't feel good enough,” he said gently, his hands moving to tangle with Virgil’s. “Because I promise that you are. I know that you have anxiety, you told me. I know that sometimes it yells too loud for everything else. I know that you're going to have days where you don't want to step out of the house.” He smiled, eyes watering. “I know what I signed up for, Virge. I want you.”
“I want you too, Pat,” Virgil let out a slow, shuddering breath, and in that moment, Patton felt something inside him settle.
“I'm yours, okay? For as long as you'll have me.”
Virgil nodded, and slowly leaned in, giving Patton the chance to pull away. Patton moved in closer, a soft smile on his lips as Virgil’s lips brushed against his…
And then promptly jerked away when the door opened.
“LOGAN WE FUCKING DID IT THEY'RE TOGETHER AGAIN!” Roman’s jubilant shout was no doubt heard throughout the party.
Patton wondered if he and Virgil could escape out the window before anyone else came.
#fic#moxiety#morality sanders#anxiety sanders#virgil sanders#patton sanders#human au#lowkey also#college au#or#hs au#angst#fluff#kind of#my work
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smoothie klance au?? i guess
you would not guess how many half-written AUs i have in my drafts that become WAY TOO LONG for me to ever consider publishing in a text post. yes this is a short one.
keith makes smoothies for a living. it isnt a big deal until it is.
one night, this dude comes in. who cares about build-up, we all know its lance, and he looks frazzled. he sits at the counter and orders the fruitiest smoothie on the menu. keith makes it and doesnt think much of it, except to note that something about this kid is just... weird?
1: hes coming in alone, which people their age usually dont. 2: hes dressed pretty nicely. 3: hes just sitting there??? drinking a smoothie??? not even scrolling on his phone or anything, just looking around and slurping. okay weirdo. 4: he seems off. keith does not use the word “aura” on a regular basis but lance has an aura. (which does not make sense to keith, who barely understands his own emotions, let alone someone else’s.)
lance thanks keith, and leaves like thirty minutes later. hes certainly not the weirdest customer keith has ever served, but for some reason that random, singular dude sticks out in his mind.
but the shifts come and go, and gradually keith forgets about lance.
until he comes back in again.
its a lot like it was before. lance is dressed nicely, seeming miffed about something, or not miffed, exactly, but hes clearly not happy, and this time he orders a peanut butter and chocolate smoothie, and hes just as quiet as before, only this time hes rapidly tapping away on his phone instead of memorizing the inside of the restaurant, and keith is almost glad because it means he gets to sneak glances at this guy more casually??? like, hes had weird people in here before, and lance definitely isnt the weirdest, but enigma customers are intriguing to keith and he takes what he can get
the third time, its raining. lance is drenched, droplets running down the side of his face and under the collar of his (white, button-up) shirt. he smiles sheepishly at keith from across the room and sits at the counter, nearly having tripped on the way over because he didnt bother to wipe his shoes on the interior mat and created on the floor as he crossed the room.
he orders a strawberry and banana smoothie. keith has been preparing for this. he attempts small talk.
“nasty weather,” he says.
lance nods. “yep.”
god, that was horrible.
keith hands lance his smoothie, his change, and hides at the far end of the counter. lance alternates between staring at his phone and watching the rain hit the windows and slide down the glass. sometimes, he sighs.
the fourth time, its the middle of the day. keith is just getting off his shift, but he imagines himself whipping around and demanding to stay later just so he can serve this random kid he knows nothing about???? his eyes are trained on lance as he walks out the door. he thinks lance glances at him. for the first time, keith wonders if lance comes in when keith is not there.
months pass, and lance comes in on the regular. its clear now that when he comes in, he is not happy. in fact, he seems to be getting less and less happy, judging by the fact that he starts to order mega-sized blueberry blitzes.
and then lance disappears
and keith isnt obsessed with the guy, he doesnt, like, notice except for the fact that he totally does. where the fuck did lance go???
but, you know, whatever. a customer is a customer. keith thinks about him sometimes, but lets it go for the most part.
until he doesnt.
its four more months before lance comes in again. leaves have fallen off the trees and scarves recently appeared in the street overnight. and now, all of a sudden, in an autumn sunset, lance stumbles through the door and throws himself into the nearest chair. keith can hardly believe his eyes.
“what can i get you?” he asks lance, and he thinks lance understands that keith recognizes him. still, lance takes a moment to answer, like he has to pick every part of himself off the ground first. he drags a hand down his face. looks up at the menu. looks down at his hands.
“fuckin... i dont know, man. you ever experiment with ingredients and stuff? like, on your break, you make yourself a smoothie thats not on the menu?”
keith cannot say that he has. “you want something thats not on the menu?”
“yeah...” says lance. “something with chocolate, though. i dont care how much it costs.”
its completely out of place for keith to ask why lance looks like utter shit. hes a smoothie maker, not a bartender. also, he still doesnt even know lances name. and yet.
“what am i trying to fix with this smoothie?” he asks. “rough day? heartache?”
“bingo!” says lance, a bite in his words. he laughs like he wants to die. “dont skimp on the chocolate, man, please.”
keith nods and tries to remember things that lance has ordered in the past (its never been the same thing twice) so he can use that to guess what lance would like. chocolate? what went well with chocolate??? strawberries--people dipped strawberries in those chocolate fountains. and bananas went well with strawberries. strawberry-banana with chocolate. it might be disastrous, might be passable. keith improvises a little on the portioning, delivers the finished product to lance with a pained face.
“i have no idea how this will taste.”
lance shrugs, pays the man, and sticks a straw in it. though keith has other customers, he waits for a reply. lance doesnt give him one. his face is stubbornly unreadable. but, he doesnt choke it back up, so keith doesnt make him anything else. he, regrettably, must now face the other distractions customers.
hes never focused less on what he was making. his goal is to get the order and send it out the door. in the meantime, lance sits at the counter, sucks down his smoothie, and stares at the back wall of the room as though he has recently been hollowed out. keith wonders just what the hell has been going on in this dudes life the past three months.
finally, the line empties out. keith scoots back to lance’s seat. “can i get you anything else?”
lance sets down his 3/4 finished glass (keith has to act fast) and shakes his head.
“we have cookies,” keith offers.
lance snorts into his shoulder. “man, how pathetic do i look? pity eyes and cookie offers and free conversation.”
keith drops all pretense. “what happened?”
lance hangs his head, his shoulders slumping. “i was really hoping that i wouldnt be coming back to this goddamn place for a long time.”
keith doesnt know what to say to that. he knows that it isnt about the smoothies, but he doesnt want to pry directly into lance’s life, so he says, “the smoothies arent that bad.”
“no. the smoothies are great. perfect pick me up. it just sucks that im back to needing pick me ups.” he takes a long sip of schroedinger’s disaster-passable smoothie, and instead of saying anything, keith remains silent, an invitation for lance to explain more. “i used to come in here all the time a couple months back."
“i remember,” says keith, unprompted, because he feels like lance will respond well to honesty right now.
lance raises his eyebrows but doesnt comment. “okay. well, its super lame, and youre going to think im a total loser considering you remember me, but its sort of a personal tradition for me to come in here... after i have a bad date. but i met this dude and we hit it off and we’ve been a thing for almost four months now. and then today...” he makes a soft, sad noise as his hand plummets and crashes on the counter. “he broke up with me.” keith frowns.
“that sucks.”
“yeah,” says lance. “it really, really does. so fuck guys and girls and dating in general for a while. lancey lance is going to take care of himself from now on.”
keith blinks in surprise. lancey lance. “your name is lance?” he asks.
“since day one.”
keith offers what he hopes is an encouraging smile. “keith.”
“well, keith,” says lance, standing, “keep up the good work.”
he slides a five onto the table and heads for the door. keith frowns down at it for a moment. as lance leaves, he calls over his shoulder, “its a tip!”
after that, keith doesnt see lance for a while, but now, knowing why, thats a satisfying thing.
but also, knowing that lance is into dudes and actively looking for love is a worrying thing. keith would have to be blind not to see how attractive lance is, and after their brief but insightful conversation, lance’s happiness is on keith’s wish list. lately, a particular train of thought has been running repeatedly though keith’s head: lance wants someone who is not a jackass; i am not a jackass.
but it would be totally weird for keith to ask lance out. besides, lance isnt coming into the restaurant anymore. keith physically cant ask him on a date. perhaps that is for the best.
and then, one saturday afternoon, the planets align. keith has had a confident morning, business has been steady all day, and he rolled out of bed looking good. lance walks in. contrary to keith’s power mood, lance looks like hes been recently hit by a bus and scraped off the pavement. he makes eye contact with keith on the doormat and gives a rueful smile. keith smiles sympathetically in return.
“maybe im just destined to die alone,” lance says, halfway through his coconut-key-lime whatever. “or i’ll find true love when im like thirty. which would be a bummer. im cute now.”
keith grins. hes leaning nonchalantly on the counter, a cleaning rag tossed over his shoulder. “the world is full of idiots,” he says consolingly.
lance’s eyes bug out. “im one of them!” he protests. “clearly! what am i doing wrong? keith? buddy? my man??? today, my date walked out in the middle of the movie. it wasnt even a bad movie! i have no idea what i did, but clearly she just had enough. i tried texting her, but my messages wouldnt deliver. i think she blocked me.”
“what movie did you take her to see?”
“die a virgin 3.”
“i think i might see the problem.”
“its a tasteful movie!” lance protests. “the whole franchise gets a bad rap because of one bad scene in the first movie, but this one is great! it has keaton lovinsten in it. who doesnt like keaton lovinsten? i was practically drooling over him from the first-- oh. oh. i think i know what might have turned her off.”
keith snorts. “i certainly wouldnt like it if i went out with a dude and he started eye-fucking someone else.”
casually slip into the conversation that you like dudes. good one, keith!
“i wasnt-!” lance turns beet red. “it was a movie! hes a celebrity! and there is no way it was that bad.”
“she clearly thought it was.”
lance’s head falls onto the table. “im hopeless,” he says, but he seems to feel better about saying it now. something in keiths chest settles. he thinks about the alignment of the planets and decides that he cant do this yet. hes going to let the universe keep on rotating, and he’ll catch his opportunity the next time. for some reason, he wants to take this slowly.
so lance continues to make keith’s workplace his lovelorn HQ. keith continues to give him sympathetic pats on the back, one time even literally, and eventually he feels comfortable referencing lance in conversations with others as “my friend lance...”
meanwhile, lance goes on date after date with countless people who are not keith. the jealousy is starting to eat at keith, but he can endure it because he only ever sees lance on the tail end of these tragic romantic encounters, when all lance wants to do is complain about their big noses and loud chewing. still, keith starts to feel like hes playing with fire. on any random day, lance could find someone who makes him very happy, and he would suddenly disappear for good.
on a snowy thursday, lance enters the restaurant with a shiver. he pulls off his mittens and waves to keith, who smiles and waves back over the pigtails of a little girl. when its lance’s turn to order, he appears pleasant, if worn down. he orders extra whipped cream.
“what went wrong?” keith asks good-naturedly, lounging an elbow on the counter.
lance hesitates a moment before answering. he unwraps his whole straw, sticks it carefully in his smoothie, and drinks, before saying, “actually... nothing. i mean, not nothing, but... it wasn’t a bad date this time, it was just, i dont know, weird.”
keith prickles. he doesnt like the idea of lance having a date that wasnt overtly bad. “what made it weird?”
“what was weird was that it was good, but it was with someone bad. well, not bad. hes not bad, he was never bad, but, like, he kind of broke my heart, so...”
keith flashes back to the night lance told him about his bad-date-tradition. he frowns. “your ex?”
lance stirs his smoothie pensively. “yeah. he apologized for a lot of stuff and said hes changed, and, like, i dont know what to do with that. i thought i moved on, but considering im still not seeing anyone, maybe its a good idea to try again. i mean, if its what he wants, and its what i want, then what could go wrong? its not like he was a dick, he was always nice to me when we were together...”
lance’s voice fades out. keith is trying to think of all the ways he can coolly scream THAT IS THE WORST IDEA without sounding suspicious or biased. its a damn good thing that lance is staring into his smoothie instead of at keiths face, because keith is not keeping it together. he had taken too much of his sweet time, and now lance was heading back into a relationship, and keith had to decide if he was going to try to break that up, or watch lance fall in love again.
“how do you know hes changed?” keith asks carefully. “how do you know the same thing wont happen again?”
lance eyes keith for a moment instead of replying. then, he goes back to stirring his drink. “he seemed different. it felt like he had changed. he looked good...”
“you look good,” says keith. lance’s eyes flash up to him, and keith feels his face burn, his mind shouting, idiot! idiot! idiot! “i mean! i mean that you have changed, too, so you shouldnt be hasty about this decision. you should... look at all of your options.”
“do i even have other options at this point? my other option is stay lonely and unhappy.”
“or.” keith licks his suddenly dry lips. “you could try going on a date with me.”
silence rings loudly in his ears. he cant look at lance. he cant believe he just did that. he just said it, just like that, just put it out there for the world to hear. for lance to hear.
lance asks, “do you mean that?”
keith finally looks at him, and takes it as a very good sign that instead of revulsion or discomfort, he sees surprise. surprise and something happy. it gives him the courage to smile.
“yeah,” he says. “i mean it. you could finally see me out of this stupid apron. i mean! you could see me in my normal clothes.”
lance coughs hard into his hand, and keith’s soul withers with the knowledge that they are both currently thinking about keith naked.
lance recovers, albeit with a heavy blush on his face. “i’d like that,” he says. “but, um, just so you know, if it goes badly and you decide you hate me, im buying a blender and making my own smoothies after that.”
“that’s fair, but i dont think it will go badly,” says keith. “let me give you my number.” he pulls a napkin from the dispenser and scribbles on it with a pen, slides the napkin over to lance. when did it get so hot in here?
“thanks,” says lance, folding it and putting it in the pocket of his sweatshirt.
neither of them know what to talk about now.
“um, when are you free?” keith offers. “theres a new exhibit at the gallery that my old art teacher contributed to. its space themed, i think. we could go see it.”
lance nods. “that sounds fun. oh man, this is so awkward. im so sorry. im just still trying to register the fact that you actually asked me out. i did not think that was ever going to happen.”
keith cant help but think, me either. shiro is going to be so proud of him.
and, in a moment of bravery, he decides that he likes to see lance so bashful and awkward. he cant help but press his advantage. keith sticks out a hip, leans forward on the counter, and says, “was i too subtle before?”
but it seems like keith accidentally started speaking a language that lance understood. immediately, lance turns on the charm, a smile stretching over white teeth. keith is only shocked for a moment, and he doesnt let it show. lance says, “a little. thats okay. i like shy boys.”
keith wills himself not to get flustered. “how do you feel about motorcycles?”
“motorcycles?” lance repeats, genuinely interested.
“yeah,” says keith, still smiling. “i could teach you how to ride.”
lance gags a little bit on his straw. keith laughs and leaves him sputtering to tend to a pair of kids who just came in. by the time hes finished making their drinks, lance has disappeared, and in his place is a little napkin with a smiling face and the line: am i your bike? because its easy for you to get my motor running.
keith swipes it out of public sight, grinning, and stuffs it in his pocket.
the date does not go badly. it goes very, very well. keith shows up on his motorcycle, and lance is both impressed and excited to ride it. he hugs keith tight around the middle, whooping loudly, and when they pull into a parking spot, he stumbles off the seat like a champion, drunk on adrenaline, eyes shining. keiths heart sprints. they check out the exhibit and lance amuses keith by making ritzy, intellectual comments such as, “the artist has a certain je ne sais quoi, a, how do you say, need to fuck the canvas” that have keith choking back laughter in an effort to remain respectful. it goes so well that keith has the courage to take lance’s hand halfway through the exhibit, to which lance looks down and says, “gay.” afterwards, even though they didnt plan to, they go out to eat at a diner and split a large order of fries. lance has a unique, deeply personal drink (1/3 mountain dew 1/3 cherry coke 1/3 pepsi with a shot of dr pepper) which he graciously allows keith to try. keith periodically catches himself imagining scenarios wherein he and lance show up on each others doorstep for surprise dates or lounge together half-asleep in pajama pants, lance playing video games while keith watches vine compilations on youtube. afterward, because neither of them want to go home, keith takes lance for a spin on the motorcycle just to feel lance hold onto him, and they end up parking outside a place that is very familiar to them both.
“what are we doing here?” lance asks. he frowns at a large milkshake painted on the window. inside is the counter he’s has spent much of the last six months moping at.
keith checks over his shoulder. “i thought it would be rude to ask if you were coming here after, but if you wanted to, i figured it would be polite to drop you off.”
lance shoves keith in the side, laughing. “shut up, you bastard. you damn well know that this was a good date. take me home.”
keith obediently revs his motorcycle, and they take off together. over the roar of the bike and the wind, keith does not hear lance say, “the best date.”
they arrive back at lance’s house. lance is still awkward clambering off the bike, but its better this time. keith boots down the kickstand, and when he turns back up, lance is right there.
“the best date,” lance says, knowing full well that keith is going to hear him this time. he pulls off keith’s helmet, steps close, and keith only has a flash of realization for whats about to happen before lance kisses him.
“the best date,” keith agrees, awestruck.
“i’ll text you,” says lance.
“can’t wait,” says keith.
lance’s hands are still fisted in keiths jacket. “i think this is the part where you drive away.”
“or it’s the part where i ask if i can see you again. are you free this weekend?”
“if im not, i’ll move plans. count on it.” lance lets his hands fall. “you look good out of the apron, by the way.” he hands keith his helmet. “safety first. dont ruin your face, or i might not go out with you again.”
keith rolls his eyes. “its been a privilege.” he wants to kiss lance again. “see you friday.”
he starts his motorcycle, checks over his shoulder, and kicks off onto the road, leaving lance watching after him. he cant believe its only wednesday.
#klance#klance au#fic#i guess#dont know what else to call it#but take it god its out of my hands now#also dont blame me for the content its 1 AM
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I'm working on your ask, but here's some for you: I, A, M, S, P, O, T
Ask prompt here: x
thanks puffin!! this is gonna be long and nostalgic eyy
I - HasTumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?
I wouldn’t say “actively dislike” butthe toxicity of fandom on this website has sucked away most of my passion for Voltron lol. I used to really dig itthe first month or so after getting really into it when S2 aired. I still havean unfinished draft for a 7-parter rarepair fic //ey guess my fav duo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)// sitting in my folders. don’t think I’llbe touching it any time soon though. im rather burnt out from this fandom, evenif I do still enjoy watching all the new seasons thereafter.
another is StevenUniverse ah a. (but in its and my defence, I wasn’t really into it anywaysas compared to other fandoms. the songs are still good, but I haven’t beenkeeping up with the newer Steven bombs, one part because of motivation, andanother because the thought of going into the tags to reblog contentintimidates the heck out of me pffft)
A - Ships that youcurrently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone hasOTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.
(puffin this question is gonnatake up half the ask oh god)oh bOY where do I start hahahaha. there’s so many aph and fe callbacks hahaha few otps aside I really have too manycrackpairs and platonic friendship ride-or-die squads I would die for. theseare only a few really relevant ones from the top of my head-
OTPS:
Norway/Vietnam (Hetalia) – alWAYS. i dont talk about and reblog much aph anymore but i still think about these two frequently. they were my first and closestthing ever to an actual otp in all my years of knowing what an otp was gosh Ihope to write about them again soon. their dynamics are the peak of mypreferences.
MU(avatar unit)/Silas (FE Fates) – thechildhood friends + loyal knight and liege trope + a pinch of memory loss wasnever really my thing, but guess there’s a first for everything ha h a ah a….silas is too pure for the angst I put him through im so sorry ಸ ل͜ ಸ
Berkut/Rinea (FE: SOV) – the second that one cutscene of these two played I got1000% more invested in the story pffft. anyways rinea may be top tier fav andberkut shit tier fav, and their story tragic as heck (and I would also arguethat he doesn’t deserve her), but their genuine and honest love for each otheramidst the incoming death flags gets me every time
707/MC (Mystic messenger) – honestly they can either be a really good platonicdynamic duo or a solid otp. purely from the perspective of my own MC, theycomplement each other well; perfect balance of light-hearted teasing and asolid wall of comfort for each other.
Ray-Saeran/MC (Mystic messenger) – ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
(Other) Ships:
Seychelles/Iceland/HK (Hetalia) – they are good togetherromantically or platonically hahahaha. a good golden trio of kids
Russia/Vietnam (Hetalia) – their potential relationship and clashof character due to conflicting personalities fascinate me. a totally differentnoir vibe from norviet and one I hope to explore if I ever come back to aph
Nyx/Leo (FE Fates) – nyx ships are reallyrare but half of them are surprisingly sweet and poignant. Odin and Laslow tooare really sweet candidates to woo this jaded grandma’s heart.
MU/Laslow (FE Fates) – got to thank a wacky7-11 employee au dream I had for this one. but in the games their supportconversations are surprisingly thoughtful and low-key flirting which was notwhat I expected at all. wholesome.
Ham/Kai (MUxMU, FE) – remember when I said protag/protagships are the good stuff? yea h thatprincess tutu au is coming along swell
Alm/Celica (FE: SOV) – the rare main canon couple I love whodon’t die and get their happy ending (LOL this sounds really pathetic now thatI’ve said it)
Leon/Valbar (FE: SOV) – no one is surprised LOL. romantic orno, as long as leon is happy with where he stands with valbar and valbar ishappy with where he is im happy for them both
Conrad/Rinea (FE: SOV) – I know there are a couple of youreading this whos gonna give me that look but liste n; they could have met, and there is potential for them.(honestly this is just like another norviet situation where I put my 2 topfaves together for crackpair experimentation bUT IT WORKS I ASSURE YOU)
Zen/MC (Mystic messenger) – zen is so earnest that I can’t refute himhahaha. he also has a special seat in my mysme heart, since he was the firstroute I played and made me create content for the fandom proper
707/Jaehee (Mystic messenger) – they are rapidly gaining OTP status ꉂ (´∀`)ʱªʱªʱª aaaa nightmare flashbacks because justlike norviet they really are the rarest of crackpairs and have almost to no content(gonna get down to business and churn fic out one day). these two are moresimilar than they’d think too.
Cecil/Haruka (Utapri) – ahahaha a good ship from a guiltypleasure fandom
(Purely) Platonic:
Izuku/Iida/Ochako (BNHA) – the first golden trio of thisseries. I love them so much.
Vanderwood/MC (Mystic messenger) – they parallel each other. truly thebiggest ride-or-die duo I will support to the end of time
Zen/Yoosung (Mystic messenger) – zen is such a mother hen to yoosungwwwww truly wholesome
Chise/Ruth (Ancient Magus Bride) – platonic master/familiar-partner relationships where both of them care for each other so much to the point where they would die for the other are my one weakness. its the reason i love writing more fleshed-out pokemon aus and loyal dogs/animals in longer fics. anyways these two are good
M - Name acharacter that you’d like to have for a friend.
707. It would be a trip justknowing him. (apart from the memes. but my life is already 80% meme, honestlywhats the difference ahahaha aaa-) Just, I feel like it would be really fun tohang out with him and revel in his wackiness (even if that personality is afront, maybe one day when i finally get into his inner-circle of friends, I hopeto be privy and be a good listening ear to his truer, more sombre personality.)
On the other hand, myself-confidence and 2nd hand embarrassment will be directlyproportional to each other (And im 100% sure Seven is the kind of person whowill exploit that hAH)
S - Show us anexample of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)
Every relevant character inMysmes is either a type of asexual (greysexual etc.), or on various points ofthe bi-spectrum. Yeah; even self-proclaimed, “straight-laced” Zen lol.
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (wealways need more ideas)
Vampire/Selkie AU ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
a selkie whose skin gets stolen and hidden from a human man is forced to become his bride and taken back to his village. there, to escape the stares of bigoted villagers and the clutches of her overbearing and possessive husband, she takes refuge in the only place he would not go; the old holy church.
only, she finds she isn’t the first to occupy this place of solitude. the master of the church notices her soon enough, and when vampire recognises the ancient weave of magic that flows within her, he appears; intrigued for something other than a fresh meal.
(basically a deviation from the standard vampire (romance-ish) novels lolol plot bunny hit me pre-Christmas eve dinner/yesterday and sofar im digging it. still planning the ship and fandom though; it might very easily be OC-based)
O - Choose a songat random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?
since 1 is never enough, hereare 4 songs I was listening to recently:
Little Knights, Nem feat.Noire : Zen/MC(a zen-ish song through and through)
over and over, Yanagi Nagi : Saeran Choi + 707&MC(more saeran-centric with interpretative lyrics and referencing to both ray andunknown personas)
Finding something to do, HelloGoodbye : 707/Jaehee(fits their “don’t go where I can’t follow” dynamic haha ow.)
Life will Change, Shoji Meguro + Benjamin Franklin feat. Lyn Inaizumi : Kai(mui) or Ham(let)(honestly the entire persona 5 ost is massive fe fates protag feels)
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons thatyou will die defending?
Not really. I’m a very flexible person when it comes tointerpretable lore and content, especially if it’s the type of HCs that thefandom collectively comes up with. Unless it’s a canon fact, I like to dabble orjust stay away from HCs in general. If I have to come up with some in my fics,then so be it. But most of the time these HCs are either super vague or onlyapply to the context in this particular piece or series of writing. Basically Idon’t mind switching HCs for charas frequently as long as it does notfundamentally change their own character. (HCs for hobbies and loves and habitsand relationships apart from their inner circle, etc. are all fine)
Honestly it just boils down to expectations lol I know myown limits, and I know not to be disappointed when canon updates end updebunking (popular) fandom HCs or my own.
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Speaking of my dumb story ideas, I’ve been thinking some stuff to flesh out the Cathedral Game’s setting! RANDOM IDEAS AHOY LONG POST AHOY
* I’m thinking I need to make some concrete ideas for the villains maybe. When I first had the dream that inspired this all, it was just some sort of ambiguous ‘demon army’, kinda like a mindless zombie plague or i dunno, maybe the demons were sentient but they were all evil except for florin anyway? It was a more boring cliche kind of enemy than I usually write, with no moral grey area. Just an endless wave of foes that would justify the setting where everyone is stuck living inside a church and you have to defend it and try and turn it into a little town. And I guess if we had to have a 100% evil enemy with very little character development then it makes me less uncomfortable if theyre some sort of supernatural nonsentient plague instead of a bunch of people born evil. But then Florin existing as your sidekick was like the first part of the dream and it was never explained why he was the only non evil, completely sentient demon. Plus now I have a different zombie-themed story so mindless plagues would be samey. PLUS... welll... I need to stop being all ‘because I saw it in a dream it is somehow a cosmic message that it has to be in the story and can never be changed’. Kinda the point of being awake is that i can look at things more rationally and plug the ol plotholes, yo!
* So anyway, the idea I had was that it would... just simply be an actual army of actual villains with actual motivations and moral ambiguity. I was thinking maybe the setting could be like the perspective of civilians trapped in-between a civil war between two countries, just trying to survive and hoping that the promise of reincforcements coming to evacuate is actually true. The gamneplay of holding the fort and constantly gunning down enemies could be even more depressing when you know that not all of them are necessarily evil, they’re just soldiers doing their job. Maybe its ambiguous whether your country or their country shot first, maybe its like their country is suffering from some form of recession or illness or lack of resources and they’re only trying to conquer this other country because their families are dying at home? Maybe its some form of religious conflict, or maybe its even something with a very villainous dictator running the show but the people working underneath them are just normal citizens forcibly drafted into a war they dont believe in. There’s a whole pile of different possibilities for moral ambiguity, yo! Not sure yet which would work best, hmm...
* Might possibly be an opportunity to use a character I’ve been sitting on for a while but couldnt find a story that suited her. After I played Fe: Awakening I felt really uncomfortable about how the game treated Excellus as if he was hateable only because he was ugly and ambiguously gay/transgender. like.. he’s a horrible jerk of a villain yet the plot really overfocuses on insulting his appearance and gender rather than retaliating against the things he actually does. Made me feel sympathy for a jerk I never wanted to feel sympathy for! So I kinda ended up being inspired by the wasted potential and thinking up an idea for a similar character who actually IS sympathetic, and has the ambiguous LGBTQ aspect properly explored as a plotline. I think it could actually be powerfully sympathetic to see this villain who’s constantly degraded and misgendered by her teammates, and has a lot of reason to believe the worst of humanity. Someone who could switch sides if shown some basic decency by our heroes, maybe? And I felt it could be good if she did have a very similar personality to Excellus, just like a good version of it. She could still be a comic relief egotistical person, but not a murderous monster. And the ego could be like... sad, because she’s purposely trying to act unaffected and secure and like she loves herself, when really she’s being treated like shit and doesnt know if she deserves it or not. And I was thinking also possibly she could be a greedy merchant type character, like Anna? (also from Fe: Awakening) That could be the role she takes in the town once you recruit her, she could be a savvy businesswoman badass! Playing rune factory 4 makes me appreciate how cool a trader character can be, Arthur is so neato~! He talks about it like its the most amazing job ever, I just feel like it could be even cooler if we had that passion along with a more goofy greedy personality. Like ‘hahaha im only in it for the money’, but no, she really has this kinda cheesy cute reason why she does the job, she just really enjoys meeting new people and being able to change the world a little piece at a time. It reaffirms her faith in humanity after all she’s been through. (Tho also she’s still a total badass, since she was a former general of the villain country, after all!)
* Oh and I was thinking of a really tragic alternative route for her if you don’t recruit her. You could fight her multiple times throughout the game and then when you get to the final one and she realizes there’s no escape she suddenly drops the comic relief act and it gets really somber. I was thinking maybe she could have a mentor type character or a friend or a love interest or something? Or some other something she was trying to keep safe all along, some reason why she still had hope, some reason why she was fighting for an army she didnt believe in, just to save up enough money for... some sort of life goal? I dunno, maybe she has a sibling who’s in the hospital and she’s trying to save up for treatment, and then on the day of the final battle she gets a telegram hearing that they died and she wasnt even there to say goodbye. (And the death would somehow be directly caused by the player’s actions, thus determining whether you recruit her or not) So even though every time before she always flaked out like a coward with a comedic quip as soon as it looked like she was losing, now she just doesnt have anything else left to lose. This time she WILL NOT LET YOU redeem her, she will not let you SPARE her, she doesnt even speak a single word in the entire battle. Her difficulty spikes immensely in this fight to the death, and she only cracks a smile and gives a parting quip once you’ve dealt the final blow. And I was just imagining it could be EXTRA depressing combined with her plot of facing predjudice for being transgender! She’s spent most of this time being treated by the other commanders as ‘sir [name]’, gritting her teeth and bearing all this degredation, trying not to stand out too much. But in the end now nobody else is here to put her down, all those other ‘brave knights’ are the ones who ran away like cowards and left the ‘coward’ to take the last stand. And she doesnt care if she dies anymore. So she hangs up her armour for this fight and instead decides to go out in all her finery, wearing the dress she’s kept locked away in her trunk the whole time. Walking onto the battlefield like a bloody bride, and being one hell of a monster boss battle despite missing all of her platemail. A whirling dance of death! To go out smiling! To maybe make her family proud, and if she can meet them on the other side she could do it with the face she always wanted to wear.
* ....basically make it super depressing so you regret your actions and go back and see what the other option leads to. But also so badass that people wouldnt regret seeing the scene, yknow? And this might be the height of her character arc, kinda, but she’d be able to have whole new character arcs if you choose to recruit her. And you can make your own badass battles with her now! * Not sure tho whether maybe the family member/mentor/whoever might die either way though? That could fit the bittersweet found-family themes of the game, pretty much everybody’s someone who’s lost their biological relations and found new people to love in this new community. It could just be like... the choice between this person dying tragically and causing merchant-general-lady to commit suicide, or them passing away naturally due to their illness after saying goodbye to her, leading to her joining the heroes to try and prevent tragedies like this. * A possible other EVEN MORE tragic idea I had- an alternative where this person has already been dead for a long time before the start of the story, and the villain leader has been lying to merchant-general in order to keep her working as their minion. So the player choice would be like... you can reveal it to her and purposely send her into a suicidal spiral as an attempt to destabilize the enemy forces and win an important battle. Its a complete dick move, yes, but it could save the lives of all your family and friends! But then if you believe that this merchant-general is actually redeemable you could like... do the same thing but with different motives, in a different way. Reveal it in less of a sadistic, tactically-planned way, and more of a ‘no seriously this is why you cant trust your boss’ way. And she’d be likely to actually believe you if you’d been befriending her before now. * Or perhaps maybe her sibling died years ago and she heard about it but was unable to accept it, since it was her only reason to keep on going. Maybe she feels guilt that she was too busy making money to try and save them, and that meant she wasnt there to hold their hand when they passed away. So now she keeps on hoarding money for no purpose at all, except because this routine keeps her going. And she keeps writing letters to someone who’s already dead. * buuuut that might be too similar to Malachi’s plot, since he has memory problems regarding a tragic event in his past. Though it was his own death rather than a family member’s! ....actually I dunno, maybe a twist could be that he’s actually her lost sibling? That’d kinda be wrapping things up too coincidentally though. But on the other hand it could be an interesting plot to explore his relationship with his newly returned biological sibling, compared to the adoptive relationship he’s been developing with Florin. RIVALS FOR TINY BABBU’S LOVE! Buuuuuut I also liked the idea of Florin’s death being very far back in the timeline, and he’s been sleeping underneath those ruins for over a century. It could be cool to have him experiencing a lot of things for the first time, and to get a perspective on the past before the war...
* ALSO ANOTHER POTENTIAL CHARACTER IDEA * Another enemy recruit maybe! I seem to be going in twos, I made two demon characters and now two redeemy people XD The idea I had was that this could be just a random soldier that you keep as a prisoner, and have to decide whether to execute him or not. It can be hard to keep prisoners of war when you’re stuck in this seige situation and you barely even have enough food to keep your own teammates alive! Tensions could run high because you’re choosing to keep this guy alive when its making things worse for us all, plus we cant really trust him, seriously?? He surrendered but maybe its just a trap to infiltrate us! He claims a sob story of his country being forced to invade us because of famine, and being drafted against his will, but can we trust anything that comes from the mouth of one of those scum?? And then there’s the question of what exactly you’ll do with him if you think he cant be trusted! Are you able to execute him in cold blood? Do you set him free and hope this decision doesnt come back to bite you in the ass? Do you try and execute him while pretending you didnt- setting him loose in the forest to die of exposure or at the hands of his own former comrades...?? And its very annoying because the entire time he’s insistantly begging you to kill him, and generally being a huge downer! :P This is what convinces you to spare him, if you pick that option. It starts off as just ‘I’m gonna spite you, I won’t let you die if its what you want’, but eventually you realise he really never wanted to be part of this war, and he’s weighed down so much by his sins that his pleading for suicide was completely genuine. There’s no spy plots, he was just a simple farmer thrown into battle with nothing more than the clothes on his back and the sharpest pitchfork he could salvage from the wreckage of his old farm before it was torn down. The famine ruined his business and he had no way of surviving unless he sold his land to the army, to be bulldozed and turned into the site of a new weapons factory. And even after that he ended up forcibly drafted when things got even worse, losing what little livelihood he’d managed to scrape together again. He doesnt have a home to go back to, he just wanted to die on the battlefield, and by all odds he SHOULD HAVE! This is the condition of this latest round of ‘soldiers’, nobody even wastes armour on them, theyre just disposeable fodder to be mowed down as a distraction. What shitty luck, that he just happened to get captured by some bleeding-heart fools who refuse to chop his damn head off! So basically I’m imagining him like a Nanu-esque depressed grandpa who’s kinda sassy sometimes but also really really needs a hug. And like... model prisoner, to a comical degree. When he comes to terms with the fact he aint gonna get killed no matter how much he begs, he’s just like ‘dammit i cant help but help’. He’s just a normal good guy at heart, he’s not really on your side so to speak, he loved his country but he didnt agree with them wanting to wipe out your country either. he misses how his country used to be, and he doesnt know anything about your country or whether its any better, he doesnt have much hope. But when he’s stuck with nothing to do all day, he just cant help subconciously falling into kindly grandpa behaviours! Gotta clean up this cell! Hey, do you want some cookery tips, mr guard? Oh whoops, mr guard you dropped the cell keys, here have them back! Hey this bar over here has poor structural integrity, I tried to rope it back together with a braid of my own back hair! All the time he’s trying to trick you into agreeing to execute him, and being a total sycophant agreeing with everyone who says he’s evil. CMON IM TOTALLY EVIL, PLEASE STAB ME, I’LL BAKE YOU COOKIES! And then as time goes on he just becomes less of a prisoner and ends up making friends with everyone, winning the trust of even those who opposed him the most at the start. All entirely unwillingly! Agreeing with all their oppositions so hard that they stop opposing XD He ends up just pottering around doing odd jobs as a janitor/groundskeeper type guy, even ends up being the one in charge of keeping the keys to the jail he started off in. Somehow the most trustworthy man in the whole town, cos he’s the one person who will never say he’s trustworthy! His humble goodness just shines through~! And he could help out a lot cos he has inside info on the enemy army, and is able to give a sympathetic perspective of the everyday citizens’s life, and just how much dissent there is, how few people are willingly cooperating with the war and how they can find allies and destabilize this regime based entirely on fear instead of loyalty. He’s like a ray of hope that changes everyone’s perspective on this big seemingly-inpeneterable all-evil army! A grumpy suicidal ray of hope, who never shuts up about how hopeless it is! XD of course, eventually he’d be able to find new reason to live in this own, and make friends, and have hugs and joy~! But it’d be a hard journey! And a journey filled with a lot of ‘geez grandpa stop joking about suicide holy shit’ *disciplinary hugs* * Tho actually I dunno if a farmer would be a good career choice for him, I just picked it cos its the easiest to imagine him losing his livelihood in the war. His career in the town would be being this janitor kindly advice man/treasurer sort of guy, but i dunno... if he was a banker before then that makes him too similar to general lady :P ...maybe he was a janitor on someone else’s farm...? Honestly I would love an excuse to have a badass sympathetic janitor man and go on a bit of a small rant about how service work is very physically demanding and deserves a higher minimum wage yknow. RESPECT JANIGRAMP ... actually the name Jani is a good name his name is now jani it is law Jani the groundskeeper, because jani the janitor sounds dumb. SYNONYMS!
* Thinking of ideas for the fictional religion I’m gonna create for this world! Its more fun if we have a completely fictional set of traditions that’re just a general metaphor for topical questions about real life religion n stuff. And it would sidestep the problem of plots accidentally seeming like theyre ‘oh this one religion is evil and false’, when really the point i want to make is about how people of all religions are capable of perverting their faith’s peaceful teachings and using it as an excuse to wage wars. hell, athiests have done the same thing! ‘this religion is inherantly evil bwaaaah’ stuff IS athiests using their own beliefs as an excuse to hurt others. Thats the kind of athiest I never want to be! I completely respect religion and I think that we can never have an answer as to what’s true about creation or an afterlife, we can never know until we die. I don’t believe in heaven, but I dont think I have absolute proof it’s wrong, and I dont care about proving myself right or converting people. I feel inspired when I see people draw strength from their religion, even if I don’t believe in it! Lots of great things have been done in the name of different religions, just like lots of terrible things have. Human beings are great and terrible things, human beings make choices. This doesnt tar everyone with the same brush of whoever made the wrong decision, just because they believe in the same gods! ....man, sorry, I went off on a mini rant there. But yeah, what I hope to do is to have religion as a framing device and discuss some problems with certain so-called religious people, but also show the positive side of it via the protagonists. I mean, the whole point is that you’re living in a church, after all! The idea is that you’d hear a lot of horror stories of other people acting very ungodly in the name of god, both in the enemy army and in the hidden secrets of people in your own country’s government. But the goal is that you see all this hellish stuff and you still choose to be a bastion of what you believe is good and true, you learn from these mistakes and try and make the true sanctuary that everyone was seeking when they fell into the traps of those other monsters. And also I was thinking it;d be like the protagonist’s exploration of being agnostic, after her faith was shaken from her original church being destroyed in this war. She was the only survivor, maliciously left alive by [currently unnamed main villain rival guy], who wanted her to suffer the grief of knowing she’d failed her role as protector. But instead she travelled onwards and found this other church full of defenseless people that need a new guardian, and she is FUCKING DETERMINED to never fail again! It started as just seeking revenge against that evil overlord, but instead its become about protecting these new people and regaining her faith in humanity. And that doesnt necessarily mean regaining her faith, that’s up to the player. She has a journey of realizing that some things about her former church may have actually been corrupt, and that she was just blindly following instead of making her own decisions, She has her hero worship of her dead comrades dismantled, and has to come to her own conclusions about what’s right and wrong in the scriptures she’d learned, and what she’ll do as she goes forward. Its up to the player to decide whether she regains her faith or decides to become an athiest in the end, or even remains agnostic and decides she isnt able to find an answer yet, but either way she will still be forged into a true blue hero, no matter the reasons behind it! I wanna make all options an equally good ending, its just a personal choice that changes some scenes but not necessarily the course of the story.
* Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Religion ideas! I was considering possibly the legend could involve something about ‘an absent god’. The traditions say that humanity failed the creator long ago, and they left us behind because of it. The direction of all religion is based around this idea that we are inherantly born sinful, and have to do certain things in order to appease our ancestors’s sins and bring the gods back. I’m thinking it would be a good idea to create multiple sects of religion that’re variants on the same original holy text, that’s something that fictional religions dont tend to do for some reason. In this case it could be different perspectives on how exactly god dissappeared, and what exactly god saw as our sin, what on earth we have to do to make up for it. And I was thinking that the idea could be that god shattered into a million pieces that were scattered across the world. This leads to territory wars over places that’ve been determined to contain remains of god buried beneath the earth, and people invading indigenous civilizations in the name of holy tasks to dig for these relics. Power struggles over how many god burial grounds your country owns at any given time, controversy every time a digging operation fails to find a crystal. Pieces of god being used practically as currency, used to power magical weaponry in these wars... lies and deceit over fake godstones that no-one can prove you don’t own... * And this way even though magic does clearly exist in this world, it leaves it ambiguous whether religion is true, and whether any of the different sects is more accurate about the true will of god. It would seem reasonable that athiests exist here even when magic exists, thats usually a problem in fictional settings, you have gods right out here in the open yet some people still dont believe in them? XD It’d be like... yes maybe all these crystals that grant magical powers are actually fragments of an absent god. Maybe they grant those magical powers because of the reasons scripture tells us. Maybe if you bring them all together you can meet god and be granted one wish, maybe you could end the war. Buuuuuuuut.... maybe there’s just a natural crystal that grows underground and grants magical powers. Maybe nothing happens when you put it all together. Maybe it’s just like how people considered electricity to be unpredictable divine punishment before we learned how to harness it for ourselves.
* And there could be like... sects of the religion who believe god chose to leave us out of shame for our sinfulness, sects who believe a certain group of humans betrayed god and shattered them, thus holy war is justified against that country. Perhaps even sects that believe that god being shattered was a positive thing, that god chose to give fragments of their power to humans so they could choose their own destiny. (This is considered as scandalous as satan-worship in-universe) And there’s a related sect that believes that humans only even came into existance after the shattering event, that shattering into pieces was how god granted sentience and free will to the angelic servants we used to be. And this has permenantly corrupted us, thus the sin that we need to undo in order to retun god is... individuality, in all its forms. I think these are the ones who had the very extreme fanatical members who ran Malachi’s former church, and committed various atrocities including his murder. (Though, again, this doesnt mean that the viewpoint is inherantly evil. Just the people who took it from ‘tranquility, enlightenment and fealty to fellow man’ to ‘LITERALLY NO INDIVIDUALITY EVER’) ....hmmm, actually the morality system could be even more complex if I nail down a set of different factions of the religion and let you choose between all of them in the end. (or choosing none of them, or choosing your own interpretation) And there’d sorta be a fanatical/critical morality bar too, which determines whether you get the good or bad ending. In this case ‘critical’ would be the good option, I mean it more like... ‘I’ve analyzed everything about this scripture and come to my own conclusions, I won’t do anything immoral out of blind belief unless I actually have reasons to agree that it’s the right choice’. Aka how any normal good person decides on a religion to follow. And the fanatical side would be leaning towards never questioning. So sometimes you would have to like... take options that would seem like ‘the bad option’. Dont just blindly agree with everything that points to a particular faction viewpoint, that’ll lead to badness! Sometimes you have to question things, take it from the perspective of a character who is discovering their own faith, rather than a player who already knows from the beginning what option they want to pick.
* Man this has got complicated lol, I’m starting to ramble!
* Anyway, i was thinking this would explain what the ‘demons’ are, in this world. Normally humans can only use magic by using godstone as a power source, demon is a universal term for all creatures that are made of magic and can use it infinately as part of their very being. They’re considered unholy and must be destroyed, because they’re ‘imprisoning’ a shard of god inside them. And its really unfair because its a complete and utter random chance if someone becomes a demon when they die, you can live your entire life thinking you’re a normal human until the godstone in your heart activates and saves your life. Your life which is now ressurected in a monsterous form and can never return to your old family. The traditions say that it only happens to people who are sinful, thus they totally deserve to be slain, of course! Oh, and I think the main evil army guys would be using demons as weapons, which is part of why the anti-demon sentiment is like... even worse than usual in the protagonist’s country. Its incredibly depressing because demons are completely sentient, and the only way they become mindless battle monsters is if they’re tortured beyond breaking point. The same way you’d reduce a human to that state. But the protagonist starts off not even knowing that demons can talk until she meets Florin, she’s only ever seen these demonic ‘soldiers’ that’re really just whipped and beaten prisoners chained together and thrown towards the enemy in the hope both parties kill each other. “Yeah but why do so many demons ally with the empire?” *florin looks into the camera like he’s on the office* And I was thinking maybe a more positive religious interpretation of the existance of demons could be that they’re actually angels instead. (Yeah, even if this religion is very different its gonna probably have a lot of similarities to protestant christianity since that’s what I was raised in. i dont feel comfortable critcising someone else’s religion that I’m not personally experienced with, yknow?) ANYWAY SORRY FOR THAT ASIDE Yeah, there could be some very rare pro-demon religious folk who believe that those who are reborn after death are actually chosen ones rather than sinful. These fragments of god blessed certain people who were pure enough in heart to earn the power to be able to enact god’s love to the world. Because even though god is in pieces, god very much wants to forgive us. These magical beings are sent as god’s messengers to help guide us on the right path to redemption. That’s why they have such great powers of creation! (though others would say its destruction...) A single plant demon like Florin could watch over and sustain an entire forest, revive it from drought and become a cornerstone to build a whole city around! Though even this faction isnt 100% correct or incorruptable, there are those who’d interpret this as demons having a DUTY to do that. There are rogue members of this faction who enslave demons just as much as the people who use them as weapons. I was thinking a plot could be that Florin almost gets suckered in by a band of these guys, he’s just so overwhelmed to find anyone who doesnt hate demons! But they want to imprison him and force him to grow their crops forever until he dies of exhaustion, because that’ll mean he’s ~happily fullfilled his purpose and rejoined god~. I mean, if he says he doesnt want to, thats just so sad! That means this pure angel has been corrupted by humanity’s sin, he doesnt know what he’s saying! * man i have so many ideas aaaaa
#cathedral tower defense#sorry long post#i need to nail down a set amount of factions for the religious war and think up names for them and stuff#and like... countries#and which countries have how much of each faction#i think the main villain army would be like a totalitarian state where one religious faction is enforced by law#but for everyone else country doesnt equal faction#i think to make the scope of this thing small enough to fit with a mostly self-contained story in a single town...#it would be best to keep it to just two countries- enemy guys and the protagonists's country#maybe mention other countries in passing to add flavour tho#like 'we were supposed to get humanitarian aid from [place]'#and maybe the protagonist is new to this country actually? maybe her entire country was taken over by the villains rather than just hometown
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